All language subtitles for Abbott Elementary (2021) - S03E01-E02 - Career Day (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 Silence)

Yeah, what it do, camera crew?

Welcome back to the house that Ava
built. It's been a while. Y 'all ain't

anything. Hey, look who it is. It's been
like five months. How you doing?

Oh, what up? We still doing this? Yeah.

Oh, my God, you guys.

Hey. Oh, sorry.

Wow, you got new equipment. Look, I
don't want to say I told you so, but I

Y 'all should have listened to Jacob and
made a right on 30th Street instead of

left that night.

You want me to tell you what happened to
you?

Oh, right. Tell the people.

So they got robbed because they thought
it'd be cute to walk around West Philly

at night with all this camera equipment.

Hell, I'd have helped rob you if I was
there.

Anyway, here we are five months later
because that's how long it takes for

people with art degrees to save up for
new cameras.

Welcome back.

It's career day today.

Unfortunately.

Ava!

Not planning on being conscious for
career day? This is a district

They can handle it.

Anyone else feel like the people from
the district have been more annoying

usual? They're not all bad.

I think they're cool.

I actually like them this year.

Shocking. I don't know. I feel like
they've been unequivocally and

worse than they've ever been.

From unhelpful to unbearable.

Good morning, Abbott Elementary.

Good morning, Abbott Elementary.

So, yeah, I work for the school district
now.

You guys missed a lot.

Left or right?

Left. Thank you. Good choice.

Good choice.

Girl, this development day has me
developing a migraine.

Let me have one of those aspirins,
please.

It's a sleeping pill.

Wake me if there's a fire, a tornado, or
a volcanic eruption.

Good day to the fine teachers of Abbott
Elementary.

What? No comment about Gregory being F
-O -I -N -F -O -I -N. No, Ms. Chimenti,

was speaking to everyone.

But since all eyes are on him, Mr. Eddy,
would you mind reading from the first

paragraph of your immaculately assembled
binder?

Sexily?

Excuse me? That is not only suggestive,
but highly inappropriate in front of our

company.

Hi. Hi, everybody. We're from the school
district.

Principal Coleman invited us to come,
observe, and collaborate with you all on

this development day.

Yes, the importance of collaboration is
one of the many things I learned while I

was matriculating at Cambridge.

Yep, I went to Harvard this summer.

I sat right there on their campus and I
used their free Wi -Fi to get my degree

in education via Education Connection.
And I've learned what it actually takes

to do the job of principal. And it turns
out I've been doing it all wrong.

Somebody should have told me.

Anyway, now I'm engaged and alert by the
book.

Oh, yeah, I like books now.

We're super excited to be here on behalf
of the new superintendent, John

Reynolds. I'm Manny.

That's my dream team over there. That's
Emily. That's Simon.

And we don't come empty handed. We come
with some iPads and smart boards for

your classrooms loaded with learning
apps.

New and improved models.

Same old engines.

These people aren't going to change a
blessed thing except how many bodies are

in the room. And we'll see you around.

Thank you.

We still need you to read from Section A
there in your binder.

Section A, welcome back.

That concludes Section A.

Thank you, Mr. Eddy. You may be seated.

Ask the teachers if they have any ideas
from over the summer they'd like to

implement. Try to make it fun.

Does anyone have any ideas from over the
summer that they'd like to implement?

Janine, one of our most.

Teacher, is that Abbott? So I was
thinking over the summer while I was

time with myself and just thinking about
what really led me to this point in my

life. A career day? I think we should do
a career day at the school because I

checked and we haven't had one since the
only jobs for women were typists, moms,

and wet nurses.

I think it would be a great way for the
kids to see all the amazing jobs they

can have.

That's it. That's my idea. I'm done.
Career day. I could go into the plethora

reasons that won't work.

Scheduling, previous failed attempts,
the fact that it was your idea. Right,

there is a way. But I'm just going to go
ahead and say no and save you the

embarrassment. You know, this is my
fourth year teaching here, and I've

lot of time trying to fight the odds.

So I've just decided to just be a good
teacher, you know?

Take a page out of Barb's book, just do
what I can.

And maybe start wearing pearls.

Hey, Janine, right?

I'm Manny.

Which I'd set up there. I just wanted to
say that Career Day sounded good. It's

a good idea.

I would love to hear more. Thank you.

So you guys are new at the district?

Yep, just started over the summer.
Loving it so far. I feel like we're

make a lot of positive changes and do
what the last administration didn't.

Nobody embezzling funds on my watch.

Love that.

Actually, one of the things we wanted to
do today was shadow a teacher.

Can we shadow you?

Yeah, sure. I'm just going to be sitting
at my classroom.

Exciting? It is exciting.

Yeah. I'm just going to grab my co
-workers. They're tucking in Principal

Coleman over there. You guys are so
lucky. You have such a good principal.

Yes.

A little early for this, no?

For Christmas, maybe. To watch you lift
heavy stuff in that shirt?

Never. This thing?

Well, it is husband material.

Speaking of which, did you hear about
Mr. Morton? What?

He eloped over the summer. Vegas?

Hershey Park.

Classy. Wow.

You approve of that. But I bring up
marriage, and I get a ha -ha -ha. Yeah,

yeah, all right. You just concentrate on
getting that mini -fridge next to an

outlet. Boyfriend brings it in the room.

A husband sets it near an outlet. Well,
a booty call will put it down wherever I

want him to, so don't make me go find
one. Ha -ha -ha.

So, where'd you teach before pivoting to
the school district?

I didn't, actually. But I grew up here,
though. My first -hand experience is

more from when I was a student in the
area.

Oh, all right.

Well, you know, that's one of the
reasons I wanted to teach at Abbott,

was a student in the area as well. So,
this is my room.

What are you making here?

Oh, welcome back sign for the kids.

We're going to decorate it together so
that everyone feels included.

I try to implement a lot of color. I
wanted to go with blue because that

inspires focus.

And calm, which is so important for
primary classes. I read about that in

Chalkbeat. You read Chalkbeat? Mm -hmm.

I basically live in the comment section.
Oh, my God. Are you at JT215?

Yes. And at JT267 when I want to spice
up the discourse.

Ms. Teagues, I'm at Manny from the
block. I'm always using this emoji.

you. That's me. I love your comments. I
love your comments.

Anyway, I wanted to paint the walls blue
last year, but you guys, the district,

didn't like the idea of painting walls.
What? Why not? That is so good. I think

that's exactly an idea that we could and
should implement.

It's a low -stakes, high -reward
improvement.

Yes, let's revisit that.

Are you okay? Yeah. It's just a lot of
positive reinforcement.

Ava, I've already told you I'm not
interested in auditioning for the Golden

Bachelorette. Gerald is still very much
alive.

Actually, I'm here about your desk.

When I was at Harvard, I learned that
communal seating is better for

kindergartners' development.

Well, I like my desk separated.

It's easier for me to move about the
cabin.

I'm little Jonathan, and I never learned
how to make... Direct eye contact with

anyone. And so, now they call me Shifty
Eye Johnny, and I can't hold down a job.

All right.

I will take that into account, if I
must.

You must.

District mandate.

Mandate? And curriculum is no longer in
the curriculum.

Hey, fancy meeting you here.

I'm just bringing in the workbooks. Oh,
there is a 10 for 10 sale at Nickel

School Supply, by the way. Oh, yeah.

Trying out cursing, still getting the
hang of it. How was Baltimore?

Um, it was good. Yeah, it was good. I
did a really cool job with my dad

the grounds crew for the Orioles.

I laid a patch of Kentucky bluegrass
right by home plate. It was so flat.

What'd you do over the break?

I just spent a lot of time with myself.

And it was good for me. I feel sure,
centered, good.

Oh, and Jacob, Eric, and I started going
out to brunch together.

We're calling ourselves the Brunchy
Bunch. Why not just the Brunch Bunch?

That's good.

It's just not working for me, is it? Not
quite there. Hey, Teacher of the Year,

Gregory Eddy. I heard about that garden
you made out front. Really cool, man.

Oh, thanks.

I like to do it, and it makes the school
and the street look good. Sure does.

Uh, Miss Teach.

Could I speak with you quick, one -on
-one? Sorry to interrupt.

No, all good. Yeah, sure.

And you can call me Janine. Okay,
Janine. Yeah.

So, I was talking with the others from
the school district.

You seem to have a ton of great ideas.

There's this fellowship, the Robeson
Fellowship, at the district. We want

somebody with infield experience to come
enhance what the district can do to

make schools as efficient as possible.

That sounds like a great opportunity.

Yeah, I can help you find somebody for
that.

Well, no, I had you in mind for it.

Oh.

I'm flattered, but, you know, the summer
is when I get a little bit of a break

away from school. This would be during
the school year.

But that's when I'm doing the schooling.

Yes, well, a sub would take over your
class while you're with us for the

duration of the fellowship.

Sorry, but no.

I can't imagine being away from my
students, so I'm flattered, but no thank

Okay. All right.

Just give it some thought, okay?

You could help make some real change.
Painted walls are just the start.

Just forced.

Oh.

Oh, Janine, check out this video I'm
going to show the kids. Common doing a

spoken word poem about the Korean War.
Oh, that's not spoken word. He's just

rapping acapella. No, tomato, tomato.

Hey, what do you think about these new
district people?

Oh, I like him.

Ooh, I saw you talking to that cute guy,
Manny. What's his deal?

He's no Gregory, my king, my guy. No,
no, no, no. It wasn't like that. You

he's just asking me to do something.

Work at the district for a little while.
Something about a fellowship.

Oh, my God. The Robeson Fellowship?

This is a huge deal, Janine.

They asked you? Why didn't they ask me?

Manny can sense my allegiance to
Gregory, I bet. Jacob. You should do it,

Janine. You can make a real difference.

I can't be away from my classroom for
that long.

I'm going to cry just thinking about it.

You actually are crying.

Jacob. It's video contraband. Not
allowed in this school.

What? Why?

It's not curriculum.

But our textbooks are so old, Ava.
According to these books, we still

even pulled out of a rock yet. You know,
one of the first things I learned when

I was physically located within the
legal property lines of Harvard is that

teachers are required to stick to
curriculum for student safety and school

protection.

Wait, that's my personal computer.

You can't do that.

Did it.

Welcome back. Birthday of school.

All right, get in line, kids.

Single file line.

Tuck them shirts in. No talking.

Boy, you're lucky.

Last year's Ava would have roasted you
for looking like Adam Sandler at a

game.

Adam Sandler at a wedding.

Adam Sandler at the Oscars.

Now go to class.

Good morning.

Welcome, welcome.

Welcome, you guys.

All right.

Hey. Hi.

You want to sit here?

I don't bite. I'm a steed.

What's your name? Alex. Alex. Nice to
meet you.

All right, you guys.

Welcome to second grade. You made it.

Let me just say, it's really cool you
guys get to be the first to use our

new iPads.

These are old.

Brand new iPads to us.

Because Avid Elementary is on the
forefront of cutting -edge technology.

My iPad is dead.

Okay.

All right, that's okay. How about we
just have you guys share with them?

This one's on 7%. All right, we can just
charge them while we work.

And we only have two chargers.

Did you see the cherry ring pop Gary
left in the vending machine?

Gosh, he is too much. A girl is sending
you signals.

He's just joking. You know how men joke
about that stuff all the time? No, I do

not. I do not know of one man who would
ask his girlfriend's friend for her

correct ring size as a joke. He'd
probably like getting me a Super Bowl

ring or something.

Okay. Ava is literally gatekeeping when
I can use the garden. She put a padlock

on my kumquats.

She is making me rearrange the seating
in my classroom, throwing off decades of

good educational feng shui. She made me
replace my mop water. But the best stuff

is like a side door starter.

Thought it is a better guess.

All right, let's relax.

Ava is finally the principal she is
supposed to be, so I say we give her a

Just like we give this new whole grain
tofu spot a shot for lunch today,

it's my pick. Who's ready to get anti
-oxidated?

Great news, everyone.

There are no more free periods.

Instead, everyone will be volunteering
for lunch duty, home monitoring, library

management, et cetera, at all times.

Well, at least we can still enjoy our
lunches.

Oh, and no more off -campus lunches.
It's against policy.

She must be stopped.

Yeah, the library to librarian ratio is
troubling, but nothing we can't fix.

Listen, speaking of, could you look into
getting a McFlurry machine for my

classroom? Because the McFlurry machine
to classroom ratio, that's also way off.

We can't do that.

Typical.

Hey, Manny. Hey. Hey. So you said to
mention ideas, and I think I have one.

Okay. Love the iPads that you gave us.

But I was just thinking it would be cool
if we had more chargers for charging.

You know, like three or four or seven.
Or eight. Hey, you said it, not me.

Guys, we should make sure that we have
enough chargers for the iPads in all the

classrooms. Yes.

Yeah.

And I'm just throwing this out there
that, you know, leapfrog tablets could

better. Oh, yes.

They're built for student use, more cost
efficient.

Right. And they haven't changed their
cords in years. See, that's why I knew

you'd be a great fit for the fellowship.

I know that you don't want to be away
from your class. So would it help if I

told you that you would get to be at
Abbey once or even twice a week?

Really? Yeah. The fellowship is built so
that you stay on the ground with a

pilot school where you can still hear
from all your teachers and test out all

your new ideas.

Well, that's nice to hear.

And I don't want to sound money hungry,
but is there a pay raise?

Two dollars. Two dollars? That's like a
million dollars.

Well... Hey, we don't make this offer
just to any teacher, okay? You got a

for doing this.

Yeah, and if she says no, you gotta find
somebody else, right?

And if it's about diversity, let me tell
you that I am queer.

It's not.

I'm fun to be around.

Hi there.

Everything okay?

Oh, fine, fine.

Just trying to move these desks the way
you people want them. Can we help you?

No, I don't have the time to file the
paperwork just to move a desk.

No, I can help you lift the desk.

The legendary Mrs. Howard. I haven't had
a chance to connect with you yet, but I

hear you're the one.

Charmed.

We're actually working on a program to
get assistance in the classroom at the

beginning of the school year instead of
you having to request one that doesn't

get here until January. Thank you. I do
not need a whole song and dance, and

thank you for your help.

You don't trust us, do you?

Honestly, no.

I've seen many versions of you walk
through that door, all with nice smiles

appearing to care. Mrs. Howard, I get
it. I know what this district was, and I

am aware of how I come off, but I don't
know any other way to be.

I started working at the district
because I saw that it needed to change

students like the student that I was,
for teachers like you, and for teachers

like my mom.

Your mom's an educator?

She was.

And before she retired, I listened to
her complain about the district every

single year for 20 years.

I just wanted to make the job easier for
her.

So I can't make you trust me, but I'm
not going to stop trying to make the job

easier. And that goes for me and my
team.

It was a pleasure, Mrs. Allen.

Yeah, I'm talking to you, Mrs. Miller,
Mr. Minty, ponytail guy.

Yeah, that's right. I got cameras all
over this place.

Just to make sure we're always working
to make Abbott a brighter place.

Well, we made a plan to solve this Ava
problem.

We need to, like, reset her. We look for
a button. There wasn't one. So we

decided to tempt her with things we know
she loves. First, money. We sent Jacob

in looking incredibly scammable.

Second, her love of skipping work. In
this case, for an usher show.

Nothing has worked so far. So now we're
pulling out the big guns.

Ready?

No. Oh, come on. We cannot stand any
more of this new Ava. And unfortunately,

you are a very powerful tool. Tool?
You're literally objectifying me.

Objects don't talk.

Bro, dog, do you want to continue to
live under this new regime?

No. Then you know what we must do.

Take it off. Take off the sweater. I'm
sure there's no other way. Hush, roll up

a sleeve, and tastefully welcome her to
the gun show. And lean against the door

frame. You know how.

Can I help you with something?

Well, it depends.

All these rules are so hard and rigid.

Well, here's a rule.

Put your arms away, Jeremy Allen Black.

This is a school.

Please.

Okay, look.

We need old Ava back.

Mm -hmm. Well, she's dead and gone.

I leave now.

I communicate.

I haven't listened to the city girls in
months.

This is who I am now.

Well, I guess this is just life now. If
Gregory's arms didn't work, nothing

will. Oh, no.

There's one card we can play, but we're
going to have to go low.

Nay, get low.

Hey, Barbara.

Hey.

Oh, you changed your desk.

Mandate.

These new district people, they smile in
your face and tell you your ideas are

good, but they suck, right?

You know, I can't believe I'm going to
say this, but...

I actually have hope for this new group.
I think they can make change.

Seriously? Wow. I was really hoping for
a Barbara Bummer.

And what would that be?

It's when you tell me everything's trash
and that people are useless and I

shouldn't have hope. Besides the fact
that I have never said any of that, I've

had a change of heart.

I think this new group, there's
something there.

Something genuine.

What? They offered me a fellowship.

This thing where I can go work at the
district and help them bring big ideas

life for all of Philly schools. And I
turned it down.

Well, you don't seem happy you turned it
down.

I've been doing this for three years
now, and I finally got it in my brain

you just have to accept the things you
can't change.

Just be.

Just be a good teacher.

Stop dreaming, I guess.

Dreamers are the only people that can
bring about a different reality.

Do you really want this fellowship?

Maybe. Sweetheart, you know that you
still have Abbott to come home to when

ends.

And now, if you will excuse me, I've got
to go save the school.

What?

Ava, you're needed in the gym. Yeah,
there's a bunch of teachers in there

Princeton's better than Harvard.

Oh, hell no!

Okay, we have like two minutes, so can
you please fill us in on the rest of

genius plan? Ava said she stopped
listening to the town women. But I know

there's one song she cannot resist.

Jacob, whip out the Walkman. Open up
Napster.

Jesus, close your ears.

Come on.

Prison is the temple university of the
Ivies!

Now, Mr.

Johnson! Let go of your butts!

No. Not today, Juvenile.

I bet y 'all.

So, Ava, can we have our free periods
back now?

Y 'all can do whatever you want.

Mr. Johnson, buy my ring light. I'm
about to be on IG Live all day.

Go, Ava.

Go, Ava. So it turns out the only thing
worse than Ava being an awful principal

is Ava being a good one. You should have
been there, Jenny, and we tried

everything to get her back. Gregory even
flexed his muscles.

You flexed?

Yeah.

Well, did you guys try just playing back
that ass up? How did you know to do

that? Wow, you really are district
material.

Oh,

so Manny offered me a fellowship at the
district.

And I'm like 80 -20 on doing it. So
you'd leave at it?

Well, yeah, but not permanently.

Well, I am happy for you. And jealous
and sad. I'm emotional, which calls for

shots. Can you see about my cheese
fries, please?

Wow, well.

Congrats.

But I haven't made my mind up yet. Just
haven't decided.

Look, you'd be perfect for it.

What? What?

What?

No, it's great. It really is. It's just,
it'd be weird you not being at Abbott.

Yeah. It's a fantastic opportunity.

But, I don't know, when I think of
Abbott, I think of you. And when I think

you, I think of Abbott.

Yeah. No, I know.

And I'm going to miss my students.

I'm going to miss my classroom.

I'm going to miss knocking on that wall
to chat.

I'm going to miss that, too.

You're really going to leave us?

Happy career day, Ava.

There's no such thing as a happy career.

It's a work as to lose in life.

Good to have her back.

Oh, no, no, no, no. You haven't missed
anything.

Nothing is weird with Gregory.

I basically just decided to go work with
the district, and, you know, Gregory

and I are good.

Me and Janine?

Yeah, no, we're fine.

It's just nothing weird.

Oh, hell yeah, something weird is going
on between Gregory and Janine. They

ain't tell you.

Well, lucky for y 'all, my hidden
cameras picked up everything.

Y 'all gonna love this.

Hey. Hey.

That was a fun hang the other night,
right?

It was. I really liked that place.

Me too.

But you think the camera crew got home
safe, though, right?

I mean, we did tell them it was a rough
area.

Yeah, I'm sure they're fine. They're
probably all just sick or something.

What are the chances they all got
robbed?

Hey, so I was thinking about the field
trip from last year to the museum.

And particularly the part where you told
me that you had feelings for me.

And I had some too, I guess.

And I basically still have those
feelings.

I realized it at the bar.

Yeah.

So, I don't know, I was wondering if
maybe, what if now we...

Could try to explore that. Try to, I
don't know.

Wow.

Definitely didn't see that coming. I
know.

Me either.

Honestly, Janine, in my mind, I had kind
of put a period on that.

Out of respect.

Yeah.

I mentally moved on, and it seemed like
that was kind of the right thing to do,

so I did.

Right. I mean, just so you know, I
wasn't saying we should never.

Okay, yeah, no, but, like, you know,
even once you change your mind right

it just feels like it would be safer for
both of us if we were

just friends.

Yeah, definitely.

Because I really value what we have, and
I don't want this to get old. You know

what I mean? I get it. I really do. I
understand.

Okay. Safer is better.

Safe is great. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay.

Look at Janine's face.

She mad?

Good morning, everyone.

We are so excited. And let me just tell
you, this isn't your mother's career

day. No, it's not.

Though we're sure all your mothers have
vibrant professional careers. Yeah, if

they so choose.

The main goal of this fellowship is
piloting new programs and initiatives

the entire district.

Which is why I've spent the last four
months making sure that Career Day is a

fresh and impactful experience for
students, staff, and professionals all

this great city. All over. It's major.

Yeah. Connections will be made. Dreams
will be born. Wow. The needs will be

quiet. Okay.

So, for you, Mrs. Murphy, an
anesthesiologist.

For Mrs. Howard, a licensed
cosmetologist.

Oh, lovely.

Cosmetology is quite lucrative these
days. A zoologist for my class.

Sorry? I mean the substitute, Miss Lee's
class. I don't like animals.

Well, the students will love it.

So, Mr. Minty, we have a marketing
professional.

Who? From the Philadelphia Eagles.

Yes! Hell yes!

What about me? Tell me I got him.
Please, please, please.

Yes, Jacob, as requested, you have Mr.
Johnson. Yes!

He's had, like, every job under the sun.
Very useful in today's gig economy.

Oh, the places will go.

And for Mr.

Eddie, you'll have a botanist from the
Longwood Gardens.

Cool. Thank you, Ms. Teagues.

Okay.

Hey, Gary. I thought you restocked the
vending machines yesterday.

Oh, I'm here to dispense more than just
high sodium. Yeah, he's here for career

day. This man has got a 401K.

It's all in quarters, but hey.

Money's money.

I'm really loving career day, though.
I'm hoping that cosmetologist will do my

nails also.

Oh, maybe she could do your nails, too.
You never know when you're going to need

a ring photo.

I'm just teasing. Just teasing.

Yeah, I know, because you love to make
these little jokes.

Yeah, just checking in that we're on the
same page because, like, Gary, you know

I don't want to get married again,
right?

Like, I did it before and I don't want
to do it again. Yeah, I got you. Okay,

okay, just because I want us to be
clear, all right? So it would take,

miracle for me to want to get hitched
again. All right. Okay. Again.

All right, like an absolute friggin'
miracle.

Thank you all so much for coming. It
means a lot to the kids to be able to

all the different career possibilities.

We cannot pay you enough. You're paying
us nothing.

And I assure you that any amount would
not be enough.

Oh, I can't believe it's finally here.
All these weeks of work for one day.

I can't blow this.

If I mess this up, the district won't
let me pitch anything else.

That's right.

Yeah, I tanked the rollout for electric
school buses, and I haven't been allowed

to speak in a meeting since.

It's going to be great.

Okay, this is you.

Hey.

Hi.

Oh,

and this just gets harder and harder
because they go crazy for me.

Hey, guys.

They get tired after lunch. It's 8 .30.

I don't think it... I see why they're
being weird. She put the date on the

bottom of the board instead of the top.
Classic mistake.

I made you.

What do you think you're doing?

Oh, I was going to put the date at the
top of the board. I like my dates at the

bottom. And I like to fight.

Territorial behavior.

Pretty common in the wild.

Yes, you see that in the kingdom all the
time.

Now, let's see those cheetahs.

I did not bring any cheetahs. Okay,
let's see a cheetah.

I brought a fake sloth.

Really? That's what you brought?

So what I do is make a little palm tree
on the forehead, then a straight line

down my nose all the way to the cupid's
bow area.

Mrs. Howard, if you're interested, you
can find my tutorials on Instagram and

TikTok. No, I've been doing my makeup
now for well over 30 years.

And you look fantastic.

But maybe some face contouring and some
underpainting will take you to the next

level. Maybe that would be all right.

When you put these two kinds of fruit
trees close together, that can lead

Cross -pollination.

Sorry, I was just trying to help. You
know, this summer I was... Work with the

Orioles grounds crew.

Yeah. You mentioned it several times.

Were you the guy that got caught under
the tarp?

Kentucky bluegrass is slippery.

Well, at this point in my story, you may
be asking yourself, how did you get

elected to the state Senate?

Yes, I was asking myself that. Well,
it's real simple. You see, the incumbent

passed away right before the election.

Everybody would just vote for him when
they saw his name.

Just so happens that this man's name was
also Mr.

Johnson. I got myself on the ballot and
the rest is history.

Anyway, I served three terms and we won
the Cold War.

So then I come over here and I create a
hyperlink, which I then put in an email

that I blast to our platinum members.

And then comes the fun part.

We wait.

This guy does not look like an eagle.

Hey, pipe down. He could be a punter if
you wanted to. Go ahead. Thank you. No,

you know, that's okay. It happens all
the time.

That's why I've arranged a special guest
to come say hi to everyone.

Think you might like him more than me?

Well, I mean, if we start a database,
then there's no reason not to do career

day in every school across the city. And
if we're short on volunteers, we can

get vocational schools to send students
over for credit. That is brilliant.

Hey, why did you invite me here just to
speak to an empty classroom?

All the kids left, the teacher left. I
just brought my fake sloth for nothing.

What? Yeah.

Whoa, whoa. Hey, guys, no running.

Ain't no running.

Ava, what is going on?

The world's finest starting quarterback
is here. Everybody move.

What?

Excuse me.

Oh, my God.

Hey, little girl. Look at you all
dressed up for career day.

Good one, Jalen Hurts.

Melissa, how is Jalen Hurts on your
screen right now? Because sometimes God

favorites, Janine.

America's Sweetheart is here thanks to
that boat you're wearing here or over

there. It's an absolute freaking
miracle.

Do we get to talk to Jalen, too?

I don't think Jalen Hurts is going to be
able to stay.

Career Day blows.

This makes you want to never work.

All right, that's dramatic.

Dang it, Eagles marketing guy, why'd you
have to go above and beyond?

Why can't you just bring Eagles pencils
or something?

Jay, since we only have but so much time
together, I was wondering, what do you

dream about at night?

That I'm the prince of the underwater
kingdom of Atlantis.

Hey, I got a crazy favor to ask you.

I got it. I got it.

Let's call an audible. We'll get the
video link set up in every classroom.

we'll take the kids back to the rooms
with their teachers. We get Jalen to

to everybody at once. And we've got
eight charged iPads now, so that

be a problem. Now that's a great play.

Ready for kickoff. Oh my gosh. District
on three?

Absolutely. Okay. One, two, three.

and the people around you and have fun
with them as well. Hey, Jalen, you might

remember me from earlier, Janine Teagues
from the district. Do you think you can

give us like 10 minutes so we can put
you in every classroom?

For the kids, I got all the time in the
world. As long as it's wrapped up in 10

minutes, I got to get to practice.

Thank you. Your face is incredible.

Oh my gosh, that could have been a mess,
but we found a solution.

No kids or professionals feel left out
and Jalen meets every class.

Efficient after all, as the girls say.

I ate that.

I consumed it.

Thank you to everyone who took the time
out of their day to be here. After

football, I have to start another
career, so I wish I had been there to

other professionals talk.

Now, before I go, there's a special
someone who wants to propose because

this love feels like a first down, and
he wants to be in the end zone of your

heart. Let's touch down on our future
together.

Is Jalen Hurts proposing to me?

I don't think so.

You said it would take a miracle.

And there's no clearer sign than me
being able to get Jalen Hurts to be part

the proposal.

So I'm throwing a Hail Mary.

Melissa and Katerina Schimetti.

Will you marry me?

No.

Damn. They usually say yes.

Babe, why not?

Hey man, you're late for practice.

What's happening?

He just asked me to ask her to marry
him, and she said no.

Another proposal?

Jalen, you gotta say no to this kind of
stuff.

Boundaries. You know my boundaries,
porous as hell.

I really thought we had a great thing.
It has been great, really.

It has, but I just, here, I don't want
to get married again.

And I told you this, like, a lot.

I know. I just thought if the perfect
moment ever came around, and then

Jalen freaking Hurts is talking to your
class. I mean, hey, guys, I think maybe

you should take this outside because
everyone's watching, and I don't think

want that. Yeah, okay, class.

Mr. Menji's going to step outside for a
sec. Guys, watch him, okay?

Oh, you guys don't have to do that.
Heads down, thumbs up. Time to play 7

Actually, listen, have you ever
considered teaching?

Uh, you're hiring?

I mostly work on Sundays.

That's really funny.

What do we do now?

You really want to get married.

I really want to get married.

And you deserve that.

But, Garrett, I'll never get married
again.

I don't need to be convinced this is my
truth.

Maybe the best thing for both of us.

It's not each other.

So, we're breaking up?

I hate to say it, but I think so.

I'm okay.

I'll be alright.

Even though I feel like a zero right
now.

Well, honey, you're not a zero.

You're a Philly 11.

So the bald guy was on his knee, right?

And Mr. Minty's like, not today.

She's back, she's back. Sit down.

We just want to say, we think it's cool
you trusted your gut.

You're cold, but you're bold.

And as a man with an all -woman
management team, I support a woman's

stand up for what she wants or doesn't
want.

Get to practice, you guys.

All right, now.

Bye, Jalen Hurts.

I mean, it could have been worse, right?

I think now we know. We lay some ground
rules, right? No football players. No

football at all, to be safe. No
proposals. What are you doing in here?

Oh. Um, Ava hasn't given me any office
space.

Well, this is my mom's office, and we're
about to have an important meeting.

Hey, guys, I am so sorry about that.
Sorry about what?

That was a mess.

It wasn't streamlined at all. I know
that's the key to the district picking

these things. Jalen Hurts was here.

That alone makes this event a success.

The kids loved it. Anybody can execute
under perfect circumstances. You know

to improvise.

Well, I do watch a lot of Whose Line Is
It Anyway?

It's usually Wayne Brady's.

Right? I know.

Ooh, this look is a slay, Mrs. Howard.

It's giving grade A baddie.

Well, period to that.

I could never do this on my own every
day, but it's nice to see what I could

look like. Thank you.

Oh.

Gerald?

Honey, grab your gaiters because we are
going out tonight because Mama looks

good, baby.

Okay, let's keep some order.

That'll be it.

Okay, really think about the career you
want to pursue.

Also, remember, superhero, not really a
career.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. How do you feel about your first
career day?

Oh, you know, it was actually good.

The kids loved it. Well, you should feel
really great about it. And that

botanist that you brought in taught me
how to use borage as a cover crop to

improve the soil. We're about to have
some of the richest radishes in Philly.

I'm sorry.

You just are the only person I know that
gets this excited about radishes.

Well, it's one of the only foods that I
love. It's dry, bitter.

It's perfect. Yeah, I know.

Your fave.

I miss this.

Chatting about our days.

Oh, my God. Me, too.

So much. Like, anytime anything happens
here, I want to tell you about it.

Really? Yes.

Like, earlier with Melissa and Gary, she
said no to him in front of the Eagles.

I just wanted to tell you immediately.

Okay. Because the vibes were just off.
Yeah, it was weird.

I was kind of just giving you your
space.

I noticed that.

Why?

I thought our conversation was the
reason why you left.

Oh, my God.

No.

No, no, no, no.

I really respected what you said.

I only left because I wanted to try
working for the district. That was it.

Well, that's good to hear.

Okay.

So I heard you got caught under a tarp.

What, do you have, like, a Google alert
for me?

No, I have a Google alert for
humiliating tarp incidents.

Hmm.

Don't you have a lot of work to do with
the district?

Right when I thought I was finally a
made man, they had the audacity to try

whack me.

Can you believe that? So after making
short work of those goons, I left

officially became an American citizen,
and landed here.

I tried about 400 careers until I picked
up this mop and never looked back.

I still can't look at Tortellini the
same.

Anyway, janitorial work is self
-explanatory.

You see me around, you know what I do.

Delicious. And a bottle of hot water.