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1
00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:10,080
Get the door, Beaver.
2
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Um,
3
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here's the new phone book, dude.
4
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Yeah.
5
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Hey, buddy, check it out.
6
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New phone book.
7
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Cool.
8
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:29,340
Let's, like, call someone.
9
00:00:29,700 --> 00:00:30,700
Yeah.
10
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Uh... Taylor... Bob... No.
11
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Uh... M -M -Matthews. Al.
12
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No. Come on, buddy.
13
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Uh... Thack. Thack.
14
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Harry.
15
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Harry Thack.
16
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Harry Thack.
17
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This is gonna be cool.
18
00:01:05,310 --> 00:01:07,310
Uh... Who's that?
19
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This is Bucky Hayes.
20
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Uh, okay.
21
00:01:18,220 --> 00:01:19,900
Whoa, is that supposed to be a dream?
22
00:01:20,780 --> 00:01:24,120
Uh, no, this dude really lives like
this.
23
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Whoa. That's cool.
24
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It's like, if you were scoring with two
chicks at the same time in real life,
25
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what would you dream about?
26
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Because all I dream about now is
scoring.
27
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Well, if I was scoring with two chicks
at the same time in real life, then I
28
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would dream about scoring with three
chicks.
29
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And if I was scoring with three chicks,
I'd dream about scoring with four
30
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chicks. Yeah.
31
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And then if I had five chicks at the
same time, I'd just put my face in all
32
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their butt cheeks and go...
33
00:02:04,370 --> 00:02:15,790
Whoa,
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her butt looks better in pants than most
chicks' butts look naked.
35
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Her butt looks better in pants than most
chicks' butts look naked.
36
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Her butt looks better in pants than most
chicks' butts look naked.
37
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Her butt looks better in pants than most
chicks' butts look naked.
38
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Hairy sack.
39
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Hello. I'm calling back.
40
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Uh, okay.
41
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This time, let's say something.
42
00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:02,600
Okay.
43
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Uh, hello?
44
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:10,520
I'm... I'm... You suck!
45
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That was pretty funny, Viva.
46
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Hello?
47
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It's Harry Sacks!
48
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No!
49
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No!
50
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Now, somebody's gonna die.
51
00:04:07,070 --> 00:04:08,070
Uh,
52
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hello?
53
00:04:12,010 --> 00:04:13,570
Hey, congratulations.
54
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You just won yourself a free pizza.
55
00:04:17,329 --> 00:04:21,740
Cool. We'll be ha - to deliver it right
over to your house.
56
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What's your address?
57
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Uh... You don't know your own address?
58
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:33,960
Uh... Uh, tell you what.
59
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Do you have any mail around?
60
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Read me the address off of that.
61
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:41,000
Hey, is there any, like, mail around
here?
62
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Um, let's see.
63
00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:46,320
Just that stuff we took out of Stuart's
mailbox.
64
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Uh, okay.
65
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Stuart Stevenson. Uh, 67 Maple Street.
66
00:05:03,650 --> 00:05:07,030
Now hurry up and get that pizza over
here. I'm hungry.
67
00:05:11,070 --> 00:05:17,470
Here for some cookies, Stuart?
68
00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:19,370
Oh, right. Thanks, Mom.
69
00:05:21,330 --> 00:05:22,870
You little worm!
70
00:05:23,150 --> 00:05:24,150
Was it you?
71
00:05:28,190 --> 00:05:32,870
Damn it. What's all the noise in here?
I'm on the phone. Oh, my God.
72
00:05:33,130 --> 00:05:37,390
It was you, wasn't it? I'll kill you.
Damn it. Operator. Ah, no.
73
00:05:38,530 --> 00:05:39,530
Hey,
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this is between you and Stewart. Get
him.
75
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Please.
76
00:05:45,830 --> 00:05:48,350
You like the way that sounds, funny man?
77
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Huh? You must be Stewart.
78
00:05:52,230 --> 00:05:54,530
Listen very carefully, funny man.
79
00:05:54,730 --> 00:05:55,730
Please.
80
00:05:58,860 --> 00:06:02,880
I swear I'll find you wherever you are
and I'll gut you.
81
00:06:03,140 --> 00:06:08,520
But just to be sure you don't call me,
I'm going to stick your phone where
82
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you'll have an awful hard time dialing
it. No, please, no.
83
00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:23,320
Bon Jovi.
84
00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:32,900
But you know, um, this song, it's kind
of, um, uh, never mind.
85
00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:35,340
Uh, what?
86
00:06:36,620 --> 00:06:40,440
Well, um, I was just gonna say, you
know, this song, I mean, um, you know,
87
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sucks, but, um, but there's this one
part that I kind of like where it kind
88
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goes, um, give me something for the
pain.
89
00:06:46,860 --> 00:06:49,040
Uh, what did you say, Beavis?
90
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:53,680
Well, no, I'm just saying, you know, um,
you know, I kind of like this one part
91
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,960
of the song, you know, where it goes,
give me something for the pain.
92
00:07:00,050 --> 00:07:01,130
Cut it out, bunghole.
93
00:07:02,230 --> 00:07:05,930
I'm doing it for your own good, Beaver.
You're starting to like this song.
94
00:07:07,110 --> 00:07:12,410
Well, no, I mean, I still think Bon Jovi
sucks, but I just kind of think this
95
00:07:12,410 --> 00:07:18,850
song, you know, kind of, there's just
this one part that's kind of like... If
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you say one more good thing about Bon
Jovi, I'm going to really smack the
97
00:07:23,490 --> 00:07:24,490
bejesus out of you.
98
00:07:25,750 --> 00:07:26,790
Okay, well, you know what I mean.
99
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:33,340
Okay, so it sucks, but it doesn't suck
as much as... Cut
100
00:07:33,340 --> 00:07:34,340
it out.
101
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:36,920
Damn it, butthead. Bon Jovi rules.
102
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,240
Take that.
103
00:07:43,620 --> 00:07:44,780
Yeah, I like this song.
104
00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:46,760
This sucks.
105
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:51,540
As soon as my nads feel better, I'm
going to beat the living crap out of
106
00:07:53,980 --> 00:07:55,440
You can't tell me what sucks.
107
00:07:56,670 --> 00:07:57,670
Right.
108
00:07:57,990 --> 00:08:00,490
I like this. So blow it up your ass.
109
00:08:03,210 --> 00:08:04,350
Hey. Ow.
110
00:08:04,570 --> 00:08:05,950
Take it easy. Be careful.
111
00:08:06,990 --> 00:08:11,170
Damn it. I'm hungry. Where the hell's my
pizza?
112
00:08:12,130 --> 00:08:13,130
Whoa.
113
00:08:13,630 --> 00:08:15,890
Hey, buddy. It looks like something's
going on at Stuart's house.
114
00:08:16,750 --> 00:08:17,750
Oh, yeah?
115
00:08:18,570 --> 00:08:19,570
Let's call him.
116
00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:29,700
Somebody get that. That might be the
office.
117
00:08:29,940 --> 00:08:30,940
Ah!
118
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:35,080
Eh.
119
00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:40,280
Nobody's home.
120
00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:44,560
Let's call that Harry Fack dude again.
121
00:08:45,560 --> 00:08:47,920
Yeah. Harry Fack.
122
00:09:09,380 --> 00:09:14,440
Oh, no. This video freaks me out. It's
like, you know, I get all excited when I
123
00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:18,200
see the checks and I see these stubby
dudes and it, like, makes my testes
124
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:19,980
retract into my globules.
125
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:21,760
Yeah.
126
00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:26,580
It gives me a special feeling in my
seminiferous tubules.
127
00:09:27,790 --> 00:09:28,790
Yeah, yeah.
128
00:09:29,130 --> 00:09:32,310
I want to do every single girl in this
video.
129
00:09:33,530 --> 00:09:37,770
Uh, you want to do, like, every girl in
every video, Beaver?
130
00:09:38,650 --> 00:09:39,650
Um, no.
131
00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:42,450
Not really.
132
00:09:43,170 --> 00:09:47,030
Uh, name one girl in a video that you
wouldn't want to do.
133
00:09:47,990 --> 00:09:49,890
Boy, let me think. Oh, I know.
134
00:09:50,790 --> 00:09:54,550
Um, there's that one, uh, video, you
know, where they're, like, uh, you know,
135
00:09:54,550 --> 00:09:56,070
Bangkok stealing, and, um...
136
00:09:56,550 --> 00:09:59,950
That one girl and she's like, you know,
stuffing fruit and stuff down her shirt.
137
00:10:00,410 --> 00:10:01,910
I don't want to do her.
138
00:10:05,010 --> 00:10:07,150
That's a dude dressed up like a girl,
Beaver.
139
00:10:08,490 --> 00:10:09,590
That doesn't count.
140
00:10:10,450 --> 00:10:11,450
Oh, okay.
141
00:10:11,730 --> 00:10:18,090
Well, let me... Wilson. Well, I guess
I'd do her.
142
00:10:18,690 --> 00:10:20,190
Oh, me.
143
00:10:20,670 --> 00:10:21,670
No.
144
00:10:21,970 --> 00:10:22,970
Boy,
145
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:24,490
maybe you're right.
146
00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:28,260
I just want to make love with all the
women of the world.
147
00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:30,360
Yeah.
148
00:10:30,980 --> 00:10:31,980
Me too.
149
00:10:32,030 --> 00:10:36,580
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