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1
00:00:26,740 --> 00:00:27,740
Dammit.
2
00:00:27,940 --> 00:00:29,780
There's gotta be a better way to get
chicks.
3
00:00:30,020 --> 00:00:31,320
Yeah. If I...
4
00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:34,220
I really thought this one was gonna work
this time. Yeah.
5
00:00:37,860 --> 00:00:42,060
Hey, Beavis. Let's check out the
bathroom. Sometimes they have good
6
00:00:42,060 --> 00:00:43,060
the walls.
7
00:00:44,540 --> 00:00:45,540
Whoa.
8
00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:50,120
Check it out.
9
00:00:56,620 --> 00:00:58,100
Spanish fly.
10
00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:03,910
Whoa. That's that stuff that makes
chicks horny. It makes chicks horny?
11
00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:06,750
Cool. Let's get some. Yeah.
12
00:01:07,170 --> 00:01:08,230
Uh, okay.
13
00:01:15,870 --> 00:01:19,330
Hey, Beavis. Now we can, like, have any
chick we want.
14
00:01:19,890 --> 00:01:20,890
Yeah, yeah.
15
00:01:20,910 --> 00:01:22,070
Yeah, we're gonna roll.
16
00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:24,090
We're gonna score.
17
00:01:30,060 --> 00:01:31,580
How come that guitar is in the hospital?
18
00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:33,878
I don't know.
19
00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:34,880
Okay.
20
00:01:34,980 --> 00:01:36,000
Okay, you don't have to say anything.
21
00:01:37,540 --> 00:01:41,560
Um, hey. I asked you a question, but,
um... But, you know, that's okay.
22
00:01:44,540 --> 00:01:49,980
This looks like that movie, uh... One
Flew in the Cuckoo's Nest.
23
00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:51,720
Oh, yeah, yeah.
24
00:01:51,740 --> 00:01:53,720
That's that movie with all those dudes
in taxi.
25
00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:55,360
Only they're retarded.
26
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:58,160
Uh...
27
00:01:58,780 --> 00:02:01,120
You know, I think you're not supposed to
call him retarded.
28
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:06,740
You're supposed to call him, uh, like,
mentally superior or something.
29
00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:08,199
Oh, yeah, yeah.
30
00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:11,960
Remember that big Indian dude in that
movie?
31
00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:13,460
Mm -hmm. He was cool.
32
00:02:14,060 --> 00:02:16,920
And then he couldn't talk unless he was
talking about gum?
33
00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:18,160
Yeah.
34
00:02:18,820 --> 00:02:22,380
Uh, you know, I think you're not
supposed to say Indian either.
35
00:02:22,860 --> 00:02:23,860
No way, really?
36
00:02:23,940 --> 00:02:27,200
Yeah. I think you're supposed to call
him African -American.
37
00:02:41,660 --> 00:02:47,240
This reminds me of that joke. It's like
the guy goes to the psychiatrist and he
38
00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:50,540
says, Doctor, my wife thinks she's a
chicken.
39
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:54,400
And the doctor says, Well, then why
don't you choke her?
40
00:02:58,950 --> 00:02:59,950
That's pretty funny.
41
00:03:00,250 --> 00:03:01,250
Ah, boy.
42
00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:06,310
Hey, Beavis.
43
00:03:07,210 --> 00:03:12,590
If you, like, abstract a chick, then I
can, like, stick it in her taco.
44
00:03:14,250 --> 00:03:17,130
No way, butthead. We have to, like, give
her the Spanish fly first.
45
00:03:17,630 --> 00:03:20,730
What the hell do you think I'm talking
about, butt plug?
46
00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:31,000
Uh, hey. Yeah, like, um, how's it going?
47
00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:35,580
Is there even one reason I should
acknowledge your presence?
48
00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:37,660
Um, well,
49
00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:41,180
um, what?
50
00:03:41,860 --> 00:03:44,700
Uh, you look pretty hungry.
51
00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:48,020
Actually, I suddenly lost my appetite.
52
00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:54,060
Uh, no you didn't. I mean, uh, you
shouldn't, like, waste food and stuff.
53
00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:59,160
Uh, because there's, like, starving
people in, uh, Indiana or something.
54
00:04:00,020 --> 00:04:02,980
Yeah, yeah. For pennies a day, we can
end the suffering.
55
00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:04,680
I'll catch you later.
56
00:04:12,580 --> 00:04:13,800
Uh, hmm.
57
00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:18,140
Uh, okay.
58
00:04:19,899 --> 00:04:20,940
Check this out.
59
00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:34,000
So, like, that milk looks pretty good.
60
00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:40,940
I bet it's, like, very refreshing and
stuff.
61
00:04:42,380 --> 00:04:43,900
Drink it! Drink it! Come on!
62
00:04:44,220 --> 00:04:46,460
What the hell are you talking about?
It's not even mine.
63
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:56,360
Uh -oh. Oh, no.
64
00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:58,100
Let's get out of here.
65
00:04:58,540 --> 00:04:59,540
Yeah.
66
00:05:00,220 --> 00:05:02,500
I think it's time for class or
something.
67
00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:05,660
Uh -oh.
68
00:05:09,940 --> 00:05:11,260
Check it out, butthead. That's him.
69
00:05:12,180 --> 00:05:13,180
Oh, no.
70
00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:14,700
He's getting naked.
71
00:05:14,980 --> 00:05:15,980
Yeah, yeah.
72
00:05:16,140 --> 00:05:18,160
That Spanish fly stuff must be working.
73
00:05:23,330 --> 00:05:25,290
What the hell is wrong with you?
74
00:05:25,550 --> 00:05:27,870
Uh, I'm like sick and stuff.
75
00:05:29,030 --> 00:05:30,970
Like, I wouldn't want you to get too
close.
76
00:05:31,190 --> 00:05:32,190
Yeah, me too.
77
00:05:35,670 --> 00:05:36,670
Ah,
78
00:05:38,510 --> 00:05:39,489
don't touch me!
79
00:05:39,490 --> 00:05:43,510
What did you say? Man, you guys are
really starting to piss me off.
80
00:05:45,350 --> 00:05:47,670
Whoa, he's really horny.
81
00:05:48,590 --> 00:05:49,770
Beavis and Butthead!
82
00:05:50,030 --> 00:05:52,290
Why in the hell aren't you undressed
yet?
83
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:57,420
Uh, because a man wants to have sex with
us? Shut up and get in the gym now!
84
00:05:57,980 --> 00:06:03,860
The sport of wrestling represents
competition in its purest form. Man
85
00:06:03,860 --> 00:06:04,860
man.
86
00:06:07,740 --> 00:06:12,320
Now, Tommy, since you're about the only
student in this class with a physique
87
00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:16,020
that doesn't make my colon clench, I
want you to choose an opponent.
88
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,080
I choose this little punk.
89
00:06:19,900 --> 00:06:20,900
Wait a minute.
90
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:23,760
No way. Damn it, Beavis. You have been
challenged.
91
00:06:23,980 --> 00:06:25,740
Now get down on all fours.
92
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:28,080
No. No.
93
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:38,060
What is this?
94
00:06:39,140 --> 00:06:40,760
I don't really care.
95
00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:48,280
Look at all these people just lying
around like a bunch of lazy slobs.
96
00:06:49,370 --> 00:06:51,990
Really, they need to get up and get a
job.
97
00:06:52,970 --> 00:06:54,370
Yeah. Damn it.
98
00:06:57,030 --> 00:07:01,430
Did you know that in California, any
chick will do it with you?
99
00:07:02,350 --> 00:07:03,350
Really?
100
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:06,230
You mean like all the girls are slut?
101
00:07:07,670 --> 00:07:08,670
Yep.
102
00:07:09,250 --> 00:07:10,430
Whoa, now that is cool.
103
00:07:11,170 --> 00:07:12,350
Yeah, yeah, let's go.
104
00:07:15,150 --> 00:07:17,190
You know another thing about California?
105
00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:20,520
It's like all the dudes there look like
Kato Kaelin.
106
00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:24,920
You know, I mean, he seems like a great
guy, you know?
107
00:07:25,580 --> 00:07:26,580
Yeah.
108
00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:31,620
That's how come, like, you know,
everyone just lets him live at their
109
00:07:31,620 --> 00:07:32,620
know, like O .J. Simpson.
110
00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:35,180
He goes, you know, you're a great guy.
111
00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:38,860
Why don't you come on over and stay a
while?
112
00:07:39,260 --> 00:07:44,320
Yeah, I'd let him crash here, you know,
because he seems like such a great guy.
113
00:07:45,140 --> 00:07:46,140
Yeah.
114
00:07:46,940 --> 00:07:48,340
What a great guy.
115
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:53,580
Except he kind of looks like the ass end
of a dolphin.
116
00:07:54,660 --> 00:07:56,960
Yeah, he does, sort of.
117
00:07:57,860 --> 00:07:58,900
But that's okay.
118
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,220
Because he's cool.
119
00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:06,560
Tommy,
120
00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:12,380
Mount Beavis, now!
121
00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:21,000
Help! He's got a boner! Ah! Get off me,
Spartan!
122
00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:22,240
Ah!
123
00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:27,380
Help! He's trying to do it with me! Ah!
Cut it out! Kick him in the nads,
124
00:08:27,420 --> 00:08:28,420
Beavis.
125
00:08:30,660 --> 00:08:31,660
Whoa.
126
00:08:32,659 --> 00:08:33,940
That was cool.
127
00:08:34,179 --> 00:08:35,520
Beavis! Get back here!
128
00:08:36,059 --> 00:08:37,059
Hurry up, butthead.
129
00:08:37,340 --> 00:08:39,600
Let's get out of here before he tries to
screw us all.
130
00:08:40,580 --> 00:08:42,120
That stuff really works.
131
00:08:55,980 --> 00:08:56,980
What is that?
132
00:08:57,960 --> 00:08:58,960
It's a hoe.
133
00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:02,440
Yeah, I know, but what's that thing
she's dragging behind her?
134
00:09:04,860 --> 00:09:07,540
Why is that funny?
135
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:08,880
Because, Beaver.
136
00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:12,920
You thought when I said a hoe that I was
talking about the chick, but I was
137
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:13,920
talking about the hoe.
138
00:09:15,340 --> 00:09:16,780
Okay, but why is that funny?
139
00:09:17,060 --> 00:09:18,060
Damn it, Beaver.
140
00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:22,580
Because, like, when a word means two
things like that, it's pretty funny.
141
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:24,920
I'll be damned.
142
00:09:25,630 --> 00:09:26,630
I didn't know that.
143
00:09:26,830 --> 00:09:28,730
You know, it's like choking your
chicken.
144
00:09:29,130 --> 00:09:32,890
Could be like, you know, if you had a
pet chicken and you were like choking
145
00:09:33,330 --> 00:09:35,730
Or it could mean, you know, like you're
choking your chicken.
146
00:09:36,670 --> 00:09:38,830
Now that's funny.
147
00:09:39,310 --> 00:09:40,310
Choking your chicken.
148
00:09:40,990 --> 00:09:41,990
That's pretty funny.
149
00:09:45,150 --> 00:09:46,410
I get that one.
150
00:09:47,110 --> 00:09:48,110
Okay, okay.
151
00:09:48,430 --> 00:09:49,430
I got one.
152
00:09:50,910 --> 00:09:51,910
Masturbating.
153
00:09:55,730 --> 00:09:58,570
That doesn't work, Beaver. It does.
154
00:09:58,930 --> 00:10:00,370
I do it all the time.
155
00:10:05,010 --> 00:10:11,990
Let's check
156
00:10:11,990 --> 00:10:13,470
out small nostrils.
157
00:10:14,130 --> 00:10:15,150
Yeah, well, I'm...
158
00:10:15,370 --> 00:10:17,850
I think anybody's nostrils would look
small to you, butthead.
159
00:10:18,130 --> 00:10:19,390
You look like a cow.
160
00:10:20,590 --> 00:10:24,830
Well, I may have big nostrils, but you
know what that means.
161
00:10:26,230 --> 00:10:30,030
It means you have lots of loogies.
162
00:10:32,330 --> 00:10:33,330
Okay, Viva.
163
00:10:35,150 --> 00:10:38,830
You'll be thinking about loogies, and
I'll be slapping around my gigantic
164
00:10:38,830 --> 00:10:39,830
schlong.
165
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:44,430
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