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1
00:00:06,873 --> 00:00:09,208
[ laughter ]
2
00:00:10,945 --> 00:00:12,177
[ screaming ]
3
00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:15,013
Let's just get this started.
4
00:00:15,081 --> 00:00:16,548
Are you [bleep] kidding me?
5
00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:17,882
Who's a good cat?
6
00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:20,285
[ laughter ]
7
00:00:20,287 --> 00:00:21,886
[ cymbals crash ]
8
00:00:21,888 --> 00:00:23,555
[ clattering ]
9
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:24,689
[ chuckles ]
10
00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:26,859
[ laughter ]
11
00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:29,762
Today we're being interviewed
for a job
12
00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:31,696
By unsuspecting employees
13
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:33,298
At the offices
of the bachrach group.
14
00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:35,634
And not only do we have to do
and say what we're told,
15
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:38,170
But our résumés have
been written by the other guys.
16
00:00:38,238 --> 00:00:39,838
The goal is to get hired
for the job.
17
00:00:39,906 --> 00:00:42,641
If you do not get hired,
you lose.
18
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:43,709
Flannel?
19
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:46,244
[ laughs ] [ laughs ]
20
00:00:46,313 --> 00:00:49,648
♪♪
21
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,183
Rolling? Crew member: Yes.
22
00:00:51,251 --> 00:00:52,451
You unplugged? What have you
got... what have you got cooking?
23
00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:54,586
I know that look. [ laughs ]
24
00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:56,921
I've got a little surprise
for sal at the top of his turn.
25
00:00:56,991 --> 00:00:58,857
At the top of the turn?
Yeah. I'll let you see it.
26
00:00:58,925 --> 00:01:01,994
Alright, sal, we want
you to start in the corner,
27
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,528
On the phone.
28
00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:05,664
You're having a conversation
with your baby momma, you know?
29
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:08,200
Reassuring her that
that she's your boo
30
00:01:08,268 --> 00:01:10,002
And patricia means shit to you.
31
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,270
[ laughter ] oh, yeah.
32
00:01:12,339 --> 00:01:13,471
I'm telling you, I
love you so much.
33
00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:15,073
You're the only one for me.
34
00:01:15,141 --> 00:01:16,675
I'm telling you, patricia
means nothing to you.
35
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:18,877
Oh, oh, hold on! Hi,
hi, hi. That's okay.
36
00:01:18,945 --> 00:01:20,479
I will hang up right now.
I'll hang up right now.
37
00:01:20,547 --> 00:01:21,680
Yeah, that's okay
and we'll need...
38
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:23,548
Oh, the résumé is in here. Yes.
39
00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:25,150
I have to go right now, but
I want to tell you right now,
40
00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:28,486
I don't know what you
saw, but I love you so much.
41
00:01:28,555 --> 00:01:30,422
Okay. I love you. Bye.
42
00:01:30,490 --> 00:01:31,956
Okay, I'm so sorry about that.
43
00:01:31,958 --> 00:01:33,318
I was going
through a little thing.
44
00:01:33,894 --> 00:01:35,960
Hi. Hi. How are you?
45
00:01:36,030 --> 00:01:39,231
[ laughter ]
46
00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:40,899
What did you do?
47
00:01:40,967 --> 00:01:42,634
I cut the bottom
out of his chair.
48
00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:44,969
[ laughter ]
49
00:01:44,971 --> 00:01:47,772
Approved twice to officer.
Was that a permanent role?
50
00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:49,307
The foam is on the floor.
51
00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:51,776
The foam... the
foam's on the floor.
52
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:53,712
What kind of things
did you do there?
53
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,714
I'm a dis... I'm a...
54
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,249
Like, I've been
known to be disruptor,
55
00:01:57,317 --> 00:02:00,585
Because prior to that, and
I didn't list this, but I was...
56
00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:02,054
He's gonna start sweating soon,
57
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,788
Because he's holding himself up.
58
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:07,259
A blogger and a tech
savvy type of person.
59
00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:09,261
So, I dealt with ceos,
60
00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:12,130
I dealt with literally
chart-topping artists
61
00:02:12,199 --> 00:02:14,599
And then...
62
00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:17,001
This is more exercise
than sal's done in forever.
63
00:02:17,071 --> 00:02:19,404
What are you
looking for in salary?
64
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:22,340
I would say I'm looking
to start at at least $80,000.
65
00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:25,209
He's getting lower.
His seat keeps sinking.
66
00:02:25,211 --> 00:02:27,412
So, did you do
any of that stuff?
67
00:02:27,414 --> 00:02:28,947
Were you more like [indistinct]?
68
00:02:29,015 --> 00:02:31,984
[ laughter ]
69
00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:36,554
Just depending on, you
know, what the role is.
70
00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:39,357
I mean, I think anything
like creative or in achieving.
71
00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:41,260
Look at how low he's sat!
72
00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:45,830
[ laughter ]
73
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:48,867
It says "senior executives"
and like, have you traveled?
74
00:02:49,904 --> 00:02:51,303
The height difference!
75
00:02:51,371 --> 00:02:53,505
I believe that was...
I think he's higher up.
76
00:02:53,573 --> 00:02:55,440
Murr: He looks like
a mushroom cap.
77
00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:57,842
[ laughter ]
78
00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,043
I mean, look, if
you need anything,
79
00:02:59,113 --> 00:03:00,245
I'm your man, you know?
80
00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:02,714
Alright. Okay. Alright.
81
00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:04,916
So, I'll walk you out.
82
00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:08,052
Thank you. I think
the chair is not right.
83
00:03:08,122 --> 00:03:09,721
I didn't want to
say anything during.
84
00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:12,524
[ laughter ]
85
00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,126
♪♪
86
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,393
Oh, shit!
87
00:03:15,462 --> 00:03:19,998
[ laughter ]
88
00:03:20,066 --> 00:03:22,734
Can you help me with
this? I'm stuck here.
89
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:24,402
♪♪
90
00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:26,805
Murr: Go help him up.
91
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:29,341
Oh, my god! Can you get up?
92
00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:32,344
Not my best
interview. [ laughter ]
93
00:03:32,412 --> 00:03:34,346
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much.
94
00:03:34,414 --> 00:03:36,748
Okay. Alright. You
know your way out?
95
00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:38,097
Yes, I know my
way out. Oh, okay.
96
00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:41,820
So?
97
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:43,688
[ laughter ]
98
00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,290
Here. You have some notes?
99
00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:47,025
Who did that? Who
did that? It was me.
100
00:03:47,093 --> 00:03:48,092
I didn't know. Sorry.
101
00:03:48,162 --> 00:03:49,627
Holy [bleep]
[bleep] dude! Sorry.
102
00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:50,962
We have another
candidate and I want to,
103
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:52,897
Like, know what happened, so...
104
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,968
Yeah. Well, besides the
what happened, he's strange.
105
00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:57,636
[ laughter ]
106
00:03:57,704 --> 00:03:59,838
As far as, like, my
recommendation?
107
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,305
Maybe. Maybe.
108
00:04:01,307 --> 00:04:02,306
Ah! Maybe.
109
00:04:02,308 --> 00:04:04,576
Oh, alright. Not a "no."
110
00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:05,710
I'll give a thumbs-up on that.
She had mercy on my ass.
111
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:07,645
Wow! [ ding! ]
112
00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:10,982
Murr: You know, q, you
look very sharp and polished.
113
00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:12,917
You guys gave me a briefcase.
114
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,586
Since you look like such
a powerful businessman,
115
00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:16,921
You might as well adopt
the powerful stance.
116
00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:18,590
We want you to take the
whole interview standing up
117
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:19,924
In front of the chair.
118
00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:22,460
[ laughter ]
119
00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:23,461
Dale. Dale.
120
00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:24,529
Hi. Hi, I'm dale.
121
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:25,530
Hi, man, nice to meet you.
122
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:26,865
Ditto. Ditto.
123
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,400
Alright, buddy. Is this
your résumé here?
124
00:04:28,468 --> 00:04:30,202
That's my résumé.
Yes, yes. Okay, cool.
125
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,204
Want to get comfy?
Oh, I'm okay standing.
126
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,138
It's okay. Yeah. I
don't mind. Okay.
127
00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:36,208
Thank you. [ laughs ]
128
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,743
Alright, dale, let's see. Yeah.
129
00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:40,478
So, you made beer? I...
130
00:04:40,547 --> 00:04:42,547
Yes, I made beer.
131
00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:43,748
Sal: Tell them about the stats.
132
00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:45,350
This is the only thing
on a résumé today
133
00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:47,619
That is 100% accurate
and factual. [ laughs ] yeah.
134
00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:50,022
Rubsam & horrmann
brewery on staten island.
135
00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:52,290
It was called r & h
beer. It was delicious.
136
00:04:52,359 --> 00:04:54,092
As it says here, yeah,
137
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:55,960
I poured tens of
thousands of my own dollars
138
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,630
Into a defunct staten island
beer brand. [ murr chuckles ]
139
00:04:58,698 --> 00:05:00,965
I took full responsibility
for all operations,
140
00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:02,834
Financials, production,
141
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:04,903
Hiring and subsequent
firing of all staff.
142
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:07,706
I did have to fire everybody
when the company failed.
143
00:05:07,774 --> 00:05:10,308
Uh, I acted as my own attorney.
144
00:05:10,377 --> 00:05:11,710
This is probably
why it went down.
145
00:05:11,778 --> 00:05:13,311
[ laughs ]
146
00:05:13,379 --> 00:05:15,113
It was a spectacular failure.
147
00:05:15,181 --> 00:05:16,114
Okay.
148
00:05:16,182 --> 00:05:17,315
The beer was great though.
149
00:05:17,384 --> 00:05:18,850
[ laughter ] I can't
stress that enough.
150
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:20,585
And then in terms
of, like, now, like,
151
00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:23,121
What types of opportunities
are you interested in?
152
00:05:23,189 --> 00:05:24,656
Um... "how may
italians do you have?"
153
00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:26,124
How many italians
do you have here?
154
00:05:26,192 --> 00:05:27,859
A lot of italians here
in the company?
155
00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:31,129
Uh, I don't know how
many, to be quite honest.
156
00:05:31,197 --> 00:05:32,797
Okay. Oh, you guys don't...
you don't keep track of that.
157
00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:36,200
Okay. Oh, I will
give this back to you.
158
00:05:36,270 --> 00:05:37,936
"okay. Hold on. Let
me just give you this."
159
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,537
Open your suitcase, q.
160
00:05:39,606 --> 00:05:40,872
Well, let me... I just want
to make sure I give you this.
161
00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:42,006
There's a urine sample in there
162
00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:43,541
That you can give
her for us please.
163
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:45,877
Yeah.
164
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:47,279
Okay.
165
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,680
I did bring a urine sample.
166
00:05:48,748 --> 00:05:50,148
[ laughter ]
167
00:05:50,216 --> 00:05:52,216
Oh! So, you know
what? You sit right there.
168
00:05:52,218 --> 00:05:54,686
Okay. Well, can I stand?
Is it alright if I stand?
169
00:05:54,754 --> 00:05:56,621
Sure. You can totally
stand. Okay. Thank you.
170
00:05:56,623 --> 00:05:58,290
Murr: [ laughs ] q!
171
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:01,759
Sal: I've never seen
someone so shocked
172
00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:03,895
And dumbfounded on this show.
173
00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:05,697
Man: So? Hey, man, I
brought this... I brought this.
174
00:06:05,765 --> 00:06:07,431
I didn't know if
you guys needed it,
175
00:06:07,433 --> 00:06:09,553
But I brought a pee sample.
I don't think I need that.
176
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,170
Okay.
177
00:06:12,238 --> 00:06:14,038
No, just put it down
and walk out. Just go out.
178
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,707
I'll just leave that
with my résumé then.
179
00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:17,775
Alright. Okay, uh...
180
00:06:17,844 --> 00:06:19,443
"full disclosure. There
is marijuana in the pee."
181
00:06:19,445 --> 00:06:20,912
You don't even have to test.
182
00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:22,780
There will be
marijuana in the pee,
183
00:06:22,849 --> 00:06:24,516
But... but nothing else. Okay.
184
00:06:24,584 --> 00:06:26,318
Thank you. Thank you.
185
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,919
[ laughs ]
186
00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:30,722
If I had to tell my manager,
you would recommend...?
187
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:32,390
I would say "no."
188
00:06:32,459 --> 00:06:34,993
[ laughter ] [ buzzer ]
189
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:37,595
Q: I just hit murray with the
surprise when he got here.
190
00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:39,397
His suit is sewn to the seat.
191
00:06:39,465 --> 00:06:41,799
What? How the hell did you
do it? Murr show him, show him.
192
00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:43,401
I can't show you.
193
00:06:43,469 --> 00:06:45,069
Only my arms are free.
194
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:47,071
Everything else is
sewed to the chair.
195
00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:48,673
Can you lean forward
to shake her hand?
196
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:51,543
No. I'm sewn in. Murr,
are those flowers?
197
00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:55,013
[ chuckles ] yeah. Those
are you gift for the interviewer.
198
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,815
Cuban, this is
frank. Hi. Hi, frank.
199
00:06:57,884 --> 00:06:59,551
Frank: Hi. How are you?
Hey, buddy, how are you today?
200
00:06:59,619 --> 00:07:01,953
Nice to meet you.
How's it going?
201
00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:03,488
Sal: He's just gonna sit there.
202
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:06,290
Thanks for having
me for the interview.
203
00:07:06,292 --> 00:07:08,360
So, that's for you.
204
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:09,761
And he pushes it.
205
00:07:09,829 --> 00:07:11,429
I'm married. You're married?
206
00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:12,964
[ laughter ]
207
00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:14,632
Let's get down to business.
208
00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:17,035
I brought a copy of
my résumé for you.
209
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,904
So, you're 1%
sub-saharan african?
210
00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:23,241
[ laughter ]
211
00:07:23,309 --> 00:07:26,178
Yes, I did one of
those dna test results,
212
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:28,580
And it says that I'm
1% sub-saharan african.
213
00:07:28,648 --> 00:07:31,115
I think we all are
though, you know?
214
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,517
I think I'm more than 1%.
215
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:35,253
[ laughter ] [ chuckles ]
216
00:07:35,321 --> 00:07:36,588
So, I'm just looking
at your background.
217
00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:38,056
You're a caddy.
218
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:39,858
Yeah, at the country club
219
00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:42,193
I create a cheerful
supporting green environment.
220
00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:43,795
I learned to read
weather patterns
221
00:07:43,863 --> 00:07:46,398
And I dove for balls ad hoc.
222
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,400
I've never heard of a
caddy diving for balls.
223
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:51,202
Really? "sir, I will
dive for your balls."
224
00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:54,272
Sir, I'll tell you. I will
dive for your balls.
225
00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:56,140
That's how committed I am.
226
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:57,675
[ laughs ]
227
00:07:57,744 --> 00:07:59,343
Let's talk about
the bullet points.
228
00:07:59,345 --> 00:08:00,812
You've been in over
400 relationships.
229
00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,814
[ laughter ]
230
00:08:02,882 --> 00:08:04,883
Yes, sir. Explain.
231
00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:06,418
I didn't want to
write, you know,
232
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,886
"body counts" on the résumé,
so I wrote "relationships."
233
00:08:08,955 --> 00:08:10,555
Wow! Okay.
234
00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:11,756
[ laughter ]
235
00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:13,024
He goes, "wow!"
236
00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:15,760
I was taught to put
details in your résumé
237
00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:16,828
That would make you stand out.
238
00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:18,963
Oh, you're standing out a lot.
239
00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:20,832
[ laughter ]
240
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:22,634
Thank you so much for your time.
241
00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:24,436
Oh, it's over? We're
done with the interview?
242
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,838
Great. Oh, yeah, it's over.
243
00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:29,441
Alright, murr, get up, shake
his hand, and walk out.
244
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:32,844
Yeah. What...? Uh... [
chuckles ] what, um...?
245
00:08:32,912 --> 00:08:34,312
Stop dilly dallying.
246
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:36,714
Get up, shake his
hand, and walk out.
247
00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:38,516
We're done. So, thank
you so much for your time.
248
00:08:38,584 --> 00:08:39,851
Okay. Well, anyways.
249
00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:40,852
Ugh! [ cloth tearing ]
250
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:42,053
[ laughter ]
251
00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:50,244
Q: Stop dilly dallying. Get up,
shake his hand, and walk out.
252
00:08:50,313 --> 00:08:52,113
We're done. So, thank
you so much for your time.
253
00:08:52,182 --> 00:08:54,048
Okay. Well, anyways...
254
00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:56,717
Ugh! [ cloth tearing ]
255
00:08:56,787 --> 00:09:00,655
[ laughter ]
256
00:09:00,723 --> 00:09:02,056
Are you alright?
257
00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:05,326
♪♪
258
00:09:05,395 --> 00:09:06,395
Uh...
259
00:09:07,864 --> 00:09:10,098
[ laughter ]
260
00:09:12,002 --> 00:09:14,068
Alright. What the...?
261
00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:16,805
Q: [ laughs ]
262
00:09:16,873 --> 00:09:19,407
♪♪
263
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,942
[bleep] you. What did you do?
264
00:09:21,944 --> 00:09:24,879
It was a little
breakaway suit, buddy.
265
00:09:24,948 --> 00:09:30,751
Yeah. His suit is, like,
stitched to the chair.
266
00:09:30,753 --> 00:09:31,886
I've never seen that.
267
00:09:31,954 --> 00:09:34,823
[ laughter ]
268
00:09:34,891 --> 00:09:36,357
And your gut reaction, like,
269
00:09:36,426 --> 00:09:38,426
If you think I should
recommend him to get hired.
270
00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:40,695
Yeah. I would not
recommend him for anything.
271
00:09:40,763 --> 00:09:44,432
[ laughter ] [ buzzer ]
272
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:46,767
Narrator: It looks the only
place hiring q and murr
273
00:09:46,769 --> 00:09:48,336
Is the loser board.
274
00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:51,639
Today we're at morton
williams supermarket
275
00:09:51,708 --> 00:09:53,041
With our "grandmothers,"
276
00:09:53,109 --> 00:09:55,776
Giving out samples of
our two family sauces.
277
00:09:55,778 --> 00:09:57,646
Nonna's sauce and
sunny's marinara.
278
00:09:57,714 --> 00:09:59,447
While the shoppers
are tasting sauces,
279
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:01,582
The other guys are
gonna be forcing us to treat
280
00:10:01,584 --> 00:10:03,318
Our grandmas horribly.
281
00:10:03,386 --> 00:10:05,854
And after being an awful
person to our lovely nana,
282
00:10:05,922 --> 00:10:08,389
We'll ask the customer which
sauce they'd like to take home.
283
00:10:08,391 --> 00:10:10,525
If the customer
chooses nonna's sauce,
284
00:10:10,593 --> 00:10:13,728
Despite the fact that
it's truly terrible, you lose.
285
00:10:13,796 --> 00:10:16,997
♪♪
286
00:10:16,999 --> 00:10:20,669
Alright, guys, I'm here
with candy, my nonna.
287
00:10:20,737 --> 00:10:22,803
I apologize in advance
288
00:10:22,805 --> 00:10:24,805
For what they're gonna
tell me to say to you.
289
00:10:24,875 --> 00:10:27,275
You are lovely. You are
forgiven ahead of time.
290
00:10:27,344 --> 00:10:28,809
Okay. There you go. Okay.
291
00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:30,211
So, we've got two
difference sauces here...
292
00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:32,280
Sunny's sauce and nonna's sauce.
293
00:10:32,348 --> 00:10:35,616
So, murr, your sauce is actually
a gourmet sauce that was made,
294
00:10:35,685 --> 00:10:38,819
And nonna's is actually just
like a blend tomato puree.
295
00:10:38,889 --> 00:10:40,255
This is gonna be hard to do.
296
00:10:42,024 --> 00:10:44,225
Hi, bud, how are you? Do
you want to try nonna's sauce.
297
00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:46,361
You get to take home
whichever jar you like for free.
298
00:10:46,429 --> 00:10:48,829
Candy, just say "mine's better."
299
00:10:48,831 --> 00:10:50,098
Mine's better.
300
00:10:50,166 --> 00:10:51,900
Murr go, "shh,
shh." mine's better.
301
00:10:51,968 --> 00:10:53,101
Shh. Shh. Shh.
302
00:10:53,169 --> 00:10:55,035
"mine, or the bag of bones'?"
303
00:10:55,037 --> 00:10:57,772
So, you can either... you
can either choose my sauce
304
00:10:57,840 --> 00:10:59,373
Or the bag of bones', you know?
305
00:10:59,442 --> 00:11:01,509
Do you think I'm a bag of bones?
306
00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:03,311
"I think you're a big
[bleep] bag of bones."
307
00:11:03,379 --> 00:11:05,646
[ laughs ]
308
00:11:05,648 --> 00:11:08,583
I think you're a big
[bleep] bag of bones.
309
00:11:08,651 --> 00:11:10,518
Can we get back to the sale?
310
00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:13,588
[ laughs ]
311
00:11:13,656 --> 00:11:15,924
This is nonna's sauce,
she's been making all day.
312
00:11:15,992 --> 00:11:17,926
If you like mine,
you get a jar for free.
313
00:11:17,994 --> 00:11:19,794
Well, you get a jar of either
one for free, whichever.
314
00:11:19,862 --> 00:11:21,529
But you can have this
one for free right now.
315
00:11:21,598 --> 00:11:23,063
"nana, what the
[bleep] are you doing?"
316
00:11:23,065 --> 00:11:24,999
Nonna, what the
[bleep] are you doing?
317
00:11:25,067 --> 00:11:26,735
Let him choose.
318
00:11:26,803 --> 00:11:29,203
Snatch it back. Snatch
it back out of my hand.
319
00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:30,471
It's okay. No, no, no.
320
00:11:30,473 --> 00:11:31,739
He doesn't get
it, nonna, for free.
321
00:11:31,808 --> 00:11:33,074
What the [bleep] are you doing?
322
00:11:33,143 --> 00:11:36,344
[ laughter ]
323
00:11:36,412 --> 00:11:38,279
Now, marcel, you have a choice.
324
00:11:38,348 --> 00:11:40,148
You can get a jar
of the sunny's sauce
325
00:11:40,216 --> 00:11:41,549
Or a jar of the nonna's sauce.
326
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:43,351
They are free, either one.
327
00:11:43,420 --> 00:11:45,753
I think nonna. Q: Nonna's sauce!
328
00:11:45,822 --> 00:11:47,888
Nonna's sauce!
329
00:11:47,890 --> 00:11:49,524
You want this old
bag of bones' sauce?
330
00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:52,160
Sal: "who has to shut
the [bleep] up now?"
331
00:11:52,228 --> 00:11:54,228
Who has to shut
the [bleep] up now?
332
00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:57,832
[ laughter ] [ buzzer ]
333
00:11:57,900 --> 00:11:59,567
Hey, you want to
try some sauce, sir?
334
00:12:01,171 --> 00:12:03,237
"you'll try anything for
free? Come over here."
335
00:12:03,306 --> 00:12:06,040
You'll try anything for
free? Come over here!
336
00:12:06,109 --> 00:12:07,642
If you know what I mean.
337
00:12:07,710 --> 00:12:09,710
Oh! [ both chuckle ]
338
00:12:09,712 --> 00:12:13,247
"grandma, stop hooking
up with the customers."
339
00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:14,715
Hey, grandma, grandma.
340
00:12:14,784 --> 00:12:16,117
Oh, leave us alone, will you?
341
00:12:16,186 --> 00:12:18,920
Grandma, stop trying to
hook up with the customers.
342
00:12:20,723 --> 00:12:22,857
You're 97? Murr:
"she's 80, but looks 100."
343
00:12:22,925 --> 00:12:24,525
She's 80, but she looks 100.
344
00:12:24,594 --> 00:12:25,926
[ laughter ]
345
00:12:25,928 --> 00:12:27,528
How can you take all that?
346
00:12:27,530 --> 00:12:29,197
Well, he's my
grandson. Oh, okay.
347
00:12:29,265 --> 00:12:31,800
Did you teach him
to behave like that?
348
00:12:31,868 --> 00:12:34,402
I think it would be great if she
just sat her wrinkled ass down
349
00:12:34,470 --> 00:12:37,338
And let me conduct business.
Oh, my god, that's terrible.
350
00:12:37,407 --> 00:12:39,473
[ laughter ]
351
00:12:39,542 --> 00:12:41,742
This man's trying your sauce.
352
00:12:41,811 --> 00:12:43,878
Okay. I've tried this one
now. Now I try another?
353
00:12:43,946 --> 00:12:45,346
Alright. And then
this one's mine.
354
00:12:45,415 --> 00:12:46,947
And then you just tell me
which one you like more
355
00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:48,282
And you get to
bring that for free.
356
00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:50,351
I think this needs
a little bit of salt.
357
00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:51,952
Hers needs salt? Yes.
358
00:12:51,954 --> 00:12:54,355
Your seasoning
kills. Your seasoning.
359
00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:55,756
But... Right away,
yours needs salt...
360
00:12:55,825 --> 00:12:58,159
You have to be careful
about how much salt you have.
361
00:12:58,228 --> 00:12:59,627
I know. So, so...
362
00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:01,229
Well, I miss it when I
taste it. You could always...
363
00:13:01,297 --> 00:13:04,298
Why do you keep on and
on about the [bleep] recipe?
364
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:06,567
On and on about
the [bleep] recipe.
365
00:13:06,636 --> 00:13:10,304
And I keep telling you,
"more salt, more [bleep] salt."
366
00:13:10,373 --> 00:13:12,306
Why didn't you tell it
to her in a nice way?
367
00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:14,375
Salt, salt, salt. You're
right, you're right.
368
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:15,576
Of course, of course.
Just put a little bit of salt.
369
00:13:15,645 --> 00:13:16,977
Of course. Okay.
370
00:13:16,979 --> 00:13:18,046
Just a little bit
of [bleep] salt.
371
00:13:18,114 --> 00:13:20,048
No, not the [bleep],
just regular salt.
372
00:13:20,116 --> 00:13:22,783
Just regular salt? Okay. Sorry.
373
00:13:22,852 --> 00:13:24,919
Now, this is yours?
That's mine. That stuff is...
374
00:13:24,987 --> 00:13:27,055
How is the salt in that?
Oh, the salt is perfect, man.
375
00:13:27,123 --> 00:13:29,457
You know why? Because I
took her recipe and made it good.
376
00:13:29,525 --> 00:13:31,459
Oh, okay. I'll try it.
377
00:13:31,527 --> 00:13:33,127
Close your eyes,
you'll think it's shit.
378
00:13:33,195 --> 00:13:36,597
[ laughter ]
379
00:13:36,666 --> 00:13:38,599
Alright. So, sir, which
one did you like better?
380
00:13:38,668 --> 00:13:40,268
Yours. You liked mine?
381
00:13:40,336 --> 00:13:42,136
Sal: Oh! You see? He
likes mind, instead of hers.
382
00:13:42,205 --> 00:13:44,472
You know why? Because
there's some salt content
383
00:13:44,540 --> 00:13:46,074
Just [bleep] right on it.
384
00:13:46,142 --> 00:13:49,010
[ ding! ] [ laughter ]
385
00:13:52,815 --> 00:13:54,682
Sir, would you like
a free jar of sauce?
386
00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:56,817
Yeah, we're just
doing a taste test.
387
00:13:56,886 --> 00:13:58,686
This is my nonna.
Murr: Here we go.
388
00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:02,022
"I get to go home when one
more person takes my sauce."
389
00:14:02,024 --> 00:14:05,560
I get to go home when one
more person takes my sauce.
390
00:14:05,628 --> 00:14:07,361
You're not... you know,
we're not going home.
391
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:09,430
We have to be here for
the shift, to give it all away.
392
00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:11,365
I told you that. She just
complains so [bleep] much.
393
00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:14,368
She seems very nice to
me. Very nice. Murr: Ah!
394
00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:17,305
"nonna, lean back, get your
sloppy tits out of the sauce."
395
00:14:17,373 --> 00:14:20,708
♪♪
396
00:14:27,716 --> 00:14:31,518
This is my nonna. "nonna, lean back,
get your sloppy tits out of the sauce."
397
00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:32,953
[ chuckles ]
398
00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:36,123
Grandma. Lean back, grandma.
399
00:14:36,192 --> 00:14:37,924
Nonna, lean back. Lean back.
400
00:14:37,926 --> 00:14:39,393
Get your sloppy
tits out of the sauce.
401
00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:41,662
[ laughter ]
402
00:14:41,730 --> 00:14:44,131
"your grandfather didn't
think they were sloppy."
403
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,800
Your grandfather didn't
think they were sloppy.
404
00:14:46,869 --> 00:14:48,602
[ laughter ]
405
00:14:50,539 --> 00:14:51,472
Yes, she can.
406
00:14:51,540 --> 00:14:52,873
Thank you, nana.
407
00:14:52,941 --> 00:14:54,875
Thank you.
408
00:14:54,943 --> 00:14:57,011
God bless you both.
Thank you. Thank you.
409
00:14:57,079 --> 00:14:59,213
So, this is the deal.
This is so beautiful to see.
410
00:14:59,281 --> 00:15:01,882
Take one of those,
yeah. Was that done right?
411
00:15:01,950 --> 00:15:03,483
I'll stir, because
you keep getting
412
00:15:03,552 --> 00:15:05,219
Your sloppy tits in
the sauce. Sit down.
413
00:15:05,287 --> 00:15:08,155
"I have the tightest
bazingas of three counties."
414
00:15:08,224 --> 00:15:11,692
I have the tightest
bazingas in three counties.
415
00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:13,494
"the cowboys lined
up to see them."
416
00:15:13,562 --> 00:15:17,964
The cowboys lined
up to see them!
417
00:15:18,034 --> 00:15:20,835
"and I mean the cowboys,
the football team."
418
00:15:20,903 --> 00:15:23,169
I mean, the cowboys,
the football team.
419
00:15:23,171 --> 00:15:25,239
Alright, grandma!
She... what it is...
420
00:15:25,307 --> 00:15:27,107
I did the cheerleaders, too!
421
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:29,910
[ laughter ]
422
00:15:29,978 --> 00:15:31,378
Did 'em all.
423
00:15:31,447 --> 00:15:34,181
[ laughter ] [ stammering ]
424
00:15:36,052 --> 00:15:37,317
My grandmother [bleep]
the dallas cowboys
425
00:15:37,386 --> 00:15:38,719
And two cheerleaders.
426
00:15:38,787 --> 00:15:39,986
What am I gonna do?
I'm trying to sell the sauce.
427
00:15:40,056 --> 00:15:41,655
"come on, limp
[bleep], sell the sauce."
428
00:15:41,724 --> 00:15:44,791
Come on, limp
[bleep], sell the sauce.
429
00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:48,362
[ laughter ]
430
00:15:51,934 --> 00:15:54,435
Would you like a... would
you like a free sauce?
431
00:15:55,271 --> 00:15:57,804
Alright. Both: Ooohhhh!
432
00:15:57,873 --> 00:15:59,806
[ chuckles ] that's it, bud.
433
00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:01,341
Thank you, sir. Alright,
that's one for you.
434
00:16:01,410 --> 00:16:03,277
Nice try, limp [bleep].
435
00:16:03,345 --> 00:16:05,880
[ laughter ] [ buzzer ]
436
00:16:05,948 --> 00:16:08,348
Narrator: Murr and sal
were a little too saucy,
437
00:16:08,417 --> 00:16:11,685
So murr is tonight's big loser.
438
00:16:11,754 --> 00:16:13,620
Alright, murray's a loser!
439
00:16:13,689 --> 00:16:16,022
Not just because he's
dressed like this. That's right.
440
00:16:16,092 --> 00:16:17,023
You know how today
everybody has their heads
441
00:16:17,093 --> 00:16:18,959
Buried in their phones? Yeah.
442
00:16:19,027 --> 00:16:22,362
No. You want people to be in the
moment more, man. You don't like that.
443
00:16:22,431 --> 00:16:24,564
So you're gonna go out there
and force every single person
444
00:16:24,633 --> 00:16:25,899
That you see on
their phone off of it.
445
00:16:25,968 --> 00:16:27,368
Oh, ho-ho-ho!
446
00:16:28,504 --> 00:16:29,970
Q: Murr, are you in
character right now?
447
00:16:30,038 --> 00:16:32,506
I guess so. I
feel like an idiot.
448
00:16:32,574 --> 00:16:34,108
Somebody's gonna stab me, guys.
449
00:16:34,176 --> 00:16:36,777
If you die dressed as a
hacky sack cellphone activist...
450
00:16:36,845 --> 00:16:38,112
We're burying you with that.
451
00:16:38,180 --> 00:16:39,780
It wouldn't be the
worst thing in the world.
452
00:16:39,848 --> 00:16:42,182
Straight ahead. Oh, my god!
453
00:16:42,250 --> 00:16:43,984
They're on their
phone right there.
454
00:16:44,052 --> 00:16:46,787
Oh, my god, here we go.
455
00:16:46,855 --> 00:16:49,189
Oh, my god!
456
00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:51,792
Hang it up.
457
00:16:51,860 --> 00:16:53,260
Ooooh! [ chuckles nervously ]
458
00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,999
Sal: Straight ahead. They're
on their phone right there.
459
00:17:00,001 --> 00:17:03,136
Oh, my god, here we go.
460
00:17:03,205 --> 00:17:05,539
Q: Oh, my god!
461
00:17:05,607 --> 00:17:08,008
Hang it up.
462
00:17:08,077 --> 00:17:10,210
Get off the phone.
Just be in the moment.
463
00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:11,811
Get off the phone,
right? I'm on the phone.
464
00:17:11,881 --> 00:17:12,946
Don't you think? Just
get off. Be in the moment.
465
00:17:13,014 --> 00:17:14,214
Q: Oh, oh, oh!
466
00:17:14,216 --> 00:17:15,815
I'm just saying, be present
in the moment, right?
467
00:17:15,885 --> 00:17:17,084
Because you're like...
468
00:17:18,354 --> 00:17:20,153
[ laughs ]
469
00:17:20,222 --> 00:17:22,089
Within 10 seconds,
a guy tries to kill you.
470
00:17:22,157 --> 00:17:23,623
This is gonna go great.
471
00:17:23,625 --> 00:17:26,894
What the [bleep]? Oh, my god!
472
00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:28,896
By the way, like, you
didn't even succeed.
473
00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:30,230
You have to be
a little stealthier.
474
00:17:30,232 --> 00:17:31,965
That phone call
should have ended.
475
00:17:32,033 --> 00:17:34,568
You know what? You're
not hippy enough for me.
476
00:17:34,636 --> 00:17:36,436
Why don't you just
kick those sandals off?
477
00:17:36,505 --> 00:17:38,706
[ sighs ] oh, god.
478
00:17:38,774 --> 00:17:42,242
Ugh! Take a seat
for a second, buddy.
479
00:17:42,244 --> 00:17:43,710
God!
480
00:17:43,779 --> 00:17:46,379
Rub those bare feet.
Rub them bunions.
481
00:17:46,448 --> 00:17:48,648
Yeah.
482
00:17:48,717 --> 00:17:51,384
Oh, wait! The woman right
next to you is on the phone.
483
00:17:51,453 --> 00:17:54,454
[ laughter ]
484
00:17:54,523 --> 00:17:58,926
Alright, I'd like to see
one swooping motion.
485
00:17:58,994 --> 00:18:01,795
Bam! You're off the phone.
You're off! I just hung up.
486
00:18:01,863 --> 00:18:03,931
You have to be present
with me in the moment here.
487
00:18:03,999 --> 00:18:06,666
[ laughter ]
488
00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:09,536
You're addicted. It's
clear. The addiction is...
489
00:18:09,605 --> 00:18:12,706
Because I'm one with nature.
490
00:18:15,544 --> 00:18:19,613
[ laughter ]
491
00:18:19,681 --> 00:18:22,482
Oh, there you go.
This woman right here.
492
00:18:22,551 --> 00:18:25,119
Hang up the phone. You're
addicted to it. Hang it up.
493
00:18:26,888 --> 00:18:28,488
Just, you're so addicted.
494
00:18:28,557 --> 00:18:30,890
You can't even
see it. I can, clearly.
495
00:18:30,892 --> 00:18:32,292
Am I the only
one that sees? Sir.
496
00:18:32,294 --> 00:18:34,294
I'm sorry. I'm sorry,
ma'am. I will call right back.
497
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:36,763
I have no clue what's going
on in front of me right now.
498
00:18:36,832 --> 00:18:39,166
[ laughter ]
499
00:18:39,234 --> 00:18:40,567
Mind your business.
500
00:18:40,636 --> 00:18:42,102
You don't even know what
kind of cloth you've got on.
501
00:18:42,171 --> 00:18:44,037
It's african. You're
trying to be like us.
502
00:18:44,106 --> 00:18:47,141
[ laughter ]
503
00:18:48,577 --> 00:18:51,578
But aren't we having a
distinct human moment?
504
00:18:51,647 --> 00:18:52,646
Isn't this so much
better than the phone
505
00:18:52,714 --> 00:18:54,782
That you were just on, ma'am?
506
00:18:54,850 --> 00:18:56,850
I was trying to help. I
wasn't doing anything.
507
00:18:59,855 --> 00:19:01,989
[ laughter ] oh, shit.
508
00:19:02,057 --> 00:19:03,991
Pull your phone out. Start
pretending to talk on it.
509
00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:06,793
[ chuckles nervously ]
510
00:19:06,862 --> 00:19:10,664
Yeah, hey, I'm gonna be,
like, a half hour late later.
511
00:19:10,732 --> 00:19:12,366
I'm on a work call. One second.
512
00:19:19,808 --> 00:19:20,874
But I need my phone.
513
00:19:20,942 --> 00:19:22,542
I'm on a work... Yes!
514
00:19:22,611 --> 00:19:24,143
Wait a second,
ma'am. I'm on a work...
515
00:19:24,145 --> 00:19:25,185
I'm on a work call though.
516
00:19:26,081 --> 00:19:27,547
But I'm...
517
00:19:27,616 --> 00:19:28,982
But I'm on an
important work call.
518
00:19:31,020 --> 00:19:33,820
This is, but this is... Just
one second, one second.
519
00:19:33,889 --> 00:19:35,689
You're not even on the phone. One
second, one second, it's a work call.
520
00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:36,890
They hung up. They hung up.
521
00:19:36,958 --> 00:19:38,392
They hung up. [ laughter ]
522
00:19:41,697 --> 00:19:42,896
Murr, see that
woman on the phone
523
00:19:42,964 --> 00:19:44,898
Sitting on the bench
over there? Yeah.
524
00:19:44,966 --> 00:19:47,768
Without a word, get this
woman to put her phone away.
525
00:19:49,971 --> 00:19:51,905
♪♪
526
00:19:51,973 --> 00:19:54,041
[ laughter ]
527
00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:58,578
♪♪
528
00:19:58,580 --> 00:20:01,781
[ laughter ]
529
00:20:01,850 --> 00:20:04,317
♪♪
530
00:20:04,386 --> 00:20:07,654
[ laughter ]
531
00:20:07,723 --> 00:20:09,789
Murr, alright. Unplug
her charger then.
532
00:20:09,791 --> 00:20:17,791
♪♪
533
00:20:17,999 --> 00:20:18,999
There you go.
534
00:20:20,335 --> 00:20:22,135
Oh, shit, murr! Oh! Oh!
535
00:20:22,204 --> 00:20:24,204
Didn't know that.
536
00:20:24,273 --> 00:20:27,006
Uh-oh! Uh-oh!
537
00:20:27,076 --> 00:20:30,744
Oh, she's coming to you now.
538
00:20:30,812 --> 00:20:32,513
Is she taking a
picture of you? She is.
539
00:20:34,216 --> 00:20:36,349
[ laughs nervously ]
540
00:20:36,418 --> 00:20:39,218
I'm about to go missing? Uh-oh.
541
00:20:39,220 --> 00:20:40,888
[ laughter ]
542
00:20:40,956 --> 00:20:42,489
Who wants to go kidnap murray?
543
00:20:42,557 --> 00:20:44,237
Mike? Man: Get the
security guard to do it.
544
00:20:45,761 --> 00:20:47,827
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
545
00:20:47,896 --> 00:20:49,763
What are you
doing?! [ laughter ]
546
00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:51,498
I'm not gonna go missing!
547
00:20:51,567 --> 00:20:53,700
I don't want to go missing!
548
00:20:53,769 --> 00:20:56,169
She's outta here.
549
00:20:56,237 --> 00:20:58,705
She's the one addicted
to her cellphone!
550
00:20:58,774 --> 00:21:00,173
Are you kidding me?!
551
00:21:00,241 --> 00:21:02,081
Murr, that's it, bud.
You're done. [ laughter ]
552
00:21:02,161 --> 00:21:04,161
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