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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,740 --> 00:00:21,140 What? 2 00:00:22,380 --> 00:00:24,720 What? What? 3 00:00:26,240 --> 00:00:27,940 Guys, let's cooperate, okay? 4 00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:34,300 We have a very special guest with us today. His name is Ken Alder, and he's a 5 00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:39,160 graduate student in film and anthropology. 6 00:00:40,480 --> 00:00:46,260 Okay? Mr. Alder is working on a very important project he'd like to share 7 00:00:46,260 --> 00:00:48,240 us. Thank you, Mr. Andreessen. 8 00:00:48,780 --> 00:00:53,220 Now, I'm sure you cats are all familiar with documentary filmmaking, the fine 9 00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:56,140 art of capturing real life on film. 10 00:00:56,580 --> 00:00:57,960 That's what I do for a living. 11 00:00:58,340 --> 00:01:02,400 Well, not really a living, actually, but anyway, that's what I do. I think 12 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:06,120 you'll find the project I'm working on now extremely relevant. I'm calling it 13 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:08,540 Generation in Crisis, and it's about you. 14 00:01:08,940 --> 00:01:12,120 That's right, it's about you, people your age, teenagers. 15 00:01:20,650 --> 00:01:21,650 That's cool. 16 00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:26,410 But this film is not about achievement -oriented, academically successful young 17 00:01:26,410 --> 00:01:27,410 people like yourself. 18 00:01:27,830 --> 00:01:30,590 Frankly, it's about so -called problem teens. 19 00:01:31,090 --> 00:01:35,250 Losers, dead -end kids, dirtbag, call them what you will. So what I want to 20 00:01:35,250 --> 00:01:37,630 is, does anyone here know any kids like that? 21 00:01:39,570 --> 00:01:43,170 Hey, Beaver, check this out. 22 00:01:57,869 --> 00:02:02,230 Throughout the history of man, there is one common problem plaguing each and 23 00:02:02,230 --> 00:02:03,990 every race. Where are the drums? 24 00:02:04,270 --> 00:02:05,270 Natural -born losers. 25 00:02:05,450 --> 00:02:07,250 Yeah, and the guitars and stuff. 26 00:02:08,030 --> 00:02:10,930 Roaming predators and gorging themselves on life. 27 00:02:11,370 --> 00:02:12,970 Maybe this is rap. 28 00:02:13,470 --> 00:02:14,470 Yeah, yeah. 29 00:02:14,970 --> 00:02:15,970 Oh, man. 30 00:02:17,930 --> 00:02:19,430 It's missing something, though. Yeah. 31 00:02:20,370 --> 00:02:23,670 It doesn't rhyme. 32 00:02:25,530 --> 00:02:27,510 He needs to bust a move or something. 33 00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:28,730 Yeah. 34 00:02:29,730 --> 00:02:32,150 He needs to take off those damn glasses, too. 35 00:02:32,410 --> 00:02:33,890 No, wait, but he needs them to see. 36 00:02:34,210 --> 00:02:35,210 Did you ever think of that? 37 00:02:36,950 --> 00:02:38,910 Whoa, hey, but that's your Uncle Jack. 38 00:02:39,130 --> 00:02:40,130 No, it's not. 39 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,160 Yeah, it is. 40 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:42,520 Hey, Jack, how's it going? 41 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:44,900 Not him. No, it wasn't Viva. 42 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,960 He's a lot fatter than that. Yeah, yeah, it must have been him, because he was 43 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,800 coming out of, like, one of those, uh, naked places. 44 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:52,539 Oh, yeah. 45 00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:53,960 Yeah. I think that was him. 46 00:03:07,649 --> 00:03:08,870 Did he say prostitute? 47 00:03:09,170 --> 00:03:12,890 I think he said prostitute. No, he didn't. He was talking about, you know, 48 00:03:12,910 --> 00:03:13,950 substitute teacher. 49 00:03:14,150 --> 00:03:15,150 Oh, yeah. Kojak! 50 00:03:15,990 --> 00:03:20,870 Um, so, uh, what was I saying? Uh, you said something about Kojak. Oh, yeah, 51 00:03:20,890 --> 00:03:21,890 yeah. 52 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:26,040 They should have, like, a prostitute teacher. 53 00:03:26,780 --> 00:03:30,540 Yeah. They could get your mom to come in. 54 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:32,720 Oh, yeah. 55 00:03:33,740 --> 00:03:34,740 She's a slut. 56 00:03:36,180 --> 00:03:37,180 Hey, 57 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:40,360 buddy, check it out. Flemmy. That's a chick from White Zombie. 58 00:03:40,660 --> 00:03:43,080 Yeah, that is Flemmy. 59 00:03:43,460 --> 00:03:44,640 What's he doing in the video? 60 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:46,080 He's Flemmy. 61 00:03:46,820 --> 00:03:49,120 He can walk into any damn video he wants. 62 00:03:49,380 --> 00:03:49,999 Oh, yeah. 63 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,300 That's probably because he ruled. 64 00:03:52,140 --> 00:03:54,960 Hey, look, Butt -Head. Someone's hassling your Uncle Jack. Yeah. He's not 65 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:56,080 supposed to be in a bar. 66 00:03:56,380 --> 00:03:58,860 He gets all drunk and gets in a fight. 67 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:00,700 And then he calls up. Yeah. 68 00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:02,700 He's up. 69 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:04,320 Hey, Butt -Head. 70 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:06,820 You think you could come down here? 71 00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:08,380 Yeah. 72 00:04:08,580 --> 00:04:10,140 Next time he does that, we should go. 73 00:04:10,380 --> 00:04:11,380 Yeah. 74 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:15,680 Yes. Yes. Perfect. 75 00:04:16,399 --> 00:04:19,980 Golden. Don't lose it, fellas. Don't lose it, fellas. Hey, Butt -Head. Check 76 00:04:19,980 --> 00:04:20,980 this out. 77 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:22,980 I am the great Cornholio. 78 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:25,600 I come from Lake Titicaca. 79 00:04:25,860 --> 00:04:26,920 Titicaca, Titicaca. 80 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:29,120 That's cool. 81 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:30,800 Excellent. 82 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:32,520 I am a genius. 83 00:04:36,020 --> 00:04:38,180 Quick, Dave, roll sound. I don't want to miss a thing. 84 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,180 Please, just forget the camera and be yourselves. 85 00:04:51,170 --> 00:04:54,090 Okay, so you said this is where you guys hang out. 86 00:04:54,310 --> 00:04:56,410 So, what do you do? 87 00:04:58,050 --> 00:05:02,050 Uh... Come on, do something. 88 00:05:03,050 --> 00:05:04,009 Like what? 89 00:05:04,010 --> 00:05:05,010 I don't know. 90 00:05:05,170 --> 00:05:07,770 Engage in some antisocial behavior or something. 91 00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:09,990 Uh, this sucks. 92 00:05:10,230 --> 00:05:11,230 Let's get out of here. 93 00:05:11,530 --> 00:05:12,670 Yeah, yeah. Stop! 94 00:05:12,890 --> 00:05:14,330 You can't! My film! 95 00:05:15,070 --> 00:05:16,070 Wait. 96 00:05:16,990 --> 00:05:17,990 Here's five bucks. 97 00:05:18,250 --> 00:05:19,250 Yeah! 98 00:05:20,890 --> 00:05:21,890 Cool. Great. 99 00:05:21,990 --> 00:05:23,750 Will you just do something? 100 00:05:31,990 --> 00:05:35,950 Whoa, I'm talking about the beavers and the butthead coming right back. 101 00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:54,600 any American town. 102 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:59,480 Hardworking men and women go about their daily lives, raising families, pursuing 103 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:00,560 the American dream. 104 00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:02,500 Where are the children? 105 00:06:02,780 --> 00:06:05,860 Where are the young people who constitute this nation's future? 106 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:07,600 You're a wuss. 107 00:06:08,180 --> 00:06:10,340 No way, butt munch, you're a wuss. 108 00:06:11,460 --> 00:06:15,660 No way, you're a wuss. No way. We'll call them Stephen and Bernard, although 109 00:06:15,660 --> 00:06:17,400 those are not in fact their real names. 110 00:06:17,900 --> 00:06:21,280 In the wealthiest and most scientifically advanced nation the world 111 00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:25,220 seen, they lead an existence devoid of meaning and barren of intellectual 112 00:06:25,220 --> 00:06:26,220 content. 113 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:29,840 It's flat. 114 00:06:30,220 --> 00:06:31,220 It's flat. 115 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:32,520 And it's dead. 116 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:34,560 It's so cool. 117 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:40,820 Their primary influences seem to be a steady diet of bland television and 118 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:42,340 mindless, heavy metal music. 119 00:06:51,260 --> 00:06:56,000 What's a good wiener? Oh, you are, too. 120 00:06:56,700 --> 00:06:58,260 Yeah. Oh, yeah. 121 00:06:59,380 --> 00:07:00,420 But that's different. 122 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,400 What's different about it? 123 00:07:03,940 --> 00:07:05,180 It's a different wiener. 124 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:07,640 Yeah. 125 00:07:08,540 --> 00:07:10,140 It's probably bigger, too. 126 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:12,920 Oh, yeah. 127 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:15,560 Whoa, check it out. 128 00:07:16,530 --> 00:07:18,530 I'd like to try peeing on a snail sometimes. 129 00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:20,090 That'd be cool, yeah. 130 00:07:20,910 --> 00:07:22,510 You want to pee on a snail? 131 00:07:23,170 --> 00:07:27,290 Yeah, it's like, I'd like to pee anywhere outside, but, you know, I just 132 00:07:27,290 --> 00:07:29,490 like, you know, peeing on a snail, you know, that'd be something different. 133 00:07:29,910 --> 00:07:31,850 How about peeing in the toilet? 134 00:07:33,570 --> 00:07:34,570 Oh, yeah. 135 00:07:35,130 --> 00:07:36,130 Haven't done that in a while. 136 00:07:38,790 --> 00:07:41,910 Check it out, a wolf. 137 00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:43,930 Really? 138 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:46,000 I'd like to try peeing on a wolf sometime. 139 00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:47,340 That'd be cool. 140 00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:51,960 Viva, if you tried to pee on a wolf, he would bite your wiener off. 141 00:07:53,300 --> 00:07:54,300 Oh, yeah. 142 00:07:55,540 --> 00:07:58,620 I'd like to try maybe peeing on one of these guys sometime, you know, like 143 00:07:58,620 --> 00:07:59,620 they're asleep. 144 00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:00,740 Yeah. 145 00:08:01,300 --> 00:08:03,920 You must get tired of peeing on yourself all the time. 146 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:05,960 Shut up, buddy. 147 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,760 You know, I was like, you know, talking about peeing on a wolf and stuff. 148 00:08:09,980 --> 00:08:10,909 Uh -huh. 149 00:08:10,910 --> 00:08:12,090 I wasn't really going to do it, you know. 150 00:08:12,770 --> 00:08:15,370 It's like, you know, it like helps to talk about it. 151 00:08:24,230 --> 00:08:27,510 Tempting though it may be, it is not for the documentary filmmaker to pass 152 00:08:27,510 --> 00:08:28,610 judgment on his subject. 153 00:08:28,950 --> 00:08:31,930 Let us hear from Stephen and Bernard in their own words. 154 00:08:32,169 --> 00:08:35,350 In a word, Stephen, what is your raison d 'etre? 155 00:08:35,970 --> 00:08:38,110 Um, it's in my pants. 156 00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:43,280 Where do you picture yourself in ten years? 157 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:49,940 Uh... You 158 00:08:49,940 --> 00:08:55,300 know, the 21st century marketplace you're going to enter will be a global 159 00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:59,440 electronic village. How are you preparing yourself for what's bound to 160 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:01,240 complex and challenging world? 161 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:05,140 Uh... You said enter. 162 00:09:17,130 --> 00:09:22,130 There's no censorship of any kind. This is an independent documentary film with 163 00:09:22,130 --> 00:09:24,770 a generous grant from our friends at the Exco Corporation. 164 00:09:26,910 --> 00:09:28,090 Censorship is cool. 165 00:09:28,470 --> 00:09:33,330 Yeah, censorship is cool. Yeah. I like when they put those black boxes on 166 00:09:33,330 --> 00:09:36,950 people's thingies. Yeah, like somebody's talking and then they say... 167 00:09:51,690 --> 00:09:55,310 We used to meet every Thursday, Thursday, Thursday in the afternoon. 168 00:09:57,250 --> 00:09:58,250 No. 169 00:09:59,710 --> 00:10:00,190 These 170 00:10:00,190 --> 00:10:09,350 guys 171 00:10:09,350 --> 00:10:12,670 are going to get their asses kicked for like making a bunch of noise on this 172 00:10:12,670 --> 00:10:13,670 dude's arm. 173 00:10:19,610 --> 00:10:20,610 Groove. 174 00:10:22,570 --> 00:10:23,570 Groove. 175 00:10:24,150 --> 00:10:27,250 A dog. 176 00:10:28,370 --> 00:10:31,070 And if you look off to your right, there'll be a barn. 177 00:10:32,610 --> 00:10:33,690 A barn. 178 00:10:34,710 --> 00:10:37,650 You think they're gonna close the barn door? 179 00:10:39,030 --> 00:10:40,030 Yeah. 180 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,670 That reminds me of this joke. 181 00:10:43,670 --> 00:10:48,170 There was this traveling salesman that, like, went to this farmer's house. 182 00:10:49,550 --> 00:10:50,830 And then his car broke down. 183 00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:55,410 And so, like, the farmer wanted to do it with his daughter. 184 00:10:56,810 --> 00:10:59,090 But he told him not to. 185 00:11:00,150 --> 00:11:06,370 And then he had all these eggs. And then he, like, did it with the farmer's 186 00:11:06,370 --> 00:11:07,370 daughter. 12785