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1
00:00:05,297 --> 00:00:07,257
| picked up your order
from the printers.
2
00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:09,968
Oh, the anniversary flyer.
Let me see.
3
00:00:12,304 --> 00:00:14,348
Oh, it looks great!
4
00:00:14,431 --> 00:00:15,766
What the heck?
5
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,184
He only gave us one.
6
00:00:17,643 --> 00:00:19,269
| only ordered one.
7
00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:22,481
This is for the regulars,
and they know where to look.
8
00:00:23,23 --> 00:00:24,566
The anniversary party is on?
9
00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:26,818
| just heard Tall Kathy
talking to Short Kathy
about it.
10
00:00:26,902 --> 00:00:27,903
It's On.
11
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:29,196
Yes!
12
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:30,989
Oh, Izzy, you are
going to love this.
13
00:00:31,73 --> 00:00:34,826
We have a raffle and karaoke,
and there's a roast.
14
00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:36,78
Who gets roasted?
15
00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:37,287
The regulars.
16
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,873
Every year, Daddy would emcee,
and he loved them so much
17
00:00:39,957 --> 00:00:42,167
that he'd just rip them
to shreds.
18
00:00:43,85 --> 00:00:46,88
He's like Joan Rivers and Don
Rickles just rolled into one.
19
00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:48,799
You know, he'd be all like,
zing, zing, zingity-zing!
20
00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:52,970
OK, the bar is
absolutely buzzing
21
00:00:53,53 --> 00:00:54,721
about the anniversary party.
22
00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:55,973
But who's going to emcee?
23
00:00:56,56 --> 00:00:57,975
Happy left some really
big shoes to fill.
24
00:00:58,58 --> 00:00:59,726
I've got somebody in mind.
25
00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:02,896
They know the tavern,
naturally funny,
26
00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:05,65
and they have a gorgeous mane
of red hair.
27
00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:08,860
Oh, Bobbie,
I'm flattered,
28
00:01:08,944 --> 00:01:10,654
but | don't think
| need to dye my hair.
29
00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:14,116
I'm talking about me,
ya hockey puck.
30
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:15,409
Zing, zing!
31
00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:16,910
Oh, I'm sorry.
32
00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:19,830
| just was confused because
I'm the obvious choice.
33
00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:22,541
You really think
you're the obvious choice
34
00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:24,334
to replace my dad?
35
00:01:24,459 --> 00:01:25,919
(CHUCKLES) My mistake.
36
00:01:26,03 --> 00:01:28,880
| thought we were going off
comedic talent, not nepotism.
37
00:01:28,964 --> 00:01:30,48
Zing, zing.
38
00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:31,842
Oh, OK.
39
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:34,761
Maybe we just take it
down a notch.
40
00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:36,513
Happy you always said
that if anyone thought
41
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:37,764
they were funnier
than him,
42
00:01:37,848 --> 00:01:40,434
they could challenge him
for the job.
43
00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:42,394
That would be up a notch.
44
00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:45,22
| live for drama.
45
00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:47,149
You know what?
46
00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:48,233
Game on.
47
00:01:48,317 --> 00:01:49,610
Oh, all right.
48
00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:52,321
Challenge accepted.
49
00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:54,698
| have a bad feeling
about this.
50
00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:57,159
Oh, don't worry.
51
00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:58,619
We'll still
be friends, right?
52
00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:00,329
Yeah,
this is just two friends
53
00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:01,830
having a friendly competition.
54
00:02:01,997 --> 00:02:03,749
Two funny ladies
being funny.
55
00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:05,334
It'll be great.
56
00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:06,918
And Emmett and Takoda
can judge.
57
00:02:07,02 --> 00:02:08,03
I'm already bored.
58
00:02:08,86 --> 00:02:09,713
Wake me up
when there's drama.
59
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:16,11
Sometimes it feels
like a big ol’ fight
60
00:02:16,94 --> 00:02:17,929
To get through the day
61
00:02:18,13 --> 00:02:19,973
And sleep on
through the night
62
00:02:20,57 --> 00:02:22,59
But here
you'll find a place
63
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:25,562
That'll surely
lift your spirits
64
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:30,567
You belong
at Happy's Place
65
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:32,694
Boy, it smells good
in here.
66
00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:34,363
Must be
the grease cleaner.
67
00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:38,75
Highly toxic with just a touch
of lemon scent.
68
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:41,828
Have | ever told you
how valuable you are?
69
00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:43,955
Once. Just now.
What do you want?
70
00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:47,292
Want? Me?
71
00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:48,669
| want for nothing.
72
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:52,839
OK, | want you to promise me
that you'll vote for me
73
00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:53,965
‘cause | want to be the emcee
74
00:02:54,49 --> 00:02:55,175
at the anniversary party.
75
00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:56,843
Mm-hmm. No.
76
00:02:57,10 --> 00:03:00,13
Come on, Emmett,
what's the big deal?
77
00:03:00,97 --> 00:03:03,350
| realize you don't know
anything about judging
a talent contest.
78
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:08,230
The decision should be made
on talent and talent alone.
79
00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:10,148
And that's what
America expects,
80
00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:12,734
and that's what
America deserves.
81
00:03:14,945 --> 00:03:17,739
2:03 and Emmett
has lost his mind.
82
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:20,826
| thought you were looking
forward to this competition.
83
00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:22,452
Only if | win.
84
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,996
Do you have any idea why
nobody ever challenged Daddy?
85
00:03:25,80 --> 00:03:27,82
‘Cause they didn't
want to get fired?
86
00:03:27,249 --> 00:03:30,836
No, 'cause he was the heart
and soul of this place.
87
00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:32,796
That's when he let it shine.
88
00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,965
| want people to think of me
the same way.
89
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,50
Then win the damn thing.
90
00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:39,553
Winning doesn't mean anything
if it's not fair and square.
91
00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:41,96
I'm not going to take
that away from you.
92
00:03:41,513 --> 00:03:42,556
Fine.
93
00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:45,267
2:04, Emmett turned
into a traitor.
94
00:03:47,60 --> 00:03:48,770
2:04?
95
00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:50,188
Time for my break.
96
00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:57,529
So how's prepping
for the big showdown
with Gabby going?
97
00:03:57,612 --> 00:03:58,739
It's hard to tell.
98
00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:01,324
These walls may talk,
but they sure don't laugh.
99
00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:03,660
Hey.
100
00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:07,247
| just told two people
at the bar a funny story,
101
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,541
and they said, and | quote--
102
00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:12,753
(LAUGHING)
103
00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:22,596
Well, I'm so glad you're
into the competition, Gabby.
104
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:24,431
Me, too.
Hm, really?
105
00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:25,557
Oh, yeah.
106
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:28,602
| said something to Isabella,
and she laughed so hard
107
00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:30,479
that she smashed her head
on the desk.
108
00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:34,858
Ow?
109
00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:38,653
Yeah, well, | better get back
out there, you know?
110
00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:40,447
Oh, what's that now?
111
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:42,491
They're calling me
the new Happy.
112
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,994
Oh, I'm coming, Tall Kathy.
113
00:04:46,77 --> 00:04:47,704
Hold your horses.
114
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:52,42
I'm kind of jealous
of this competition you're in.
115
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:55,45
It reminds me of when | was
on the debate team in college.
116
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,839
Not to brag,
but we were undefeated.
117
00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:00,217
That is bragging.
118
00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:04,971
And very interesting.
119
00:05:05,55 --> 00:05:07,265
| actually know of a way
that you can be
120
00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:08,350
part of the competition.
121
00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:09,893
How fun.
122
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:11,102
What do you need me to do?
123
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,271
Help me destroy Gabby.
124
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:17,484
OK.
125
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:20,487
Want to help, but not sure
I'm comfortable
destroying someone.
126
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:22,405
No, | just want you
to help me with my act.
127
00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:23,615
Oh.
128
00:05:23,698 --> 00:05:25,200
Oh, my gosh, of course.
129
00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:27,202
This is exactly like
speech and debate.
130
00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:28,829
Oh, man, I'm so excited.
131
00:05:28,912 --> 00:05:31,122
Let's make those
Barnard girls cry!
132
00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:35,210
Oh, OK.
133
00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:36,962
Well, | have some
material ready.
134
00:05:37,45 --> 00:05:38,171
It just needs
a little polishing.
135
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:39,714
Great.
Persuade me.
136
00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:40,841
| mean, make me laugh.
137
00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:42,467
Yeah.
138
00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:44,344
All right,
so I'm gonna start off
139
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:45,595
by introducing myself,
140
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:46,930
and then I'm gonna do
the crowd work.
141
00:05:47,13 --> 00:05:48,348
Oh, love that.
142
00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:49,683
Yeah.
143
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:52,686
And then I'm gonna say,
nice hat.
144
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:57,941
And then I'm gonna
go into my hat jokes.
145
00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:00,485
Who are you saying
"nice hat" to?
146
00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:02,696
Emmett.
I'm gonna give
Emmett this hat.
147
00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:07,33
You think Emmett is going
to put on a funny hat?
148
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:11,37
OK, maybe | get rid
of all the hat jokes.
149
00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:15,83
I'm just gonna go
into my routine, OK?
150
00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:16,334
So excited.
151
00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:18,295
OK.
(LAUGHS)
152
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:21,298
Two bartenders are fighting
over what the best drink is,
153
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,382
and one says it's--
154
00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:24,92
Bobbie, look up.
What?
155
00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:25,760
Well, you want to look
at the audience.
156
00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:27,95
Oh, right.
157
00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:28,889
OK.
158
00:06:29,97 --> 00:06:31,850
Tell your monkey that's
how we make it in New York!
159
00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:38,148
Come on.
160
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,858
That's hilarious.
161
00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:42,986
| feel like you
left out the middle.
162
00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:45,655
You made me look up.
163
00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:49,117
What's the matter with me?
164
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,410
I'm funny.
165
00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:53,288
| Know a lot of people
say they are, and they're not,
but | am.
166
00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:55,457
| Know what's going on.
167
00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:58,668
This means a lot to you,
and you're trying too hard.
168
00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:00,45
Yeah, you're right.
169
00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:01,254
| gotta loosen up.
170
00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:04,299
Same thing would happen to my
friend Kristi on debate team.
171
00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:06,801
Yeah?
She was naturally persuasive.
172
00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:08,845
She convinced me
to get a mullet once.
173
00:07:10,96 --> 00:07:12,307
But put her behind a podium,
and she'd freeze.
174
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,767
| don't want to freeze.
175
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:15,101
You won't.
176
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,687
Not with a three-time
collegiate champ
177
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:18,772
in your corner.
178
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:21,399
Now give me those cards.
179
00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:23,818
You don't need these
or this silly hat.
180
00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:27,280
Think | can get my
money back for that hat?
181
00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:32,953
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
182
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,998
Hey, Takoda.
183
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,168
Need any help?
184
00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:41,670
Sure, Gabby.
Can you help me chop?
185
00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:42,796
Yeah.
186
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:44,89
| love chopping.
187
00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:45,173
Chop, chop.
188
00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:46,716
Chop o'clock.
189
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:47,884
On it.
190
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,555
You know, carrots can
improve your eyesight.
191
00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:54,516
And your soup.
192
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,60
So true.
193
00:07:58,395 --> 00:07:59,813
Question for you.
194
00:08:01,64 --> 00:08:03,191
Are you as worried about
our friendship as | am?
195
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:06,236
Why would you ask that?
196
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:07,737
Well, I'm sorry, | just--
197
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,280
| have to be honest.
198
00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:10,949
We used to be solid.
199
00:08:11,32 --> 00:08:12,242
Like a rock.
200
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:13,952
Or Emmett's forearms.
201
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:18,915
But lately, I'm just not sure
where your loyalty lies.
202
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,795
| apologize.
203
00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:25,255
Maybe I've been distant.
204
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,173
My wife says
| do that sometimes.
205
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:29,843
Well, don't sweat it.
206
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,511
| Know you've got a lot
on your plate.
207
00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:33,722
Even more now that I've done
all this chopping.
208
00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:35,348
(LAUGHS)
209
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:37,58
Everything will be fine
once you just
210
00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:38,768
vote to make me the new emcee.
211
00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:42,230
No, that wouldn't be fair
to you or Bobbie.
212
00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:45,442
Well, it would be
if Bobbie didn't know.
213
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,277
Aha!
214
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,820
Busted!
215
00:08:49,29 --> 00:08:50,613
| can't believe
you're trying to get
216
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:54,34
Takoda to compromise his
sacred duty as comedy judge.
217
00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:55,702
Where's your integrity?
218
00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:58,747
It ran away with yours.
219
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,123
To Hypocrite Island.
220
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:04,210
This is just like when you
asked Emmett for his vote.
221
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:05,962
How did you know that?
222
00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:08,798
| didn't, until just now!
223
00:09:10,50 --> 00:09:12,385
Does she know that
you've got Isabella
to help coach you?
224
00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:13,470
(GASPS)
225
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,13
Do you know you're not part
of this conversation?
226
00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:19,309
Oh, so you couldn't
go at it alone, huh?
227
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:22,62
| must really
have you rattled.
228
00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:23,563
| don't rattle.
229
00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:24,898
| roll.
230
00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:33,364
Can you believe she
went to Isabella for help?
231
00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:34,657
How pathetic.
232
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,327
We can't let this
party divide us.
233
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,788
It's the opposite of what
Happy would have wanted.
234
00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:41,664
Yes, of course.
Exactly. Well said.
235
00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:46,503
Come on.
236
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,421
A French fry joke?
237
00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:50,48
(CHUCKLES)
238
00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:51,466
Oh, shoot, it's good.
239
00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:55,678
Did you hear any of that?
240
00:09:55,887 --> 00:09:58,14
No, unlike you,
| don't press my ears
241
00:09:58,98 --> 00:09:59,641
to unsanitary surfaces.
242
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:02,936
Isabella is in there
helping Bobbie.
243
00:10:03,19 --> 00:10:04,270
OK, that is not playing fair.
244
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:05,855
And you're telling me
this because?
245
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,440
Because | know
that you used to help
246
00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:08,650
Happy with his material.
247
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:10,527
In secret.
248
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,570
He told me he would
take that to the grave.
249
00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:14,948
How do you know that?
250
00:10:15,31 --> 00:10:16,783
Are you doing seances again?
251
00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:18,451
Yeah, but that's not
how | know.
252
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:23,957
There was a certain Steve-ness
to Happy's roasts, you know.
253
00:10:24,40 --> 00:10:27,127
Good-natured with
just a dash of harm.
254
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:29,129
I'm flattered you
noticed my duality.
255
00:10:31,47 --> 00:10:32,382
So will you help me?
256
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:33,508
It depends.
257
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:34,759
Why is this
important to you?
258
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:39,472
Because | have never won
a competition
in my whole life.
259
00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:42,392
| used to think it was
because I'm not competitive,
260
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,435
but my mom told me
it's because | suck.
261
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,733
You Know, | have
never made her laugh.
262
00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:52,360
Not once.
263
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:54,988
I'm in.
264
00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:57,365
Yes!
265
00:10:57,448 --> 00:10:59,159
OK, so | thought | would start
with just a little bit--
266
00:10:59,242 --> 00:11:00,493
Uh, uh, uh.
267
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,539
If we're working together,
268
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:06,166
there is one rule.
269
00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:10,86
You have to do
exactly what | say.
270
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,713
| mean, is that necessary?
271
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,381
You want to be a winner?
Yes.
272
00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:14,507
Then hear and obey.
273
00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:15,884
Oh.
274
00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:17,677
Give me your first joke.
Oh.
275
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:18,970
Yes, sir.
276
00:11:19,53 --> 00:11:20,597
(CHUCKLES)
| started bartending--
277
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,98
Too slow.
278
00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:23,349
Pace.
279
00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:24,434
Again.
280
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:25,518
| started
bartending here--
281
00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:26,644
Too fast.
282
00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:28,438
Where is the rhythm?
283
00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:30,690
Again.
| started bartending--
284
00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:31,900
Again.
| started bartending--
285
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:33,26
Again!
| started bartending here--
286
00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:34,861
Again!
Higher.
287
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,70
| started bartending--
Lower.
288
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:37,280
| started bartending--
Lower.
289
00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:38,615
| started bartending here--
Physically lower.
290
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:39,991
| started bartending here--
Lower, lower!
291
00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:45,747
Bah bah bah bah bah
bah bah bah bah?
292
00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:47,415
Bah bah bah.
293
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:48,583
Bah bah.
294
00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:51,961
(LAUGHING)
295
00:11:52,45 --> 00:11:53,87
Hilarious.
296
00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:56,07
What's with the code?
297
00:11:56,90 --> 00:11:57,967
You worried about somebody
stealing your material?
298
00:11:58,51 --> 00:11:59,177
Oh, of course not.
299
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:00,720
We're all family here.
300
00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:02,347
Hi, guys.
301
00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:07,727
| don't need to
see your "jokes."
302
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,687
I've been working with Bobbie
on her delivery,
303
00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:11,606
and she's got this in the bag.
304
00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:13,566
Oh, no,
| forgot all the times
305
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:15,777
Bobbie told stories
SO uproarious,
306
00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:17,153
we laughed till we cried.
307
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,822
Oh, wait,
that never happened.
308
00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:22,158
Have you forgotten
that you're dealing
309
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:23,785
with a psychology major?
310
00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:26,329
| Know that confident facade
is covering the fact
311
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:28,957
that you're actually
shaking in your boots.
312
00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:31,00
| don't wear boots.
313
00:12:31,84 --> 00:12:32,418
They're germ buckets.
314
00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:38,675
Let's put a little wager
on who's going to win this.
315
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,677
Brilliant idea.
316
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,679
You should have to put your
money where your mouth is.
317
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,347
Great.
What's the bet?
318
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:46,99
That's it.
319
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:49,394
If Bobbie wins,
you have to put your money
320
00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:51,646
where your mouth is
321
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:54,23
and kiss a dollar bill.
322
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,442
(TRILLING)
323
00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:57,819
Mwah.
324
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:01,739
I'll take that bet.
325
00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:04,117
‘Cause the only thing
my confidence is covering
326
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,952
is more confidence.
327
00:13:06,77 --> 00:13:07,120
Mm-hmm.
328
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:10,206
Professor Reese would
call that deflecting.
329
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:13,167
I'm afraid to ask,
but what if Gabby wins?
330
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:16,754
When Gabby wins,
Isabella cannot mention
331
00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:18,715
having gone to college
332
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:22,635
for a whole entire day.
333
00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:25,305
You two are out for blood.
334
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:27,557
Game on!
335
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:29,559
Yeah, you're running.
336
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,145
You're running
because you're scared.
337
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:34,897
I'm not the first person
to run when you were
behind them.
338
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:36,733
Oh, hilarious.
339
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:37,817
Enough!
340
00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:40,69
This competition is
tearing us apart.
341
00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:41,279
| agree.
342
00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:42,864
And it's her fault.
343
00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:45,908
You know, when you point
your finger at somebody,
344
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:47,744
you have three fingers
pointing back at you.
345
00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:50,955
Oh, wow, she's right.
346
00:13:51,39 --> 00:13:52,457
Look at that, huh.
347
00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:55,251
In the spirit of Happy's
Place, can't one of you
348
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:56,878
just step aside
for the other one?
349
00:13:57,128 --> 00:13:59,797
Aw,
that's a lovely suggestion.
350
00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:00,923
How about it, Gabby?
351
00:14:01,07 --> 00:14:03,217
Are you ready to step aside?
352
00:14:04,302 --> 00:14:06,929
Oh, Bobbie,
you know that normally
353
00:14:07,13 --> 00:14:09,390
| would do anything for you.
354
00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:14,62
But the truth is, there's
a lot of things | can't do.
355
00:14:14,145 --> 00:14:15,146
Parallel park.
356
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:18,858
Anything tennis.
357
00:14:21,152 --> 00:14:24,655
But every night, | stay up
and | watch those late night
358
00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:27,200
TV hosts,
and | whisper to myself--
359
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:30,578
(WHISPERING)
Gabby, you could do that.
360
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:36,459
And if | could do that here,
well, | mean,
361
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:40,755
it would just validate
my entire existence.
362
00:14:42,423 --> 00:14:44,550
Bobbie,
| guess it's up to you.
363
00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:46,260
Oh, Gabby.
364
00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:49,55
| have to say, no.
365
00:14:51,99 --> 00:14:54,143
Look, this night always
belonged to--
366
00:14:55,937 --> 00:14:57,146
our daddy.
367
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:01,234
Isabella never
got to see him shine.
368
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:03,611
But maybe, just maybe,
through me,
369
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:07,657
she'll be able
to get a glimpse
of his light.
370
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,827
Daddy, is that you?
371
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,245
Oh, come on.
372
00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:18,543
This is gonna be
an impossible decision.
373
00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:20,420
No.
374
00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:21,587
No, it's not.
375
00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:24,298
You can't win a comedy
competition with a sob story.
376
00:15:24,382 --> 00:15:26,342
| guess it comes down to,
would you rather
377
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:29,720
see me kiss a dollar
or have an entire day
378
00:15:29,804 --> 00:15:32,640
where Isabella doesn't remind
us she's a psychology major?
379
00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:36,436
This is gonna be
an impossible decision.
380
00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:43,693
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
381
00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:47,488
Don't you think we should
be clear-headed for this?
382
00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:50,283
| asked myself
that same question.
383
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,118
| answered it
about five beers ago.
384
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:58,40
| don't feel comfortable
judging others.
385
00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:00,251
Didn't one of your great
teachers say, "Judge not,
386
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:01,502
lest ye be judged"?
387
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,129
Yeah.
388
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:05,965
He's got a lot of stuff.
389
00:16:06,48 --> 00:16:07,633
We use it as we need it.
390
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,261
Let's get this show
on the road.
391
00:16:10,344 --> 00:16:12,13
Gabby, you're up!
392
00:16:12,96 --> 00:16:13,431
OK, this is it.
393
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:14,974
| can do this.
Mm-hmm.
394
00:16:15,57 --> 00:16:16,58
You believe in me, right?
395
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:17,560
Here's what | believe.
396
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:19,812
| believe this moment
defines who you are,
397
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:23,24
and you must conquer it,
or it will conquer you.
398
00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:24,734
| believe you got one chance,
399
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:28,488
one shot to prove
you are not garbage.
400
00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:32,200
Holy crap.
401
00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:33,659
Is that from an Eminem song?
402
00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:36,579
That's how my father dropped
me off at elementary school.
403
00:16:38,206 --> 00:16:40,41
Oh, my God.
404
00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:41,751
Your dad is my mom.
405
00:16:42,627 --> 00:16:44,337
That's why | decided
to help you.
406
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:45,671
Duh.
407
00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:46,756
(MOUTHING)
408
00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:48,966
This whole thing
just makes me sad.
409
00:16:49,50 --> 00:16:50,843
I'm sorry, Emmett.
410
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:53,95
|! won't choose
between my friends.
411
00:16:56,57 --> 00:16:58,684
Speaking of choosing friends,
| pick Tall Kathy, huh?
412
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:00,770
Ever since Short Kathy
got divorced,
413
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:01,979
not fun, am | right?
414
00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:05,441
Uh-oh, she's good.
415
00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:06,984
What are you talking about?
416
00:17:07,68 --> 00:17:08,444
Emmett hasn't laughed once.
417
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:09,904
Didn't you hear
him go "pft"?
418
00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:12,990
That's Emmett's version
of rolling in the aisle.
419
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:16,786
We're not concerned with
what Gabby is doing, OK?
420
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:19,288
Our only focus is
what you'll be doing.
421
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:20,706
Oh, dang it!
422
00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:22,41
He did another "pft."
423
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:23,876
She's killing it
up there.
424
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,878
Bobbie, Bobbie, listen to me.
425
00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:27,04
Yeah?
426
00:17:27,88 --> 00:17:28,839
You're ready for this, OK?
427
00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:31,50
You just have to remember
the two things we went over
428
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,594
again and again and again
because they make
429
00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:35,12
the whole presentation work--
430
00:17:35,96 --> 00:17:38,766
emotional journey mapping
and tempo variability.
431
00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:42,103
This might be a little late
to tell you this,
432
00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:43,813
but | don't know
what that means.
433
00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:46,524
Bobbie!
434
00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:47,733
You're up!
435
00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:49,485
OK.
Crap.
436
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,286
You know, that was
a pretty cheap laugh,
437
00:17:58,369 --> 00:18:00,288
pretending you
couldn't even remember
438
00:18:00,371 --> 00:18:02,290
the name of the tavern.
439
00:18:02,999 --> 00:18:04,667
| wasn't going
for a cheap laugh.
440
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:05,835
| froze.
441
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:07,169
| actually couldn't
remember the name
442
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:08,254
of the place for a second.
443
00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:09,380
Oh, sure.
444
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:11,716
(SIGHS) Seriously.
445
00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:13,509
What's really bad, it's--
446
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,469
happens to be the same name
as my daddy.
447
00:18:17,638 --> 00:18:19,223
You might have to teach me
that little trick.
448
00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:21,642
| would love to forget
the name of my mom.
449
00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:23,185
Pft!
450
00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:25,896
Well, if we're talking
about cheap laughs,
451
00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:29,275
your nicknames for the staff
bit was low-hanging fruit.
452
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:31,902
What are you mad about?
453
00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:34,71
| didn't make
one up for you.
454
00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:35,781
What about "Red Thunder"?
455
00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:37,199
That's what you call me
around here sometimes, right?
456
00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:38,618
Pft.
457
00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:40,995
Not to your face.
458
00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:45,333
Actually,
| don't mind that one.
459
00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:49,545
When Daddy'd get mad at me,
he used to call me
"Crimson Turd."
460
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,88
Pft.
461
00:18:52,173 --> 00:18:54,800
OK, what could possibly
be taking so long?
462
00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:57,136
Gabby clearly won this,
hands down.
463
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:58,304
Oh, please.
464
00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:00,306
Insult humor is So easy.
465
00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:01,807
Where'd you get
that sweater,
466
00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:03,142
Really Old Navy?
467
00:19:05,19 --> 00:19:08,356
Hey, uh, could you both
do me a really big favor?
468
00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:09,732
Sure.
Of course.
469
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,108
Shut up.
470
00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:14,779
OK, I'm ready.
471
00:19:15,29 --> 00:19:16,947
(GRUNTS)
472
00:19:18,74 --> 00:19:20,618
(SIGHS)
This is what | think.
473
00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:23,120
Gabby, you are damn funny.
474
00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:25,289
Yeah!
Yes!
475
00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:29,710
You are now an alumni of
Who Gives a Crap University.
476
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:33,297
Thank you, Emmett.
477
00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:36,926
Um, but, you know,
478
00:19:37,09 --> 00:19:39,595
Bobbie was
kind of funny, too.
479
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:41,472
Yes, she was.
480
00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:43,182
As a matter of fact,
she was great.
481
00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:45,17
Yes! Ha-ha!
482
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:48,229
Have fun making out
with George Washington.
483
00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:51,649
Hang on, Emmett.
484
00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:52,900
| don't think | was
funnier than her.
485
00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:54,652
You weren't.
Oh.
486
00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:58,781
Or vice versa.
487
00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:00,491
See?
488
00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:02,785
This is why you should have
stopped at three beers.
489
00:20:04,245 --> 00:20:07,164
No matter how funny you two
are, you're funnier together.
490
00:20:07,248 --> 00:20:08,332
Hm.
491
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:09,875
When | look out from
the kitchen
492
00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:11,585
and you two
are behind the bar,
493
00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:15,256
all | see
are regular customers
laughing.
494
00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:18,300
| guess we do get
them going pretty good.
495
00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:20,970
And | don't freeze when
I'm with you 'cause | know
496
00:20:21,53 --> 00:20:22,722
you can make anything funny.
497
00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:25,57
Right back at you,
Red Thunder.
498
00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:26,142
(CHUCKLES)
499
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,269
You're the best,
Blonde Buzzard.
500
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:35,276
So my choice
for this year's emcee
501
00:20:36,110 --> 00:20:37,403
would be...
502
00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:40,740
both of you.
503
00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:42,867
Ugh, boo-hoo.
Lame.
504
00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:47,163
Aw, | like that.
505
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,706
What do you think, Gabby?
506
00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:50,332
What do | think?
Yeah.
507
00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:52,918
| think your dad
would be thrilled
508
00:20:53,02 --> 00:20:56,630
that it takes two funny people
to fill his shoes.
509
00:20:56,714 --> 00:20:58,48
Oh.
510
00:21:02,52 --> 00:21:03,387
OK.
511
00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:06,390
But Steve still has to kiss
the dollar bill, right?
512
00:21:06,474 --> 00:21:08,142
You know what
you can kiss?
513
00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:13,397
You are indeed
a wise judge, my friend.
514
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:15,941
Even with a buzz on.
515
00:21:16,233 --> 00:21:18,277
(LAUGHS)
516
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:19,570
ALL: Zing!
517
00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:21,614
Pft!
518
00:21:21,697 --> 00:21:24,283
(LAUGHTER)
32979
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