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1
00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:10,420
All right, what's the square root of
nine?
2
00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:15,240
Beavis and Butthead, do you know the
answer?
3
00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:21,380
Can you, like, repeat the question a few
times?
4
00:00:21,700 --> 00:00:24,540
The square root of the number nine.
5
00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:26,580
Answer, pronto.
6
00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:29,420
Um, 60?
7
00:00:30,020 --> 00:00:33,420
Uh, 90210?
8
00:00:33,820 --> 00:00:36,140
Yeah, um, LMNOP?
9
00:00:40,620 --> 00:00:46,860
I agree with him, boys. Your
difficulties in math, as well as every
10
00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:50,720
make it clear that you just don't belong
in the ninth grade.
11
00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:56,959
I'm calling the principal of Wilson
Elementary School to arrange for you
12
00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:58,120
go back one grade.
13
00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:01,620
Uh, so like, what grade would that put
us in?
14
00:01:02,380 --> 00:01:04,180
Are we going to, like, be in college?
15
00:01:05,420 --> 00:01:06,880
That would be cool.
16
00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:08,200
Yeah, then we'd score.
17
00:01:09,620 --> 00:01:11,600
Enjoy your new school, boys.
18
00:01:18,291 --> 00:01:19,899
It
19
00:01:19,900 --> 00:01:27,119
is
20
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:31,559
in these hills that Juan Valdez and his
trusty goat gather coffee beans every
21
00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:32,610
morning.
22
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:33,850
Yeah.
23
00:01:41,660 --> 00:01:48,440
I can make a face like that. Check this
out.
24
00:01:52,340 --> 00:01:54,920
That wasn't very good, Bucket.
25
00:01:55,460 --> 00:01:57,880
That was scary, man.
26
00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:01,100
Yeah, that scared the bejesus out of me.
27
00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:14,300
Black hole sun.
28
00:02:14,740 --> 00:02:17,120
Black hole sun.
29
00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:19,480
Black hole?
30
00:02:19,990 --> 00:02:21,040
Hole?
31
00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:23,960
Black hole?
32
00:02:25,030 --> 00:02:26,710
Hey, Butter, what is a black hole?
33
00:02:26,850 --> 00:02:30,950
Uh, it's sort of like a bunghole, but
it's like... Whoa, Butter, check it out.
34
00:02:30,990 --> 00:02:35,230
That's a chick from Whale, remember?
That hobo slumping hobo slut, uh,
35
00:02:35,850 --> 00:02:38,080
Shut up, Beavis. I was explaining
something.
36
00:02:38,390 --> 00:02:39,440
Oh, okay.
37
00:02:39,470 --> 00:02:44,530
So, like, a black hole is like this
giant bunghole in outer space.
38
00:02:45,690 --> 00:02:46,740
It's like...
39
00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:48,260
It fucks up the whole universe.
40
00:02:48,700 --> 00:02:52,360
And that's like, it grinds it up and
like, cleans it all to hell or
41
00:02:52,620 --> 00:02:53,670
Wow, really?
42
00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:54,750
Yeah, cool.
43
00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:57,110
But like, um, how do you know all this
stuff?
44
00:02:57,300 --> 00:02:59,620
From watching Star Trek, bunghole.
45
00:03:00,940 --> 00:03:05,980
This sucks.
46
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:10,080
Yeah. Why do we have to like, go back to
8th grade to get to college?
47
00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:14,280
Cancel out the common factors and we
have x equals 2 squared.
48
00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:20,460
So X is obviously two times two. Have
you ever, like, been with an older man?
49
00:03:21,580 --> 00:03:23,440
Leave me alone, you loser.
50
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,940
Loser. Shut up, dill hole.
51
00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:32,520
Excuse me.
52
00:03:32,740 --> 00:03:34,840
Are you paying attention back there?
53
00:03:35,460 --> 00:03:36,510
No.
54
00:03:37,620 --> 00:03:40,860
What did I just say X is?
55
00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:43,570
Two.
56
00:03:47,340 --> 00:03:52,160
Uh... Two squared, two to the second
power.
57
00:03:57,500 --> 00:04:01,360
Four plus five?
58
00:04:01,620 --> 00:04:03,980
Come on, four added to five?
59
00:04:04,300 --> 00:04:05,760
Um, W?
60
00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:11,340
No way, Lava. Uh, like two squared or
something?
61
00:04:11,790 --> 00:04:16,910
This desk is giving me a stiffy. I don't
even have room for a stiffy.
62
00:04:18,450 --> 00:04:19,500
Hey,
63
00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:25,480
Beavis.
64
00:04:26,190 --> 00:04:27,770
These ticks are flat.
65
00:04:30,050 --> 00:04:34,930
So the mean, grumpy bear...
66
00:04:35,420 --> 00:04:37,520
turned into a nice, happy bear.
67
00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:43,140
And he lived happily ever after with the
100 jars of honey, minus one.
68
00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:45,040
Numbers, fuck.
69
00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:51,719
Are you angry, butthead? Yeah, I'm like
angry at Numbers. Yeah, there's like too
70
00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:52,800
many of them and stuff.
71
00:04:53,700 --> 00:04:56,200
That's okay. It's all right to be angry.
72
00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:58,360
Everyone gets angry sometimes.
73
00:04:59,260 --> 00:05:03,040
Well, let's do some coloring now. Won't
that be fun?
74
00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:04,450
Yeah!
75
00:05:05,540 --> 00:05:07,060
What's with you, dumbass?
76
00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:08,530
Coloring sucks.
77
00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:18,020
Who wants juice and cookies?
78
00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:20,219
Yeah! These
79
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:26,879
cookies
80
00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:29,340
suck. Do you have any, like, nachos?
81
00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:32,240
No, I don't have any nachos. Sorry.
82
00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:34,340
And I don't like spitting.
83
00:05:34,840 --> 00:05:37,140
Spitting can spread germs. Germs!
84
00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:38,480
Germs! Germs!
85
00:05:38,481 --> 00:05:39,839
Either
86
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:54,659
get
87
00:05:54,660 --> 00:05:59,180
these imbeciles out of my class, or get
yourself a new kindergarten teacher!
88
00:05:59,580 --> 00:06:02,620
Well, I could try sending them back to
preschool.
89
00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:05,980
But eventually they'd come back through
here.
90
00:06:06,850 --> 00:06:12,109
Uh... Why don't you, like, put us in a
higher grade? You know, where the chicks
91
00:06:12,110 --> 00:06:14,550
have big thingies? Yeah, yeah, me too.
92
00:06:15,210 --> 00:06:16,290
See what I mean?
93
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:17,950
Yes, I see.
94
00:06:18,230 --> 00:06:20,990
Hey, these boys just gave me an idea.
95
00:06:22,910 --> 00:06:26,969
You're looking at the brightest students
that have ever passed through the
96
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,330
hallowed halls of Wilson Elementary
School.
97
00:06:29,870 --> 00:06:30,920
Yeah.
98
00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:37,290
Breaking up.
99
00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:39,200
Whoa, check it out, butthead.
100
00:06:39,201 --> 00:06:41,719
There's a kick back there in that
window. I think she's naked.
101
00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:42,770
Shut up, Beaver.
102
00:06:42,940 --> 00:06:43,990
No, she's not.
103
00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:45,600
Okay. Okay.
104
00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:49,370
Hey,
105
00:06:50,900 --> 00:06:55,800
Beaver. That guy said he hears dark
voices in his head.
106
00:06:56,790 --> 00:07:00,790
Oh, really? I hear voices, too, but,
like, usually they're white guys.
107
00:07:00,791 --> 00:07:05,409
Sometimes it's, like, you know, a
Chinese dude, too, that talks to me.
108
00:07:05,410 --> 00:07:06,510
A couple Mexicans.
109
00:07:06,930 --> 00:07:07,980
Really?
110
00:07:09,350 --> 00:07:10,910
What does the Chinese guy say?
111
00:07:11,370 --> 00:07:13,590
He says, hold on your pants.
112
00:07:14,170 --> 00:07:15,220
Thank you, monkey.
113
00:07:17,150 --> 00:07:18,630
What does a white guy say?
114
00:07:19,250 --> 00:07:22,170
The same thing, but, like, he talks just
like me.
115
00:07:23,751 --> 00:07:29,979
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here we go. Yeah, come
on. Come on. Hit it. Hit it. Come on.
116
00:07:29,980 --> 00:07:30,719
Smash it.
117
00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:33,099
Smash it. Come on. Come on. What are you
waiting for? Smash it.
118
00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:34,150
Settle down, Beaver.
119
00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:36,210
This is a video.
120
00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:40,639
Anytime you see a cake and a baseball
bat in the same video, the cake is going
121
00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:41,690
to get an ass kicked.
122
00:07:42,060 --> 00:07:45,660
Yeah, but why are you waiting so long?
Come on. Come on. Break it. Break it.
123
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:47,380
Smash it. Come on. Come on. Damn it.
124
00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:50,690
Where's the cake?
125
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:51,920
Where's that damn cake?
126
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,900
Let me see it. You dumbass.
127
00:07:59,940 --> 00:08:03,720
I don't see what the big deal is about
breaking up. I'd just like to say, hey,
128
00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:05,380
baby, get lost.
129
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:10,559
You know, we can, like, still do it and
stuff, but I'm going to have to ask you
130
00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:12,970
to leave. Hey, hey, hey, shut up, shut
up, shut up.
131
00:08:13,020 --> 00:08:14,070
Yeah.
132
00:08:14,380 --> 00:08:15,430
See,
133
00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:17,920
I told you, butt money.
134
00:08:21,770 --> 00:08:23,910
Stop, pupils, my ass!
135
00:08:24,250 --> 00:08:29,350
These two boys are morons! You just
weren't reaching them.
136
00:08:29,351 --> 00:08:33,168
They've learned everything they're going
to learn in elementary school.
137
00:08:33,169 --> 00:08:35,590
Now their young minds need room to grow.
138
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:39,049
So we graduated them early, and we're
not taking them back.
139
00:08:40,990 --> 00:08:43,570
Uh, you just weren't reaching us, dude.
140
00:08:43,929 --> 00:08:47,830
Yeah, and if you try reaching for us,
I'll kick you in the nab.
141
00:08:52,730 --> 00:08:53,780
Hey,
142
00:08:58,830 --> 00:08:59,970
maybe they'll break it.
143
00:09:06,210 --> 00:09:07,260
What's going on?
144
00:09:09,030 --> 00:09:15,989
This song, it sounds like everything
else
145
00:09:15,990 --> 00:09:17,070
sounds like right now.
146
00:09:17,071 --> 00:09:21,109
In fact, there's about a bazillion vans
that, like, sound exactly like this
147
00:09:21,110 --> 00:09:22,160
right now. Yeah.
148
00:09:22,810 --> 00:09:24,790
I mean, at least they're breaking stuff.
149
00:09:24,910 --> 00:09:25,960
Mm -hmm.
150
00:09:26,790 --> 00:09:28,970
Whoa, they're putting honey on grape?
151
00:09:28,971 --> 00:09:30,689
Yeah, yeah.
152
00:09:30,690 --> 00:09:31,740
That's cool.
153
00:09:31,741 --> 00:09:35,449
Remember that movie where they buried
that guy up to his neck, and then, like,
154
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:37,800
put honey on him and brought out the
ants? Yeah.
155
00:09:38,730 --> 00:09:39,990
That was cool.
156
00:09:40,190 --> 00:09:41,240
Yeah.
157
00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:47,490
I tried that once, and I was like, I was
like, I buried myself up to my neck,
158
00:09:47,530 --> 00:09:49,230
and I forgot to get the honey.
159
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:54,350
Dumbass. So then I dug myself out, and I
was too lazy, and I'm like, you know,
160
00:09:54,390 --> 00:09:55,440
do it again.
161
00:09:55,670 --> 00:09:56,720
Yeah.
162
00:09:59,730 --> 00:10:02,440
Remember that time I tried to bury you
up to your neck?
163
00:10:02,460 --> 00:10:05,770
Yeah, but you did it wrong. The guy in
the movie looked like feet fur.
164
00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:06,979
Oh, yeah.
165
00:10:06,980 --> 00:10:10,059
Then you got all freaked out and ran up
and down the street with your pants
166
00:10:10,060 --> 00:10:11,110
around your ankle.
167
00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:13,610
I didn't really run. I just kind of
hopped.
168
00:10:13,611 --> 00:10:15,669
Cool.
169
00:10:15,670 --> 00:10:20,220
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