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You two are the worst students this
school has ever had! And now because of
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no -child -left -behind law, we may lose
our funding!
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Teachers will get laid off!
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I could lose my job!
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Did you say something about a child's
behind?
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He definitely said something about a
child's left behind. I heard him.
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No wonder you're going to lose your job.
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Shut up!
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How dare you!
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Okay, let's all calm down for a moment.
Now, Beavis, Butthead, because next
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00:00:48,310 --> 00:00:51,440
week's standardized test is... So
important.
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00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:57,020
We're going to use all of our best
resources at Highland High School to
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00:00:57,020 --> 00:00:58,020
prepare, okay?
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00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:02,080
It's a waste of time. They'll never get
it. They're morons. They have the worst
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00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:06,320
grades I've ever seen. Well, that just
means that these boys have the most room
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for improvement.
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Remember, it's all about helping the
children.
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Yeah.
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Just keep them away from their behinds.
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You see that? Right there.
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That's what I'm talking about.
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Hey, you know, whatever you're into.
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Like child's behinds.
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That's not what I meant. I was talking
about no child left behind.
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There he goes again.
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Behind.
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I found somebody.
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The rest of the house left the
situation, but I got lean cuisine.
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That dog needs a tan.
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Yeah, really.
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00:01:48,260 --> 00:01:51,180
He's going to take those dogs into the
smush room.
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So are those dogs guidos, too?
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I don't know, but they better be DTF.
34
00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:06,560
I can speak to them. Now I can sit back
and watch the master plan.
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00:02:09,079 --> 00:02:11,760
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
36
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Oh, hell yeah.
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Oh, hell yeah, yeah.
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The master plan is going down.
39
00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:22,220
So that was his master plan?
40
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To have the dogs, like, poop on the rug?
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That's a good plan, yeah.
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00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:35,560
Well, see, a better master plan would
have been for the situation to poop on
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floor and then blame it on the dogs, eh?
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Wow.
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That's pretty good, Beavis.
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That proves that you're even smarter
than the situation.
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00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:50,180
Well, I mean, I don't know. I don't know
if I'd go that far.
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It'd be cool to meet him sometime, you
know.
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Let's talk about, like, poop and stuff
and, you know, master plans.
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I don't know.
51
00:03:01,620 --> 00:03:05,920
And now my little lovelies will go forth
and poop.
52
00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:09,380
As I go upstairs to my lair.
53
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Something smells like poop.
54
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And that something is poop.
55
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There's poop here.
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There's poop over here.
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It's like Easter, but with poop.
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The master plan unfolds.
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00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:32,200
Right? Okay. It's definitely me.
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00:03:34,890 --> 00:03:38,630
Would you let the dogs roam the house?
No, no, I was sleeping the whole time.
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00:03:38,790 --> 00:03:40,730
Boy, this guy's a horrible liar.
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00:03:41,690 --> 00:03:45,950
Don't even let them out. I was asleep.
What happened?
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Did they poop everywhere or something?
In Vinny's room or something?
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I'm surprised by that question.
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00:03:52,290 --> 00:03:54,790
Don't even let them out.
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00:03:55,010 --> 00:03:56,010
That's crazy.
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00:03:56,790 --> 00:03:59,030
Low grades reflect a lack of goals.
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00:03:59,670 --> 00:04:02,190
I thought it was because we're stupid.
69
00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:06,380
Not at all. So what do you want out of
life?
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00:04:06,820 --> 00:04:08,920
I want a score.
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00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:10,720
Yeah, with two chicks.
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00:04:11,420 --> 00:04:12,900
And I want money, too.
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00:04:13,540 --> 00:04:15,040
That would be cool.
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00:04:16,100 --> 00:04:18,519
What about your higher aspiration?
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00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,860
Ass. Whoa, you're into behinds, too?
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00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:25,540
You and McVicar should hang out.
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00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:29,380
You know, I think you need to talk to
our school therapist.
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00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:30,660
Right now.
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00:04:32,140 --> 00:04:34,340
Some students get test anxiety.
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00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:39,060
Triggered by pressure, the clock, even
the sight of a number two pencil.
81
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:43,080
What you need to learn is to find your
happy place.
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00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:44,640
Really?
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00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:46,780
During a test?
84
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:49,500
I could pass that one.
85
00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:52,660
Close your eyes.
86
00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:55,760
Okay. I want you to make friends with
your stress.
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00:04:57,180 --> 00:04:58,940
You have any porn?
88
00:04:59,470 --> 00:05:01,690
That would help. Our eyes are closed,
dumbass.
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00:05:02,910 --> 00:05:05,990
Could you, like, describe the porn to
us?
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00:05:06,650 --> 00:05:12,690
I think we're all done here. I'm going
to go ahead and send you boys back to
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00:05:12,690 --> 00:05:13,690
your teachers now.
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00:05:14,750 --> 00:05:20,450
Okay, Beavis, Butthead, these teachers
have all agreed to help you prepare for
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00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:21,450
the state test.
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00:05:21,650 --> 00:05:24,130
Okay? So let the learning begin.
95
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:28,940
A prime number is a number that has only
two divisors, one and itself.
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00:05:29,460 --> 00:05:32,200
Martin Van Buren was the eighth
president.
97
00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:36,840
I before E except after T. Every action
has an equal and opposite real. Every
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00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:40,340
positive number has two square roots.
One positive and one negative.
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00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:43,220
One positive and one negative.
100
00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:46,620
One positive and one negative.
101
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:48,880
Whoa.
102
00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:51,800
I just got something.
103
00:05:55,310 --> 00:05:57,150
Number two pencil.
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00:05:58,290 --> 00:06:00,250
Number two.
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00:06:00,750 --> 00:06:07,050
Number two.
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00:06:10,210 --> 00:06:13,810
Be sure
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00:06:13,810 --> 00:06:20,670
to write your name on the
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answer document.
109
00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:26,830
Okay? Don't spend too much time on any
one question. If you don't know the
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00:06:26,830 --> 00:06:29,330
answer, move on to the next question,
okay?
111
00:06:30,070 --> 00:06:31,470
And everybody ready?
112
00:06:32,130 --> 00:06:33,430
And go.
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00:06:35,750 --> 00:06:36,750
Uh.
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00:06:37,290 --> 00:06:38,290
Hmm.
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00:06:39,230 --> 00:06:40,230
Okay.
116
00:06:41,390 --> 00:06:42,390
B.
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B.
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00:06:44,750 --> 00:06:48,690
A. Wait a second. B. E.
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00:06:48,930 --> 00:06:50,630
Uh. Hey.
120
00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:52,280
How do you spell butthead?
121
00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:55,300
Butthead, eyes on your own paper, okay?
122
00:06:55,700 --> 00:06:58,220
E -A... Damn it.
123
00:06:58,520 --> 00:06:59,700
This test is hard.
124
00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:02,660
You said hard.
125
00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:06,100
I say hard all the time. What's funny
about that?
126
00:07:08,180 --> 00:07:10,360
Beavis, no talking, okay?
127
00:07:11,380 --> 00:07:13,500
Yeah, no talking, Beavis. Ow!
128
00:07:13,780 --> 00:07:14,780
Damn it!
129
00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:18,540
Beavis, I'm not going to tell you again,
okay?
130
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:19,960
Good.
131
00:07:20,350 --> 00:07:22,150
I'm getting tired of hearing it. Ow!
132
00:07:22,350 --> 00:07:23,410
Cut it out, butthole!
133
00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:25,170
You idiots!
134
00:07:25,470 --> 00:07:30,230
The future of this school is riding on
this! So you shut up and concentrate
135
00:07:30,230 --> 00:07:35,130
right now! Look, guys, I think what
Principal McVicar is trying to say is
136
00:07:35,130 --> 00:07:38,250
it's really time to hunker down and get
serious, okay?
137
00:07:45,870 --> 00:07:49,870
Uh... B -E -A... Uh...
138
00:07:50,990 --> 00:07:52,430
Beef. Beefus.
139
00:07:53,510 --> 00:07:54,510
Mr.
140
00:07:56,430 --> 00:07:57,430
Head.
141
00:07:58,090 --> 00:07:59,310
I'm all done.
142
00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:04,350
Your name?
143
00:08:04,790 --> 00:08:06,470
All this time?
144
00:08:06,970 --> 00:08:08,490
And that's all you wrote was your name?
145
00:08:08,850 --> 00:08:10,790
Yeah, I wrote my name, too. See?
146
00:08:11,570 --> 00:08:12,570
Beefeth.
147
00:08:12,930 --> 00:08:14,370
Now, wait a minute. Wait, wait. That's
not right.
148
00:08:15,170 --> 00:08:16,250
What's wrong with you?
149
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:18,350
I'm not going to let you ruin
everything.
150
00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:20,690
You're not going to rob me of my
pension.
151
00:08:21,910 --> 00:08:24,250
I can do better without even looking at
the questions.
152
00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:27,940
A, C, E, B, C. It doesn't even matter.
153
00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:30,480
Principal McVicker cheating?
154
00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:34,140
I'm afraid I'm going to have to report
this, okay?
155
00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:36,700
Yeah, well, you can't report it because
you're fired.
156
00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:40,340
It's your fault that they're so damn
stupid.
157
00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:44,039
Whoa, he should make friends with his
stress.
158
00:08:44,740 --> 00:08:47,700
Yeah, maybe he'd calm down if he could
see a child's behind.
159
00:08:49,260 --> 00:08:50,260
He's into that.
160
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:01,210
Well, look at this guy. He's got his
whole day ahead of him, you know?
161
00:09:01,650 --> 00:09:04,670
Strolling down to the beach with the
speakers the wrong way.
162
00:09:06,210 --> 00:09:07,890
Not a care in the world, you know?
163
00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:10,550
Whoa!
164
00:09:11,350 --> 00:09:12,350
Oh,
165
00:09:13,050 --> 00:09:14,250
no.
166
00:09:15,390 --> 00:09:18,150
Well, at least he died before they
started singing.
167
00:09:20,130 --> 00:09:23,890
There was a schlong just then, but I'm
not going to say anything about it.
168
00:09:24,770 --> 00:09:27,910
It's like, these guys both look like
asswipes.
169
00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:30,210
but in two completely different ways.
170
00:09:30,730 --> 00:09:33,290
Yeah, they compliment each other, you
know?
171
00:09:34,430 --> 00:09:36,790
Let's see, what else can I do to be an
asswipe?
172
00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:40,490
Let's see, maybe I'll steal some jump
ropes from some little girls.
173
00:09:42,230 --> 00:09:43,970
Steal some money from a homeless guy.
174
00:09:44,590 --> 00:09:45,449
What else?
175
00:09:45,450 --> 00:09:46,610
Eh, boy.
176
00:09:47,570 --> 00:09:52,070
It's like if their music by itself
didn't make you hate them, they're
177
00:09:52,070 --> 00:09:53,070
plenty of other reasons.
178
00:09:54,610 --> 00:09:56,510
I bet deaf people hate them, too.
179
00:09:58,290 --> 00:10:00,430
I'm glad these guys found each other.
180
00:10:02,430 --> 00:10:04,170
I wonder how they met.
181
00:10:04,390 --> 00:10:08,010
They were probably, like, pushing over
some kid's sandcastle.
182
00:10:08,390 --> 00:10:13,270
And they were like, Whoa, you have tight
jeans and converse all -stars just like
183
00:10:13,270 --> 00:10:14,270
me.
184
00:10:14,410 --> 00:10:17,230
Do you like shoving little kids? I do,
too.
185
00:10:18,270 --> 00:10:19,330
Let's start a band.
186
00:10:24,940 --> 00:10:28,020
That's how we roll through the Century
21 branch office.
187
00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:30,900
Biatch.
188
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:33,320
Yeah, yeah, take that.
189
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:35,320
Your walls are clean now.
190
00:10:38,740 --> 00:10:44,900
More allegations of cheating on the
state standardized test.
191
00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:48,440
Only this time, the accused is a high
school principal.
192
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:50,200
Yeah.
193
00:10:50,980 --> 00:10:53,420
Principal McVicker, do you care to
comment on the charges?
194
00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:55,160
It's not me. It's them.
195
00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:57,000
They're ruining our school.
196
00:10:57,380 --> 00:10:58,500
They ruin everything.
197
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,060
Hey, Beavis.
198
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:04,460
I just drew a number two with my number
two.
199
00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:06,419
Oh, yeah.
200
00:11:06,420 --> 00:11:07,600
Yeah, not bad.
201
00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:10,200
Might want to add a little shading.
202
00:11:11,140 --> 00:11:12,140
Maybe some lines.
203
00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:16,320
Yeah.
204
00:11:16,370 --> 00:11:20,920
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