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1
00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:12,010
Narrator: Coming up, what's got
q revealing his dinner secrets?
2
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:16,748
[ as bane ] well, typically,
I feast in darkness.
3
00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:18,283
[ laughter ]
4
00:00:18,285 --> 00:00:20,752
Why is sal such a bawler?
5
00:00:20,754 --> 00:00:22,154
[ voice breaking ]
okay, bye.
6
00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:24,356
Are you
actually crying?
He's actually crying.
7
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:25,624
Narrator:
And which losing joker
8
00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:28,560
Will get alliterated
in tonight's poetic punishment?
9
00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:32,364
"bam!"
[ laughter ]
10
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:34,767
Sal:
Prepare for something amazing.
11
00:00:34,769 --> 00:00:35,834
Q: Hey, mustache, what's up?
12
00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:37,702
[ laughter ]
13
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:39,171
Murr: Like a boss!
14
00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:40,973
[ laughter ]
15
00:00:40,975 --> 00:00:43,842
Sal:
I will never forgive you!
16
00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:45,910
Joe: Larry!
17
00:00:45,912 --> 00:00:47,179
[ laughter ]
18
00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:50,048
Sal:
"I'm the party pup."
19
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,184
Alright, today,
we're at dekalb market hall
20
00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:54,252
Where we'll be
sitting alongside strangers
21
00:00:54,254 --> 00:00:56,388
Answering questions
for a fake "documentary."
22
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:57,990
The documentary
will be filmed by our crew,
23
00:00:57,992 --> 00:00:59,124
And all we have to do
24
00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:00,258
Is answer the questions
without laughing.
25
00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:02,861
The catch is our
answers will be given to us
26
00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:03,862
By the other guys.
27
00:01:03,864 --> 00:01:06,198
Whoever
laughs the most loses.
28
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:09,134
♪♪
29
00:01:09,136 --> 00:01:10,869
Here we go,
boys.
30
00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:12,337
Sal: We've played
this game before.
31
00:01:12,339 --> 00:01:14,739
We are participating in
a "fake documentary."
32
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:16,274
Joe: This is
our real crew out there.
33
00:01:16,276 --> 00:01:17,476
This is pete,
our producer.
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00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,344
You know, obviously,
the person to our right
35
00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:21,279
Does not know
what's going on.
36
00:01:21,281 --> 00:01:23,682
Pete: So, I want to begin
with cole.
37
00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:25,484
Describe
your workout routine.
38
00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:27,686
I guess
just some cardio,
39
00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:28,620
But that's about it.
40
00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:31,089
Brian,
describe your workout routine.
41
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:32,557
"so, I do dip-dups..."
42
00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:33,758
So,
I do dip-dups..."
43
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:34,893
"...Bang-a-rangs..."
...Bang-a-rangs...
44
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:36,361
"...A set of jangles..."
...A set of jangles...
45
00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:37,962
"...Shups and cruns..."
...Shups and crumbs...
46
00:01:37,964 --> 00:01:39,297
"...Dips and squats..."
...Dips and squats...
47
00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:40,833
"...Jacks and lungees."
...Jacks and lungees.
48
00:01:40,835 --> 00:01:42,367
Sal: "then I strip down
to my charlies..."
49
00:01:42,369 --> 00:01:44,102
Then I strip down
to the charlies.
50
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,570
"...Then jog in place
till I crap myself."
51
00:01:45,572 --> 00:01:47,506
Then I just...
[ chuckles ]
52
00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:49,508
[ laughter ]
53
00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:52,577
Then on the treadmill,
I jog in place...
54
00:01:52,579 --> 00:01:53,645
♪♪
55
00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:55,780
...Till I crap myself.
56
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,850
[ laughter ]
57
00:01:57,852 --> 00:01:59,051
Pete: Cole.
[ chuckling ] yes.
58
00:01:59,053 --> 00:02:02,387
What's the most exotic cuisine
you've ever tried?
59
00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:04,923
Probably the most exotic
is cactus.
60
00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:05,924
Brian?
61
00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:08,060
Murr: "once when
I was in college..."
62
00:02:08,062 --> 00:02:10,262
Well, once when
I was in college...
63
00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:12,264
"...I ate
some puerto rican kid's ashes."
64
00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:13,732
...I was in frat
65
00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:17,670
And accidentally ate
some puerto rican kid's ashes.
66
00:02:17,672 --> 00:02:20,605
[ laughter ]
67
00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:23,475
Cole, walk us through
your ideal dining experience.
68
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,277
Ideal dining experience?
69
00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:26,278
[ coughs ]
70
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,080
You're in trouble.
He's dancing.
71
00:02:28,082 --> 00:02:29,414
Sal's dancing
back here.
72
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:31,416
Brian?
Sal: Okay, ready?
73
00:02:31,418 --> 00:02:33,618
In a bane voice,
say,
74
00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:36,221
[as bane] "typically,
I feast in darkness."
75
00:02:36,223 --> 00:02:38,891
Ideal dining experience?
76
00:02:38,893 --> 00:02:41,894
[ as bane ]
well, um...
77
00:02:41,896 --> 00:02:46,231
Typically,
I feast in darkness.
78
00:02:46,233 --> 00:02:47,766
[ laughter ]
79
00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:49,902
I thought
I was gonna get him!
80
00:02:49,904 --> 00:02:53,438
Alright, brian, you describe
your personal style.
81
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:56,975
"oh, aging basic-cable
reality star with cool hats."
82
00:02:56,977 --> 00:02:58,977
Yeah. [ laughs ]
83
00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:00,779
Murr: Got him!
84
00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:05,383
I'm gonna say
aging basic-cable reality star
85
00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:07,385
With cool hats.
86
00:03:07,387 --> 00:03:08,386
Yep.
87
00:03:08,388 --> 00:03:09,588
[ laughter ]
88
00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:10,589
Thank you so much.
That's it?
89
00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:11,990
That's it.
Good job, q.
90
00:03:11,992 --> 00:03:13,926
Wasn't my best showing,
I'll tell you that much.
91
00:03:13,928 --> 00:03:14,927
[ ding! ]
92
00:03:14,929 --> 00:03:16,261
[ laughter ]
93
00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:19,197
So, we're gonna be talking
about relationships.
94
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,532
Stanley,
what would you say --
95
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,801
What are the attributes
of a healthy relationship?
96
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:25,003
Just listening.
97
00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:26,271
Joe?
98
00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:28,406
"relationships are,
you know, 90% mental..."
99
00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:30,475
Relationships are
90% mental...
100
00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:32,210
"...10% physical..."
...10% physical...
101
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,678
"after my
horse accident..."
102
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:35,547
I mean,
after my horse accident...
103
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,282
"...It was
zero percent physical
104
00:03:37,284 --> 00:03:38,550
Until
my walnuts re-descended."
105
00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,085
...It was
zero percent physical
106
00:03:40,087 --> 00:03:42,554
Until I got the walnuts
back down.
107
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,022
They re-descended.
108
00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:45,157
[ laughter ]
109
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,561
Stanley,
describe the best trip
110
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,229
You've taken
with a partner.
111
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,498
What we did
was we went to the movies.
112
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:55,768
We went to trader joe's
and we got a bottle of wine
113
00:03:55,770 --> 00:03:58,771
And we drank it at chipotle,
and we went to...
114
00:03:58,773 --> 00:04:00,505
Q:
Look at joe.
115
00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:01,440
...A reiki.
116
00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:02,574
Joe?
117
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,643
Oh, man.
"it was in Italy."
118
00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:05,644
I was in Italy.
119
00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:07,712
"I just don't remember
exactly where."
120
00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:10,114
I don't remember
exactly where in Italy.
121
00:04:10,116 --> 00:04:11,183
"naples?"
122
00:04:11,185 --> 00:04:12,317
I think the area
was a little confusing.
123
00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:13,318
It was in naples...
124
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:14,653
Sal:
"or bibity dibity..."
125
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:17,189
Or it could've been bib--
could've been bibity dibity.
126
00:04:17,191 --> 00:04:20,258
It was either
eastern napledon...
127
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,060
"you know
that stupid [bleep] boot?"
128
00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:24,729
You know
there's a stupid [bleep] boot,
129
00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:26,264
And it's kicking --
130
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,133
It's basically
the [bleep] heel here.
131
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:30,335
But it was --
the scenery, you can't beat.
132
00:04:30,337 --> 00:04:32,137
"I told you about
my dick nuts, right?"
133
00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:35,307
[ laughter ]
134
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:38,677
Call 'em dick nuts.
135
00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:41,146
[ laughter ]
136
00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:44,616
I told you guys
about my dick nuts, right?
137
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,485
[ laughter ]
138
00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:49,221
Sal's down!
139
00:04:49,223 --> 00:04:51,423
I'm sorry, I was
a little roundabout, but Italy.
140
00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:52,891
[ laughter ]
141
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:54,026
Joe.
Yeah.
142
00:04:54,028 --> 00:04:56,294
What do you think is
your most attractive quality?
143
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,363
"once they drop..."
once they drop...
144
00:04:58,365 --> 00:04:59,832
"...My dick nuts
are great."
145
00:04:59,834 --> 00:05:01,867
[ laughs ]
146
00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:05,838
On--
147
00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:07,773
Pete,
once they drop...
148
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,709
...My dick nuts
will be great.
149
00:05:10,711 --> 00:05:11,976
[ chuckles ]
150
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:14,179
There we go!
151
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:16,114
Took forever.
152
00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:19,451
So, joe, now, tell me about
your best valentine's day.
153
00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:20,919
"February 14, 2012..."
154
00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:23,121
I would say
February 14, 2012...
155
00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:24,789
"...My girlfriend at the time
died."
156
00:05:24,791 --> 00:05:26,791
...My girlfriend at the time
had passed away.
157
00:05:26,793 --> 00:05:28,460
"thanks for bringing it up,
mcfartland."
158
00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:30,462
Thanks for bringing it up,
mcfartland.
159
00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:31,530
[ laughter ]
160
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:35,333
Pete --
pete mcfartland.
161
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,535
[ laughter ]
162
00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:37,469
Pete mcfar--
163
00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:38,937
Pete mcfartland
is on your license.
164
00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:40,205
Can you say
"pete mcfartland"?
165
00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:41,673
Pete: Don't say it.
Don't say it.
166
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,742
Stanley,
don't you [bleep] say it.
167
00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:44,677
[ laughter ]
168
00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:48,346
Alright, joe,
go grow some dick nuts.
169
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:49,281
[ laughter ]
170
00:05:49,283 --> 00:05:50,749
[ ding! ]
171
00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:52,685
Joe: Here we go,
boys.
172
00:05:52,687 --> 00:05:55,220
Uh, mary,
what do you do to relax?
173
00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:57,155
I don't.
[ laughs ]
174
00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:59,224
That's the short answer.
175
00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:01,093
James,
what do you do to relax?
176
00:06:01,095 --> 00:06:02,160
"I blindfold myself..."
177
00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:03,228
I blindfold myself...
178
00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:04,496
"...And play the trumpet
to my plants."
179
00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,698
...And play the trumpet
to my plants.
180
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,901
Sal:
Look at her face.
181
00:06:08,903 --> 00:06:10,102
[ laughter ]
182
00:06:10,104 --> 00:06:12,304
Describe
your ideal roommate.
183
00:06:12,306 --> 00:06:13,305
Mary.
184
00:06:13,307 --> 00:06:15,039
I guess, like,
ideally,
185
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:18,042
My roommate would just be,
like, a dog by itself.
186
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,311
James.
187
00:06:19,313 --> 00:06:20,979
"literally any age..."
188
00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:22,514
Literally any age...
189
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:23,515
Q:
"...Any race..."
190
00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:24,717
...Any race...
"...Any career..."
191
00:06:24,719 --> 00:06:26,251
...Any career...
"...But ideally..."
192
00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:27,119
...But ideally...
193
00:06:27,121 --> 00:06:28,253
"...A young
white banker."
194
00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:30,589
...A young
white banker.
195
00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:31,790
[ laughter ]
196
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,258
Ideally.
197
00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:34,192
Yeah, yeah.
198
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:36,194
Q:
Wow, murr!
199
00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:38,530
James,
describe your workout routine.
200
00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:39,998
Joe: Get offended.
Get offended, murr.
201
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,467
Why do you want to know
my workout routine?
202
00:06:42,469 --> 00:06:44,202
Like,
I'm not answering that.
203
00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:45,337
That's too personal.
204
00:06:45,339 --> 00:06:47,139
[ laughter ]
205
00:06:47,141 --> 00:06:49,674
Pete, describe your worst
relationship right now.
206
00:06:49,676 --> 00:06:50,875
Murray,
jump in on it.
207
00:06:50,877 --> 00:06:52,611
Uh, describe your
worst relationship.
208
00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:53,878
Oh,
that's easy.
209
00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:56,348
It was samantha from atlanta.
She was intolerable.
210
00:06:56,350 --> 00:06:57,750
[ laughter ]
211
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:00,753
Let me tell you,
she had the worst habits.
212
00:07:00,755 --> 00:07:02,287
"we weren't
sexually compatible."
213
00:07:02,289 --> 00:07:03,555
We weren't
sexually compatible.
214
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:04,556
"I was an outie."
215
00:07:04,558 --> 00:07:07,025
I was an out--
[ chuckles ]
216
00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:08,160
[ laughter ]
217
00:07:08,162 --> 00:07:10,095
Oh, we got him!
218
00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:11,896
Okay, james,
we'll stick with you.
219
00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:13,165
What do you do
for fun?
220
00:07:13,167 --> 00:07:14,499
What do I do
for fun?
221
00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:15,834
"I've been
weakening the glass
222
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:17,169
At the
coney island aquarium."
223
00:07:17,171 --> 00:07:21,306
[ laughter ]
224
00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:24,309
I've -- I've been
slowly weakening the glass
225
00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:26,110
At the
coney island aquarium.
226
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,112
[ laughter ]
227
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:28,180
Look at her!
228
00:07:28,182 --> 00:07:31,583
"every day,
I tap the same spot 200 times."
229
00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:35,788
Every day,
I tap the same spot 200 times.
230
00:07:35,790 --> 00:07:37,189
"I'm gonna kill
that [bleep] manatee
231
00:07:37,191 --> 00:07:38,390
If it's the last thing
I do."
232
00:07:38,392 --> 00:07:41,259
[ laughter ]
233
00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:42,461
Got him again!
234
00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:44,196
I'm gonna kill
that [bleep] manatee
235
00:07:44,198 --> 00:07:46,332
If it's the last thing
I do.
236
00:07:47,534 --> 00:07:49,201
Pete: Alright,
we're done here.
237
00:07:49,203 --> 00:07:51,069
Oh, well,
that was easy.
238
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,805
[ ding! ]
239
00:07:52,807 --> 00:07:54,206
Alright.
240
00:07:54,208 --> 00:07:55,273
Murr:
Here we go.
241
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:56,941
So, this is
"voices of brooklyn."
242
00:07:56,943 --> 00:07:59,077
Pete: We're gonna be
talking about relationships.
243
00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:01,613
Tyrone,
describe your ideal date.
244
00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:04,082
Uh, meeting someplace,
probably for dinner.
245
00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:06,551
Q: Hey, sal, take a look
at your cameraman today,
246
00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:08,353
See if you notice anything
on your --
247
00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:10,489
[ laughter ]
248
00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:14,693
Murr: Good luck
keeping a straight face now.
249
00:08:16,762 --> 00:08:19,999
Q: Hey, sal, take a look
at your cameraman today.
250
00:08:20,001 --> 00:08:21,867
[ laughter ]
251
00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:24,936
Murr: Good luck
keeping a straight face now
252
00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:27,072
Because baby blue is
staring at you the whole time.
253
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:29,474
How about you,
sal?
254
00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:30,742
Describe your ideal date.
255
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:33,212
Murr: "I just want someone
to crack my back."
256
00:08:33,214 --> 00:08:34,146
Um...
257
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,682
[ laughter ]
258
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:42,021
Joe's eating
a banana!
259
00:08:42,023 --> 00:08:44,690
Just want someone to, like,
crack my back, you know?
260
00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:46,191
I'll crack it.
261
00:08:47,228 --> 00:08:49,895
[ laughter ]
262
00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:52,564
Tyrone, what would you say
is your most attractive quality?
263
00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:55,567
Probably my
outgoing character.
264
00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:58,637
Sal, what do you think is
your most attractive quality?
265
00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:01,106
"uh, I'm like
the ellis island of sex."
266
00:09:01,108 --> 00:09:02,507
Well,
I've been called --
267
00:09:02,509 --> 00:09:04,175
I'm like
the ellis island of sex.
268
00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:06,311
Q: "I'll get busy
with any filthy specimen
269
00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:07,846
That washes up
on my shores."
270
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:09,180
[ laughs ]
271
00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:10,683
[ laughter ]
272
00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:14,052
As far as
where my relationships go,
273
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,186
I don't discriminate.
274
00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:16,788
Stop saying
other words!
275
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:18,723
"I'll have sex
with any filthy specimen..."
276
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,525
You know...
277
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:22,861
Look at joe.
278
00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:23,929
...I'll have relations
279
00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:25,464
With any specimen,
really, that...
280
00:09:25,466 --> 00:09:26,798
"filthy specimen."
281
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:29,400
You know,
any filthy specimen
282
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:31,002
That washes up
on my shores, really.
283
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:33,538
I'm just
a people lover.
284
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:35,874
"filthy people lover."
285
00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:37,076
"I'm a filthy
people lover."
286
00:09:37,078 --> 00:09:38,409
[ laughter ]
287
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:40,479
A filthy
people lover.
288
00:09:40,481 --> 00:09:41,746
[ laughter ]
289
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,815
Q: He looks
genuinely uncomfortable.
290
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:45,484
You look miserable
right now.
291
00:09:45,486 --> 00:09:47,286
Joe's getting warm.
292
00:09:47,288 --> 00:09:49,020
Oh, no.
293
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:51,356
This is
the last question.
294
00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:55,827
Tell me about
your best valentine's day.
295
00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:58,097
Look at the top
he's got on!
What is that,
a camisole?
296
00:09:58,099 --> 00:10:00,632
[ laughter ]
297
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:03,168
A little warm,
huh?
298
00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:04,435
It's hot as shit
in here.
299
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,838
[ laughter ]
300
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,107
Murr:
That's a laugh.
301
00:10:08,109 --> 00:10:10,575
Pete: Sal, would you like
to take this one?
302
00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:12,111
Yeah, I-I don't --
I don't --
303
00:10:12,113 --> 00:10:14,179
I don't celebrate
valentine's day.
304
00:10:14,181 --> 00:10:16,181
[ laughter ]
305
00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:17,116
That's it.
306
00:10:17,118 --> 00:10:19,184
Should we have
been recording?
307
00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:21,653
Wait, what?
You didn't roll yet?
308
00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:22,988
I thought
this was a rehearsal.
309
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:24,723
That wasn't a rehearsal
for me.
310
00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:25,857
[ laughter ]
311
00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:27,258
[ buzzer ]
312
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:30,129
Narrator: Unfortunately for sal,
this was no rehearsal.
313
00:10:30,131 --> 00:10:32,131
He's first up
on the loser board.
314
00:10:32,133 --> 00:10:34,466
Today, we'll be sitting
in a waiting room
315
00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:37,002
Having over-the-top arguments
on our cellphones.
316
00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:38,269
After we hang up,
317
00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:40,005
We'll be given the reason
that we were so upset.
318
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:42,607
The goal is to convince
the other person waiting
319
00:10:42,609 --> 00:10:44,943
That you
did not overreact!
320
00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:47,813
If they think you overreacted,
you lose.
321
00:10:47,815 --> 00:10:49,014
[bleep]
aah!
322
00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:51,950
♪♪
323
00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:53,952
Joe: Here we go.
Alright, murr, you ready?
324
00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:55,154
Ready to go.
325
00:10:55,156 --> 00:10:56,755
So, murr's just gonna have to
flip out a little bit
326
00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:58,623
And see if
his fight is justified.
327
00:10:58,625 --> 00:10:59,624
Nice to meet you.
328
00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:01,426
You can grab a spot
right there.
329
00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:02,694
I'm gonna
go get the client,
330
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,696
And he should be down
in just a second.
331
00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:06,165
Do these things often?
332
00:11:06,167 --> 00:11:08,700
A couple times,
but always in a city, you know?
333
00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:10,369
Never --
oh, okay.
Never out here?
334
00:11:10,371 --> 00:11:11,770
I'm just having a health issue
right now.
335
00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:12,771
I'm feeling
very lightheaded.
336
00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:13,772
Are you really?
Yeah.
337
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:15,106
Uh-oh.
338
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:17,242
You think it was that king-sized
cheesecake you just ate?
339
00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:19,244
No, no,
that made me feel good.
340
00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:20,445
Might need
to double down on it.
341
00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:21,780
We need 10 ccs of cheesecake,
stat!
342
00:11:21,782 --> 00:11:23,648
10 ccs of cheesecake!
343
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:25,184
Marisa!
344
00:11:25,186 --> 00:11:26,185
What's going on?
345
00:11:26,187 --> 00:11:27,919
Joe: Guys, murr's already
into it. Just go.
346
00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:30,321
This is --
this is the reality?
This is
what we're doing.
347
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:32,257
Go get 'em, murr!
348
00:11:32,259 --> 00:11:33,592
[ gags ]
349
00:11:33,594 --> 00:11:35,660
Murr, we're just gonna do this
while joe gets checked out --
350
00:11:35,662 --> 00:11:36,795
Remember me, murr!
351
00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:38,329
Win for me!
...Emts.
352
00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:39,198
You sure?
353
00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:40,866
Gonna bring up
pictures of my children.
354
00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:42,267
[ laughter ]
alright.
355
00:11:42,269 --> 00:11:44,603
Is it getting --
is it getting bright in here?
356
00:11:44,605 --> 00:11:45,737
Q:
Alright, we're good.
357
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,272
Go ahead, murr,
start your argument.
358
00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:49,274
Hello?
That's insane.
359
00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:51,210
Why would you even
think that?
360
00:11:51,212 --> 00:11:53,478
She's in.
Why would you
say that?
361
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:55,280
I can't believe you would think
that I would do that.
362
00:11:55,282 --> 00:11:57,749
What -- why?
What's going through your head?
363
00:11:57,751 --> 00:11:59,751
I can't do
anything about it now.
364
00:11:59,753 --> 00:12:01,553
I'm done
with the conversation.
Are you okay?
365
00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:03,555
I'm done with the conversation.
We'll talk about it tonight.
366
00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:05,424
Goodbye.
367
00:12:05,426 --> 00:12:07,025
Everything's okay?
368
00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:08,493
"well, fella,
I'm engaged."
369
00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:10,295
[ laughter ]
370
00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:15,434
Well, fella,
I'm engaged.
371
00:12:15,436 --> 00:12:16,702
You -- oh.
372
00:12:16,704 --> 00:12:18,770
I can't believe
I'm engaged.
373
00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:20,371
[ laughter ]
374
00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:22,641
Who proposes over the phone?
I was kind of forced into it.
375
00:12:22,643 --> 00:12:24,443
Wait, wait, time-out.
376
00:12:24,445 --> 00:12:26,044
Did you just say
you proposed over the phone?
377
00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:27,046
[ laughter ]
378
00:12:27,048 --> 00:12:29,314
I was just forced into
getting engaged.
379
00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:30,849
Did I overreact,
fella?
380
00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:31,850
No.
No!
381
00:12:31,852 --> 00:12:33,652
Oh,
he didn't overreact.
382
00:12:33,654 --> 00:12:34,653
He did it!
383
00:12:34,655 --> 00:12:36,788
I probably would've reacted
that way, too.
384
00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:37,923
Anybody would've reacted
the same way.
385
00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:38,924
Joe:
Great job, buddy.
386
00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:40,058
You okay?
387
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:41,526
Yeah, she said it was
a sugar crash.
388
00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:42,661
Q:
So we were right.
389
00:12:42,663 --> 00:12:45,130
He ate so much cheesecake
so fast,
390
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:47,666
Two paramedics had to come
and tell him he was okay.
391
00:12:47,668 --> 00:12:48,734
[ laughter ]
392
00:12:48,736 --> 00:12:52,403
He ate this much cake --
the size of my hand.
393
00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:54,606
We only had a 10-minute break
and I had to go.
394
00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:56,808
I'm so glad
the evidence is still here.
395
00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:59,811
And then, I mean,
it was moments --
396
00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:02,881
It was moments
before he went,
397
00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:04,816
"oh,
something's not right."
398
00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:07,686
[ laughing ]
399
00:13:07,688 --> 00:13:11,090
This is like
11,000 calories!
400
00:13:11,092 --> 00:13:13,959
Jesus almost gave me
the big thumbs-down.
401
00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:16,427
Murr: Here we go,
buddy.
402
00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:17,963
Cole, before you leave, say,
"my name's joffrey.
403
00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:19,430
I will return."
404
00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:21,767
Um,
my name is joffrey,
405
00:13:21,769 --> 00:13:23,768
And I-I will return.
406
00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,036
Okay.
407
00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:26,705
[ laughter ]
408
00:13:26,707 --> 00:13:28,440
Man,
he delivers a line!
409
00:13:28,442 --> 00:13:29,908
Sorry.
410
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:31,376
Hello?
411
00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:32,778
Hey.
412
00:13:32,780 --> 00:13:34,780
No, no, no, no.
Not again.
413
00:13:34,782 --> 00:13:37,182
This is not how I do things.
We talked about this.
414
00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:39,784
This is not how I do things,
and you're the problem.
415
00:13:39,786 --> 00:13:40,919
Okay, not me.
416
00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:43,588
Fine. Alright.
417
00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:44,723
[ phone thuds ]
418
00:13:44,725 --> 00:13:45,724
[ sighs ]
419
00:13:45,726 --> 00:13:46,925
You okay?
420
00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:48,393
Murr:
"my super-hot wife
421
00:13:48,395 --> 00:13:50,662
Just spent all her allowance
on lingerie again."
422
00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:52,831
[ laughter ]
423
00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:58,804
My super-hot wife
424
00:13:58,806 --> 00:14:02,741
Just spent all her allowance
on lingerie again.
425
00:14:02,743 --> 00:14:04,475
So...
426
00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:06,077
[ laughter ]
427
00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:09,348
I know --
believe me.
428
00:14:09,350 --> 00:14:11,817
Look,
I give her an allowance.
429
00:14:11,819 --> 00:14:12,818
"$1,000 a week."
430
00:14:12,820 --> 00:14:14,553
It's not much.
It's, you know, a pittance.
431
00:14:14,555 --> 00:14:15,620
It's about
$1,000 a week,
432
00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:17,288
And she blows it
on lingerie.
433
00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:19,825
And I'm always coming home
and she's in some sexy lingerie.
434
00:14:19,827 --> 00:14:21,292
She's doing it
for you.
435
00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:23,762
"it's her allowance,
but I won't allow it."
436
00:14:23,764 --> 00:14:26,965
It's her allowance,
but I won't allow it.
437
00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:28,233
[ laughs ]
438
00:14:28,235 --> 00:14:29,768
[ laughter ]
439
00:14:29,770 --> 00:14:31,370
Did I overreact?
440
00:14:31,372 --> 00:14:33,772
Maybe a little,
yeah.
441
00:14:33,774 --> 00:14:35,040
[ laughter ]
442
00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:37,642
Sal:
You had no chance.
Murr: No chance.
443
00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:39,244
Q:
Here we go.
444
00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:40,579
Oh, hey.
445
00:14:40,581 --> 00:14:42,381
How are you?
446
00:14:42,383 --> 00:14:44,483
[ chuckles ] great.
447
00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:48,887
[ laughter ]
448
00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:51,523
Okay,
when it's my turn to respond,
449
00:14:51,525 --> 00:14:53,124
I guess
you'll just let me know.
450
00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:54,926
Ooh.
Oh!
451
00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:57,196
No, you listen. I let you talk,
now you listen to me, okay?
452
00:14:57,198 --> 00:14:59,330
This is the last time I'm gonna
let you do it. The last time!
453
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:00,399
Murr:
Hang up.
454
00:15:00,401 --> 00:15:02,734
Enough's enough
with it.
455
00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:04,736
"nana's making
[bleep] spaghetti again."
456
00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:10,042
[ laughter ]
457
00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:13,845
Joe:
No, you listen.
458
00:15:13,847 --> 00:15:15,246
I let you talk,
now you listen to me, okay?
459
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:17,116
This is the last time I'm gonna
let you do it. The last time!
460
00:15:17,118 --> 00:15:18,249
Murr:
Hang up.
461
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:19,918
Enough's enough
with it.
462
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,720
"nana's making
[bleep] spaghetti again."
463
00:15:21,722 --> 00:15:24,256
[ laughter ]
464
00:15:27,728 --> 00:15:30,129
My nana's making
[bleep] spaghetti again.
465
00:15:30,131 --> 00:15:32,598
[ laughter ]
466
00:15:34,535 --> 00:15:37,536
How many pounds of spaghetti
does a guy got to eat?
467
00:15:37,538 --> 00:15:38,937
"look what spaghetti
has made of me."
468
00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:40,539
Murr: "look what it's done
to me."
469
00:15:40,541 --> 00:15:42,341
I just can't say no
to the spaghetti.
470
00:15:42,343 --> 00:15:44,676
You see what it's done to me
after all the years.
471
00:15:44,678 --> 00:15:46,011
"I'm in my mid-50s.
472
00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:49,348
I can't be eating spaghetti
like this all the time."
473
00:15:49,350 --> 00:15:50,415
I'm in my mid-50s.
474
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:51,883
I can't be
eating spaghetti like this.
475
00:15:51,885 --> 00:15:53,685
How much longer
do you think I got?
476
00:15:53,687 --> 00:15:54,686
You don't look it.
477
00:15:54,688 --> 00:15:56,355
I don't look it?
Oh, thanks, man.
478
00:15:56,357 --> 00:15:57,823
Hey! Alright!
479
00:15:57,825 --> 00:15:59,558
Did I overreact?
480
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:01,292
Uh...
481
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,562
Maybe a little bit.
482
00:16:03,564 --> 00:16:05,164
[ laughter ]
483
00:16:05,166 --> 00:16:07,166
Joey gatto goes down!
484
00:16:07,168 --> 00:16:10,169
Uh, yes, we're ready
for the 60-year-old.
485
00:16:10,171 --> 00:16:11,302
[ laughter ]
486
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,172
[ buzzer ]
487
00:16:13,174 --> 00:16:14,973
Joe: Alright, sal,
you're up.
488
00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:16,175
Hello,
how are you?
489
00:16:16,177 --> 00:16:17,843
What's your name?
Lee.
490
00:16:17,845 --> 00:16:19,644
Lee.
You can grab a seat.
491
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,312
Joe: Wait till
it gets quiet, cole,
492
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:23,315
And then all of a sudden go,
"I'm joffrey!"
493
00:16:25,519 --> 00:16:27,386
I'm joffrey!
494
00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:30,422
[ laughter ]
495
00:16:35,128 --> 00:16:36,461
Oh, my god!
496
00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:38,730
Oh!
Oh, my god!
497
00:16:38,732 --> 00:16:39,731
Just about ready.
498
00:16:39,733 --> 00:16:40,932
I'm gonna go see
499
00:16:40,934 --> 00:16:41,867
And make sure
they come to the right room.
500
00:16:41,869 --> 00:16:43,668
♪♪
501
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:47,338
Javier bardem in
"did I overreact?"
502
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,408
Hello.
503
00:16:50,744 --> 00:16:53,344
Yeah, I-I'll be about
another half-hour maybe.
504
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,047
What?
505
00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:58,617
[ voice breaking ]
are you serious?
506
00:16:58,619 --> 00:16:59,751
[ laughter ]
507
00:16:59,753 --> 00:17:01,286
[ sniffles ] why would you
tell me this right now?
508
00:17:01,288 --> 00:17:02,421
I'm at work.
509
00:17:02,423 --> 00:17:03,755
Murr:
Oh, man.
510
00:17:03,757 --> 00:17:05,891
Well,
I'm very upset about it.
511
00:17:05,893 --> 00:17:07,092
He's crying.
512
00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:09,360
He's cry--
are you actually crying?
513
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,629
He's actually crying.
514
00:17:10,631 --> 00:17:14,099
[ sniffles ]
okay, bye.
515
00:17:14,101 --> 00:17:15,767
Oh, man.
516
00:17:15,769 --> 00:17:17,436
Are you okay?
517
00:17:17,438 --> 00:17:18,637
"it might rain tomorrow."
518
00:17:18,639 --> 00:17:22,274
[ laughter ]
519
00:17:23,911 --> 00:17:26,245
It might rain tomorrow.
520
00:17:26,247 --> 00:17:27,246
[ laughter ]
521
00:17:27,248 --> 00:17:29,781
It's raining right now.
522
00:17:29,783 --> 00:17:31,483
It's raining now!
That's the funny part.
523
00:17:32,653 --> 00:17:34,986
Where am I gonna find
an umbrella at this hour?
524
00:17:34,988 --> 00:17:36,722
[ laughter ]
525
00:17:36,724 --> 00:17:39,057
Don't worry,
I have like five in my car.
526
00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:40,592
You'd lend me
your umbrella?
527
00:17:40,594 --> 00:17:42,394
You can actually
keep it.
528
00:17:42,396 --> 00:17:44,195
I can keep
your umbrella?
529
00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:45,064
[ laughter ]
530
00:17:45,066 --> 00:17:46,598
[ laughing ]
that's the nicest thing
531
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:49,200
Anyone's ever said
to me.
532
00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:51,270
[ laughter ]
533
00:17:51,272 --> 00:17:53,572
He's losing it!
534
00:17:56,277 --> 00:17:59,144
Oh, man.
535
00:17:59,146 --> 00:18:01,380
Do you think
I overreacted?
536
00:18:02,616 --> 00:18:04,816
[ laughs ]
537
00:18:04,818 --> 00:18:05,951
[ laughter ]
538
00:18:05,953 --> 00:18:07,886
Just a little.
Murr:
Just a little!
539
00:18:07,888 --> 00:18:09,087
[ laughter ]
540
00:18:09,089 --> 00:18:10,421
[ buzzer ]
541
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:13,224
Narrator: Now sal really
has something to cry about.
542
00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:15,827
He's tonight's big loser.
543
00:18:15,829 --> 00:18:17,762
Alright!
Yeah!
544
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,364
Sal is
our loser today.
545
00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:21,500
Yeah, so we thought,
plain and simple,
546
00:18:21,502 --> 00:18:23,435
We'd send him
to a poetry class...
Sure.
547
00:18:23,437 --> 00:18:25,236
...To rip apart
other people's poems
548
00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:27,238
And then present the
poem that we've written
for you at the end.
549
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:28,307
Murr: Alright.
550
00:18:28,309 --> 00:18:30,241
Yeah, you're just gonna crap
all over people
551
00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:31,510
And then you're gonna
stand in front of them
552
00:18:31,512 --> 00:18:32,911
And read a poem
we wrote you.
553
00:18:32,913 --> 00:18:34,913
Sal, to be
or not to be a dick.
554
00:18:34,915 --> 00:18:36,848
[ laughter ]
555
00:18:36,850 --> 00:18:40,519
Welcome to gotham
writers' workshop, everyone.
556
00:18:40,521 --> 00:18:43,054
Joe: So, these are real poets
with the group gotham writers
557
00:18:43,056 --> 00:18:45,256
That have come to do
a real class with a real teacher
558
00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:46,525
Who happens
to be on our side.
559
00:18:46,527 --> 00:18:48,259
Q: They'll be in the class
with a real jerk.
560
00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:49,661
Murr: Yes.
561
00:18:49,663 --> 00:18:51,262
So, who would like
to start?
562
00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:53,264
Come on up.
Yeah, you can come on up.
563
00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:54,333
Here we go.
564
00:18:54,335 --> 00:18:57,602
"cozy in between
with the smell of campfire.
565
00:18:57,604 --> 00:19:00,872
Like a blanket wrapped around me
scented of cinnamon,
566
00:19:00,874 --> 00:19:03,208
The perfect trio
of companions,
567
00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:05,276
The ever-tasty s'more."
568
00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:07,146
[ applause ]
569
00:19:07,148 --> 00:19:09,014
That was a pretty good poem.
She's pretty good.
It was great.
570
00:19:09,016 --> 00:19:12,151
It was really nice
and felt very well-drafted.
571
00:19:12,153 --> 00:19:13,485
"eh..."
572
00:19:13,487 --> 00:19:15,687
[ laughter ]
573
00:19:15,689 --> 00:19:16,755
Eh, um...
574
00:19:16,757 --> 00:19:17,756
Yes.
575
00:19:17,758 --> 00:19:19,692
"I didn't believe you."
576
00:19:20,894 --> 00:19:27,533
[ laughter ]
577
00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:32,137
Woman:
"the perfect trio of companions,
578
00:19:32,139 --> 00:19:34,072
The ever-tasty s'more."
579
00:19:34,074 --> 00:19:36,408
[ applause ]
580
00:19:36,410 --> 00:19:37,742
"eh..."
581
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:39,944
[ laughter ]
582
00:19:39,946 --> 00:19:41,013
Eh, um...
583
00:19:41,015 --> 00:19:42,014
Yes.
584
00:19:42,016 --> 00:19:43,948
"I didn't believe you."
585
00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:47,286
[ laughter ]
586
00:19:48,755 --> 00:19:52,157
I-I think it could be
because of the set-up,
587
00:19:52,159 --> 00:19:54,559
But I had trouble...
588
00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:56,361
Believing you.
589
00:19:56,363 --> 00:19:58,096
Ooh!
590
00:19:58,098 --> 00:19:59,431
Q: "but..."
but -- but...
591
00:19:59,433 --> 00:20:01,299
"but very nicely done.
592
00:20:01,301 --> 00:20:02,901
Strong first draft."
593
00:20:02,903 --> 00:20:05,170
[ laughter ]
594
00:20:05,172 --> 00:20:06,438
Very nicely done.
595
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:08,240
Um...
596
00:20:08,242 --> 00:20:10,909
Solid --
solid first draft.
597
00:20:10,911 --> 00:20:12,377
[ laughter ]
598
00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:14,179
♪♪
599
00:20:14,181 --> 00:20:16,048
Joe:
Wow, look at him.
600
00:20:16,050 --> 00:20:17,716
Look, he's miserable!
601
00:20:17,718 --> 00:20:20,719
His hair's flopped over,
he's sweating.
602
00:20:20,721 --> 00:20:22,521
♪♪
603
00:20:22,523 --> 00:20:24,923
Alright.
"scared as [bleep]"
604
00:20:24,925 --> 00:20:26,324
"so [bleep] nice.
605
00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:29,261
I will spend
the rest of my entire life
606
00:20:29,263 --> 00:20:31,530
Searching for
those happy little pills.
607
00:20:31,532 --> 00:20:34,199
I knew you must've left
a few behind."
608
00:20:34,201 --> 00:20:36,502
[ applause ]
609
00:20:37,938 --> 00:20:41,073
I really just love
how raw that was.
610
00:20:41,075 --> 00:20:43,007
"eh..."
joe: "eh..."
611
00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:45,477
"maybe the next draft,
no curses."
612
00:20:45,479 --> 00:20:48,346
I -- you had me hooked
immediately.
Thank you.
613
00:20:48,348 --> 00:20:51,083
A little less poop mouth,
but other than that, it's great.
614
00:20:51,085 --> 00:20:52,751
[ laughter ]
615
00:20:52,753 --> 00:20:54,453
[ sighs ]
this is brutal.
616
00:20:55,756 --> 00:20:57,956
Man:
"karly, not now.
617
00:20:57,958 --> 00:21:02,160
Don't touch it,
even if you've asked.
618
00:21:02,162 --> 00:21:04,096
I'm not a pet."
619
00:21:04,098 --> 00:21:05,430
[ applause ]
620
00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:06,965
Any comments?
621
00:21:06,967 --> 00:21:09,301
"one critique --
maybe more words."
622
00:21:09,303 --> 00:21:11,503
[ laughter ]
yeah.
623
00:21:11,505 --> 00:21:13,037
Yeah.
Yeah,
I'm sorry.
624
00:21:13,039 --> 00:21:14,839
If I could add
anything at all,
625
00:21:14,841 --> 00:21:16,775
It would just probably be,
uh, words.
626
00:21:16,777 --> 00:21:18,443
Whoa.
627
00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:20,845
Well, they're --
they're a haiku.
628
00:21:20,847 --> 00:21:24,048
Murr: They're starting
to realize he's an idiot, huh?
629
00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:25,650
Thank you so much.
630
00:21:25,652 --> 00:21:28,253
[ applause ]
631
00:21:28,255 --> 00:21:30,589
"'it smells like winter,'
she said,
632
00:21:30,591 --> 00:21:33,392
While laying sideways
on his unkempt, warm bed.
633
00:21:33,394 --> 00:21:37,662
He knew the end was near,
but not how or when it would be,
634
00:21:37,664 --> 00:21:39,464
Making infatuation disappear."
635
00:21:39,466 --> 00:21:41,199
"I loved it."
636
00:21:41,201 --> 00:21:43,535
I-I loved it. Sorry, didn't mean
to cut, but I loved it, for one.
637
00:21:43,537 --> 00:21:44,803
Thank you.
638
00:21:44,805 --> 00:21:47,005
"it reminds me
of the very best..."
639
00:21:47,007 --> 00:21:49,407
It reminds me of,
um, the very --
640
00:21:49,409 --> 00:21:50,408
The very best...
641
00:21:50,410 --> 00:21:51,543
"...Greeting card."
642
00:21:51,545 --> 00:21:53,345
[ laughs ]
643
00:21:53,347 --> 00:21:55,480
...Like,
greeting card.
644
00:21:55,482 --> 00:21:57,816
[ scoffs ]
[ laughter ]
645
00:22:01,288 --> 00:22:02,955
"I mean this
as a compliment.
646
00:22:02,957 --> 00:22:04,156
You're a writer,
not a performer."
647
00:22:04,158 --> 00:22:05,890
[ sighs ]
648
00:22:05,892 --> 00:22:08,761
My final thought would be,
like, you are a writer.
649
00:22:08,763 --> 00:22:10,829
Not a performer,
but you're a writer.
650
00:22:10,831 --> 00:22:12,297
Oh!
651
00:22:12,299 --> 00:22:14,232
[ laughter ]
652
00:22:14,234 --> 00:22:16,969
Sal!
He's dead!
653
00:22:16,971 --> 00:22:18,437
Just died inside!
654
00:22:18,439 --> 00:22:19,638
[ laughter ]
655
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:21,640
Joe: Alright, sal,
you ready for your turn?
656
00:22:21,642 --> 00:22:23,575
Man: Alright.
Moving right along.
657
00:22:23,577 --> 00:22:25,910
Who hasn't gone?
Would you like to go?
658
00:22:25,912 --> 00:22:27,379
Alright.
659
00:22:27,381 --> 00:22:29,782
Joe: Perform to the best
of your ability.
660
00:22:29,784 --> 00:22:31,916
He's seeing it
for the first time right now.
661
00:22:31,918 --> 00:22:33,185
Here we go,
here we go.
662
00:22:33,187 --> 00:22:36,755
[ sighs ]
663
00:22:38,258 --> 00:22:40,392
"I am the road not taken."
664
00:22:40,394 --> 00:22:42,060
[ laughter ]
665
00:22:42,062 --> 00:22:43,462
"bam!
666
00:22:43,464 --> 00:22:45,530
The truck hit me.
667
00:22:45,532 --> 00:22:47,399
Wah! Wah! Wah!
668
00:22:47,401 --> 00:22:49,201
The ambulance get me."
669
00:22:49,203 --> 00:22:51,203
[ laughter ]
670
00:22:51,205 --> 00:22:53,538
"hot, sticky, sweaty birth.
671
00:22:53,540 --> 00:22:56,008
Hot, cold stank.
672
00:22:56,010 --> 00:22:58,210
[ whispering ] death."
673
00:22:58,212 --> 00:22:59,812
[ laughter ]
674
00:23:00,881 --> 00:23:05,617
"the brain bone is connected
to the heart bone.
675
00:23:05,619 --> 00:23:10,355
My bone
is c-connected to your bone."
676
00:23:10,357 --> 00:23:12,090
♪♪
677
00:23:12,092 --> 00:23:14,559
"we bone.
678
00:23:14,561 --> 00:23:16,961
Knick-knack paddy wack,
give this pup a bone.
679
00:23:16,963 --> 00:23:18,763
I'm the party pup."
680
00:23:18,765 --> 00:23:19,832
[ laughter ]
681
00:23:22,503 --> 00:23:24,036
"awoo!
682
00:23:24,038 --> 00:23:25,970
Woof, woof! You need a hug?
683
00:23:25,972 --> 00:23:27,305
Awoo, woof, woof!
684
00:23:27,307 --> 00:23:28,707
I shit the rug."
685
00:23:28,709 --> 00:23:30,375
[ laughter ]
686
00:23:30,377 --> 00:23:32,911
"never pay retail."
687
00:23:32,913 --> 00:23:35,047
[ laughter ]
688
00:23:35,049 --> 00:23:37,115
Ah, sal!
689
00:23:37,117 --> 00:23:39,784
Thank you.
Murr:
Oh, my god!
690
00:23:39,786 --> 00:23:40,785
Any thoughts?
691
00:23:40,787 --> 00:23:42,254
Who's got
some thoughts?
692
00:23:42,256 --> 00:23:44,656
I guess I kind of got
a little bit disconnected
693
00:23:44,658 --> 00:23:47,459
Because there were
a lot of cliches.
694
00:23:47,461 --> 00:23:49,061
Yeah,
it's pretty basic.
695
00:23:49,063 --> 00:23:50,162
[ laughter ]
696
00:23:51,598 --> 00:23:53,265
Alright.
Alright, thanks.
697
00:23:53,267 --> 00:23:54,799
Alright.
698
00:23:54,801 --> 00:23:56,601
Yes, yes.
699
00:23:56,603 --> 00:23:58,002
Sal, good job, buddy.
Party pup in the house!
700
00:23:58,004 --> 00:23:59,003
In the house!
701
00:23:59,005 --> 00:24:00,205
Nailed it.
702
00:24:00,207 --> 00:24:01,540
[ laughter ]
703
00:24:01,542 --> 00:24:02,541
Alright.
53660
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