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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:10,420 All right, what's the square root of nine? 2 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:15,240 Beavis and Butthead, do you know the answer? 3 00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:21,380 Can you, like, repeat the question a few times? 4 00:00:21,700 --> 00:00:24,540 The square root of the number nine. 5 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:26,580 Answer, pronto. 6 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:29,420 Um, 60? 7 00:00:30,020 --> 00:00:33,420 Uh, 90210? 8 00:00:33,820 --> 00:00:36,140 Yeah, um, LMNOP? 9 00:00:40,620 --> 00:00:46,860 I agree with him, boys. Your difficulties in math, as well as every 10 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:50,720 make it clear that you just don't belong in the ninth grade. 11 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:56,960 I'm calling the principal of Wilson Elementary School to arrange for you 12 00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:58,120 go back one grade. 13 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:01,620 Uh, so like, what grade would that put us in? 14 00:01:02,380 --> 00:01:04,080 Are we going to, like, be in college? 15 00:01:05,420 --> 00:01:06,880 That would be cool. 16 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:08,120 Yeah, then we'd score. 17 00:01:09,620 --> 00:01:11,600 Enjoy your new school, boys. 18 00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:19,900 It 19 00:01:19,900 --> 00:01:27,120 is 20 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:31,560 in these hills that Juan Valdez and his trusty goat gather coffee beans every 21 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:32,560 morning. 22 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:33,800 Yeah. 23 00:01:41,660 --> 00:01:48,440 I can make a face like that. Check this out. 24 00:01:52,340 --> 00:01:54,920 That wasn't very good, Bucket. 25 00:01:55,460 --> 00:01:57,880 That was scary, man. 26 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:01,100 Yeah, that scared the bejesus out of me. 27 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:14,300 Black hole sun. 28 00:02:14,740 --> 00:02:17,120 Black hole sun. 29 00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:19,430 Black hole? 30 00:02:19,990 --> 00:02:20,990 Hole? 31 00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:23,910 Black hole? 32 00:02:25,030 --> 00:02:26,530 Hey, Butter, what is a black hole? 33 00:02:26,850 --> 00:02:30,950 Uh, it's sort of like a bunghole, but it's like... Whoa, Butter, check it out. 34 00:02:30,990 --> 00:02:35,230 That's a chick from Whale, remember? That hobo slumping hobo slut, uh, 35 00:02:35,850 --> 00:02:37,930 Shut up, Beavis. I was explaining something. 36 00:02:38,390 --> 00:02:39,390 Oh, okay. 37 00:02:39,470 --> 00:02:44,530 So, like, a black hole is like this giant bunghole in outer space. 38 00:02:45,690 --> 00:02:46,690 It's like... 39 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:48,260 It fucks up the whole universe. 40 00:02:48,700 --> 00:02:52,360 And that's like, it grinds it up and like, cleans it all to hell or 41 00:02:52,620 --> 00:02:53,620 Wow, really? 42 00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:54,700 Yeah, cool. 43 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:57,080 But like, um, how do you know all this stuff? 44 00:02:57,300 --> 00:02:59,620 From watching Star Trek, bunghole. 45 00:03:00,940 --> 00:03:05,980 This sucks. 46 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:10,080 Yeah. Why do we have to like, go back to 8th grade to get to college? 47 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:14,280 Cancel out the common factors and we have x equals 2 squared. 48 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:20,460 So X is obviously two times two. Have you ever, like, been with an older man? 49 00:03:21,580 --> 00:03:23,440 Leave me alone, you loser. 50 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,940 Loser. Shut up, dill hole. 51 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:32,520 Excuse me. 52 00:03:32,740 --> 00:03:34,840 Are you paying attention back there? 53 00:03:35,460 --> 00:03:36,460 No. 54 00:03:37,620 --> 00:03:40,860 What did I just say X is? 55 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:43,520 Two. 56 00:03:47,340 --> 00:03:52,160 Uh... Two squared, two to the second power. 57 00:03:57,500 --> 00:04:01,360 Four plus five? 58 00:04:01,620 --> 00:04:03,980 Come on, four added to five? 59 00:04:04,300 --> 00:04:05,760 Um, W? 60 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:11,340 No way, Lava. Uh, like two squared or something? 61 00:04:11,790 --> 00:04:16,910 This desk is giving me a stiffy. I don't even have room for a stiffy. 62 00:04:18,450 --> 00:04:19,450 Hey, 63 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:25,430 Beavis. 64 00:04:26,190 --> 00:04:27,770 These ticks are flat. 65 00:04:30,050 --> 00:04:34,930 So the mean, grumpy bear... 66 00:04:35,420 --> 00:04:37,520 turned into a nice, happy bear. 67 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:43,140 And he lived happily ever after with the 100 jars of honey, minus one. 68 00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:45,040 Numbers, fuck. 69 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:51,720 Are you angry, butthead? Yeah, I'm like angry at Numbers. Yeah, there's like too 70 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:52,720 many of them and stuff. 71 00:04:53,700 --> 00:04:56,200 That's okay. It's all right to be angry. 72 00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:58,360 Everyone gets angry sometimes. 73 00:04:59,260 --> 00:05:03,040 Well, let's do some coloring now. Won't that be fun? 74 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:04,400 Yeah! 75 00:05:05,540 --> 00:05:07,060 What's with you, dumbass? 76 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:08,520 Coloring sucks. 77 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:18,020 Who wants juice and cookies? 78 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:20,220 Yeah! These 79 00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:26,880 cookies 80 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:29,340 suck. Do you have any, like, nachos? 81 00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:32,240 No, I don't have any nachos. Sorry. 82 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:34,340 And I don't like spitting. 83 00:05:34,840 --> 00:05:37,140 Spitting can spread germs. Germs! 84 00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:38,480 Germs! Germs! 85 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:39,840 Either 86 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:54,660 get 87 00:05:54,660 --> 00:05:59,180 these imbeciles out of my class, or get yourself a new kindergarten teacher! 88 00:05:59,580 --> 00:06:02,620 Well, I could try sending them back to preschool. 89 00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:05,530 But eventually they'd come back through here. 90 00:06:06,850 --> 00:06:12,110 Uh... Why don't you, like, put us in a higher grade? You know, where the chicks 91 00:06:12,110 --> 00:06:14,550 have big thingies? Yeah, yeah, me too. 92 00:06:15,210 --> 00:06:16,290 See what I mean? 93 00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:17,950 Yes, I see. 94 00:06:18,230 --> 00:06:20,990 Hey, these boys just gave me an idea. 95 00:06:22,910 --> 00:06:26,970 You're looking at the brightest students that have ever passed through the 96 00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,330 hallowed halls of Wilson Elementary School. 97 00:06:29,870 --> 00:06:30,870 Yeah. 98 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:37,240 Breaking up. 99 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:38,920 Whoa, check it out, butthead. 100 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:41,240 There's a kick back there in that window. I think she's naked. 101 00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:42,720 Shut up, Beaver. 102 00:06:42,940 --> 00:06:43,940 No, she's not. 103 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:45,600 Okay. Okay. 104 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:49,320 Hey, 105 00:06:50,900 --> 00:06:55,800 Beaver. That guy said he hears dark voices in his head. 106 00:06:56,790 --> 00:07:00,790 Oh, really? I hear voices, too, but, like, usually they're white guys. 107 00:07:01,930 --> 00:07:04,830 Sometimes it's, like, you know, a Chinese dude, too, that talks to me. 108 00:07:05,410 --> 00:07:06,510 A couple Mexicans. 109 00:07:06,930 --> 00:07:07,930 Really? 110 00:07:09,350 --> 00:07:10,910 What does the Chinese guy say? 111 00:07:11,370 --> 00:07:13,590 He says, hold on your pants. 112 00:07:14,170 --> 00:07:15,170 Thank you, monkey. 113 00:07:17,150 --> 00:07:18,630 What does a white guy say? 114 00:07:19,250 --> 00:07:22,170 The same thing, but, like, he talks just like me. 115 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:29,960 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here we go. Yeah, come on. Come on. Hit it. Hit it. Come on. 116 00:07:29,980 --> 00:07:30,719 Smash it. 117 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:32,860 Smash it. Come on. Come on. What are you waiting for? Smash it. 118 00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:34,100 Settle down, Beaver. 119 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:36,160 This is a video. 120 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:40,640 Anytime you see a cake and a baseball bat in the same video, the cake is going 121 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:41,680 to get an ass kicked. 122 00:07:42,060 --> 00:07:45,660 Yeah, but why are you waiting so long? Come on. Come on. Break it. Break it. 123 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:47,380 Smash it. Come on. Come on. Damn it. 124 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:50,640 Where's the cake? 125 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:51,720 Where's that damn cake? 126 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,900 Let me see it. You dumbass. 127 00:07:59,940 --> 00:08:03,720 I don't see what the big deal is about breaking up. I'd just like to say, hey, 128 00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:05,380 baby, get lost. 129 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:10,560 You know, we can, like, still do it and stuff, but I'm going to have to ask you 130 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:12,040 to leave. Hey, hey, hey, shut up, shut up, shut up. 131 00:08:13,020 --> 00:08:14,020 Yeah. 132 00:08:14,380 --> 00:08:15,380 See, 133 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:17,920 I told you, butt money. 134 00:08:21,770 --> 00:08:23,910 Stop, pupils, my ass! 135 00:08:24,250 --> 00:08:29,350 These two boys are morons! You just weren't reaching them. 136 00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:32,870 They've learned everything they're going to learn in elementary school. 137 00:08:33,169 --> 00:08:35,590 Now their young minds need room to grow. 138 00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:39,049 So we graduated them early, and we're not taking them back. 139 00:08:40,990 --> 00:08:43,570 Uh, you just weren't reaching us, dude. 140 00:08:43,929 --> 00:08:47,830 Yeah, and if you try reaching for us, I'll kick you in the nab. 141 00:08:52,730 --> 00:08:53,730 Hey, 142 00:08:58,830 --> 00:08:59,830 maybe they'll break it. 143 00:09:06,210 --> 00:09:07,210 What's going on? 144 00:09:09,030 --> 00:09:15,990 This song, it sounds like everything else 145 00:09:15,990 --> 00:09:16,990 sounds like right now. 146 00:09:17,770 --> 00:09:21,110 In fact, there's about a bazillion vans that, like, sound exactly like this 147 00:09:21,110 --> 00:09:22,110 right now. Yeah. 148 00:09:22,810 --> 00:09:24,670 I mean, at least they're breaking stuff. 149 00:09:24,910 --> 00:09:25,910 Mm -hmm. 150 00:09:26,790 --> 00:09:28,970 Whoa, they're putting honey on grape? 151 00:09:29,690 --> 00:09:30,689 Yeah, yeah. 152 00:09:30,690 --> 00:09:31,690 That's cool. 153 00:09:32,110 --> 00:09:35,450 Remember that movie where they buried that guy up to his neck, and then, like, 154 00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:37,670 put honey on him and brought out the ants? Yeah. 155 00:09:38,730 --> 00:09:39,990 That was cool. 156 00:09:40,190 --> 00:09:41,190 Yeah. 157 00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:47,490 I tried that once, and I was like, I was like, I buried myself up to my neck, 158 00:09:47,530 --> 00:09:49,230 and I forgot to get the honey. 159 00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:54,350 Dumbass. So then I dug myself out, and I was too lazy, and I'm like, you know, 160 00:09:54,390 --> 00:09:55,390 do it again. 161 00:09:55,670 --> 00:09:56,670 Yeah. 162 00:09:59,730 --> 00:10:02,210 Remember that time I tried to bury you up to your neck? 163 00:10:02,460 --> 00:10:04,900 Yeah, but you did it wrong. The guy in the movie looked like feet fur. 164 00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:06,979 Oh, yeah. 165 00:10:06,980 --> 00:10:10,060 Then you got all freaked out and ran up and down the street with your pants 166 00:10:10,060 --> 00:10:11,060 around your ankle. 167 00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:13,560 I didn't really run. I just kind of hopped. 168 00:10:14,620 --> 00:10:15,620 Cool. 11509