Original subtitles

"The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

Here's Rick.

And also starring in tonight's episode-- here's Kris.

Our story tonight is about three photographs.

I'm sure you know who this is.

This is Harriet, of course.

I'm sure you know who this.

This is Kris.

Now, this girl--

I don't even know her name.

Sure is pretty, though, isn't she?

These three photographs are the basis of our story tonight.

It's called "The Desk Photo."

We hope you like it.

It looks like everybody's out to lunch.

Yeah. Rick?

I'll be right with you!

Sounds like Rick's voice is changing.

- Hi, Mrs. Nelson. - Hi, Connie.

- Hi, Kris. - Hi.

What can I do for you?

Oh, we were just in the neighborhood

and thought we'd stop past and say hello to the boys.

Oh, I'm sorry. They're both out to lunch.

Oh, I guess they didn't know we were dropping in

to check up on them.

Oh, they should be back in a few minutes

if you'd like to wait. Oh, no, that's OK.

Thanks.

It wasn't anything really important.

Excuse me, I'd better answer that and look busy.

A nice picture of June, isn't it?

Yes, it is.

I think she gave that to Dave for his birthday.

- Wait a second. - What's the matter?

I want to make sure of something

before I start sounding off.

Bye.

How do you like that?

Rick doesn't have a picture of me on his desk.

Well, he probably hasn't gotten around to it yet.

But David has a picture of June on his desk.

Well, don't forget, she gave it to him.

Besides, Rick has a picture of you on his desk at home.

Yeah, and you know how old I was when that was taken--

16.

Why don't you have some new ones taken?

Surprise him.

Well, there's an awfully good photographer right

here in the building on the second floor.

Say, that's right.

He took our Christmas card pictures one year.

Does Dad have a picture of you on his desk or someplace?

Yeah, it seems to me he has a picture of me--

well, he used to.

Let's both go get our pictures taken.

- Oh, hi. - Hi.

I've got a surprise for you.

You mean dinner's ready?

No, something else.

And if you're not nice to me, I won't tell you what it is.

OK, what is it?

You're not very observant.

You're wearing new perfume.

That's the roast.

What is it?

Look around.

You waxed the floor.

I did not.

No, I guess you didn't.

Well, what is it?

I may not tell you.

Come on, I'm just beginning to get interested.

OK.

I've got it.

You're Patty Duke!

It's very nice.

What's it for?

What do you mean what's it for?

It's for you.

It's for your desk at the office.

Oh, good.

Don't you like it?

Yeah, of course I do.

It just kind of surprised me, that's all.

David's got a picture of June on his desk.

Yeah, I know it.

And I'm going to put this on my desk.

It's very nice, and I like it.

You don't sound very enthusiastic.

What do you want me to do?

Jump up and down?

It's beautiful, you're beautiful,

and I love the picture.

You're sure now?

Look, I'll make a new entrance,

and we'll start all over again.

Hi.

Hey, you had your picture taken!

It's beautiful!

Now, where is it?

I hid it, because you hate it.

I don't hate it. I like it!

Come on. Give it to me.

- You hate it. - I do not.

It's beautiful.

Where is it?

See?

Beautiful.

Now, how about some dinner?

You hate it.

It's beautiful.

Give it to me!

What are you doing out here?

I can't find the dart board.

Have you seen it anyplace?

No, but I haven't been looking for it.

I've been looking for you.

Oh, well, I'm right here.

Where's the dart board?

I don't know.

What do you want it for?

Well, I found these darts over here,

but I have nothing to throw them at.

Do you think maybe it might be up in the attic?

I haven't the faintest idea.

Would you be interested in a little surprise I have for you?

Uh, you're overdrawn at the bank?

No, it's possible, but it isn't what I had in mind.

Here, take a look at this.

Oh, it's very nice.

What is it?

What do you mean, what is it?

It's a picture of me.

I know that.

I recognized you right away.

What's it for? It's for you!

Don't you like it?

Oh, yes!

It's very nice. Thank you.

I thought maybe you could put it on your dresser or your desk

or someplace. Uh, well, yeah.

Well, you just gave me a picture for my dresser, didn't you?

Just a little while ago?

You mean, the one where I'm holding

Dave and Ricky on my lap?

Yeah, I guess it was quite a while ago.

- You don't like it, do you? - Yeah!

Yes, I do!

It looks just like you.

It's beautiful.

Thank you.

Hey, here's an idea!

Now, five points for each of the eyes, 10 points for the nose,

and two points for each of the teeth.

You're leaving kind of early, aren't you?

Yeah, I got a lot to do this morning.

Do you have everything?

Yeah, I think so.

I have to stop by the fraternity,

and I have to take these papers over to Judge Willoughby.

You sure you haven't forgotten anything?

Yeah, thanks for reminding me.

I almost forgot these contracts.

I have to take them over to the office.

And you haven't forgotten anything else?

Not that I can think of.

Something that's worth a thousand words?

Hey, that's right! Your picture!

Where is it?

- Right here. - Oh, yeah.

It's beautiful. You were going to forget it.

No, I wasn't.

I couldn't find it.

You had it hidden behind you.

Why don't you admit it?

You hate it.

I do not!

Now, come on, give it to me.

Maybe I should have worn my hair differently.

I think it looks great.

I'm going to take it down to the office and put it on my desk,

so everybody can see it.

My keys.

Hey, where's the picture?

I put it in your briefcase.

You were going to forget it again.

I'll see you later.

Aren't you forgetting something?

Well, you said you put it in my briefcase.

Oh.

- Hey, Wally? - Oh, hi, Rick.

Hi.

I need those lecture notes you borrowed from me last week.

Oh, yeah, just a second.

Hey, Dave, I got to have those lecture notes back!

Hey, Ken!

I got to have those lecture notes back!

Bob!

I need those lecture notes back!

- They'll return it. - I hope so.

I'm in kind of a hurry.

Hey, here's something I need.

Ginger?

No, no, I mean, the frame. Can I borrow it?

What for?

Well, I'm in kind of a spot.

Kris gave me a picture of herself for my office,

and I figured the sooner I get it in a frame

and on my desk, the better.

Well, I suppose I could rent it to you.

How about $5 a week?

Hey, wait a minute!

Wasn't this my frame in the first place?

Oh, really?

Well, then how about $0.50?

I just need it till I can get another one at the store.

Well, OK.

But don't run off with Ginger's picture.

Hey, who's this?

Oh, my gosh, I forgot all about her.

I doubt that.

Who is she anyway?

Oh, just a little girl I knew slightly.

Somehow, I don't think Ginger cared for her too much.

Well, you'd better take her, too.

Oh, no, no.

She's all yours.

- Well, here are your notes. - Oh, thanks, Dave.

Here you are, Rick. Thanks.

I'd better get going.

I got to stop off at Judge Willoughby's, and then

get over to the office.

I'll see you guys later.

OK, take it easy.

See you later. Where's the frame?

- I loaned it to Rick. - What for?

I don't know.

I think it has something to do with getting married.

Married?

Hello?

Hi, Mom.

Oh, hi, Kris!

How's everything?

Oh, fine.

How's everything with you? Oh, fine.

I was just wondering how Dad liked

the picture you had taken.

Oh, I think he liked it OK.

How did Rick like his?

Oh, about the same.

He hated his, too.

I'm afraid that was Ozzie's reaction.

Rick even forgot it when he was leaving this morning.

If I hadn't put it in his briefcase,

he would have left it at home.

You're lucky.

I'm not even sure Ozzie still has mine.

I don't know what it is.

Maybe I didn't have the right hairdo.

Well, I thought yours was a beautiful picture.

Thanks.

I thought yours was beautiful, too.

Hey, I got an idea.

Next time, we'll give the pictures to each other.

Hi.

Oh, hi, Rick.

- Hi, Rick. - Hi, Dave.

Did you drop those contracts off

at Judge Willoughby's office?

Yeah, he wasn't in yet, so I left them with the secretary.

- Thanks. - Oh, by the way, Kris called.

Oh, does she want me to call her back?

No, she said if she has time, she

might drop in a little later. Well, that figures.

What do you mean?

She wants to make sure I have her picture on my desk.

I don't see it.

I've got it in here.

She had it taken especially from my desk,

so I'd better make sure it's here when she comes in.

Well, come on, let's see it.

I've got so much stuff in here.

Hey, wait a second!

Where's the picture frame?

What picture frame?

Well, I stopped off at the fraternity

and borrowed a frame for the picture.

Hey, I'll bet it's in that folder I dropped off at Judge

Willoughby's.

Boy, you're really mixed up.

What time did Kris say she'd be in?

Sometime this morning.

Gee, I'd better get a hold the Judge

and see if I can get the picture before she gets here.

I'm calling him now.

Judge Willoughby, please.

Rick Nelson calling.

Oh, thank you.

Line 2, Rick.

Hello?

Thank you.

She's getting it.

You know, I can remember when we used to practice law around

here.

Hello?

Judge Willoughby?

It's Rick Nelson.

Oh, hi, Rick!

Say, I'm glad you called!

I found a picture here that must belong to you.

Yes, sir. That's why I was calling.

It's a picture of my wife.

Really?

This is your wife, you say?

She had it taken so I could keep it on my desk

here at the office.

Oh, well, that could be quite an inspiration to you.

Listen, if you'll just leave it with your secretary,

I'll be right over to pick it up.

Oh, look, maybe I can save you some time.

I have a business appointment right over at your building

in about 10 minutes.

Why don't I drop it off for you?

Well, gee, I'd sure appreciate it.

Thanks a lot. Oh, that's OK.

Glad to do it.

Well-- oh!

Who is that, may I ask?

My dear--

Take your time.

And it had better be good.

Oh, my dear, believe me.

This is the wife of Rick Nelson.

He's a law clerk at Dobson and Kelly's.

Oh, come on. You can do better than that.

Honest, honey!

I just found it right here in this folder!

Believe me, I wouldn't lie to you!

Honest, I'm a judge!

Come on, Judge.

Come on.

Do you think we ought to call his office

and see if he's left yet?

Relax, will you?

It's only been about 10 minutes.

I just hope he gets here before Kris does.

I'm sure he will.

Look, I hate to interrupt your domestic problems,

but do you suppose you could start doing a little work here?

Well, you don't expect me to concentrate on anything now,

do you?

I don't expect you to do any thinking.

Just a little work.

Where are those contracts you took home last night

on the Waldemore merger?

Oh, they're right here.

I want you to void 'em.

And I have to draw up some new ones.

- OK. - Don't throw 'em away, though.

Just stamp Void on each page and put them in the file.

I may have to refer to them later.

OK.

Connie? Yeah?

You think he's got the right address?

Well, sure, he's been here several times.

How are you doing?

OK, I guess.

Gee, I wonder where the heck he is.

I don't know what you're so worried about anyway.

What's the big deal?

Well, it's just that I wasn't too

enthusiastic about the picture when she showed it

to me last night, and this morning, I almost walked out

of the house without it.

So if it's not on my desk, she's going to think I don't like it.

- Well, do you? - Of course I do.

Wait.

Is that the picture?

Yeah.

Oh, I thought it was over Judge Willoughby's.

Well, so did I, but I guess she must have slipped it

in with the contracts.

- Morning. - Oh, good morning.

Good morning, Judge.

Well, here's your picture, Rick.

Oh, thank you very much, but I think

this calls for an explanation.

Oh, I wouldn't say that.

You have a very attractive wife here.

I'd like to meet her sometime.

Here she comes now.

This is my wife. This is Judge Willoughby.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

Oh, I see you got a frame for my picture.

Oh, yeah.

Have you seen the picture Kris gave me?

Oh, uh, yeah.

This is really something.

Oh, come on now.

Uh, Connie, have you seen this?

This is Kris's picture.

Oh, yes. Very nice.

That's the dress I wore to the dance last week.

Oh, really?

My dear, I'll bet you're hungry.

Well, a little.

Would you like some lunch?

Well, yeah, I guess so.

Well, look, I've got a lot of work to do here,

so why don't you and Connie go out and have lunch together?

- Yeah, that sounds great. - OK.

How about the Terrace Room?

Yeah, that sounds good.

Have a nice time. Thank you.

Naturally, it's on the expense account.

Oh, yeah, sure.

On his expense account.

Very nice to have met you, Judge Willoughby.

Oh, thank you. Same to you.

Goodbye.

I imagine you're wondering what this is all about.

Oh, no, no, that's all right.

I'm sure whatever it is, you'll handle

the situation discreetly.

Actually, this picture belongs to a friend of mine.

Rick just got the pictures mixed up.

Oh, please, gentlemen, no explanations are necessary.

If the case comes up before me, I'll disqualify myself.

So long, Judge.

Bye, Judge.

Well, at least so far, you've managed to survive.

Now, what?

Well, the first thing is to get rid of this picture.

I hate to do this to you, but it's for your own happiness.

Not to mention yours.

Now, what?

Well, I'll get another print of the picture.

Who's the photographer?

Well, I don't know, but his name should be on the back.

On the back of that picture?

Yeah.

- Hey, Pop? - Oh, hi, Rick!

Wanna play some golf? Oh, no, thanks.

I wanted to ask you something.

Mom gave you a picture of herself, didn't she?

Yeah.

Do you know where it is?

Yeah, it's right here.

Brought it down to get a frame for it.

Pretty nice, huh? Yeah, it sure is.

You know where it was taken?

Lee Studios.

That's right in your office building.

Yeah, thanks a lot, Pop.

Uh, Rick?

You could have saved yourself a trip.

Why didn't you ask Kris?

She had one taken at the same time.

Well, it would have been kind of embarrassing.

You see, I burned it up.

You burned up Kris's picture?

Yeah, it was an accident.

It's kind of a long story.

I'll tell you about it later.

Uh, Rick!

This is ridiculous.

What happened to your mother's picture?

You're standing on it, Pop.

Oh, no!

Sheesh!

Looks like you've been throwing darts at it.

I hate to rush you, but tomorrow will be too late.

It's got to be today.

Yeah, right now.

All right, let's see what we can do, Mr. Nelson.

I'd sure appreciate it.

I didn't do too bad here.

Five points through the nose.

You're in luck.

I found a couple of extras.

Oh, great!

If you don't mind, Pop, I think

I'll just grab mine and run.

OK.

See you later.

Sneaky way to get the old man to pay the bill.

Did you get it?

- Yeah, framed and all. - Good for you.

Just in time, too.

They're right behind me.

Get this out of sight, will you?

- What's that? - Oh, great!

It's a picture of Mom!

I must have picked up the wrong one!

This just isn't my day.

- Hi. - Hi.

We had a wonderful lunch.

Yeah, I'd like to eat there every day.

Well, I guess you want to get on home.

I'll see you tonight.

Wait a second.

Where's my picture?

Well, it's right here.

Looks just as good as ever.

Sure does.

Here, let me have that.

See, I think I'll put it right here.

Well, here it is.

What was that all about?

I mean, what was Dad doing with my picture?

I got this new frame for it, and I

wanted you to be surprised. Oh, I am.

It's very nice.

It's a beautiful picture, isn't it?

- It sure is. - Thank you.

Well, I guess everything worked out OK, after all.

Well, almost everything.

Oh, great.

Where are you going?

Be right back.

Now, now, close your eyes.

I've got a little surprise for you.

- A surprise for me? - That's right.

Close your eyes.

I have here a picture of the most beautiful girl

in the world--

my sweetheart.

Ah-ah, don't open 'em yet.

And the most interesting part about this

is, she's been framed by her own husband.

Can I open 'em yet?

No, no.

Uh, not yet.

Keep 'em closed now.

Surprise!

Oh!

Isn't that nice?

Beautiful picture, beautiful girl,

and a beautiful new frame.

In just a couple of minutes, Rick is going to sing for us.

Before he does, however, I thought

you might be interested in a little incident that

happened during the filming of tonight's show.

Remember the scene where Rick decided he'd better

burn Kris's picture?

We'll run it again, just to refresh your memory.

I hate to do this to you, but it's for your own happiness.

Not to mention yours.

Now, what?

I'll get another print of the picture.

Who's the photographer?

Well, I don't know, but his name should be on the back.

On the back of that picture?

Yeah.

That's the way you saw the scene in the picture.

But just as we were about to shoot it the first time,

somebody suggested that maybe the photograph wouldn't burn.

So just to make sure that it did,

they sprinkled a little lighter fluid in the wastebasket.

So this is what happened on the early take.

Believe me, it was quite a surprise,

especially to David and Ricky.

I hate to do this, but it's for your own happiness.

Not to mention your happiness.

Now, what?

And the moral of that story is,

don't sprinkle lighter fluid in the wastebasket.

Well, here's Rick to sing for us.

I walk in and cry.

Hiding tears, I can't cry out loud.

I can't let them see me cry.

They don't care if I live or die, and it's a mean old world.

Let me tell you, it's a mean old world when you need someone.

I sit in my room.

It's a room filled with gloom.

I sit and wait by the telephone, but no one

cares if I'm all alone.

And it's a mean old world.

Let me tell you, it's mean old world when you need someone.

Sometimes my friends don't understand me.

Sometimes they can be so cruel.

All I hope is someday, I'll find someone

to love my whole life through.

I walk down the street.

Hide my face from the people I meet.

They don't see the tears in my eyes.

They don't care or even realize that it's a mean old world.

Let me tell you, it's me old world when you need someone.

It's a mean old world when you need someone.

It's a mean old world.

Babe, I need someone.

Oh, it's a mean old world.

Oh, I need someone.

Tonight's "Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet"

was brought to you by Your Gas Company,

which helps you live modern for less with gas.

That's what we Nelsons do.