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1
00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:08,460
Well, class, this will be my last day as
your teaching assistant.
2
00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:12,120
I just wanted to say a few words of
goodbye to the young women here.
3
00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:17,260
This has been the most depressing
experience of my career.
4
00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:21,460
I have never encountered a more sexist
classroom.
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00:00:22,020 --> 00:00:27,320
I pity you and I fear for your futures.
That is why I am urging all of you young
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00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:31,100
females to join the Sisters of the
Highland Society for Women.
7
00:00:31,820 --> 00:00:35,140
We will be meeting at the community
center to discuss our plans to picket
8
00:00:35,140 --> 00:00:39,600
Cineplex 5, which continues to debase
womankind by promoting films featuring
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00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:42,060
actresses with breast augmentation.
10
00:00:42,700 --> 00:00:46,260
Hey, buddy, I think that chick up there
wants us.
11
00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:48,940
Yeah, probably.
12
00:00:49,820 --> 00:00:55,520
The kind of inspiring women who refuse
to prostitute themselves.
13
00:00:56,020 --> 00:00:58,020
Whoa, prostitutes.
14
00:00:59,530 --> 00:01:03,490
Those are like those chicks who do it
for money. Oh, yeah, yeah. That would be
15
00:01:03,490 --> 00:01:04,490
cool.
16
00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:08,590
Uh, hey, does that mean they do it for
money?
17
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:13,850
No. These women offer their services to
the community strictly for free.
18
00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:16,710
More there, dude.
19
00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,810
Uh, this sounds different.
20
00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:31,070
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was slower before.
21
00:01:31,410 --> 00:01:35,690
Yeah, and she was walking slower before,
too, and she had bigger hooters.
22
00:01:38,550 --> 00:01:45,350
You know, I sure would like to do
Madonna. Yeah, me
23
00:01:45,350 --> 00:01:48,170
too. I'd like to have sex with her.
24
00:01:48,610 --> 00:01:49,930
That would rule.
25
00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:52,060
Yeah, that's what I meant, too.
26
00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:54,840
Kick ass.
27
00:02:00,540 --> 00:02:05,100
Madonna looks pretty normal here. Yeah,
really.
28
00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:08,979
She just looks like a normal white
-haired old lady walking down the street
29
00:02:08,979 --> 00:02:09,839
get some groceries.
30
00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:11,460
You know what I'm saying? Uh, yeah.
31
00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:15,860
But for, you know, like an old white
-haired lady, she still looks pretty
32
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:17,260
Oh, yeah, no, no, I'd do her.
33
00:02:17,610 --> 00:02:19,990
Oh, yeah. I mean, I'd do her, yeah. I'm
not saying that.
34
00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:23,830
You'd do your old white -haired grandma
if you got the chance.
35
00:02:24,170 --> 00:02:25,089
No way, butthead.
36
00:02:25,090 --> 00:02:28,170
My grandma's got, like, brown kind of
purple hair.
37
00:02:28,390 --> 00:02:30,910
It's not white. Uh, oh, yeah.
38
00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:49,800
Shut up, bunghole.
39
00:02:51,220 --> 00:02:54,180
Madonna's always, like, masturbating
during her videos.
40
00:02:54,420 --> 00:02:57,200
Yeah, yeah, so am I, you know, during
her videos.
41
00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:02,320
Yeah, but, like, when she masturbates,
she's still doing it with Madonna.
42
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,860
When you spank your monkey, you're just
doing it with beaver.
43
00:03:06,500 --> 00:03:07,640
Little beaver.
44
00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:13,880
Boy, if I was Madonna, I would, like,
fondle my boobs constantly.
45
00:03:18,100 --> 00:03:24,880
And that is why we're also beginning a
grassroots
46
00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:30,940
campaign to change the spelling of the
word woman to W -O -M -Y -N.
47
00:03:31,610 --> 00:03:34,330
We're not just men plus two little
letters anymore.
48
00:03:39,550 --> 00:03:43,830
Hey, but isn't that sign spelled wrong?
49
00:03:45,230 --> 00:03:48,470
Cool. Stupid chicks really put out.
50
00:03:54,550 --> 00:04:00,050
Welcome to the Highland Society for
Women. Would you like to sign our
51
00:04:00,050 --> 00:04:01,050
list?
52
00:04:02,769 --> 00:04:05,430
Hey, did you know your sign is spelled
wrong?
53
00:04:08,710 --> 00:04:13,690
Well, look how many chicks there are,
butthead.
54
00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:16,130
That's cool.
55
00:04:16,329 --> 00:04:18,829
I didn't know this town had so many
sluts.
56
00:04:22,190 --> 00:04:25,910
I'd like to open the second half of
tonight's meeting of the Highland
57
00:04:25,910 --> 00:04:29,310
for Women by welcoming two important new
groups.
58
00:04:29,630 --> 00:04:33,350
The first is the Highland Sisterhood for
Militant Feminism.
59
00:04:34,550 --> 00:04:41,050
The second is two young non -women who
have joined us from Highland High. It is
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00:04:41,050 --> 00:04:45,630
encouraging to all of us that you have
decided to mend your ways and join us in
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00:04:45,630 --> 00:04:47,150
the fight against the patriarchy.
62
00:04:49,710 --> 00:04:51,850
But I think they want us.
63
00:04:52,390 --> 00:04:53,390
Yeah.
64
00:04:54,790 --> 00:04:55,990
We're going to score.
65
00:05:02,650 --> 00:05:06,550
Hey, bud, if these chicks, like, do it
for free, then how come there aren't any
66
00:05:06,550 --> 00:05:07,550
other guys here?
67
00:05:07,630 --> 00:05:11,690
Dammit, Beavis, we've got a room full of
chicks here who do it for free, and all
68
00:05:11,690 --> 00:05:13,950
you can think about is how come there
aren't more guys here?
69
00:05:15,410 --> 00:05:16,730
Yeah, yeah, how come?
70
00:05:18,310 --> 00:05:21,090
Beavis, I'm a little disappointed in
you.
71
00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:31,000
So, uh, you chicks want to, like, get it
on or something?
72
00:05:31,580 --> 00:05:34,020
We prefer to be referred to as women.
73
00:05:36,700 --> 00:05:41,060
So, uh, you, uh, women want to get it
on?
74
00:05:41,940 --> 00:05:42,940
Jerk!
75
00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:48,140
Wussy. You can't even score with chicks
who do it for free.
76
00:05:48,580 --> 00:05:52,640
No way, butthole. They were just playing
hard to get. It's supposed to, like,
77
00:05:52,660 --> 00:05:53,780
turn us on and stuff.
78
00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:55,080
Oh, yeah.
79
00:05:55,100 --> 00:05:56,100
It's working.
80
00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:57,980
Hey, buddy, check them out.
81
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:03,900
I am drawn to them, as if by a power
greater than my wiener.
82
00:06:10,180 --> 00:06:12,060
Women right now.
83
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:14,380
Women right now.
84
00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:17,380
So, um, do you want to do it?
85
00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:19,500
Ow!
86
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:20,680
Ah!
87
00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:25,460
Hey, buddy, what the hell's going on?
Ow! Damn it, Beavis, if you want to...
88
00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:27,460
You gotta be smooth, dumbass.
89
00:06:29,100 --> 00:06:30,880
Hey, baby.
90
00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:32,880
Hey, baby. Where are you?
91
00:06:38,300 --> 00:06:38,780
Oh,
92
00:06:38,780 --> 00:06:45,780
yeah.
93
00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:48,960
I've seen this video before.
94
00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:51,240
A chick squats later.
95
00:06:51,580 --> 00:06:52,580
You know.
96
00:06:53,230 --> 00:06:55,250
Really? Can you see some cheek?
97
00:06:57,910 --> 00:06:58,970
Oh, I don't know.
98
00:07:00,590 --> 00:07:05,350
I think this is the Jesus and Mary
chain.
99
00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:07,550
Quit cursing, buddy.
100
00:07:08,790 --> 00:07:10,730
I'm not. That's the name of the band,
Viva.
101
00:07:11,590 --> 00:07:13,230
Why would anybody name their band that?
102
00:07:13,770 --> 00:07:19,610
I mean, like, every time that you, like,
say the name of the band, you're like,
103
00:07:19,630 --> 00:07:21,940
um... Doing one of those, um, those
fins.
104
00:07:23,620 --> 00:07:24,620
Yeah.
105
00:07:25,620 --> 00:07:28,240
They're going to spend an eternity in
hell.
106
00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:37,360
But you're probably going to go to hell,
107
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:38,780
too, because you said the name of the
band.
108
00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:48,060
You know, this sounds exactly like that
song.
109
00:07:53,430 --> 00:07:54,430
Get it on.
110
00:07:54,650 --> 00:07:56,090
That's what it is. Get it on.
111
00:07:56,690 --> 00:07:57,690
Oh, yeah.
112
00:07:58,410 --> 00:07:59,410
Get it on.
113
00:07:59,750 --> 00:08:00,970
Bang your schlong.
114
00:08:01,750 --> 00:08:03,030
And then there's that other part.
115
00:08:03,430 --> 00:08:04,430
Get it on.
116
00:08:04,710 --> 00:08:05,790
Bang a schlong.
117
00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:08,250
With your dong.
118
00:08:09,930 --> 00:08:10,930
Yeah.
119
00:08:12,590 --> 00:08:13,590
Schlong.
120
00:08:16,210 --> 00:08:19,390
And as I stand.
121
00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:24,270
at the scene of the brutal beating of
two sex -crazed teenagers, I can only
122
00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:29,650
thank God that these brave feminists
have finally realized that the only way
123
00:08:29,650 --> 00:08:32,409
deal with male chauvinism is by
fanatical violence.
124
00:08:32,770 --> 00:08:33,770
Violence!
125
00:08:34,169 --> 00:08:38,250
Violence! Hey, beaver.
126
00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:42,340
When those chicks were kicking me, I,
like, touched their thingies.
127
00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:44,920
Me too.
128
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:48,100
And, like, one of them touched my nads
with her fist.
129
00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:50,340
It hurt, but it was still pretty cool.
130
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:52,600
Yeah.
131
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:57,080
We gotta go back. Next time I'm gonna
touch their butt.
132
00:09:10,270 --> 00:09:13,170
Whoa. This is that video that's like a
plane crash.
133
00:09:14,810 --> 00:09:21,090
If I was on a plane and it was crashing,
I'd just like run around screaming and
134
00:09:21,090 --> 00:09:22,850
stuff just to freak people out even
more.
135
00:09:24,110 --> 00:09:29,050
Wait a minute. I guess I'd try to like
find a chick to do it with me first.
136
00:09:29,950 --> 00:09:31,390
I forgot about that.
137
00:09:31,670 --> 00:09:32,670
Yeah.
138
00:09:33,610 --> 00:09:36,890
I'd go up to a chick and be like, uh,
excuse me.
139
00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:40,240
Do you mind if I use your butt for a
flotation device?
140
00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:46,900
Cool.
141
00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:50,860
They're all getting ready to crash.
142
00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:58,000
The stewardess is like, place your head
firmly between your knees and kiss your
143
00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:59,000
ass goodbye.
144
00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:06,920
You know, I'd like to try kissing my
ass, you know, but I'm afraid I'd end up
145
00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:07,920
sitting on my face.
146
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,200
How come you want to kiss your ass?
147
00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:14,800
I'd like to see what my bunghole looks
like.
148
00:10:16,140 --> 00:10:17,140
Go for it.
149
00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:18,640
Don't worry, I'll spot you.
150
00:10:19,900 --> 00:10:20,900
Okay, here.
151
00:10:30,090 --> 00:10:31,090
My teeth!
152
00:10:31,110 --> 00:10:32,110
Ow!
153
00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:36,710
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