Original subtitles

Get you back.

I tell it like it is, but I always make it nice.

Okay, Julius, keep it moving. We've got to get this going now. The racehorse is

ready to go. The racehorse is ready to go. Listen, everybody loves Bluestone

Manor. It's almost like Cinderella's Castle at this point. People are like,

my God, do you love Bluestone Manor? They don't think it's real.

So to have these iconic women from all different franchises and places coming

this house for eight days and let the world experience it, man, what more

you ask for?

You can't always get what you want, but I can.

All right, guys, well, y 'all know I'm going on a trip with my girlfriends next

week. Where?

I'm going to the Berkshires.

Where's that?

It's up in Massachusetts.

You're going to be missing me. I know you, Ideal Bill.

Hey, I'm missing, too.

Yeah, okay.

I'm expecting to have a good time. We all have had experiences, good, bad,

and indifferent.

And so we should connect, you know, with the journey of being housewife. You

better get all the snuggles you can before I go.

I live a model life. Now I'm ready to be a top wife.

Marley. Yeah. Oh, a tooth came out. It came out.

Yeah. You have to tell us so we can keep the door unlocked for Tooth Fairy. You

want to get your money, right?

You'll have no teeth and no money. Eva, take one. Marker.

Google. Siri.

Where are the Berkshires?

What the fuck is a Berkshire?

You're a winner, and you're already in the bag. You're asking me to go away on

girl's trip with one person I know, Faye Drung, who I've known for a zillion

years, and five other suspects. I need to have my weed. Guess what?

Weed is legal in Massachusetts.

I'm so excited. That is one of the things I'm excited about. What I do need

to do is get it legal here.

It may look like I have it all, but I want more.

Mom, don't.

Bring those shoes.

They're ugly.

I like these shoes. No. They're Louis Vuitton. They look like safari shoes.

Safari? Yeah. Well, maybe. I don't know what the Berkshires are like. Maybe I'll

be going on a safari.

I like it.

So very different now than it was back in the day on Beverly Hills.

Now I live in Orange County.

My daughter is now 15, and I am remarried. I'm never away from my

I'm a little bit nervous, but I'm also excited to see the legendary Bluestone

Manor. I think a trip to the Berkshires is going to be unusual because I've

never been there before, but Dorinda seems...

elegant and classy. Dickie's going to be there and she's a good friend.

Tamara and I have always had a nice relationship. I don't know Phaedra and

at all.

And then there's Brandy. If I need rescued, you have to come in by

I'd rather spend my life kicking out than kissing it.

Are you nervous about me being on TV again?

You're fine.

Do you have any rules?

Don't throw alcohol at people.

That was a one -time thing. Going into this trip, I really want to show

who I am. I'm not that crazy drunk girl all the time anymore. I have my drinking

under control.

I really think that I've calmed down. I mean, I have moments.

As calm as you can be. It's like the Incredible Hulk. I don't want the Hulk

come out. I wonder if the Hulk has a penis.

I wonder, like, if he's anatomically correct.

Please, stop.

These days... Faith, family, and fitness are the only Fs I give.

Oh, my God.

One of my favorite people in the whole entire world.

I know.

Before you judge me, you better be perfect.

Woo -hoo!

Sorry I missed your birthday last week, but we're going to have fun. I know.

Hi. Do I have to say hi?

It was really hard for me when I got the news that I was, like, over 12 years of

my life, I was a housewife. And then I got the call, would you be on the All

-Star cast? And I'm like...

Okay. I've never been to the Berkshire, Berk, what's it called?

I don't know. Some mansion Hamptons. I don't think it's the Hamptons. I think

it's in a different state, sweetheart.

Massachusetts. I've never been. Wait, how do you say it?

Massachusetts. Massachusetts.

Massachusetts. I've never been there. I've been asked, like, why am I an ex

-housewife? I can't answer it. I'm not ready to be done. But they thought

of me to bring me back for the ex -wife club.

TV show. Wait, what is it called? On this trip, we're going to whoop it up.

Oh, my God, what a beautiful day.

Just in the nick of time.

I'm excited that they're all about to arrive, but I'm exhausted.

More furniture, just what I don't need. I'll get someone to help you. I've been

preparing for five full days, but panic preparing.

Gift baskets, flowers, landscaping. And to tell you the truth, I feel like I'm

almost about...

to do a wedding weekend.

It's got that energy. It's no longer a house. It's a full working event space.

Marco?

Is Marco here?

Marco. Yes, I was looking for you, Marco. Were you already hiding from me?

little bit.

I'm ready for you. We should probably have some nice wine.

Some white wine, some rosé.

So is this basically vegetarian?

They're chicken.

They're going to be a chicken with a ratatouille.

Marco, you've got to be present because you've got to hear everything.

This is the rules of the house of Bluestone Manor. When the lady of the

here, you're present.

And you take note. When you leave, you execute.

I realize I have to reach out and get some help. So I decided to bring on

But would you like me to prepare champagne for when the ladies arrive? I

love that. I need a right -hand man, I need a left -hand man, I need several

right -hand men, but Marco's going to have to do. Is it cold?

Uh, no.

Can't serve warm wine, sir. Also, he's very good -looking.

So this is Jill? This is now Jill. Okay.

Will you be the keeper of the key? Okay, okay. No one thinks she's coming. It's

a surprise tomorrow. Okay. So don't blow it.

Okay. Jill Darn is going to join us a day later because it's a Jewish holiday.

So we decided to keep it a secret so we could surprise the other ladies. I think

we should eat outdoors.

It's so beautiful now. So have them set the table for seven. All right, let's

go. Bluestone Manor is a very special place. You enter those doors and

happens. How many beautiful memories over the years have been made at

Manor? You are a hypocrite. You f*** everyone.

You drunken fool. You have a mugshot of your drunkenness.

I made money. You didn't have any money.

I was so.

Mouth to mouth.

Is he dead?

Get over it. They got you. Had it.

You don't touch the pink Morgan letters.

I decorated.

I cooked.

I made it nice.

Ready, set.

Here we go.

Buckle up, bitches.

It's game time, bitches.

Are you warm at all?

No. I feel like I'm, like, warm.

I hope there's a lot of hangers for our clothes.

Shall we?

Shall we proceed?

Give them what they need.

Can that booty go all the way over there?

Make it across.

Let's go.

I'm excited.

I don't know. No, I mean, I've met Dorenda. All of the people we're linking

with. Dorenda seems hella cool.

Kenya was telling me Brandi Glanville is an interesting character. I don't know

that. Kenya from our show in Atlanta warned me, stay away from Brandi. She's,

like, crazy.

If Kenya says you're crazy, oh, you're batshit crazy.

But I do like attractive people. I don't want to be scared when I wake up. You

like them cute.

I don't like them.

So how long is the trip?

Back to... To Rindo's? Oh, it's about an hour and a half.

Oh, okay.

Do you have a driver's license?

I do have a driver's license.

I'm just joking.

Do you know Brandy?

No, Brandy says that we're vile. I don't even know her.

Okay, here's what I know. This week I'll be hosting Taylor, Brandy, Vicki,

Tamara, Phaedra, Eva, and one mystery guest, Jill.

Taylor had issues with Brandy from when they were on Beverly Hills. Now she

lives in Orange County where she's friends with Vicki and Tamara, who had a

blow -up in the past but are currently on good terms.

Tamara and Brandy don't really know each other, but have beef at their social

media battle. I know Phaedra a little bit, but I never met her good friend,

She's most excited to meet Brandy. And Eva, Phaedra, and Brandy are all

Scorpios, which has nothing to do with anything, but it comes up a lot.

I definitely know Brandy. She's just so outrageous, and she does it, I think,

for shock factor more than anything.

You know her well because you've dealt with her, right?

Absolutely, yeah. My last memories of Brandy were not pleasant. I was going

through the absolute worst time in my life. When did the abuse in your

relationship start?

When I was pregnant.

I was filing for a divorce, and also Russell committed suicide. And Brandy

along on the show and kicks me while I'm down. She said...

some stuff after Russell died and how I wrote a book and that it had been like a

hot minute.

When's the book come out anyway?

How long has it been? Why do you think it's inappropriate that she wrote a

It's been like a hot minute.

I don't know. With her... She could be just one of those dogs that like to

though. Hello?

Hi!

Very excited you're coming.

Oh, me too. I know that you and I will have fun. I do have a little anxiety

about the other girl. Not Phaedra or Eva. I'm excited to see them.

I just... The other three...

Taylor and I, you know, old issues, and then Tamara, newer issues.

With Tamara, I've had some beef with her on Twitter.

Her and I had some issues online, definitely.

She called me unstable.

She called me a sociopath.

Yeah, it got a little ugly.

I don't really like Vicky either. I've got to get some air on me. It's not hot

in here.

It's hot in here. No, it's not.

Then why does it feel hot in here?

Taylor and I have the most history.

I have not seen her since we worked together on Housewives, so I have a

trepidation there.

I would just come in, take a deep breath.

I got your back.

Okay, my arm is getting tired because I'm out of shape. I'll see you in a

bit.

It's really pretty.

We're very far away from home. You think? We are very far away.

Why would anybody live out here in the middle of nowhere?

Where do you go shopping?

We're at HomeGood. We're at Target.

We're at the grocery store.

I see nothing.

Oh.

Hello?

Hi. Welcome to the Berkshires.

Well, we're about ten minutes away.

Yay! Hey, listen, I just got off the phone with Brandy. She's a little

so we need to be nice.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Back that ass up.

Wait. We need to be nice?

She's feeling a little tentative, so we don't want to have a girl gang thing

going on. Hey, you've got to be kidding me.

The world's ultimate backstabber is nervous about seeing one of the nicest

people on the planet.

Okay.

Tell it to the judge, because I don't believe that. And I don't mean to hammer

judge. I don't have any intention.

No, we're fine, Dorinda. We're all going to go in at night. Well, I can't wait

to see if the place is ready.

Okay, we'll see you soon. Bye.

I'm excited.

Yay!

Does she live here full time?

I would go nuts out here. What does she do?

There's got to be bugs everywhere.

Look at these gates.

They're so cool. Kind of creepy, like kind of spooky, huh? It's the, what's it

called, what's it called, groggles?

Gorgile? Gorgiles.

Gargoyles. Gargoyles.

Gargoyles. Gargoyles.

Oh my gosh, look at this.

They've arrived!

Wow, this is incredible.

I can't believe it.

Hi.

I can't believe we're finally here.

Hi.

Thank you so much for having us. Here's the girl.

Hi, honey. Hello.

You look great. Thank you. How are you?

Oh, my gosh, you guys, you girls are so glamorous.

Oh, come on in.

I am so happy you're here. Welcome.

Do you want the bigger shoes off?

Downstairs, no, only upstairs.

Okay. And I have slippers for everybody. Oh, my goodness.

Come on in.

They'll bring up all your luggage. We've got slippers in everybody's rooms. Your

house, your rules. I put this very beautifully and well -made plaque in

everyone's room. Very simple rules to follow.

No shoes upstairs.

No food or beverage upstairs.

Obvious, but if they're confused.

So, Vicki and you, Campbell, you're here.

Oh, beautiful.

Be very close. I'm going to be rubbing your back. Taylor, you're going to have

nice, quiet room.

Taylor, Taylor.

That's spooky. That chandelier is spooky.

And this is the birdcage room. So, you're here. Oh, my God. I love that

wallpaper. I thought you would.

It makes me feel like a little girl again. You're right. That's what I

Except my room was not this nice when I was a little girl.

So, have you spoken to any of the other ladies?

preparation for everything?

Well, you know what? Not really, because...

I like to go into a situation with a clear head and no preconceived notions

about stuff. There is this, and I know you know it, that little anxiety thing

that comes on you when you know you're about to go film. You know, Atlanta

fights. Atlanta fights. They come with gowns and gloves, and you don't see the

gloves until they're swinging.

The housewives of Atlanta, honey, you would think you took away World War II.

I'm just hoping that none of that happens here.

I deal with people how they deal with me. So somebody's bad experience with

somebody does not mean I'm going to have a bad experience. So we're going to go

ahead and put that on a greeting card.

I'm going in with a clean slate on all these girls. Me too.

This is where I do a lot of entertaining and hosting.

Now, did you buy that picture?

No, the artist came up here and lived here for like two weeks and painted it.

Why is there a dead deer there? Right?

So basically, it's sort of like the ground, life.

which you take from the earth, you know, and her prosperity.

So everybody's dead there? All the animals are dead?

I guess.

Let's see.

Are you scared when you're alone here?

No. I come here a lot, as much as I can.

And I'll tell you what's nice about... What do you do here?

Well, I have my family here.

Vicki, I didn't expect her to sort of dive into the negativity so quickly. She

kind of burst my bubble. And you know, folks, I don't like my bubble burst.

Because when my bubble bursts... I broke back.

How was the ride here? Perfect.

It was nice. It was pretty.

It was really pretty.

I just want to know if there's a place that we can, like, whoop it up at around

here. What do you mean? She's single now.

It just happened yesterday.

So wait a second.

Let's go sit outside.

We can go sit by the pool for a little bit.

So what happened? You broke up with Steve yesterday? No, he broke up with

Really? Yeah. I thought you guys were, like, engaged. We are.

Oh, you are? Okay, I don't know. We're... Wow, look at this.

Yay, maybe we should just get married tonight.

It's so pretty.

Let's do it.

Steve and I were together almost six years, engaged for two and a half. We

now officially broken up.

My heart is broken, and I don't know what happened.

A year ago, I bought a place in Mexico, and he decided to live there more than

California, so I would go back and forth and back and forth. In your place?

Uh -huh.

Without her. Well, that's a warning sign.

And then he's like, you can come here and see me. You know where I'm at.

no one else involved.

He says no, but I don't. I mean, I have a ring. We got engaged. We didn't have a

wedding date. Did you have to give it back?

God, no.

There's no giving back.

But so anyways.

I'm not sure about the rules on that.

I think that you have to give it back. Unless you got it.

It does not matter who breaks up. I've always heard when you break up a

relationship, you have to give the ring back.

If the guy breaks up with you, then you keep it. If you break up with him, then

you have to give it back.

I say always give it back. End it all.

I'm never giving the ring back. I bought it. The ring that he could afford was

not what I wanted. So I'm good with buying my own ring.

How's your sex life?

We haven't had sex in 13 months.

Oh, my God.

Every time I touch his wee -wee, he's like, I'm not there right now.

I don't like the fact that it's a wee -wee. I just want to be respectful. No,

he's very good. The wee -wee?

There's the problem. Maybe we could come up with a little stronger name, like

his duke, or I don't know, like Dallian.

Oh, my darling, I can't wait to sleep with you tonight and take out my massive

wee -wee.

What?

Is that it?

I thought it was called Graystone Manor, and it would make more sense because

all of the stones are gray.

Bluestone Manor looks beautiful, but I watch all of the housewife shows, so I

have seen trips to Dorinda's house. Yeah, it seems like it always goes left.

Well, it was lovely chatting with you, and we'll get a burger on the way back.

Cheers, ladies.

Cheers. Let's make the best of it. Knock, knock.

Come on in.

Oh, perfect. Hi.

Hello. How are you? I'm good. How are you? Good.

I don't want to take wine before I see the lady of the house.

Hello?

They're out back. Would you like me to take you? Oh, well, then I'll take wine.

Then I'll lead the way. Perfect.

What's your name? Marco.

Marco. Off the line brandy.

Okay, do I go this way?

Yeah.

One of my friends. Oh, here's someone here.

Hi.

We know each other very well. I don't even think we've ever met.

But anyway, hello.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

Good to see you. This is Brandi. I know Taylor. Hi, of course. How are you?

Yes. Hi. I don't know you really, but we have a little bone to pick with each

other. But we'll get to that.

I'm joking. I'm joking.

Brandi, I am scared shitless.

I mean, I have met my match with this one.

Like, what is she going to do to me?

Am I going to have to sleep with one eye open?

Let me show you your room.

Yeah, I think they're close. Let's start moving in.

She was very pleasant. I thought she was, too. Very sweet.

I'm so confused.

She did say she needs to sort something out with you, though.

She didn't say anything to me, though. I was a little surprised.

She gets fueled by fire with a few drinks. So we'll see. Let's see how the

goes. I want to show you your thing.

Come on.

Where are you?

The house has many wings.

Oh, my God, I love it. It's like the Magic Castle.

I don't know where you're going. You're here.

Oh, I love it.

So this is your bedroom. This is your gift box. Yay, I'm so excited. You have

sign this for me. I did.

Oh, good.

Yeah, I mean, I get a pull -out sofa.

I'm on vacation.

You give me a pull -out couch.

I thought Dorinda liked me.

Should we put our stuff in our room?

Yeah. Do you want your purse? Yeah.

Vicki, she just broke up with Steve yesterday.

This guy doesn't sound right. Who wants to be with a guy you have to beg?

There's cupcakes with our face on them.

Why don't you eat me and I'll eat you?

Okay, that's weird, but if that's what you want to do.

It's very Brandy and Denise.

You ready?

I'm ready.

Let's play.

Yes, this home is already gorgeous, honey. Is this where we're going?

Welcome. Hi.

Hey.

The last car has arrived.

We have arrived. Oh, fabulous.

Oh, my God.

Oh,

my God.

Thank you for having us.

Hey, ladies.

Hi. Hi, I'm Eva. I'm Candy. Nice to meet you, gorgeous.

Listen, I know you from Celebrity Big Brother. I know you from McDonald's. And

you were just on that show.

It might be different tomorrow, but get into it today. A wig is the hair

accessory. You can change your look. You can be Phaedra. You can be Fabergé. I

looked up your birthday and your birthday.

Yeah. Scorpio. Oh, you're a Scorpio too?

I looked up. everyone star sign before I left and I generally love other

Scorpios because they just kind of get you. And Dorinda's a Sag.

So that's a good thing too.

I forgot the other ones. Who cares about them anyway?

Oh, here they are.

So let me show you your room. I'm putting you in the famous fish room.

Did you say fish?

adore you.

Absolutely adore you. You are everything, Ms. Gombelson.

Everything. Thank you.

Not the OG of the OC.

Oh, my God. So excited.

I didn't even know who she was. Eva, no clue.

Literally, I watch Housewives and I've been a fan of the show because of Vicky.

All right. Let me run up, get settled, and then come and play.

Girls, come eat. The bugs are getting the food. Wait, is it hot out there

It's a little warm.

Yeah. Oh, my God. I love Eva's energy. She's so cute.

Oh, gorgeous.

It is nice. It's like humid, but there's a little breeze. I think there's a

breeze now. This is the famous fish room that everybody... Fish room!

Everyone gave me grief about for years.

I've heard so much about this fish room. I love it. Oh, but I love this fish.

Oh, my God. Jaws. And I know it's got assorted pads, honey. If I'm in the fish

room, I'm going to freak out.

Why don't you go...

The swordfish. They're putting me in the fish room.

I'm not afraid of sharks because I swam with the sharks, honey. They were trying

to get away from me.

This is your room so you can do your work.

Yes, this is gorgeous.

I thought you have space.

Just sit up here. It'll be quiet in the morning. Oh, that's perfect. That's

perfect. That's all I need. I've been at the Ricky Smalley Morning Show now for

three years. I work every single morning live. I crack my mic at 6 a .m.

I'm not missing my job, even on the girls' trip. Oh, my goodness. Did you

personalize me some jammies?

Absolutely. Thank you.

Have you guys hung out since, like, the whole, since you guys left?

Oh, the show? Yeah, yeah. We only live, like, ten minutes apart from each other.

We do see each other. We talk a lot. We talk every day.

But I feel like as close as we all are, we don't see each other. No, I always

have to check in on this one because it's always something.

She's always about ready to pop a break.

Why not? Today included.

So you broke up with your boyfriend?

No, he broke up with me.

Is this the one that was on the show?

Yeah. Kind of a dick.

Randy, you don't even know Steve, and that's rude.

I don't know, Vicki, but I watch his show. I'm glad they broke up. She could

way better.

I didn't think he had a big enough personality for you at all.

Okay. You need someone to be the boss of you. Yeah. Because you're the boss of

everyone. You just need to find a really strong man. Yeah. One that can, like,

kind of put you in a place.

We'll do that together. Maybe we'll go on the apps later.

Okay. Well, we'll try.

This is my room, so if you need me, you just come knock on here. Yes, ma 'am.

This tree has been here, so that's 120 years old. Oh, wow. And I decorated it.

And that's, it's Richard's 10 years, so I thought we'd bless it and let them be

him. But when I sit there, I feel him.

Only there.

Really? Only there.

Who the hell is Richard?

I don't feel him so much in the house, but he visits me there.

So my late husband, Richard Medley's memorial was this year. What I've

over the last 10 years is I don't really feel him when I'm in New York. I don't

really feel him when I'm at the cemetery.

I feel him in the backyard at this one tree.

It looks amazing.

Hey, Richard.

You protecting the property?

For some odd reason, I just feel him.

She does that.

Where do we eat? What time is it? 43.

Oh, 43.

Like, why can't we eat? Can you guys get the girls down here so we can get this

lunch thing done, please?

Wow. Seriously. Yeah, we're not going to get along.

Vicki seems like she has this entitled attitude, like we're on her time.

You can eat if you'd like. No, I'm not going to eat.

She's being rude, honestly.

Do you want a piece of bread?

Thank you. I can't do the drinking with that.

Well, you don't have to do the drinking. I'm good at doing drinking.

Right. So then figure it out, you know? I am.

This is where we're going to sit at night.

Do you see her necklace?

Dorinda's style is very rich and luxurious.

It's decadent. It's like a chocolate cake with ice cream and whipped cream

nuts.

Lots of nuts.

You know what our vision was?

Marilyn Monroe meets Frankenstein. Well, that's a collaboration I really like.

Okay. Your presence has been requested at lunch. Okay, let's go.

Get on your face.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

There's blood everywhere.

Not everywhere. No, it's on your face.

No, it was on my hand.

It's on her face as well.

Oh, my God. This house is gorgeous.

It's amazing.

And every room is so unique. Yeah.

Right. So eclectic and very cool. Very cool. Thank you so much for having us.

Thank you for coming.

I saw your book in there.

Congratulations.

I made it nice.

So what's the premise of your book? I'm excited to read it.

Basically what it is, to tell you the truth, you know, is put on pause from

Bravo. Why do you say on pause instead of I'm not fired?

Here's the thing. Andy called me and said, we're going to put you on pause

year. This kind of pause.

I'm not really sure.

I'm like, menopause, bitch?

Are you going to repress play?

I mean, pause.

Not renewed.

Whatever makes you feel better.

I was fired.

Stomped. To the ground.

And the best people in the world have been fired. Totally fine.

I was absolutely fired.

There's no such thing as pause. You were fired.

Why did I just realize that none of us are no longer on any of our shows? How

did you know? I don't know!

Yeah,

I mean, you know, you learn something every day.

How did you guys meet? She's known me since I was a kid. I must have been 17

when I first met you. I met her through my brother Malcolm.

And to this day, like in the car, my mom's like, tell Phaedra hi.

Thank you.

Yeah, yeah, I'm good.

It's afternoon and we're already drinking. Let's really hope we can all

this together.

Especially Brandy. I got my drinking partner.

I'm good.

I got my car taken away when I took you last time.

I do crazy.

I don't think you need any help, girl, doing crazy stuff. I'm just going to

No, I've calmed down a lot since.

You guys know each other from, like, Beverly Hills, yeah. Ooh, please fill us

in.

Please do.

Taylor, I so want to have, like, a personal, like, private conversation

because I admit, like, it's kind of, like, going backwards a little bit.

Oh, is it strange?

Well, it was. Maybe it's a private conversation.

Yeah. When Brandi first came on the show, it was a lot of tension between

two of us. It honestly wasn't between the two of us. It was between me and

everyone. You're trashy and you're classless. Seriously, you're a bitch.

Stop.

She's not a bitch.

We're all trailer park compared to you. No, you're the only one in here like

that.

It was second season and no one liked me.

I mean, ultimately, Taylor and I are going to have to have a serious

conversation. Hopefully it doesn't go both housewives, because I would like to

get along with her. I just know that, oh, gee, Orange County, that's where it

started. I was 42 years old, and I'm 59 now.

You're 59? Ma 'am, you are the baddest 60 -year -old.

And you're coming from a black girl who knows that black don't crack. And baby,

you are giving.

And Kamala, you are giving.

Baby, 60 never look better. And she's going through a lot, so glowing and

is not easy. I'll do the glowing. I'll take that. But Eva, you're strong.

If someone says, I don't want to be present in your life, if someone says,

not sure, if someone says these words as your lover, if someone lays in your

bed, they're gone.

It felt like you were just like kind of thrown into the majors, into the deep

end, but you didn't have your floaties and you didn't know you were going into

water. Well, that's this moment.

Like, what is going on? I have something to say about that. Do you have a new

bow? No, that's what I'm saying. Such a strong, wonderful woman.

I hate that indecision.

I don't let people be wishy -washy about me. You got to teach Vicky some of

those. Because you either want me or you don't. I don't have a lot of gray, but

I don't have a lot of gray in my life. In fact, when people are wishy -washy

with me, it makes me hate them.

Yay!

She should be desperate.

Vicki's being wishy -washy. I want her to sit down and say, this asshole is

treating me like shit.

And we can be like, yeah!

We should hang him at the stake.

Yeah!

Listen, f*** him, okay? You're the prize.

This time here is going to be good healing to be able to get to my next

Do you want to lap dance? I'm kidding.

Don't worry, Vicki. We're going to get your mind off of everything. We're going

to have so much fun. I will say, like, a naked party, like, we're all moms at

this table. We've all had a naked party. No, I have not. I've never been in a

naked party. That's not my question.

Oh, okay.

But you can wait for it.

Do you want to go to a naked party? No, I have no desire.

No, but that's the point.

I'm never going to be in a naked party with these girls. I'm very comfortable

my beautiful brown skin, so hey, let's do it. Listen, you do naked, but I can't

join in. I may do a little naked after a couple drinks.

I've been in pajamas for a year and a half. I want to see some naked people.

Just met you. I know you kiss and tell.

So, I don't know if I want to get naked with you right off the bat.

Bleach afterwards.

Yeah, a little bleach, I can do it.

I got stories to tell after this, that's for sure.

Have you ever been with a woman?

Never. Not ever?

Never. Have you? Yeah, of course. Do you like that?

Yeah. More than boys or girls?

I think I like boys more, but in general, I'm just a sexual creature.

Me too.

But I'm good with men. So you've been on the other side of the train? Yeah, of

course. Okay. Are you kidding me right now? Do you guys not watch Beverly

Denise Richards?

Does that ring a bell?

Women are so beautiful to me. I think that Vicky needs me to guide her

through her sexual life because she's in love every second because of the dick.

I'm good with penises. I'm good.

You can get dick without love.

It happens.

We should wrap up anyway.

Let me know if you need anything, you're missing anything.

You are the most gracious host. Very. Thank you so much.

And then we can meet, I think, at 7 or a little later. It doesn't matter.

We don't go anywhere. We have nowhere to go, according to Vicki. We have nowhere

to go but up.

Are you going to go? I have a lot of unpacking to do.

I'm coming. My feet are right behind you. Watch.

What are you guys doing in here?

We are making dinner.

I need to go take a sleep.

Yeah, so I guess we're going to chill out for a second. Yeah, chill out. We

to get that luggage up. Yeah, we got to find a man.

Marco needs to get together.

I know Phaedra, and I've gotten to know Dorinda, but I don't know anyone else.

And you I know of from being the spitfire on your show.

I know of Vicky.

Since I've been here, she's been so incredibly exhausting. No, but she

where she's preoccupied.

She has her stuff.

Then don't come.

I'm freaking weak with these people. Why are you so long?

Becky just wants to be negative.

It reminds me of something I don't like. She doesn't want to be naked. I think

we talked about that. No, not naked. Negative.

So are y 'all sharing this room? Yeah.

This little bitty band? Yep.

Well, y 'all was going to be in a relationship before.

My God.

They could have put you and Brandy in one room.

I don't know, honey. She was talking about some interesting escapades. I

I'm no prude by any means. No, no, no. No, I get it. I get it. You know, some

us are a little more freer than others. I'm in bondage when it comes to that

wild stuff.

See? Hello.

Yeah.

I need a hug.

How was that? It was so good.

It's the first day, and everyone's, like, kind of on their best behavior.

Oh, no, it'll change.

Maybe you came to my room. Oh, me too. I need a moment of my own. Not that

you're, like, I'm literally, like, the same age as you.

No, no, but I have a bit of a mother, right?

Yeah, you're, like, the voice of reason, and it's very sweet.

I consider myself personally almost like a housewife whisperer. And my bed is a

welcoming place. You know what my bed is? It's like the United Nations.

This is where people come to talk.

They come to tell me what they think, how they're feeling.

I just think it's a safe place.

I don't know. I don't want to go full house with my own anyone. But Vicki, she

came in with like a somber situation.

And listen, if she doesn't want to have fun, we'll just leave her out.

No, we went going around.

Best language.

Oh, hi. No, come on in. I was just bringing a gift.

Oh, thank you.

What is this?

I got a little hangover kit in there.

Perfect.

Tiny dancer, get in here.

I know. Are you sure you like me?

I do. I think I do.

Because I found that, like, when we were talking across the board, we kept

nodding at each other.

I am who I am, and I say how I feel. I'm, like, nice, but if I'm pushed, I'm

nice. Right. So it's just that simple.

So if you're not pushed and you say something about me that... You said,

was unstable in the press? I didn't say that. That's not what I said. You're

talking about Kelly Dodd. And I said, Kelly's like the new Brandy. Like, you

just say things and don't even think about consequences or anything. And I

she's just very outgoing.

She pushes the envelope, things like that. I never said you were unstable.

Are you sure? Nope.

Are you sure? Because I literally remember you saying I was unstable.

You did.

Nope. I never said anything like that. But then you took it to a whole other

level. Like, you called me a sociopath.

Yeah. You said all these things. Like, I'm like, you don't even know me. Like,

you talked about my kids. You talked about my granddaughter.

Like, you went deep.

Tamara, I think you're a coward. Please don't ever DM me again.

Ever. Yeah, sometimes people go low, but you're lower.

Like, we're on the sidewalk. You're in the gutter. Maybe you should go hang out

with your grandkids.

I mean, do the grandkids talk to her?

You started it.

You can't.

Speak about someone and not expect them to react.

I never said you were unstable.

And if I did, I totally apologize, but not that I remember whatsoever.

I might have said Kelly was unstable at the time. Maybe I said that, but I did

not say that about you.

I wasn't trying. to insult her. I really wasn't. I was just saying he has a big

mouth. Am I buying what Tamara's saying?

Not really.

But I think it's easy to get in fights with people online when you don't know

them. I do it all the time.

In all honesty, like, I don't want to fight with you. I don't barely even know

you. We don't know each other. That's the whole thing.

Yeah. Like, oh my God, I think that we could be friends.

Yeah. I mean, I hope that we can be friends. Okay.

I think that the week's going to go okay. If I'm nice to Brandy, I think

be fine. I just, I got to know how to play her.

I'm good at that.

Like, we're here to show a different side of us, and I feel like that's what

need to do.

Yeah, and let goes on.

What do we wear tonight?

Like, what is this?

It's perfect.

A clam bake.

No, we don't. Yeah, we don't really do clam bake.

Is it that foreign to people, a New England clam bake? Have I lived in New

England for too long?

My nails are

not for cracking anything.

They're for beauty.

I want to experience it, and I want to enjoy this, but I'm going to need some

help. It's a low -country voyeur. It's a low -country voyeur, but with New

England style. Let's go.

Well, this room is very eclectic. I like it.

I'm going to go get dressed. I don't know what to wear. I didn't even know

baked clam.

I'm guessing that I'm in it very fast.

Stay tuned. I have no idea.

But I might be naked.

Brandy is exactly how I thought she'd be. Vicky's a little bit of an asshole.

She's not somebody I'd choose to hang around with.

Vicky, I know that things are tough right now with Steve, but she needs to

her party pants on.

She needs to whoop it up. This is a very motley crew.

And I'm not talking about the rock man. But I think it's going to be very

lively, shall we say.

All right.

Let's go.

I don't like being late.

Oh, shoot. We weren't supposed to wear our shoes on the car.

This is so pretty.

How are you? Hi. How are you? Can I get you a bruschetta? Sure.

Look at this little lounge.

We don't need our jacket.

Oh, you look so pretty.

Oh, I didn't know what to wear because I've never been to a Clambake before. I

haven't either.

What does one wear to a Clambake?

I mean, you're always very stylish. You look great. I like that jacket. It is

what it is. Oh, that's Scott. Let's have a talk.

Button up your shirt. That looks silly.

Well, I didn't mean to have it open that far.

Well, hello.

Hello, Lighty. Hello.

How fun is that chair? I know. Oh, yes, boo.

Woo -hoo.

Yes. Woo -hoo. You guys ready for some din -din? Yeah. How are you?

I'm good. I'm good.

Nothing like a good shower, right?

I know.

You're in like a church in a minute.

Do you want to have a talk right here with the fire pit? Oh, yeah. I want to

clear up all of the drama that I have with Taylor and move forward and have

Her and I really had gotten along, and she had my back a lot.

Do not put your finger in my face. I'm going to get my finger in your face,

Really?

Threaten me.

No, no, no.

Stop it. Enough.

You're a slut. No one is touching you. You know, let bygones be bygones.

I'm super happy to see you, by the way.

I am. I was very apprehensive, I'm sure, as you were a little. I haven't seen

you in years.

Correct. And then I saw you on Watch What Happens Live.

Andy asked you about me, and you're like... Taylor, let's spin it for you.

Last time you spoke to... Brandi Glanville.

Never, and thank you.

You were just kind of mean. I was like, oh, my gosh, is that still actually, I

guess, a thing?

So I guess because we never really mended fences, I really didn't know if

a thing or not. But I thought if we did talk again, it would probably be

conflict again and just something that I didn't want to do.

Filming the show was so much pressure to begin with. And then my home life was

pressure, too. I felt like... I was the weakest one on the show because of what

I was going through. And then when you and I would fight, I would just feel

like, go after somebody strong.

That season that I came on was the worst time of my life.

Like, honestly.

I was going through an incredibly hard divorce.

Then I'm on a TV show where a man that I know died and is then accused of

beating this person. And I'm caught in the middle. That is the worst year of my

life. It's actually unbelievable that she would really be looking me in the

and saying that that was a really tough year for her.

Cry me a river.

I came out of game night, everyone hating me and being horrible to me, into

Russell in that situation.

Right. And you and I not getting along.

Right. And I just thought I was on the Ferris wheel of hell.

Me too.

Yeah. I mean, I can't imagine what you were going through.

I'm sharing with you what I was going through. I didn't not like you.

I just didn't understand how quickly you got over things. I was so devastated.

Why would you go on TV with that happening?

Well, in retrospect, and I don't know if I was making a conscious decision, but

I thought maybe the cameras would protect me in some way. If he was on

then maybe he would behave.

Absolutely.

So you just wanted to out it to protect yourself?

I did not want to out it ever.

When Camille outed the abuse at Lisa's tea party.

Because we don't say that he hits you.

Because we don't say that he broke your jaw or that he beat you up and he hit

you. We don't say that, but now we said it. I never wanted that to come out,

never. I was terrified.

I mean, he used to tell me, I'm afraid I'm going to kill you someday.

And the minute it happened, I was in shock. I didn't even have any idea what

say because I just thought, we're never going to be able to put this back in the

box now. It's done.

Not that I didn't believe you, but I didn't know what was real.

Is this girl just here for reality TV and throwing up? Has it been under the

bus? That is the most insensitive and horrible thing you can say to someone

who's being abused.

Maybe she should take a look back and realize I had reconstructive surgery on

face. So it's not that easy to fake.

I just want to talk to you about this so much because I have such love for you.

Well, thank you for that. I feel like we always had fun together.

We did. It was either fun or treachery. Fighting. Right.

We don't have to be best friends, but I'm glad I got everything off my chest.

Hopefully we can at least be cordial. But I want to talk to you more.

Yeah, for sure. Well, thank you for taking the time and for opening the

want to understand.

Well, thank you for opening the door.

I love you.

Apparently she's walking away with some form of resolution.

I'm actually more pissed than when I even showed up here. Taylor, would you

a top up?

Yeah, sure. They're making me do it. You're doing it.

Dinner is about to be served. Yay.

Oh, Jordan is at the head.

Oh, I love this.

Oh, we are a play set.

How are you cozy in your room?

Yes. I love it. Okay, good. My big buddy's making his chair sink into the

ground. Hey, mine did too.

I got to say, that's the sexiest dress we've had at the table in New England

a long time. You are raising some pilgrims.

Yes.

What's this cute little thing here? I think it's a fortune cookie.

Okay, I guess we're going to start the question period. Okay, go ahead.

I like a great icebreaker at a dinner.

Games are fun, and it kind of makes you feel familiar with the group.

I'll ask the first question. Okay.

What is your biggest insecurity?

My biggest insecurity is to be irrelevant.

Really? Wow. I get that. To be relevant. No, let's just jump into this. She

still wants to be on Housewives. What's your take? No, that's not true.

That is not true, Brandon.

You need to back that up. No.

No.

That is not right.

God forbid.

I forgot that she's on pause. She's in denial.

I didn't mean it in a bad way. No, no, but that's not true. No, I mean

irrelevant, like, in the world.

You want to leave a legacy.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Pretty, pretty, pretty.

Thank you very much.

Let me take care of these lobsters for you guys. I like watching you do it.

But they didn't crack them. I can help you crack them. Let me show you like a

good New Englander, okay?

Yes. Yes. You better handle it. We can handle it.

They're looking at the lobster like it's still alive. Like it's not going to

unbreak itself, girl.

You watch what you did. You take the body.

I'm very turned on right now. I don't know. I'm very turned on.

And crack it. Oh, you're exciting.

Yes. Right now.

I kind of had to get the party started there. I'm a cracker.

Well, it's got to be. Got to get the meat out, honey.

Ew.

Ma 'am, that cannot be CDC compliant.

Like, you are outside the guidelines, I'm sure. And I'm not eating that beef.

Oh, my God.

It's actually very attractive.

Oh, really?

Oh, yeah, girl.

Well, I know how to stick my fingers deep.

Very sweet.

Put it in your mouth. Put it in your mouth.

There's something about serving Phaedra a succulent lobster tail that I just

don't like doing.

You know, those luscious, beautiful lips, the lobster tail, the dripping

I'd say you had to buy me dinner first, but since I'm at your multi -million

dollar lavish estate, honey, put your fingers in my mouth, stick them up my

if you want to. I'm here for it all.

Well,

make it sexy.

All right.

Dorinda's going to make it nice. You're going to make it sad. That is very

sweet, isn't it? Was that sweet?

Taylor, we have cotton candy for you.

Do you really?

But I will get you some.

I know you will. I really do hope you know that I appreciate that season.

It was so weird for me to be even on it.

hated and it was so disgusting for me what what why is brandy bringing this

up again and in front of everyone your season season two that the one that i

came on as like it was so horrible difficult horrible it was the worst like

time of my life my husband died oh yeah that was so bad i literally on

my life Had the worst year of my life last season.

No, she did. No, she did. No, you did.

She did. You're like, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm saying it's my first as a friend of like coming into the thing. I'm like.

Why was it a bad season for you? Her husband committed suicide. So that was a

horrible season for you?

Yes.

What? I knew them. I love them. Like, what do you mean?

How could you even say that with a straight face?

It was insane. I know, but didn't you make fun of her for writing a book about

Russell's death?

No, I didn't. Right after... You didn't?

Yes, you did.

At the reunion.

She's a single mom now. How dare you talk like that? And one second.

By the way, bitch?

Yes.

Absolutely not. But you're fighting her, bitch, right now?

No. No, you said that I exploited the situation and wrote a book in a hot

after. I think in that moment that you kind of did.

I did not. What you don't know is any backstory because you don't ask

You just make assumptions.

I liked all of you. I liked Russell.

I liked you. I liked Kennedy.

So there's no way that I was the one that did something wrong.

But what you didn't take the time to understand is I had no money. He hid all

the money from me. And in the interim, I had a daughter in private school. And I

was standing there with no way to take care of myself. Because that's why I

wrote the...

Look, because I had to get an advance so I could eat and support my child. It

wasn't because I was like, let me grind this into the ground. They gave me a

window. My publisher said, we will give you an advance if you write this book

before the reunion.

And you got to do what you got to do.

I did not know that.

Because you don't ask questions sometimes.

Bitch, I was a friend of... Don't keep saying bitch. You've got to stop with

that. That's not nice.

That's not nice. You're talking to someone who's a widow. You've got to

that. It doesn't matter if you're a friend of or a friend.

I want you to understand where I was coming from.

Russell happened.

I was making no money. There was no reason for me... What does that have to

with you making money or not making money? Shut up right now.

Why are you swearing at me? You don't talk that way to me. I will talk.

I ask you just a question.

No, you will not talk that way to me ever.

Let's get that straight.