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Welcome to Hard Story.
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Tonight we bring you another special
report on breast implants.
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For many women, a visit to the plastic
surgeon means a larger, firmer, perkier
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bust. Just take a look at these
exclusive photos taken before and after.
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Whoa.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Their singing's got bigger.
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But is this operation worth the risk?
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Should women get potentially dangerous
implants just for the sake of, quote,
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bigger thingies?
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, go for it. Yeah,
go for it. Yeah.
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Hey,
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Beavis. What?
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We should go to one of those plastic
surgeon dudes about, you know, making
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thingies bigger.
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Um, mine are, like, already big enough.
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It's not worth the risk.
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Not bigger boobs, dumbass.
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Bigger, you know, thingies.
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We could, like, get wiener implants.
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Oh, yeah.
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Cool.
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Yes,
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Pantera, yeah, yeah.
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Yeah.
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But, uh, what's going on here?
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Don't worry about it, it's a drive.
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Baby. I like that. Yeah.
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Yeah. Yeah. Come on. Yeah.
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Yeah. Yeah.
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Hey, put it.
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Does this Pantera guy ever relax?
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I don't think so.
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This guy's dad must have kicked his ass
when he was a kid.
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Yeah, really.
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He was like, damn it, Pantera, this beer
is warm.
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Get me another one.
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Yeah.
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He was like, you treat your stepmother
with respect, Pantera.
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Or you'll be sleeping in the street.
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He's like,
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damn it, Pantera, I told you to get out
there and mow that lawn.
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Oh, what's this?
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Is that a tear, Pantera?
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Oh, is Daddy's little girl upset?
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I'm going to kick your ass in a next
Tuesday. Now get out of here and quit
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acting like a damn little girl.
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Settle down, Beavis.
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That was pretty cool.
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He's in a session right now with a
patient. Can I help you?
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We're going to get Big Wiener.
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Yes?
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Uh, does this surgeon work on, uh,
bones?
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Well,
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yes. He can change bone structure in
extreme cases.
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But he prefers to work with softer
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tissues. Yeah, yeah, me too.
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Good afternoon, Dr. Thoffer.
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I go through a lot of Kleenex.
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Uh,
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we want to, like, change our, uh, bone
structure.
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Yeah, yeah, me too.
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Good afternoon, doctor's office.
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Um, yeah.
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Hey, we were next, asswipe.
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Oh, really?
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You boys are next, huh?
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Well, uh, well, well, I'm the doctor, so
why don't you boys come on in?
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Uh, okay.
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So, how much smaller would you like? Uh,
we want them bigger.
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Yeah, we need bigger thingies.
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Hmm, well, I've never done an
enlargement. All my patients have either
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a reduction in size or a slightly
different shape.
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Stupid. Yeah.
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Size is everything.
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Well, I suppose I could fashion
something longer for you by breaking the
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and adding an extension.
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But it told me it's, like, not really a
bone. Well, actually, it's cartilage,
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which acts like a bone.
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Mine acts like a bone in the morning
sometimes.
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Hmm. Well, are you experiencing any
pain, any swelling, or any unusual
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discharge?
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Yeah, yeah, sometimes.
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Beavis is becoming a man, sir.
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Okay. Well, surgery is always risky, but
I think in your case, any change would
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probably be an improvement.
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Um, yeah, but how could you tell all
that just from looking at my nose?
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Well, let's just say I've seen a lot of
these little thingies in my line of
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work. Oh, yeah.
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Ow. Ugh.
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Is this operation gonna stink or
something?
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No. In fact, you probably won't smell a
thing for a couple weeks.
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So how come you're holding my nose?
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Please, don't talk.
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Well, I think I'll break the cartilage
in your nose and add an artificial
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extension there. Your noses will be
bandaged for at least a week afterwards.
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Um, are you gonna have to touch her,
Naz?
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Because, like, if you do, could you get
one of those, you know, female nurses to
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do it?
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Yeah, yeah, like maybe that chick out
front.
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Whoa.
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Check out his unit.
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Whoa, this chick is flat.
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See that?
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You see that unit? Yeah, yeah.
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That means it's not a chick.
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Oh, oh, yeah.
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I wouldn't look at that.
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I wonder what the most beautiful chick
in the world looked like.
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Uh, well, she'd have to be naked. Yeah,
yeah. And she'd have to have boob.
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Uh, yeah.
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It'd also be cool if she had a butt,
too.
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Yeah, yeah.
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That would rule.
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And also, like, if her butt was naked.
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Uh, yeah.
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Well, you know, when I said she'd have
to be naked, I meant, you know.
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Down there?
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Yeah.
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Yeah, really.
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You know, Beavis, I was looking at your
mom naked once.
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Really? How come you're naked?
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You know, Beavis, your mom was naked.
Oh, yeah.
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You know how Prince is like searching
for the most beautiful chick in the
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Yeah.
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Well, he doesn't need to go anywhere
near your house.
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Shut up, bro. I'm sick of you bad
-mouthing my mom.
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Mouthing?
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Oh, yeah.
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Mouthing.
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Bad -mouthing.
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This
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sucks.
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What?
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Our wieners are bigger. Oh, yeah.
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Mine look bigger, dude.
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Yeah.
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Me too.
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Now I need a bigger hand.
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Is that Jesus?
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Hey, is that our Lord Jesus Christ?
142
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Uh, no, I think it's Lenny Kravitz. Um,
no, I think it's... Oh, it's Rush.
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Oh, God.
144
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Yeah.
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Invisible airwaves crackle with life.
Bright and tender, we start with the
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energy.
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This guitar sounds kind of cool, though.
Yeah.
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If you happen to be a wuss.
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A dude with dreadlocks and tattoos
strapped to a chair.
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That's a good idea for a video.
151
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Didn't they do that before?
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Yeah, but, like, this guy's on a pole.
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00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:58,570
Oh, yeah, yeah.
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Now, wait a minute, bud. I think they
already did that, too. I thought dude,
155
00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:04,510
like, strapped to a chair up on, you
know, like on a pole.
156
00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:06,920
Yeah, but he didn't have dreadlocks.
157
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:11,280
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. He
had tattoos, though.
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00:09:11,281 --> 00:09:16,799
Yeah, it's like... They've had dudes
with dreadlocks strapped to a chair on a
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00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,540
pole, but they didn't have a tattoo.
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And it's like, they had dudes with
tattoos tied to a chair, but, like, they
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00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:26,759
weren't on a pole, and they didn't have
dreadlocks. Yeah, I remember that, yeah.
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So this is like, you know, all original
and stuff.
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Yeah, that's right, that's right.
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Pole.
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Pole.
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I think I saw Lenny Kravitz tied to a
cross once, too.
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Oh, Beavis, that was Jesus.
168
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Oh, yeah.
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Who is this chick?
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Uh, I don't know.
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00:09:52,380 --> 00:09:55,210
She looks like some chick you'd see
hanging out in Kmart.
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I think I've seen this chick before.
173
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Yeah.
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She did Prince.
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Oh, really?
176
00:10:03,660 --> 00:10:05,280
Well, at least that's something.
177
00:10:05,281 --> 00:10:09,699
You know, they don't have to keep
showing her just because she's singing.
178
00:10:09,700 --> 00:10:10,750
Yeah, really.
179
00:10:10,751 --> 00:10:14,339
Like, move down and show her butt or
something.
180
00:10:14,340 --> 00:10:15,390
Yeah.
181
00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:22,560
Look at the stupid stuff she keeps doing
with her face.
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This chick is pretty dumb.
183
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:29,600
Yeah. And she's probably a slut, too.
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00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:35,130
Why do you think this chick, like,
dresses up like a slut?
185
00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:38,200
Prince makes sure that all his women
look like sluts.
186
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That's one thing I like about him.
187
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Yeah.
188
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He has a vision.
189
00:10:45,260 --> 00:10:46,310
Me too.
190
00:10:47,060 --> 00:10:50,600
Someday, all the girls in the world will
all come unto me.
191
00:10:50,831 --> 00:10:52,929
It's going to be cool.
192
00:10:52,930 --> 00:10:57,480
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