All language subtitles for Beavis and Butthead S04E09 1-900-Beavis
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1
00:00:06,700 --> 00:00:08,140
Don't waste your life away watching TV.
2
00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:11,880
Call our free 800 number and get started
in the exciting field of hair removal.
3
00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:14,700
Stuck in a dead -end job?
4
00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:17,960
Why, when you could be earning top
dollars in appellate court, Judge?
5
00:00:18,180 --> 00:00:21,660
Just call this toll -free number and our
well -trained instructors... Hello.
6
00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:24,980
Got something on your mind?
7
00:00:26,300 --> 00:00:32,960
Call at 1 -900... Just $9 .99 a minute.
8
00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:35,160
What are you waiting for?
9
00:00:55,500 --> 00:00:57,120
She said something.
10
00:00:57,500 --> 00:00:58,500
Yeah, yeah.
11
00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:01,840
Water,
12
00:01:05,060 --> 00:01:06,660
water. Yeah, yeah, water, water.
13
00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:08,580
So what, Beavis?
14
00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:11,640
I don't know, water's cool.
15
00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:16,960
Yeah, yeah.
16
00:01:17,180 --> 00:01:18,920
This seems pretty cool.
17
00:01:19,290 --> 00:01:21,010
Yeah, yeah. Ooh, baby.
18
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Yeah.
19
00:01:26,130 --> 00:01:27,250
Ooh, baby.
20
00:01:27,670 --> 00:01:31,750
Yeah. This chick is hot. These chicks
are cool.
21
00:01:32,030 --> 00:01:33,030
Yeah, yeah.
22
00:01:36,450 --> 00:01:42,310
This chick's pretty hot, but it's like,
they have a tendency to wear too many
23
00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:47,770
clothes. If you just, like, take that
damn turtleneck off, it's like, hey,
24
00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:51,720
Whoa, whoa, did she say erection?
25
00:01:53,140 --> 00:01:54,140
I hope so.
26
00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:56,760
I'll say erection.
27
00:01:58,020 --> 00:01:59,860
I don't care if you say it, Viva.
28
00:02:00,340 --> 00:02:01,340
Oh, yeah.
29
00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:03,340
Well, I think she said it right.
30
00:02:05,020 --> 00:02:11,920
Damn it, this video's been on for two
minutes and she's still not
31
00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:12,920
naked.
32
00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:14,860
Well, her face is naked.
33
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For what, Viva?
34
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Every girl's face was naked.
35
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Really?
36
00:02:20,820 --> 00:02:24,300
That'd be cool if, like, they put
clothes on their face, but then, like,
37
00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:25,099
their body.
38
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Yeah. I'd settle for that.
39
00:02:27,220 --> 00:02:29,440
Yeah. I bet chicks would go for that.
40
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That's naked rule.
41
00:02:58,950 --> 00:02:59,950
Who's this?
42
00:03:00,890 --> 00:03:02,150
Don't tell her real name.
43
00:03:03,330 --> 00:03:05,490
Uh, I'm Beavis.
44
00:03:06,190 --> 00:03:07,530
And he's Butthead.
45
00:03:08,870 --> 00:03:10,730
Yeah, yeah, me too.
46
00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:36,279
Hey, Beavis.
47
00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:38,760
I think I just inoculated.
48
00:03:45,380 --> 00:03:46,380
So?
49
00:03:47,220 --> 00:03:48,820
What do you want to talk about?
50
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:52,820
Uh... Don't be shy.
51
00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:58,340
Well, uh... Could you, like, put the
phone on your butt?
52
00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:03,580
Oh, Beavis. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
53
00:04:26,190 --> 00:04:30,410
It's your phone sex, I am. Hey, I warned
you about that language.
54
00:04:31,470 --> 00:04:33,210
What's with this damn chair?
55
00:04:34,850 --> 00:04:35,850
What's this?
56
00:04:36,570 --> 00:04:41,250
Hey, hey, hey, put it back. Put it back.
Put the phone back. You still there?
57
00:04:43,310 --> 00:04:50,130
With the money you spend on phone sex,
you ought to start your
58
00:04:50,130 --> 00:04:52,330
own 900 number.
59
00:04:52,890 --> 00:04:54,370
Cool. Yeah, yeah.
60
00:05:01,130 --> 00:05:03,410
I'm Jay Weidelman, your phone company
representative.
61
00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:04,810
How can I help you?
62
00:05:05,350 --> 00:05:08,810
Uh, we want to, like, get our own 900
number.
63
00:05:09,270 --> 00:05:11,370
Oh, starting your own business.
64
00:05:11,630 --> 00:05:13,370
A piece of the American dream.
65
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What type of line?
66
00:05:14,970 --> 00:05:16,110
Sports, information.
67
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We want to meet chicks.
68
00:05:18,410 --> 00:05:19,730
Yeah, and score.
69
00:05:21,030 --> 00:05:22,750
Social interaction.
70
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What's your current rate of income?
71
00:05:26,070 --> 00:05:28,510
Uh, six.
72
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Fifteen thousand.
73
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Education?
74
00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:35,580
Um, is that like school?
75
00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:39,140
We'll put down third grade.
76
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:41,480
Now, boys, this is very important.
77
00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:46,380
A 900 number is a bond of trust between
customer and proprietor. You're asking
78
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:50,200
people to call you and pay for the
privilege because you're providing a
79
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:53,960
service. You do intend to provide a
valuable service, don't you?
80
00:05:57,220 --> 00:05:59,460
No. That's what I like to hear.
81
00:05:59,930 --> 00:06:02,410
Congratulations, boys. You're on the
gravy train.
82
00:06:02,650 --> 00:06:05,470
All you have to do is sign at the bottom
and put today's date.
83
00:06:10,570 --> 00:06:16,890
Keep your eyes on your own paper, butt
burglar.
84
00:06:18,470 --> 00:06:19,470
That's hard.
85
00:06:19,970 --> 00:06:20,970
Yeah.
86
00:06:21,430 --> 00:06:23,270
Getting a 900 number sucks.
87
00:06:23,790 --> 00:06:24,790
Yeah.
88
00:06:26,270 --> 00:06:27,690
Where are you going?
89
00:06:28,380 --> 00:06:30,900
We're going to get our phone sex the old
-fashioned way.
90
00:06:32,180 --> 00:06:33,240
Yeah, yeah.
91
00:06:34,740 --> 00:06:35,740
What way is that?
92
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,080
We'll call from Stewart's place.
93
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:41,500
Oh, yeah, yeah.
94
00:06:44,740 --> 00:06:51,460
Put it in?
95
00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:56,640
Cool. Yeah, yeah. Put it in. Put it in.
96
00:07:04,670 --> 00:07:05,670
Man.
97
00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:10,250
I bet this is, like, the horniest dude
that ever lived.
98
00:07:10,810 --> 00:07:11,810
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
99
00:07:13,990 --> 00:07:16,950
He should, like, wear one of those
Viking hats with horns on it.
100
00:07:18,110 --> 00:07:19,110
What?
101
00:07:21,470 --> 00:07:22,810
You're a weirdo, Viva.
102
00:07:23,230 --> 00:07:24,230
Yeah, yeah.
103
00:07:24,250 --> 00:07:27,450
How come every time I'm talking about
chicks and stuff, you just, like, don't
104
00:07:27,450 --> 00:07:28,450
get it?
105
00:07:30,730 --> 00:07:31,730
I get it.
106
00:07:32,510 --> 00:07:35,190
It's just that, you know, I thought it
would look cool if, like, he had this
107
00:07:35,190 --> 00:07:36,190
on with some horns on it.
108
00:07:37,370 --> 00:07:38,370
Yeah. Yeah.
109
00:07:39,410 --> 00:07:40,410
Eric's a rod.
110
00:07:41,870 --> 00:07:42,589
Yeah, yeah.
111
00:07:42,590 --> 00:07:43,590
He's a rod.
112
00:07:43,690 --> 00:07:44,890
See? See? I got that.
113
00:07:46,470 --> 00:07:47,470
Yeah. He's a rod.
114
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:01,200
Whoa.
115
00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:04,920
This is one horny dude.
116
00:08:05,660 --> 00:08:06,660
Yeah, yeah.
117
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,640
Right there.
118
00:08:12,380 --> 00:08:14,740
Right there.
119
00:09:23,210 --> 00:09:24,209
camera still.
120
00:09:24,210 --> 00:09:25,210
Yeah, really.
121
00:09:27,510 --> 00:09:29,030
I'm sick of videos.
122
00:09:30,550 --> 00:09:33,490
It's like, they have, like, all the fast
camera crap.
123
00:09:34,970 --> 00:09:38,350
And that's like, they show them, whoa,
look what that chick's doing.
124
00:09:38,710 --> 00:09:39,669
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
125
00:09:39,670 --> 00:09:40,810
Wait, where, where?
126
00:09:41,410 --> 00:09:42,710
Where, where, buddy?
127
00:09:43,330 --> 00:09:44,710
It's gone now, Beavis.
128
00:09:45,630 --> 00:09:46,730
You missed it.
129
00:09:47,230 --> 00:09:48,230
Yeah,
130
00:09:48,510 --> 00:09:49,509
maybe I'll show it again.
131
00:09:49,510 --> 00:09:50,790
Yeah, that would be cool.
132
00:09:54,579 --> 00:09:58,860
Cool. But it's like, if they just showed
that, like, the whole time, then it
133
00:09:58,860 --> 00:09:59,860
would be pretty cool.
134
00:10:00,060 --> 00:10:03,700
Yeah, yeah. It's like, why don't they
just, like, take the good part of a
135
00:10:03,700 --> 00:10:06,440
and then, like, make it longer? Whoa.
And then, like, look at that.
136
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:10,140
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's two chicks making
out. Look.
137
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:11,800
Yeah. Yeah.
138
00:10:12,540 --> 00:10:15,640
They must be, like, uh... Hey, wait a
minute. What's going on? Is she naked?
139
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:20,960
Wait. This video is turning out to be
pretty cool.
140
00:10:23,330 --> 00:10:27,530
They must be like some of those Libyans.
Yeah, yeah.
141
00:10:28,950 --> 00:10:29,950
Libyans are cool.
142
00:10:31,810 --> 00:10:32,810
Whoa.
143
00:10:33,730 --> 00:10:34,810
That was cool.
9224
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