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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:26,740 --> 00:00:27,740 Dammit. 2 00:00:27,940 --> 00:00:29,780 There's gotta be a better way to get chicks. 3 00:00:30,020 --> 00:00:31,320 Yeah. If I... 4 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:34,220 I really thought this one was gonna work this time. Yeah. 5 00:00:37,860 --> 00:00:42,060 Hey, Beavis. Let's check out the bathroom. Sometimes they have good 6 00:00:42,060 --> 00:00:43,060 the walls. 7 00:00:44,540 --> 00:00:45,540 Whoa. 8 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:50,120 Check it out. 9 00:00:56,620 --> 00:00:58,100 Spanish fly. 10 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:03,910 Whoa. That's that stuff that makes chicks horny. It makes chicks horny? 11 00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:06,750 Cool. Let's get some. Yeah. 12 00:01:07,170 --> 00:01:08,230 Uh, okay. 13 00:01:15,870 --> 00:01:19,330 Hey, Beavis. Now we can, like, have any chick we want. 14 00:01:19,890 --> 00:01:20,890 Yeah, yeah. 15 00:01:20,910 --> 00:01:22,070 Yeah, we're gonna roll. 16 00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:24,090 We're gonna score. 17 00:01:30,060 --> 00:01:31,580 How come that guitar is in the hospital? 18 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:33,878 I don't know. 19 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:34,880 Okay. 20 00:01:34,980 --> 00:01:36,000 Okay, you don't have to say anything. 21 00:01:37,540 --> 00:01:41,560 Um, hey. I asked you a question, but, um... But, you know, that's okay. 22 00:01:44,540 --> 00:01:49,980 This looks like that movie, uh... One Flew in the Cuckoo's Nest. 23 00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:51,720 Oh, yeah, yeah. 24 00:01:51,740 --> 00:01:53,720 That's that movie with all those dudes in taxi. 25 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:55,360 Only they're retarded. 26 00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:58,160 Uh... 27 00:01:58,780 --> 00:02:01,120 You know, I think you're not supposed to call him retarded. 28 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:06,740 You're supposed to call him, uh, like, mentally superior or something. 29 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:08,199 Oh, yeah, yeah. 30 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:11,960 Remember that big Indian dude in that movie? 31 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:13,460 Mm -hmm. He was cool. 32 00:02:14,060 --> 00:02:16,920 And then he couldn't talk unless he was talking about gum? 33 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:18,160 Yeah. 34 00:02:18,820 --> 00:02:22,380 Uh, you know, I think you're not supposed to say Indian either. 35 00:02:22,860 --> 00:02:23,860 No way, really? 36 00:02:23,940 --> 00:02:27,200 Yeah. I think you're supposed to call him African -American. 37 00:02:41,660 --> 00:02:47,240 This reminds me of that joke. It's like the guy goes to the psychiatrist and he 38 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:50,540 says, Doctor, my wife thinks she's a chicken. 39 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:54,400 And the doctor says, Well, then why don't you choke her? 40 00:02:58,950 --> 00:02:59,950 That's pretty funny. 41 00:03:00,250 --> 00:03:01,250 Ah, boy. 42 00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:06,310 Hey, Beavis. 43 00:03:07,210 --> 00:03:12,590 If you, like, abstract a chick, then I can, like, stick it in her taco. 44 00:03:14,250 --> 00:03:17,130 No way, butthead. We have to, like, give her the Spanish fly first. 45 00:03:17,630 --> 00:03:20,730 What the hell do you think I'm talking about, butt plug? 46 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:31,000 Uh, hey. Yeah, like, um, how's it going? 47 00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:35,580 Is there even one reason I should acknowledge your presence? 48 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:37,660 Um, well, 49 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:41,180 um, what? 50 00:03:41,860 --> 00:03:44,700 Uh, you look pretty hungry. 51 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:48,020 Actually, I suddenly lost my appetite. 52 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:54,060 Uh, no you didn't. I mean, uh, you shouldn't, like, waste food and stuff. 53 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:59,160 Uh, because there's, like, starving people in, uh, Indiana or something. 54 00:04:00,020 --> 00:04:02,980 Yeah, yeah. For pennies a day, we can end the suffering. 55 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:04,680 I'll catch you later. 56 00:04:12,580 --> 00:04:13,800 Uh, hmm. 57 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:18,140 Uh, okay. 58 00:04:19,899 --> 00:04:20,940 Check this out. 59 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:34,000 So, like, that milk looks pretty good. 60 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:40,940 I bet it's, like, very refreshing and stuff. 61 00:04:42,380 --> 00:04:43,900 Drink it! Drink it! Come on! 62 00:04:44,220 --> 00:04:46,460 What the hell are you talking about? It's not even mine. 63 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:56,360 Uh -oh. Oh, no. 64 00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:58,100 Let's get out of here. 65 00:04:58,540 --> 00:04:59,540 Yeah. 66 00:05:00,220 --> 00:05:02,500 I think it's time for class or something. 67 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:05,660 Uh -oh. 68 00:05:09,940 --> 00:05:11,260 Check it out, butthead. That's him. 69 00:05:12,180 --> 00:05:13,180 Oh, no. 70 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:14,700 He's getting naked. 71 00:05:14,980 --> 00:05:15,980 Yeah, yeah. 72 00:05:16,140 --> 00:05:18,160 That Spanish fly stuff must be working. 73 00:05:23,330 --> 00:05:25,290 What the hell is wrong with you? 74 00:05:25,550 --> 00:05:27,870 Uh, I'm like sick and stuff. 75 00:05:29,030 --> 00:05:30,970 Like, I wouldn't want you to get too close. 76 00:05:31,190 --> 00:05:32,190 Yeah, me too. 77 00:05:35,670 --> 00:05:36,670 Ah, 78 00:05:38,510 --> 00:05:39,489 don't touch me! 79 00:05:39,490 --> 00:05:43,510 What did you say? Man, you guys are really starting to piss me off. 80 00:05:45,350 --> 00:05:47,670 Whoa, he's really horny. 81 00:05:48,590 --> 00:05:49,770 Beavis and Butthead! 82 00:05:50,030 --> 00:05:52,290 Why in the hell aren't you undressed yet? 83 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:57,420 Uh, because a man wants to have sex with us? Shut up and get in the gym now! 84 00:05:57,980 --> 00:06:03,860 The sport of wrestling represents competition in its purest form. Man 85 00:06:03,860 --> 00:06:04,860 man. 86 00:06:07,740 --> 00:06:12,320 Now, Tommy, since you're about the only student in this class with a physique 87 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:16,020 that doesn't make my colon clench, I want you to choose an opponent. 88 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,080 I choose this little punk. 89 00:06:19,900 --> 00:06:20,900 Wait a minute. 90 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:23,760 No way. Damn it, Beavis. You have been challenged. 91 00:06:23,980 --> 00:06:25,740 Now get down on all fours. 92 00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:28,080 No. No. 93 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:38,060 What is this? 94 00:06:39,140 --> 00:06:40,760 I don't really care. 95 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:48,280 Look at all these people just lying around like a bunch of lazy slobs. 96 00:06:49,370 --> 00:06:51,990 Really, they need to get up and get a job. 97 00:06:52,970 --> 00:06:54,370 Yeah. Damn it. 98 00:06:57,030 --> 00:07:01,430 Did you know that in California, any chick will do it with you? 99 00:07:02,350 --> 00:07:03,350 Really? 100 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:06,230 You mean like all the girls are slut? 101 00:07:07,670 --> 00:07:08,670 Yep. 102 00:07:09,250 --> 00:07:10,430 Whoa, now that is cool. 103 00:07:11,170 --> 00:07:12,350 Yeah, yeah, let's go. 104 00:07:15,150 --> 00:07:17,190 You know another thing about California? 105 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:20,520 It's like all the dudes there look like Kato Kaelin. 106 00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:24,920 You know, I mean, he seems like a great guy, you know? 107 00:07:25,580 --> 00:07:26,580 Yeah. 108 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:31,620 That's how come, like, you know, everyone just lets him live at their 109 00:07:31,620 --> 00:07:32,620 know, like O .J. Simpson. 110 00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:35,180 He goes, you know, you're a great guy. 111 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:38,860 Why don't you come on over and stay a while? 112 00:07:39,260 --> 00:07:44,320 Yeah, I'd let him crash here, you know, because he seems like such a great guy. 113 00:07:45,140 --> 00:07:46,140 Yeah. 114 00:07:46,940 --> 00:07:48,340 What a great guy. 115 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:53,580 Except he kind of looks like the ass end of a dolphin. 116 00:07:54,660 --> 00:07:56,960 Yeah, he does, sort of. 117 00:07:57,860 --> 00:07:58,900 But that's okay. 118 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,220 Because he's cool. 119 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:06,560 Tommy, 120 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:12,380 Mount Beavis, now! 121 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:21,000 Help! He's got a boner! Ah! Get off me, Spartan! 122 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:22,240 Ah! 123 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:27,380 Help! He's trying to do it with me! Ah! Cut it out! Kick him in the nads, 124 00:08:27,420 --> 00:08:28,420 Beavis. 125 00:08:30,660 --> 00:08:31,660 Whoa. 126 00:08:32,659 --> 00:08:33,940 That was cool. 127 00:08:34,179 --> 00:08:35,520 Beavis! Get back here! 128 00:08:36,059 --> 00:08:37,059 Hurry up, butthead. 129 00:08:37,340 --> 00:08:39,600 Let's get out of here before he tries to screw us all. 130 00:08:40,580 --> 00:08:42,120 That stuff really works. 131 00:08:55,980 --> 00:08:56,980 What is that? 132 00:08:57,960 --> 00:08:58,960 It's a hoe. 133 00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:02,440 Yeah, I know, but what's that thing she's dragging behind her? 134 00:09:04,860 --> 00:09:07,540 Why is that funny? 135 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:08,880 Because, Beaver. 136 00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:12,920 You thought when I said a hoe that I was talking about the chick, but I was 137 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:13,920 talking about the hoe. 138 00:09:15,340 --> 00:09:16,780 Okay, but why is that funny? 139 00:09:17,060 --> 00:09:18,060 Damn it, Beaver. 140 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:22,580 Because, like, when a word means two things like that, it's pretty funny. 141 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:24,920 I'll be damned. 142 00:09:25,630 --> 00:09:26,630 I didn't know that. 143 00:09:26,830 --> 00:09:28,730 You know, it's like choking your chicken. 144 00:09:29,130 --> 00:09:32,890 Could be like, you know, if you had a pet chicken and you were like choking 145 00:09:33,330 --> 00:09:35,730 Or it could mean, you know, like you're choking your chicken. 146 00:09:36,670 --> 00:09:38,830 Now that's funny. 147 00:09:39,310 --> 00:09:40,310 Choking your chicken. 148 00:09:40,990 --> 00:09:41,990 That's pretty funny. 149 00:09:45,150 --> 00:09:46,410 I get that one. 150 00:09:47,110 --> 00:09:48,110 Okay, okay. 151 00:09:48,430 --> 00:09:49,430 I got one. 152 00:09:50,910 --> 00:09:51,910 Masturbating. 153 00:09:55,730 --> 00:09:58,570 That doesn't work, Beaver. It does. 154 00:09:58,930 --> 00:10:00,370 I do it all the time. 155 00:10:05,010 --> 00:10:11,990 Let's check 156 00:10:11,990 --> 00:10:13,470 out small nostrils. 157 00:10:14,130 --> 00:10:15,150 Yeah, well, I'm... 158 00:10:15,370 --> 00:10:17,850 I think anybody's nostrils would look small to you, butthead. 159 00:10:18,130 --> 00:10:19,390 You look like a cow. 160 00:10:20,590 --> 00:10:24,830 Well, I may have big nostrils, but you know what that means. 161 00:10:26,230 --> 00:10:30,030 It means you have lots of loogies. 162 00:10:32,330 --> 00:10:33,330 Okay, Viva. 163 00:10:35,150 --> 00:10:38,830 You'll be thinking about loogies, and I'll be slapping around my gigantic 164 00:10:38,830 --> 00:10:39,830 schlong. 11055