All language subtitles for Ghosts s05e04 Bring Your Daughter to Work Day.eng

Hey, guys. What are you doing?

Trying to guess
what the day's special will be

based on the staff's prep work.

It's not exactly fun,
but it's something.

Thor hoping Jay finally take
Thor's suggestion

and put rams' testicles on menu.

- And what is Gabe doing?
- TREVOR: Gabe is waiting

to come down from whatever
he smoked on his break.

HETTY:
He says he's speaking telepathically

to the cauliflower.

This man should not have
access to knives.

NEEL:
Sorry I'm late.

Last night I took my date
to that ice cream shop

next to the animal shelter.

I teared up

looking at those senior dogs
in the window,

and then it was "game on."

You're such a sleaze.

An ice cream/puppy cuddle
doubleheader

is exactly the kind of move

T-Money would have pulled
in his prime.

The ice cream doesn't melt,
but the panties do.

Why doesn't the ice cream melt?

I don't know, Pete,
just let me have a catchphrase.

You get everything I requested
for tonight's special?

Sure did, Cobra.

Ooh, here we go.

Yes!

Thor right. Rams' testicles.

Diners eat well tonight.

Thorfinn,
those are brussels sprouts.

They're vegetables.

And people eat?

Thor gonna be sick.

? ?

Sam. Remember how
I have a daughter now?

Well, she came to visit,
and while she was here,

you texted her from my phone,
pretending to be me,

and said that the man
who raised her

wasn't her real father
and that you were,

and then I had to take
the blame, so, yeah, I remember.

Well, great news, I saw on
Instagram that she lost her job,

so you can hire her here
at the restaurant.

Oh, boy. Trevor wants us to hire

his daughter
as a server at Mahesh.

Uh, too bad we spent
all our money

fixing the stripper-shaped hole
in the roof.

I know it's not
technically possible,

but I swear that hole had abs.

What if I pay her salary?

I have the money
from my finance job.

Trevor says
he'll pay Abby's salary.

He just wants to be around her.

- It's actually kind of sweet.
- Hmm.

Yeah, okay.
I mean, it's a really good deal.

Yes. You won't regret this.

Okay, well, we don't even know
if she'll take the job.

I just appreciate
that you're gonna ask her.

And while he's saying yes
to things,

maybe we should hire her
hot friend Brooke as a hostess.

Ew, Trevor,
that's your daughter's friend.

I'm new to the whole
girl dad thing.

I'm learning on the job.

Good note.

So, how are things going
with you and Pete?

I mean, good, but since
we both have roommates,

we don't have anywhere
to... make out.

Oh, so you two are still
just at the kissing stage?

Okay, well, FYI, there's more.

I know all about it,

'cause, you know,
I did it with Joan.

Oh, and she was so satisfied,
she still hasn't come back.

That's impressive.

Attention, everyone.

Creepy Dirk has an announcement.

I am running for reelection.

- What's he talking about?
- NANCY: You guys don't remember?

Four years ago,
Dirk beat Isaac and Alberta

and became ghost representative.

[chuckles] You had to resort
to flimflammery to beat me,

which is
the ultimate compliment.

Anyways,
Dirk's four-year term is up,

and I'm running
his reelection campaign.

And we're just up here
to "press the flesh,"

as they say
in the politics game.

- [laughs]
- Alberta, would you like

- to press my flesh?
- I'm good.

SASAPPIS:
Isn't the position just ceremonial?

I know originally
it was supposed to be the ghost

that communicates with Sam,

but now it's just
an empty figurehead position.

- I mean, who would even want...
- [clears throat]

Not to Higgintoot my own horn,

but I believe destiny
has chosen me for this moment.

If the upstairs ghosts
can line up behind me

and we don't split
our vote again, I shall prevail.

So here I am,
throwing my hat into the ring.

Ooh, that sounds fun.

- What does?
- Throwing hats into rings.

[laughs softly]
I'm in, too.

No. No, I literally
just explained

why we shouldn't both do that.
It's self-defeating.

But on the other hand,
throwing hats into rings rules.

[laughs]:
Yes.

Dibs on Alberta's hat.

[groans]

TREVOR:
Look at my girl.

Shayna punim.

I know I can't hug her,
but would it be weird

if I poked her cheek?

We're so thrilled that you were
able to fill the position, Abby.

Yeah, you caught me
at a bit of a rough moment.

I broke up with my boyfriend,

lost my job, and my roommate
adopted a bunch of ferrets.

I had a bunch of ferrets once.

Oh, that coat was the envy
of East 61st Street.

Well, we're lucky to have you.
[chuckles]

I'm a bit confused why
you reached out to me, though,

'cause waiters
are very easy to find

and I've never done it before.

I think she's delicately asking

if you have a weird obsession
with her,

which, honestly,
the facts support.

Well, we saw
some of your recent posts,

and we noticed
that you were having

kind of a tough run of it.

And to be totally honest,
I still feel bad about...

How do I say this?

Almost destroying her family
last time she here?

How things went
when you visited.

Well, yeah,
I'm-I'm happy to work here.

But there need to be
some very clear boundaries set

because last time
things got very weird.

Understood.

Sam, I promise
I will not make you

look like a freak again.

Thank you.

Is what you could have said

in response to what I said.

It's just sort of polite.

HETTY:
Yes, you're not a freak

who can see ghosts,

you're merely
an annoying etiquette hawk.

Well played.

- We off to good start.
- Mm.

ISAAC:
Flower, listen. I'm concerned

that if we both run
for ghost representative,

we'll split the upstairs vote,

thus extending
Creepy Dirk's reign of ickiness.

Look, Isaac, when I first
threw my hat in the ring,

I'll admit, I thought it was
literally about hats and rings.

And just checking,
we're sure it's not that?

No, sweetie. This is about
running for elective office.

Which I dig.

My whole vibe
was about effecting change.

Us hippies,
we weren't just doing acid

and having orgies for fun.

We were doing those things
to protest Nixon.

Why don't you two have a primary

to pick which of you will run
against Dirk in the general?

That way you won't have to split
the upstairs ghost vote.

ISAAC:
Interesting.

And any primary would,
of course, feature that grandest

of political traditions:
the debate.

Flower, do you accept
this challenge?

- Okay.
- Then it's settled.

It shall be I,
someone who has committed

the entire works of Aristotle
to memory,

versus Flower, who is-

oop- currently
staring at a lamp.

Oh.
[laughs]

I was wondering why this TV show
had gotten so lamp-heavy.

TREVOR:
Look at her.

She's nailing it.

And she's only 298 months old.

Hey, girl.

The customers are loving you.

Must be that famous
Lefkowitz charm.

- [laughs]: What do you mean?
- Ooh, Bela,

that's gonna be
a tough one to explain.

Uh, because, you know,
when, um, they hosted

your biological father's
memorial here,

a lot of people talked
about how charming he was.

So that's how I know.
[chuckles]

Not because
he personally charmed me.

[laughs]
How could he? He's dead!

Yes. She pull it off.

[door opens]

What's up?

I'm Neel. I'm one of the cooks.

Uh-oh, what's this?

Could be innocent.
We don't know.

You're new here, right?

No, I've been here for months.

I'm just really good
at blending in.

NEEL [chuckles]:
Funny and cute.

That's a dangerous combination.

Come on, this is flirtatious.

No, she's just being nice.
He's too old for her.

THORFINN:
She just tuck hair behind ear.

- It is on.
- NEEL: Well, I can show you

around the town
after work if you like.

But only if you answer
one question correctly.

What's that?

Do you like ice cream?

[slow-motion]:
No!

Yeah. Who doesn't
like ice cream?

Great.

Ice cream means sex.

In order to help you
with your debate against Isaac,

we'll ask questions that could
come up at the debate,

- and you just do your best.
- Ooh.

Question one: the shaft
of light in the upstairs den.

It's always been
first come, first served,

but do you think that's fair,

or should we have
designated times

- like we do with the TV?
- Ooh,

I know this one.

- Seven.
- What's that?

Teen? Seventeen?

But those are just numbers.

- Red?
- Child, our girl's in trouble.

- [grunts]
- Oh, no, no- oh, ooh...

Oh...

Whoa.

- Ow.
- ALBERTA: Are you okay?

I'm more worried about Gabe.

[groans]
I think I need to sit down.

The most stoned man in the world
just got Flowered.

Uh, is he gonna be okay?

Hmm. You posit an interesting
question, Sasappis.

Based on his prodigious use
of mind-altering substances,

I'd have to assume
that he's an extreme outlier

in terms of his capacity to
metabolize THC and psilocybin.

What the hell just happened?

I-I think Flower got smart?

B-Because Gabe walked
through her? How does that work?

As I currently feel sober,

I can only surmise
that Gabe's impressive tolerance

has caused him
to absorb the entirety

- of my intoxication.
- SASAPPIS: Okay, so,

are you just gonna be smart
from now on?

Based on what I've witnessed
in my time here,

these metaphysical side effects
are always temporary.

I have no reason to believe
this will be any different.

Then let's get you
to that debate.

- Yes.
- Ha!

What was in that Pop-Tart?

I'm just gonna take a nap.

[exhales]

SAMANTHA:
No, Pete, I'm sorry, I'm not gonna have

a dedicated room
for the ghosts to make out in.

Would it help if I told you
we already have a name

- for the room?
- It's Smooch City.

He told me,
and now you have to know.

- Ugh.
- Sam, I need you to fire Neel

before the restaurant
closes tonight.

He's gonna take Abby
out for ice cream.

Ice cream, Sam.

That doesn't sound so bad.

No, that's his big move.
The guy is a dog.

Jay, Trevor is worried
because Neel asked Abby out,

and I guess he's a bit
of a playboy?

He carries five condoms
in his wallet.

From the outside,
it looks like the Olympic rings.

JAY:
Abby's a grown woman,

and a restaurant's
not like normal workplaces.

Chefs work hard,
they got to play hard.

I got some stories for you-
about other people.

Uh, third-party, very distant.

Don't companies today
have policies

against dating in the workplace?

Yes. My investment firm
certainly does.

I know because I got reprimanded

for posting that hot-or-not list
on the company Slack.

SAMANTHA:
The ghosts are suggesting we institute

a policy about dating
in the workplace?

Sam, please.

I just, I don't want her to get
her heart broken by some jerk.

He's really worried about Abby.
Come on, it's his daughter.

Okay- oh, geez. Okay, fine.

W-Well, maybe
we can tell everyone

there's a mandatory meeting
about HR stuff,

and we can sneak
the new policy in.

- Yes.
- HETTY: In my day,

"HR" referred to
Heath Rutherford,

who was in charge
of dumping cold water

on young factory workers
asleep at the loom.

That is the downside
to employing children.

They are always napping.

PETE:
Okay.

Welcome to the first
upstairs ghost primary debate.

We'll begin with
opening statements. Isaac?

- You have the floor.
- Thank you, everyone, for attending.

Democracy works best
when all participate.

White male landowners
and others.

Okay, that felt like
an applause line, but no matter.

[clears throat]
Now, Flower,

which style of debate
would you like to engage in?

A debate is a sort of
formalized exchange of ideas.

Thank you, Isaac.

I'm equally comfortable
in Lincoln-Douglas,

British Parliamentary,
or Oxford-style.

You can choose.

Uh...

No, she speaking gibberish.
We need to stop this.

Okay, now it's time
for our first question.

Yes, I have one. Who are you

and what in the hell
have you done with Flower?

I maintain that all of us
have within us the ability

to rise and meet the moment.

If elected,

I would follow
the words of Cicero:

Salus populi suprema lex esto.

The welfare of the people
shall be the supreme law.

What is happening?
Why is she so cogent?

Okay, our next question
comes from Sasappis.

Let's say a ghost
wanted to smell pizza,

but Sam refused to order one.

How would you, as ghost
representative, handle that?

I'll take this one.

As a ghost,
I would be powerless to help.

Therefore,
I would advise you to surrender.

Which, not to brag,

I am incredible at.

Thank you.

Uh, Flower, same question.

Scratch and sniff stickers
employ a process

known as microencapsulation
to capture various scents-

including pizza-
in two-dimensional objects.

I would convince Sam to keep
a number of these on hand,

and then Trevor could activate
them using his ghost power.

- [laughs]
- Yes!

Bravo, Madam Representative!

This isn't fair.
There's flimflammery afoot.

There's flimflammery, I say!

Okay, uh, well, th-thanks,
everyone, for gathering.

Um, I'll try
and keep this brief.

It's just a quick update
on our new

dating in the workplace policy.

I'm sorry, we have a dating
in the workplace policy?

- We do now.
- MARK: And I support it,

100%, whatever it is,
because of my respect for women.

Thank you, Mark.

- What are you doing here?
- I heard there was a seminar

on sexual harassment,
and that is a subject

I am always looking
to improve on.

And by "improve on,"
I mean "get better at doing it."

Great tush, by the way.

- [laughs]
- [gasps]

Is this new policy
because of, uh,

me and the linens lady?

No.

Then is it
because of me and Gabe?

Did we hook up?

[low]:
You met my parents.

Look, this isn't about
anyone in particular.

Just going forward,
the new policy is we don't allow

for workplace relationships.

Did you hear that Neel and I
are supposed

to get ice cream tonight?

No, that was not on my radar.

But it would be prohibited
under the new policy.

ABBY:
So, there was no policy,

and now there is a policy
just a few hours

before Neel and I are
supposed to hang out,

and you're telling us now
in an emergency HR meeting?

That's just a series
of coincidences.

Ooh, this is a damning
fact pattern.

This is very weird
and very messed up, Sam,

but, honestly,
I'm not surprised at all.

Abby, wait.

I think people should be allowed
to date who they want.

She's a woman, too.
I'm supporting women.

- Do you want to kiss?
- Oh, my God.

[chuckles]
We just came back from the vote,

and you won in a landslide.

[laughs]:
That's incredible.

What did I win?
Was it best smile?

In the commune,
I won three years in a row,

but then I got high
and chipped my tooth on a rock

that looked like an apple
but tasted like a rock.

[laughs]
Welcome back, Flower.

It's actually really good
to see you again.

Oh, we missed you,
you knucklehead.

So, do you remember anything
from when you were smart?

I just remember

this overwhelming feeling
of futility.

Like, I was hyperaware
of how powerless we are

and how we're
trapped here forever

with absolutely no idea why.

Do you guys
ever think about that?

- Constantly.
- It was bleak, man.

ALBERTA:
Well, yeah,

it's incredibly depressing.

What is?

Oh, that TV show
about the lamp is on again.

Oh, I've seen this episode.
It's a classic.

So, she just bummed us out
and now she's back

- in Happy Land.
- Yeah.

[laughs]

Oy gevalt. She's packing, Sam.

- Do something.
- Uh, hey, Abby.

- Have you got a sec?
- ABBY: Oh, wait,

is there another boundary
you want to cross?

Or do you want some blood
so you can map my DNA?

Look, I'm sorry, uh,
that I meddled again.

It's just that...
The thing is...

- The thing is...
- Just tell her.

- Seriously?
- BELA: Honestly,

what do you have to lose?

What are you talking about?

Do it.

Your father is a ghost
who haunts this mansion,

and I know that
because I can see ghosts.

It really sound nuts
when she say it out loud.

Oh, she just blurts it out.

Meanwhile, my mother
was institutionalized

for menstrual cramps.

ABBY:
You people are crazy.

Please never contact me again.

I'm leaving now.

BELA:
No, no, Abby, wait. Look,

I had the same reaction
when they told me.

But then Sam proved it
by having one of the ghosts

tell her everything
that was in my purse.

Uh, Sam, are there
any ghosts in here right now?

Hetty, Thorfinn and Trevor.

Your father.

Oh, hi, Trevor.

We have history.

He catfished me.

- [mouths]
- It's a long story, but basically,

I was almost your stepmother.

Bela, please stop talking.

Hetty, do you mind?

HETTY:
Makeup, uh, nail file,

a book of crossword puzzles.

And a string cheese
out of its wrapper.

Makeup, nail file,
crossword puzzles,

and unwrapped string cheese.

All that proves is that you've
been snooping through my things,

which is very on-brand for you.

This is not a trick.
You can take the bag

- out of the room and fill it...
- TREVOR: Wait.

She's my daughter.
I'll prove it to her.

Sam, tell her to look
at the pen on the table.

Trevor wants you to look
at the pen on the table.

He has the ability
to move things.

Okay, yeah,
and I bet you haven't tied

dental floss to that
or anything.

JAY:
Okay, then,

you pick the object.

I mean, there's no way
that we could've

rigged everything in this room.

ABBY:
All right, my...

water bottle,
which I've had with me all day,

so I know you didn't
mess with it.

What? No! This thing is huge!

Why do girls carry around
so much water these days?

The thing is, that's
a little heavy for Trevor.

Could you possibly pick
something lighter?

I knew you were full of it.

Okay, okay, fine.
If that's what she wants, fine.

He's trying.

[straining]

- Is impossible.
- Come on, Trevor.

[panting]
I can do it.

[exhales]
For my daughter.

[straining]

How are you doing that?

It's Trevor.

BELA:
He's really strong for a ghost.

And funny. And sensitive.

- Yes!
- Well done, Trevor.

Is this real?

TREVOR [panting]:
Yes.

I'm here, Abby.

He's here.

This is a lot to take in.

I told you he was strong.

Is he pumped right now?
Do they get all, like, pumped?

You need to either get
or fire a therapist.

He says if you'll stay,
he promises

not to be overprotective.

He just wants
to get to know you.

- This is insane.
- And also,

he understands
if you want to go out with Neel,

but he says
he's not good enough for you.

Oh, no, I know that.

I was using him for free food.

His contact in my phone
is literally "Neel the Meal."

Oh, she was gonna
play the player.

I have never been so proud.
[laughs softly]

- Alone at last.
- I thought it would never happen.

Oh. Sorry, didn't realize
you two were in here.

[sighs]

But you're staying. Okay.

It's just so unfair.

She was off drugs.
How is that legal?

I just got so excited
about the idea

of finally holding office.

It's what I've wanted
for over 200 years,

but I couldn't even beat Flower.

You know, Isaac,
if this is what you want,

maybe there's still a way.

I grew up in the South. Do you
know what carpetbaggers are?

Of course, but explain it
for Pete's benefit.

Carpetbaggers are politicians
from the North

who would move to the South
to run for office.

Are you suggesting
that I take up residency

in the basement
and primary Creepy Dirk?

Yeah, maybe that's
just too crazy.

Someone would have
to be incredibly charming

to defeat a popular incumbent
as an outsider.

Incredibly charming?

But that's me.
I shall move to the basement

and ingratiate myself
with those hideous ghouls,

and I shan't return
until they've chosen me

to run against Flower
in the general election.

[inhales sharply]
Huzzah.

What was that?
I thought you didn't want him

to be the ghost representative.

I don't,
but I just got my roommate

to move to the basement.

Which means you and I finally
have that make-out space

we've been looking for.

Well, in that case,
welcome to Smooch City.

This is your mayor speaking.

Unless you want to be mayor,
in which case

- this is your deputy mayor
speaking... - Stop talking.

Yes, Madam Mayor.

Hello, besties.

Ooh, what's that smell?

Because I love it.

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