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1
00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:07,382
You're right.
There y'all are.
2
00:00:07,466 --> 00:00:08,550
Where you been?
3
00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:10,594
- Isabella has been
giving me some tips
4
00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:13,13
on how to become
a good mother.
5
00:00:13,96 --> 00:00:14,431
- [chuckling] Oh, really?
6
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:17,476
- | got an A in childhood
socioemotional functioning
7
00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:19,478
and cognitive development.
8
00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:20,979
Plus, | did a lot
of babysitting.
9
00:00:21,63 --> 00:00:22,397
Yeah.
10
00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:24,525
- And since I'm thinking
about becoming a mom,
11
00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:26,360
| wanted to know
what it would be like.
12
00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:29,863
And | thought
who better to ask?
13
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,282
- [laughs]
14
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:35,452
How about asking someone
who's actually had a baby?
15
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:38,80
| don't know,
maybe somebody like me?
16
00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:42,251
- Bobbie, you had Gracie
decades ago.
17
00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:44,211
Isabella just
took that class.
18
00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:47,05
- | think Bobbie's
feeling left out.
19
00:00:47,89 --> 00:00:48,173
- | don't feel left out.
20
00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:49,550
- Are you sure?
21
00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:51,802
I'll listen if you feel
like you've got
something to offer.
22
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:54,96
- Of course I've got
something to offer!
23
00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:55,764
Oh.
Oh, see, Gabby,
24
00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:57,849
that's the insecure
attachment style
| was talking about.
25
00:00:57,933 --> 00:00:58,934
- Ah, mm.
26
00:00:59,17 --> 00:01:00,519
- See, if a child
doesn't feel protected,
27
00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:01,603
it can lead to the need
28
00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:03,730
for outside validation
in adulthood.
29
00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:04,815
- Mm-hmm, good example.
30
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,358
Thank you, Bobbie.
You've been very helpful.
31
00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:09,820
- OK, here's all
you need to know.
32
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:12,531
You tell them you
love them in the morning
when they wake up.
33
00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:14,449
You tell them you love them
when they go to bed.
34
00:01:14,533 --> 00:01:16,994
And try not to drop 'em
in between.
35
00:01:17,77 --> 00:01:18,870
- Everybody's got advice.
36
00:01:18,954 --> 00:01:20,956
You know, one book says
you should be strict.
37
00:01:21,39 --> 00:01:23,41
Another book says
you should be easygoing.
38
00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:24,293
Then you watch
a "Roseanne" rerun
39
00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:26,211
and you think you
should scream at them.
40
00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:27,462
- Ignore all of that.
41
00:01:27,546 --> 00:01:29,339
One thing | know
for sure, Gabby,
42
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:33,93
today, right now,
you'd make a great mom.
43
00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:34,928
- lagree 100%.
44
00:01:35,12 --> 00:01:36,138
-Mm-hmm.
45
00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:37,306
- Thank you.
46
00:01:37,389 --> 00:01:40,100
[upbeat music]
47
00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:41,643
is
48
00:01:41,727 --> 00:01:43,20
- Hey, guys.
49
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:45,689
| bet you're wondering why
I'm walking in backwards.
50
00:01:47,24 --> 00:01:50,152
And no, it's not
because the squats
have been paying off.
51
00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:54,740
Ring-a-ding, I'm amom!
52
00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:00,245
- Oh, my God!
53
00:02:01,79 --> 00:02:02,122
She stole a baby!
54
00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:07,44
- Dear diary, today
was an interesting day
at work.
55
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:12,507
- J Sometimes it feels
like a big ol’ fight I
56
00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:14,760
~ To get through the day f
57
00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:16,386
f And sleep on
through the night f
58
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,472
~ But here
you'll find a place J
59
00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:22,184
f That'll surely
lift your spirits f
60
00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:27,64
~ You belong
at Happy's Place J
61
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,857
- Gabby, what
have you done?
62
00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:31,151
- Well, you remember
last week when you
said that | would
63
00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:32,527
be a great mother
right now?
64
00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:35,72
Well, now is now.
[chuckles]
65
00:02:35,614 --> 00:02:36,990
This is my starter baby.
66
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:39,993
- Morning, Gabby.
Cute kid.
67
00:02:40,77 --> 00:02:42,204
- Aw, you're sweet.
68
00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:43,455
But it's not...
69
00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:45,123
human.
70
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:49,670
It's an Al baby
that | ordered online.
71
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:51,380
- Dear diary,
72
00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:54,216
the child that will
free the robots
has arrived.
73
00:02:55,50 --> 00:02:56,551
Aw.
Oh, hello.
74
00:02:56,635 --> 00:02:59,262
- Wow. I've
heard of these.
75
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,98
It's so lifelike.
76
00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:04,393
- That kid is creeping...
77
00:03:06,61 --> 00:03:08,647
right into my heart.
[chuckles]
78
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:10,774
So dang cute.
Yeah.
79
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:14,695
- Hey, Emmett.
Come Say hi
to Gabby's baby.
80
00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:20,826
- OK, why is it--
81
00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:23,704
he--she--it--them.
82
00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:25,372
Why?
83
00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:28,834
- Well, | wanted my baby
to meet the rest of my family.
84
00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:31,294
And now that they have,
we can spend
the whole day together.
85
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:32,421
[giggles]
86
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:35,882
- Dear diary,
Alexa has found a body.
87
00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:40,929
is
88
00:03:41,12 --> 00:03:44,391
Why did she go into
the office for privacy
while she feeds it?
89
00:03:46,17 --> 00:03:49,771
She's not
actually nursing
that thing, is she?
90
00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:52,774
- OK, normally,
| don't like to tell
you guys how to behave.
91
00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:54,359
- Yes, you do.
92
00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,362
- Gabby doesn't
want to show it,
93
00:03:57,446 --> 00:03:58,905
but she's
really nervous, OK?
94
00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:01,450
How you respond
to this matters.
95
00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:03,118
- And we all said
that we'd support her
96
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:05,787
when she said
she was thinking
about having a child.
97
00:04:05,871 --> 00:04:09,332
- Right, which we will,
when she has a child.
98
00:04:10,41 --> 00:04:11,543
And not an iPad.
99
00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:14,838
- You can't say that joke
in front of Gabby, OK?
100
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,256
- What if she's
not in the room?
101
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:18,467
- Then we'll be
laughing our asses Off.
102
00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:24,181
- Boy, Someone was
certainly hungry.
103
00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:29,561
- Dear God.
104
00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:34,107
- Well, | don't
know about y'all,
but I'm impressed.
105
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:37,360
Gabby's only been
a mom for one day,
106
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:40,30
and she's
already knocking it
out of the ballpark.
107
00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:43,992
- Oh. Oh, gosh.
Oh, you know what?
108
00:04:44,75 --> 00:04:45,76
You guys are the best.
109
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:48,205
| can't think
of anyone I'd
rather watch my baby
110
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,289
for the day
than you all.
111
00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:51,666
- [chuckles]
What's that now?
112
00:04:53,01 --> 00:04:54,795
- We totally
support you, Gabby.
113
00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:56,922
So what Gabby needs,
Gabby gets.
114
00:04:57,05 --> 00:04:58,89
OK, how can we help?
115
00:04:58,173 --> 00:05:01,259
- Well, I'm practicing
for worst-case scenarios.
116
00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:04,721
This is the day
that my babysitter
is unavailable.
117
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,723
- Just imagine
a new one.
118
00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:11,978
- | did.
Also unavailable.
119
00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:16,316
Both my babysitters,
Stacy | and Stacy Y,
120
00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:18,68
who I'm thinking
are best friends,
121
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,778
went to a concert
out of state,
122
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:21,780
which is partly
my fault because |
pay them so well.
123
00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:25,200
[chuckles] | mean,
excuse me
for being generous.
124
00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:29,246
And the roads
are closed
because of, um, lava.
125
00:05:31,39 --> 00:05:32,833
- Chains don't
help with that.
126
00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:36,503
- Are we seriously
having this conversation?
127
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:39,631
- Look, Emmett, | Know
that this may seem silly,
128
00:05:39,714 --> 00:05:42,08
but if I'm gonna do this,
I'm gonna be a single mom,
129
00:05:42,92 --> 00:05:44,386
and | need to know
that | can count
On you guys.
130
00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:45,804
| can't do this alone.
131
00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:47,430
- You won't be alone.
132
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:49,140
We are all totally committed
133
00:05:49,224 --> 00:05:50,809
to helping you
take care of the--
134
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:51,893
little one.
135
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,230
- You're darn tootin’
we are.
136
00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:57,691
Now give me that little cutie,
and I'll take the first shift.
137
00:05:57,774 --> 00:05:59,901
- Oh, no, no, no,
| want to pick
who goes first.
138
00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:02,153
[chuckling] Um...
139
00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:06,867
oh, well, Steve,
you seem to be
avoiding my gaze.
140
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:10,328
- No, I'm just concerned
about those babysitters.
141
00:06:12,38 --> 00:06:14,958
With that lava
and those ticket prices.
142
00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:18,837
- Oh, oh,
what's that, sweetie?
143
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:22,632
Oh, oh, you want to go
to your Uncle Steve?
144
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,968
Oh, OK.
145
00:06:25,51 --> 00:06:27,53
- Isabella is nice.
146
00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:28,680
Takoda loves kids.
147
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,223
Bobbie has boobies.
148
00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:36,938
If it gets hungry,
lam not going to feed it.
149
00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:40,609
[upbeat music]
150
00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:43,612
- Doesn't that
hurt your arms?
151
00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,947
- Yes, it's agonizing.
152
00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:49,34
Will you please
take your baby?
153
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:51,703
- No. | need to know
that you can do this.
154
00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:53,204
- You're just torturing me.
155
00:06:53,288 --> 00:06:55,665
You will never let me
take care of your baby.
156
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,00
- Yes, | would.
157
00:06:57,83 --> 00:06:59,210
You keep a schedule,
you're very hygienic,
158
00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:01,504
you're always aware
of your Surroundings.
159
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:03,840
You're like a Roomba
with great hair.
160
00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:06,635
Really?
Yeah.
161
00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:08,261
- | guess | could try.
162
00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:09,346
- Yes.
163
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:11,973
There ya go.
164
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:14,267
Aw.
165
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:17,145
It's not that bad.
No.
166
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:18,939
- It's kind
of nice, actually.
167
00:07:19,22 --> 00:07:20,482
| could get used to--
168
00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:21,816
it's wet.
169
00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:26,237
- You know what?
170
00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:28,406
You're gonna have to do it.
Yeah, | got to take this.
171
00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:30,784
It's a school we've
been trying to get into.
172
00:07:43,755 --> 00:07:46,424
- Are you changing
that baby
or preparing it?
173
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:49,135
- It's not really wet.
174
00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:50,887
| just pretended it was
so | could
175
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,430
stop pretending it's real.
176
00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:54,724
- | hear ya.
177
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,309
I'm all about
supporting Gabby,
178
00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:59,562
but this is
really strange.
179
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:00,939
- Yeah.
180
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,692
But it is kind of cute,
don't you think?
181
00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:06,277
- Kind of cute?
What are you
talking about?
182
00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:09,572
Oh, oh.
183
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,866
No, you don't
have to worry.
Gabby can't hear you.
184
00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:15,245
She's still talking
on the phone
with that fake school.
185
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,374
- Good. Then | can stop
pretending to care.
186
00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:22,669
Oh, no, baby.
The baby's hair
is messed up.
187
00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:25,338
No. All better, yeah.
188
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:26,840
- What the hell's
wrong with you?
189
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,135
- It's just--
190
00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:34,55
it's kind of nice, Gabby
wanting me to look after it.
191
00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:36,266
I'll probably never have
one of my own because of,
192
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:39,60
you know,
everything going on up here.
193
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:41,646
That thing
got to you, didn't it?
194
00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:43,898
- [chuckles softly]
It's sweet.
195
00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:46,443
Makes cute noises.
It's heated.
196
00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:50,71
It's even got
that new baby smell.
197
00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:53,116
Really?
Mm-hmm.
198
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:00,415
- Hmm.
199
00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:02,709
That's nice.
200
00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:05,503
Is that cinnamon?
201
00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:12,969
What are you staring at?
202
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:16,598
- If | knew,
| wouldn't be staring.
203
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,185
- Hey, if you
don't mind,
204
00:09:21,19 --> 00:09:22,812
I'd like to take
a shot at it.
205
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:28,26
- OK.
206
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,487
Come on.
Support its head.
207
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:34,32
Bye, baby. Bye.
208
00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:35,950
Out!
OK.
209
00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,789
- I'm gonna name you Cinnamon.
210
00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:43,750
[upbeat music]
211
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:46,419
is
212
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,171
Well, that'll do it.
213
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,07
[sighs]
214
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,805
Now we're both
food safety-compliant.
215
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:02,602
| Know you're a little young
to be learning this stuff,
216
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:04,813
but I'm gonna teach you
how to make soup,
217
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:06,439
and you are gonna love it.
218
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:08,274
And look what we have here.
219
00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:10,735
We have a carrot
and it's a little-bitty baby,
220
00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:12,237
just like you.
221
00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:14,989
- Isn't that cute?
222
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:20,912
Both wearing bandannas
‘cause they're bald.
223
00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:24,541
- | only did this
‘cause | thought
Gabby was watching.
224
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,752
Here, take this thing
off my hands.
225
00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:29,879
- Ha! Fine.
226
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,798
[bell rings]
Baby up!
227
00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:33,216
is
228
00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:37,387
[upbeat music]
229
00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:41,266
[baby crying]
230
00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:42,809
- Bobbie, where's
the baby?
231
00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:44,769
Bobbie!
232
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,647
- Oh. I--I'm sorry.
233
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:50,150
[chuckles]
Had my earplugs in.
234
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:52,360
[baby crying]
You need me?
235
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:54,696
- No, but we have
to find the baby.
236
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:56,781
Whoever has her
is doing a terrible job.
237
00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:58,491
- Well, | disagree.
238
00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:02,287
| think the one
who has her
is a total genius.
239
00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:06,291
[baby crying]
240
00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:08,42
- This is not OK.
241
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,254
- Oh, she's fine.
242
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:14,424
The only problem
is the drawer
isn't soundproof.
243
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:18,261
| was gonna get Takoda
to check on it and fix it.
244
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:21,389
But what are
the chances I'll ever put
another baby in there?
245
00:11:23,57 --> 00:11:25,226
- | mean we're supposed
to be proving that
246
00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:26,769
we know how to handle a baby.
247
00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:29,272
- Newsflash, it's a doll.
248
00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:32,650
Oh, remember this
from high school?
249
00:11:32,734 --> 00:11:34,694
Think fast!
[screams]
250
00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:38,740
[laughs]
That was so wrong.
251
00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:40,867
- What happened?
| heard a scream.
252
00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:42,35
Is the baby OK?
253
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:44,871
- Oh, she's fine.
Just a little low on oil.
254
00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:48,41
- [laughs] She's kidding.
255
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:51,336
| was screaming
because | finally
got to hold the baby.
256
00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:54,380
- Aw. I'm just--
I'm so relieved that
you guys are taking this
257
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:56,883
seriously because it is
really important to me
258
00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,426
that you get a good grade.
259
00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:00,678
- Good grade?
What do you mean?
260
00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:01,763
- Oh, didn't | tell you?
261
00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:04,474
No.
[chuckles] Duh.
Mommy brain.
262
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:09,771
No, see, the app
has a program
that gathers information
263
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:12,607
from the baby's sensors
on how often it's held
264
00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:14,275
and how long it takes
to change it
265
00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:15,735
or soothe it, you know,
that kind of thing.
266
00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:18,571
And then at the end
of the night,
you get a grade.
267
00:12:18,655 --> 00:12:21,658
- Oh. [chuckles]
Hear that, Bobbie?
268
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:24,202
We're gonna
get graded. [chuckles]
269
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,704
Lucky you're a genius!
270
00:12:28,81 --> 00:12:30,500
- So would | get credit
for playing with a baby
271
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,670
if |, like, | don't know,
tossed it in the air?
272
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,964
- At this age?
God, no.
273
00:12:36,47 --> 00:12:38,341
- Oh. [chuckles]
274
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:40,927
|! mean, what if | put it
in the filing cabinet
275
00:12:41,10 --> 00:12:42,53
under B for baby?
276
00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:44,681
- Oh. [chuckles]
277
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,99
[laughter]
278
00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:49,352
- Oh, gosh,
| needed that laugh.
279
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:52,272
It is just so nice
to be around adults. Ugh!
280
00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:53,398
- Oh, yeah.
281
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:57,610
- Well, | can see that
she is in good hands,
so have fun.
282
00:12:57,694 --> 00:12:58,903
- Yeah.
283
00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:01,948
- | want a new partner
for this project.
284
00:13:02,31 --> 00:13:05,159
[downbeat music]
285
00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:07,578
- So we're
getting graded.
That's fine.
286
00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:09,372
| mean, that baby
couldn't have
been in there
287
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,708
more than five, ten,
288
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,293
45 minutes.
289
00:13:14,43 --> 00:13:15,837
- OK, we'll just have to be
290
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,589
really, really good
from now on.
291
00:13:18,673 --> 00:13:22,93
So, and | can't believe
| have to say this,
292
00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:25,179
no more chucking the baby
across the room.
293
00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:26,431
OK.
Good.
294
00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:27,515
That's good.
295
00:13:27,598 --> 00:13:28,850
[baby crying]
Ah.
296
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:31,60
- Bad. That's bad.
What'd you do?
297
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,478
- What'd / do?
298
00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:34,814
You're stressing me out
and the baby's
picking up on it.
299
00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:35,898
- Well, calm down.
300
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:37,191
- Well, that's hard to do
when you're yelling at me!
301
00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:38,568
- I'm not yelling!
302
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:41,404
I'm not yelling,
I'm just--
take its clothes off.
303
00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:42,989
Maybe there's
an off switch.
304
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:44,949
- Ooh, ooh.
305
00:13:45,33 --> 00:13:46,617
One of the ways
to soothe a baby
306
00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:48,911
is to mimic the motion
and sound of the womb.
307
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:50,663
- Seriously?
308
00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:53,41
Go for it, Professor.
309
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:57,795
- Whoa!
310
00:13:57,879 --> 00:14:02,133
Whoa, whoa!
311
00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:08,723
Whoa!
[baby crying]
312
00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:10,683
- It's working.
It's working.
313
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:14,62
- Ooh, ooh.
314
00:14:14,145 --> 00:14:16,22
- Was that the womb
or Sea World?
315
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:20,526
- See, this is why
we take it seriously.
316
00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:23,446
Oh, the baby is caught
on my hair.
317
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:24,530
What?
Oh, oh.
318
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:27,492
She's caught in my hair.
Help! Ow, ow!
Get it off of me!
319
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:28,659
I'm trying.
Get it off of me!
320
00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:31,579
Oh, no, you're
pulling my hair!
[baby crying]
321
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:33,623
- What the heck are
you ladies doing in here?
322
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:36,376
- Baby fight club.
What does it look like?
323
00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:38,669
- May I?
324
00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:40,963
Gladly.
[baby crying]
325
00:14:41,47 --> 00:14:43,174
- Aw, what's the matter,
little baby?
326
00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:45,635
Why you crying?
327
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:49,55
[singing in Lakota]
328
00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:51,224
[baby cooing]
What the heck?
329
00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:56,479
- [singing in Lakota]
330
00:14:57,980 --> 00:15:00,358
- Is there anything
you can't fix?
331
00:15:01,192 --> 00:15:05,279
- Well, | do have four kids
and an awesome voice.
332
00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:09,75
- | want to thank you all
so much
333
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:10,618
for looking after
little Erasmus.
334
00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:14,747
- Who?
335
00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:16,958
- The self-aware android
in "Dune"
336
00:15:17,41 --> 00:15:19,544
who learned what it meant
to be human and care.
337
00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:21,712
Exquisitely appropriate.
338
00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:26,968
- Sometimes the way
you use words
just chaps my cheeks.
339
00:15:27,969 --> 00:15:30,972
| have a feeling
your cheeks
are chapped all the time.
340
00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:39,147
- Anytime you need me,
Gabby, I'm there.
341
00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:41,649
It was nice holding
a little one again.
342
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,317
I'm gonna call my wife
343
00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:46,237
and see if she forgot
what labor feels like.
344
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:49,949
- OK, | can't stand
the suspense.
345
00:15:50,32 --> 00:15:52,34
How did we do
with little Uranius?
346
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:55,163
- OK, well, let's see
if this village
347
00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:57,582
is qualified to raise a baby.
348
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:00,835
- So what?
Did we do bad?
349
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:02,962
- You gota 93.
350
00:16:03,45 --> 00:16:05,423
- Oh, a 93?
A minus!
351
00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:06,841
Come on!
352
00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:10,887
- It's good.
It's really good.
353
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:13,389
- Yes, | knew it. Ow!
354
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:14,891
- I'm happy, too,
but don't touch me.
355
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,225
- OK.
356
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,102
What are you doing?
I'm giving you the baby.
357
00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:19,896
| should never be a mother.
358
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:23,316
[downbeat music]
359
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:25,318
is
360
00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:30,239
[knock at door]
It's open.
361
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:33,910
- Hey, Gabby.
362
00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:37,497
You forgot your tips
from the bar and,
363
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:39,457
oh, yeah, your baby.
364
00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:43,02
- It's not a baby.
365
00:16:43,85 --> 00:16:46,172
It's a pending charge
on my credit card
| plan to dispute.
366
00:16:48,07 --> 00:16:50,51
- We don't understand
why you're so upset.
367
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:51,385
- Yeah, we passed
your test.
368
00:16:51,469 --> 00:16:52,970
- | know, | know.
369
00:16:53,54 --> 00:16:56,766
You guys got a 93
and | only gota 71.
370
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,684
- When did you get a grade?
371
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:02,21
Wait, how long have
you had this thing?
372
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:03,648
- Three days.
373
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:06,400
And 71 was my best score.
374
00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:08,27
See, | was hoping
that the app would
375
00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:09,403
give you
a lousy score, too.
376
00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:10,947
So then | would know
that it was defective.
377
00:17:11,30 --> 00:17:12,31
But nope.
378
00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:13,282
It's just me.
379
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,117
- No, no, no, no
no, it's not you.
380
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,744
The app is defective.
381
00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:19,914
There's no way in the world
we should have gotten a 93.
382
00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:22,250
| left that baby
in the drawer
for 30 minutes.
383
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:25,670
- Yeah, and then she
winged it across
the room to me.
384
00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:27,04
And when it got caught
on my hair,
385
00:17:27,88 --> 00:17:28,881
she just grabbed it
and ripped it away.
386
00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:30,299
- God.
387
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:31,884
- Yeah, yeah,
if that app was good,
388
00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:33,844
they'd have
called the cops on us.
389
00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:35,54
- Oh, great.
390
00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:37,557
Now how am | supposed to know
if I'm gonna be a good mother?
391
00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:40,977
- Hmm, | don't know.
Let me think.
392
00:17:41,60 --> 00:17:42,728
| Know. Have a baby!
393
00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:46,357
- No, | need to know first.
394
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:49,944
| have to know that | am
not gonna be like my mother.
395
00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:53,447
- Oh, honey, that's
not gonna happen.
396
00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:55,408
Just the fact that
you're worrying about it
397
00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:57,618
is a sign that
it probably won't.
398
00:17:57,702 --> 00:17:58,786
Probably won't.
Yeah.
399
00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:01,38
- Which means it might.
400
00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:02,790
- Gabby, listen to me.
401
00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:05,251
| also have a very
challenging mother,
402
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:07,920
so | understand
what you're feeling.
403
00:18:08,04 --> 00:18:09,130
- Oh, really?
404
00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:11,674
Did your mother
steal a dog
405
00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:13,92
from the people
around the block
406
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,594
and give it to you
for your birthday?
407
00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:18,848
Just to have them
take it back
the first time you walked it?
408
00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:22,101
And then have
all the people
on your street
409
00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:26,689
put a sign
on your lawn that said
“caution, dog stealer"?
410
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:32,695
- No, but she
was emotionally
distant sometimes.
411
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:34,655
- God, how do you cope?
412
00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:37,867
- Here's the point
I'm trying to make.
413
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,869
OK? You already
learned what not
414
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,370
to do when you
become a mom.
415
00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:45,541
- But what if | never
learn that other part?
416
00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:48,377
You Know, what
you're supposed to do.
417
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,546
- Honey, you don't
learn that part.
418
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:52,06
You feel it.
419
00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:55,509
- Well, Bobbie,
| don't trust
myself to feel something
420
00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:57,553
that | have
never experienced.
421
00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:01,98
- You know what?
Maybe she's right.
422
00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:02,975
Maybe she doesn't need
to have a baby.
423
00:19:03,59 --> 00:19:04,310
What?
Yeah.
424
00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:05,478
- You're not serious,
are you?
425
00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:07,688
- Oh, well, | mean,
it's a big deal.
426
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:11,484
Like | always say,
better safe than sorry,
right, Gabby?
427
00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:12,860
- | guess, yep.
428
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:16,864
- So we don't need this
anymore. [sighs]
429
00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:18,115
What do you want me to do?
430
00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:20,117
Put it in the trash?
Or do you recycle?
431
00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:21,827
- What?
432
00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:22,953
- | mean, it's not like
433
00:19:23,37 --> 00:19:25,122
we can take an ad out
and say we want
to sell a baby.
434
00:19:26,40 --> 00:19:27,249
Right, right.
Yeah.
435
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:28,334
- Yeah.
436
00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:29,710
Too bad it doesn't
have any organs
437
00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:31,504
that we could sell
on the black market.
438
00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:35,800
- What is wrong with you?
439
00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:37,218
- OK. No, no, no.
440
00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:39,387
l-| see what you're doing
and you know,
it's not gonna work.
441
00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:41,389
Do whatever with that doll.
442
00:19:41,472 --> 00:19:43,808
Because you know what?
| don't feel anything.
443
00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:45,685
- OK, well,
I'll just put it
out on the curb.
444
00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:46,811
- OK.
445
00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:47,895
- Somebody will take it
446
00:19:47,978 --> 00:19:50,523
or a dog will think
it's a chew toy
or something.
447
00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:52,566
Come on, Isabella.
Really?
448
00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:54,568
A doggy chew toy,
but I'm the sicko?
449
00:19:55,653 --> 00:19:58,30
[baby crying]
450
00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:02,576
- Oh, stop! Come back.
451
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:03,661
Give her to me.
452
00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:06,414
OK. Oh, there, there.
453
00:20:06,497 --> 00:20:09,250
Gabby's here. Yeah.
[baby cooing]
454
00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:12,128
I'm not gonna let
that bad lady hurt you.
455
00:20:13,03 --> 00:20:16,549
- You see that?
You felt what to do.
456
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:18,968
Those were the natural
reactions of a great mom.
457
00:20:19,51 --> 00:20:21,804
- Don't throw the baby out
is a pretty low bar, Bobbie.
458
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:22,930
- OK, yeah.
459
00:20:24,56 --> 00:20:27,101
- But your instinct
was to protect the baby.
460
00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:28,602
OK? Would your mother
have done that?
461
00:20:29,437 --> 00:20:32,314
- | want to believe you.
| really do.
462
00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:34,900
But it is just So scary.
463
00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:37,653
| don't Know why people
put themselves through this.
464
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:38,988
- Mama.
465
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:41,615
- What? Say that again.
466
00:20:41,699 --> 00:20:42,700
- Mama.
467
00:20:42,783 --> 00:20:44,952
- [gasps] Did you
hear that?
468
00:20:45,35 --> 00:20:46,579
She called me Mama.
469
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,289
Aw.
470
00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:49,957
- Well, | guess
you got your answer.
471
00:20:50,40 --> 00:20:52,418
Mm.
That was crazy timing.
472
00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:54,378
Do you think it
did that deliberately?
473
00:20:57,06 --> 00:20:58,674
It saved itself.
474
00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:01,302
- [babbling indistinctly]
475
00:21:01,385 --> 00:21:03,262
- All right, Gabby,
we're out of here.
476
00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:05,139
- | don't think
she's listening.
477
00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:06,599
- Good.
478
00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:08,267
Bobbie?
Yo.
479
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:09,351
- My tips.
480
00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:12,354
- Oh. Got them right here.
481
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:14,148
- I'm gonna need those.
482
00:21:15,65 --> 00:21:16,859
I'm gonna be a single mom.
483
00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:19,236
- You might want
to get two jobs.
484
00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:22,740
[upbeat music]
485
00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:24,700
is
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