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1
00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:15,013
Let's just get this started.
2
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,548
Are you kidding me?
3
00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:17,882
Who's a good cat?
4
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:31,229
Today, we're at the college of
new jersey playing med students
5
00:00:31,231 --> 00:00:33,766
Getting a real evaluation
to assess our
6
00:00:33,968 --> 00:00:36,301
Professionalism
in a doctor/patient setting.
7
00:00:36,503 --> 00:00:38,637
And we're being evaluated
by professional actors
8
00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:40,572
Who will assume the role
of our patient.
9
00:00:40,574 --> 00:00:42,707
We'll have to do and
say what the other guys tell us.
10
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,442
And at the end of the session,
11
00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:46,244
The patient will give us
a rating from one to 10.
12
00:00:46,246 --> 00:00:48,380
Whoever has
the lowest score loses.
13
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,315
Cough.
14
00:00:50,317 --> 00:00:51,249
Not good.
15
00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:57,255
Alright, murr.
16
00:00:57,257 --> 00:00:58,791
Hello. Hi.
How are you?
17
00:00:58,993 --> 00:01:00,325
Hi.
Oh, gosh.
18
00:01:00,327 --> 00:01:01,393
What happened to you?
Let me --
19
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:02,727
Oh, my goodness.
20
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:04,596
That's from
a car accident I had.
21
00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:05,864
So this woman
wasn't really hurt.
22
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,265
This is makeup.
23
00:01:07,467 --> 00:01:08,533
This is a training mission.
24
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:09,801
Murr:
You were in a car accident.
25
00:01:09,804 --> 00:01:11,269
About a week ago.
Yeah.
26
00:01:11,471 --> 00:01:13,205
Would you do? You cracked your
fotcha on the steering wheel?
27
00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:14,606
Did you crack --
crack your fotch --
28
00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:16,408
You -- you cracked your fotcha
on the steering wheel.
29
00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:17,810
Is that what caused
the bruising?
30
00:01:18,012 --> 00:01:20,012
I don't know what a fotch is.
Your fotcha, your face.
31
00:01:20,014 --> 00:01:23,081
You cracked your fotcha?
No, I didn't do that. Um...
32
00:01:24,951 --> 00:01:27,151
So -- so what caused
the abrasion?
33
00:01:27,154 --> 00:01:29,954
So then what caused --
emma, what caused the abrasion?
34
00:01:29,956 --> 00:01:33,225
Well... Oh, I guess I did hit
the steering wheel.
35
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:36,028
And that's what
it looks like now?
36
00:01:36,030 --> 00:01:38,030
Uh...
37
00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:42,034
The balloon --
the -- the balloon didn't
38
00:01:42,036 --> 00:01:43,235
come out
of your steering wheel.
39
00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:44,903
The balloon.
The...
40
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,238
So the hot air balloon
didn't deploy?
41
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,041
Yeah, so the -- the -- the
hot air balloon
42
00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:51,443
Didn't deploy?
It wasn't an hot air balloon.
43
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:52,444
What was it?
44
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:53,978
Keep it together,
you idiot.
45
00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:55,513
I don't mean to laugh
at you fotcha.
46
00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:56,848
It was...
47
00:01:58,318 --> 00:01:59,451
Sal: The airbag.
The airbag.
48
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,119
Just the image of a balloon,
it was the airbag.
49
00:02:01,321 --> 00:02:02,587
You mean the airbag?
Airbag. Thank you.
50
00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:04,188
Airbag.
You said balloon.
51
00:02:04,191 --> 00:02:05,990
It was very...
52
00:02:06,192 --> 00:02:07,325
Murry.
53
00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:08,727
I'm not worried
about my face.
54
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:10,595
It's like -- I'm
so motion sickness.
55
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,997
Okay.
You're so motion sickness?
56
00:02:15,335 --> 00:02:17,335
I, my --
I'm off balance.
57
00:02:17,537 --> 00:02:20,805
Okay, so you said
you're so motion sickness?
58
00:02:21,007 --> 00:02:23,608
Yes.
Sal: Yeah, okay. Okay.
59
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,477
Murry.
60
00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:28,012
I can't. I'm sorry.
I got to compose myself.
61
00:02:28,214 --> 00:02:30,682
One second, emma.
Let me check the charts.
62
00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,821
Yeah, so the accident
was last week.
63
00:02:37,023 --> 00:02:38,823
And that's what
it looks like now?!
64
00:02:39,025 --> 00:02:41,293
And this is what
your face looks like now?!
65
00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:46,298
What did you look like
last week?
66
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:51,035
so -- so, were
you even recognizable
67
00:02:51,037 --> 00:02:52,804
After the accident?
68
00:02:56,242 --> 00:02:59,377
Murr,
what are you doing?
69
00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:01,446
Get a grip.
70
00:03:01,448 --> 00:03:03,648
After --
after your face hit --
71
00:03:04,251 --> 00:03:06,251
After you're fotcha
hit the steering wheel,
72
00:03:06,453 --> 00:03:08,253
Were you even recognizable?
73
00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:15,393
I don't think I barely
hit the steering wheel.
74
00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:19,131
so,
you're having vertigo.
75
00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:20,598
You're having vertigo.
76
00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:22,066
You're having dizziness.
77
00:03:22,068 --> 00:03:23,468
That what this is?
Vertigo?
78
00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:24,936
Yes.
It's called -- it's vertigo.
79
00:03:24,939 --> 00:03:26,738
Are you feeling
any nau-sea?
80
00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:29,207
Are you
feeling any nau-sea?
81
00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:31,609
Mm-hmm.
You're nau-seous right now?
82
00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:32,877
You're all up.
83
00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:34,946
You're all up, emma.
You're all up.
84
00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:40,619
Zofran. I'll do 20mg.
85
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:44,288
Put your finger up. Just put
your finger up and stop it.
86
00:03:44,291 --> 00:03:45,289
Patient...
87
00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:46,290
Patient...
88
00:03:46,293 --> 00:03:47,359
...Is difficult.
89
00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:49,361
...Is difficult.
90
00:03:52,098 --> 00:03:53,631
Walk back
to the desk behind you
91
00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:55,700
And just lay on it casually
as you're talking.
92
00:03:55,702 --> 00:03:57,769
So, are you feeling
dizzy right now?
93
00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:59,704
Yeah.
You're feeling dizzy
right now?
94
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,573
Don't you puke
in here.
95
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:02,907
Don't you puke
in here!
96
00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:12,717
Has it gotten less
over the past six days?
97
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,186
Float around a bit
on that thing.
98
00:04:14,188 --> 00:04:16,120
Make it more like
a carnival ride than a chair.
99
00:04:16,122 --> 00:04:18,122
Is there a time of day
that you're more...
100
00:04:18,324 --> 00:04:20,392
Just go all the way to the deep
end of the room, keep talking.
101
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:24,863
Yeah, like, have you experienced
vertigo more, uh, in the morning
102
00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:26,198
Or the evening
or midday?
103
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,466
Have you noticed anything
consistent with that?
104
00:04:28,468 --> 00:04:31,469
I'm going to have to ask
you to come back.
105
00:04:31,471 --> 00:04:33,471
Okay, I'm on my way back.
106
00:04:33,673 --> 00:04:35,607
let me just loop around.
107
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,675
I'm already here.
108
00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:39,211
So you've noticed that...
109
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:44,883
Okay.
Uh-oh.
110
00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:47,886
I just want to do this bit
for the rest of the season.
111
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:49,554
How did that
go for you?
112
00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:51,756
Uh, I thought we had
a good rapport.
113
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,558
I'm empathetic
as
114
00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:54,826
As I thought I was --
I thought I was, like,
115
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:57,562
Empathetic as
116
00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:59,964
If you had to rate
my performance today on a scale
117
00:05:00,166 --> 00:05:01,433
Of one to 10,
what would it be?
118
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:02,834
Uh, I'm not going to do that.
That's not for me to do.
119
00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:04,368
No?
120
00:05:04,371 --> 00:05:05,837
If she won't do it,
that's a zero to me, buddy.
121
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:07,505
So is that like a zero?
122
00:05:07,707 --> 00:05:09,307
I don't know,
I don't know what a zero is.
123
00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:11,976
Patient
still being difficult.
124
00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:16,314
Sal: She's not even
smiling now.
125
00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:19,051
Murr: Sal, introduce yourself
to her, then spit in the sink.
126
00:05:19,253 --> 00:05:21,453
Hey, I'm nurse edwin.
How are you doing?
127
00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:23,855
Woman: Hi.
128
00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,590
Go over and say,
"why come here?"
129
00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:27,392
Nurse edwin,
nice to see you.
Good to see you.
130
00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:28,860
Why come here?
131
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:33,798
Um, I am really having trouble
with my back and neck.
132
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,800
Okay, dead ass.
Dead ass.
133
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,669
Dead ass?
I had an accident.
134
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,471
I'm in
a dodgeball league.
135
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,406
You're in a dodgeball league?
Yeah.
136
00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:43,541
Dead ass?
Yeah, for real?
137
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,679
...Now, my pinky's
doing weird stuff.
138
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:49,281
Your pinky's
doing weird stuff.
139
00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:50,482
It just -- yeah.
140
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,684
How many drinks
do you have in a week?
141
00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:56,220
How many drinks do you have
in a week, would you say?
142
00:05:56,422 --> 00:05:57,756
I don't know.
Four, I guess.
143
00:05:57,958 --> 00:05:59,557
Four drinks a week?
Ah, I mean...
144
00:05:59,759 --> 00:06:00,692
You might be
an alcoholic.
145
00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:02,226
Could be an alcoholic.
146
00:06:02,228 --> 00:06:03,895
I'm definitely
not an alcoholic.
147
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:10,168
You do know that denial,
it's not just a river in egypt?
148
00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:14,639
No drug allergies, okay.
No.
149
00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:15,840
So you're cool
with all drugs.
150
00:06:15,842 --> 00:06:18,042
So you're cool
with all drugs?
151
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:20,111
I don't know,
I haven't taken all of them.
152
00:06:22,783 --> 00:06:24,382
What are you writing?
153
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,984
Just that you're
cool with drugs.
154
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:27,185
Just that you're cool
with drugs.
155
00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:29,654
okay.
156
00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:31,990
I'm here for my back
and neck pain.
157
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:34,592
Yeah.
Sal, say, "shut up.
Shut up. Let me think."
158
00:06:34,794 --> 00:06:36,394
My shoulder --
shh. Wait, wait.
159
00:06:36,596 --> 00:06:38,062
Shut up for a second.
So...
160
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:43,467
Sal, check her heart and say,
"don't make it weird."
161
00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:44,602
I'm going to check
your heart.
162
00:06:44,804 --> 00:06:46,738
Don't make it weird.
Okay.
163
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,573
Whisper that
she's a great actor.
164
00:06:49,609 --> 00:06:51,809
you're a great actress.
165
00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:53,077
You're doing great.
166
00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:55,613
Just try to be more natural
when you do it.
167
00:06:55,615 --> 00:06:58,016
[ inhales,
exhales deeply ]
168
00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:59,217
It's starting to hurt now
169
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,885
Because I've been
sitting for so long.
170
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,220
Okay, is it mad cow?
171
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:07,159
Personal space, edwin.
Back up a little bit.
172
00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:13,165
I'm in so much pain now.
It just is really bugging me.
173
00:07:13,367 --> 00:07:14,833
I think I know.
174
00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:16,168
I think I know
what's going on here
175
00:07:16,370 --> 00:07:17,769
Because I don't know
if you play dodgeball,
176
00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:19,237
But I think you do play
something else.
177
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,504
You play games.
178
00:07:20,507 --> 00:07:22,574
Oh.
179
00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:23,908
Let's talk turds.
180
00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:26,511
Okay,
let's talk turds.
181
00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:29,047
I think what you did was
you probably have a little bit
182
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:30,181
Of a strain.
183
00:07:30,184 --> 00:07:31,716
For sure.
It's not getting better.
184
00:07:31,918 --> 00:07:33,251
I'm going to give
you some pain medicine.
185
00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:34,786
I'm going to give you
a low dose.
186
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,054
Oh, these are gonna
goof you up.
187
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,255
I'll goof you up.
188
00:07:41,661 --> 00:07:43,327
Is your supervisor available?
189
00:07:43,529 --> 00:07:45,863
Sure, but she's not going to
give you the goofballs.
190
00:07:49,403 --> 00:07:50,935
That was the strangest
interaction
191
00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:52,737
I've ever had
with a student.
192
00:07:52,939 --> 00:07:54,806
If you had to rate
the experience or rate me
193
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:56,007
From zero to 10?
194
00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:58,209
I'll say it was...
195
00:07:58,212 --> 00:07:59,611
A one or a two.
Okay.
196
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,479
Oh!
Oh!
197
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,481
Well, this was
a valuable experience.
198
00:08:05,885 --> 00:08:07,419
Yo, what's bringing you
in today?
199
00:08:07,421 --> 00:08:10,354
Yeah, I have this weird rash
on my arm and my neck.
200
00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:12,090
Oh, your neck too?
Yeah. Okay.
201
00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:13,225
Lean in, lean in.
202
00:08:13,427 --> 00:08:14,492
Let me just get a quick,
closer look.
203
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:15,493
Okay.
204
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,629
Sal: Eww!
205
00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:20,098
Eww!
206
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:23,635
I mean,
it could be poison ivory.
207
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,770
Yeah.
208
00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:29,307
Did you notice any -- any poison
ivory or anything around?
209
00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:31,175
Any three leaves,
let it be?
210
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:33,245
It's possible.
It's nothing I noticed.
Okay.
211
00:08:33,447 --> 00:08:35,579
Did you see any
poison ebony?
212
00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:36,981
No poison ebony,
nothing like that?
213
00:08:36,983 --> 00:08:38,382
You didn't notice anything?
214
00:08:38,384 --> 00:08:40,852
Nothing that I saw.
No poison ivory or ebony?
215
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,320
So you got --
you got it on your neck,
216
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,387
A little on your back.
217
00:08:43,589 --> 00:08:44,456
How's the p and the c?
218
00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:46,558
Has your -- has your...
219
00:08:51,250 --> 00:08:52,915
You got it on your neck,
a little on your back.
220
00:08:52,918 --> 00:08:54,517
Murr: How's the p and the c?
221
00:08:54,519 --> 00:08:56,519
How's your -- how's your --
how's your...?
222
00:08:56,521 --> 00:08:57,586
I think I'm okay
down there.
223
00:08:57,589 --> 00:08:59,522
Yeah? Okay.
And your crack?
224
00:08:59,724 --> 00:09:00,657
I think I'm okay down there.
225
00:09:00,859 --> 00:09:02,659
Okay, okay.
Well, we are going to check.
226
00:09:02,661 --> 00:09:05,795
Okay,
we are going to check.
227
00:09:07,598 --> 00:09:09,065
Sal: Be stone-faced.
Don't say a word.
228
00:09:09,267 --> 00:09:11,200
Don't say anything.
229
00:09:11,202 --> 00:09:12,802
That's it.
Not another word.
230
00:09:12,804 --> 00:09:14,070
Not another word.
231
00:09:27,752 --> 00:09:29,486
Murr:
Who's going to break first?
232
00:09:37,362 --> 00:09:38,695
You want to get
that crack out?
233
00:09:41,099 --> 00:09:42,765
Sal: He cracked him up.
234
00:09:46,437 --> 00:09:49,038
Murr: Q, we put a clown nose
in your pocket.
235
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,174
Put it on to check his heart.
236
00:09:52,377 --> 00:09:53,510
So there we go.
237
00:09:57,849 --> 00:10:00,517
Let's breathe in and out.
Nice.
238
00:10:00,519 --> 00:10:04,320
Q, can you get
your face closer to his?
239
00:10:04,323 --> 00:10:05,988
Breathe deep, deep.
240
00:10:05,991 --> 00:10:08,791
Can the red nose touch
his beard?
241
00:10:08,993 --> 00:10:11,061
One big breath.
Bigger, hold it.
242
00:10:16,935 --> 00:10:18,467
Stop listening
with the stethoscope.
243
00:10:18,669 --> 00:10:20,503
Just put your ear
against his chest.
244
00:10:22,073 --> 00:10:23,206
Breathe for me.
245
00:10:26,144 --> 00:10:28,277
And deep in.
Deep in. Deep in.
246
00:10:28,479 --> 00:10:29,812
yeah.
247
00:10:29,814 --> 00:10:32,148
Q, I hate to point out,
but doctors also listen
248
00:10:32,350 --> 00:10:34,817
To your breathing
from your back as well.
249
00:10:35,019 --> 00:10:36,953
Okay, just give me
some deep breaths, buddy.
250
00:10:39,357 --> 00:10:42,625
Oh, yeah. That's nice.
You got good lungs.
251
00:10:42,827 --> 00:10:45,094
You got good lungs.
That is nice.
252
00:10:45,096 --> 00:10:46,563
In and hold it.
In, hold it.
253
00:10:46,765 --> 00:10:48,765
In, hold it, hold it.
254
00:10:49,701 --> 00:10:51,901
yeah, that's it.
255
00:10:52,103 --> 00:10:54,503
Breathe normal.
Breathe normal. Yeah.
256
00:10:54,705 --> 00:10:56,373
Now let's see that crack.
257
00:10:56,575 --> 00:10:58,575
Now let's see that crack.
258
00:10:58,577 --> 00:10:59,642
Now that we're comfortable
with each other,
259
00:10:59,844 --> 00:11:02,379
Let's see that crack.
260
00:11:02,581 --> 00:11:04,914
Now, have you muled
any recreational drugs?
261
00:11:04,916 --> 00:11:07,584
Have you muled
any recreational drugs?
262
00:11:07,586 --> 00:11:08,785
I don't know what
muled means.
263
00:11:08,787 --> 00:11:10,119
Oh, you don't know
what mule is?
264
00:11:10,321 --> 00:11:11,520
Just look him right
in the eyes and go, "be honest."
265
00:11:11,722 --> 00:11:12,655
I'll be honest...
266
00:11:12,657 --> 00:11:13,856
I don't believe you.
267
00:11:14,058 --> 00:11:14,991
...I don't believe you.
268
00:11:16,995 --> 00:11:19,462
What's it going to take
for me to see that crack?
269
00:11:19,464 --> 00:11:21,264
What's it going to take
for me to see that crack?
270
00:11:23,802 --> 00:11:26,803
uh, not today.
Alright.
271
00:11:27,005 --> 00:11:28,004
Sal: Alright,
let's talk real shit.
272
00:11:28,206 --> 00:11:29,405
Hit me.
I rocked it, right?
273
00:11:29,408 --> 00:11:30,740
Hit me.
I rocked it, right?
274
00:11:30,942 --> 00:11:32,408
Oh, buddy.
275
00:11:34,012 --> 00:11:35,878
I think if I was
a real patient,
276
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:37,947
Um, it's very possible
you might --
277
00:11:38,149 --> 00:11:39,882
You might end up
with a lawsuit on your hands.
278
00:11:42,421 --> 00:11:44,687
When you repeatedly asked
to see their crack...
279
00:11:44,889 --> 00:11:46,289
Yes.
...That would
have been a line.
280
00:11:46,291 --> 00:11:48,090
Yes.
281
00:11:48,093 --> 00:11:50,159
So, on a scale
from one to 10?
282
00:11:50,161 --> 00:11:51,560
I'm going to give
you a good old three.
283
00:11:51,762 --> 00:11:53,963
Three?
Oh, come on!
284
00:11:54,165 --> 00:11:56,833
Really? People are that -- that
sensitive about their cracks.
285
00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:03,372
Narrator: Murr doesn't need
a second opinion.
286
00:12:03,374 --> 00:12:05,975
He's first up
on the loser board.
287
00:12:06,177 --> 00:12:07,910
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, guys.
288
00:12:07,912 --> 00:12:09,778
Today we are
at tompkins square bagels,
289
00:12:09,781 --> 00:12:11,448
And we are breaking up fights.
290
00:12:11,650 --> 00:12:13,182
After we halt
the altercation,
291
00:12:13,384 --> 00:12:15,051
We're going to try
to squash the beef
292
00:12:15,053 --> 00:12:16,853
By giving an inspirational
speech to the crowd.
293
00:12:16,855 --> 00:12:18,721
The catch is,
the guys are going to provide
294
00:12:18,723 --> 00:12:20,123
Ridiculous words
and phrases
295
00:12:20,325 --> 00:12:22,125
That we have to incorporate
into our speech.
296
00:12:22,327 --> 00:12:24,927
If we can't inspire
all the customers to applaud
297
00:12:25,129 --> 00:12:27,864
At the end of our speech,
you lose.
298
00:12:31,870 --> 00:12:33,602
Alright, sally v.
Here we go.
299
00:12:33,604 --> 00:12:34,803
The challenge
is very simple.
300
00:12:34,806 --> 00:12:36,205
Two people are going
to start fighting.
301
00:12:36,207 --> 00:12:38,074
Sal's got to intervene.
302
00:12:38,076 --> 00:12:40,276
Then dan cass is going
to stand up and start clapping,
303
00:12:40,278 --> 00:12:41,878
And we got to see
how many people join in.
304
00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:43,746
No one's joining in.
We're all losing.
305
00:12:43,748 --> 00:12:45,281
Here we go.
Woman: Hey, lady.
306
00:12:45,483 --> 00:12:46,815
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
307
00:12:46,818 --> 00:12:49,618
I picked up the bottle
you left on the sidewalk.
308
00:12:49,820 --> 00:12:51,153
There are trash cans.
Throw out the bottle.
309
00:12:51,156 --> 00:12:53,756
There are 50 trash cans --
guys, guys, guys, guys, please.
310
00:12:53,958 --> 00:12:56,092
Guys, I see too much
of this in the city.
311
00:12:56,294 --> 00:12:58,160
There's no reason
to be at each other's throats.
312
00:12:58,163 --> 00:13:00,229
Working fat italian sub.
313
00:13:00,431 --> 00:13:02,365
Sal:
I mean, what do I have to do to
help you guys, you know out?
314
00:13:02,567 --> 00:13:03,766
I could order a big
fat italian sub.
315
00:13:03,968 --> 00:13:05,101
You eat it from both sides.
316
00:13:07,572 --> 00:13:09,438
In the words of malcolm x.
317
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:12,909
I don't know.
I'm sorry, guys.
318
00:13:13,111 --> 00:13:14,643
I'm just trying
to calm everyone down.
319
00:13:14,645 --> 00:13:16,513
In the words of -- of -- of
of malcolm x,
320
00:13:16,715 --> 00:13:17,780
As a matter of fact...
321
00:13:17,782 --> 00:13:18,781
Hotsy totsy.
322
00:13:18,983 --> 00:13:20,449
Everybody's
all walking around
323
00:13:20,451 --> 00:13:21,784
All hotsy totsy
all day long.
324
00:13:24,255 --> 00:13:27,590
Listen...
Milk nozzles.
325
00:13:27,592 --> 00:13:29,859
Maybe I'm just a, you know,
my mom raised me differently.
326
00:13:30,061 --> 00:13:32,995
I -- I was on her
milk nozzles
327
00:13:33,197 --> 00:13:35,331
Since I was about
eight years old.
328
00:13:35,533 --> 00:13:36,733
Remember kathy?
329
00:13:36,935 --> 00:13:39,201
Remember kathy, my mom?
330
00:13:41,206 --> 00:13:43,339
Once again,
in the words of malcolm x.
331
00:13:43,341 --> 00:13:45,474
And once again, again,
like I said before,
332
00:13:45,476 --> 00:13:47,877
Man, in the
in the words of malcolm x,
333
00:13:48,079 --> 00:13:50,146
We don't need to fight
over littering.
334
00:13:50,348 --> 00:13:51,548
I'll leave you with this.
All I'm trying to say is...
335
00:13:51,750 --> 00:13:54,283
Murr: There once was a man
from nantucket.
336
00:13:54,485 --> 00:13:56,018
There once was a man
from nantucket...
337
00:13:56,220 --> 00:13:58,621
Whose heart was
so big he could suck it.
338
00:13:58,623 --> 00:14:01,958
...His heart was so big,
he could suck it.
339
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:03,626
Go ahead, dan cass.
340
00:14:03,828 --> 00:14:05,628
Anybody?
You understand what I'm saying.
341
00:14:12,703 --> 00:14:14,971
No clapping?
I didn't see a clap.
342
00:14:18,443 --> 00:14:20,643
Alright,
let's send in the fighters.
343
00:14:20,645 --> 00:14:22,645
Yo, dude, you just hit my --
344
00:14:22,647 --> 00:14:24,247
You just opened your
car door into my car.
345
00:14:24,449 --> 00:14:25,982
What the hell are
you talking about?
346
00:14:26,184 --> 00:14:27,784
Dude, you just opened it
up in front of my car.
347
00:14:27,786 --> 00:14:29,118
Your car was a piece
of shit anyway, so...
348
00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:31,120
Hey, fellas.
Cool it, okay?
349
00:14:31,322 --> 00:14:32,588
We're all new yorkers here.
350
00:14:32,591 --> 00:14:33,722
ah-choo.
351
00:14:33,724 --> 00:14:34,923
You hit his car.
Ah-choo!
352
00:14:34,926 --> 00:14:36,459
I'm sorry. God bless you.
Enough.
353
00:14:37,929 --> 00:14:38,927
This is new york city.
354
00:14:38,930 --> 00:14:39,796
Ham radio.
355
00:14:39,998 --> 00:14:41,397
Get together,
you sit down.
356
00:14:41,599 --> 00:14:44,333
I don't care if you got
to communicate over ham radio.
357
00:14:44,335 --> 00:14:46,335
You pull it together, okay?
358
00:14:46,337 --> 00:14:48,004
You guys are still looking at
each other like hotheads.
359
00:14:48,206 --> 00:14:50,139
Fermi paradox.
360
00:14:50,341 --> 00:14:51,474
Okay, enough.
361
00:14:51,676 --> 00:14:53,876
I mean, all we know
is that we're here right now
362
00:14:54,078 --> 00:14:55,278
In this time and place.
363
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:56,879
We don't know
if there's aliens out there.
364
00:14:57,081 --> 00:14:58,681
I mean, the fermi paradox,
right?
365
00:14:58,883 --> 00:15:00,616
Where are they?
They're not here.
366
00:15:00,619 --> 00:15:02,685
So all we've got is each other,
is what I'm saying.
367
00:15:02,887 --> 00:15:05,488
Sal: And in the words
of my favorite female poet,
368
00:15:05,490 --> 00:15:09,325
And in the words
of my favorite female poet...
369
00:15:13,564 --> 00:15:15,498
Give us your tired, your poor,
370
00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:17,500
Your huddled masses yearning
to be free.
371
00:15:17,502 --> 00:15:19,435
We are new yorkers.
372
00:15:19,637 --> 00:15:21,103
Oh, that's pretty good.
At the end.
Wow.
373
00:15:21,305 --> 00:15:24,340
Go ahead, dan cass.
New york, new york!
374
00:15:30,448 --> 00:15:33,449
Alright, murr, maybe just slink
out of there with your zero.
375
00:15:35,253 --> 00:15:38,054
That was a flop
of epic proportions.
376
00:15:38,056 --> 00:15:40,523
Sal: Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
Hey, buddy.
377
00:15:40,525 --> 00:15:42,859
You cussed in front of my kid.
Go apologize.
378
00:15:42,861 --> 00:15:44,793
Man: I have no idea
what you're taking about.
Go apologize.
379
00:15:44,995 --> 00:15:47,263
Guys, hold on, hold on,
hold on, hold on.
380
00:15:47,265 --> 00:15:49,065
Chill out, guys.
Look at everybody.
381
00:15:49,267 --> 00:15:50,733
You're surrounded
by new yorkers.
382
00:15:50,735 --> 00:15:52,068
You guys are in here
screaming at each other.
383
00:15:52,070 --> 00:15:53,736
Puerto rican game show.
384
00:15:53,938 --> 00:15:56,005
And -- and, you know,
and it's like you walk in here,
385
00:15:56,207 --> 00:15:58,006
It's like a puerto
rican game show in here.
386
00:15:58,009 --> 00:15:59,408
You know what I mean?
Everybody's having a good time.
387
00:15:59,410 --> 00:16:00,943
Everybody's having a blast.
388
00:16:01,145 --> 00:16:02,478
You two bring that energy
into here,
389
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:03,812
And look at all these people.
390
00:16:03,814 --> 00:16:05,081
They can't even make
eye contact with you.
391
00:16:05,083 --> 00:16:07,083
That's how scary you are.
392
00:16:07,085 --> 00:16:10,019
Now, I bet if you two met
under different circumstances.
393
00:16:10,221 --> 00:16:11,353
You guys would love each other.
394
00:16:11,356 --> 00:16:13,022
And I would like to say...
395
00:16:13,224 --> 00:16:15,424
The lexus December
to remember sales event.
396
00:16:15,426 --> 00:16:16,893
The lexus December...
397
00:16:22,905 --> 00:16:24,504
And I would like to say...
398
00:16:24,706 --> 00:16:26,239
Sal: The lexus December
to remember sales event.
399
00:16:26,242 --> 00:16:27,441
The lexus December...
400
00:16:31,379 --> 00:16:33,913
The lexus December sales
to remember event
401
00:16:33,916 --> 00:16:35,381
Brings us all together.
402
00:16:35,383 --> 00:16:36,582
Does it not?
403
00:16:36,585 --> 00:16:37,584
Kling clang.
404
00:16:37,786 --> 00:16:39,719
Kling clang.
Kling clang, people.
405
00:16:39,721 --> 00:16:40,987
We all want a lexus.
406
00:16:40,989 --> 00:16:42,322
In conclusion...
407
00:16:42,524 --> 00:16:43,990
Murr: Give me back my son.
408
00:16:43,992 --> 00:16:45,459
...Give me back my son!
409
00:16:54,870 --> 00:16:56,136
No one even looked up.
410
00:16:59,607 --> 00:17:00,874
Narrator: The guys
couldn't get a hand,
411
00:17:01,076 --> 00:17:03,577
Making murr tonight's big loser.
412
00:17:04,746 --> 00:17:06,346
Narrator: Welcome,
ladies and gentlemen,
413
00:17:06,348 --> 00:17:09,282
To the biggest night
in fake sports.
414
00:17:09,285 --> 00:17:11,084
Hell, yes, sally boy.
415
00:17:11,086 --> 00:17:13,487
We got a big event tonight,
so let's get right to it.
416
00:17:13,689 --> 00:17:15,956
That's right. Murr lost,
and murr's mouth
417
00:17:16,158 --> 00:17:18,958
Is always writing checks
his hips can't cash.
418
00:17:18,961 --> 00:17:22,562
So we're here ringside at
f.C. Chaos boxing and fitness
419
00:17:22,564 --> 00:17:24,230
Ready to see his punishment.
420
00:17:24,232 --> 00:17:27,433
Let's bring
out the challenger.
421
00:17:27,435 --> 00:17:29,169
♪ murr ♪
422
00:17:31,373 --> 00:17:34,308
It's clear that murray
is the heel tonight.
423
00:17:34,510 --> 00:17:36,242
Oh, he's got his stepfather
with him.
424
00:17:36,444 --> 00:17:38,311
His stepfather
is with him,
425
00:17:38,314 --> 00:17:39,746
Bringing him to ringside.
426
00:17:43,185 --> 00:17:44,184
Murr, welcome.
Okay.
427
00:17:44,386 --> 00:17:45,719
Hey, buddy.
428
00:17:45,721 --> 00:17:49,089
Are you ready to find out
who your opponent is?
429
00:17:49,992 --> 00:17:53,193
Yes, you are.
Hit the music!
430
00:17:53,195 --> 00:17:55,862
♪ oh, oh, yeah ♪
431
00:18:00,536 --> 00:18:01,801
wait a minute.
432
00:18:02,003 --> 00:18:03,669
He's getting it.
He's getting it.
433
00:18:03,672 --> 00:18:04,871
He's getting it.
434
00:18:05,073 --> 00:18:08,341
Yes! Yes!
435
00:18:10,612 --> 00:18:13,813
We are watching
his ass being bite.
436
00:18:13,815 --> 00:18:16,416
Is that -- why you bought in
a hula hoop?
437
00:18:16,418 --> 00:18:18,618
Yes, it is.
Yes, it is, sir.
438
00:18:18,820 --> 00:18:20,420
Please get to your corner.
Please.
439
00:18:20,622 --> 00:18:21,888
In this corner...
Alright.
440
00:18:22,090 --> 00:18:24,824
...Weighing in at one pound,
two ounces,
441
00:18:25,026 --> 00:18:27,693
The hoop that'll throw
your hips for a loop.
442
00:18:27,696 --> 00:18:36,636
Call your doula,
because here comes a hula!
443
00:18:36,838 --> 00:18:39,172
I'm gonna win.
I'm gonna win.
444
00:18:42,043 --> 00:18:45,045
And in this corner
from princeton, new jersey,
445
00:18:45,247 --> 00:18:47,513
By way of georgetown university,
446
00:18:47,715 --> 00:18:52,986
Where he played zero sports
and he made zero friends.
447
00:18:53,188 --> 00:18:58,057
James hubris murray, a man who
boldly claimed during a meeting
448
00:18:58,060 --> 00:19:02,862
At the beginning of this season
that, "I can hula hoop
449
00:19:02,864 --> 00:19:05,399
For an hour straight."
oh, my god.
450
00:19:05,601 --> 00:19:07,734
And even after q said,
451
00:19:07,936 --> 00:19:11,204
"why are you so confident
that you can hula hoop
452
00:19:11,406 --> 00:19:12,738
For an hour straight?"
453
00:19:12,741 --> 00:19:16,610
Murr replied, "because I won
a competition in college
454
00:19:16,612 --> 00:19:19,813
When I did it for 20 minutes.
455
00:19:20,015 --> 00:19:21,948
And when sal responded,
456
00:19:21,950 --> 00:19:25,285
"so you think you can
hula hoop for an hour
457
00:19:25,487 --> 00:19:28,354
Because you did it
for a third of the time
458
00:19:28,356 --> 00:19:29,956
30 years ago?"
459
00:19:30,158 --> 00:19:33,493
Murr said,
"yes, I can do it."
460
00:19:34,762 --> 00:19:38,965
I can do it.
I can do it! I can do it!
461
00:19:39,167 --> 00:19:41,901
Murray, desperately trying
to convince himself.
462
00:19:41,903 --> 00:19:46,572
Let's get ready to hula!
463
00:19:46,574 --> 00:19:49,042
Yes.
464
00:19:51,913 --> 00:19:55,181
Place your bets!
465
00:19:55,383 --> 00:19:58,051
Yes!
Thank you, jeff.
466
00:19:58,053 --> 00:20:00,186
Now, let's go ringside
where our referee,
467
00:20:00,388 --> 00:20:04,257
John szeluga,
is talking to the competitor.
468
00:20:04,259 --> 00:20:08,328
What's up, hula?
I want a good, clean fight.
469
00:20:08,330 --> 00:20:09,462
Alright?
Okay.
470
00:20:09,465 --> 00:20:11,197
No outside interference.
471
00:20:11,199 --> 00:20:12,332
No more than 60 minutes.
472
00:20:12,534 --> 00:20:14,400
As soon
as the hoop hits the mat,
473
00:20:14,402 --> 00:20:16,536
The punishment is over.
474
00:20:16,538 --> 00:20:17,937
No redos.
475
00:20:18,139 --> 00:20:20,674
Alright.
Hoop, nothing below the belt.
476
00:20:20,876 --> 00:20:23,076
Murr, you wearing a cup?
477
00:20:23,078 --> 00:20:25,278
to your corners.
478
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:27,347
Is it rounds,
or is it just one round?
479
00:20:27,349 --> 00:20:28,682
One 60-minute round.
Yeah.
480
00:20:28,684 --> 00:20:30,616
This whole thing was designed
around what you said
481
00:20:30,618 --> 00:20:33,486
Out of your goddamn mouth.
482
00:20:33,489 --> 00:20:35,689
All: Three, two, one.
483
00:20:35,891 --> 00:20:37,390
here we go.
484
00:20:40,595 --> 00:20:42,729
All: Three, two, one.
485
00:20:42,931 --> 00:20:44,130
q: Here we go.
486
00:20:44,132 --> 00:20:45,732
Here,
he's off to the races.
487
00:20:48,203 --> 00:20:51,804
Wow, the crowd
is not on his side.
488
00:20:52,006 --> 00:20:54,807
This is johnna scrabis
reporting ringside
489
00:20:55,009 --> 00:20:56,475
At the turquoise ring.
490
00:20:56,477 --> 00:21:00,146
Folks, it's an incredible
atmosphere here tonight.
491
00:21:00,348 --> 00:21:04,150
I'm here with crew member
joe imburgio.
492
00:21:04,152 --> 00:21:06,485
Joe, what did you
bet tonight?
493
00:21:06,487 --> 00:21:08,487
I bet that james would make
it all the way to the end.
494
00:21:08,689 --> 00:21:10,223
I've been here
for a long time.
495
00:21:10,225 --> 00:21:12,024
You don't bet
against james murray?
496
00:21:12,027 --> 00:21:13,826
There used to be more writers
on this show.
497
00:21:13,828 --> 00:21:15,094
incredible.
498
00:21:15,296 --> 00:21:17,830
Sal: Whew.
499
00:21:17,832 --> 00:21:21,100
I have to be honest,
there is no way in the world
500
00:21:21,102 --> 00:21:22,168
He is lasting 60 minutes.
501
00:21:22,170 --> 00:21:23,836
He can not.
502
00:21:41,656 --> 00:21:42,589
Wow.
503
00:21:42,791 --> 00:21:44,123
I -- I must...
504
00:21:44,325 --> 00:21:46,259
Yes. Thoughts, sal.
Thoughts.
505
00:21:46,261 --> 00:21:47,727
Whether it drops
in a moment or not,
506
00:21:47,929 --> 00:21:49,596
I must commend
his concentration.
507
00:21:49,598 --> 00:21:52,131
Yeah. He is --
you can tell he
is trying to be locked in.
508
00:21:52,133 --> 00:21:53,199
He's dialed in, sal.
He's dialed in.
509
00:21:53,401 --> 00:21:55,401
He's dialed in
at this moment.
510
00:21:55,404 --> 00:21:57,270
Oh, now.
511
00:21:57,272 --> 00:21:59,672
Yes, murray might
be in better shape.
512
00:21:59,874 --> 00:22:00,807
Whoa!
513
00:22:00,809 --> 00:22:02,075
[ crowd chanting
"drop the hula!" ]
514
00:22:02,277 --> 00:22:04,944
The crowd is demanding
the hula drop.
Wow.
515
00:22:05,146 --> 00:22:07,213
Wow!
Whoo!
516
00:22:07,215 --> 00:22:08,815
He's going to need
to showcase
517
00:22:08,817 --> 00:22:10,683
His mental fortitude
as well.
518
00:22:10,885 --> 00:22:12,485
Well, that's -- that's
where -- that's
519
00:22:12,487 --> 00:22:14,821
Where he's going to fail
I think the most.
520
00:22:15,023 --> 00:22:16,689
I mean, now he is
in better shape than you
521
00:22:16,891 --> 00:22:19,492
And I generally,
but he still is
522
00:22:19,494 --> 00:22:21,427
A little older
than he used to be.
523
00:22:21,430 --> 00:22:23,096
Yes, that's correct.
524
00:22:23,298 --> 00:22:24,897
So who knows how
this is going to go for him.
525
00:22:24,899 --> 00:22:26,565
Yeah. Alright.
526
00:22:26,567 --> 00:22:29,702
Now, now the crowd.
[ crowd chanting
"murr's a ferret" ]
527
00:22:29,704 --> 00:22:32,639
Wow,
the crowd is really opposed.
528
00:22:32,841 --> 00:22:36,108
Wow. "murr is a ferret"
chants are taking place.
529
00:22:36,111 --> 00:22:38,511
I'm joined here
by christian esten.
530
00:22:38,513 --> 00:22:40,313
Christian,
what did you bet tonight?
531
00:22:40,315 --> 00:22:42,781
Haha, yeah.
Okay.
532
00:22:42,784 --> 00:22:45,718
Do you think
murray's going to win?
533
00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:47,654
Nah.
No, he doesn't.
534
00:22:48,923 --> 00:22:49,989
Sal: This is coming from
the hearts and
535
00:22:50,191 --> 00:22:52,258
Minds of our audience.
536
00:22:52,260 --> 00:22:55,328
Wow. Uh-oh,
what's happening?
537
00:22:55,330 --> 00:22:58,397
I'm sensing -- ah,
I'm sensing a break here.
538
00:22:58,599 --> 00:23:00,733
Could he not even make
five minutes?
539
00:23:00,935 --> 00:23:02,935
Could he not even
make three minutes?
540
00:23:02,937 --> 00:23:05,604
That would be --
oh! Oh!
541
00:23:05,606 --> 00:23:07,540
Oh, my god! 2:21!
542
00:23:07,742 --> 00:23:09,942
2:21. Boo!
And it is over.
543
00:23:10,144 --> 00:23:12,479
It's over already.
544
00:23:12,681 --> 00:23:15,548
Oh, my goodness.
Sal and q: This is unbelievable.
545
00:23:15,750 --> 00:23:20,353
3,000% under the time
he said he was going to do it.
546
00:23:20,555 --> 00:23:22,889
Oh, and here's his
beautiful wife, melissa.
547
00:23:23,091 --> 00:23:24,623
no!
548
00:23:24,825 --> 00:23:28,094
Sal: The absolute pair of balls
on this man.
549
00:23:28,296 --> 00:23:29,095
The gall.
550
00:23:29,297 --> 00:23:31,830
Both: The unmitigated gall!
551
00:23:31,833 --> 00:23:34,567
I-I might have been mistaken.
552
00:23:34,769 --> 00:23:39,105
I have not seen a failure of
this magnitude in so, so long.
553
00:23:39,307 --> 00:23:41,240
This is embarrassing.
Bad, murr.
554
00:23:41,242 --> 00:23:43,175
Everybody's screaming at me,
I got in my head.
555
00:23:43,178 --> 00:23:46,112
This punishment took months
to put together.
556
00:23:46,114 --> 00:23:48,715
And you shit the bed
immediately.
557
00:23:48,717 --> 00:23:50,983
Under 2.5 minutes
is insane.
558
00:23:51,185 --> 00:23:53,452
But don't say it like that.
559
00:23:53,454 --> 00:23:55,188
Thank you so much
for joining us.
560
00:23:55,390 --> 00:23:57,323
On behalf of my partner,
brian quinn, I'm sal vulcano,
561
00:23:57,525 --> 00:24:00,793
Saying thank you
and good night and good hula.
562
00:24:00,795 --> 00:24:02,628
It was a pretty sad attempt,
I must admit.
38185
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