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Remember, sexual harassment can be
defined as any sexual interaction, be it
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verbal or physical, that makes its
victims uncomfortable or makes it
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for them to work.
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Now, I don't want to mention any names,
but it seems that some of you could use
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a little sensitivity training on this
issue, okay?
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Does everyone understand what I'm trying
to say here?
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Beavis? Butthead? Uh, sort of. Because,
like, right now...
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I'm being, you know, sexually harassed
by Kimberly.
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What? Yeah, me too.
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She's giving me a stiffy. Yeah, and it
makes it, like, uncomfortable for me to
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work and stuff.
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She usually harasses me at least once a
day.
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Four or five times a day for me, sir.
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Mr. Van Driessen, do I have to sit near
these guys?
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Oh, yeah, yeah. Love frightens, baby.
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Mr. Van Driessen, make them stop.
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Guys, that's just the kind of thing I'm
talking about.
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See, right now, you two are harassing
Kimberly.
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No way.
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Sex can't get stiffies.
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Come on, guys. This is serious.
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In the real world, people go to court
and sue for millions of dollars over
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kind of harassment.
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Whoa. Yeah, yeah.
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Millions of dollars?
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That's gonna be cool.
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Hey,
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that's that kid from that Losing My
Religion video.
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Yeah, but I thought he got shot with an
arrow or something.
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Yeah. To be there
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in velvet.
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Yeah, to give them a smile.
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It's good to get high.
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It's good to get high?
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What kind of message is that, son?
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Hey, buddy, did you see that guy? He
had, like, mirrors all over himself.
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Yeah.
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That would be cool if you had mirrors
all over your clothes like that. Because
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then, like, you could use them to see
your own taint.
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That would be cool.
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I don't want to see my taint. That's
stupid.
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You see, I'm always thinking.
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Whoa,
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check it out. Butt -headed Velvet Jones.
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Oh, yeah.
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He's cool.
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Hi, I'm Veva Jones.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Hi, I'm Veva Jones.
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This is my book, How to Be a Ho.
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It's about time they put him in a video.
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He put it. How come Tom Petty is famous?
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Because he's on TV, dumbass.
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Yeah, but how did he get on TV?
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Because he's famous.
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Oh, man.
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Yeah, but, I mean, like, how did he get
famous?
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He got famous because he's on TV.
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Yeah, yeah, but how did he get on TV?
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Because he's famous, Beavis. Now shut up
before I smack the bejesus out of you.
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Oh, yeah.
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And what would be the basis of this
sexual harassment suit?
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Uh, she keeps harassing us by, you know,
giving us stiffies. Yeah, yeah, like on
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me. Like, just yesterday, when she was
writing something, I could, like, lean
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over and, like, I could check out part
of her boobs. I see.
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Uh, tell me, is the young lady in
question, uh, well off financially by
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Uh, I don't know. She never talks to us
because, like, she's one of those rich
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chicks. Yeah.
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Gentlemen. This is exactly the type of
reverse sexual harassment case in which
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the Constitution of the United States of
America is being thrown right out the
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window. Cool. Yeah, throw it out the
window.
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Boys, we are going to sue the girl.
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We are going to sue the teacher, we are
going to sue the school system, and we
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are going to sue the girl's parents.
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Whoa, that rules.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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And furthermore, we are going to put a
restraining order on that girl, making
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illegal for her to come within 100 feet
of you boys.
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Uh, that would suck.
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Yeah, I need her to be a little closer
than that.
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So, uh, we're not going to have to,
like, go to court, are we?
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Gentlemen.
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I believe we can win this case without
even going to court.
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Order. Order.
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Counselor Adler, you may begin your
opening statement.
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Your Honor, I will prove beyond a shadow
of a doubt that my clients are the
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victims of a cruel campaign of sexual
harassment.
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Imagine yourself, a student in school,
losing your one chance at a decent
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education because some young woman of
questionable morals, some vile
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repeatedly arouses you to the point
where you... I didn't do it! I didn't do
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Of course you didn't. It's obvious that
the guilty party here is that young lady
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right over there. Objection!
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Overruled! Disdained. Watch it,
counselor.
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Now, I know this is difficult, but tell
me, if you can, about the pain that
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Kimberly has caused you.
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Uh, well, it's like, you know, she's a
chick.
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And how would you describe this chick?
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A hot chick.
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Yes? Well, she's always like...
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harassing us by being so hot every day?
Oh, yeah. And it's hard to concentrate
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and stuff?
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Hard.
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She's doing it again.
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She's doing it right now. What is she
doing?
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She's giving me a stiffy. Giving you a
what?
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You know.
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He has an erection.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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It's all her fault.
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Order.
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Order.
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Shut up.
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You. You and you, in my chambers, now.
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Whoa, they're cracking concrete.
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You said crack.
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Well,
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I guess I'll just do this for a while.
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Whoa! They're rolling around in a pool
of feces!
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Oh, yeah. Cool.
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I think this video is like a tribute to
turds.
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Yeah, it's about time.
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I've been meaning to do a tribute to my
own turds.
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It's called...
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Poop, a retrospective.
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You know who I'd like to see roll around
in a bunch of feces?
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Hootie and the Blowfish.
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Oh, yeah.
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Yeah, that would be cool.
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With a little love and a little
tenderness.
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Yeah.
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That would rule.
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And I think it would really go with the
music really well, too.
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Your Honor, my client's constitutional
rights are being trampled by this closed
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-door session. If we aren't returned to
the courtroom immediately, we are going
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to sue you.
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We are going to sue the state. Mr.
Adler, have you ever been jailed for
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00:08:03,620 --> 00:08:04,620
of court?
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00:08:04,740 --> 00:08:08,130
Uh... I believe that was among the
charges, yes.
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00:08:08,390 --> 00:08:12,110
Well, that was a picnic compared to
what'll happen to you if you don't shut
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right now.
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As for you two, in all my years on the
bench, I have never seen such a cynical,
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manipulative, and ultimately pathetic
attempt to subvert the judicial system.
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Two sexist ignoramuses such as
yourselves have no business tying up...
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a minute.
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Now you're harassing us.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Beaver cool.
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00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:47,760
Yeah.
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Oh,
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check it out. It's Jon Stewart.
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00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,400
Yeah.
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00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:57,300
He's horny.
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00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:02,800
He's the horniest talk show dude on TV.
Yeah, but I'm like...
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00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:06,320
He shouldn't try to be in a band like
this. Yeah, I mean, you know, it's okay,
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00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:08,800
but, you know, it's like, you know,
nothing special, you know. Like, he
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00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:11,040
just do his show, you know. Yeah, but
you know what he should do?
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He should just, like, get rid of all
that other stuff on his show and just
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the whole show be like, you know, him
trying to pick up on a chick.
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Yeah, yeah, it's like they bring out a
girl with big hooters.
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Maybe like this one right here.
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And then, um, he just sits there and
tries to score. Now, that would be cool.
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00:09:28,830 --> 00:09:29,830
Yeah.
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That would rule.
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Damn it. I wish they'd show those bees
again.
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Bees kick ass.
166
00:09:39,650 --> 00:09:40,650
Yeah.
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00:09:42,170 --> 00:09:43,170
Bees rule.
168
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Yeah, I'd like to see a little more fat,
too. Yeah.
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That's the best part, you know. It's
like whenever I'm eating some meat, I
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00:09:53,730 --> 00:09:55,780
like... Eat all the fat and just leave
the rest.
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Yeah.
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I like to make a fat sandwich sometimes.
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00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,520
Oh, yeah, a little mayonnaise, a little
salt.
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Roll.
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Cool.
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00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:13,920
Look what she's doing.
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00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:17,620
I do that sometimes, too. It, like,
helps me fall asleep.
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00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:21,540
You mean because it, like, tires you out
or something?
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00:10:21,900 --> 00:10:23,580
No, not really, no. It's like...
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I just spin around until I get really
dizzy.
181
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Then I like to fall down and bang my
head on something.
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I just go to sleep.
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Works every time.
184
00:10:32,710 --> 00:10:34,690
You're pretty cool sometimes, Beavis.
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I know.
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00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:42,390
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