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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:13,080 Everybody shut up! 2 00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:19,160 Right now, please give your undivided attention to Clark Cobb and his good 3 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:20,220 friend Socko. 4 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:28,320 Thank you, young students. I'm Clark Cobb from Cobb's Family Hardware. 5 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:32,220 Me and Socko here want to tell you about the Christian businessman's annual 6 00:00:32,220 --> 00:00:33,380 charity case walk -a -thon. 7 00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:39,220 Mr. Cobb, is it true that Jesus invented the walk -a -thon when he walked out 8 00:00:39,220 --> 00:00:40,580 onto the Sea of Galilee? 9 00:00:42,860 --> 00:00:43,860 That's right, Socko. 10 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:47,380 Socko's great. 11 00:00:49,820 --> 00:00:51,640 Socko's got a hand up his butt. 12 00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:59,140 When I look out into your eyes out there... Uh -oh. 13 00:01:00,020 --> 00:01:02,960 I think it's one of those TV preachers. Damn it, Beavis. 14 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:05,260 Better not send them all our money again. 15 00:01:05,580 --> 00:01:06,580 Oh, yeah. 16 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:08,589 It's like... 17 00:01:08,590 --> 00:01:10,990 Sometimes I can't help it. It's like, if they're going, I know that's right, 18 00:01:11,050 --> 00:01:12,090 yeah. Hallelujah. 19 00:01:12,410 --> 00:01:15,390 You know, like, before you know it, it's like, I'm on the phone, like, saying, 20 00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:16,590 yeah, yeah, here's all my money. 21 00:01:17,030 --> 00:01:19,770 Yeah, but it's like, you spend them all your money, and then you're still just a 22 00:01:19,770 --> 00:01:21,470 dumbass with a lot of problems. 23 00:01:21,910 --> 00:01:22,729 Oh, yeah. 24 00:01:22,730 --> 00:01:23,730 Hey, you're right. 25 00:01:23,870 --> 00:01:25,190 Damn it. I got ripped off. 26 00:01:26,910 --> 00:01:27,910 Elvis is in your jeans. 27 00:01:28,850 --> 00:01:29,950 Elvis is in our jeans? 28 00:01:31,630 --> 00:01:32,630 Yeah. 29 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:34,740 Yeah, he put it. Check this out. 30 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,600 Elvis has left my jeans. 31 00:01:39,540 --> 00:01:42,760 Damn it, Beavis. If you pull down your pants one more time, I'm going to beat 32 00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:44,360 the living crap out of you. 33 00:01:45,100 --> 00:01:46,100 Okay. 34 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:48,279 Thank you very much. 35 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:49,280 Thank you very much. 36 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:56,260 Hey, Beavis, while you were fiddling with your wiener, I think you said that 37 00:01:56,260 --> 00:01:58,160 Elvis is like in Joan Rivers. 38 00:01:59,860 --> 00:02:00,860 Whoa, really? 39 00:02:02,620 --> 00:02:03,620 That'd be cool. 40 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:05,200 Can we talk? 41 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:07,120 I've got Elvis inside me. 42 00:02:07,780 --> 00:02:10,660 That doesn't sound anything like her. 43 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:13,400 Thank you very much. 44 00:02:13,620 --> 00:02:14,620 Thank you very much. 45 00:02:16,780 --> 00:02:18,060 Check out Bunhead's go -kart. 46 00:02:18,380 --> 00:02:20,460 Yeah. Go -karts rule. 47 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:24,600 When I'm old, instead of a car, I'm going to have a go -kart. 48 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:27,600 Yeah. 49 00:02:29,990 --> 00:02:30,990 Elvis! 50 00:02:37,110 --> 00:02:38,210 Ow! Ow! 51 00:02:40,070 --> 00:02:41,070 Ow! 52 00:02:42,790 --> 00:02:43,790 Ow! 53 00:02:44,670 --> 00:02:46,290 You've got to pace yourself. 54 00:02:48,290 --> 00:02:49,290 Hello, 55 00:02:50,030 --> 00:02:52,930 boys. Learning how to drink from a cup, Beavis? 56 00:02:54,070 --> 00:02:55,070 Shut up! 57 00:02:55,780 --> 00:02:56,780 Diarrhea. 58 00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:59,980 How come you guys aren't out collecting pledges for the walk -a -thon? 59 00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:02,160 Uh, pledges? 60 00:03:02,780 --> 00:03:06,220 The way you raise money in a walk -a -thon is you get people to pledge money 61 00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:07,220 every mile you walk. 62 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:12,920 People give you X amount of money if you walk Y number of miles. 63 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:16,840 You get people to pay you to walk. 64 00:03:17,420 --> 00:03:18,420 Cool. 65 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:20,100 Why didn't you just say so? 66 00:03:20,540 --> 00:03:21,940 So, will you guys pledge for me? 67 00:03:22,260 --> 00:03:23,800 Uh, okay. 68 00:03:24,410 --> 00:03:25,650 Like, uh, how much? 69 00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:28,110 How's a quarter a mile sound? 70 00:03:28,690 --> 00:03:30,890 Uh, two quarters a mile? 71 00:03:31,270 --> 00:03:32,270 Seventy -five cents. 72 00:03:32,770 --> 00:03:33,770 Ah! 73 00:03:34,070 --> 00:03:35,690 I just said that, dumbass. 74 00:03:36,690 --> 00:03:38,310 Okay, uh, a dollar. 75 00:03:38,910 --> 00:03:39,910 Ten. 76 00:03:40,170 --> 00:03:41,410 Beavis and Butthead. 77 00:03:41,630 --> 00:03:44,250 Ten dollars a mile each. 78 00:03:44,650 --> 00:03:48,590 Hey, uh, don't you have to, like, do something for us now? 79 00:03:49,070 --> 00:03:50,410 Okay, fair's fair. 80 00:03:50,630 --> 00:03:53,410 For every mile you walk, I'll pledge a nickel for you guys to split. 81 00:03:56,250 --> 00:03:57,250 Okay. Great. 82 00:03:57,450 --> 00:03:58,690 See you at the walk -a -thon. 83 00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:06,770 What's so funny? We just totally ripped her off. 84 00:04:07,990 --> 00:04:08,990 Oh, yeah. 85 00:04:09,670 --> 00:04:10,670 Cool. 86 00:04:11,290 --> 00:04:13,090 And finally, folks, let me say this. 87 00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:16,589 Each step you take is like a kick in Satan's keister. 88 00:04:16,970 --> 00:04:17,970 You ready, psycho? 89 00:04:18,450 --> 00:04:21,690 On your mark, get set, go! 90 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:28,000 That's fucked. 91 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:31,240 Yeah. They didn't even use a gun. 92 00:04:32,020 --> 00:04:34,240 That's okay, dude, because we're going to be rich. 93 00:04:35,300 --> 00:04:37,400 Yeah. Charity is cool. 94 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:44,720 This sucks. 95 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:46,340 There's too many people watching. 96 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:48,240 Yeah. 97 00:04:48,900 --> 00:04:50,000 Let's go this way. 98 00:04:55,630 --> 00:04:56,650 Walking fuck. 99 00:04:57,090 --> 00:04:58,090 Yeah. 100 00:04:58,570 --> 00:05:02,630 I don't understand what all this walking crap has to do with making money. 101 00:05:03,130 --> 00:05:04,130 Yeah, really. 102 00:05:04,390 --> 00:05:05,390 Uh, 103 00:05:07,630 --> 00:05:10,490 we must be close to that ten mile mark by now. 104 00:05:27,220 --> 00:05:31,640 Good job, boys. You made it. Your friend Daria already gave me the 50 cents she 105 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:35,600 pledged you, so if you ante up the 100 bucks apiece you pledged her, we'll be 106 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:36,600 all squared up. 107 00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:38,560 You two are fine young people. 108 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:41,720 Uh, could you, like, give us our money now? 109 00:05:42,380 --> 00:05:43,600 Yeah, yeah, give us our money. 110 00:05:44,580 --> 00:05:48,340 Don't tell me you boys weren't planning to pay. I thought we ripped off Daria, 111 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:49,360 butthead. 112 00:05:49,820 --> 00:05:55,240 Uh... Boys, when you play the Christian Businessmen's Association for fools... 113 00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:56,800 You play the Lord for a fool. 114 00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:58,900 Uh, could you, like, shut up? 115 00:05:59,340 --> 00:06:02,860 Yeah. Now, because I'm a Christian, I will not strike you. 116 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:08,460 But because I'm a businessman, I will see to it that you walk off this pledge 117 00:06:08,460 --> 00:06:13,780 a rate of five cents a mile between you. Now, let me see. That would be 4 ,000 118 00:06:13,780 --> 00:06:15,360 miles. You better get started, boys. 119 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:19,340 Uh... Um... Uh... What? 120 00:06:26,370 --> 00:06:27,370 Okay. 121 00:06:28,310 --> 00:06:30,870 Uh... This is kind of irritating. 122 00:06:31,530 --> 00:06:32,530 Yeah. 123 00:06:33,390 --> 00:06:36,770 I bet there's one little song that, like, sucks right now, but then later on 124 00:06:36,770 --> 00:06:37,770 starts rocking. 125 00:06:39,210 --> 00:06:42,590 Uh... How do you know? Because one guy's got a goatee. 126 00:06:43,430 --> 00:06:44,490 Uh... Oh. 127 00:06:46,010 --> 00:06:47,010 Well, let's see. 128 00:06:47,910 --> 00:06:48,910 Ugh! 129 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:54,140 Is that what you're talking about, Beavis? What's going on? 130 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:56,360 What the hell is going on here? 131 00:06:56,780 --> 00:06:58,020 Yeah, what is that? 132 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:06,440 This is like that easy listening stuff. 133 00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:07,840 Oh, yeah, yeah. 134 00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:11,800 Why don't they call that easy listening when it's like really hard to listen to? 135 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:13,480 It makes me sick. 136 00:07:17,910 --> 00:07:21,270 Damn it, Beavis, you promised that this would start rocking. I didn't promise, 137 00:07:21,410 --> 00:07:24,710 but I said maybe it would start rocking. Well, maybe I'm going to smack you 138 00:07:24,710 --> 00:07:26,810 upside the head, you dumbass. 139 00:07:27,690 --> 00:07:29,450 I'm going to kick your ass, I promise. 140 00:07:34,690 --> 00:07:41,370 Why do these guys 141 00:07:41,370 --> 00:07:44,230 fuck so much? Yeah, they dress up like they're going to rock. 142 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:45,560 But then they just suck. 143 00:07:46,420 --> 00:07:47,420 Yeah. 144 00:07:48,340 --> 00:07:53,360 These guys are like a cross between Stone Temple Pilots and... And my dad. 145 00:07:54,180 --> 00:08:01,040 Nelson and... And my butt. Billy Joel and my... And some turds. Eddie 146 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:02,040 Rabbit. 147 00:08:04,420 --> 00:08:05,800 Rats are cool. 148 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:09,880 Somebody better call the orchid man. Whoa, candle. 149 00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:11,500 Candle. 150 00:08:11,580 --> 00:08:12,580 Candle. 151 00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:13,700 Candle. Candle. 152 00:08:13,860 --> 00:08:20,860 Have you ever seen those alarm clocks that they're like candles and you 153 00:08:20,860 --> 00:08:21,860 stick them up your butt? 154 00:08:22,020 --> 00:08:24,040 Uh, I've never heard of that, Viva. 155 00:08:24,300 --> 00:08:25,159 Yeah, yeah. 156 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:28,380 It's like they have all these times written on the side, and then you light 157 00:08:28,380 --> 00:08:31,820 and sleep on your stomach, and then when it like burns down to the time, it's 158 00:08:31,820 --> 00:08:33,600 like it gets on your butt and you're like... 159 00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:36,960 And then you wake up and... Really? 160 00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:41,340 Yeah. I'll show you one. My uncle has a whole bunch of them. He usually gives me 161 00:08:41,340 --> 00:08:42,340 one for my birthday. 162 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:46,720 He bought it. That's the guy that works at Maxi Mart. 163 00:08:47,020 --> 00:08:48,020 Oh, yeah. 164 00:08:48,540 --> 00:08:50,460 He's cleaning out the Slurpee machine. 165 00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:53,780 Get me a large horchata. 166 00:08:54,420 --> 00:08:55,680 Horchata and a blue wackadoo. 167 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:01,100 This chick is psycho. 168 00:09:01,940 --> 00:09:05,120 Yeah, it's like, you know, it's like she's pretty hot, but it's like, I don't 169 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:06,120 know, man. 170 00:09:06,300 --> 00:09:08,100 I might stay away from her. 171 00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:09,340 Yeah. 172 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:13,720 It's like she's got a nice body and everything, but if you went out with 173 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:17,240 she'd probably, like, put a rat's head on your bed or something. 174 00:09:17,620 --> 00:09:21,100 That wouldn't be so bad. She'd probably chop off your wiener tooth. 175 00:09:21,620 --> 00:09:22,620 Oh, yeah. 176 00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:26,600 You don't want to get involved with a chick who has, like, a whole bunch of 177 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:27,600 pets. 178 00:09:28,810 --> 00:09:29,810 They get all psycho. 179 00:09:32,130 --> 00:09:38,990 Did I ever catch that 180 00:09:38,990 --> 00:09:40,850 dude who, like, invented the walk -a -thon? 181 00:09:42,630 --> 00:09:44,010 I'm gonna kick his ass. 182 00:09:44,470 --> 00:09:47,770 Yeah. I thought charity was supposed to, like, be for free. 183 00:09:49,270 --> 00:09:51,450 How about less talking and more walking, boys? 184 00:09:51,790 --> 00:09:54,830 You're gonna finish this job even if it takes you till the second coming. 185 00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:56,470 Charity sucks. 186 00:09:57,590 --> 00:09:58,590 Yeah. 187 00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:08,560 Whoa, 188 00:10:09,300 --> 00:10:10,680 this looks like that cop show. 189 00:10:11,620 --> 00:10:16,020 Yeah, really. It's like... One at them five, one at them five. We have a female 190 00:10:16,020 --> 00:10:19,080 Caucasian chick standing in the road acting like a dumbass. We're gonna need 191 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:20,080 backup, come on. 192 00:10:20,300 --> 00:10:22,220 Uh, Roger, one at them five. 193 00:10:23,580 --> 00:10:25,500 Grip her down naked and bring her to me. 194 00:10:25,980 --> 00:10:27,120 That's a 10 -4, good buddy. 195 00:10:27,340 --> 00:10:29,340 Come on. 196 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:32,580 That's pretty cool, Beaver. 197 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:34,380 You could probably be a cop. 198 00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:39,820 I think it's, like, in my blood, because, like, I heard my dad was, like, 199 00:10:39,820 --> 00:10:40,820 Navy or something. 200 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:46,480 I'm, 201 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:50,800 like, one of those dudes that's, like, really intent all the time. It's, like, 202 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:54,160 you wear the earrings and stuff, and, like, sometimes it's pretty cool, but 203 00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:55,160 sometimes I just, like, go... 204 00:10:55,660 --> 00:10:56,419 Damn it. 205 00:10:56,420 --> 00:10:57,420 Yeah. 206 00:10:58,260 --> 00:11:01,500 Guys like this, like, they always come into Burger World telling you why meat's 207 00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:02,620 bad for you and stuff. 208 00:11:03,420 --> 00:11:04,420 Oh, yeah, yeah. 209 00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:09,060 But it's like, I always tell them, if meat's bad for you, then how come it's 210 00:11:09,060 --> 00:11:10,060 food? 211 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:15,200 Then I tell them to get the hell out of my restaurant. 212 00:11:21,750 --> 00:11:25,790 This looks like that dude from that movie, Smell of a Woman. 213 00:11:26,210 --> 00:11:27,149 Oh, yeah, yeah. 214 00:11:27,150 --> 00:11:32,010 You know, he was like blind and stuff. Yeah, yeah, it's like, hoo -ha, hoo -ha, 215 00:11:32,010 --> 00:11:33,250 hoo -ha. 216 00:11:34,290 --> 00:11:35,290 He's a good actor. 14900