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1
00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:19,560
My name is Mr. Candy.
2
00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:22,600
My, what a nice looking group of
students.
3
00:00:23,140 --> 00:00:26,020
Who can tell me what I'm holding in my
hand?
4
00:00:26,740 --> 00:00:28,940
Uh, your nads?
5
00:00:30,610 --> 00:00:31,610
No,
6
00:00:32,850 --> 00:00:33,850
my right hand.
7
00:00:34,490 --> 00:00:35,670
Is it a candy bar?
8
00:00:36,030 --> 00:00:37,730
It's more than just a candy bar.
9
00:00:38,030 --> 00:00:39,490
It's the future of your school.
10
00:00:40,190 --> 00:00:42,250
Now, who'd like a candy bar?
11
00:00:43,630 --> 00:00:46,410
Who would like a hundred candy bars?
12
00:00:48,070 --> 00:00:52,370
Because I've got them here with me
today, and I plan on giving them all
13
00:00:52,730 --> 00:00:56,030
But there's a candy bar. I'm not giving
them to you to eat.
14
00:00:57,150 --> 00:00:58,990
I'm giving them to you to sell.
15
00:00:59,870 --> 00:01:04,510
Selling candy is a fun way to help
yourself and the school.
16
00:01:04,890 --> 00:01:05,890
All right, losers.
17
00:01:06,190 --> 00:01:10,930
Remember, you are competing against
other classes, and I'll be damned if my
18
00:01:10,930 --> 00:01:12,050
class is going to lose.
19
00:01:12,710 --> 00:01:14,810
Hey, yo, homie. How much you give me for
this?
20
00:01:15,190 --> 00:01:16,190
This right here?
21
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This ain't worth nothing, man, but I
will give you one on the radio.
22
00:01:20,730 --> 00:01:25,470
How come Coolio has to sell stuff to me?
I thought he was like a big, rich rap
23
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star. Yeah.
24
00:01:27,710 --> 00:01:30,830
It's like all these rap dudes always get
ripped off by the man.
25
00:01:31,130 --> 00:01:32,330
Really? That sucks.
26
00:01:32,790 --> 00:01:35,990
They gotta find the man, you know, like
find out where he lives. You don't have
27
00:01:35,990 --> 00:01:37,770
to go beat the crap out of him. Yeah,
really.
28
00:01:38,330 --> 00:01:39,330
Whoa,
29
00:01:39,630 --> 00:01:40,630
check it out. Yeah.
30
00:01:41,610 --> 00:01:42,850
Young Coolio.
31
00:01:44,590 --> 00:01:46,930
Coolio. I am Coolio.
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Coolio rule.
33
00:01:56,510 --> 00:01:59,270
This kind of reminds me of that Stanford
and Son show.
34
00:01:59,650 --> 00:02:00,650
Oh, yeah, yeah.
35
00:02:01,010 --> 00:02:02,110
I remember that show.
36
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:03,910
That's just how fun it is.
37
00:02:05,090 --> 00:02:07,410
Come on. Come on. I'm going to have a
heart attack.
38
00:02:07,670 --> 00:02:08,670
This is the big one.
39
00:02:08,930 --> 00:02:10,169
Weezy, I'm coming to see you.
40
00:02:11,210 --> 00:02:12,210
Yeah.
41
00:02:12,950 --> 00:02:14,150
He was cool.
42
00:02:14,830 --> 00:02:17,810
I like that show because there was,
like, lots of garbage everywhere.
43
00:02:18,190 --> 00:02:19,190
Yeah.
44
00:02:21,170 --> 00:02:25,490
That was a black dude. It's like...
45
00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:29,150
I'd grow my hair into, like, a really
big afro, like, three feet tall and
46
00:02:29,290 --> 00:02:32,310
and then I'd cut out a big hole in the
middle, like, just to keep stuff, you
47
00:02:32,310 --> 00:02:33,009
know? Yeah.
48
00:02:33,010 --> 00:02:36,410
You know, I could put, like, some nachos
in there, you know, my keys, you know,
49
00:02:36,410 --> 00:02:37,168
stuff like that.
50
00:02:37,170 --> 00:02:38,170
That would be cool.
51
00:02:39,470 --> 00:02:43,330
You ought to just, like, keep all that
stuff in your butthole, Beavis.
52
00:02:44,250 --> 00:02:45,250
Oh, yeah.
53
00:02:51,170 --> 00:02:55,130
Now, our candy bars are personalized
with your school's name on the wrapper,
54
00:02:55,130 --> 00:02:56,990
they're a real bargain at only $2 each.
55
00:02:57,590 --> 00:02:59,650
Heck, they practically sell themselves.
56
00:03:00,410 --> 00:03:06,470
Now, what if I told you that the richest
man in the world... Well,
57
00:03:11,630 --> 00:03:14,090
you two seem to be real know -it -alls.
58
00:03:14,590 --> 00:03:18,190
Why don't you tell us what you're going
to say when a customer says no?
59
00:03:19,980 --> 00:03:26,020
I'd say... Well,
60
00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:33,300
I wish you luck, but it seems we're out
of time.
61
00:03:36,060 --> 00:03:40,380
Yeah? Uh, are schools making us sell
candy?
62
00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:42,200
Yeah. We're losers.
63
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,860
What in the hell kind of sales approach
is that?
64
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,860
You boys couldn't sell a dollar for 50
cents.
65
00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:53,720
Uh, they're two dollars, sir. Yeah,
don't try to rip them off. Butt wipe.
66
00:03:56,340 --> 00:03:57,340
Hmm.
67
00:03:58,020 --> 00:03:59,920
Well, I've only got two dollars.
68
00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:01,198
Buy one from me.
69
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:04,940
No way, buy one from me. Cut it out. Get
out of the way. I'll, like, sell mine
70
00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:06,000
for half price, sir.
71
00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:07,760
Yeah, yeah, me too.
72
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,000
Half price?
73
00:04:09,260 --> 00:04:10,420
Well, now you're talking.
74
00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:13,320
Here, why don't I take one from each of
you?
75
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:17,980
You boys better start charging full
price. I'm sure your school can't afford
76
00:04:17,980 --> 00:04:18,980
lose money.
77
00:04:23,950 --> 00:04:25,130
Selling stuff sucks.
78
00:04:25,970 --> 00:04:26,970
Yeah.
79
00:04:27,990 --> 00:04:28,990
Hey, Beavis.
80
00:04:29,150 --> 00:04:31,010
I'll buy one of your candy bars for a
dollar.
81
00:04:31,290 --> 00:04:32,290
No way.
82
00:04:32,490 --> 00:04:33,490
They're two dollars.
83
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:34,690
Uh,
84
00:04:35,270 --> 00:04:37,790
then can you, like, loan me a dollar?
85
00:04:38,010 --> 00:04:41,150
No way, because then you'll have, like,
two dollars and I, like, won't have any.
86
00:04:42,030 --> 00:04:44,110
Come on, Beavis. I'll buy one from you.
87
00:04:44,390 --> 00:04:47,090
That way you'll sell a candy bar plus
you'll have two dollars.
88
00:04:49,010 --> 00:04:50,190
Um, okay.
89
00:04:50,570 --> 00:04:51,570
Cool.
90
00:04:58,990 --> 00:04:59,990
Let me have some. Come on.
91
00:05:00,370 --> 00:05:01,370
No way.
92
00:05:02,490 --> 00:05:04,170
I'll sell you one for two dollars.
93
00:05:05,050 --> 00:05:06,050
Okay.
94
00:05:08,470 --> 00:05:10,830
This town sucks.
95
00:05:11,410 --> 00:05:13,070
We're never going to sell any candy.
96
00:05:13,850 --> 00:05:14,789
Hey, buddy.
97
00:05:14,790 --> 00:05:16,950
You're going to try one of these. I got
peanuts. It's really good.
98
00:05:18,130 --> 00:05:19,130
Oh, yeah?
99
00:05:20,430 --> 00:05:21,430
Cool.
100
00:05:25,270 --> 00:05:27,870
Hey, Beavis. Want to buy a candy bar
from me?
101
00:05:28,170 --> 00:05:29,270
Um, okay.
102
00:05:32,450 --> 00:05:33,850
Wanna buy one from me?
103
00:05:34,170 --> 00:05:35,530
Uh, okay.
104
00:05:40,570 --> 00:05:42,310
Selling candy's pretty cool.
105
00:05:43,950 --> 00:05:44,950
Yeah.
106
00:05:56,910 --> 00:05:57,990
This is horrible.
107
00:05:58,290 --> 00:05:59,290
Yeah, really.
108
00:06:01,890 --> 00:06:06,130
Bunch of rich kids, sissy boys, prancing
around on a boat. Yeah.
109
00:06:11,850 --> 00:06:12,850
Whoa,
110
00:06:14,030 --> 00:06:15,070
check it out. Don Henley.
111
00:06:15,390 --> 00:06:16,750
I didn't know he was a wolf.
112
00:06:17,730 --> 00:06:18,730
You didn't?
113
00:06:19,890 --> 00:06:23,030
Where have you been, Viva? He's a total
wolf.
114
00:06:23,530 --> 00:06:24,530
Really?
115
00:06:24,850 --> 00:06:25,850
Yeah.
116
00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:30,840
Anytime you see a dude on TV and he's,
like, trying to save some forest or
117
00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:34,060
something, it means he's a total wussy.
Really?
118
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:36,580
Yeah. Let me see.
119
00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:38,660
Sting, yeah, he's a wuss.
120
00:06:38,980 --> 00:06:39,799
Let's see.
121
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:43,560
Well, Ted Danson, yeah, he's a wussy.
Yeah.
122
00:06:44,940 --> 00:06:47,080
And don't forget Jackson Brown.
123
00:06:50,620 --> 00:06:54,340
Look at that. He's, like, fiddling
around with a dead guy's boots.
124
00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:59,880
Whoa. That's scary, Butthead. What if
after I die, like, some guy comes around
125
00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:01,240
and fiddles around with my wiener?
126
00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:04,300
Well, what, Beavis? You'd be dead. It
doesn't matter.
127
00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:06,400
Yeah, I guess so.
128
00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:11,040
I guess if I was out in the ocean with a
dead chick, I'd probably kiss her.
129
00:07:12,260 --> 00:07:14,120
I'd kiss a dead chick right here.
130
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:16,400
Yeah, so would I, yeah.
131
00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:21,760
But that's kind of messed up, Butthead.
I know. I was just kidding, Beavis.
132
00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:24,240
You were probably serious.
133
00:07:25,710 --> 00:07:26,710
Well, no.
134
00:07:27,050 --> 00:07:28,050
Not really.
135
00:07:32,470 --> 00:07:33,990
Excellent job, class.
136
00:07:35,230 --> 00:07:37,350
Hey, butthead, remember that dollar I
borrowed to you?
137
00:07:37,850 --> 00:07:39,430
Uh, oh, yeah.
138
00:07:40,150 --> 00:07:41,430
I remember it.
139
00:07:41,810 --> 00:07:43,310
Yeah, me too.
140
00:07:44,570 --> 00:07:47,270
Um, oh, yeah, I, like, need it back.
141
00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:53,110
Well, boys, let's see. The big sellers.
142
00:07:53,450 --> 00:07:54,450
How'd you do?
143
00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:56,260
We sold every one of them, dude.
144
00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:59,040
Yeah, they practically sold themselves.
145
00:08:00,260 --> 00:08:04,340
Well, maybe there's hope for you yet.
Don't touch me, asswipe!
146
00:08:04,700 --> 00:08:07,780
So, where's the money? Right here, dude.
147
00:08:08,380 --> 00:08:09,600
There you go.
148
00:08:11,060 --> 00:08:11,919
That's it?
149
00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:14,540
There'd better be a hell of a lot more
money than that, boys.
150
00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:16,540
Nope, that's all of it, dude.
151
00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:17,960
Two dollars.
152
00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:19,800
Yeah, you can count it if you want.
153
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:21,800
I don't believe you.
154
00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,780
I want you to give me everything you've
got in your pocket.
155
00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:28,860
Hey, Beavis, he wants what's in your
pocket.
156
00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:33,039
You're a pocket fisherman.
157
00:08:33,340 --> 00:08:36,840
Oh, no, you're not going to pull that
again. It took me six months to get
158
00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:39,960
another job. Now give me the rest of the
money, you little twerp. He's trying to
159
00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:41,380
touch my wiener. Let go, pervert.
160
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:47,220
Kick him in the nads, Beavis. You too,
you little tarter. What the hell are you
161
00:08:47,220 --> 00:08:49,060
doing? This is my class.
162
00:08:51,910 --> 00:08:53,470
Wait your turn, jarhead.
163
00:08:54,230 --> 00:08:59,470
You just made a fatal mistake, Mr. Candy
Ass.
164
00:08:59,690 --> 00:09:02,430
I hope you know something about hand -to
-hand combat.
165
00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:05,230
Oh, you're going down, soldier boy.
166
00:09:10,970 --> 00:09:11,970
Whoa.
167
00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:21,820
This kind of rocks.
168
00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:24,540
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like long hair
and drum.
169
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,000
Yeah.
170
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:28,640
You can't lose with that.
171
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,320
There should be more bands like this.
172
00:09:37,100 --> 00:09:40,840
There's about a million bands like this,
Viva. I know, I know. There needs to be
173
00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:41,840
more.
174
00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:44,760
There should be one of these speed metal
bands like everywhere.
175
00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:47,240
Like in the mall and, you know, like...
176
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,140
I guess that would be pretty cool.
177
00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:01,940
They should have, like, something in
your house where you can just, like,
178
00:10:01,940 --> 00:10:05,020
it on and see a band like this and,
like, turn it up really loud.
179
00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:07,600
That's a good idea, Beaver.
180
00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:10,680
You'd think they would have come up with
something like that by now. Yeah, yeah.
181
00:10:11,460 --> 00:10:13,960
I should, like, go to shop class and,
like, work on it.
182
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,280
Whoa, check out all that money.
183
00:10:16,580 --> 00:10:18,560
Yeah, yeah, money, money, money.
184
00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:23,000
I wonder if all that money is, like, the
band's money or if they just had to,
185
00:10:23,060 --> 00:10:24,660
like, go rent it to make this video.
186
00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:29,740
We should, like, rent some money and
then just go, like, spend it on stuff.
187
00:10:31,660 --> 00:10:34,680
Yeah. You're full of good ideas today,
Viva.
188
00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:36,120
Yeah.
189
00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:37,320
You see?
190
00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:39,800
You should listen to me once in a while,
dumbass.
191
00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:42,140
Viva, I got a good idea.
192
00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:44,860
Shut up.
193
00:10:44,910 --> 00:10:49,460
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