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Now we turn to a very special Baywatch.
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Oh, no!
3
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Mitch is drowning!
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But all I have on is... this white t
-shirt.
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We interrupt this program with a special
news bulletin. Dammit, Beavis, that's
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00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:32,290
the last time I let you touch the
remote. Give me that. No way, I didn't
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it. Domestic violence reared its ugly
head today in the town.
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Dammit, Beavis, give me the remote.
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No way.
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A shocking murder has taken place.
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We now cut live to the scene. Mike?
Thanks, Don.
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That's right, I am live, but I'm also
about the only thing live here.
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00:00:50,730 --> 00:00:54,090
A man has allegedly killed his brother,
right here.
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00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:55,800
and this apartment behind me.
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Apparently, the older of the two
brothers had a history of abusing his
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sibling, and authorities are speculating
that the younger brother finally
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resorted to murder to put an end to his
years of torment.
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Police are asking this normally quiet
community for their cooperation, asking
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citizens to stay away from the grisly
scene and avoid the urge to come and see
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things for themselves.
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Hey, Beavis, I know where that is.
Really?
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We should go check it out.
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Yeah.
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That's a good idea.
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Thank you very much.
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Uh,
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violence? All right, yeah, yeah. I like
when they tell you beforehand that
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there's going to be some violence.
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So you can make sure you don't, like, go
to the bathroom or anything? Yeah.
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Check it out.
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Hole. Oh, yeah, yeah.
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Who are these guys, buddy?
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Uh, this is Hole, Beavis. What did you
think I was talking about?
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Oh, I thought you were talking about her
bunghole.
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You dumbass.
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00:02:07,969 --> 00:02:12,570
So, like, the sign at the beginning of
the video said violence, and the band's
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name is Hole, and we aren't seeing any
violence or any hole.
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Yeah, really, that sucks.
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Yeah. They need to, like, show a big
violent butthole. I'll show you my
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if you want.
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Ow!
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You know, I heard this whole chick is a
slut.
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Really? Yeah, I think it'd be cool if we
got together, you know? We could, like,
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spaz out and stuff, and then we could,
like, do it.
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Viva, the only way you could score with
a chick is if she was, like, the biggest
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slut in the world.
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Yeah. Yeah.
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Yeah.
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00:02:54,730 --> 00:02:58,070
You know who Hole looks like in this
video?
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She looks like that Tori Spelling chick.
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Yeah, but Hole looks a lot hotter than
Tori Spelling.
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00:03:04,460 --> 00:03:06,540
What kind of a name is Hole, anyway?
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00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:10,640
Yeah, I mean, if you're going to name
your daughter Hole, at least name her,
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like, Bunghole or something.
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00:03:12,420 --> 00:03:16,140
It could be like, you know, that joke
where the father names her after the
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thing he sees when she's born.
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Yeah, but then why would he, um... Oh,
yeah.
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Hey, Butt -head, where are we going
again?
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Beavis, do I have to smack you upside
the head and beat some sense into you?
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We're going to check out that place
where that guy killed his brother,
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Oh, yeah.
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It was your idea in the first place,
Butt -knocker. Hey, don't call me Butt
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-knocker, Butt -head. I'm serious.
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So, uh, I wonder why that dude killed
his brother.
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Yeah, he must have been really pissed.
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00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,500
That's no excuse, Beavis.
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I bet his brother probably, like, stole
his woman or his nachos or something.
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Yep, probably.
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Maybe he killed him with his butt.
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Yeah. Or maybe he killed him with a
turd.
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That's really stupid, Beavis.
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Butt knocker. Dammit, butthead, stop
calling me butt knocker!
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Here it is, dude.
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Looks just like it did on TV.
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Yeah.
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This is stupid.
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What the hell is this doing here? This
isn't going to keep anybody out.
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It isn't?
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Oh, yeah.
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Turn on the light, butt -knocker. I
can't see anything.
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Stop calling me butt -knocker. Beavis,
you butt -munch. Turn on the light
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I kick your ass.
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Okay, that's better.
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This is cool.
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So, uh, where do you think he killed
him?
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Hmm, let's see.
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It looks like he fell.
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I'd have to say he died right about
here.
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Oh, yeah.
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Whoa, hey, check out this thing.
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I bet he hit him with this.
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Don't be stupid, Beavis.
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That's for, like, changing tires and
stuff.
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Whoa, hey, I got the remote. Let's see
what's on TV.
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Beavis, I told you I wasn't going to let
you touch the remote anymore.
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Now give me that, butt -knocker. No way,
and stop calling me butt -knocker. Give
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it here before I kick your butt
-knockering ass. Stop calling me that,
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-head. Stop it.
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Butt -knocker.
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Shut up, butt -head. Shut up.
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I'm gonna kill you, but I swear to God,
I'm gonna kill you.
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00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:06,860
You and what other butt -knocker? Shut
up, butt -knocker. Butt -knocker. Shut
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00:06:06,860 --> 00:06:09,700
up. Butt -knocker. I'm gonna kill you,
but I'll kill you.
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Check it out. That looks like that
jungle ride.
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Oh, yeah.
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That's so stupid.
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Oh, yeah. You get in there, and there's
that guy with that, like, safari hat on
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and stuff.
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Yeah. When I used to go on that thing, I
used to just, like, jump off the boat
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and just, like, wade around the water,
and then, like, go off in the bushes and
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just sit there by myself.
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Yeah.
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And then I'd stand up and pull down my
pants and go, boop -a -boo!
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You know what another cool ride to jump
off of is?
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Is the haunted house.
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I used to, like, go in there, and then
I'd, like, jump off the car, and then
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go over by the witches, and wait till
the next car comes, and I'd put a broom
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my butt, and go... Beavis, witches don't
put brooms up their butt. They put them
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between their legs.
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Really? I wish someone had told me that
before I ruptured my sphincter.
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I have a splinter in my bunghole the
size of a pencil.
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Uh, you're just joking, right, Beavis?
123
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Um, hey. No.
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Hey,
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how's it going?
126
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You know, your friend Beavis'
fingerprints are all over everything.
127
00:07:58,910 --> 00:08:00,550
And it's making things kind of hard on
us.
128
00:08:00,970 --> 00:08:04,470
With your help, we can book this kid,
Beavis, and keep the press off our
129
00:08:05,790 --> 00:08:06,790
Yeah, really.
130
00:08:06,830 --> 00:08:08,250
I know where you're coming from, man.
131
00:08:08,490 --> 00:08:09,490
Yeah.
132
00:08:09,610 --> 00:08:12,530
It's like... It's like sometimes Butt
-Head just like... It's like he keeps
133
00:08:12,530 --> 00:08:15,710
calling me Butt -Knocker. And he won't
stop. And he pisses me off. And I tell
134
00:08:15,710 --> 00:08:18,730
him to stop, and he won't stop. He just
keeps calling me Butt -Knocker. And then
135
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he won't give me the remote.
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And... Okay.
137
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Follow me, girls.
138
00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:26,090
So you're sure that's him?
139
00:08:26,550 --> 00:08:27,550
Yes, officer.
140
00:08:27,790 --> 00:08:29,870
That's the butt -knocker, right in the
middle.
141
00:08:30,850 --> 00:08:34,330
You know, he threatened to kill you.
That's pretty serious stuff.
142
00:08:34,610 --> 00:08:36,010
Would you be willing to press charges?
143
00:08:36,909 --> 00:08:37,909
Press what?
144
00:08:39,070 --> 00:08:42,190
Charges, you know. You fill out a form
that explains everything that happened.
145
00:08:42,809 --> 00:08:45,750
I don't want to fill out forms and
stuff.
146
00:08:46,090 --> 00:08:46,969
Are you sure?
147
00:08:46,970 --> 00:08:49,970
Because if you don't, we'll have to let
him go without any kind of punishment.
148
00:08:51,310 --> 00:08:52,310
That's okay, dude.
149
00:08:52,550 --> 00:08:54,270
I'll just kick his ass later.
150
00:08:55,010 --> 00:08:56,010
All right.
151
00:08:56,060 --> 00:08:57,300
Let him go.
152
00:09:01,460 --> 00:09:02,560
What, knocker?
153
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:08,520
Whoa, look at that shoe.
154
00:09:13,340 --> 00:09:14,460
Look, high heel.
155
00:09:15,020 --> 00:09:16,020
Yeah.
156
00:09:16,780 --> 00:09:18,600
That must mean there's a chick.
157
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:22,180
Yeah. Orton Rudgren.
158
00:09:23,260 --> 00:09:24,260
Who?
159
00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:27,100
Um, hey, Todd Rundgren?
160
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:31,260
Who the hell is he, Beaver? You don't
know who Todd Rundgren is?
161
00:09:32,460 --> 00:09:33,640
Uh, no.
162
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:35,300
And you don't either.
163
00:09:37,380 --> 00:09:38,380
Uh,
164
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:45,920
he's drinking.
165
00:09:47,700 --> 00:09:51,560
I can hardly wait till I get older and,
like, get a job and stuff so I can
166
00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:52,560
drink. Yeah.
167
00:09:53,540 --> 00:09:55,920
I plan on doing some... Smoking, too.
168
00:09:57,820 --> 00:09:58,820
Hey,
169
00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,760
that's that street where Madonna wanted
to have her baby.
170
00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:03,720
So what?
171
00:10:04,380 --> 00:10:06,640
Well, then you think of something to
say, bunghole.
172
00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:08,340
At least I'm trying.
173
00:10:09,300 --> 00:10:10,800
Okay, I will think of something to say.
174
00:10:12,300 --> 00:10:13,420
Shlong. Poop.
175
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,160
Anything better than that.
176
00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:19,660
Whoa. Check it out. She must have been
drinking milk.
177
00:10:20,140 --> 00:10:21,140
Yeah.
178
00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:24,960
And her boobs got bigger, too.
179
00:10:25,620 --> 00:10:26,620
Well,
180
00:10:27,220 --> 00:10:29,280
hey, that just gave me an idea. You know
what would be cool? If they could,
181
00:10:29,340 --> 00:10:33,040
like, make me big, and then they could
shrink me again but keep my wiener the
182
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:33,979
same size.
183
00:10:33,980 --> 00:10:34,980
That would rule.
184
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,560
Hey, because then they'd have this
gigantic schlong.
185
00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:39,220
You know what I'm saying?
186
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:43,440
Yeah, but, like, if they could really do
that, then you could just have them
187
00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:44,880
just make your wiener bigger.
188
00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:49,180
No, no, no, but I'm saying they'd make
me bigger because then my wiener would
189
00:10:49,180 --> 00:10:52,260
get bigger, but then they'd shrink me
and keep my wiener the same size.
190
00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:55,980
Damn it, Siva. What are you talking
about? Who are they?
191
00:10:56,420 --> 00:10:58,800
And who cares anyway? Just shut up.
192
00:10:59,540 --> 00:11:02,260
Well, I thought it was a pretty good
idea.
193
00:11:02,310 --> 00:11:06,860
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