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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,700 --> 00:00:08,140 Don't waste your life away watching TV. 2 00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:11,880 Call our free 800 number and get started in the exciting field of hair removal. 3 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:14,700 Stuck in a dead -end job? 4 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:17,960 Why, when you could be earning top dollars in appellate court, Judge? 5 00:00:18,180 --> 00:00:21,660 Just call this toll -free number and our well -trained instructors... Hello. 6 00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:24,980 Got something on your mind? 7 00:00:26,300 --> 00:00:32,960 Call at 1 -900... Just $9 .99 a minute. 8 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:35,160 What are you waiting for? 9 00:00:55,500 --> 00:00:57,120 She said something. 10 00:00:57,500 --> 00:00:58,500 Yeah, yeah. 11 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:01,840 Water, 12 00:01:05,060 --> 00:01:06,660 water. Yeah, yeah, water, water. 13 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:08,580 So what, Beavis? 14 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:11,640 I don't know, water's cool. 15 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:16,960 Yeah, yeah. 16 00:01:17,180 --> 00:01:18,920 This seems pretty cool. 17 00:01:19,290 --> 00:01:21,010 Yeah, yeah. Ooh, baby. 18 00:01:22,030 --> 00:01:23,030 Yeah. 19 00:01:26,130 --> 00:01:27,250 Ooh, baby. 20 00:01:27,670 --> 00:01:31,750 Yeah. This chick is hot. These chicks are cool. 21 00:01:32,030 --> 00:01:33,030 Yeah, yeah. 22 00:01:36,450 --> 00:01:42,310 This chick's pretty hot, but it's like, they have a tendency to wear too many 23 00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:47,770 clothes. If you just, like, take that damn turtleneck off, it's like, hey, 24 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:51,720 Whoa, whoa, did she say erection? 25 00:01:53,140 --> 00:01:54,140 I hope so. 26 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:56,760 I'll say erection. 27 00:01:58,020 --> 00:01:59,860 I don't care if you say it, Viva. 28 00:02:00,340 --> 00:02:01,340 Oh, yeah. 29 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:03,340 Well, I think she said it right. 30 00:02:05,020 --> 00:02:11,920 Damn it, this video's been on for two minutes and she's still not 31 00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:12,920 naked. 32 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:14,860 Well, her face is naked. 33 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:16,760 For what, Viva? 34 00:02:17,460 --> 00:02:19,060 Every girl's face was naked. 35 00:02:19,380 --> 00:02:20,380 Really? 36 00:02:20,820 --> 00:02:24,300 That'd be cool if, like, they put clothes on their face, but then, like, 37 00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:25,099 their body. 38 00:02:25,100 --> 00:02:27,000 Yeah. I'd settle for that. 39 00:02:27,220 --> 00:02:29,440 Yeah. I bet chicks would go for that. 40 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:33,560 That's naked rule. 41 00:02:58,950 --> 00:02:59,950 Who's this? 42 00:03:00,890 --> 00:03:02,150 Don't tell her real name. 43 00:03:03,330 --> 00:03:05,490 Uh, I'm Beavis. 44 00:03:06,190 --> 00:03:07,530 And he's Butthead. 45 00:03:08,870 --> 00:03:10,730 Yeah, yeah, me too. 46 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:36,279 Hey, Beavis. 47 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:38,760 I think I just inoculated. 48 00:03:45,380 --> 00:03:46,380 So? 49 00:03:47,220 --> 00:03:48,820 What do you want to talk about? 50 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:52,820 Uh... Don't be shy. 51 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:58,340 Well, uh... Could you, like, put the phone on your butt? 52 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:03,580 Oh, Beavis. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! 53 00:04:26,190 --> 00:04:30,410 It's your phone sex, I am. Hey, I warned you about that language. 54 00:04:31,470 --> 00:04:33,210 What's with this damn chair? 55 00:04:34,850 --> 00:04:35,850 What's this? 56 00:04:36,570 --> 00:04:41,250 Hey, hey, hey, put it back. Put it back. Put the phone back. You still there? 57 00:04:43,310 --> 00:04:50,130 With the money you spend on phone sex, you ought to start your 58 00:04:50,130 --> 00:04:52,330 own 900 number. 59 00:04:52,890 --> 00:04:54,370 Cool. Yeah, yeah. 60 00:05:01,130 --> 00:05:03,410 I'm Jay Weidelman, your phone company representative. 61 00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:04,810 How can I help you? 62 00:05:05,350 --> 00:05:08,810 Uh, we want to, like, get our own 900 number. 63 00:05:09,270 --> 00:05:11,370 Oh, starting your own business. 64 00:05:11,630 --> 00:05:13,370 A piece of the American dream. 65 00:05:13,690 --> 00:05:14,730 What type of line? 66 00:05:14,970 --> 00:05:16,110 Sports, information. 67 00:05:16,530 --> 00:05:18,090 We want to meet chicks. 68 00:05:18,410 --> 00:05:19,730 Yeah, and score. 69 00:05:21,030 --> 00:05:22,750 Social interaction. 70 00:05:23,670 --> 00:05:25,230 What's your current rate of income? 71 00:05:26,070 --> 00:05:28,510 Uh, six. 72 00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:32,100 Fifteen thousand. 73 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:33,440 Education? 74 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:35,580 Um, is that like school? 75 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:39,140 We'll put down third grade. 76 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:41,480 Now, boys, this is very important. 77 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:46,380 A 900 number is a bond of trust between customer and proprietor. You're asking 78 00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:50,200 people to call you and pay for the privilege because you're providing a 79 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:53,960 service. You do intend to provide a valuable service, don't you? 80 00:05:57,220 --> 00:05:59,460 No. That's what I like to hear. 81 00:05:59,930 --> 00:06:02,410 Congratulations, boys. You're on the gravy train. 82 00:06:02,650 --> 00:06:05,470 All you have to do is sign at the bottom and put today's date. 83 00:06:10,570 --> 00:06:16,890 Keep your eyes on your own paper, butt burglar. 84 00:06:18,470 --> 00:06:19,470 That's hard. 85 00:06:19,970 --> 00:06:20,970 Yeah. 86 00:06:21,430 --> 00:06:23,270 Getting a 900 number sucks. 87 00:06:23,790 --> 00:06:24,790 Yeah. 88 00:06:26,270 --> 00:06:27,690 Where are you going? 89 00:06:28,380 --> 00:06:30,900 We're going to get our phone sex the old -fashioned way. 90 00:06:32,180 --> 00:06:33,240 Yeah, yeah. 91 00:06:34,740 --> 00:06:35,740 What way is that? 92 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,080 We'll call from Stewart's place. 93 00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:41,500 Oh, yeah, yeah. 94 00:06:44,740 --> 00:06:51,460 Put it in? 95 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:56,640 Cool. Yeah, yeah. Put it in. Put it in. 96 00:07:04,670 --> 00:07:05,670 Man. 97 00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:10,250 I bet this is, like, the horniest dude that ever lived. 98 00:07:10,810 --> 00:07:11,810 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 99 00:07:13,990 --> 00:07:16,950 He should, like, wear one of those Viking hats with horns on it. 100 00:07:18,110 --> 00:07:19,110 What? 101 00:07:21,470 --> 00:07:22,810 You're a weirdo, Viva. 102 00:07:23,230 --> 00:07:24,230 Yeah, yeah. 103 00:07:24,250 --> 00:07:27,450 How come every time I'm talking about chicks and stuff, you just, like, don't 104 00:07:27,450 --> 00:07:28,450 get it? 105 00:07:30,730 --> 00:07:31,730 I get it. 106 00:07:32,510 --> 00:07:35,190 It's just that, you know, I thought it would look cool if, like, he had this 107 00:07:35,190 --> 00:07:36,190 on with some horns on it. 108 00:07:37,370 --> 00:07:38,370 Yeah. Yeah. 109 00:07:39,410 --> 00:07:40,410 Eric's a rod. 110 00:07:41,870 --> 00:07:42,589 Yeah, yeah. 111 00:07:42,590 --> 00:07:43,590 He's a rod. 112 00:07:43,690 --> 00:07:44,890 See? See? I got that. 113 00:07:46,470 --> 00:07:47,470 Yeah. He's a rod. 114 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:01,200 Whoa. 115 00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:04,920 This is one horny dude. 116 00:08:05,660 --> 00:08:06,660 Yeah, yeah. 117 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,640 Right there. 118 00:08:12,380 --> 00:08:14,740 Right there. 119 00:09:23,210 --> 00:09:24,209 camera still. 120 00:09:24,210 --> 00:09:25,210 Yeah, really. 121 00:09:27,510 --> 00:09:29,030 I'm sick of videos. 122 00:09:30,550 --> 00:09:33,490 It's like, they have, like, all the fast camera crap. 123 00:09:34,970 --> 00:09:38,350 And that's like, they show them, whoa, look what that chick's doing. 124 00:09:38,710 --> 00:09:39,669 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 125 00:09:39,670 --> 00:09:40,810 Wait, where, where? 126 00:09:41,410 --> 00:09:42,710 Where, where, buddy? 127 00:09:43,330 --> 00:09:44,710 It's gone now, Beavis. 128 00:09:45,630 --> 00:09:46,730 You missed it. 129 00:09:47,230 --> 00:09:48,230 Yeah, 130 00:09:48,510 --> 00:09:49,509 maybe I'll show it again. 131 00:09:49,510 --> 00:09:50,790 Yeah, that would be cool. 132 00:09:54,579 --> 00:09:58,860 Cool. But it's like, if they just showed that, like, the whole time, then it 133 00:09:58,860 --> 00:09:59,860 would be pretty cool. 134 00:10:00,060 --> 00:10:03,700 Yeah, yeah. It's like, why don't they just, like, take the good part of a 135 00:10:03,700 --> 00:10:06,440 and then, like, make it longer? Whoa. And then, like, look at that. 136 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:10,140 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's two chicks making out. Look. 137 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:11,800 Yeah. Yeah. 138 00:10:12,540 --> 00:10:15,640 They must be, like, uh... Hey, wait a minute. What's going on? Is she naked? 139 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:20,960 Wait. This video is turning out to be pretty cool. 140 00:10:23,330 --> 00:10:27,530 They must be like some of those Libyans. Yeah, yeah. 141 00:10:28,950 --> 00:10:29,950 Libyans are cool. 142 00:10:31,810 --> 00:10:32,810 Whoa. 143 00:10:33,730 --> 00:10:34,810 That was cool. 9224