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1
00:00:20,219 --> 00:00:22,140
Whoa, check it out.
2
00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:24,080
It says ass.
3
00:00:36,090 --> 00:00:42,270
Uh, Mary Ruffian Man.
4
00:00:42,550 --> 00:00:48,750
Uh, wait a minute. Mary Ruffian Woman.
5
00:00:49,390 --> 00:00:52,570
Whoa. Foreign chicks.
6
00:00:53,170 --> 00:00:56,110
Foreign chicks kicking ass.
7
00:00:56,410 --> 00:00:58,170
Hey, Beavis.
8
00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:00,700
I could get a wife.
9
00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:03,500
Whoa, cool.
10
00:01:04,099 --> 00:01:05,280
Get a naked one.
11
00:01:07,620 --> 00:01:09,480
Hello, Russian Wives Unlimited.
12
00:01:10,700 --> 00:01:14,040
I'm a rich American with a big wiener.
Yeah.
13
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:22,040
And what kind of package would you be
interested in, sir?
14
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Her package?
15
00:01:25,980 --> 00:01:26,980
Yes, sir.
16
00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:31,440
But which of our offers are you most
interested in? We've got everything from
17
00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:36,100
trip to Russia for $5 ,000 to videotapes
and color catalogs starting at just
18
00:01:36,100 --> 00:01:37,720
$100. What'll it be?
19
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Can you hold on a second?
20
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Wait, no.
21
00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:48,240
Hello, Russian Wives Unlimited.
22
00:01:48,460 --> 00:01:49,960
Why did you lie to me?
23
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Katya? You promised me a handsome, rich
American man, but this man is a pig and
24
00:01:56,060 --> 00:01:58,360
an idiot. I must have a divorce.
25
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Hold on, Katya. A marriage is a sacred
partnership, and... Hey, wait a minute.
26
00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:10,400
You know, I happen to have on the line
right now another American man who I
27
00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:13,180
think would be perfect for you. His name
is Mr.
28
00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:18,640
Head. He's got a great sense of humor,
and he's worldly, smart, and very rich.
29
00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:20,120
Go on.
30
00:02:20,430 --> 00:02:24,250
And, you know, he doesn't live very far
from you. Tell you what, I'll pay for
31
00:02:24,250 --> 00:02:25,250
your transportation.
32
00:02:25,350 --> 00:02:30,050
Hey, Pudit, do you think Russian chicks
know how to, you know, do it?
33
00:02:30,950 --> 00:02:32,810
Uh, she better.
34
00:02:33,330 --> 00:02:35,730
Cool. Maybe she could teach us.
35
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,910
Mr. Head, I found you a wife.
36
00:02:39,290 --> 00:02:40,290
Cool.
37
00:02:54,730 --> 00:02:55,730
Repeat after me.
38
00:02:56,110 --> 00:03:01,290
I, Butthead, do you with all my heart
and soul and my wiener.
39
00:03:01,710 --> 00:03:07,970
I, Butthead, do you with all my heart
and soul and my wiener.
40
00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:11,230
You may now do the brawl.
41
00:03:12,690 --> 00:03:14,610
This is going to be cool.
42
00:03:32,140 --> 00:03:33,140
Hey, baby.
43
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,280
Hi. My name is Katya.
44
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:38,240
Where is Mr. Head?
45
00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:40,500
Uh, in my pants.
46
00:03:41,700 --> 00:03:43,900
Whoa! Hey, buddy, is that your wife?
47
00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:45,680
Yeah.
48
00:03:46,580 --> 00:03:48,140
You are Mr. Head?
49
00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:49,500
Uh, yeah.
50
00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:56,740
So, uh, I guess I should, like, carry
you across the thrash hole now so we
51
00:03:56,780 --> 00:03:57,780
like, do it.
52
00:04:00,350 --> 00:04:02,030
Go ahead and get you here.
53
00:04:06,150 --> 00:04:08,750
Yeah, let's just go straight to the
doing it part.
54
00:04:17,010 --> 00:04:18,990
Hey, Beva, pull my finger.
55
00:04:33,060 --> 00:04:34,060
Well,
56
00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:35,900
uh, wife?
57
00:04:37,140 --> 00:04:40,500
You want to, you know, go into the other
room?
58
00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:42,319
Yeah, really.
59
00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:45,000
Tell your wife to go into the kitchen
and, like, make some food.
60
00:04:46,300 --> 00:04:48,340
I'm glad to go in another room.
61
00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:49,720
Cool.
62
00:04:58,410 --> 00:04:59,470
It's a lot cheaper if you dial direct.
63
00:04:59,790 --> 00:05:00,810
I don't care.
64
00:05:02,790 --> 00:05:04,590
Hey, Beva, you know what?
65
00:05:06,370 --> 00:05:11,130
Pretty soon, it's going to be like, hey,
wife, pull my wiener.
66
00:05:26,190 --> 00:05:27,190
Plus,
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00:05:27,550 --> 00:05:31,650
I figure if she won't put out, I can
probably just have her arrested for
68
00:05:31,650 --> 00:05:32,650
foreigner or something.
69
00:05:33,310 --> 00:05:34,310
Cool.
70
00:05:34,830 --> 00:05:36,610
Have her executed.
71
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:41,990
I bet they sent over a wife for me, too.
72
00:05:42,270 --> 00:05:43,270
That would be cool.
73
00:05:44,670 --> 00:05:47,210
Hi, guys. What you doing? Damn it.
74
00:05:47,550 --> 00:05:48,550
Get out of here, Stuart.
75
00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:52,040
I just had a really cool idea for how we
could hang out together.
76
00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:53,880
Have you guys ever played Pog?
77
00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,040
Uh, who's that?
78
00:05:58,500 --> 00:06:00,440
Do you have, like, a visitor or
something?
79
00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:01,800
Uh, yeah.
80
00:06:02,060 --> 00:06:03,080
It's my wife.
81
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:05,440
Come on, who is it? Really?
82
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,840
Uh, Stuart, this is my wife.
83
00:06:09,260 --> 00:06:11,120
Uh, wife, this is Stuart.
84
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:13,440
He's a wussy.
85
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,580
Wow, are you two really married?
86
00:06:15,900 --> 00:06:17,680
Yeah, and you know what else?
87
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:20,440
We're gonna have sex.
88
00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:26,460
Whoa! So it's like, you gotta go now,
Stuart, because we're gonna do it.
89
00:06:26,780 --> 00:06:28,160
Get the hell out of here.
90
00:06:29,220 --> 00:06:30,340
You too, Beavis.
91
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:33,980
Come on, Beavis. I'll show you my Pogs
collection.
92
00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:38,900
I got this great new Slammer. Yeah, go
play your little games.
93
00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:41,340
We're gonna have sex.
94
00:06:42,020 --> 00:06:43,700
Come on, Beavis. No way!
95
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:45,840
I'm gonna stay and watch him do it.
96
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:51,150
Come on.
97
00:06:54,030 --> 00:06:55,410
Nothing's gonna be cool.
98
00:06:58,810 --> 00:06:59,810
Hi, baby.
99
00:07:00,890 --> 00:07:03,510
Try to touch me and I'll break your
hand.
100
00:07:05,230 --> 00:07:06,510
The fuck?
101
00:07:10,220 --> 00:07:15,220
Now, class, an interesting thing to
remember is that the Hindus believe that
102
00:07:15,220 --> 00:07:18,400
everybody gets to the final nirvana,
okay?
103
00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:21,820
It's a path we are all headed to.
104
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:26,080
Now, you might be reincarnated in a
lower path.
105
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:30,140
This is where Hinduism and Christianity
differ the most.
106
00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:33,280
Excuse me, who's that sitting next to
Butthead?
107
00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:36,300
It's just me, Beavis.
108
00:07:36,940 --> 00:07:38,680
Not you, dumbass.
109
00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:42,400
Uh, this is my wife.
110
00:07:42,780 --> 00:07:44,160
Wanna see her naked?
111
00:07:44,780 --> 00:07:45,780
Yeah!
112
00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:52,440
Come on, butthead. Remember our little
talk about sexism? Okay.
113
00:07:53,020 --> 00:07:57,400
And whoever she is, I'm sure our visitor
doesn't appreciate your claiming to be
114
00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:58,400
her spouse.
115
00:07:58,740 --> 00:08:02,480
She's like one of those, you know, made
-to -order brides.
116
00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:04,700
I think she's foreign.
117
00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:08,540
Is this true, Miss, uh... Gotcha.
118
00:08:09,340 --> 00:08:12,700
And, uh, it's, um, sort of true.
119
00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:17,260
But I'm not even married, and I already
want a divorce from this idiot.
120
00:08:21,900 --> 00:08:26,960
So, uh, wife, wanna go and, uh,
121
00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:29,800
constipate the marriage?
122
00:08:31,740 --> 00:08:33,400
Hey, slow down.
123
00:08:33,860 --> 00:08:35,080
Yeah, slow down, damn it.
124
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,260
You big penis.
125
00:08:38,789 --> 00:08:39,970
Hey, dollface.
126
00:08:40,350 --> 00:08:41,950
Get me the hell out of here.
127
00:08:42,630 --> 00:08:44,890
Climb in and grab on already.
128
00:08:47,410 --> 00:08:48,410
Woo -hoo!
129
00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:53,590
I'm leaving
130
00:08:53,590 --> 00:09:00,430
you. My wife left me for another
131
00:09:00,430 --> 00:09:01,430
man.
132
00:09:02,670 --> 00:09:03,670
Hey,
133
00:09:05,770 --> 00:09:07,950
Butt -head, do you think Todd did it
with your wife?
134
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:15,320
I'm just wondering, you know, if the two
of them did it.
135
00:09:15,660 --> 00:09:18,280
You know, because she's not supposed to
do it with other guys, right?
136
00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:20,040
Oh, Todd.
137
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:25,760
But what I don't understand is she's
your wife. So, like, isn't she supposed
138
00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:29,680
do it with you then instead of Todd?
Because I don't remember, like, you
139
00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:33,280
him it was okay to have sex with your
wife. Damn it, Beavis, she's not really
140
00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:37,020
wife. I don't think it even counts
because, like, we never did it.
141
00:09:38,140 --> 00:09:40,720
It's like the marriage is anal -ed or
something.
142
00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:42,120
Oh, yeah, yeah.
143
00:09:42,510 --> 00:09:44,970
So, like, do you think Todd's married to
her now?
144
00:09:45,330 --> 00:09:47,510
Nah. Because I bet he did it with her.
145
00:09:47,870 --> 00:09:51,390
I knew it when I first saw her in his
car. You know what I'm saying? You could
146
00:09:51,390 --> 00:09:53,690
just tell. It's like she had do it
written all over her.
147
00:09:53,910 --> 00:09:54,910
Whoa,
148
00:09:55,130 --> 00:09:56,890
hey, wait a minute. I just thought of
something.
149
00:09:57,590 --> 00:10:01,470
So, like, now that Todd did your wife,
it's kind of like you and Todd are
150
00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:02,470
related.
151
00:10:02,490 --> 00:10:03,490
Oh, yeah.
152
00:10:04,110 --> 00:10:05,150
We are related.
153
00:10:05,570 --> 00:10:07,570
I bet Todd will let me into his gang
now.
154
00:10:08,510 --> 00:10:10,530
Yeah. Yeah, me too.
155
00:10:22,010 --> 00:10:23,010
Yeah,
156
00:10:23,650 --> 00:10:25,510
Pantera, yeah, yeah.
157
00:10:26,370 --> 00:10:27,370
Yeah.
158
00:10:28,690 --> 00:10:31,510
But, uh, what's going on here?
159
00:10:32,270 --> 00:10:33,710
Don't worry about it. It's just rocking.
160
00:10:47,990 --> 00:10:50,570
Yeah! Yeah! Come on! Yeah!
161
00:10:51,590 --> 00:10:52,910
Yeah! Yeah!
162
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:57,490
Hey, but it... Does this Pantera guy
ever relax?
163
00:10:58,110 --> 00:10:59,670
Uh, I don't think so.
164
00:11:00,930 --> 00:11:04,230
This guy's dad must have kicked his ass
when he was a kid.
165
00:11:04,670 --> 00:11:05,429
Yeah, really.
166
00:11:05,430 --> 00:11:08,370
He was like, Damn it, Pantera, this beer
is warm!
167
00:11:08,590 --> 00:11:09,590
Get me another one!
168
00:11:09,750 --> 00:11:10,750
Yeah.
169
00:11:11,610 --> 00:11:15,450
He was like, You treat your stepmother
with respect, Pantera.
170
00:11:17,069 --> 00:11:18,910
or you'll be sleeping in the street.
171
00:11:20,570 --> 00:11:25,070
He's like, Damn it, Pantera, I told you
to get out there and mow that lawn.
172
00:11:25,990 --> 00:11:26,990
Oh, what's this?
173
00:11:27,110 --> 00:11:28,570
Is that a tear, Pantera?
174
00:11:28,970 --> 00:11:30,850
Oh, is Daddy's little girl upset?
175
00:11:31,310 --> 00:11:34,610
I'm going to kick your ass in another
Tuesday. Now get out of here and quit
176
00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:36,110
acting like a damn little girl.
177
00:11:37,770 --> 00:11:38,850
Settle down, Viva.
178
00:12:03,020 --> 00:12:04,860
Um... Um... Hmm.
179
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:06,660
Is this a diaper commercial?
180
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:10,380
Uh... No, this is a douche commercial.
181
00:12:10,940 --> 00:12:14,140
Oh, yeah, yeah. Ah, that's funny.
Douche.
182
00:12:16,810 --> 00:12:18,790
What if douche, anyway? Like, how does
it work?
183
00:12:19,070 --> 00:12:20,510
Uh, I don't know.
184
00:12:21,190 --> 00:12:25,730
I think chicks use it, like, when they
get that not -so -fresh feeling.
185
00:12:25,950 --> 00:12:26,950
Oh, yeah, yeah.
186
00:12:27,350 --> 00:12:30,670
I think it helps them, like, go
horseback riding and, like, go down to
187
00:12:30,670 --> 00:12:31,970
and stuff like that, too. Yeah.
188
00:12:32,790 --> 00:12:35,230
I wonder how come they don't have a
douche for guys.
189
00:12:35,490 --> 00:12:36,490
Yeah, yeah, that would rule.
190
00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:40,330
It's like, sometimes, you know, I feel
like, you know, not -so -fresh.
191
00:12:40,970 --> 00:12:43,970
Well, maybe if you'd wash your butt once
in a while.
192
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,340
And I'm not talking about washing your
whole butt.
193
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:50,940
I'm talking about washing your butthole.
194
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:55,280
They just said you suck.
195
00:12:58,340 --> 00:12:59,800
No, they didn't. They said you suck.
196
00:13:00,740 --> 00:13:03,420
They ripped off my idea for a song.
197
00:13:03,780 --> 00:13:07,500
Yeah. And you, like, already ripped off
the idea for me, bunghole. Do you
198
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:10,560
remember what I told you about trying to
be funny?
199
00:13:11,780 --> 00:13:12,780
That I shouldn't?
200
00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:14,300
That's right.
201
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:16,220
Now sit there and shut up.
202
00:13:18,420 --> 00:13:19,420
Nutsack.
203
00:13:20,820 --> 00:13:24,340
Wait, wait, wait. I think I can see
something. I think I can see the side of
204
00:13:24,340 --> 00:13:28,200
boob. I think that's just a koala bear.
205
00:13:28,500 --> 00:13:29,500
Oh yeah, sorry.
206
00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:32,220
You know something?
207
00:13:32,460 --> 00:13:34,280
I wish these girls were naked.
208
00:13:35,020 --> 00:13:39,520
And I wish they were right here without
any clothes on.
209
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,760
And I wish I was grabbing their butt.
210
00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:47,920
Well, all right then.
211
00:13:47,970 --> 00:13:52,520
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