All language subtitles for Beavis and Butt Head s08e05 Holy Cornholio

look at his face I got an idea check
this

out

That's cool.

Hey, you guys shouldn't be in here. My
dad will be mad.

Yeah? Well, you're too old to be playing
with dolls, Stuart.

We're doing this for your own good.

Just trying to help.

Screw his butt.

Butt it!

It's in his butt. It hurts.

I wouldn't know.

I mean, the screw, like, went into my
hand.

Come on, get it out. Oh, my God. He's
bleeding.

Cool.

Don't worry.

I'll fix it. Come on, buddy. Do
something.

Settle down, Beavis.

Okay, this is gonna, like, hurt you a
lot more than it's gonna hurt me.

Now hold still, dumbass.

Cut it out, bunghole!

Oh, my God.

I think this screwdriver is, like,
broken or something. Oh, my God.

Butthead, you've got to get Beavis to
the hospital.

Don't worry, Beavis.

It's not the first time you've screwed
your hand.

Oh, no.

My waiter is a lean cuisine.

He has a nice smile, straight teeth.

Perfecto. Do you have a phone number?

Yeah.

Do you want me to have your phone
number?

That's Italian dudes like... I cannot
get Italian girls.

They all think I am loser because I am a
busboy and I live with my mom.

Yes, but American girls.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

How do you say, like, an easy girl? Easy
girl.

I'm not fat.

But I have watched season two and three
of Jersey Shore.

I know this is not true. Yes, you are
easy, like whore.

This is why I'm with you.

You're not my first choice, but you are
the sluttiest. I worked my way up from

you to Snooki, then to JWoww.

I come off as, like, a hard exterior,
and, like,

I can take, like, when the boys pick on
me. Yeah, she has a hard exterior, but

deep inside, she has a soft, nasty,
slutty center.

Go!

Get in there and have sex with him now!

You're wasting all our time.

Yeah, what TV show do you think you're
on here? Come on.

I don't care.

This dude's like, she will not put out.
How about I jump in bed with you guys?

I am soft like woman.

He realized he has to go fill water
glasses.

Uh, Beavis screwed his hand.

A doll!

Yes, he has a doll, I see.

Here, have a go.

Give me! No!

Ow!

Come out, butthole!

Mr.

Beavis, a doctor will see you now.

You might die.

Shut up, whatever.

There's nothing more I can do.

I'm sorry.

Love it.

Do not fear, my children.

Soon, I will transition to a new plane.

But first...

Leave me and Sister Mona alone so I can
share my sacred essence with her one

more time.

Wait, beloved.

You said you will come back to us in a
new vessel. How will we know you on your

return?

Well, I... Is this where the screw
penetrated the action figure's butt?

Uh.

Yes. I believe that is where the screw
made its point of entry. Yeah.

Entry.

Here's the thing. I won't be able to
remove it by simple extraction without

further damaging the surrounding soft
tissues.

That's what happens when Beavis screws
his hand.

Tissues. Do you need to be here? Uh,

yeah.

Okay.

Leave these on for a week. I'm going to
let your friend hold these for you.

These will help manage the pain. You
should take one three to four times

okay? But no more than that.

Sometimes these can cause hyperactivity,
especially in younger people.

Okay? Take care, boys.

Cool.

How many did he say? Come on, butthead.
Give me my painkiller vitamin thing.

Butthole.

That's better. Not bad.

A little bitter, but... Whoa.

Hospitals are cool.

We should just, like, hang out here.

He's so beautiful.

What are you guys going to name him?
Well, we've always liked the name Theo.

am Cornholio.

You will name your baby Bonholio.

Is he an albino?

Julio Bonholio.

He will be an albino and a gringo.

Are you going to feed them with your
boob?

That would be cool.

Oh, man.

Is that guy dead?

Or are they just, like, sleeping?

I don't know, but either way, it's cool.

Is

this

real? Housewives of Detroit.

I think that chick in the back is
dancing to a

different song.

I'm locked.

It's so cold in the deep.

It's so cold in the deep.

This is hard to dance to.

Something's off.

I think she was in Lion King.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I like her better in this, though,
you know?

Yeah.

This rules.

It's so cold in the deep.

Why would the Beloved have health
insurance?

He is the light, the leader.

Beloved? You mean Myron Turtlebaum?

Yes. Now, why would the Beloved need
health insurance, since he is the

of all that is healthy and pure? Well,
the essence didn't have any health

insurance. I am Cornholio. No, I'm
gonna... I have polio in my bunghole.

Interesting.

He speaks in tongues, just as the
Beloved said he would on his return. Is

possible?

Excuse me, young brother. May we ask you
a question?

Are you threatening me? My bunghole will
ask the questions.

Why do I not use kippy for my pippy?

The beloved always did like riddles.

You will be love my bunghole.

For I am the great Cornholio. I need
kippy for my bunghole.

Look,

his hands.

He has the stigmata.

Stigmatatata from Lake Titicaca.

The markings the beloved also spoke of.
He is the one, the new messiah.

Would you like some taco?

I am the beloved bunghole.

Uh,

check it out. An Indian.

Um, something I always wondered about
Indians.

Are they Mexican?

Uh, beaver?

Yeah. Remember you asked that question
in social studies, and the teacher sent

you to the principal's office?

Oh, yeah.

And the principal didn't know either.

You know,

until they started setting stuff on fire
and breaking stuff, I thought this was

that J .C. Penney back -to -school
commercial.

Did you know that Indians use every part
of the

firework? Whoa, really?

Nothing goes to waste.

Cool, yeah.

Boy, you don't want to park in the Cage
the Elephant's parking lot.

Can't really.

Cage the Elephant is not responsible for
any damage done to your vehicle.

Do you know what Cage the Elephant
means?

Oh, yeah.

Not like I'm choking your chicken.

Beavis, you think everything means that.

But, uh, in this case, it does.

Whoa!

That guy just caged an elephant.

No man should be without TB.

For there is but one bunghole.

The almighty bunghole.

The beloved is trying to tell us
something that I do not understand,

He's clearly channeling a higher source.

We must bring him back to the temple so
others can help interpret his meaning.

Thank you, beloved, for not making us
wait long for your return.

Let us take you back now to our
community. There are many people there

be happy to receive your message.

Hey, baby.

Want to receive my message?

Good news, Brother Untar. The Beloved
has already returned and brought with

a prophet.

Exalt the Beloved.

Hey, guys. I came to see how Beavis was
doing. Get out of here, Stuart.

We're like prophets.

Where are you guys going?

These people want us to, like, get in
their van.

And there's chicks.

Why don't you just move along, Stuart?

That sounds like a bad idea, Butthead.
Remember, stranger, danger.

Brother Butthead, would you like to
bring your friend?

Uh, no.

He wouldn't fit in.

I'm thinking about getting boob
implants.

Oh my gosh.

And so I'm kind of excited.

Let's check talks through the back of
her nose.

Yeah, her mom does too.

I make sure that I have my bills paid.
We have food to eat. I deserve to at

least treat myself.

Deserve to at least treat myself.

Does that cost a lot of money?

Does that cost a lot of money?

I'm going to need your help because I
can't, you know, lift Sophia.

So I'm going to take some time off while
I meet with the plastic surgeon.

Great, he has a mustache.

Okay, now just go ahead and arch your
back for me a little bit there. Yeah,

yeah.

Let me just go ahead and take these home
and load them into my computer.

Yeah, notify all the guys.

As far as fees, saving implants are $1
,000 cheaper than a silicone.

The doctor said you got to spend money
to make money.

Mom, I'm just calling you because I just
got my loan for the breast

augmentation. I just got my loan for
breast augmentation.

You can get a loan for big boob? Uh,
wow.

I'm going to take out a loan to get a
bigger schlong.

While you were at school, I called up
our lawyer.

He's like, Mom, all I want from you is
to shut up and take care of my baby and

get me my new boobs.

It's anybody's business unless I die.

I don't think it's anybody's business
unless I die.

And I will never die, for I am teen mom.

Nice to meet you.

Welcome. You ready? Uh -huh. Okay. And
this is where you sign your life form.

Okay, where do I find... Breath
augmentation.

He's here! He's here! Are you
threatening me?

You must all bow down to the almighty
Cornholio!

Now!

Why does he refer to himself as both
Cornholio and the almighty bunghole? It

the duality of nature that only the
beloved can fully understand.

You are all bungholes, each and every
one of you.

And now I must go, for I am the great
Cornholio.

I need keeping for my bunghole.

Bring me your tipi.

All your tipi.

You do not want to face the wrath of my
bunghole.

There must be more tipi. More tipi. More
tipi.

Now.

Repeat after me.

I am the great Cornholio. I need tipi
for my bunghole.

So, like, want to share our essence?

I'm a prophet.

It is not time.

This place is starting to suck.

It is troubling. We have spent all our
savings on toilet paper, and yet the

beloved still seems unsatisfied.

He was very angry we could not get him
more pills.

He clearly needs to cleanse himself of
toxins he absorbed in the great

We will have the festival of rebirth
tonight.

And tomorrow, we will have the great
conception.

Gather all the young women and tell them
to prepare their bodies for his sacred

essence.

And get him more of those pills.

I am an albino.

no bunghole.

You will now make an offering to the
almighty bunghole.

For I have an albino in my bunghole.

You must now offer the bunghole.

I'm tired.

Let's get out of here, Beavis.

All these chicks want to do is talk
about spiritual blessings and stuff.

We're never going to score here.

My hands hurt.

Cornholio, Prophet Butthead. Tomorrow we
will engage in the Great Conception.

The Great what?

Contraption what?

Yes, tonight the vessels must prepare
themselves to receive your essence.

There will be a... Well, the essence
must have vessels in the blue. Let's get

out of here, Beavis.

Perhaps it's good that they rest up for
tomorrow. Yes.

It is very good that the Beloved and
Prophet Butthead are so young. They must

have great energy to make love to us all
tomorrow.

Let's play Fox.

And here is the bed.

Is this the teen mom where she gets her
boob operation?

Yeah, cool.

Now let's see how these things turned
out.

Breast augmentation.

I'm afraid we've lost her.

Don't worry, her boobs are fine. So no
refunds.

Looking good.

Did her dad just say looking good?

Yeah, nice boobs, honey.

Come on, get down those stairs.

They didn't give you fake legs.

Yeah. You didn't walk this slow after
you had the baby.

It's okay, honey.

It's okay.

I know the baby is bumming you out.
Don't worry, I'll get rid of her.

Not on my arm. Not on my arms, Dad. On
my boobs.

Dumbass.

She's like, don't feed those to the
baby. I need them for my boobs.

And bring the frozen tater tots, too,
before she eats those.

That beloved place sucked.

There were, like, all these chicks
following us around, but then they

want to do anything.

Yeah, that sucked.

Now I can't even spank my monkey.

Beavis, are you all right? Did those
people...

Touch you?

No.

Oh, good.

Well, my dad wanted you to sign these
papers saying you're not going to sue

Cornholio, we need you to return for the
Great Conception.

I'm, like, busy.

Go away.

We don't understand.

Wasn't the Beloved reincarnated in you
to tell us what to do? Is this not what

you want?

He's the Beloved now.

Go bother him.

Get out of here.

Where are you taking me? To the Great
Conception.

Conception? Doesn't that mean something
with sex?

Yeah.

Oh, right!

What a dumbass.

He thinks he's gonna score.

Yeah, really.

What a dumbass.

Yay!