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Hi there. Are you interested in going to
heaven?
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Beavis, Butthead, do you guys want to
join our demonstration?
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We're trying to stop them from forcing
us to learn about evolution.
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It's for a really cool cause.
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Uh, it doesn't look very cool.
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Hold on a sec, boys. Let me ask you a
question. Do you really believe in
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evolution? Can you honestly say you
understand it?
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Uh... No. I never could understand that
crap. It's so complicated, no one can.
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My dad says the reason no one
understands it is because it isn't true.
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He says learning it in biology class
isn't worth going to hell for.
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Bottom line is, the positive acting
teens don't believe in evolution and
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think they should have to learn it.
Right, guys?
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Yay!
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So, like, if something's too complicated
to understand, then we shouldn't have
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to learn it?
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That's right.
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Cool. Really. I don't understand half
the crap they talk about in there. Way
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complicated. Yeah.
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Maybe these people are cool.
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Good
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evening.
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Tonight, Beavis and I will be discussing
a wonderful and inspiring film called
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The Human Centipede.
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In this movie, a German doctor
surgically connects this chick's mouth
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chick's butt.
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Then he connects that chick's mouth to a
Chinese dude's butt.
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Creating a Siamese triplet called the
human centipede.
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You know, it really is uplifting.
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Through this experience, they learn
about cooperation, friendship, and life.
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And they also learn...
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What human butt tastes like.
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I mean, at least two of them do.
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Yeah.
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That's uplifting.
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And now here's a short clip of the human
centipede.
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A Siamese triplet connected via the
gastric system.
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Ingestion by A.
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Passing through the discretion of sea.
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That's the butt.
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The human centipede.
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Feed her!
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Feed her!
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Hard! Slow!
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You know, Butthead, I was thinking, you
know, they're going to make Sex and the
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City 3.
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So, um...
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Why not make it good?
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Why not have all those chicks go to
Germany and get lost in the forest, and
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the doctor from Human Centipede finds
them, and then he sews them all
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butt to mouth, into one big centipede.
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That would rule.
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That would be two sequels with one
movie. It would be the greatest chick
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that has ever been made.
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Feed her, Charlotte.
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Feed her, Carrie.
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Feed her, Samantha.
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In
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all
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species, genetic traits are passed to
offspring that allow them to survive
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better than their parents. In this way,
the process of... So complicated.
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Hey, Beavis, that Pat dude said if
something's too complicated, we
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have to learn it. Oh, yeah, yeah.
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Beavis and Butthead, do you have
something to add to our discussion of
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evolution?
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Uh, yeah.
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It's too complicated.
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Yeah, and this guy right out in front of
the school told us that we shouldn't
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00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:05,939
have to learn it.
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00:04:05,940 --> 00:04:08,240
Yeah, that's right. Let's get out of
here, Beavis.
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00:04:09,020 --> 00:04:10,260
Um, guys?
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Oh, and, uh, you're going to hell. Yeah,
that's true.
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The Pythagorean theorem can best be
expressed with this equation.
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A squared plus B squared equals C
squared. Uh,
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yes,
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butthead. Uh, we shouldn't have to learn
that. Uh,
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why not? Because my uncle's not a
monkey.
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Yeah, that's right. This is geometry,
not evolution, okay?
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Tell that to the Lord.
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But it shall go unanswered as you roam
the fiery pit of damnation.
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You're going to hell.
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00:04:53,830 --> 00:04:59,270
Now, to start a wrestling match, one
wrestler gets down on all fours and the
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00:04:59,270 --> 00:05:02,150
other wrestler mounts him from behind
like so.
83
00:05:02,710 --> 00:05:03,990
Whoa. Sure.
84
00:05:04,539 --> 00:05:08,300
Definitely going to hell. Yeah, I don't
understand that at all.
85
00:05:09,220 --> 00:05:12,180
I mean, you know, it's okay for you
guys, maybe. To each his own.
86
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Damn it, Beavis, butthead, get back here
now!
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Hey, Beavis, let's go tell Principal
McVicker he's going to hell.
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Yeah, really.
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What kind of a place is he running here?
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Hey, boys, how come you aren't in class?
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Uh, we got suspended.
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Because we refuse to learn stuff that's
too complicated to understand. Just like
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you said. You got suspended for your
beliefs?
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This is exactly what we need to get our
message out to the media. Hold on, boys.
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I gotta make a call.
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For a guy who does cool stuff, he sure
doesn't look very cool.
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It's kind of embarrassing.
98
00:05:58,410 --> 00:06:04,330
I am here live at Highland High School
where two local boys have taken a daring
99
00:06:04,330 --> 00:06:05,970
stand for their beliefs.
100
00:06:06,210 --> 00:06:08,770
Now, tell us, what exactly happened?
101
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Uh, we're like not going to go to school
because they don't like our beliefs.
102
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Yeah, they never really did.
103
00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:18,680
It's not that these boys don't want to
go to school. The fact is they were
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suspended for supporting our movement.
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He said movement.
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I've been suspended for that, too.
107
00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:33,120
Beavis Butthead, what led you to take
such a strong stand against evolution?
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Well, it's like that dude says.
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If you can't understand it, then it must
not be true.
110
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Exactly. I mean, I don't understand it.
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And I'm stupid.
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See?
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And, by the way, this incendiary issue
will be taken up tonight at that town
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hall meeting. Back to you, Miguel.
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Miguel's going to hell. And take the
weather guy with you, too. He sucks.
116
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The charred walls of the damned.
117
00:07:05,670 --> 00:07:09,970
Is that Gandalf? Ooh, that's a good one.
I think so.
118
00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:13,960
And I know they had homeless people in
Middle Earth.
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They've been trying to, like, escape
from the shelf.
120
00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:18,840
Oh, they're alive?
121
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They're very close by.
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I keep calling meeting.
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Meeting!
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Meeting!
125
00:07:30,660 --> 00:07:35,500
First of all, to make sure that we're
gathering respectfully, this clan here
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00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:36,500
an elder.
127
00:07:36,910 --> 00:07:40,890
These are the clams that ought to be
respected because they've lived a long
128
00:07:40,890 --> 00:07:44,910
time. They have their genetic heritage
to pass on to the young. Boy, this guy
129
00:07:44,910 --> 00:07:46,690
has more rules than the army.
130
00:07:47,650 --> 00:07:51,330
A dirty, stinky, itchy, smelly army.
131
00:07:52,170 --> 00:07:55,950
And beardy, you know, with a bunch of
disgusting homeless people.
132
00:07:56,550 --> 00:08:00,050
I need to go and be in the forest right
now.
133
00:08:00,390 --> 00:08:03,070
Whoa, when did his shirt come off?
134
00:08:03,490 --> 00:08:04,510
We'll sit and connect.
135
00:08:05,580 --> 00:08:07,060
Gandalf is ready to connect.
136
00:08:08,380 --> 00:08:10,580
What are you feeling?
137
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:12,620
Right now, a lot of pain.
138
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:20,120
I just went for a walk. With the
experience with the clams, I don't think
139
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:21,580
differently of you because of it.
140
00:08:22,940 --> 00:08:25,200
It was the clams that made it hurt.
141
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Can you pull up your inner resilience?
142
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Yeah. And then you can pull my inner
resilience.
143
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Is anyone looking?
144
00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:39,120
Gandalf will show you some shame.
145
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Now go back to your tent and take off
your clothes.
146
00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:53,720
The other side keeps saying the theory
of evolution as if all the scientific
147
00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:56,440
facts... See what we have to put up
with?
148
00:08:56,880 --> 00:09:00,820
...themed researchers and academics...
Tell it to someone who cares!
149
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:02,560
Yeah, like Satan.
150
00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:04,680
You can tell him when you're in hell!
151
00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:06,640
That's enough!
152
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:12,480
Now you two boys, shut up before I come
over there and do it for you! I think
153
00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:14,300
what these boys are trying to say...
154
00:09:14,570 --> 00:09:18,590
is that our science classes should teach
all possibilities for the origin of
155
00:09:18,590 --> 00:09:22,290
life. After all, evolution is only a
theory.
156
00:09:22,550 --> 00:09:26,010
I agree with Max here. Yeah, science is
stupid.
157
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Wait, that's not what I was saying.
158
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This fact is exactly the kind of
dangerous ideological thinking that
159
00:09:31,690 --> 00:09:35,190
undermine not only years of scientific
advance, The fact is you are going to
160
00:09:35,190 --> 00:09:38,250
roast in hell because you're not letting
go. Yeah, you're all going to hell.
161
00:09:38,410 --> 00:09:43,150
Please, we don't accomplish anything
like this. Shut up!
162
00:09:45,450 --> 00:09:51,370
Okay, since we can't agree to disagree,
the only solution is to find a
163
00:09:51,370 --> 00:09:54,410
compromise that both sides are
comfortable with.
164
00:09:54,890 --> 00:09:57,290
Yeah, they'll be comfortable in hell.
165
00:09:59,030 --> 00:10:00,210
Sorry about that.
166
00:10:02,570 --> 00:10:09,150
So, thanks to Beavis and Butthead, you
don't have to learn about evolution
167
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:10,830
today if you don't want to.
168
00:10:13,150 --> 00:10:14,170
We're popular.
169
00:10:15,050 --> 00:10:18,230
Looks like no one wants to.
170
00:10:18,550 --> 00:10:21,570
Very well. Then today you have to study
this.
171
00:10:22,390 --> 00:10:25,950
I only have one copy, so please take
detailed notes.
172
00:10:26,570 --> 00:10:31,790
The theory of intelligent design holds
that certain features of the universe
173
00:10:31,790 --> 00:10:36,250
best explained by an intelligent cause.
I knew that Max guy wasn't cool.
174
00:10:37,810 --> 00:10:39,550
Let's get out of here, Beavis.
175
00:10:40,610 --> 00:10:42,130
We're going to hell.
176
00:10:42,890 --> 00:10:44,830
Yeah, maybe it won't be so bad.
177
00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:49,430
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