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Have you suffered a painful and
disabling injury that was not your
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00:00:21,340 --> 00:00:24,200
you about to be injured? Would you like
to be injured? Have you ever considered
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a possible injury? You could have been
injured and not even know about it.
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Howdy. I'm Attorney -at -Law Joe Adler.
I specialize in Class A whiplash -style
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injuries. Our pledge to you is, if you
need cash, dial 555 -WHIPLASH.
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Whoa.
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Money just for getting hurt?
8
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That's cool.
9
00:00:53,540 --> 00:00:54,540
Yeah.
10
00:00:54,860 --> 00:00:56,740
Uh, Beavis?
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You're about to be injured.
12
00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:12,420
Ah, yeah. I like to mellow out to this
song.
13
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Yeah.
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Let's get a little mellow.
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00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:22,660
Sometimes if I have a boner that won't
go down, I listen to this kind of music.
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Hey, that looks like that dude.
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He was on TV and then they made a
cartoon out of him.
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Oh, yeah, yeah.
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He's got that shirt and then his hair is
like all in a point on the top of his
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head. Yeah, yeah, what's his name?
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00:01:48,310 --> 00:01:50,190
Yeah, what is his name?
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Oh, damn it.
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00:01:52,810 --> 00:01:54,130
One second, he's on me.
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Yeah, he's like always going, I must
say.
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Uh, yeah, and then he's like always
saying he's going to be on Wheel of
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and he's like all into Pat Sajak.
27
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Uh, Wiggly, Megley.
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No, no, damn it.
29
00:02:10,759 --> 00:02:12,020
What's his name? Damn it.
30
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This guy looks just like him.
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Damn it.
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Forgetting everything.
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I can't remember anything anymore.
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Hey, but it, um, try smacking me. Just
once.
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Uh. Sure.
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00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:29,720
Ow!
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Ed Grimley!
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00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:36,800
Uh... Oh, yeah, that's the dude.
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00:02:37,580 --> 00:02:39,720
I ought to hit you more often, Beaver.
40
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You hit me?
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Yeah.
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Buttonhole!
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Don't ever hit me again!
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This is cool.
45
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I hardly ever take the bus to school.
46
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You hardly ever go to school, dill hole.
47
00:02:59,860 --> 00:03:00,860
Oh, yeah, yeah.
48
00:03:01,020 --> 00:03:02,020
Yeah, I think you're right.
49
00:03:03,380 --> 00:03:07,180
It's like, if we had a car, we wouldn't
have to take the bus, but it's like,
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00:03:07,180 --> 00:03:11,560
you're taking the bus so that we can,
like, have an accident with a car and,
51
00:03:11,580 --> 00:03:18,300
like, wait a minute, so we can have some
money, uh, so, uh, uh... Uh, what?
52
00:03:18,860 --> 00:03:19,940
Come on, butthead, come on.
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Uh, I forgot.
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00:03:25,740 --> 00:03:28,640
Now remember, B, just sit there and
don't do anything.
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I'll take care of the rest.
56
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Okay.
57
00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:39,820
This is going to be cool.
58
00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:46,040
Hey, how we doing?
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Oh, um, hey, do you ever like to take
the bus to school?
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What do you think I'm doing right now?
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Oh, yeah.
62
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I get it.
63
00:03:55,670 --> 00:03:56,670
Yeah, me too.
64
00:03:56,750 --> 00:03:57,750
Yeah, cool.
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We're going to be red.
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00:04:10,290 --> 00:04:12,150
Can I borrow a pencil?
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Do you even know how to write?
68
00:04:15,270 --> 00:04:18,250
Look, if I give this to you, will you
leave me alone?
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00:04:30,950 --> 00:04:37,470
damn bus hey
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y 'all settle down back there
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00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:12,160
He has, like, that whipped lash thing,
and, like, it really hurts.
72
00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:17,040
Yeah, and I'm having bad dreams, and I
poop a lot.
73
00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:23,480
Interesting story.
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00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:26,060
Let me just take a look here.
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00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:29,080
Well,
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I can see that you have a traumatic
injury, son.
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00:05:34,970 --> 00:05:38,870
But it sure doesn't look like whiplash
to me. It is whiplash. Come on, tell
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00:05:38,890 --> 00:05:43,150
butthead. I was like, ah, my leg. I
mean, ah, my neck.
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00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:45,070
I heard something break, too.
80
00:05:45,550 --> 00:05:46,650
Just like on that commercial.
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00:05:47,010 --> 00:05:50,990
What we have here is a clear case of
negligence.
82
00:05:51,370 --> 00:05:53,810
We are going to sue the school system.
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00:05:54,190 --> 00:05:55,930
We are going to sue the city.
84
00:05:56,530 --> 00:05:58,350
We are going to sue the state.
85
00:05:58,690 --> 00:06:00,670
And we are going to sue the bus driver.
86
00:06:01,450 --> 00:06:03,690
Now, what you boys need.
87
00:06:04,110 --> 00:06:06,210
are some top quality x -rays.
88
00:06:07,090 --> 00:06:08,090
Cool.
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00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:12,490
Here you go, son.
90
00:06:14,710 --> 00:06:20,930
Now it's starting to look like we got
ourselves a case of whiplash.
91
00:06:21,190 --> 00:06:23,770
So, uh, can we have some money now?
92
00:06:25,070 --> 00:06:29,970
Joe Adler, you're under arrest for 257
counts of fraud.
93
00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:31,690
Cool. Yeah.
94
00:06:41,550 --> 00:06:42,550
Whoa,
95
00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:47,270
I think this is my grandpa.
96
00:06:48,590 --> 00:06:50,650
No, this is that dude that was in that
movie.
97
00:06:52,350 --> 00:06:55,610
He married his cousin, and then they did
it.
98
00:06:56,970 --> 00:06:57,970
Oh, yeah, yeah.
99
00:06:58,230 --> 00:07:00,790
I think that movie was called Great
Balls of...
100
00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:08,080
fire did you know when you get it
101
00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:14,820
on with your cousin it means she's your
cousin uh like once removed well really
102
00:07:14,820 --> 00:07:19,600
you know my grandpa told me once that
like because he did it with his cousin
103
00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:26,280
that means that my grandma is my cousin
and my mom is my great aunt
104
00:07:28,770 --> 00:07:30,490
Yeah, and she's also a great slut.
105
00:07:33,470 --> 00:07:34,470
Oh, yeah, and also,
106
00:07:35,570 --> 00:07:38,790
I think my grandma is a nitwit.
107
00:07:45,110 --> 00:07:47,830
It's like, I didn't know you could,
like, rock on the piano.
108
00:07:48,650 --> 00:07:53,270
Yeah. Like, all you need to do is, like,
you know, kick the piano and do it with
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00:07:53,270 --> 00:07:55,310
your cousin, and you'll be cool forever.
110
00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:01,980
Or maybe you could, like, do it with the
piano and kick your cousin.
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00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:04,040
Viva?
112
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:12,820
Now tell me, boys, how did you get mixed
up
113
00:08:12,820 --> 00:08:13,820
with this con man?
114
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:18,240
Uh, he was gonna give us some money.
Don't mess with me, boy. I could send
115
00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:20,060
away right now for obstruction of
justice.
116
00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:21,440
Uh, okay.
117
00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:23,400
And what about you, Mary?
118
00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:25,440
My name is Beavis, sir.
119
00:08:25,820 --> 00:08:30,240
Well, you see, it's like this. I was on
this bus, and this girl was checking me
120
00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:33,620
out, you know, looking at my nads. And
the bus driver was, like, drunk or
121
00:08:33,620 --> 00:08:35,780
something. You lying little punk.
122
00:08:36,100 --> 00:08:39,220
You're lucky that girl wasn't hurt.
She's ready to testify.
123
00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:42,080
I think you two planned that bus
accident.
124
00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:46,560
Does this mean we aren't going to get
the money? Shut up! Did Miss Radler tell
125
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:47,560
you to stop that bus?
126
00:08:47,780 --> 00:08:48,780
Uh, no.
127
00:08:48,860 --> 00:08:50,080
We thought of it ourselves.
128
00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:51,660
Hey, hey, shut up!
129
00:08:52,130 --> 00:08:56,190
Dammit, I'm talking to you, not you. I'm
talking to this guy right here. Look me
130
00:08:56,190 --> 00:08:57,810
in the eye, boy, and tell me the truth.
131
00:08:58,030 --> 00:09:01,450
Yeah, um, I didn't really know what was
going on. It was like, buddy just told
132
00:09:01,450 --> 00:09:03,410
me to sit there and he said he'd take
care of the rest.
133
00:09:03,970 --> 00:09:05,490
Dammit, Beavis, tell the truth.
134
00:09:05,810 --> 00:09:08,450
I am telling the truth. You did know
what was going on, didn't you?
135
00:09:08,750 --> 00:09:13,210
No, I didn't. Just admit it. I bet you
don't even have whiplash, do you?
136
00:09:13,930 --> 00:09:14,930
On my neck.
137
00:09:16,970 --> 00:09:18,090
Whiplash is cool.
138
00:09:21,900 --> 00:09:22,900
Whoa!
139
00:09:23,140 --> 00:09:24,620
This looks like it might rock.
140
00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:26,320
Yeah, maybe.
141
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:28,280
Yeah.
142
00:09:28,380 --> 00:09:32,340
I mean, I don't know. Maybe it's all
right, you know. I guess it sounds kind
143
00:09:32,340 --> 00:09:33,340
cool.
144
00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:36,520
You know what might make it different?
145
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:40,420
It's like, you know, if you were really
dizzy when you're watching it.
146
00:09:41,300 --> 00:09:43,980
Yeah, yeah. If you're all, like, dizzy
in the head and you're watching this.
147
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:45,600
Yeah.
148
00:09:46,940 --> 00:09:48,180
Want me to strike you?
149
00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:51,360
No, I know how to make myself dizzy.
Check it out.
150
00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:53,080
I learned that one time. Check this out.
151
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:06,100
I think there's a problem with this
video. It is highly derivative of many
152
00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:07,660
popular bands within the genre.
153
00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:10,580
Although when viewed on its own merits,
it does have a decent groove.
154
00:10:10,820 --> 00:10:14,760
However, what it has in groove, it lacks
in originality. One can't help but be
155
00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:18,260
reminded of such bands as Pearl Jam,
White Zombie, Suicidal Tennessee, and
156
00:10:18,260 --> 00:10:21,840
bands that bear the mantle of so -called
alternative rock. One is even reminded
157
00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:23,300
of Laurie Anderson when she wore a
curler.
158
00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:28,220
This video speaks less to the heart and
more to the sphincter. In clothing, I
159
00:10:28,220 --> 00:10:30,340
think Korn would do well to learn more
from...
160
00:10:35,859 --> 00:10:36,859
What happened?
161
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:40,360
You got all dizzy and then you started
talking like a dumbass.
162
00:10:41,060 --> 00:10:42,060
Oh, really?
163
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:43,960
Wow.
164
00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:45,700
Yeah.
165
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:48,200
But then you did say sphincter.
166
00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:49,840
Oh, yeah.
167
00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:52,200
It's pronounced sphincter.
168
00:10:52,250 --> 00:10:56,800
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