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1
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Megan, you've meant so much to me these
past few weeks.
2
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This has been so much harder than I
thought it would be.
3
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What a wuss.
4
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Yeah, really.
5
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How come kicks are into this dude
anyway? And going fishing with your dad
6
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the first time I've been able to relax
during this whole thing. What is
7
00:00:26,180 --> 00:00:27,480
that?
8
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Somebody put like a vegetable or
something in my chili dog.
9
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I think it's an onion.
10
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Megan, I'm sorry, but I won't be giving
you a rose this evening.
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Here, jerker.
12
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Whoa,
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you're crying.
14
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No, I'm not.
15
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You're crying like a girl. No way.
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I am not.
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Damn it.
18
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You're moved.
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I am not moved.
20
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Shut up.
21
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This is amazing.
22
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Addicted to porn?
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Cool.
24
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Porn allows me to enjoy women without
having to deal with their real -life
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drama.
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It's one of my favorite things to do is
smoke cigars while I watch porn to keep
27
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it luxurious.
28
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This guy kicks ass.
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Set the alarm for 221, get up and watch
a little porno.
30
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Good morning, Grandma.
31
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I live with my grandmother.
32
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What's happening today?
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I'm looking for a job on Craigslist
right now. I don't see why he needs to
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job. It's like he's got a car and a
place to live and he's fat.
35
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Yeah, really.
36
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Damn it, the porn's all blurry.
37
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Today I have a job interview for the
first time in a while.
38
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Where's he going to get a job? I
definitely don't want to be 30 and
39
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own town.
40
00:02:05,470 --> 00:02:09,449
He could get like a... He could get a
job washing dishes with one hand.
41
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Mowing the lawn with one hand.
42
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What to do?
43
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Porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn,
porn.
44
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Porn, porn, porn, glasses.
45
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Porn, porn, porn, porn. Gas up the car.
Porn, porn, porn, porn, porn.
46
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Porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn,
porn, porn.
47
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What are you guys doing?
48
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Go visit with dad.
49
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Porn, porn, porn.
50
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Porn, porn. Oh, there's my sisters.
Porn, porn, porn, porn. Hi, dad. Porn.
51
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Porn. He's like watching so much porn,
he's starting to look like a schlong.
52
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Pornography? What's that?
53
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I think that's like the study of porn.
54
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Yeah, this guy is a pornologist.
55
00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:01,160
Yeah, really.
56
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:03,740
Porn, porn, porn.
57
00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:06,920
You know what would be good right now?
58
00:03:07,580 --> 00:03:11,600
Porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn,
porn, porn.
59
00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:15,420
Well, like yesterday?
60
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You were crying.
61
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Shut up, butthead. I was not.
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Damn it.
63
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That's why so many readers find Atticus'
speech so moving.
64
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Mr. Van Driessen, I bet Beavis was
really moved by it. Cut it out,
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Because yesterday, I saw him crying.
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No, I wasn't. I was not. It's okay to be
touched, Beavis. Yeah.
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Beavis was touched.
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Shut up. I was not crying, butthead.
69
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Hey, guys. What's up?
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Hey, Stuart.
71
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Have you heard the news?
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Shut up, butthead.
73
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No. What?
74
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Beavis was crying.
75
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Shut up. I was not. I was not crying.
76
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I wasn't.
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Something happened to my eyes.
78
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It was like that onion.
79
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Uh, attention, everyone.
80
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Beavis was crying.
81
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Damn it, I was not crying.
82
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Whoa.
83
00:04:31,690 --> 00:04:32,690
Hey, butter.
84
00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:36,620
Remember that movie where that slut from
Sex and the City was like a mannequin?
85
00:04:36,780 --> 00:04:37,780
Uh, yeah.
86
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I mean, I was just thinking, like, I
mean, that would be cool if, like, I
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a hot mannequin, like, came back to
life. Dammit, Beavis, quit changing the
88
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subject.
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You were crying.
90
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Stop it!
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Shut up!
92
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It's okay to be touched, Beavis.
93
00:04:54,940 --> 00:04:56,080
Dammit, shut up!
94
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Woof. I was not crying!
95
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Butthole!
96
00:05:05,450 --> 00:05:10,610
We'll climb the rope, touch the ceiling,
and descend all within 30 seconds.
97
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Are there any questions?
98
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I have a question.
99
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What happens if Beavis starts crying? I
was not crying. I was not crying. I'm
100
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going to kick your ass. You are crying.
101
00:05:23,530 --> 00:05:27,070
You will beat the crap out of Butthead
on your own time.
102
00:05:27,490 --> 00:05:28,950
Don't yell at him too hard.
103
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He might start crying.
104
00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:32,679
Let me go.
105
00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:36,200
I'm going to kill you. Here come the
waterworks. Let me at him. It's okay,
106
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Beavis. Damn it. It's all right to cry.
107
00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:40,980
Crying takes the fat out of you.
108
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Damn it.
109
00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:45,240
I was not crying.
110
00:05:52,540 --> 00:05:56,780
This is like the same dance they did in
Party Rock, Anson.
111
00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:00,440
Except they're, like, pretending they're
choking their chickens while they're
112
00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:01,440
doing it.
113
00:06:01,740 --> 00:06:03,460
I like it.
114
00:06:04,460 --> 00:06:09,580
Yeah, it's like, you know, they're,
like, growing as artists or something.
115
00:06:13,660 --> 00:06:20,340
You know, I thought, like, that the
comedy sucks and that, like, nobody has
116
00:06:20,340 --> 00:06:25,800
job and these guys are just spraying
around expensive champagne everywhere.
117
00:06:27,450 --> 00:06:30,610
I heard they have, like, a really rich
dad.
118
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And then that one tall dude is the other
dude's uncle.
119
00:06:34,470 --> 00:06:38,670
And then, like, their grandpa is, like,
the same guy.
120
00:06:38,910 --> 00:06:40,090
So they don't care.
121
00:06:40,790 --> 00:06:41,790
What, really?
122
00:06:42,450 --> 00:06:45,390
Yeah. It's too bad we weren't born as
them.
123
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You know, why is that? How come we were
born as us?
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I don't know.
125
00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:57,400
It's not fair.
126
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Take that bottle and make it.
127
00:07:03,780 --> 00:07:04,960
Good news, guys.
128
00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:07,020
We saved the community center.
129
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:08,520
Let's all dance.
130
00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:13,120
My
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biscuits.
132
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Who ate my biscuits? I don't know.
133
00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:34,960
Hey, Beavis.
134
00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:38,080
Huh?
135
00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:39,540
What?
136
00:07:41,820 --> 00:07:43,620
You were crying.
137
00:07:43,860 --> 00:07:46,280
I was not. I was not crying.
138
00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:53,580
I'm serious.
139
00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:58,860
I was not crying.
140
00:07:59,300 --> 00:08:02,080
I'm not crying now either.
141
00:08:05,420 --> 00:08:06,820
Bottle.
142
00:08:06,870 --> 00:08:11,420
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