Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,268 --> 00:00:03,068
Good evening and welcome
to the first annual
2
00:00:03,070 --> 00:00:05,003
Impractical jokers awards.
3
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,606
That's right. Tonight,
we're awarding iconic moments
4
00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:10,475
In silly categories
that represent the very heart
5
00:00:10,477 --> 00:00:12,411
Of what "jokers" has been
for the past nine years.
6
00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:14,879
And the winner of each category
was voted on
7
00:00:14,881 --> 00:00:17,549
By the hollywood
foreign press.
8
00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:19,017
Totally not true.
9
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:22,287
The winner of every category was
voted on by our beloved crew.
10
00:00:22,289 --> 00:00:24,356
Thank you.
11
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:27,159
The hollywood foreign press
doesn't even know we're on air.
12
00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:29,494
Hey, so let's find out
who gets to take home
13
00:00:29,496 --> 00:00:31,830
The most of these bad boys.
14
00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:35,167
And remember, if you refuse,
you lose.
15
00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:36,168
No, not tonight.
16
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:37,836
No? Oh.
Force of habit.
17
00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:46,378
♪♪
18
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,180
So what are we calling this?
Like, the joker?
19
00:00:48,182 --> 00:00:51,249
It doesn't have a ring to it,
the impractical joker award.
20
00:00:51,251 --> 00:00:52,851
No, I actually came up
with something, boys.
21
00:00:52,853 --> 00:00:54,452
You know how television
has the emmys?
22
00:00:54,454 --> 00:00:57,255
Yeah.
We have the emmers,
right, guys?
23
00:00:57,257 --> 00:00:59,724
Named after
beloved rob emmer.
24
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,259
Our friend who used to work
on the show
25
00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:02,394
That you've seen
a million times.
26
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,663
Sal! I need my job!
27
00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:06,331
Come on, sal, please!
28
00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:09,468
Please, please
give me my job back.
29
00:01:09,470 --> 00:01:11,736
I got to be honest,
I didn't care too much
30
00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:14,006
If I won or lost
until you named it the emmers.
31
00:01:14,008 --> 00:01:16,408
Now I want to sweep
every category.
32
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:20,278
Murr: It's the robert a. Emmer
memorial award.
33
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,280
I'll tell you what
I'm most excited about today --
34
00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:25,484
The crew is actually the ones
giving all the awards, right?
35
00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:27,219
They're all dressed up,
which you guys can't see.
36
00:01:27,221 --> 00:01:28,821
But to us,
it's stunning.
37
00:01:28,823 --> 00:01:30,222
Yeah,
you all look stunning.
38
00:01:30,224 --> 00:01:33,492
Alright, well, let's bring out
our first award, shall we?
39
00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:37,429
[ cheering ]
40
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:40,565
Steven hopper
and allison lane, everyone.
41
00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:42,835
Hi. I'm alli lane,
one of the show's execs
42
00:01:42,837 --> 00:01:44,503
And overall keeper
of the coin.
43
00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:47,439
And I'm hopper, one of
the big spenders of the coin.
44
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:50,175
[ laughter ]
45
00:01:50,177 --> 00:01:52,644
And we're here today
because we have the honor
46
00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:55,447
Of presenting the award
for best challenge.
47
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,982
We're starting off
with best challenge?
48
00:01:57,984 --> 00:02:00,318
That's the way the jokers awards
goes, guys.
49
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:01,453
We start the top,
50
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:02,855
Just like our first season
was our best
51
00:02:02,857 --> 00:02:04,523
And we've been
slowly going downhill.
52
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:05,790
It was really difficult
to pick
53
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,060
Just five bits out of
so many great ones.
54
00:02:08,062 --> 00:02:10,795
So we selected a few of the best
that we've done multiple times
55
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,665
And are guaranteed
to split sides.
56
00:02:12,667 --> 00:02:14,799
But they'll never
split ends.
57
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,535
[ laughter ]
58
00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:17,803
Yes! Well done.
59
00:02:21,007 --> 00:02:23,341
The nominees
for best challenge are...
60
00:02:23,343 --> 00:02:27,145
♪♪
61
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,682
Cranjis mcbasketball,
aka the name game.
62
00:02:29,684 --> 00:02:31,483
Gal ga-donut.
63
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,285
[ laughter ]
64
00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:34,953
Count ravioli?
65
00:02:34,955 --> 00:02:36,889
Count ravioli?
No, stefan.
66
00:02:36,891 --> 00:02:38,557
Oh, stefan, alright.
67
00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:39,491
Beef mcwhatnow?
68
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:40,893
Oh, my god.
69
00:02:40,895 --> 00:02:43,161
[ laughter ]
70
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,230
How about
a cleo dookieslide?
71
00:02:45,232 --> 00:02:46,965
Cleo?
72
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:49,768
I don't know what this list is.
This is not the list.
73
00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:51,670
Alli:
Fly me to balloon.
74
00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:57,576
Sal: Oh, it's on!
75
00:02:57,578 --> 00:02:59,111
Murr: How doesn't she know this?
76
00:02:59,113 --> 00:03:00,779
It's on her hair.
77
00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:05,317
Sal: Ohhhh.
78
00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:06,985
Don't call it a comeback!
79
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:08,921
She looks like
pippi longstocking.
80
00:03:08,923 --> 00:03:10,522
Bad reception.
81
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:11,523
Walnuts?
82
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:12,791
No, I'm good.
83
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:15,527
[ laughter ]
84
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:22,000
♪♪
85
00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:24,570
Two-way mirror,
aka now you see me.
86
00:03:27,074 --> 00:03:28,941
Yeah, the nets.
87
00:03:28,943 --> 00:03:30,208
I am, yeah.
88
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,277
I got the nets, that you'd
like to see them live.
89
00:03:34,148 --> 00:03:35,147
Steven: And house sitters.
90
00:03:35,149 --> 00:03:36,782
This is the bedroom.
91
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,419
This is --
I got to paint over it.
92
00:03:41,421 --> 00:03:43,355
This is the old tenant.
I mean, you know.
93
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:45,424
♪♪
94
00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:48,360
Q: It's the girl
from "the ring."
95
00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:50,428
♪♪
96
00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:53,565
Some powerhouses.
Powerhouses.
97
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:56,368
And the emmer goes to...
98
00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:57,569
Oh, my god.
99
00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:59,438
Both: Two-way mirror.
100
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,573
Joe: What an upset.
I didn't see that.
101
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:04,042
Q: That would not have been
my choice.
102
00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:06,311
Who accepts the award?
Can I take it?
103
00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:08,046
Yeah, yeah, except
I'm gonna need it back
104
00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:09,247
Because our budget
only has two of those.
105
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,016
-Okay.
[ laughter ]
106
00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:15,920
I'm so excited
to see the next award.
107
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:17,589
I really am.
It's going to be exciting
108
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:20,058
To see who comes out
and what they're wearing.
109
00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:25,397
♪♪
110
00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:27,932
-What a power couple.
-Superstars.
111
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:30,335
Hi, I'm mike damiani.
I'm the technical director.
112
00:04:30,337 --> 00:04:32,471
No, you're big mike.
113
00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:34,673
It's true.
Run it back.
114
00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:37,810
[ laughter ]
115
00:04:37,812 --> 00:04:41,213
Hi, I'm big mike,
and I'm the technical director.
116
00:04:41,215 --> 00:04:44,148
I'm danny hollis.
I'm the audio supervisor.
117
00:04:44,150 --> 00:04:46,551
-Whoo!
-Danny!
118
00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:48,286
And we're here to present
the best kiss award.
119
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,889
-Best kiss?!
-Ooh.
120
00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:53,425
Now, a kiss is like
being told by the jokers
121
00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:55,227
That the audio sounds great.
122
00:04:55,229 --> 00:04:56,961
Or the shots
look awesome.
123
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,563
But we don't get kisses
from the jokers.
124
00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,499
We get knuckle sandwiches.
125
00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:02,100
"why didn't you
get the shot?"
126
00:05:02,102 --> 00:05:03,235
"why is it so loud?"
127
00:05:03,237 --> 00:05:04,837
"why is it taking so long?"
128
00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:07,305
So before we get a knuckle
sandwich right in the kisser,
129
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,041
Here are the nominees.
130
00:05:09,043 --> 00:05:13,712
♪♪
131
00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:16,781
Murr in "murr marries
sal's sister."
132
00:05:16,783 --> 00:05:19,852
[ cheers and applause ]
133
00:05:19,854 --> 00:05:21,586
I'm gonna
break out of this.
134
00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:23,055
Danny:
Sal in "abs kisser."
135
00:05:23,057 --> 00:05:26,325
For one second,
can I kiss your abs?
136
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:31,663
[ laughter ]
137
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,532
That ends the story
of you and I.
138
00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:35,267
Q in "find the mouth."
139
00:05:35,269 --> 00:05:37,602
Kiss -- you know,
just kiss a bunch of strangers.
140
00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:39,337
You want to try it?
141
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,805
[ laughs ]
142
00:05:40,807 --> 00:05:42,340
Danny:
And joe in "bathrobe."
143
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,142
Sal: Just keep kissing her.
144
00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:45,544
What was your name?
145
00:05:45,546 --> 00:05:48,080
[ laughter ]
146
00:05:48,082 --> 00:05:52,350
Alright, wow.
Stiff competition all around.
147
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:55,487
And the emmer goes to...
148
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:58,423
Both: Murr in
"murr marries sal's sister."
149
00:05:58,425 --> 00:06:00,559
Murr: Yes! Yes!
150
00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:03,295
Q: That's what I would
have voted for.
151
00:06:03,297 --> 00:06:05,163
Really it's sal's
victory there.
152
00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:07,566
[ laughter ]
153
00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:09,568
Joe: Just leave now. Just go.
Just get out.
154
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:13,037
Q: Get out of here.
Take your stupid jacket.
155
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:14,306
Alright, guys,
well, stay tuned
156
00:06:14,308 --> 00:06:17,109
Because there's a lot more
emmers to come.
157
00:06:17,111 --> 00:06:18,443
Narrator: That's right, joe.
158
00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:21,113
Coming up is the award
for best contraption.
159
00:06:21,115 --> 00:06:23,381
And stick around to see
who wins the coveted
160
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,049
Best punishment trophy
161
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:28,053
When the impractical jokers
awards continue.
162
00:06:33,327 --> 00:06:37,996
♪♪
163
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,531
I can't wait to see
the next award, guys.
164
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:41,467
Alright,
bring them out.
165
00:06:41,469 --> 00:06:45,270
[ cheers and applause ]
166
00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:46,905
The art department.
167
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:52,944
Why does everybody who works on
our show look better than us?
168
00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:55,280
Doesn't get more hip
than the art department.
169
00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:56,948
That's right.
It's insane.
Look at these guys.
170
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:59,551
Thank you. Thank you.
Well, should we get into it?
171
00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:00,886
-Yes.
-Please.
172
00:07:00,888 --> 00:07:03,355
Alright. This is will thaxton,
our production designer,
173
00:07:03,357 --> 00:07:05,891
And this is lucy goldberg,
our art director.
174
00:07:05,893 --> 00:07:09,094
And we make a lot of crazy shit
for this show.
175
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:10,295
[ laughter ]
-you do.
176
00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:12,164
We also make a lot
of boring stuff
177
00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:14,232
Like fake cabinets
to hide cameras.
178
00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:17,035
But this category
is just about the cool stuff.
179
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:18,837
Because that other shit
sucks.
180
00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:20,972
[ laughter ]
it does. It does.
181
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:22,974
And the nominees for
best contraption are...
182
00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:24,976
-Ooh.
-Ooh, contraption.
183
00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:29,581
♪♪
184
00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:31,850
The chair in joe's
"massage chair" punishment.
185
00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:33,919
Murr: Joe, you're in
a massage chair.
186
00:07:33,921 --> 00:07:38,190
[ imitates buzzing ]
187
00:07:38,192 --> 00:07:39,457
The car from hell
188
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:42,127
In q's "drive, drive, drive"
punishment.
189
00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:44,596
♪ it's one, two, three,
four five ♪
190
00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:46,732
Choke on it!
191
00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:48,934
I think I fixed the squeaking,
guys.
192
00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:52,471
The bathroom in sal's "bathroom
of horrors" punishment.
193
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,879
And the spaceship in
murr's "astro-not" punishment.
194
00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:02,480
-Here we go.
-Drink it.
195
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,783
[ laughter ]
196
00:08:08,222 --> 00:08:09,955
Let's give a round
of applause.
197
00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:12,224
You're the real winners here,
guys.
198
00:08:12,226 --> 00:08:13,291
You're the real winners.
199
00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:17,363
And the emmer goes to...
200
00:08:17,365 --> 00:08:20,365
The car from hell in q's "drive,
drive, drive" punishment.
201
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:23,168
♪ drive, drive, drive,
drive, drive ♪
202
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:26,572
♪ it feels so good to be alive ♪
203
00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:30,175
No, oh, stop the song.
We're losing him.
204
00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:32,911
Anyone else as excited as me
to see the next award?
205
00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:34,980
[ laughter ]
let's make it happen.
206
00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:37,583
[ cheers and applause ]
207
00:08:37,585 --> 00:08:40,986
Q: Look at this!
208
00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:43,989
Wow, stella and chá,
everybody.
209
00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:46,724
Well, hi, everybody.
I'm stella psomias.
210
00:08:46,726 --> 00:08:48,660
I'm the production manager.
211
00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:50,862
And chá. [ scoffs ]
you know me.
212
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,397
[ laughter ]
213
00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:55,267
That's right, and we're here
to present best stunt
214
00:08:55,269 --> 00:08:56,534
Because we're always...
215
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:59,605
Both:
Stunting on the jokers.
216
00:08:59,607 --> 00:09:02,474
[ cheers and applause ]
217
00:09:02,476 --> 00:09:05,210
Yup, and if one of the jokers
like, "get me an iced tea,"
218
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:07,745
I'm like, "get it yourself,
bitch."
219
00:09:07,747 --> 00:09:09,347
[ laughter ]
220
00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:12,951
Now, here are the nominees
for best stunt, bitch.
221
00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:17,155
♪♪
222
00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:20,892
Sal in "dizzy waiter."
223
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,694
[ laughter ]
224
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:25,831
Joe: Go!
225
00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:28,233
[ laughter ]
226
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:31,369
Murr in "I know her
from college."
227
00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:35,107
♪♪
228
00:09:35,109 --> 00:09:36,508
Oh [bleep]
229
00:09:36,510 --> 00:09:41,113
-Oh!
-Oh, my god!
230
00:09:41,115 --> 00:09:43,181
[ laughter ]
231
00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:46,051
Q in "tightrope."
232
00:09:46,053 --> 00:09:47,853
Man: Keep going. Keep going.
233
00:09:47,855 --> 00:09:50,622
[ cheers and applause ]
234
00:09:58,065 --> 00:10:02,334
Joe in "I'm the manager."
235
00:10:02,336 --> 00:10:04,236
Joe: I'm okay.
I'm a manager.
236
00:10:06,874 --> 00:10:09,675
This is happening.
237
00:10:09,677 --> 00:10:10,742
Ohh!
238
00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:11,943
I'm a manager.
239
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,679
No, no, it's good.
240
00:10:13,681 --> 00:10:16,081
Oh, I fell. I fell.
241
00:10:16,083 --> 00:10:17,883
-Nice work.
-Thank you. I still hurt.
242
00:10:17,885 --> 00:10:20,952
And the emmer goes to...
243
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,420
I'm nervous.
244
00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:25,223
Joe in "I'm the manager."
245
00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:27,225
I still don't walk right.
I still don't walk right.
246
00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:29,161
But now I have a thumb.
-Suffer for your art.
247
00:10:29,163 --> 00:10:30,962
-Thank you, ladies.
-Thank you, ladies.
248
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:34,566
I broke a foot on mine.
I broke a foot.
249
00:10:34,568 --> 00:10:36,768
You're not good at stunts.
250
00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:38,504
So that's why.
251
00:10:38,506 --> 00:10:40,438
Guys, I can't wait to see
the next award.
252
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,240
[ laughter ]
253
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:43,942
You're really into this,
man.
254
00:10:44,912 --> 00:10:49,647
[ cheers and applause ]
255
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,049
Joe: Well done.
Look at this.
256
00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:52,918
Hello. I'm don-ya'.
257
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:55,521
I'm the stylist and
costume designer for the show.
258
00:10:55,523 --> 00:10:58,190
And I'm lillybeth gonzalez,
the jokers' makeup artist.
259
00:10:58,192 --> 00:11:00,726
And depending on what
the creative is,
260
00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:08,066
We are in charge of making
the jokers look fabulous.
261
00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:09,601
Or as hideous...
262
00:11:09,603 --> 00:11:13,471
As we possibly can,
which is hard.
263
00:11:13,473 --> 00:11:15,674
And here are the nominees
for best costume.
264
00:11:19,947 --> 00:11:22,080
Joe as "captain fatbelly."
265
00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:23,681
Y'all can suck it!
266
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,951
[ laughter ]
267
00:11:25,953 --> 00:11:27,753
Sal as "bog monster."
268
00:11:27,755 --> 00:11:29,888
Murr: Go get it!
Go get it, bog monster.
269
00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:30,756
Get it, get it.
270
00:11:30,758 --> 00:11:32,558
Q: Get it, bog monster.
Get it.
271
00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:35,093
[ shouts ]
272
00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:37,028
Don-ya': Q as "barnyard spider."
273
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,097
Man: Spider kick!
274
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:41,233
Spider punch!
275
00:11:41,235 --> 00:11:43,635
Spider uppercut!
276
00:11:43,637 --> 00:11:45,837
Murr as
"gospel vampire."
277
00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:48,240
♪ hallelujah ♪
278
00:11:48,242 --> 00:11:49,307
♪ hallelujah ♪
279
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:52,510
What is the audience
thinking?
280
00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:53,912
All: Ohhh.
281
00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:55,113
These are good.
282
00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:57,383
Wait, they basically just picked
our action figures.
283
00:11:57,385 --> 00:12:00,819
And the emmer goes to...
284
00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:05,723
Both: Sal as "bog monster."
285
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:08,994
Wow, that was a long day
in the swamps of new orleans.
286
00:12:08,996 --> 00:12:10,596
Not for us.
287
00:12:10,598 --> 00:12:11,997
How's that concussion
when I hit you with the oar?
288
00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:13,198
The concussion hurt.
289
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:16,602
Also a lot of parasites
in the pee hole that day.
290
00:12:16,604 --> 00:12:19,004
The future looks bright
for the jokers awards.
291
00:12:19,006 --> 00:12:22,074
[ laughs ]
292
00:12:22,076 --> 00:12:24,409
Narrator: Which joker
whipped himself into shape
293
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:26,078
To win best workout?
294
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:29,782
Find out when the impractical
jokers awards continue.
295
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:40,759
I know I've said it before,
296
00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:42,494
But I'm most excited
for the next award.
297
00:12:42,496 --> 00:12:44,229
[ laughter ]
298
00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:46,498
Let's see what we got.
299
00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:49,300
[ cheers and applause ]
300
00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:51,570
-Look at you guys.
-Rock stars.
301
00:12:51,572 --> 00:12:54,239
Hi, I'm geoff celis,
director of photography.
302
00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:57,576
And I'm jay miller,
director of -- producer.
303
00:12:57,578 --> 00:12:59,110
[ laughter ]
304
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:02,313
And we're here to present
the best live performance.
305
00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:05,316
You know something? I wish we
were presenting best challenge
306
00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:08,854
Because my favorite
is quit fantastically.
307
00:13:08,856 --> 00:13:11,590
Hmm.
Was that in season six?
308
00:13:11,592 --> 00:13:15,260
Oh, no, in season six,
I was fired fantastically.
309
00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:19,931
[ laughter ]
310
00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:23,335
And the nominees for
best live performance are...
311
00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:30,542
Sal in
"butterfly crime scene."
312
00:13:30,544 --> 00:13:34,079
♪ dead butterflies,
dead butterflies ♪
313
00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:37,015
♪ butterfly crime scene ♪
314
00:13:37,017 --> 00:13:39,885
Murr in
"thunder from down under."
315
00:13:39,887 --> 00:13:42,153
Joe: Yeah, that's sexy.
There you go.
316
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,755
Own it, murr.
You're sexy.
317
00:13:43,757 --> 00:13:45,356
You're sexy, bitch!
318
00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:48,427
Q: Yee-haw, yee-haw!
319
00:13:48,429 --> 00:13:49,895
Q in "q-sical."
320
00:13:49,897 --> 00:13:53,298
♪ can you climb
up a ladder? ♪
321
00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:55,567
♪ I can't do that ♪
322
00:13:55,569 --> 00:13:59,170
♪ could you get
any fatter? ♪
323
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,573
♪ I can do that ♪
324
00:14:01,575 --> 00:14:05,110
Geoff: Joe and sal
in "shut your face, grandma.
325
00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:07,779
Both: ♪ shut your face,
grandma ♪
326
00:14:07,781 --> 00:14:10,381
♪ shut your [bleep] damn face ♪
327
00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:12,383
♪ shut your face, grandma ♪
328
00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:14,319
[ laughter ]
329
00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:17,056
Alright.
All great choices.
330
00:14:17,058 --> 00:14:20,192
And the emmer goes to...
331
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:27,666
Both: Murr in
"thunder from down under."
332
00:14:27,668 --> 00:14:30,469
Thanks, guys.
333
00:14:30,471 --> 00:14:31,603
You really earned it.
334
00:14:31,605 --> 00:14:34,673
My allergies were good
for something.
335
00:14:34,675 --> 00:14:37,142
So thrilled for the next one.
Let's just do it.
336
00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:39,211
-Let's do it.
-Show murray the next one.
337
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:46,885
-Leo dicaprio!
-Finally, celebrities.
338
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:48,553
Q: Wow.
339
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:51,957
I'm bargain-basement,
matt damon.
340
00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:55,426
And I'm deep discount
leonardo dicaprio.
341
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:59,364
Hey, weren't we in
"the departed" together?
342
00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:01,232
That was more like
"the de-farted."
343
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,835
[ laughter ]
344
00:15:03,837 --> 00:15:05,637
I'm matt damon.
345
00:15:05,639 --> 00:15:08,173
[ laughter ]
346
00:15:08,175 --> 00:15:11,010
And the nominees for
best supporting animal are...
347
00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:18,183
Biscotti in "watch my dog."
348
00:15:18,185 --> 00:15:19,518
Her name is quinoa
349
00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:22,454
Because I use her to hit on
foreign white girls.
350
00:15:22,456 --> 00:15:24,923
Pepe the came in
"q in the zoo."
351
00:15:24,925 --> 00:15:26,925
No, no, no,
don't eat the toilet paper.
352
00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:28,393
Ah!
353
00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:30,929
Hey, is pepe allowed to eat
my air conditioning?
354
00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:32,564
Pepe, I don't eat my pool.
355
00:15:34,868 --> 00:15:36,735
The sharks in "shark bait."
356
00:15:36,737 --> 00:15:41,006
[ muffled screaming ]
357
00:15:41,008 --> 00:15:44,475
And mama and her calf
in "sal has a cow."
358
00:15:44,477 --> 00:15:48,213
[ indistinct shouting ]
359
00:15:48,215 --> 00:15:49,748
Wow!
360
00:15:49,750 --> 00:15:50,749
Please help me.
361
00:15:50,751 --> 00:15:52,617
Wow.
362
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:55,354
Heated animal race.
363
00:15:55,356 --> 00:15:59,224
And the emmer goes to...
364
00:15:59,226 --> 00:16:01,760
Pepe the camel in
"q in the zoo."
365
00:16:01,762 --> 00:16:03,628
He deserves it.
366
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,564
That's a cute little
baby camel.
367
00:16:05,566 --> 00:16:08,367
Over the moon excited
for the next category.
368
00:16:09,236 --> 00:16:13,638
[ cheers and applause ]
369
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,107
Oh, my goodness.
370
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:18,910
-Hey, guys.
-The god and goddess themselves.
371
00:16:18,912 --> 00:16:21,046
That's right.
I'm dan "the man" cast,
372
00:16:21,048 --> 00:16:23,782
But you already knew that.
373
00:16:23,784 --> 00:16:24,916
And I'm nicole salamak,
374
00:16:24,918 --> 00:16:27,986
Reigning champ of
"joker for a day."
375
00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:29,788
Nice pants, nicole.
376
00:16:29,790 --> 00:16:32,057
Are you kissing
the jokers' ass today?
377
00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:33,592
No, they're actually
kissing mine today.
378
00:16:33,594 --> 00:16:35,594
[ laughter ]
379
00:16:35,596 --> 00:16:38,463
Actually, they're kissing
everybody's ass today.
380
00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:41,266
[ laughter ]
381
00:16:41,268 --> 00:16:42,401
Yes!
382
00:16:42,403 --> 00:16:44,069
And he nailed it
in one take!
383
00:16:44,071 --> 00:16:48,473
Oh, my god, today's one of
the best days of my life.
384
00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:49,875
Well played, dan.
385
00:16:49,877 --> 00:16:52,944
And while the jokers may look
overweight on your thighs...
386
00:16:52,946 --> 00:16:55,814
What?
...They do work out
in real life.
387
00:16:55,816 --> 00:16:59,084
And the nominees
for best workout are...
388
00:16:59,086 --> 00:17:00,519
-Ooh.
-Ooh.
389
00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:05,891
Joe in "gymnastics."
390
00:17:07,494 --> 00:17:11,563
[ laughter ]
391
00:17:11,565 --> 00:17:14,099
Sal in "krav maga."
392
00:17:14,101 --> 00:17:17,403
[ laughter ]
393
00:17:20,241 --> 00:17:22,041
Q in "breakdancing."
394
00:17:22,043 --> 00:17:23,374
[ laughter ]
395
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:26,111
[bleep]
396
00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:27,579
[bleep] [bleep] [bleep]
397
00:17:27,581 --> 00:17:29,848
Murr: Oh, my god.
398
00:17:29,850 --> 00:17:32,183
Murr in
the "murr-athon."
399
00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:35,688
[ laughter ]
400
00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:39,458
I'm hydrated!
401
00:17:39,460 --> 00:17:43,328
And the emmer goes to...
402
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:45,330
Joe in "gymnastics."
403
00:17:45,332 --> 00:17:48,199
-Yeah!
[ cheers and applause ]
404
00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:51,002
Q: Oh, no.
405
00:17:51,004 --> 00:17:53,204
Remember that day you started
to have, like, a blackout?
406
00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:55,274
Convulsions, yeah.
'cause your body seized.
407
00:17:55,276 --> 00:17:57,342
I didn't have convulsions,
first of all.
408
00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:58,744
I went to the bathroom.
409
00:17:58,746 --> 00:18:00,946
I kicked a little kid
out of the bathroom.
410
00:18:00,948 --> 00:18:05,417
I shut the door. I threw up.
I passed out in the --
411
00:18:05,419 --> 00:18:07,886
I woke up in a full sweat
412
00:18:07,888 --> 00:18:09,888
Wedged between the sink
and the door.
413
00:18:09,890 --> 00:18:11,423
He was
six years younger then.
414
00:18:11,425 --> 00:18:12,891
[ laughter ]
415
00:18:12,893 --> 00:18:14,560
But I was
20 pounds heavier.
416
00:18:17,698 --> 00:18:19,698
Narrator: Coming up,
who will take the big prize
417
00:18:19,700 --> 00:18:21,100
For best punishment?
418
00:18:21,102 --> 00:18:22,968
Find out after the break.
419
00:18:30,544 --> 00:18:35,080
♪♪
420
00:18:35,082 --> 00:18:37,216
Raise your hands at home
if you're as excited as me
421
00:18:37,218 --> 00:18:38,851
For the next one.
422
00:18:40,021 --> 00:18:42,888
[ cheers and applause ]
423
00:18:42,890 --> 00:18:44,523
It's "weekend at bernie's."
424
00:18:47,094 --> 00:18:48,560
Hi, I'm marina catala,
425
00:18:48,562 --> 00:18:50,562
Showrunner of
"impractical jokers."
426
00:18:50,564 --> 00:18:52,831
And I'm andrew hood,
the show's director.
427
00:18:52,833 --> 00:18:56,367
And we've been here to present
the best punishment.
428
00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:58,704
First, I got to say, hood,
you are taking
429
00:18:58,706 --> 00:19:00,839
Your punishment like a champ.
430
00:19:00,841 --> 00:19:04,175
What --
what do you mean?
431
00:19:04,177 --> 00:19:06,645
I mean, to think that the jokers
would punish you,
432
00:19:06,647 --> 00:19:07,979
The director,
433
00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:09,514
A professional,
434
00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:12,984
Forcing you to dress like that
in front of national television.
435
00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:15,386
This is how
I normally dress.
436
00:19:15,388 --> 00:19:17,856
It is hysterical
to think that you --
437
00:19:17,858 --> 00:19:19,524
Your job as the director
438
00:19:19,526 --> 00:19:22,928
Is to make everyone look good
in front of the camera.
439
00:19:22,930 --> 00:19:27,198
And here you are looking
like straight-up ass.
440
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:28,867
It's genius. Genius.
441
00:19:28,869 --> 00:19:30,201
Thank you. Thank you.
442
00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:33,672
And the nominees for
best punishments are...
443
00:19:33,674 --> 00:19:38,610
♪♪
444
00:19:38,612 --> 00:19:42,881
Q and sal in
"turquoise ring."
445
00:19:42,883 --> 00:19:45,150
You want to -- you want
to sell a ring here?
446
00:19:45,152 --> 00:19:47,352
Andrew:
Murr in "crydiving."
447
00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:50,221
Together: Geronimo!
448
00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:53,558
[ screaming ]
449
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,761
Q in
"x marks the spot."
450
00:19:55,763 --> 00:19:58,097
There's no words to describe how
much I don't like you right now.
451
00:19:58,099 --> 00:20:00,565
I don't like --
I don't like me right now.
452
00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:02,367
Andrew: Sal in "bingo."
453
00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:03,568
Bingo!
454
00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:09,108
[ laughter ]
455
00:20:09,110 --> 00:20:11,042
This is the worst punishment
I've ever had.
456
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:12,911
Marina: Joe in "genie."
457
00:20:12,913 --> 00:20:14,179
I wish for a palace.
458
00:20:14,181 --> 00:20:16,047
Genie does as you wish.
459
00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:18,383
[ laughter ]
460
00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:20,385
Q: Look at the audience.
461
00:20:20,387 --> 00:20:22,854
Murr: He has destroyed
the whole set.
462
00:20:22,856 --> 00:20:26,191
Andrew: Sal, murr, and q
in "tattoos."
463
00:20:26,193 --> 00:20:27,993
Oh, man,
what a nightmare.
464
00:20:30,331 --> 00:20:32,197
Three, two, one.
465
00:20:32,199 --> 00:20:37,468
[ laughter ]
466
00:20:37,470 --> 00:20:38,937
Murr: Oh, my god,
is that jaden smith?
467
00:20:38,939 --> 00:20:41,673
That's not real.
That's not real. It's a joke.
468
00:20:41,675 --> 00:20:43,474
What the [bleep] does that
have to do with me?
469
00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:45,544
Coming back,
here we come from the closer.
470
00:20:45,546 --> 00:20:50,081
-Ohh.
-Directing from the podium.
471
00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:52,417
And the emmer goes to...
472
00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:53,819
-Ooh.
-Ooh.
473
00:20:53,821 --> 00:20:56,021
Both: Sal, murr, and q
in "tattoos."
474
00:20:56,023 --> 00:20:58,089
[ cheers and applause ]
475
00:20:58,091 --> 00:21:01,560
-Congratulations.
-Thank you, guys.
476
00:21:01,562 --> 00:21:02,828
Wow.
477
00:21:02,830 --> 00:21:04,363
Wow. So I guess
I'm the winner, right?
478
00:21:04,365 --> 00:21:05,697
Because I'm the only one
without the tattoo.
479
00:21:05,699 --> 00:21:07,298
[ laughter ]
480
00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:09,301
Jaden, would you like to say
a few words?
481
00:21:12,039 --> 00:21:15,374
[ cheers and applause ]
482
00:21:15,376 --> 00:21:19,110
-Simmy can't stand your bits.
-In a tuxedo.
483
00:21:19,112 --> 00:21:21,046
Can't stand your bits,
everyone.
484
00:21:21,048 --> 00:21:23,248
The man that
signs your checks.
485
00:21:23,250 --> 00:21:25,050
Quiet, guys.
I'm trying to do a bit.
486
00:21:25,052 --> 00:21:27,386
[ laughter ]
487
00:21:27,388 --> 00:21:29,054
Good evening.
488
00:21:29,056 --> 00:21:31,122
My name is simmy kustanowitz,
489
00:21:31,124 --> 00:21:32,524
And I have
the distinct honor
490
00:21:32,526 --> 00:21:35,594
Of presenting tonight's
simmy r. Kustanowitz award
491
00:21:35,596 --> 00:21:37,328
For excellence in comedy.
492
00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:42,534
[ laughter ]
493
00:21:42,536 --> 00:21:44,936
As the network executive
for "impractical jokers,"
494
00:21:44,938 --> 00:21:47,606
I have had the privilege
of watching four talented,
495
00:21:47,608 --> 00:21:52,811
Rapidly aging men
find their comedic voices.
496
00:21:52,813 --> 00:21:55,614
I can still remember the day
I told joe gatto,
497
00:21:55,616 --> 00:21:57,082
"why don't you call
those potatoes
498
00:21:57,084 --> 00:21:59,350
Scoopski potatoes?"
499
00:21:59,352 --> 00:22:02,221
He did.
And it was funny.
500
00:22:02,223 --> 00:22:04,956
[ laughter ]
501
00:22:04,958 --> 00:22:07,026
I fondly recall the moment
I said to murr,
502
00:22:07,028 --> 00:22:09,561
"hey, when you jump
out of that plane,
503
00:22:09,563 --> 00:22:12,297
Why don't you scream
like crazy?"
504
00:22:12,299 --> 00:22:15,100
He did. And it was good.
505
00:22:15,102 --> 00:22:18,036
His idea. His idea.
506
00:22:18,038 --> 00:22:20,305
Q found his comedic voice
early on
507
00:22:20,307 --> 00:22:22,908
When he referred to that one guy
as "mustache."
508
00:22:22,910 --> 00:22:25,044
Sorry, mustache.
509
00:22:25,046 --> 00:22:26,711
Pretty sure that one
was mine too.
510
00:22:26,713 --> 00:22:29,114
[ laughter ]
511
00:22:29,116 --> 00:22:32,317
And sal, well...
512
00:22:32,319 --> 00:22:35,053
Remember that pile of elephant
shit he had to dig through?
513
00:22:35,055 --> 00:22:40,525
Breaking news -- it didn't
come out of an elephant.
514
00:22:40,527 --> 00:22:41,927
It came out of me.
515
00:22:41,929 --> 00:22:43,262
[ laughter ]
516
00:22:43,264 --> 00:22:48,267
Four brilliant comedic minds
molded by another.
517
00:22:48,269 --> 00:22:50,068
So without further ado,
518
00:22:50,070 --> 00:22:52,337
I am enormously proud
to present tonight's
519
00:22:52,339 --> 00:22:56,408
Simmy r. Kustanowitz award
for excellence in comedy to...
520
00:22:56,410 --> 00:22:59,210
[ laughs ]
521
00:22:59,212 --> 00:23:00,745
Oh, my god, it's me.
522
00:23:00,747 --> 00:23:03,214
[ laughter ]
523
00:23:03,216 --> 00:23:08,419
I-I -- I'm in shock.
524
00:23:08,421 --> 00:23:10,755
This is the -- hold on.
525
00:23:10,757 --> 00:23:13,625
[ laughter ]
526
00:23:13,627 --> 00:23:15,026
I'm in shock.
527
00:23:15,028 --> 00:23:17,496
The culmination
of a lifelong dream.
528
00:23:17,498 --> 00:23:19,364
Just being in the same
category with these four,
529
00:23:19,366 --> 00:23:21,032
I mean, wow.
530
00:23:21,034 --> 00:23:23,368
So many people
to thank -- my agent.
531
00:23:23,370 --> 00:23:24,903
If I still have time,
I'd like to take my wife
532
00:23:24,905 --> 00:23:25,904
And three kids.
533
00:23:25,906 --> 00:23:28,974
Julio and suzy, go to bed.
534
00:23:28,976 --> 00:23:31,110
And to the four of you,
thank you
535
00:23:31,112 --> 00:23:32,511
For validating my parking.
536
00:23:32,513 --> 00:23:33,778
Thank you so much.
537
00:23:33,780 --> 00:23:35,446
Goodnight, everybody.
538
00:23:35,448 --> 00:23:37,048
[ cheers and applause ]
539
00:23:37,050 --> 00:23:39,450
Q: Wow.
540
00:23:39,452 --> 00:23:43,855
♪♪
541
00:23:43,857 --> 00:23:46,257
That was really fun. Thank you
so much, guys, for joining us.
542
00:23:46,259 --> 00:23:48,193
Let's hear it
for the crew.
543
00:23:48,195 --> 00:23:50,529
We love you guys.
544
00:23:50,531 --> 00:23:53,132
-Give yourselves a hand.
-Round of applause.
545
00:23:53,134 --> 00:23:55,466
And a big thanks to rob emmer,
everybody.
546
00:23:55,468 --> 00:23:56,601
Rob emmer!
547
00:23:56,603 --> 00:23:58,469
Rob emmer of the emmers.
548
00:23:58,471 --> 00:24:00,205
So excited for
the next award.
549
00:24:00,207 --> 00:24:02,608
It's over. Show's over.
Oh.
41989
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.