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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,150 --> 00:00:06,150 Sit. 2 00:00:08,990 --> 00:00:09,990 Stay. 3 00:00:13,170 --> 00:00:14,790 Speak. This sucks. 4 00:00:15,070 --> 00:00:20,890 Yeah. I bet they put all the stuff that sucks on in the morning just to, like, 5 00:00:20,890 --> 00:00:22,070 get us to go to school. 6 00:00:22,370 --> 00:00:23,370 Yeah. 7 00:00:24,230 --> 00:00:25,950 I think it's working. 8 00:00:32,750 --> 00:00:34,010 Check it out, he's watching TV. 9 00:00:34,630 --> 00:00:35,630 Yeah. 10 00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:40,750 And it's like, we're watching TV, so it's like we're watching two TVs for the 11 00:00:40,750 --> 00:00:41,750 price of one. 12 00:00:43,170 --> 00:00:45,330 Um, what two TVs? 13 00:00:45,550 --> 00:00:46,550 I don't understand. 14 00:00:47,230 --> 00:00:52,050 Beavis, we're watching TV, and then there's another TV in the TV. 15 00:00:52,310 --> 00:00:52,929 Oh, wait. 16 00:00:52,930 --> 00:00:54,710 There's like a TV inside the TV? 17 00:00:55,730 --> 00:00:57,210 Let's break it open and find it. 18 00:00:57,830 --> 00:01:00,810 Boy, Beavis, you're stupid. 19 00:01:02,740 --> 00:01:05,099 Wow. Wow. Okay. 20 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:14,920 Look at his mouth. 21 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:16,800 Yeah, yeah. 22 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:20,360 It's all encrustulated with globules of feces. 23 00:01:21,460 --> 00:01:22,800 See what I mean, Beavis? 24 00:01:24,220 --> 00:01:26,120 You, like, got some problem or something. 25 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:31,300 Yeah, well, you're, uh, you're mom. You, uh, um, you're mom. 26 00:01:31,740 --> 00:01:32,740 Uh, yeah. 27 00:01:42,210 --> 00:01:43,210 Oh, look at the monkey. 28 00:01:47,850 --> 00:01:51,230 You know what they can do? They can, like, break that couch. They can, like, 29 00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:52,250 just rip it up. 30 00:01:53,150 --> 00:01:53,969 Break it. 31 00:01:53,970 --> 00:01:55,990 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like that. 32 00:01:56,330 --> 00:01:59,370 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Rip it, break it. Break it. 33 00:02:01,410 --> 00:02:02,650 Yeah. Yeah. 34 00:02:03,170 --> 00:02:04,350 Get in there. Kick it. 35 00:02:04,910 --> 00:02:05,910 Kick the couch. 36 00:02:06,010 --> 00:02:07,010 Yeah, yeah. 37 00:02:07,370 --> 00:02:09,169 No, no, no, don't stop. Don't stop. 38 00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:10,430 Don't stop. 39 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:11,179 Damn it. 40 00:02:11,180 --> 00:02:12,200 Winners never win. 41 00:02:18,140 --> 00:02:25,040 May I have your attention, people? 42 00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:27,240 People. 43 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:29,840 Could I have your attention, please? 44 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:31,980 Come on, guys. 45 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,860 Do I need to get Mr. Buzz cut in here? 46 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:37,400 Thank you. 47 00:02:37,850 --> 00:02:42,230 We have a guest today, class, and it appears she isn't a moment too soon. 48 00:02:42,610 --> 00:02:46,650 It seems that as adults, we aren't doing a very good job of teaching the 49 00:02:46,650 --> 00:02:48,250 importance of good manners. 50 00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:53,270 Now, a group of concerned parents has asked the school to deal with the 51 00:02:53,470 --> 00:02:58,750 So please join me in giving a warm welcome to an expert on etiquette, Mr. 52 00:02:59,030 --> 00:03:00,030 Manners. 53 00:03:01,570 --> 00:03:04,010 Thank you for that warm welcome. 54 00:03:04,210 --> 00:03:06,770 My, what a nice -looking group of students. 55 00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:11,640 Hey, Bela. 56 00:03:12,420 --> 00:03:13,440 Machine gunner. 57 00:03:16,380 --> 00:03:17,380 Oh, yeah. 58 00:03:17,640 --> 00:03:18,640 I get both. 59 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:25,000 Excuse me, boys, but it's rather rude to make noises and interrupt me when it's 60 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,180 my turn to talk. 61 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:30,280 Uh, we were doing this long before you came in, sir. 62 00:03:30,580 --> 00:03:32,660 Yes. You interrupted us. 63 00:03:33,820 --> 00:03:34,820 Butthole. 64 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:37,300 Well, I'll teach you some manners yet. 65 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:40,880 But for now, I would greatly appreciate your undivided attention. 66 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:46,760 Now, class, manners are an enjoyable way to create a favorable impression with 67 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:50,740 others. I'd like to start off with a fun activity in which we'll do a little 68 00:03:50,740 --> 00:03:51,740 role -playing. 69 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:53,820 Now, I'll need a couple of volunteers. 70 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:56,120 Uh, pole -playing? 71 00:03:57,680 --> 00:03:59,660 Yes, I can do that. 72 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,700 Okay, but what's the magic word? 73 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:04,760 Uh... 74 00:04:08,180 --> 00:04:11,000 Now come on, what do you say when you want something? 75 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:13,920 Oh, uh, butt wipe? 76 00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:17,120 Give me something butt wipe. 77 00:04:18,579 --> 00:04:19,579 Bunghole. 78 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:24,480 Bunghole. 79 00:04:27,340 --> 00:04:32,420 Coming up next, Butthead begins to suspect Beavis of codependency. Stay 80 00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:40,580 I would like to start with the use of proper manners in a restaurant setting. 81 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:46,440 Now, I want you, Master Butthead, to pretend that you are at a restaurant, 82 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:48,400 Master Beavis will be the waiter. 83 00:04:51,540 --> 00:04:56,200 Let's start by having Master Beavis welcome you to the restaurant and take 84 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:58,520 order. Ah! Don't touch me, asswipe! 85 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,560 You look like a dork. 86 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:04,700 Shut up, fart knocker. 87 00:05:05,060 --> 00:05:06,060 I'll kick your ass. 88 00:05:06,620 --> 00:05:08,740 Boys, boys, that's no way to show manners. 89 00:05:09,020 --> 00:05:10,700 Here, let me get you started. 90 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:15,000 Master Beavis, say something like, good evening, sir. 91 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:16,840 My name is Beavis. 92 00:05:17,340 --> 00:05:18,620 Welcome to our restaurant. 93 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:20,560 May I take your order, please? 94 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:24,060 Go ahead, we're waiting. 95 00:05:26,950 --> 00:05:27,950 Hi, butthead. 96 00:05:28,610 --> 00:05:30,110 Hi, Master Beavis. 97 00:05:30,450 --> 00:05:32,750 I was supposed to introduce me, bunghole. 98 00:05:33,530 --> 00:05:37,230 Um, uh, welcome to a restaurant. 99 00:05:38,030 --> 00:05:40,590 Yeah, um, you like to take my order? 100 00:05:41,370 --> 00:05:44,070 Yeah, get me some nachos, buttwipe. 101 00:05:45,050 --> 00:05:50,190 Ah, listen, you little twerp. This is my job. This is how I make money. 102 00:05:50,470 --> 00:05:54,090 Don't screw with me. Now, how about using some manners? 103 00:05:55,580 --> 00:05:56,580 Man or fuck. 104 00:05:58,140 --> 00:05:59,600 Don't screw with him. 105 00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:01,100 Yeah. 106 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:04,340 He sure does like to touch. 107 00:06:04,580 --> 00:06:07,420 Yeah. He tried to touch my wiener. 108 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:10,020 What? You little liar. 109 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:11,740 Back off, you pervert. He's lying. 110 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:14,500 Hey, don't you dare lay a finger on my students. 111 00:06:14,900 --> 00:06:16,200 Beavis, did he hit you? 112 00:06:16,580 --> 00:06:18,340 Yes, sir. He did. 113 00:06:18,660 --> 00:06:19,820 Thank you for your concern. 114 00:06:20,260 --> 00:06:24,300 Why, you little dirtball. You want to touch my students? I'll touch you. 115 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:28,220 I'll get to you, little punk! Uh, no thank you, sir. 116 00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:31,620 Stop it! 117 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:32,879 Stop it! 118 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:35,560 That hit me. You're going to jail, jackass! 119 00:06:36,420 --> 00:06:37,860 You're going downward, son! 120 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:41,980 That, you old -fashioned... You're hurting me! 121 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:44,620 Hey, hey, 122 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:49,400 did you see the poppet front end? 123 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:50,680 Yeah. 124 00:06:51,660 --> 00:06:54,980 And, you know, wherever there's a faucet, there's probably a toilet close 125 00:06:55,140 --> 00:06:55,739 Oh, yeah. 126 00:06:55,740 --> 00:07:00,180 And wherever there's a toilet, there's, like, mud, and cleaner, and dirt, and, 127 00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:01,279 uh, wee -wee. 128 00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:02,280 Yeah. 129 00:07:02,980 --> 00:07:04,720 A little something for everyone. 130 00:07:08,540 --> 00:07:13,120 This dude must use the same shampoo as me. 131 00:07:13,460 --> 00:07:16,400 Um, you know, you shampoo, butthead. 132 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:19,200 Uh... Oh, yeah. 133 00:07:22,380 --> 00:07:23,380 Hey, 134 00:07:23,980 --> 00:07:24,899 buddy. 135 00:07:24,900 --> 00:07:26,520 Isn't that band schlong? 136 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:28,140 No, dumbass. 137 00:07:28,380 --> 00:07:29,560 It's prong. 138 00:07:29,820 --> 00:07:33,960 Okay, well, I wasn't that far off, butthole. 139 00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:38,680 Yes. Yes. Rock, rock. 140 00:07:50,700 --> 00:07:51,740 Snap your finger. 141 00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:58,060 Snap your neck. 142 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:02,020 That's like some kind of weird double joint. 143 00:08:02,420 --> 00:08:05,060 That's not that weird. I can do that. No way. 144 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:06,400 Yeah, I can. Check it out. 145 00:08:09,300 --> 00:08:10,300 Whoa. 146 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:12,960 That's cool. 147 00:08:13,020 --> 00:08:14,220 I get it wrong. 148 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:15,560 All right. 149 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:17,959 Let's see. 150 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:18,960 Oh, no. 151 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:24,720 Okay. Thanks. 152 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,320 You almost, like, broke something. 153 00:08:29,020 --> 00:08:32,760 You should, like, bootie a guy for, like, uh, something. 154 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:34,000 Yeah. 155 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:37,179 I bet if I, like, boot him, I can get back to James Pappas. 156 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:43,080 Please come out. 157 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:44,940 Please. 158 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:48,660 Yeah, me too. 159 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,300 Hey, butthead, it won't come out. 160 00:08:58,780 --> 00:09:00,780 Maybe you should try using manners. 161 00:09:01,260 --> 00:09:02,520 Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. 162 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:06,060 Um, please come out of my butt. 163 00:09:09,860 --> 00:09:10,860 Please? 164 00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:16,640 Thank you, drive -thru. 165 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:18,840 It matters. 166 00:09:20,140 --> 00:09:23,500 Hey, Beavis, will you please wipe my butt? 167 00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:35,120 What's this? 168 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:39,640 Hey, 169 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:42,940 look, Beavis, it's your mom. Where, where? 170 00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:45,280 Hanging out in bars again. 171 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:46,720 I'm not my mom, butthead. 172 00:09:47,470 --> 00:09:48,470 That's Grandma. 173 00:09:51,110 --> 00:09:52,150 What is this? 174 00:09:53,110 --> 00:09:56,030 Uh... Is this cable access? 175 00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:57,370 Yeah, I think it is. 176 00:09:57,630 --> 00:09:59,070 Cable access sucks. 177 00:10:01,150 --> 00:10:03,090 They should call it cable sucks. 178 00:10:04,330 --> 00:10:05,510 Yeah, cable sucks. 179 00:10:08,510 --> 00:10:12,170 Look at this dork. 180 00:10:12,390 --> 00:10:14,270 Yeah, what a dumbass. 181 00:10:14,850 --> 00:10:15,850 Ooh. 182 00:10:19,490 --> 00:10:20,890 The band's fucked. 183 00:10:21,210 --> 00:10:22,210 Yeah, really. 184 00:10:22,930 --> 00:10:25,250 Hey, buddy, didn't these guys play that wedding we went to? 185 00:10:26,130 --> 00:10:27,130 Yeah. 186 00:10:28,230 --> 00:10:30,790 Remember when you kept asking them to play Pantera? 187 00:10:31,010 --> 00:10:32,730 Yeah. That was cool. 188 00:10:33,430 --> 00:10:35,750 Remember when you waited in line to kiss the bride? 189 00:10:37,010 --> 00:10:38,870 And then you tried to cop a feel? 190 00:10:39,390 --> 00:10:40,390 Oh, yeah. 191 00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:43,370 Her dad kicked your ass. 192 00:10:45,050 --> 00:10:46,050 Oh, yeah. 12255