All language subtitles for The.Real.Housewives.Ultimate.Girls.TripS02E1

Get you back.

I tell it like it is, but I always make
it nice.

Okay, Julius, keep it moving. We've got
to get this going now. The racehorse is

ready to go. The racehorse is ready to
go. Listen, everybody loves Bluestone

Manor. It's almost like Cinderella's
Castle at this point. People are like,

my God, do you love Bluestone Manor?
They don't think it's real.

So to have these iconic women from all
different franchises and places coming

this house for eight days and let the
world experience it, man, what more

you ask for?

You can't always get what you want, but
I can.

All right, guys, well, y 'all know I'm
going on a trip with my girlfriends next

week. Where?

I'm going to the Berkshires.

Where's that?

It's up in Massachusetts.

You're going to be missing me. I know
you, Ideal Bill.

Hey, I'm missing, too.

Yeah, okay.

I'm expecting to have a good time. We
all have had experiences, good, bad,

and indifferent.

And so we should connect, you know, with
the journey of being housewife. You

better get all the snuggles you can
before I go.

I live a model life. Now I'm ready to be
a top wife.

Marley. Yeah. Oh, a tooth came out. It
came out.

Yeah. You have to tell us so we can keep
the door unlocked for Tooth Fairy. You

want to get your money, right?

You'll have no teeth and no money. Eva,
take one. Marker.

Google. Siri.

Where are the Berkshires?

What the fuck is a Berkshire?

You're a winner, and you're already in
the bag. You're asking me to go away on

girl's trip with one person I know, Faye
Drung, who I've known for a zillion

years, and five other suspects. I need
to have my weed. Guess what?

Weed is legal in Massachusetts.

I'm so excited. That is one of the
things I'm excited about. What I do need

to do is get it legal here.

It may look like I have it all, but I
want more.

Mom, don't.

Bring those shoes.

They're ugly.

I like these shoes. No. They're Louis
Vuitton. They look like safari shoes.

Safari? Yeah. Well, maybe. I don't know
what the Berkshires are like. Maybe I'll

be going on a safari.

I like it.

So very different now than it was back
in the day on Beverly Hills.

Now I live in Orange County.

My daughter is now 15, and I am
remarried. I'm never away from my

I'm a little bit nervous, but I'm also
excited to see the legendary Bluestone

Manor. I think a trip to the Berkshires
is going to be unusual because I've

never been there before, but Dorinda
seems...

elegant and classy. Dickie's going to be
there and she's a good friend.

Tamara and I have always had a nice
relationship. I don't know Phaedra and

at all.

And then there's Brandy. If I need
rescued, you have to come in by

I'd rather spend my life kicking out
than kissing it.

Are you nervous about me being on TV
again?

You're fine.

Do you have any rules?

Don't throw alcohol at people.

That was a one -time thing. Going into
this trip, I really want to show

who I am. I'm not that crazy drunk girl
all the time anymore. I have my drinking

under control.

I really think that I've calmed down. I
mean, I have moments.

As calm as you can be. It's like the
Incredible Hulk. I don't want the Hulk

come out. I wonder if the Hulk has a
penis.

I wonder, like, if he's anatomically
correct.

Please, stop.

These days... Faith, family, and fitness
are the only Fs I give.

Oh, my God.

One of my favorite people in the whole
entire world.

I know.

Before you judge me, you better be
perfect.

Woo -hoo!

Sorry I missed your birthday last week,
but we're going to have fun. I know.

Hi. Do I have to say hi?

It was really hard for me when I got the
news that I was, like, over 12 years of

my life, I was a housewife. And then I
got the call, would you be on the All

-Star cast? And I'm like...

Okay. I've never been to the Berkshire,
Berk, what's it called?

I don't know. Some mansion Hamptons. I
don't think it's the Hamptons. I think

it's in a different state, sweetheart.

Massachusetts. I've never been. Wait,
how do you say it?

Massachusetts. Massachusetts.

Massachusetts. I've never been there.
I've been asked, like, why am I an ex

-housewife? I can't answer it. I'm not
ready to be done. But they thought

of me to bring me back for the ex -wife
club.

TV show. Wait, what is it called? On
this trip, we're going to whoop it up.

Oh, my God, what a beautiful day.

Just in the nick of time.

I'm excited that they're all about to
arrive, but I'm exhausted.

More furniture, just what I don't need.
I'll get someone to help you. I've been

preparing for five full days, but panic
preparing.

Gift baskets, flowers, landscaping. And
to tell you the truth, I feel like I'm

almost about...

to do a wedding weekend.

It's got that energy. It's no longer a
house. It's a full working event space.

Marco?

Is Marco here?

Marco. Yes, I was looking for you,
Marco. Were you already hiding from me?

little bit.

I'm ready for you. We should probably
have some nice wine.

Some white wine, some rosé.

So is this basically vegetarian?

They're chicken.

They're going to be a chicken with a
ratatouille.

Marco, you've got to be present because
you've got to hear everything.

This is the rules of the house of
Bluestone Manor. When the lady of the

here, you're present.

And you take note. When you leave, you
execute.

I realize I have to reach out and get
some help. So I decided to bring on

But would you like me to prepare
champagne for when the ladies arrive? I

love that. I need a right -hand man, I
need a left -hand man, I need several

right -hand men, but Marco's going to
have to do. Is it cold?

Uh, no.

Can't serve warm wine, sir. Also, he's
very good -looking.

So this is Jill? This is now Jill. Okay.

Will you be the keeper of the key? Okay,
okay. No one thinks she's coming. It's

a surprise tomorrow. Okay. So don't blow
it.

Okay. Jill Darn is going to join us a
day later because it's a Jewish holiday.

So we decided to keep it a secret so we
could surprise the other ladies. I think

we should eat outdoors.

It's so beautiful now. So have them set
the table for seven. All right, let's

go. Bluestone Manor is a very special
place. You enter those doors and

happens. How many beautiful memories
over the years have been made at

Manor? You are a hypocrite. You f***
everyone.

You drunken fool. You have a mugshot of
your drunkenness.

I made money. You didn't have any money.

I was so.

Mouth to mouth.

Is he dead?

Get over it. They got you. Had it.

You don't touch the pink Morgan letters.

I decorated.

I cooked.

I made it nice.

Ready, set.

Here we go.

Buckle up, bitches.

It's game time, bitches.

Are you warm at all?

No. I feel like I'm, like, warm.

I hope there's a lot of hangers for our
clothes.

Shall we?

Shall we proceed?

Give them what they need.

Can that booty go all the way over
there?

Make it across.

Let's go.

I'm excited.

I don't know. No, I mean, I've met
Dorenda. All of the people we're linking

with. Dorenda seems hella cool.

Kenya was telling me Brandi Glanville is
an interesting character. I don't know

that. Kenya from our show in Atlanta
warned me, stay away from Brandi. She's,

like, crazy.

If Kenya says you're crazy, oh, you're
batshit crazy.

But I do like attractive people. I don't
want to be scared when I wake up. You

like them cute.

I don't like them.

So how long is the trip?

Back to... To Rindo's? Oh, it's about an
hour and a half.

Oh, okay.

Do you have a driver's license?

I do have a driver's license.

I'm just joking.

Do you know Brandy?

No, Brandy says that we're vile. I don't
even know her.

Okay, here's what I know. This week I'll
be hosting Taylor, Brandy, Vicki,

Tamara, Phaedra, Eva, and one mystery
guest, Jill.

Taylor had issues with Brandy from when
they were on Beverly Hills. Now she

lives in Orange County where she's
friends with Vicki and Tamara, who had a

blow -up in the past but are currently
on good terms.

Tamara and Brandy don't really know each
other, but have beef at their social

media battle. I know Phaedra a little
bit, but I never met her good friend,

She's most excited to meet Brandy. And
Eva, Phaedra, and Brandy are all

Scorpios, which has nothing to do with
anything, but it comes up a lot.

I definitely know Brandy. She's just so
outrageous, and she does it, I think,

for shock factor more than anything.

You know her well because you've dealt
with her, right?

Absolutely, yeah. My last memories of
Brandy were not pleasant. I was going

through the absolute worst time in my
life. When did the abuse in your

relationship start?

When I was pregnant.

I was filing for a divorce, and also
Russell committed suicide. And Brandy

along on the show and kicks me while I'm
down. She said...

some stuff after Russell died and how I
wrote a book and that it had been like a

hot minute.

When's the book come out anyway?

How long has it been? Why do you think
it's inappropriate that she wrote a

It's been like a hot minute.

I don't know. With her... She could be
just one of those dogs that like to

though. Hello?

Hi!

Very excited you're coming.

Oh, me too. I know that you and I will
have fun. I do have a little anxiety

about the other girl. Not Phaedra or
Eva. I'm excited to see them.

I just... The other three...

Taylor and I, you know, old issues, and
then Tamara, newer issues.

With Tamara, I've had some beef with her
on Twitter.

Her and I had some issues online,
definitely.

She called me unstable.

She called me a sociopath.

Yeah, it got a little ugly.

I don't really like Vicky either. I've
got to get some air on me. It's not hot

in here.

It's hot in here. No, it's not.

Then why does it feel hot in here?

Taylor and I have the most history.

I have not seen her since we worked
together on Housewives, so I have a

trepidation there.

I would just come in, take a deep
breath.

I got your back.

Okay, my arm is getting tired because
I'm out of shape. I'll see you in a

bit.

It's really pretty.

We're very far away from home. You
think? We are very far away.

Why would anybody live out here in the
middle of nowhere?

Where do you go shopping?

We're at HomeGood. We're at Target.

We're at the grocery store.

I see nothing.

Oh.

Hello?

Hi. Welcome to the Berkshires.

Well, we're about ten minutes away.

Yay! Hey, listen, I just got off the
phone with Brandy. She's a little

so we need to be nice.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait. Back that ass up.

Wait. We need to be nice?

She's feeling a little tentative, so we
don't want to have a girl gang thing

going on. Hey, you've got to be kidding
me.

The world's ultimate backstabber is
nervous about seeing one of the nicest

people on the planet.

Okay.

Tell it to the judge, because I don't
believe that. And I don't mean to hammer

judge. I don't have any intention.

No, we're fine, Dorinda. We're all going
to go in at night. Well, I can't wait

to see if the place is ready.

Okay, we'll see you soon. Bye.

I'm excited.

Yay!

Does she live here full time?

I would go nuts out here. What does she
do?

There's got to be bugs everywhere.

Look at these gates.

They're so cool. Kind of creepy, like
kind of spooky, huh? It's the, what's it

called, what's it called, groggles?

Gorgile? Gorgiles.

Gargoyles. Gargoyles.

Gargoyles. Gargoyles.

Oh my gosh, look at this.

They've arrived!

Wow, this is incredible.

I can't believe it.

Hi.

I can't believe we're finally here.

Hi.

Thank you so much for having us. Here's
the girl.

Hi, honey. Hello.

You look great. Thank you. How are you?

Oh, my gosh, you guys, you girls are so
glamorous.

Oh, come on in.

I am so happy you're here. Welcome.

Do you want the bigger shoes off?

Downstairs, no, only upstairs.

Okay. And I have slippers for everybody.
Oh, my goodness.

Come on in.

They'll bring up all your luggage. We've
got slippers in everybody's rooms. Your

house, your rules. I put this very
beautifully and well -made plaque in

everyone's room. Very simple rules to
follow.

No shoes upstairs.

No food or beverage upstairs.

Obvious, but if they're confused.

So, Vicki and you, Campbell, you're
here.

Oh, beautiful.

Be very close. I'm going to be rubbing
your back. Taylor, you're going to have

nice, quiet room.

Taylor, Taylor.

That's spooky. That chandelier is
spooky.

And this is the birdcage room. So,
you're here. Oh, my God. I love that

wallpaper. I thought you would.

It makes me feel like a little girl
again. You're right. That's what I

Except my room was not this nice when I
was a little girl.

So, have you spoken to any of the other
ladies?

preparation for everything?

Well, you know what? Not really,
because...

I like to go into a situation with a
clear head and no preconceived notions

about stuff. There is this, and I know
you know it, that little anxiety thing

that comes on you when you know you're
about to go film. You know, Atlanta

fights. Atlanta fights. They come with
gowns and gloves, and you don't see the

gloves until they're swinging.

The housewives of Atlanta, honey, you
would think you took away World War II.

I'm just hoping that none of that
happens here.

I deal with people how they deal with
me. So somebody's bad experience with

somebody does not mean I'm going to have
a bad experience. So we're going to go

ahead and put that on a greeting card.

I'm going in with a clean slate on all
these girls. Me too.

This is where I do a lot of entertaining
and hosting.

Now, did you buy that picture?

No, the artist came up here and lived
here for like two weeks and painted it.

Why is there a dead deer there? Right?

So basically, it's sort of like the
ground, life.

which you take from the earth, you know,
and her prosperity.

So everybody's dead there? All the
animals are dead?

I guess.

Let's see.

Are you scared when you're alone here?

No. I come here a lot, as much as I can.

And I'll tell you what's nice about...
What do you do here?

Well, I have my family here.

Vicki, I didn't expect her to sort of
dive into the negativity so quickly. She

kind of burst my bubble. And you know,
folks, I don't like my bubble burst.

Because when my bubble bursts... I broke
back.

How was the ride here? Perfect.

It was nice. It was pretty.

It was really pretty.

I just want to know if there's a place
that we can, like, whoop it up at around

here. What do you mean? She's single
now.

It just happened yesterday.

So wait a second.

Let's go sit outside.

We can go sit by the pool for a little
bit.

So what happened? You broke up with
Steve yesterday? No, he broke up with

Really? Yeah. I thought you guys were,
like, engaged. We are.

Oh, you are? Okay, I don't know.
We're... Wow, look at this.

Yay, maybe we should just get married
tonight.

It's so pretty.

Let's do it.

Steve and I were together almost six
years, engaged for two and a half. We

now officially broken up.

My heart is broken, and I don't know
what happened.

A year ago, I bought a place in Mexico,
and he decided to live there more than

California, so I would go back and forth
and back and forth. In your place?

Uh -huh.

Without her. Well, that's a warning
sign.

And then he's like, you can come here
and see me. You know where I'm at.

no one else involved.

He says no, but I don't. I mean, I have
a ring. We got engaged. We didn't have a

wedding date. Did you have to give it
back?

God, no.

There's no giving back.

But so anyways.

I'm not sure about the rules on that.

I think that you have to give it back.
Unless you got it.

It does not matter who breaks up. I've
always heard when you break up a

relationship, you have to give the ring
back.

If the guy breaks up with you, then you
keep it. If you break up with him, then

you have to give it back.

I say always give it back. End it all.

I'm never giving the ring back. I bought
it. The ring that he could afford was

not what I wanted. So I'm good with
buying my own ring.

How's your sex life?

We haven't had sex in 13 months.

Oh, my God.

Every time I touch his wee -wee, he's
like, I'm not there right now.

I don't like the fact that it's a wee
-wee. I just want to be respectful. No,

he's very good. The wee -wee?

There's the problem. Maybe we could come
up with a little stronger name, like

his duke, or I don't know, like Dallian.

Oh, my darling, I can't wait to sleep
with you tonight and take out my massive

wee -wee.

What?

Is that it?

I thought it was called Graystone Manor,
and it would make more sense because

all of the stones are gray.

Bluestone Manor looks beautiful, but I
watch all of the housewife shows, so I

have seen trips to Dorinda's house.
Yeah, it seems like it always goes left.

Well, it was lovely chatting with you,
and we'll get a burger on the way back.

Cheers, ladies.

Cheers. Let's make the best of it.
Knock, knock.

Come on in.

Oh, perfect. Hi.

Hello. How are you? I'm good. How are
you? Good.

I don't want to take wine before I see
the lady of the house.

Hello?

They're out back. Would you like me to
take you? Oh, well, then I'll take wine.

Then I'll lead the way. Perfect.

What's your name? Marco.

Marco. Off the line brandy.

Okay, do I go this way?

Yeah.

One of my friends. Oh, here's someone
here.

Hi.

We know each other very well. I don't
even think we've ever met.

But anyway, hello.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

Good to see you. This is Brandi. I know
Taylor. Hi, of course. How are you?

Yes. Hi. I don't know you really, but we
have a little bone to pick with each

other. But we'll get to that.

I'm joking. I'm joking.

Brandi, I am scared shitless.

I mean, I have met my match with this
one.

Like, what is she going to do to me?

Am I going to have to sleep with one eye
open?

Let me show you your room.

Yeah, I think they're close. Let's start
moving in.

She was very pleasant. I thought she
was, too. Very sweet.

I'm so confused.

She did say she needs to sort something
out with you, though.

She didn't say anything to me, though. I
was a little surprised.

She gets fueled by fire with a few
drinks. So we'll see. Let's see how the

goes. I want to show you your thing.

Come on.

Where are you?

The house has many wings.

Oh, my God, I love it. It's like the
Magic Castle.

I don't know where you're going. You're
here.

Oh, I love it.

So this is your bedroom. This is your
gift box. Yay, I'm so excited. You have

sign this for me. I did.

Oh, good.

Yeah, I mean, I get a pull -out sofa.

I'm on vacation.

You give me a pull -out couch.

I thought Dorinda liked me.

Should we put our stuff in our room?

Yeah. Do you want your purse? Yeah.

Vicki, she just broke up with Steve
yesterday.

This guy doesn't sound right. Who wants
to be with a guy you have to beg?

There's cupcakes with our face on them.

Why don't you eat me and I'll eat you?

Okay, that's weird, but if that's what
you want to do.

It's very Brandy and Denise.

You ready?

I'm ready.

Let's play.

Yes, this home is already gorgeous,
honey. Is this where we're going?

Welcome. Hi.

Hey.

The last car has arrived.

We have arrived. Oh, fabulous.

Oh, my God.

Oh,

my God.

Thank you for having us.

Hey, ladies.

Hi. Hi, I'm Eva. I'm Candy. Nice to meet
you, gorgeous.

Listen, I know you from Celebrity Big
Brother. I know you from McDonald's. And

you were just on that show.

It might be different tomorrow, but get
into it today. A wig is the hair

accessory. You can change your look. You
can be Phaedra. You can be Fabergé. I

looked up your birthday and your
birthday.

Yeah. Scorpio. Oh, you're a Scorpio too?

I looked up. everyone star sign before I
left and I generally love other

Scorpios because they just kind of get
you. And Dorinda's a Sag.

So that's a good thing too.

I forgot the other ones. Who cares about
them anyway?

Oh, here they are.

So let me show you your room. I'm
putting you in the famous fish room.

Did you say fish?

adore you.

Absolutely adore you. You are
everything, Ms. Gombelson.

Everything. Thank you.

Not the OG of the OC.

Oh, my God. So excited.

I didn't even know who she was. Eva, no
clue.

Literally, I watch Housewives and I've
been a fan of the show because of Vicky.

All right. Let me run up, get settled,
and then come and play.

Girls, come eat. The bugs are getting
the food. Wait, is it hot out there

It's a little warm.

Yeah. Oh, my God. I love Eva's energy.
She's so cute.

Oh, gorgeous.

It is nice. It's like humid, but there's
a little breeze. I think there's a

breeze now. This is the famous fish room
that everybody... Fish room!

Everyone gave me grief about for years.

I've heard so much about this fish room.
I love it. Oh, but I love this fish.

Oh, my God. Jaws. And I know it's got
assorted pads, honey. If I'm in the fish

room, I'm going to freak out.

Why don't you go...

The swordfish. They're putting me in the
fish room.

I'm not afraid of sharks because I swam
with the sharks, honey. They were trying

to get away from me.

This is your room so you can do your
work.

Yes, this is gorgeous.

I thought you have space.

Just sit up here. It'll be quiet in the
morning. Oh, that's perfect. That's

perfect. That's all I need. I've been at
the Ricky Smalley Morning Show now for

three years. I work every single morning
live. I crack my mic at 6 a .m.

I'm not missing my job, even on the
girls' trip. Oh, my goodness. Did you

personalize me some jammies?

Absolutely. Thank you.

Have you guys hung out since, like, the
whole, since you guys left?

Oh, the show? Yeah, yeah. We only live,
like, ten minutes apart from each other.

We do see each other. We talk a lot. We
talk every day.

But I feel like as close as we all are,
we don't see each other. No, I always

have to check in on this one because
it's always something.

She's always about ready to pop a break.

Why not? Today included.

So you broke up with your boyfriend?

No, he broke up with me.

Is this the one that was on the show?

Yeah. Kind of a dick.

Randy, you don't even know Steve, and
that's rude.

I don't know, Vicki, but I watch his
show. I'm glad they broke up. She could

way better.

I didn't think he had a big enough
personality for you at all.

Okay. You need someone to be the boss of
you. Yeah. Because you're the boss of

everyone. You just need to find a really
strong man. Yeah. One that can, like,

kind of put you in a place.

We'll do that together. Maybe we'll go
on the apps later.

Okay. Well, we'll try.

This is my room, so if you need me, you
just come knock on here. Yes, ma 'am.

This tree has been here, so that's 120
years old. Oh, wow. And I decorated it.

And that's, it's Richard's 10 years, so
I thought we'd bless it and let them be

him. But when I sit there, I feel him.

Only there.

Really? Only there.

Who the hell is Richard?

I don't feel him so much in the house,
but he visits me there.

So my late husband, Richard Medley's
memorial was this year. What I've

over the last 10 years is I don't really
feel him when I'm in New York. I don't

really feel him when I'm at the
cemetery.

I feel him in the backyard at this one
tree.

It looks amazing.

Hey, Richard.

You protecting the property?

For some odd reason, I just feel him.

She does that.

Where do we eat? What time is it? 43.

Oh, 43.

Like, why can't we eat? Can you guys get
the girls down here so we can get this

lunch thing done, please?

Wow. Seriously. Yeah, we're not going to
get along.

Vicki seems like she has this entitled
attitude, like we're on her time.

You can eat if you'd like. No, I'm not
going to eat.

She's being rude, honestly.

Do you want a piece of bread?

Thank you. I can't do the drinking with
that.

Well, you don't have to do the drinking.
I'm good at doing drinking.

Right. So then figure it out, you know?
I am.

This is where we're going to sit at
night.

Do you see her necklace?

Dorinda's style is very rich and
luxurious.

It's decadent. It's like a chocolate
cake with ice cream and whipped cream

nuts.

Lots of nuts.

You know what our vision was?

Marilyn Monroe meets Frankenstein. Well,
that's a collaboration I really like.

Okay. Your presence has been requested
at lunch. Okay, let's go.

Get on your face.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

There's blood everywhere.

Not everywhere. No, it's on your face.

No, it was on my hand.

It's on her face as well.

Oh, my God. This house is gorgeous.

It's amazing.

And every room is so unique. Yeah.

Right. So eclectic and very cool. Very
cool. Thank you so much for having us.

Thank you for coming.

I saw your book in there.

Congratulations.

I made it nice.

So what's the premise of your book? I'm
excited to read it.

Basically what it is, to tell you the
truth, you know, is put on pause from

Bravo. Why do you say on pause instead
of I'm not fired?

Here's the thing. Andy called me and
said, we're going to put you on pause

year. This kind of pause.

I'm not really sure.

I'm like, menopause, bitch?

Are you going to repress play?

I mean, pause.

Not renewed.

Whatever makes you feel better.

I was fired.

Stomped. To the ground.

And the best people in the world have
been fired. Totally fine.

I was absolutely fired.

There's no such thing as pause. You were
fired.

Why did I just realize that none of us
are no longer on any of our shows? How

did you know? I don't know!

Yeah,

I mean, you know, you learn something
every day.

How did you guys meet? She's known me
since I was a kid. I must have been 17

when I first met you. I met her through
my brother Malcolm.

And to this day, like in the car, my
mom's like, tell Phaedra hi.

Thank you.

Yeah, yeah, I'm good.

It's afternoon and we're already
drinking. Let's really hope we can all

this together.

Especially Brandy. I got my drinking
partner.

I'm good.

I got my car taken away when I took you
last time.

I do crazy.

I don't think you need any help, girl,
doing crazy stuff. I'm just going to

No, I've calmed down a lot since.

You guys know each other from, like,
Beverly Hills, yeah. Ooh, please fill us

in.

Please do.

Taylor, I so want to have, like, a
personal, like, private conversation

because I admit, like, it's kind of,
like, going backwards a little bit.

Oh, is it strange?

Well, it was. Maybe it's a private
conversation.

Yeah. When Brandi first came on the
show, it was a lot of tension between

two of us. It honestly wasn't between
the two of us. It was between me and

everyone. You're trashy and you're
classless. Seriously, you're a bitch.

Stop.

She's not a bitch.

We're all trailer park compared to you.
No, you're the only one in here like

that.

It was second season and no one liked
me.

I mean, ultimately, Taylor and I are
going to have to have a serious

conversation. Hopefully it doesn't go
both housewives, because I would like to

get along with her. I just know that,
oh, gee, Orange County, that's where it

started. I was 42 years old, and I'm 59
now.

You're 59? Ma 'am, you are the baddest
60 -year -old.

And you're coming from a black girl who
knows that black don't crack. And baby,

you are giving.

And Kamala, you are giving.

Baby, 60 never look better. And she's
going through a lot, so glowing and

is not easy. I'll do the glowing. I'll
take that. But Eva, you're strong.

If someone says, I don't want to be
present in your life, if someone says,

not sure, if someone says these words as
your lover, if someone lays in your

bed, they're gone.

It felt like you were just like kind of
thrown into the majors, into the deep

end, but you didn't have your floaties
and you didn't know you were going into

water. Well, that's this moment.

Like, what is going on? I have something
to say about that. Do you have a new

bow? No, that's what I'm saying. Such a
strong, wonderful woman.

I hate that indecision.

I don't let people be wishy -washy about
me. You got to teach Vicky some of

those. Because you either want me or you
don't. I don't have a lot of gray, but

I don't have a lot of gray in my life.
In fact, when people are wishy -washy

with me, it makes me hate them.

Yay!

She should be desperate.

Vicki's being wishy -washy. I want her
to sit down and say, this asshole is

treating me like shit.

And we can be like, yeah!

We should hang him at the stake.

Yeah!

Listen, f*** him, okay? You're the
prize.

This time here is going to be good
healing to be able to get to my next

Do you want to lap dance? I'm kidding.

Don't worry, Vicki. We're going to get
your mind off of everything. We're going

to have so much fun. I will say, like, a
naked party, like, we're all moms at

this table. We've all had a naked party.
No, I have not. I've never been in a

naked party. That's not my question.

Oh, okay.

But you can wait for it.

Do you want to go to a naked party? No,
I have no desire.

No, but that's the point.

I'm never going to be in a naked party
with these girls. I'm very comfortable

my beautiful brown skin, so hey, let's
do it. Listen, you do naked, but I can't

join in. I may do a little naked after a
couple drinks.

I've been in pajamas for a year and a
half. I want to see some naked people.

Just met you. I know you kiss and tell.

So, I don't know if I want to get naked
with you right off the bat.

Bleach afterwards.

Yeah, a little bleach, I can do it.

I got stories to tell after this, that's
for sure.

Have you ever been with a woman?

Never. Not ever?

Never. Have you? Yeah, of course. Do you
like that?

Yeah. More than boys or girls?

I think I like boys more, but in
general, I'm just a sexual creature.

Me too.

But I'm good with men. So you've been on
the other side of the train? Yeah, of

course. Okay. Are you kidding me right
now? Do you guys not watch Beverly

Denise Richards?

Does that ring a bell?

Women are so beautiful to me. I think
that Vicky needs me to guide her

through her sexual life because she's in
love every second because of the dick.

I'm good with penises. I'm good.

You can get dick without love.

It happens.

We should wrap up anyway.

Let me know if you need anything, you're
missing anything.

You are the most gracious host. Very.
Thank you so much.

And then we can meet, I think, at 7 or a
little later. It doesn't matter.

We don't go anywhere. We have nowhere to
go, according to Vicki. We have nowhere

to go but up.

Are you going to go? I have a lot of
unpacking to do.

I'm coming. My feet are right behind
you. Watch.

What are you guys doing in here?

We are making dinner.

I need to go take a sleep.

Yeah, so I guess we're going to chill
out for a second. Yeah, chill out. We

to get that luggage up. Yeah, we got to
find a man.

Marco needs to get together.

I know Phaedra, and I've gotten to know
Dorinda, but I don't know anyone else.

And you I know of from being the
spitfire on your show.

I know of Vicky.

Since I've been here, she's been so
incredibly exhausting. No, but she

where she's preoccupied.

She has her stuff.

Then don't come.

I'm freaking weak with these people. Why
are you so long?

Becky just wants to be negative.

It reminds me of something I don't like.
She doesn't want to be naked. I think

we talked about that. No, not naked.
Negative.

So are y 'all sharing this room? Yeah.

This little bitty band? Yep.

Well, y 'all was going to be in a
relationship before.

My God.

They could have put you and Brandy in
one room.

I don't know, honey. She was talking
about some interesting escapades. I

I'm no prude by any means. No, no, no.
No, I get it. I get it. You know, some

us are a little more freer than others.
I'm in bondage when it comes to that

wild stuff.

See? Hello.

Yeah.

I need a hug.

How was that? It was so good.

It's the first day, and everyone's,
like, kind of on their best behavior.

Oh, no, it'll change.

Maybe you came to my room. Oh, me too. I
need a moment of my own. Not that

you're, like, I'm literally, like, the
same age as you.

No, no, but I have a bit of a mother,
right?

Yeah, you're, like, the voice of reason,
and it's very sweet.

I consider myself personally almost like
a housewife whisperer. And my bed is a

welcoming place. You know what my bed
is? It's like the United Nations.

This is where people come to talk.

They come to tell me what they think,
how they're feeling.

I just think it's a safe place.

I don't know. I don't want to go full
house with my own anyone. But Vicki, she

came in with like a somber situation.

And listen, if she doesn't want to have
fun, we'll just leave her out.

No, we went going around.

Best language.

Oh, hi. No, come on in. I was just
bringing a gift.

Oh, thank you.

What is this?

I got a little hangover kit in there.

Perfect.

Tiny dancer, get in here.

I know. Are you sure you like me?

I do. I think I do.

Because I found that, like, when we were
talking across the board, we kept

nodding at each other.

I am who I am, and I say how I feel.
I'm, like, nice, but if I'm pushed, I'm

nice. Right. So it's just that simple.

So if you're not pushed and you say
something about me that... You said,

was unstable in the press? I didn't say
that. That's not what I said. You're

talking about Kelly Dodd. And I said,
Kelly's like the new Brandy. Like, you

just say things and don't even think
about consequences or anything. And I

she's just very outgoing.

She pushes the envelope, things like
that. I never said you were unstable.

Are you sure? Nope.

Are you sure? Because I literally
remember you saying I was unstable.

You did.

Nope. I never said anything like that.
But then you took it to a whole other

level. Like, you called me a sociopath.

Yeah. You said all these things. Like,
I'm like, you don't even know me. Like,

you talked about my kids. You talked
about my granddaughter.

Like, you went deep.

Tamara, I think you're a coward. Please
don't ever DM me again.

Ever. Yeah, sometimes people go low, but
you're lower.

Like, we're on the sidewalk. You're in
the gutter. Maybe you should go hang out

with your grandkids.

I mean, do the grandkids talk to her?

You started it.

You can't.

Speak about someone and not expect them
to react.

I never said you were unstable.

And if I did, I totally apologize, but
not that I remember whatsoever.

I might have said Kelly was unstable at
the time. Maybe I said that, but I did

not say that about you.

I wasn't trying. to insult her. I really
wasn't. I was just saying he has a big

mouth. Am I buying what Tamara's saying?

Not really.

But I think it's easy to get in fights
with people online when you don't know

them. I do it all the time.

In all honesty, like, I don't want to
fight with you. I don't barely even know

you. We don't know each other. That's
the whole thing.

Yeah. Like, oh my God, I think that we
could be friends.

Yeah. I mean, I hope that we can be
friends. Okay.

I think that the week's going to go
okay. If I'm nice to Brandy, I think

be fine. I just, I got to know how to
play her.

I'm good at that.

Like, we're here to show a different
side of us, and I feel like that's what

need to do.

Yeah, and let goes on.

What do we wear tonight?

Like, what is this?

It's perfect.

A clam bake.

No, we don't. Yeah, we don't really do
clam bake.

Is it that foreign to people, a New
England clam bake? Have I lived in New

England for too long?

My nails are

not for cracking anything.

They're for beauty.

I want to experience it, and I want to
enjoy this, but I'm going to need some

help. It's a low -country voyeur. It's a
low -country voyeur, but with New

England style. Let's go.

Well, this room is very eclectic. I like
it.

I'm going to go get dressed. I don't
know what to wear. I didn't even know

baked clam.

I'm guessing that I'm in it very fast.

Stay tuned. I have no idea.

But I might be naked.

Brandy is exactly how I thought she'd
be. Vicky's a little bit of an asshole.

She's not somebody I'd choose to hang
around with.

Vicky, I know that things are tough
right now with Steve, but she needs to

her party pants on.

She needs to whoop it up. This is a very
motley crew.

And I'm not talking about the rock man.
But I think it's going to be very

lively, shall we say.

All right.

Let's go.

I don't like being late.

Oh, shoot. We weren't supposed to wear
our shoes on the car.

This is so pretty.

How are you? Hi. How are you? Can I get
you a bruschetta? Sure.

Look at this little lounge.

We don't need our jacket.

Oh, you look so pretty.

Oh, I didn't know what to wear because
I've never been to a Clambake before. I

haven't either.

What does one wear to a Clambake?

I mean, you're always very stylish. You
look great. I like that jacket. It is

what it is. Oh, that's Scott. Let's have
a talk.

Button up your shirt. That looks silly.

Well, I didn't mean to have it open that
far.

Well, hello.

Hello, Lighty. Hello.

How fun is that chair? I know. Oh, yes,
boo.

Woo -hoo.

Yes. Woo -hoo. You guys ready for some
din -din? Yeah. How are you?

I'm good. I'm good.

Nothing like a good shower, right?

I know.

You're in like a church in a minute.

Do you want to have a talk right here
with the fire pit? Oh, yeah. I want to

clear up all of the drama that I have
with Taylor and move forward and have

Her and I really had gotten along, and
she had my back a lot.

Do not put your finger in my face. I'm
going to get my finger in your face,

Really?

Threaten me.

No, no, no.

Stop it. Enough.

You're a slut. No one is touching you.
You know, let bygones be bygones.

I'm super happy to see you, by the way.

I am. I was very apprehensive, I'm sure,
as you were a little. I haven't seen

you in years.

Correct. And then I saw you on Watch
What Happens Live.

Andy asked you about me, and you're
like... Taylor, let's spin it for you.

Last time you spoke to... Brandi
Glanville.

Never, and thank you.

You were just kind of mean. I was like,
oh, my gosh, is that still actually, I

guess, a thing?

So I guess because we never really
mended fences, I really didn't know if

a thing or not. But I thought if we did
talk again, it would probably be

conflict again and just something that I
didn't want to do.

Filming the show was so much pressure to
begin with. And then my home life was

pressure, too. I felt like... I was the
weakest one on the show because of what

I was going through. And then when you
and I would fight, I would just feel

like, go after somebody strong.

That season that I came on was the worst
time of my life.

Like, honestly.

I was going through an incredibly hard
divorce.

Then I'm on a TV show where a man that I
know died and is then accused of

beating this person. And I'm caught in
the middle. That is the worst year of my

life. It's actually unbelievable that
she would really be looking me in the

and saying that that was a really tough
year for her.

Cry me a river.

I came out of game night, everyone
hating me and being horrible to me, into

Russell in that situation.

Right. And you and I not getting along.

Right. And I just thought I was on the
Ferris wheel of hell.

Me too.

Yeah. I mean, I can't imagine what you
were going through.

I'm sharing with you what I was going
through. I didn't not like you.

I just didn't understand how quickly you
got over things. I was so devastated.

Why would you go on TV with that
happening?

Well, in retrospect, and I don't know if
I was making a conscious decision, but

I thought maybe the cameras would
protect me in some way. If he was on

then maybe he would behave.

Absolutely.

So you just wanted to out it to protect
yourself?

I did not want to out it ever.

When Camille outed the abuse at Lisa's
tea party.

Because we don't say that he hits you.

Because we don't say that he broke your
jaw or that he beat you up and he hit

you. We don't say that, but now we said
it. I never wanted that to come out,

never. I was terrified.

I mean, he used to tell me, I'm afraid
I'm going to kill you someday.

And the minute it happened, I was in
shock. I didn't even have any idea what

say because I just thought, we're never
going to be able to put this back in the

box now. It's done.

Not that I didn't believe you, but I
didn't know what was real.

Is this girl just here for reality TV
and throwing up? Has it been under the

bus? That is the most insensitive and
horrible thing you can say to someone

who's being abused.

Maybe she should take a look back and
realize I had reconstructive surgery on

face. So it's not that easy to fake.

I just want to talk to you about this so
much because I have such love for you.

Well, thank you for that. I feel like we
always had fun together.

We did. It was either fun or treachery.
Fighting. Right.

We don't have to be best friends, but
I'm glad I got everything off my chest.

Hopefully we can at least be cordial.
But I want to talk to you more.

Yeah, for sure. Well, thank you for
taking the time and for opening the

want to understand.

Well, thank you for opening the door.

I love you.

Apparently she's walking away with some
form of resolution.

I'm actually more pissed than when I
even showed up here. Taylor, would you

a top up?

Yeah, sure. They're making me do it.
You're doing it.

Dinner is about to be served. Yay.

Oh, Jordan is at the head.

Oh, I love this.

Oh, we are a play set.

How are you cozy in your room?

Yes. I love it. Okay, good. My big
buddy's making his chair sink into the

ground. Hey, mine did too.

I got to say, that's the sexiest dress
we've had at the table in New England

a long time. You are raising some
pilgrims.

Yes.

What's this cute little thing here? I
think it's a fortune cookie.

Okay, I guess we're going to start the
question period. Okay, go ahead.

I like a great icebreaker at a dinner.

Games are fun, and it kind of makes you
feel familiar with the group.

I'll ask the first question. Okay.

What is your biggest insecurity?

My biggest insecurity is to be
irrelevant.

Really? Wow. I get that. To be relevant.
No, let's just jump into this. She

still wants to be on Housewives. What's
your take? No, that's not true.

That is not true, Brandon.

You need to back that up. No.

No.

That is not right.

God forbid.

I forgot that she's on pause. She's in
denial.

I didn't mean it in a bad way. No, no,
but that's not true. No, I mean

irrelevant, like, in the world.

You want to leave a legacy.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Pretty, pretty, pretty.

Thank you very much.

Let me take care of these lobsters for
you guys. I like watching you do it.

But they didn't crack them. I can help
you crack them. Let me show you like a

good New Englander, okay?

Yes. Yes. You better handle it. We can
handle it.

They're looking at the lobster like it's
still alive. Like it's not going to

unbreak itself, girl.

You watch what you did. You take the
body.

I'm very turned on right now. I don't
know. I'm very turned on.

And crack it. Oh, you're exciting.

Yes. Right now.

I kind of had to get the party started
there. I'm a cracker.

Well, it's got to be. Got to get the
meat out, honey.

Ew.

Ma 'am, that cannot be CDC compliant.

Like, you are outside the guidelines,
I'm sure. And I'm not eating that beef.

Oh, my God.

It's actually very attractive.

Oh, really?

Oh, yeah, girl.

Well, I know how to stick my fingers
deep.

Very sweet.

Put it in your mouth. Put it in your
mouth.

There's something about serving Phaedra
a succulent lobster tail that I just

don't like doing.

You know, those luscious, beautiful
lips, the lobster tail, the dripping

I'd say you had to buy me dinner first,
but since I'm at your multi -million

dollar lavish estate, honey, put your
fingers in my mouth, stick them up my

if you want to. I'm here for it all.

Well,

make it sexy.

All right.

Dorinda's going to make it nice. You're
going to make it sad. That is very

sweet, isn't it? Was that sweet?

Taylor, we have cotton candy for you.

Do you really?

But I will get you some.

I know you will. I really do hope you
know that I appreciate that season.

It was so weird for me to be even on it.

hated and it was so disgusting for me
what what why is brandy bringing this

up again and in front of everyone your
season season two that the one that i

came on as like it was so horrible
difficult horrible it was the worst like

time of my life my husband died oh yeah
that was so bad i literally on

my life Had the worst year of my life
last season.

No, she did. No, she did. No, you did.

She did. You're like, I'm so sorry. I'm
sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm saying it's my first as a friend of
like coming into the thing. I'm like.

Why was it a bad season for you? Her
husband committed suicide. So that was a

horrible season for you?

Yes.

What? I knew them. I love them. Like,
what do you mean?

How could you even say that with a
straight face?

It was insane. I know, but didn't you
make fun of her for writing a book about

Russell's death?

No, I didn't. Right after... You didn't?

Yes, you did.

At the reunion.

She's a single mom now. How dare you
talk like that? And one second.

By the way, bitch?

Yes.

Absolutely not. But you're fighting her,
bitch, right now?

No. No, you said that I exploited the
situation and wrote a book in a hot

after. I think in that moment that you
kind of did.

I did not. What you don't know is any
backstory because you don't ask

You just make assumptions.

I liked all of you. I liked Russell.

I liked you. I liked Kennedy.

So there's no way that I was the one
that did something wrong.

But what you didn't take the time to
understand is I had no money. He hid all

the money from me. And in the interim, I
had a daughter in private school. And I

was standing there with no way to take
care of myself. Because that's why I

wrote the...

Look, because I had to get an advance so
I could eat and support my child. It

wasn't because I was like, let me grind
this into the ground. They gave me a

window. My publisher said, we will give
you an advance if you write this book

before the reunion.

And you got to do what you got to do.

I did not know that.

Because you don't ask questions
sometimes.

Bitch, I was a friend of... Don't keep
saying bitch. You've got to stop with

that. That's not nice.

That's not nice. You're talking to
someone who's a widow. You've got to

that. It doesn't matter if you're a
friend of or a friend.

I want you to understand where I was
coming from.

Russell happened.

I was making no money. There was no
reason for me... What does that have to

with you making money or not making
money? Shut up right now.

Why are you swearing at me? You don't
talk that way to me. I will talk.

I ask you just a question.

No, you will not talk that way to me
ever.

Let's get that straight.