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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,780 --> 00:00:13,620 We'll return to Moby Dick right after these messages. 2 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:31,360 A hundred dollars a day. 3 00:00:32,439 --> 00:00:34,680 Think of all the people we could help with that money. 4 00:00:35,620 --> 00:00:36,620 What? 5 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,540 Oh, yeah. 6 00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:41,760 Ourself. 7 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:43,780 Money, money, money. 8 00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:51,780 I don't want to look at some dude's butt. 9 00:00:52,060 --> 00:00:53,460 Change it, buddy. Come on, Viva. 10 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:55,260 This song kind of rocks. 11 00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:57,900 Besides, later on... 12 00:00:58,380 --> 00:00:59,520 They show a dog mad. 13 00:01:00,340 --> 00:01:01,299 Oh, yeah. 14 00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:02,420 I'll stick around for that. 15 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:12,100 Damn it. I'm sick of seeing water in videos. 16 00:01:12,380 --> 00:01:16,520 Yeah, but this water is cool because it's, like, over by the power plant. 17 00:01:16,740 --> 00:01:19,620 Oh, yeah, yeah. Remember when we went swimming by the power plant and it's, 18 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:21,060 like, all warm and stuff? 19 00:01:21,390 --> 00:01:26,050 That was cool. No, it wasn't. Your turds were all orange for a month. And you 20 00:01:26,050 --> 00:01:28,010 got those big blisters on your nads. 21 00:01:29,010 --> 00:01:31,330 I know. That's what I'm saying. We're cool. 22 00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:35,150 Flies in the Vaseline? 23 00:01:38,350 --> 00:01:39,350 That's pretty cool. 24 00:01:39,750 --> 00:01:42,550 Yeah. Remember when we put that fly in gasoline? 25 00:01:44,570 --> 00:01:45,570 Oh, cool. 26 00:01:45,750 --> 00:01:49,810 He didn't say gasoline, buddy. He said Vaseline. 27 00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:51,750 I think that's like something different. 28 00:01:51,970 --> 00:01:53,130 I know that, you dumbass. 29 00:01:55,010 --> 00:01:56,850 Dammit, Davis, you always ruin everything. 30 00:01:57,410 --> 00:02:00,930 No, I don't. I just was saying, you know, you talk about Vaseline. Well, 31 00:02:01,030 --> 00:02:02,030 look, it's a dog nap. 32 00:02:02,250 --> 00:02:03,810 Is that what you were talking about? 33 00:02:04,030 --> 00:02:05,830 Uh, yeah, I think that was it. 34 00:02:06,250 --> 00:02:07,250 That was cool. 35 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:17,320 What I personally like about telemarketing is the give and take. 36 00:02:17,780 --> 00:02:20,260 You give them a call, and then you take their money. 37 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:22,440 Okay. 38 00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:26,780 All right, well, boys, you have the right instinct. 39 00:02:27,020 --> 00:02:30,840 You see, selling magazines is serious business. If we spend too much time 40 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:33,680 laughing on the job, well, we won't stay number one. 41 00:02:35,380 --> 00:02:36,540 Number one. 42 00:02:43,170 --> 00:02:44,410 Let's get on with your training. 43 00:02:44,950 --> 00:02:50,450 Now, the more people we call, the more magazines we can... Do you have any, 44 00:02:50,530 --> 00:02:52,590 like, adult magazines? 45 00:02:53,730 --> 00:02:55,790 Yeah, yeah. Like National Geographic. 46 00:02:56,470 --> 00:02:57,950 You dumbass. 47 00:02:58,850 --> 00:02:59,950 Sometimes they show boob. 48 00:03:00,210 --> 00:03:01,630 Let's get right down to it. 49 00:03:01,870 --> 00:03:03,310 Now, these are your scripts, boys. 50 00:03:03,610 --> 00:03:06,490 When you call a customer, don't try to get creative. 51 00:03:07,180 --> 00:03:11,720 Simply follow what's on this card. The key is to keep talking so the customer 52 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:18,260 never has an opportunity to say no. Okay, now you try it. Uh, hello, 53 00:03:18,260 --> 00:03:21,620 cut summer's name. 54 00:03:22,540 --> 00:03:28,620 This is say your name, cowling. No, stupid. Say your name. 55 00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:30,280 Uh, your name? 56 00:03:30,780 --> 00:03:35,920 Say butthead. Butthead. No, when it says say your name, you say butthead. 57 00:03:36,270 --> 00:03:39,550 Make up your mind, asswipe. Yeah, yeah. That's complicated. 58 00:03:43,530 --> 00:03:45,830 Kirk to Scotty. Kirk to Scotty. 59 00:03:46,250 --> 00:03:48,370 I need more speed, bunghole. 60 00:03:50,510 --> 00:03:52,350 Here are your numbers. I get cracking. 61 00:03:53,350 --> 00:03:54,650 He said crack. 62 00:03:55,590 --> 00:03:56,590 Yeah. 63 00:04:00,910 --> 00:04:04,430 Hello. My name is... 64 00:04:06,250 --> 00:04:07,930 I'm calling to offer a special deal. 65 00:04:08,250 --> 00:04:09,650 Uh, or something. 66 00:04:10,290 --> 00:04:14,670 Well, now, you can stop right there, fella. Whatever you're selling, I ain't 67 00:04:14,670 --> 00:04:17,029 -buying. Whoa, I got guns and ammo. 68 00:04:18,670 --> 00:04:19,850 70s are pent up. 69 00:04:21,170 --> 00:04:22,170 Guns and ammo? 70 00:04:22,830 --> 00:04:25,870 Well, old Bessie is running a little low on shells. 71 00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:28,770 I'll tell you what, sign me up for a gross. 72 00:04:30,190 --> 00:04:31,190 Gross. 73 00:04:31,810 --> 00:04:32,810 Comprende, amigo? 74 00:04:32,990 --> 00:04:34,390 A gross, that's 144. 75 00:04:40,270 --> 00:04:42,970 Who is this? 76 00:04:43,310 --> 00:04:50,170 Your name and I have a special deal for you or 77 00:04:50,170 --> 00:04:51,170 something. 78 00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:53,230 It's in my pants. 79 00:04:53,930 --> 00:04:55,490 You sicko. 80 00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,330 So cool. 81 00:05:00,210 --> 00:05:01,450 Hello? 82 00:05:02,490 --> 00:05:03,570 Hey, 83 00:05:04,570 --> 00:05:05,810 how's it going? 84 00:05:06,380 --> 00:05:07,420 Who's calling, please? 85 00:05:07,900 --> 00:05:12,040 Oh. I don't know. You must, like, have the wrong number or something. 86 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:15,000 Can I sign you up for something gross? 87 00:05:16,660 --> 00:05:17,660 Gross. 88 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:22,660 That boy is a natural. 89 00:05:23,460 --> 00:05:27,640 Hey, he's bouncing on his wiener. That's a pogo stick, dumbass. Oh, yeah. 90 00:05:30,650 --> 00:05:33,990 Hey, that looks like that dude who comes by to check the bucane. Oh, yeah, yeah. 91 00:05:34,230 --> 00:05:38,050 I saw that guy in my yard once. I thought he was a trespasser. So I 92 00:05:38,050 --> 00:05:40,910 shooting him with my BB gun. Shut up, Davis. Those pigs are doing it. 93 00:05:41,230 --> 00:05:42,550 Really? All right. 94 00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:44,610 That's cool. 95 00:05:46,130 --> 00:05:48,890 How come that pig can score and we can't? 96 00:05:50,190 --> 00:05:53,470 Well, the only reason that pig scored is because he was, like, in a video. 97 00:05:53,690 --> 00:05:54,690 Oh, yeah, yeah. 98 00:05:55,050 --> 00:05:56,050 I forgot about that. 99 00:05:56,290 --> 00:05:57,290 Yeah. 100 00:05:58,100 --> 00:06:03,200 Like, if pigs had a video, and, like, we were in that video, then, like, we 101 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:04,200 could score. 102 00:06:04,380 --> 00:06:06,060 You mean, like, with a pig? 103 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:07,560 No, dumbass. 104 00:06:07,780 --> 00:06:09,200 With a chick in the video. 105 00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:11,500 With a chicken? No, Viva. 106 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:14,920 I'm talking, like, about, like, a human chick. 107 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:17,159 What's that? 108 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:18,420 Just a regular chick. 109 00:06:19,020 --> 00:06:21,140 Oh, I see. 110 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:24,300 That's pretty cool. 111 00:06:26,510 --> 00:06:28,230 What's the deal with this short dude? 112 00:06:28,470 --> 00:06:29,470 Yeah, really. 113 00:06:29,930 --> 00:06:32,950 Is he, like, in the band or is he just, like, some weird dude? 114 00:06:33,190 --> 00:06:36,970 Really. Like, all these videos now, they, like, just get a couple weird 115 00:06:36,970 --> 00:06:40,270 and, like, just shake the camera around and just, like, do a bunch of crap. 116 00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:41,530 Yeah. 117 00:06:41,690 --> 00:06:46,050 They need to get back to the basics, like chicks in bikinis and explosions. 118 00:06:46,570 --> 00:06:47,570 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 119 00:06:47,690 --> 00:06:50,310 Cars, like, and they're all driven by chicks in bikinis. 120 00:06:51,550 --> 00:06:52,590 It's a big thing, yeah. 121 00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:53,830 Yeah. 122 00:06:54,650 --> 00:06:56,590 Now, that's what I call a buzz clip. 123 00:07:01,690 --> 00:07:04,310 Uh, God evening. 124 00:07:04,790 --> 00:07:11,510 My name is your name, and I'm calling to offer you a special low, 125 00:07:11,690 --> 00:07:16,130 uh, interdictionary rate. A what? 126 00:07:16,530 --> 00:07:20,730 Uh, if you're a refrigerator walking... 127 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:25,160 Phones suck. 128 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:30,320 Son, you don't seem to be grasping the concept here. When you get someone on 129 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:33,200 phone, don't waste time talking about their refrigerator. 130 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:35,760 Get straight to the point of selling magazines. 131 00:07:36,460 --> 00:07:38,700 Now, your friend here is our sales leader. 132 00:07:39,140 --> 00:07:40,140 Yeah, yeah. 133 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:41,240 That would be cool. 134 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:45,080 I'm going to put this call on speakerphone so we can study his 135 00:07:45,740 --> 00:07:48,040 For horny co -eds, press 1. 136 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:54,500 For the big, busty, and beautiful line, press two. To talk to two hot women at 137 00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:55,880 once, press three. 138 00:07:56,180 --> 00:07:56,979 Yeah, yeah. 139 00:07:56,980 --> 00:07:57,980 Press me. 140 00:07:58,240 --> 00:07:59,400 I'm a sales leader. 141 00:08:00,460 --> 00:08:02,380 I'll press you, you little perp. 142 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:06,280 Uh, 143 00:08:08,060 --> 00:08:09,200 that sucked. 144 00:08:09,620 --> 00:08:10,620 Yeah, yeah. 145 00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:13,680 She was about to, like, buy lots of magazines and stuff. 146 00:08:15,740 --> 00:08:18,580 Uh, you're fucking... Cable access? 147 00:08:20,060 --> 00:08:25,240 I think 148 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:32,220 this is one of those cable access shows where you 149 00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:34,419 like call them up and they like do anything you want. 150 00:08:34,820 --> 00:08:35,820 No way, really? 151 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:37,440 Let's call her up. 152 00:08:37,820 --> 00:08:38,820 Yeah. 153 00:08:39,659 --> 00:08:42,080 Let's tell her to like shut up and like... 154 00:08:42,570 --> 00:08:44,750 Take all her clothes off and get over here right now? 155 00:08:45,410 --> 00:08:46,410 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 156 00:08:46,710 --> 00:08:48,290 She gets picked up something to eat? Yeah. 157 00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:55,530 You can tell this is like the kind of chick that's like had her tubes tied. 158 00:08:57,490 --> 00:09:00,630 How come you know this chick's had her tubes tied? 159 00:09:00,890 --> 00:09:02,250 Just look at her, Beavis. 160 00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:05,610 Oh, yeah. 161 00:09:06,750 --> 00:09:09,490 I think I'm going to go tie my tube. 162 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:12,280 Shut up, diva. 163 00:09:15,300 --> 00:09:16,360 Boy, that's music. 164 00:09:16,620 --> 00:09:18,020 What music? 165 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:20,240 Oh, yeah. 166 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:22,900 What is it? To a heart's crap? 167 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:26,100 You know, like when you're playing poker? 168 00:09:27,020 --> 00:09:28,020 Oh, yeah. 169 00:09:29,620 --> 00:09:30,680 I'm familiar with that. 170 00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:35,060 When I see this chick, there's a full house in my pants. 171 00:09:36,420 --> 00:09:37,420 Oh, yeah. 172 00:09:38,570 --> 00:09:39,810 Yeah, that was great. 173 00:09:44,690 --> 00:09:48,310 Those squares remind me of that really stupid game that all those dorks play. 174 00:09:48,670 --> 00:09:49,670 Um, chess? 175 00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:50,890 Oh, yeah. 176 00:09:52,110 --> 00:09:54,270 Doesn't even have anything to do with boobs. 177 00:09:54,710 --> 00:09:55,710 Yeah, right. 178 00:09:57,490 --> 00:09:58,490 Hey, 179 00:10:01,330 --> 00:10:03,030 what is a 357? 180 00:10:04,050 --> 00:10:08,160 Uh... That's like when someone turns all the way around in a circle, like when 181 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:09,480 they're slam dunking or something. 182 00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:11,600 I'll be damned. 183 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:14,500 I'll be damned. 184 00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:21,400 If I was a clown, I'd make it so, like, my head would explode when you pull my 185 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:24,700 finger, and all the crap would fly out of my head and, like, land on people and 186 00:10:24,700 --> 00:10:30,930 stuff. Yeah, if I was a clown, I'd go to parties and, like, eat all the cake 187 00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:32,370 and, like, take stuff home with me. 188 00:10:33,250 --> 00:10:37,010 That's what you do at parties anyways, Viva. Yeah, but I'd be a clown, you 189 00:10:37,330 --> 00:10:39,810 So, like, I'd have on these big shoes and stuff. Yeah, I'd be different. 190 00:10:41,310 --> 00:10:43,750 If I was a clown, I'd kick your ass, Viva. 191 00:10:44,730 --> 00:10:45,990 Until it's beet red. 192 00:10:46,350 --> 00:10:48,710 I'd say, look at his butt. 193 00:10:49,150 --> 00:10:53,030 Yeah, I'd like to say, thanks for coming to the show. Hope you had a good time. 194 00:10:53,150 --> 00:10:54,150 See you next time. 195 00:10:55,810 --> 00:10:56,789 Yeah. Yeah. 196 00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:57,890 That would be cool. 197 00:10:58,210 --> 00:10:59,109 Yeah, yeah. 198 00:10:59,110 --> 00:11:00,730 We'd have to work out the timing and everything. 13668