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1
00:00:01,829 --> 00:00:03,968
Sometimes it takes
certain events in your life
2
00:00:03,969 --> 00:00:06,350
to remind you to get your
priorities straight.
3
00:00:06,351 --> 00:00:10,561
So, you guys, Jack Briscoe
is finally retiring
from the paper.
4
00:00:10,562 --> 00:00:12,770
Whoa, so the front page
column is up for grabs?
5
00:00:12,771 --> 00:00:14,082
Peej, that'd be awesome!
6
00:00:14,083 --> 00:00:16,325
And he wants to have
breakfast with me tomorrow.
7
00:00:16,326 --> 00:00:18,741
At 6:00 a.m. by the way,
what is it with old people?
8
00:00:18,742 --> 00:00:20,881
They gotta get up early,
make sure their money's
still in the bank,
9
00:00:20,882 --> 00:00:22,676
write an angry
letter to TV Guide...
10
00:00:22,677 --> 00:00:24,713
Speaking of old
people, Marcia's got
a birthday coming up,
11
00:00:24,714 --> 00:00:25,886
so I'm gonna throw
a little shindig.
12
00:00:27,613 --> 00:00:29,580
What are you doing with him?
You could do so much better.
13
00:00:29,581 --> 00:00:33,584
I can't, Kenny. And let's
just get this out of the
way, I'm gonna be 28.
14
00:00:33,585 --> 00:00:35,103
Finally. Phew!
15
00:00:35,104 --> 00:00:37,174
Wow, you guys really are
meant for each other.
16
00:00:37,175 --> 00:00:40,349
You know, Mike was 35
for about six years.
17
00:00:40,350 --> 00:00:42,731
I've been 28 since
the Clinton administration.
18
00:00:42,732 --> 00:00:44,699
Aw, honey...
Aw.
19
00:00:48,427 --> 00:00:49,669
Party!
20
00:00:49,670 --> 00:00:50,946
No make-out. Party!
21
00:00:50,947 --> 00:00:52,706
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, no. Party!
22
00:00:52,707 --> 00:00:55,192
Next Saturday,
thinking about having
it here so...
23
00:00:55,193 --> 00:00:57,987
Actually, I'm going
to go ask Crowley
about it.
24
00:00:57,988 --> 00:01:00,438
I'm really excited for you
guys to meet my friends.
25
00:01:00,439 --> 00:01:04,132
They don't drink
as much as you, but
then again, who does?
26
00:01:04,133 --> 00:01:06,444
Mmm...
Not that I'm judging.
27
00:01:06,445 --> 00:01:07,619
Okay, maybe just a little.
28
00:01:14,591 --> 00:01:16,696
Tell them what you
just told me. Go ahead,
Crowley. Tell them.
29
00:01:16,697 --> 00:01:18,698
Which part?
30
00:01:18,699 --> 00:01:20,803
The part about me going
golfing in Scotland?
31
00:01:20,804 --> 00:01:22,253
No. Before that.
32
00:01:22,254 --> 00:01:24,324
Oh, I'm closing
this place down.
33
00:01:24,325 --> 00:01:25,463
Shutting the doors
next week.
34
00:01:25,464 --> 00:01:26,499
What?
Are you kidding me?
35
00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:27,776
You can't sell
the bar!
36
00:01:27,777 --> 00:01:29,295
I'm not selling
the bar.
37
00:01:29,296 --> 00:01:32,056
I'm selling the building,
closing the bar.
38
00:01:32,057 --> 00:01:35,197
I was gonna burn the place
down, but then I remembered
my parents live upstairs.
39
00:01:35,198 --> 00:01:39,167
But you can't do this.
We just fought so hard
to get this place back!
40
00:01:39,168 --> 00:01:42,653
It made me realize
what a pain in the ass
it is owning a bar.
41
00:01:42,654 --> 00:01:44,482
Owning a bar is a
young man's game.
42
00:01:44,483 --> 00:01:46,691
Tell me about it.
You are young, Brendo.
43
00:01:46,692 --> 00:01:48,728
Oh, yeah.
Don't think about
it as losing a bar.
44
00:01:48,729 --> 00:01:50,144
Think about
it as gaining a...
45
00:01:51,663 --> 00:01:52,870
Whatever moves
in here next.
46
00:01:52,871 --> 00:01:55,286
What's gonna move in here?
I don't know.
47
00:01:55,287 --> 00:01:57,668
Cell phone store?
Check cashing place?
48
00:01:57,669 --> 00:02:00,395
Pretty much gotta be one
of the two, though.
49
00:02:00,396 --> 00:02:03,570
I'm really sorry to hear
about your bar, you guys,
but I have to go.
50
00:02:03,571 --> 00:02:04,675
I've got a work thing.
51
00:02:04,676 --> 00:02:05,779
Mike never told us.
What do you do?
52
00:02:05,780 --> 00:02:07,574
I'm a burglar.
53
00:02:07,575 --> 00:02:10,922
No, I'm kidding.
I'm an ad exec.
Same thing.
54
00:02:10,923 --> 00:02:14,063
Except without the
raccoon mask and the bags
with the money signs.
55
00:02:15,652 --> 00:02:18,171
Hey, I'm gonna find an even
better place to have
your party. I promise.
56
00:02:18,172 --> 00:02:20,346
I feel very confident
that things are going
to work out.
57
00:02:20,347 --> 00:02:21,589
Okay. All right,
thanks, sweetie.
58
00:02:22,418 --> 00:02:23,556
Bye. Bye, guys.
59
00:02:23,557 --> 00:02:25,006
See you later, Marcia.
60
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,527
I'm screwed!
Where am I supposed
to have this party?
61
00:02:29,528 --> 00:02:31,771
My apartment is
downright dangerous
with more than eight.
62
00:02:31,772 --> 00:02:33,462
What about a park?
You can't have
booze at a park.
63
00:02:33,463 --> 00:02:35,050
Parks suck.
64
00:02:35,051 --> 00:02:37,190
You know, Andy's house
is just sitting there empty.
65
00:02:37,191 --> 00:02:39,641
And we all know
it's stumbling distance
to Marcia's place.
66
00:02:39,642 --> 00:02:41,539
That would be
perfect! Yeah!
67
00:02:41,540 --> 00:02:42,989
You think he'd mind?
Not if he doesn't know.
68
00:02:42,990 --> 00:02:44,473
Great. Problem solved.
69
00:02:44,474 --> 00:02:46,924
Not quite, Crowley's
is closing. Like, for good.
70
00:02:46,925 --> 00:02:48,443
What's important here?
71
00:02:48,444 --> 00:02:49,858
Crowley's is like
the lynchpin of
this neighborhood.
72
00:02:49,859 --> 00:02:52,101
I mean, where's that guy
gonna go during the day?
73
00:02:52,102 --> 00:02:54,138
The library?
Huh, I don't think so.
74
00:02:54,139 --> 00:02:55,795
I hope it doesn't become
one of those places
75
00:02:55,796 --> 00:02:58,832
that sells really
expensive soap with
twigs sticking out of it.
76
00:02:58,833 --> 00:03:00,938
Hi, everybody.
Hey!
77
00:03:00,939 --> 00:03:04,769
Okay, it's official.
I have big news.
78
00:03:04,770 --> 00:03:06,840
Yeah, well, we have
big news, too.
79
00:03:06,841 --> 00:03:08,532
Oh?
Crowley's is closing!
80
00:03:08,533 --> 00:03:12,052
Fantastic! And I'm
going to London.
81
00:03:12,053 --> 00:03:13,675
You're going to London?
For how long?
82
00:03:13,676 --> 00:03:18,197
Three months. I'm
going to be a panelist
on a BBC talk show.
83
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:22,339
Me, Sharon Osbourne and
Posh Spice are going
to give relationship advice.
84
00:03:22,340 --> 00:03:25,376
That is so fantastic!
Congratulations!
85
00:03:25,377 --> 00:03:28,448
Thanks.
Aw, I'm going to miss
you so much.
86
00:03:28,449 --> 00:03:29,932
You going?
87
00:03:29,933 --> 00:03:32,901
Kenny hasn't decided
yet if he wants
to come with me,
88
00:03:32,902 --> 00:03:36,663
or have many months
of awkward conversations
at weird hours,
89
00:03:36,664 --> 00:03:39,287
causing irreparable harm
to our fledgling relationship.
90
00:03:39,288 --> 00:03:40,805
What am I going
to do in London?
91
00:03:40,806 --> 00:03:42,566
Visit Big Ben?
I mean, my business
is just taking off.
92
00:03:42,567 --> 00:03:43,705
The timing couldn't be worse.
93
00:03:43,706 --> 00:03:45,879
Long distance relationships
are really hard.
94
00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:49,055
And when one of you
isn't into phone sex...
95
00:03:49,056 --> 00:03:51,160
Ew. Oh, no!
96
00:03:51,161 --> 00:03:53,577
I just pictured you guys
having phone sex,
97
00:03:53,578 --> 00:03:56,407
which is way worse
than when I picture you
guys having sex sex.
98
00:03:56,408 --> 00:03:58,789
Why did you picture them
having sex sex?
99
00:03:58,790 --> 00:04:00,963
It's natural. It's like,
you know, when
I think about you guys.
100
00:04:00,964 --> 00:04:04,001
What?
You picture us
having sex sex?
101
00:04:04,002 --> 00:04:06,279
Aw! Now I did!
Stop it.
102
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:08,247
First of all, it's none
of your business. Second
of all, it's not gross.
103
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,972
Yes, when I picture it,
it's very loving.
104
00:04:09,973 --> 00:04:13,321
Okay, how did we
get here from me
going to London?
105
00:04:13,322 --> 00:04:16,496
How did we get here from
Mike needing a place
to throw Marcia a party?
106
00:04:16,497 --> 00:04:18,705
And people, where are
we going to drink?
107
00:04:18,706 --> 00:04:21,501
Crap, I gotta go.
I've got that early morning
breakfast with Jack.
108
00:04:21,502 --> 00:04:23,503
I gotta get some sleep.
109
00:04:23,504 --> 00:04:25,471
How can you sleep when
we don't know where we're
going to be drinking?
110
00:04:25,472 --> 00:04:29,406
Oh, we're not going
right to sleep...
111
00:04:29,407 --> 00:04:31,684
Oh, now I'm
picturing it.
112
00:04:31,685 --> 00:04:33,756
See? Why'd you have
to drag me into this?
113
00:04:36,448 --> 00:04:39,416
Wow, Jack, I can't believe
you're finally retiring.
114
00:04:39,417 --> 00:04:42,695
I am. I'm going to spend
some time with the family.
115
00:04:42,696 --> 00:04:45,629
Now, usually when you hear
a guy say that, it means
he was caught with a hooker.
116
00:04:46,941 --> 00:04:48,632
But, sadly, in my
case, it's true.
117
00:04:48,633 --> 00:04:51,324
Well, I just can't believe
you're giving up your column.
118
00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:53,153
I mean, you are
sports in this town.
119
00:04:53,154 --> 00:04:56,260
Well, now it's time
for some other schmuck
to take my place,
120
00:04:56,261 --> 00:04:57,882
which is why I want
to talk to you.
121
00:04:57,883 --> 00:04:59,608
Oh, am I on that
list of schmucks?
122
00:04:59,609 --> 00:05:02,818
No, you should be, but
you're not. 'Cause you're
not doing enough.
123
00:05:02,819 --> 00:05:04,130
What more should
I be doing?
124
00:05:04,131 --> 00:05:05,511
The business has
changed, P.J.
125
00:05:05,512 --> 00:05:07,513
You gotta do so
much more now.
126
00:05:07,514 --> 00:05:09,894
I mean, you should
be tweeting and blogging
127
00:05:09,895 --> 00:05:12,207
and other verbs that
didn't exist five years ago.
128
00:05:12,208 --> 00:05:13,933
Breaking more news?
You gotta be
129
00:05:13,934 --> 00:05:16,936
everywhere all the time,
instead of interviewing
a pitcher of beer.
130
00:05:16,937 --> 00:05:20,974
Well, obviously, I will do
whatever it takes to get
a shot at the front page.
131
00:05:20,975 --> 00:05:22,182
I mean, that's the dream.
132
00:05:22,183 --> 00:05:24,323
You got the talent.
133
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:27,843
You just gotta convince those
pooh-bahs upstairs that you
can be the next Jack Briscoe.
134
00:05:27,844 --> 00:05:30,052
All right.
135
00:05:30,053 --> 00:05:32,158
I guess I'll need to get
three ex-wives and a lot
more Hawaiian shirts.
136
00:05:32,159 --> 00:05:34,057
Don't leave
the second one.
137
00:05:34,886 --> 00:05:35,887
I really liked Bridget.
138
00:05:42,203 --> 00:05:44,929
I found a cute flat in
Whitechapel, two bedroom.
139
00:05:44,930 --> 00:05:46,828
Isn't that where
Jack the Ripper was
murdering people?
140
00:05:46,829 --> 00:05:48,312
That was a while ago.
141
00:05:48,313 --> 00:05:49,831
I think the neighborhood's
come up since then.
142
00:05:49,832 --> 00:05:51,004
Here, I'm here.
143
00:05:51,005 --> 00:05:52,489
Hey.
144
00:05:52,490 --> 00:05:55,181
Sorry I'm late.
I've been dealing with
this whole party thing.
145
00:05:55,182 --> 00:05:57,148
You guys, it's
way too much.
146
00:05:57,149 --> 00:05:58,874
You think you could help
me out with a couple things?
147
00:05:58,875 --> 00:05:59,979
Sure, man. What
do you need?
148
00:05:59,980 --> 00:06:01,532
Great, I made a list.
149
00:06:01,533 --> 00:06:03,465
Okay.
150
00:06:03,466 --> 00:06:06,675
Uh, Steph, eh,
you're on wine duty.
151
00:06:06,676 --> 00:06:10,610
Perfect. You want the standard
60/40 split of white,
red for the summer?
152
00:06:10,611 --> 00:06:11,749
Anything bubbly?
153
00:06:11,750 --> 00:06:13,130
Literally gibberish.
154
00:06:13,131 --> 00:06:14,373
Actually made me
a little angry.
155
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,029
I'll take care of it.
156
00:06:16,030 --> 00:06:18,377
Robert, you're on
paper products, plates,
napkins, et cetera.
157
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,964
Okay.
Kenny, you're on meat.
158
00:06:19,965 --> 00:06:22,001
Done, I know a guy.
Nice stuff.
159
00:06:22,002 --> 00:06:24,417
Brendo, music.
160
00:06:24,418 --> 00:06:26,661
Uh, what does Marcia like?
Actually, no, you know what?
161
00:06:26,662 --> 00:06:28,248
I'm gonna tell Marcia
what she likes.
162
00:06:28,249 --> 00:06:30,354
I think she's on a little
bit of a Pixies kick.
163
00:06:30,355 --> 00:06:32,702
P.J., cake.
Can you handle cake?
164
00:06:34,186 --> 00:06:35,532
Cake!
165
00:06:35,533 --> 00:06:37,672
Uh, yeah, cake, of course.
166
00:06:37,673 --> 00:06:39,363
Cake, I will do whatever
you need me to do.
167
00:06:39,364 --> 00:06:41,123
How about playing
poker? I'm dealing.
168
00:06:41,124 --> 00:06:42,711
Sorry, I am tweeting.
169
00:06:42,712 --> 00:06:44,920
Isn't tweeting just telling
people what you're doing?
170
00:06:44,921 --> 00:06:46,991
Yes.
Why not tell them
you're playing poker?
171
00:06:46,992 --> 00:06:49,131
Because I don't think
that's going to help
me get the front page.
172
00:06:49,132 --> 00:06:51,824
Well, what if you play
poker and tell them you
went to the Cubs game?
173
00:06:51,825 --> 00:06:53,654
Because she's not,
that would be lying.
174
00:06:56,277 --> 00:06:59,072
Hey, Peej, can I talk to you
real quick about something
kind of important.
175
00:06:59,073 --> 00:07:00,936
Yeah, is something wrong?
176
00:07:00,937 --> 00:07:03,111
No, no, no. It's just, you
know, kind of a business
related question. But...
177
00:07:03,112 --> 00:07:06,114
Yeah, I just, uh...
Sorry, I have to finish
this piece about this kid
178
00:07:06,115 --> 00:07:09,462
from Venezuela who
supposedly can throw
108 mph.
179
00:07:09,463 --> 00:07:10,567
I'm gonna blog about it.
180
00:07:10,568 --> 00:07:11,913
Ah.
I'm sorry.
181
00:07:11,914 --> 00:07:13,190
Dinner, how about Thursday?
182
00:07:13,191 --> 00:07:14,329
Great.
Okay.
183
00:07:14,330 --> 00:07:15,917
Cool, cool, cool.
184
00:07:15,918 --> 00:07:17,332
Peej, you in
or out?
185
00:07:17,333 --> 00:07:19,507
I am sorry, guys.
I think I'm out.
186
00:07:19,508 --> 00:07:21,716
I should just go into
my room and work.
187
00:07:21,717 --> 00:07:23,752
Aw, man. Bloggy
P.J. is no fun.
188
00:07:23,753 --> 00:07:25,513
Look, I'm sorry.
This is my big push.
189
00:07:25,514 --> 00:07:27,930
I gotta do nothing but work
if I'm going to get this job.
190
00:07:28,827 --> 00:07:29,966
Sorry.
191
00:07:35,903 --> 00:07:37,248
What is that?
192
00:07:37,249 --> 00:07:39,147
It's all they have
left on tap.
193
00:07:39,148 --> 00:07:42,531
Crowley's not restocking,
so all they've got left
is the really weird stuff.
194
00:07:43,532 --> 00:07:45,429
This is like
licking a can.
195
00:07:45,430 --> 00:07:46,741
I'm drunk.
196
00:07:46,742 --> 00:07:48,295
Wait, now I'm sober.
197
00:07:48,882 --> 00:07:50,434
Ow, my head!
198
00:07:50,435 --> 00:07:52,643
Hey, you guys.
Hey, guys.
199
00:07:52,644 --> 00:07:55,025
We just picked up
a bunch of stuff
for the party.
200
00:07:55,026 --> 00:07:57,061
Yeah, I got 300
paper plates.
201
00:07:57,062 --> 00:08:00,271
What? No! I just fought
traffic all the way back
from Skokie.
202
00:08:00,272 --> 00:08:02,860
Where I bought paper plates,
because Mike told me to!
203
00:08:02,861 --> 00:08:05,276
I did? Whoops. I'm sorry.
204
00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:07,278
Dude, I'm having trouble
keeping track of everything.
205
00:08:07,279 --> 00:08:09,073
Well, I hope you didn't tell
anybody else to get hot dogs,
206
00:08:09,074 --> 00:08:10,799
because I've got
16 dozen in my trunk.
207
00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:13,630
Actually, we need some
veggie dogs, because
Marcia's vegetarian.
208
00:08:13,631 --> 00:08:15,666
Kind of an important thing
to tell the meat guy.
209
00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:17,116
I hate to say it, pal.
210
00:08:17,117 --> 00:08:18,635
But I think you might be in
a little over your head, here.
211
00:08:18,636 --> 00:08:21,776
Or maybe this is going
exactly as planned.
212
00:08:21,777 --> 00:08:25,883
A party with 7,000 plates
and 200 nasty-ass hot dogs.
213
00:08:25,884 --> 00:08:29,542
Mike, you need a party
planner, someone that can
take care of the details.
214
00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:31,993
Party planner?
Totally! Dude,
you're a life saver.
215
00:08:31,994 --> 00:08:33,270
I'm a what now?
216
00:08:33,271 --> 00:08:34,927
Dude, nobody does
organization like you.
217
00:08:34,928 --> 00:08:36,963
Let's check in after
you get the kegs.
218
00:08:36,964 --> 00:08:38,206
Oh, there's the
birthday girl.
219
00:08:38,207 --> 00:08:39,932
Hold on. Hi, honey...
220
00:08:39,933 --> 00:08:41,727
What just happened?
221
00:08:41,728 --> 00:08:43,211
Kenny Moritorri,
party planner
extraordinaire.
222
00:08:43,212 --> 00:08:45,144
So now I'm planning
a party?
223
00:08:45,145 --> 00:08:48,941
I'm trying to get Kenny's
Closets off the ground!
I don't have time for this.
224
00:08:48,942 --> 00:08:50,494
All right,
if I'm doing this,
that's fine.
225
00:08:50,495 --> 00:08:51,737
Everybody else is going
to have to step up.
226
00:08:51,738 --> 00:08:53,359
Brendan, can you
do balloons?
227
00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:55,326
I'm on music, dude.
Plus, I've got a really
228
00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:56,707
important business
meeting that I've got...
229
00:08:56,708 --> 00:08:58,537
Reschedule, there's
a new sheriff in town.
230
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:01,194
You.
Buying balloons.
231
00:09:01,195 --> 00:09:03,542
What are you laughing at,
law school? Classes
don't start for a month.
232
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:04,819
You're my twinkle light bitch.
233
00:09:06,062 --> 00:09:07,822
Oh, hey, you guys.
Hey!
234
00:09:07,823 --> 00:09:09,618
Hey, where have you been?
235
00:09:10,032 --> 00:09:11,308
Oh!
236
00:09:11,309 --> 00:09:14,035
I just had breakfast
in South Bend,
lunch in Evanston,
237
00:09:14,036 --> 00:09:17,108
afternoon at Mount Carmel,
and then I just got
back from Wrigley.
238
00:09:17,729 --> 00:09:19,281
I am exhausted.
239
00:09:19,282 --> 00:09:20,938
Guys, give her a little
breathing room.
240
00:09:20,939 --> 00:09:22,595
Have a little beer. Relax.
241
00:09:22,596 --> 00:09:24,873
Oh, thank you.
242
00:09:24,874 --> 00:09:28,912
Gee, what a surprise,
you, here, with a beer
in your hand.
243
00:09:28,913 --> 00:09:31,121
No, I just picked
this up, I swear!
244
00:09:31,122 --> 00:09:33,261
And I'm actually not
even sure that's beer.
245
00:09:33,262 --> 00:09:34,435
You got a second?
246
00:09:38,612 --> 00:09:40,302
All right, now listen.
247
00:09:40,303 --> 00:09:42,788
I'm going to make you
an offer that I'm not
making to anybody else.
248
00:09:42,789 --> 00:09:46,136
I'm going to the
White Sox-Red Sox series
in Boston tomorrow.
249
00:09:46,137 --> 00:09:48,552
You come with me.
I'll introduce you around.
250
00:09:48,553 --> 00:09:51,624
Oh! Wow, that's, uh,
really nice of you.
251
00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:55,041
I actually have
a bunch of things
lined up this weekend.
252
00:09:55,042 --> 00:09:57,699
I've got this
birthday party...
What?
253
00:09:57,700 --> 00:10:00,391
I haven't been to a birthday
party since I was seven.
254
00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:02,117
You gotta get your
priorities straight.
255
00:10:02,118 --> 00:10:04,016
In this job, you're
going to miss birthdays.
256
00:10:04,017 --> 00:10:05,431
Hell, you'll miss births.
257
00:10:05,432 --> 00:10:06,743
Well, actually, that
would be a little...
258
00:10:06,744 --> 00:10:09,504
Look, I am offering you
a call-up to the bigs.
259
00:10:09,505 --> 00:10:11,886
You should be living
and breathing sports!
I do!
260
00:10:11,887 --> 00:10:13,888
Well, then Boston's
a no-brainer.
261
00:10:13,889 --> 00:10:16,235
Hell, you should have
three or four stories
about the Sox-Sox
262
00:10:16,236 --> 00:10:17,581
series you could
do right now.
263
00:10:17,582 --> 00:10:19,065
Oh.
And what are they?
264
00:10:19,066 --> 00:10:21,309
Um...
Mike Cameron gets a chance
to play against the team
265
00:10:21,310 --> 00:10:22,517
that drafted him.
266
00:10:22,518 --> 00:10:25,071
Timmy Wakefield
is a 44-year-old starter.
267
00:10:25,072 --> 00:10:28,903
And Ozzie Guillen and
Terry Francona have the two
filthiest mouths in baseball.
268
00:10:28,904 --> 00:10:30,732
Pack your bags.
See you in Boston.
269
00:10:30,733 --> 00:10:31,976
Thanks for the drink.
270
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:45,264
And then this fold
makes the beak.
271
00:10:45,265 --> 00:10:47,611
I don't understand why
we need 200 origami ducks.
272
00:10:47,612 --> 00:10:49,544
They're cranes.
They're supposed
to be good luck.
273
00:10:49,545 --> 00:10:50,821
Mine looks
like a penguin.
274
00:10:50,822 --> 00:10:52,512
Hey, you don't have
to explain yourself
to anybody.
275
00:10:52,513 --> 00:10:54,238
You got a problem,
you go through me.
276
00:10:54,239 --> 00:10:56,516
You know, Kenny,
you think you're throwing
yourself into this whole
277
00:10:56,517 --> 00:10:59,968
party planner role so you
don't have to deal
with the London issue?
278
00:10:59,969 --> 00:11:02,971
It might be easy for you to
pick up and leave,
but I've got roots here.
279
00:11:02,972 --> 00:11:06,630
Plus, this birthday
barbecue for my best
friend's new girlfriend,
280
00:11:06,631 --> 00:11:08,597
is very important to me.
281
00:11:08,598 --> 00:11:11,809
I'll give you $100
if you can tell me
Marcia's last name.
282
00:11:12,948 --> 00:11:14,501
Wilson?
Sandler.
283
00:11:15,813 --> 00:11:17,434
Handler.
284
00:11:17,435 --> 00:11:20,264
Definitely Handler.
Uh, crap, I gotta go.
285
00:11:21,611 --> 00:11:23,647
Hey!
No time! More
spelling mistakes.
286
00:11:23,648 --> 00:11:25,476
Gotta get
to the jewelers!
287
00:11:25,477 --> 00:11:27,616
Finally! You were supposed
to be here hours ago.
288
00:11:27,617 --> 00:11:30,999
I am sorry. I have got,
like, a million things
to do for work.
289
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,621
You've got a million
things to do?
290
00:11:32,622 --> 00:11:35,521
I gotta plan a whole party,
using a skeleton crew
acting like amateurs.
291
00:11:35,522 --> 00:11:37,040
We are amateurs.
292
00:11:37,041 --> 00:11:39,870
Take it easy, Kenny.
Geez, who made you
party planner?
293
00:11:39,871 --> 00:11:42,631
Mike. Kenny's the
party planner.
294
00:11:42,632 --> 00:11:45,151
Boy, you have
really missed a lot.
295
00:11:45,152 --> 00:11:47,982
And I know you're busy,
okay? But how are
we doing on that cake?
296
00:11:47,983 --> 00:11:49,086
What cake?
297
00:11:49,087 --> 00:11:50,674
I swear to God...
298
00:11:50,675 --> 00:11:52,365
Bobby, you're going
to have to take
over the cake.
299
00:11:52,366 --> 00:11:54,091
I can't take cake.
It'll break me.
300
00:11:54,092 --> 00:11:56,716
I still have to make 40
more penguin crane things.
301
00:11:57,924 --> 00:11:59,545
Don't look at me, man.
I actually gotta go.
302
00:11:59,546 --> 00:12:01,064
I got a meeting
with my accountant.
303
00:12:01,065 --> 00:12:02,859
Hey, Peej, we're still
cool for dinner later, right?
304
00:12:02,860 --> 00:12:06,310
Oh, shoot. Dude, I have some
bad news about that.
305
00:12:06,311 --> 00:12:09,348
I have to pack tonight.
I have to go to
Boston tomorrow.
306
00:12:09,349 --> 00:12:11,108
What? You're going
to miss the party?
307
00:12:11,109 --> 00:12:13,317
I have to, all right?
308
00:12:13,318 --> 00:12:17,563
If I'm going to get this
dream job, I absolutely have
to be in Boston this weekend.
309
00:12:17,564 --> 00:12:21,153
Wow, Mike's going
to be bummed. He's so
invested in this party.
310
00:12:21,154 --> 00:12:23,603
And I'm bummed, because
you're going to leave
me here alone with Kenny.
311
00:12:23,604 --> 00:12:25,536
And also cause I'll miss you.
312
00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:28,470
Believe me, I would much
rather be here at a super
fun barbecue.
313
00:12:28,471 --> 00:12:29,817
But I just need
to get this job,
314
00:12:29,818 --> 00:12:30,852
and then everything
will go back to normal.
315
00:12:30,853 --> 00:12:31,957
You know?
316
00:12:31,958 --> 00:12:34,856
Will it though?
You'd be on the front page.
317
00:12:34,857 --> 00:12:38,066
Peej, Jack had no life.
I think that's just the job.
318
00:12:38,067 --> 00:12:39,999
Well, I'm not going
to become Jack Briscoe.
319
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,622
Well, unfortunately,
there are trade-offs for
that kind of success.
320
00:12:42,623 --> 00:12:46,385
Look, that's not going
to happen to me, because my
friends are way too important.
321
00:12:46,386 --> 00:12:49,215
Oh, Bobby, can you
tell Mike that I can't
come to his party?
322
00:12:49,216 --> 00:12:50,976
Aw, man! Seriously?
323
00:12:50,977 --> 00:12:53,116
You can mention it when
you drop off the heaters.
324
00:12:53,117 --> 00:12:54,876
All right, look, thanks.
325
00:12:54,877 --> 00:12:57,223
Thanks, thanks, thanks.
I gotta go. I'm so sorry.
326
00:12:57,224 --> 00:12:58,638
I gotta pack, guys.
327
00:12:58,639 --> 00:12:59,812
I should run, too.
328
00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:01,193
Where are you going?
329
00:13:01,194 --> 00:13:05,369
Well, I've got to pack,
sort things, shed dead weight.
330
00:13:05,370 --> 00:13:10,029
Ooh! I'm no relationship
expert, but I think she's
talking about you.
331
00:13:10,030 --> 00:13:12,791
You know, it's not
an easy decision
to make, Stephanie, okay?
332
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,654
First of all, I don't
understand the rules
to cricket.
333
00:13:14,655 --> 00:13:16,415
They don't have ice,
they got warm beer.
334
00:13:16,416 --> 00:13:18,520
They have bad teeth...
Do you know anything
about London
335
00:13:18,521 --> 00:13:21,592
that wasn't in a stand-up
routine 20 years ago?
336
00:13:21,593 --> 00:13:24,388
Plus, they drive on the
left side of the road,
which isn't right.
337
00:13:26,426 --> 00:13:27,427
You suck!
338
00:13:47,102 --> 00:13:48,965
Hey, what are you
guys doing here?
339
00:13:50,346 --> 00:13:51,830
We hang out here now.
340
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,072
What have I missed?
341
00:13:53,073 --> 00:13:54,936
Marcia and I have five kids.
342
00:13:54,937 --> 00:13:58,698
Mike, Michael Jr.,
Michel, Michelangelo
and Joaquin.
343
00:13:58,699 --> 00:14:00,562
I went outside the
marriage for Joaquin.
344
00:14:00,563 --> 00:14:01,805
We needed a smart one.
345
00:14:03,187 --> 00:14:05,257
Hey, it's Bobby!
346
00:14:05,258 --> 00:14:08,432
Honey... Are you in a choir?
347
00:14:08,433 --> 00:14:12,471
I'm on the Supreme Court now.
And don't call me honey.
She wouldn't like it.
348
00:14:12,472 --> 00:14:15,267
Who?
I married Jessica Biel when
you were out of town.
349
00:14:15,268 --> 00:14:16,406
She's delicious.
350
00:14:16,407 --> 00:14:17,580
Yeah!
351
00:14:20,376 --> 00:14:21,652
I'm an editor now.
352
00:14:21,653 --> 00:14:24,484
But still single, with
a drinking problem?
353
00:14:25,105 --> 00:14:26,209
I love my job.
354
00:14:28,039 --> 00:14:30,523
Hey, P.J., how'd
the triple bypass go?
355
00:14:30,524 --> 00:14:31,870
When did my heart blow up?
356
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,701
Ugh, P.J., what
are you wearing?
357
00:14:50,544 --> 00:14:52,614
Oh, great.
358
00:14:52,615 --> 00:14:54,478
Thanks for all the
hard work, Brendo.
359
00:14:54,479 --> 00:14:56,722
No problem.
Hey, I got all this stuff!
360
00:14:56,723 --> 00:14:58,689
He just put some
music in an iPod.
361
00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:00,622
Big whoop!
Bobby, I didn't see
any heat lamps.
362
00:15:00,623 --> 00:15:02,417
Tell me they're
on the way.
There are no heat lamps.
363
00:15:02,418 --> 00:15:04,040
I had to make an
executive decision.
364
00:15:04,041 --> 00:15:05,524
It's 85 degrees outside!
365
00:15:05,525 --> 00:15:07,353
Calm down, Lisa.
366
00:15:07,354 --> 00:15:09,459
No, I will not!
None of you guys
appreciate me!
367
00:15:09,460 --> 00:15:12,531
I stayed up until
3:00 in the morning
making buttons
368
00:15:12,532 --> 00:15:14,360
out of Marcia's second
grade picture!
369
00:15:14,361 --> 00:15:16,776
Oh, they're adorable.
370
00:15:16,777 --> 00:15:19,020
Way to go,
party planner!
Thanks.
371
00:15:19,021 --> 00:15:20,920
No, I did it!
I made them!
372
00:15:21,437 --> 00:15:22,473
Oh!
373
00:15:25,786 --> 00:15:27,995
Those are warm.
Eat me.
374
00:15:27,996 --> 00:15:31,481
Okay, food's out.
We gotta get the beer
on ice. Music...
375
00:15:31,482 --> 00:15:34,760
Dr. Brendo's Monster Marcia
Mix is ready to rock.
376
00:15:34,761 --> 00:15:36,210
Gonna ease 'em in with
a little Panama,
377
00:15:36,211 --> 00:15:38,246
and then we're gonna
take it to the break of dawn.
378
00:15:38,247 --> 00:15:39,939
Wait, where's P.J.?
379
00:15:40,629 --> 00:15:41,905
Oh, crap.
380
00:15:41,906 --> 00:15:44,114
You had one thing
you had to do!
381
00:15:44,115 --> 00:15:45,564
Hey, why do you
want me to hit you?
382
00:15:45,565 --> 00:15:47,152
I've never hit anyone
in my whole life!
383
00:15:47,153 --> 00:15:48,947
She is coming though, right?
She has to be here.
384
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,639
Actually, she's not.
385
00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:53,365
What?
She had a business trip.
386
00:15:54,643 --> 00:15:56,333
Hi!
Wow!
387
00:15:56,334 --> 00:15:58,266
You are way out
of the loop.
388
00:15:58,267 --> 00:15:59,371
You made it!
389
00:15:59,372 --> 00:16:01,200
So glad to see you!
390
00:16:01,201 --> 00:16:02,305
Where were you
supposed to be?
391
00:16:02,306 --> 00:16:03,996
Boston. They
didn't tell you?
392
00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:06,136
Were you really in Boston, or
was that just an elaborate lie
393
00:16:06,137 --> 00:16:08,449
to get out of helping Bobby
hang 1,000 twinkle lights?
394
00:16:08,450 --> 00:16:10,347
You hung 1,000
little twinkle lights?
395
00:16:10,348 --> 00:16:11,486
They've been
so mean to me.
396
00:16:11,487 --> 00:16:12,798
So what happened
in Boston?
397
00:16:12,799 --> 00:16:15,801
I told Jack that I do have
my priorities straight.
398
00:16:15,802 --> 00:16:18,322
That I do know what's
important to me and, uh...
399
00:16:19,219 --> 00:16:20,771
It's not my job.
400
00:16:20,772 --> 00:16:22,601
It's being here
with you guys.
401
00:16:22,602 --> 00:16:24,327
So I am.
402
00:16:24,328 --> 00:16:27,054
Hey, can you guys
all come outside?
We want to propose a toast.
403
00:16:27,055 --> 00:16:28,573
Oh, sure, of course.
404
00:16:31,128 --> 00:16:34,095
Hey, can everybody
gather around, please?
Come in. Come in.
405
00:16:34,096 --> 00:16:37,581
First of all, thank you all so
much for coming out to help me
celebrate Marcia's birthday.
406
00:16:37,582 --> 00:16:39,445
Whoo-hoo!
407
00:16:39,446 --> 00:16:44,312
And we invited you
all here, our closest
friends, because...
408
00:16:44,313 --> 00:16:48,868
Well, because, even though
it's only been a month,
409
00:16:48,869 --> 00:16:52,113
and even though we
barely know each other,
410
00:16:52,114 --> 00:16:54,943
tonight we're
getting married.
411
00:16:56,429 --> 00:16:57,981
Are you kidding me?
Oh, my God!
412
00:16:57,982 --> 00:17:00,328
And we know what
you're thinking.
413
00:17:00,329 --> 00:17:02,641
Are they out
of their minds?
414
00:17:02,642 --> 00:17:06,645
But the truth is,
we're old.
415
00:17:06,646 --> 00:17:09,683
And we know the difference
between how we feel
about each other,
416
00:17:10,788 --> 00:17:11,996
and everyone else.
417
00:17:13,515 --> 00:17:14,584
But mostly we're old.
418
00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:17,828
So, let's do this!
Everybody come in!
419
00:17:17,829 --> 00:17:19,658
Melanie, come here, girl.
Let's do it!
420
00:17:21,902 --> 00:17:23,387
High five.
Come on.
421
00:17:27,011 --> 00:17:31,980
I promise to be loving and
helpful and not always
the dumbest man alive.
422
00:17:31,981 --> 00:17:37,503
And I promise to love and to
cherish you, even when
you can't help but be.
423
00:17:37,504 --> 00:17:41,093
Now, by the power vested in me
by the Universal Life Church
and the state of Illinois...
424
00:17:41,094 --> 00:17:42,130
Wait!
425
00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:47,410
I have to tell
you something.
426
00:17:47,411 --> 00:17:50,551
I was married before for
two months to a blackjack
dealer named J.D.
427
00:17:50,552 --> 00:17:51,622
Really?
428
00:17:53,382 --> 00:17:55,728
I used to smoke.
Two packs a day.
Ten years.
429
00:17:55,729 --> 00:17:57,558
Depression runs
in my family.
430
00:17:57,559 --> 00:17:59,698
It's possible I have
a teenage daughter
somewhere in Denmark.
431
00:17:59,699 --> 00:18:02,735
I have a ferret in my house,
and I don't know where he is.
432
00:18:02,736 --> 00:18:05,256
Sometimes I wear biking
shorts, just to suck
everything in a bit.
433
00:18:06,499 --> 00:18:08,707
Okay, I'm good.
Me, too.
434
00:18:08,708 --> 00:18:09,846
Let's be husband
and wife.
435
00:18:09,847 --> 00:18:10,917
Okay.
436
00:18:15,542 --> 00:18:16,543
Yeah!
437
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,929
Let's drink!
438
00:18:25,034 --> 00:18:27,071
So, where did we end
up with the cake?
439
00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:29,901
Well...
440
00:18:39,359 --> 00:18:42,223
Honestly, it was
the best one they had
at Dominick's.
441
00:18:42,224 --> 00:18:44,708
It was either that or a
really bad fake SpongeBob.
442
00:18:44,709 --> 00:18:47,194
I can't believe
they got married.
443
00:18:47,195 --> 00:18:49,782
I know, I can't believe
Mike was the first
one to get married.
444
00:18:49,783 --> 00:18:50,990
I can't believe Mike
pulled this off.
445
00:18:50,991 --> 00:18:52,785
I can't believe he has
a daughter in Denmark.
446
00:18:52,786 --> 00:18:54,305
Are we going to talk
about that or what?
447
00:18:56,100 --> 00:18:57,170
Damn it.
448
00:18:58,447 --> 00:18:59,827
I'm not getting the job.
449
00:18:59,828 --> 00:19:03,002
Aw, babe, I'm sorry.
You deserved it.
450
00:19:03,003 --> 00:19:06,040
Hmm, I don't know
about that.
451
00:19:06,041 --> 00:19:09,526
Anyway, if I had gotten
it, I would've missed
being here, so...
452
00:19:09,527 --> 00:19:12,909
I'm pretty happy
staying right where
I am. On Page 3.
453
00:19:12,910 --> 00:19:15,981
Well, babe, I am so sorry
I haven't been around
to help you with everything.
454
00:19:15,982 --> 00:19:17,327
Oh, that's okay.
455
00:19:17,328 --> 00:19:20,054
I learned origami
and button making.
456
00:19:20,055 --> 00:19:23,195
Oh, and Brendan, I know you
had something really important
you wanted to talk me...
457
00:19:23,196 --> 00:19:24,645
I'm so sorry
I haven't had time.
458
00:19:24,646 --> 00:19:26,785
Oh, no. It's cool.
I totally worked it out.
459
00:19:26,786 --> 00:19:29,270
And, for the first time,
I made a decision
without your advice.
460
00:19:29,271 --> 00:19:30,582
And it felt pretty good.
461
00:19:30,583 --> 00:19:32,446
Great.
And so did Mike.
462
00:19:32,447 --> 00:19:33,723
That's true.
463
00:19:33,724 --> 00:19:35,518
And so did I.
What do you mean?
464
00:19:35,519 --> 00:19:37,968
I've decided that I'm going
to London with Steph.
465
00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:39,798
Really?
Yeah.
466
00:19:39,799 --> 00:19:41,938
Now that Mike's left the
nest, I feel like I can
move on with my life.
467
00:19:41,939 --> 00:19:43,009
Oh!
468
00:19:50,154 --> 00:19:52,190
Oh, this is so
incredibly sad.
469
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,846
It's Saturday night,
and it's dark.
470
00:19:53,847 --> 00:19:56,090
Yeah, end of an era.
471
00:19:56,091 --> 00:19:59,369
Yeah. It would have
been nice to have had one
last nightcap here, huh?
472
00:19:59,370 --> 00:20:01,200
Well, I don't know
if it's stocked, but...
473
00:20:02,580 --> 00:20:03,822
What are you doing?
474
00:20:03,823 --> 00:20:04,961
Welcome to my new place.
475
00:20:04,962 --> 00:20:06,065
No!
476
00:20:06,066 --> 00:20:07,515
No!
What?
477
00:20:07,516 --> 00:20:09,068
What?
478
00:20:09,069 --> 00:20:10,794
I'd been wanting to break
away from John's for a while,
479
00:20:10,795 --> 00:20:13,072
so when Crowley told
me he was selling the
place, I jumped on it.
480
00:20:13,073 --> 00:20:14,315
I had to. It just
made sense.
481
00:20:14,316 --> 00:20:15,730
Well, look at you.
482
00:20:15,731 --> 00:20:16,938
Yeah, look at me.
483
00:20:16,939 --> 00:20:19,838
Brendo! You
saved Crowley's!
484
00:20:19,839 --> 00:20:22,841
Yeah, well, you know,
I'm going to paint the whole
thing black, drop in a stage,
485
00:20:22,842 --> 00:20:24,808
charge a cover, fill it with
douche bags, but yeah.
486
00:20:27,053 --> 00:20:28,743
Kidding! Kidding, come on.
487
00:20:28,744 --> 00:20:30,849
Oh, man.
488
00:20:30,850 --> 00:20:33,921
Hey, it's you guys.
Hey!
489
00:20:33,922 --> 00:20:35,992
We were walking by.
We saw the lights on!
What's going on?
490
00:20:35,993 --> 00:20:37,407
Brendo bought Crowley's.
491
00:20:37,408 --> 00:20:38,926
It's Brendo's Crowley's.
492
00:20:38,927 --> 00:20:40,997
What? Dude!
493
00:20:40,998 --> 00:20:44,276
All right, can I just say
that in my first moments
in Brendo's Crowley's,
494
00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:45,484
the service is terrible.
495
00:20:45,485 --> 00:20:47,245
All right, all right,
who needs?
496
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:50,317
Oh, yes, please.
497
00:20:50,318 --> 00:20:53,043
Sometimes
it takes getting your
priorities straight
498
00:20:53,044 --> 00:20:55,425
to truly appreciate
what you already have.
499
00:20:55,426 --> 00:20:57,738
Cheers, everybody!
Cheers!
500
00:20:57,739 --> 00:20:59,016
To Crowley's.
Bring it in,
bring it in.
39915
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