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1
00:00:02,347 --> 00:00:06,108
Sometimes it's hard
to be faced with the truth,
so we pretend not to see it.
2
00:00:06,109 --> 00:00:09,008
Well, I can handle Megan Fox.
Says who?
3
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:12,633
I just took the "Can you
handle Megan Fox?" quiz.
It says I can.
4
00:00:14,773 --> 00:00:17,050
Bulge magazine? Really?
5
00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:19,466
You want me to read.
I'm reading.
6
00:00:19,467 --> 00:00:23,712
Hey, Robert,
I'm going to go to the bar,
uh, to order a drink.
7
00:00:23,713 --> 00:00:25,817
Would you care to join me?
8
00:00:25,818 --> 00:00:31,789
Uh, I can see that you're
trying to communicate with me,
and I want to know what it is,
9
00:00:31,790 --> 00:00:33,653
so, yes.
10
00:00:33,654 --> 00:00:36,864
"How to get her to
bring her palz into bed"?
11
00:00:37,589 --> 00:00:39,486
With a "Z"?
12
00:00:39,487 --> 00:00:42,593
Well, they have
movie reviews, too. They gave
Hurt Locker three thumbs up.
13
00:00:42,594 --> 00:00:43,802
Those aren't thumbs.
14
00:00:48,979 --> 00:00:51,705
Okay, this is of
the utmost secrecy.
15
00:00:51,706 --> 00:00:53,742
Business at the store is...
16
00:00:53,743 --> 00:00:56,296
Well, there is
no business at the store.
That's too bad.
17
00:00:56,297 --> 00:00:58,505
Yeah, and I gotta
make some money,
18
00:00:58,506 --> 00:01:01,129
so I have a job interview
with the Bulls' PR department.
19
00:01:01,130 --> 00:01:03,476
Well, that's great!
20
00:01:03,477 --> 00:01:06,686
But I haven't done the whole
"dark socks/job interview"
thing in quite a while.
21
00:01:06,687 --> 00:01:08,757
Maybe you can help me prep?
Of course!
22
00:01:08,758 --> 00:01:12,174
That sucks about the store,
though. I feel bad for Kenny.
What'd he say?
23
00:01:12,175 --> 00:01:14,245
No. I can't tell him.
24
00:01:14,246 --> 00:01:17,869
I really think you
need to warn him.
Like, as soon as possible.
25
00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:19,423
Who wants to have
that conversation?
26
00:01:19,424 --> 00:01:21,528
No, I'll tell him
when the time is right.
27
00:01:21,529 --> 00:01:26,257
Now, listen. This is a "super
secret code red can't tell
anybody" situation.
28
00:01:26,258 --> 00:01:27,811
Hey, you copy?
Yeah.
29
00:01:29,468 --> 00:01:32,470
Hey, you guys!
Hey!
30
00:01:32,471 --> 00:01:35,404
Hey, you guys remember
- my sister, Tracee, right?
- Yeah!
31
00:01:35,405 --> 00:01:37,096
Yeah, she's staying with me
for a little while.
32
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,615
Oh, what happened to...
Derrick? Got really sick.
33
00:01:39,616 --> 00:01:40,927
Sorry to hear that.
34
00:01:40,928 --> 00:01:42,584
Came down with a case
of dickhead-itis.
35
00:01:42,585 --> 00:01:44,206
Ah, yes.
36
00:01:44,207 --> 00:01:47,071
Oh, and we're going
to that Mongolian barbecue
place tomorrow
37
00:01:47,072 --> 00:01:48,486
to celebrate her freedom.
38
00:01:48,487 --> 00:01:50,454
Galbi? I love that place.
39
00:01:50,455 --> 00:01:53,733
No matter what I put
on my plate, they just mix it
on that grill and...
40
00:01:53,734 --> 00:01:56,322
And it all comes out
looking the exact same!
Like a giant pile of brown...
41
00:01:56,323 --> 00:01:57,806
Extremely delicioso...
42
00:01:57,807 --> 00:01:59,670
Glop! Yes! Love it!
In. When?
43
00:01:59,671 --> 00:02:02,845
Tomorrow, 8:00.
We'll see you there?
Done.
44
00:02:02,846 --> 00:02:05,054
Oh, Mike, we gotta
take a trip up to Fond du Lac.
45
00:02:05,055 --> 00:02:07,643
Estate sale. Guy's got a bunch
of great Packers stuff.
46
00:02:07,644 --> 00:02:09,680
I'm in!
Really?
47
00:02:09,681 --> 00:02:12,441
Yeah, we can use
my nephew's pickup.
48
00:02:12,442 --> 00:02:15,962
Okay, well, I gotta
get home and file
my story by 10:00, so...
49
00:02:15,963 --> 00:02:17,584
I'll see you guys.
50
00:02:17,585 --> 00:02:20,656
Uh-huh.
I'll be right there.
51
00:02:20,657 --> 00:02:23,107
Okay, oh, my God,
this is perfect.
52
00:02:23,108 --> 00:02:27,042
"How often do you
and your chick get fluffy
in the barnyard?"
53
00:02:27,043 --> 00:02:29,803
Well, in a perfect world,
my chick and I would
get fluffy twice a day.
54
00:02:29,804 --> 00:02:31,357
Please. You'd die in a week.
55
00:02:31,358 --> 00:02:34,670
Okay, it says here
16 times a month!
56
00:02:34,671 --> 00:02:36,948
That's ridiculous.
57
00:02:36,949 --> 00:02:40,228
Four times a week?
That seems low.
58
00:02:40,229 --> 00:02:42,782
What?
Three times a week
for us, minimum.
59
00:02:42,783 --> 00:02:44,853
Plus Free Skate Thursday.
60
00:02:44,854 --> 00:02:46,268
Wait. What do you mean,
"Free Skate Thursday"?
61
00:02:46,269 --> 00:02:47,649
No, don't ask.
Please, that's...
No, don't...
62
00:02:47,650 --> 00:02:50,410
I'm sorry.
Four times a week is low?
63
00:02:50,411 --> 00:02:53,413
Well, you tell us.
You're dating someone.
That means guaranteed...
64
00:02:55,485 --> 00:02:57,832
Does four times
a week seem low?
65
00:02:59,524 --> 00:03:01,319
I don't know.
66
00:03:02,630 --> 00:03:05,460
Oh, look.
Avatar got six bulges.
67
00:03:05,461 --> 00:03:07,531
Yeah, but they gave
John Mayer's new album
68
00:03:07,532 --> 00:03:09,810
four "humuna-humunas"
and a "schwing"
and it's not that great.
69
00:03:14,090 --> 00:03:16,196
Yeah! You like that?
70
00:03:16,955 --> 00:03:17,956
Oh!
71
00:03:18,784 --> 00:03:19,785
Hey.
72
00:03:20,476 --> 00:03:22,235
Hey, Peej!
73
00:03:22,236 --> 00:03:26,308
Dude, I'm playing this kid
from Latvia. He's, like, 14,
but he's awesome.
74
00:03:27,552 --> 00:03:29,415
Mmm.
75
00:03:29,416 --> 00:03:34,799
Aw, thanks, babe. No way!
In there? Well, go get it!
Hurry up! Hurry up!
76
00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:38,148
Hey, I am going to go
take a bath and go to bed.
77
00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:44,257
I'm just going to
be in the bath.
78
00:03:44,258 --> 00:03:47,226
Some candles
and some bubbles and...
79
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:50,159
Okay, babe.
I'll try not to wake you.
80
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:53,405
To my girlfriend, Reini,
because I'm a grown man.
81
00:03:55,545 --> 00:03:57,995
Oh, no! You're shooting
me! You're shooting me!
82
00:03:57,996 --> 00:04:02,138
No matter how hard
we pretend, it's impossible
to ignore the truth.
83
00:04:08,317 --> 00:04:10,007
So where's Bobby at?
Oh, he'll be here.
84
00:04:10,008 --> 00:04:12,561
He, uh, needed
a nap after work.
85
00:04:12,562 --> 00:04:15,771
Oh, 'cause I got home after
3:00 a.m. and he was still up
playing that video game.
86
00:04:15,772 --> 00:04:18,602
Yeah, I was sound asleep
when he came to bed.
87
00:04:18,603 --> 00:04:20,880
That's not right. A man should
be in bed with his lady.
88
00:04:20,881 --> 00:04:23,054
Can I just say
that if you were my lady...
89
00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:25,264
Which I'm not.
And don't say, "My lady."
90
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:28,715
But, if you were,
we wouldn't be playing
good army vs. bad army.
91
00:04:28,716 --> 00:04:30,338
We'd be playing
Mike vs. your pants.
92
00:04:30,339 --> 00:04:32,857
You gotta get
a girlfriend, man.
93
00:04:32,858 --> 00:04:35,308
Is that why you were so
bent out of shape about
the "four times a week"?
94
00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:37,103
"Bent out of shape"
is a little strong.
95
00:04:37,104 --> 00:04:39,070
Oh, you've hit it.
You're there.
96
00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:40,555
You've reached the NTO.
97
00:04:40,556 --> 00:04:42,626
No!
Wait, what is that?
98
00:04:42,627 --> 00:04:46,595
The NTO, all right?
The Natural Tapering Off.
Every relationship has one.
99
00:04:46,596 --> 00:04:49,011
The red-hot lava-passion
has to cool.
100
00:04:49,012 --> 00:04:50,772
I mean, without the NTO,
101
00:04:50,773 --> 00:04:53,499
you would burn each other up
with your fiery love
blaze power rods.
102
00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:55,708
Ew. So many times.
103
00:04:55,709 --> 00:04:57,675
Happens to everyone.
104
00:04:57,676 --> 00:05:00,437
Well, usually it happens in
the eighth year of marriage,
but you're an old soul.
105
00:05:00,438 --> 00:05:01,852
There's nothing to be
ashamed of, okay?
106
00:05:01,853 --> 00:05:04,233
Every relationship needs
to cool off a little bit.
107
00:05:04,234 --> 00:05:06,892
Okay, so there's nothing
to worry about, right?
I mean, it's not...
108
00:05:07,859 --> 00:05:09,584
Me?
109
00:05:09,585 --> 00:05:13,242
No. Guys are thick.
Just be straightforward.
Tell Bobby how you feel.
110
00:05:13,243 --> 00:05:15,900
I don't want to say
something and then have sex.
111
00:05:15,901 --> 00:05:18,696
I won't know if it's,
you know, pity...
112
00:05:18,697 --> 00:05:21,354
Pity sex or what. I just...
113
00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:22,942
I want him to want me.
114
00:05:22,943 --> 00:05:25,185
I'm sure he does.
Don't panic.
115
00:05:25,186 --> 00:05:28,741
It's natural.
Just give him a little nudge.
I'm sure he'll perk up.
116
00:05:28,742 --> 00:05:32,123
You've been in a relationship
long enough that you've
actually reached the NTO.
117
00:05:32,124 --> 00:05:33,746
Okay? I haven't
had that in a long time.
118
00:05:33,747 --> 00:05:36,300
Whose fault is that?
It ain't my fault.
119
00:05:36,301 --> 00:05:38,060
Dude, they always
do something.
120
00:05:38,061 --> 00:05:40,200
You know, whether they're
finishing my pancakes,
121
00:05:40,201 --> 00:05:43,169
or they're wearing their hair
in the pigtails, or they're
doing the baby talk.
122
00:05:43,170 --> 00:05:46,829
I mean, one "Bwendan,"
it's time for me
to fake a tapeworm.
123
00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:50,245
Kenny, you okay, man?
124
00:05:50,246 --> 00:05:54,318
No, I just came from
the accountant. I gotta
shut the store down,
125
00:05:54,319 --> 00:05:56,769
but I can't fire Mike.
It'll kill him.
126
00:05:56,770 --> 00:05:59,427
No, dude,
I think he'd be okay.
127
00:05:59,428 --> 00:06:01,670
You really should tell him.
128
00:06:01,671 --> 00:06:03,638
Nah, I'm just going
to burn the store down,
collect the insurance money.
129
00:06:03,639 --> 00:06:04,880
I know a guy.
130
00:06:04,881 --> 00:06:08,056
Yeah, but you always said
"that guy" was Mike.
131
00:06:08,057 --> 00:06:09,644
Besides,
you'd never survive jail.
132
00:06:09,645 --> 00:06:13,302
Wrong.
Step 1: Find your hustle.
Cigarettes, magazines.
133
00:06:13,303 --> 00:06:16,616
Step 2: You find
the biggest guy there,
you throw a chair at him.
134
00:06:16,617 --> 00:06:19,654
Listen, you gotta
promise not to tell
anybody about this.
135
00:06:19,655 --> 00:06:21,518
Oh, man...
136
00:06:21,519 --> 00:06:23,658
Hey, how was business today?
137
00:06:23,659 --> 00:06:25,349
Same.
138
00:06:25,350 --> 00:06:27,800
We'll rebound.
Yeah, we will.
We'll come back stronger!
139
00:06:27,801 --> 00:06:31,804
Actually, I've been meaning
to talk to you about
a mini-mall in Schaumburg.
140
00:06:31,805 --> 00:06:34,876
Are we talking expansion?
That's why we're partners!
141
00:06:34,877 --> 00:06:37,120
Oh, my God.
142
00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:42,090
I want to live here.
143
00:06:42,091 --> 00:06:45,024
I am so happy.
144
00:06:45,025 --> 00:06:48,407
Kenny, you don't
have any vegetables
on your plate at all.
145
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,201
You're gonna get scurvy.
146
00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:54,033
Only pirates and models
get scurvy. And I have
a vegetable, thank you.
147
00:06:54,034 --> 00:06:55,724
Water chestnut?
That's a nut.
148
00:06:58,003 --> 00:07:01,212
So, Brendan, Stephy tells me
you collect concert posters?
149
00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:03,594
Yeah, of course.
Do you know Justin Hampton?
150
00:07:03,595 --> 00:07:05,838
I love Justin Hampton,
he's a genius!
He has an exhibit on Thursday
151
00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:07,598
and DJ Turnbuckle
is spinning.
152
00:07:07,599 --> 00:07:09,980
Seriously?
We're going to that.
I know we are!
153
00:07:09,981 --> 00:07:12,051
DJ Turnbuckle!
And Justin Hampton!
154
00:07:12,052 --> 00:07:14,641
That's completely
meaningless to me!
Me, too!
155
00:07:18,714 --> 00:07:20,956
We're going to
take these great aphrodisiacs
156
00:07:20,957 --> 00:07:23,338
asparagus, oysters,
chocolate,
157
00:07:23,339 --> 00:07:27,825
we're going to put them
into one meal that says,
"Let's get it on!" Right?
158
00:07:27,826 --> 00:07:30,553
First thing we're
going to do is, we're going
to chop up this asparagus...
159
00:07:33,073 --> 00:07:35,039
P.J.? What are
you doing here?
160
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,525
Seriously?
What are you doing here?
161
00:07:37,526 --> 00:07:40,666
Bobby wanted to
see me in a suit!
I thought you went to the gym?
162
00:07:40,667 --> 00:07:45,637
I did. Um, I actually
got some oysters
and chocolate mousse
163
00:07:46,258 --> 00:07:47,501
and a movie.
164
00:07:49,745 --> 00:07:51,746
Why are you in a suit?
165
00:07:51,747 --> 00:07:53,748
You can tell her,
but that is it.
166
00:07:53,749 --> 00:07:56,785
Mike has a job interview.
Oh. Tell Kenny?
167
00:07:56,786 --> 00:07:59,132
He's not telling Kenny.
Dude, you have to.
168
00:07:59,133 --> 00:08:01,341
I will tell him
when it is time for that.
169
00:08:01,342 --> 00:08:04,275
Until then,
it is time for me
to get the Bulls job.
170
00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:06,830
And now you know my life.
171
00:08:06,831 --> 00:08:09,833
Can you pretend
to be the head of HR?
172
00:08:09,834 --> 00:08:13,043
Well, actually,
I was hoping that, um...
173
00:08:13,044 --> 00:08:16,149
We could make some dinner
and curl up to
174
00:08:16,150 --> 00:08:18,187
a very particular movie.
175
00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:24,779
Yeah, what do you need?
176
00:08:24,780 --> 00:08:27,816
Just sit here.
Ask him these questions.
177
00:08:30,544 --> 00:08:31,682
Wow.
178
00:08:31,683 --> 00:08:33,823
Oysters and mousse! Thanks.
179
00:08:34,686 --> 00:08:37,239
Yeah, no problem.
180
00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:42,106
"What experience prepares you
for this position?"
"Prepairs"? P-R-E-P-A-I-R?
181
00:08:42,107 --> 00:08:45,627
That is an
excellent question,
HR Lady.
182
00:08:45,628 --> 00:08:46,802
I think...
183
00:08:48,907 --> 00:08:54,602
Dude, I love this movie.
I forgot Mickey Rourke
used to look like a person!
184
00:08:54,603 --> 00:08:58,295
Yeah, and Kim Basinger
was so hot, you actually
forgot how crazy she is.
185
00:09:05,441 --> 00:09:06,994
Night, Peej.
186
00:09:12,103 --> 00:09:17,176
Well, that's great. No,
thank you so much, Barbara.
And may I call you Babs?
187
00:09:17,177 --> 00:09:19,972
Okay, I won't. No, no.
I'll see you Monday.
188
00:09:19,973 --> 00:09:24,114
Sha-pow! Dude!
189
00:09:24,115 --> 00:09:26,392
"J" to the "O"
to the "B" to the "B"...
190
00:09:26,393 --> 00:09:28,428
One too many "B's."
I got the job, buddy!
191
00:09:28,429 --> 00:09:31,052
Congrats! And now you can
break the news to Kenny.
192
00:09:31,053 --> 00:09:33,848
No, no, no. Dude, I haven't
even given him notice.
193
00:09:33,849 --> 00:09:35,677
No, use your head, okay?
194
00:09:35,678 --> 00:09:38,093
You have to tell him.
What? Are you just gonna
stop showing up for work?
195
00:09:38,094 --> 00:09:42,408
No, I'll just rock both jobs
until the store turns around
and he doesn't need me.
196
00:09:42,409 --> 00:09:44,686
And when you say
"rock both jobs,"
197
00:09:44,687 --> 00:09:48,828
what's your solution
to the can't-literally-be-
in-two-places-at-once thing?
198
00:09:48,829 --> 00:09:52,936
Surgery, dead aunt,
time-space continuum...
I'll figure it out.
199
00:09:52,937 --> 00:09:55,283
Dude, please.
I'm getting a stomachache.
200
00:09:55,284 --> 00:10:00,115
So I spent $65 on food
and now I have a crisper
full of oysters.
201
00:10:00,116 --> 00:10:03,291
You guys are just in a rut,
all right? You gotta shake
things up to get out of it.
202
00:10:03,292 --> 00:10:05,604
I'm not bringing my "palz"
in the bedroom.
203
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:09,400
Hey, my friend, you have
assets which you generally
do not work, all right?
204
00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:10,817
Time to work them.
205
00:10:11,749 --> 00:10:13,439
Okay, like how?
206
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:16,580
Well, if it was Mike, I'd say
rent a fluffy bunny outfit,
but, uh...
207
00:10:16,581 --> 00:10:19,203
Schoolgirls,
sexy librarians,
old as time.
208
00:10:19,204 --> 00:10:21,550
Okay, so just to be clear,
209
00:10:21,551 --> 00:10:25,175
you are suggesting I actually
dress as a librarian.
210
00:10:25,176 --> 00:10:27,556
A sexy librarian.
Look, come on,
you can do this.
211
00:10:27,557 --> 00:10:30,215
Show me what you look like
with your hair up.
212
00:10:30,837 --> 00:10:31,803
Go on.
213
00:10:36,083 --> 00:10:38,914
Wow, your hair is
smoking like that!
214
00:10:40,847 --> 00:10:44,091
Why would I say that?
What's wrong with me?
215
00:10:45,783 --> 00:10:49,786
Go get me a drink and
I want a small bowl of nuts.
216
00:10:49,787 --> 00:10:51,651
Brendo, come with me.
217
00:10:54,792 --> 00:10:58,622
What are your intentions
with my girlfriend's sister?
218
00:10:58,623 --> 00:11:00,969
Well, we're going to
the Justin Hampton show.
What do you mean?
219
00:11:00,970 --> 00:11:03,938
If you screw up,
I will have both Layne sisters
sitting in my living room
220
00:11:03,939 --> 00:11:06,285
glaring at me, saying things
I don't want to hear.
221
00:11:06,286 --> 00:11:10,116
"Why do men always" and
"That's just like a man" and
"Even Kenny here..."
222
00:11:10,117 --> 00:11:13,361
Dude, we're gonna have
a good time, all right? Relax.
I've been on a million dates.
223
00:11:13,362 --> 00:11:17,607
That doesn't help, okay? I'm
just saying, if you mess this
up, you're dealing with her.
224
00:11:18,885 --> 00:11:20,264
Wine!
225
00:11:20,265 --> 00:11:21,887
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
226
00:11:21,888 --> 00:11:24,061
Hey.
Where'd you run off to
after lunch, Mike?
227
00:11:24,062 --> 00:11:27,789
Oh, yeah, Mike,
why don't you tell the man
where you ran off to?
228
00:11:27,790 --> 00:11:30,378
I had some kind of surgery.
What?
229
00:11:30,379 --> 00:11:34,900
Hey, I had an idea for
the Schaumburg store.
Online auctions!
230
00:11:34,901 --> 00:11:37,488
That's my partner.
Always thinking.
231
00:11:37,489 --> 00:11:39,387
Did you hear yourselves?
232
00:11:39,388 --> 00:11:40,733
I love working with you, man.
233
00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:42,667
Me, too,
we should do it forever.
234
00:11:45,394 --> 00:11:46,464
Wow.
235
00:11:47,051 --> 00:11:48,810
Boop!
236
00:11:53,402 --> 00:11:54,610
Brendan?
237
00:11:55,197 --> 00:11:56,646
Hey!
238
00:11:58,062 --> 00:11:59,235
Hey...
239
00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:02,548
Isn't this great?
240
00:12:02,549 --> 00:12:05,102
So great.
Look at your hair.
241
00:12:05,103 --> 00:12:07,934
Oh, it's my "fun mood" hair.
I'm in a fun mood.
242
00:12:08,589 --> 00:12:10,004
Ah.
243
00:12:10,005 --> 00:12:13,179
You wanna get some wine?
Maybe a lot of it?
Absolutely!
244
00:12:13,180 --> 00:12:16,631
Mommy needs
awot of wine, Bwendan!
245
00:12:16,632 --> 00:12:19,186
Ooh, they have
a Shiwaz!
246
00:12:21,810 --> 00:12:25,226
So here you go.
I brought you the Louboutins.
247
00:12:25,227 --> 00:12:28,022
So now are you going
to tell me what's going on
between you and Bobby?
248
00:12:28,023 --> 00:12:30,473
Oh, no, it's nothing.
It's just...
249
00:12:31,820 --> 00:12:33,199
I think we're in
a little bit of a rut.
250
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:37,203
How long has it been?
Honestly, since
before he moved in.
251
00:12:37,204 --> 00:12:40,310
Mmm, well, what does
Bobby say about this?
252
00:12:40,311 --> 00:12:43,900
Oh, no, no, no.
Nobody wants to have
that conversation.
253
00:12:43,901 --> 00:12:48,112
No, no, no. I'm
just going to get out of
this rut with some red shoes.
254
00:12:50,459 --> 00:12:55,532
Why do you hurt me?
These aren't shoes.
These are Louboutins.
255
00:12:55,533 --> 00:13:00,330
These are incendiary devices.
I couldn't even carry
these in a paper bag.
256
00:13:00,331 --> 00:13:02,920
Otherwise, the bag would...
I know what incendiary means.
257
00:13:07,131 --> 00:13:12,032
Okay. Fine. But be careful,
Bobby won't be responsible
for his actions.
258
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:18,244
Reini, you're complaining
to the wrong guy.
259
00:13:18,245 --> 00:13:20,075
Okay, hold on. Let me
get to the train station.
260
00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:24,493
Hello, Mr. Newman.
261
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,980
Hey! Are we
262
00:13:29,670 --> 00:13:30,671
having sundaes?
263
00:13:32,432 --> 00:13:35,089
Sort of.
264
00:13:35,090 --> 00:13:40,095
It's my girlfriend. I don't
know, she's dressed like
she's running for president.
265
00:13:41,786 --> 00:13:45,617
Oh, it sure is hot
in this library.
266
00:13:46,273 --> 00:13:47,549
Oh!
267
00:13:47,550 --> 00:13:49,483
I really have no idea.
268
00:13:54,626 --> 00:13:55,937
What...
269
00:13:55,938 --> 00:13:58,560
No, no, no. No, Reini.
She's not with Falcon,
270
00:13:58,561 --> 00:14:00,252
because it's a game
and we're not fighting
in a real war.
271
00:14:00,253 --> 00:14:02,289
I don't want to have this
conversation again.
272
00:14:03,014 --> 00:14:04,187
Mmm.
273
00:14:04,188 --> 00:14:05,741
Mmm!
274
00:14:15,682 --> 00:14:17,580
Whoa! Peej!
275
00:14:20,342 --> 00:14:21,343
Huh.
276
00:14:23,690 --> 00:14:26,726
Wow. That's in a knot.
277
00:14:26,727 --> 00:14:29,764
That went well.
What are you doing?
278
00:14:29,765 --> 00:14:31,732
No, not you, Reini!
Get back in the roundhouse!
279
00:14:37,566 --> 00:14:39,705
Hey.
Oh, hey, man.
280
00:14:39,706 --> 00:14:42,087
Uh, I got a Tracee problem.
281
00:14:42,088 --> 00:14:43,951
You mean, like, a problem
with how much you like her?
282
00:14:43,952 --> 00:14:47,886
Or, like, a problem figuring
out when you should propose?
283
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:51,510
Date 2 did not go well.
Okay? She had "fun mood" hair.
284
00:14:51,511 --> 00:14:53,926
I'm out.
Oh, dude!
285
00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:55,307
Hey, guys.
Hey.
286
00:14:55,308 --> 00:14:57,654
What's going on?
Brendo's ruining my life.
287
00:14:57,655 --> 00:15:00,450
Yeah? Tracee?
Not feeling it?
Not feeling it.
288
00:15:00,451 --> 00:15:02,003
Well, you better
start feeling it, okay?
289
00:15:02,004 --> 00:15:04,005
'Cause I got two sisters
complaining about everything.
290
00:15:04,006 --> 00:15:05,973
I have to clean my toothbrush.
You have to what?
291
00:15:05,974 --> 00:15:07,802
You know,
I gotta clean off
the toothbrush handle.
292
00:15:07,803 --> 00:15:11,081
Yeah, the toothpaste ooze
settles down into
the toothbrush mug.
293
00:15:11,082 --> 00:15:12,600
Drives them crazy.
294
00:15:12,601 --> 00:15:15,430
And that is
why I'm single.
That's not why you're single.
295
00:15:15,431 --> 00:15:17,398
Why don't you just
tell Stephanie
you think her sister's ugly.
296
00:15:17,399 --> 00:15:18,468
What's the problem?
297
00:15:18,469 --> 00:15:20,125
That's why you're single.
298
00:15:20,126 --> 00:15:22,299
I can't, man. Would you
want to tell Stephanie
you're not into her sister?
299
00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:23,991
I mean, dude, come on.
You've got to
help me out here.
300
00:15:23,992 --> 00:15:26,787
Brendo, this is
between you and Stephanie.
I'm talking to a ghost.
301
00:15:28,272 --> 00:15:30,584
Yeah, I'm gonna
need one of these.
302
00:15:34,588 --> 00:15:37,211
What are you
so dressed up for?
Um, funeral.
303
00:15:37,212 --> 00:15:39,903
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, my God.
304
00:15:39,904 --> 00:15:42,354
Brendan, how did
your date go with Tracee?
305
00:15:42,355 --> 00:15:44,632
How did she say it was?
Great.
306
00:15:44,633 --> 00:15:47,876
She said it was great.
It was. It really was.
307
00:15:47,877 --> 00:15:52,329
Okay, that is it! You know
what? People just need
to say what is on their minds!
308
00:15:52,330 --> 00:15:57,645
Right now! I mean, we all know
that everybody at this table
is lying a little bit, okay?
309
00:15:57,646 --> 00:16:00,200
So it's time that
people come clean.
310
00:16:01,339 --> 00:16:02,512
Brendan?
311
00:16:02,513 --> 00:16:05,929
Are you lying
about my sister?
312
00:16:05,930 --> 00:16:08,276
All right, Steph, look,
your sister's great, okay?
313
00:16:08,277 --> 00:16:11,486
I just...
I'm so busy right now.
314
00:16:11,487 --> 00:16:13,488
What are you talking about?
315
00:16:13,489 --> 00:16:15,352
Well, my therapist, I mean,
316
00:16:15,353 --> 00:16:17,389
said that I shouldn't even
date anybody for, like,
a year, so, you know...
317
00:16:17,390 --> 00:16:19,115
You're not in therapy.
318
00:16:19,116 --> 00:16:20,772
Well, also, um,
319
00:16:21,877 --> 00:16:24,051
I don't date women of color.
320
00:16:24,052 --> 00:16:26,087
What?
321
00:16:26,088 --> 00:16:29,816
What about Monica Lambert
in college? She was black.
322
00:16:30,541 --> 00:16:31,817
Was she?
323
00:16:31,818 --> 00:16:33,957
Oh, Brendo,
this is your bottom.
324
00:16:33,958 --> 00:16:37,650
So you'd rather come off
as a racist than say you
don't want to date my sister?
325
00:16:37,651 --> 00:16:40,412
Look, I'm sorry, Steph.
I like her. I really do.
I just...
326
00:16:40,413 --> 00:16:42,586
I don't know. I don't see us
having a future together.
327
00:16:42,587 --> 00:16:45,556
Can you believe that?
You're ruining my life!
328
00:16:47,454 --> 00:16:49,938
Plus, her sister
is a terrific woman.
329
00:16:49,939 --> 00:16:53,908
Kenny, Kenny, it's okay.
Okay, calm down.
330
00:16:53,909 --> 00:16:58,119
Sometimes two great people
don't gel. It's okay.
331
00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:00,673
Sorry, Steph.
No worries, honey.
332
00:17:00,674 --> 00:17:03,331
Tracee's a big girl.
So what are you
gonna tell her?
333
00:17:03,332 --> 00:17:05,748
Oh, I'm gonna tell her that
Brendan hates black people.
334
00:17:08,958 --> 00:17:11,961
Mike, what about you?
Did you have something
you want to say?
335
00:17:13,584 --> 00:17:15,413
I like black people.
Mike!
336
00:17:18,727 --> 00:17:22,937
Kenny, I can't work
at the store anymore,
because I got a new job.
337
00:17:22,938 --> 00:17:26,216
With the Bulls.
And I started today,
338
00:17:26,217 --> 00:17:27,286
so I quit.
339
00:17:27,287 --> 00:17:29,392
Oh, my God, that's great!
Really?
340
00:17:29,393 --> 00:17:32,050
Yeah, it's great
because you're fired!
No way!
341
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,638
Yeah. I met with
the accountant. He says
we gotta close the doors.
342
00:17:34,639 --> 00:17:36,640
That's great!
Well, it's not that great.
343
00:17:36,641 --> 00:17:39,126
But I'm glad to know that
you're gonna be all right.
344
00:17:39,127 --> 00:17:43,130
There we go. Doesn't that feel
good to just clear the air?
345
00:17:43,131 --> 00:17:45,442
I mean, we're all
friends here, guys,
346
00:17:45,443 --> 00:17:48,377
so if we're not being
honest with each other,
what are we even doing?
347
00:17:49,999 --> 00:17:51,000
Yes.
348
00:17:55,798 --> 00:17:58,766
Oh, come on.
Do I have to?
349
00:17:58,767 --> 00:18:01,320
Everybody up. Come on.
No, I have jacks!
350
00:18:01,321 --> 00:18:04,047
Don't care.
Let's go.
351
00:18:04,048 --> 00:18:06,153
Where are we going?
Brendo's room.
352
00:18:06,154 --> 00:18:07,534
Really?
353
00:18:08,604 --> 00:18:11,019
What's going on?
354
00:18:11,020 --> 00:18:14,747
I read this stupid
article about how often
couples have sex.
355
00:18:14,748 --> 00:18:17,957
And, I mean...
356
00:18:17,958 --> 00:18:20,443
We haven't, you know,
since you moved in.
357
00:18:20,444 --> 00:18:22,169
And I'm kind of worried
that something's wrong.
358
00:18:22,170 --> 00:18:24,205
And then Brendo
told me about the NTO...
359
00:18:24,206 --> 00:18:26,345
Brendo?
360
00:18:26,346 --> 00:18:28,106
You should have
talked to me.
361
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,556
No, I know that, but if
I talked to you, it would
skew the results.
362
00:18:30,557 --> 00:18:32,455
And then Mike agreed.
Mike?
363
00:18:32,456 --> 00:18:35,596
Mike? You talked
to Mike about this?
I find that very confusing.
364
00:18:35,597 --> 00:18:38,116
I've never been in here.
No, me neither.
365
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,221
This place
smells funky.
366
00:18:40,222 --> 00:18:42,189
All right,
take it easy.
367
00:18:42,190 --> 00:18:43,845
Dude, what is
that smell?
368
00:18:43,846 --> 00:18:46,917
Sock? Gerbil?
You have a gerbil?
369
00:18:46,918 --> 00:18:48,540
Yeah, I'm 8.
370
00:18:48,541 --> 00:18:50,335
I'm just...
371
00:18:50,336 --> 00:18:53,339
I'm afraid you don't find me
attractive anymore.
372
00:18:55,306 --> 00:18:58,584
Peej, what are you
talking about? I...
373
00:18:58,585 --> 00:19:02,795
I find you incredibly sexy.
374
00:19:02,796 --> 00:19:06,834
I mean, you're gorgeous
and you don't take crap
from anybody
375
00:19:06,835 --> 00:19:10,424
and you know Kerry Wood's
ERA his rookie year.
376
00:19:10,425 --> 00:19:12,288
It's 3.4.
377
00:19:12,289 --> 00:19:14,048
God, I want you.
378
00:19:14,049 --> 00:19:17,327
But so then why
are we tapering off?
379
00:19:17,328 --> 00:19:20,434
I mean, my feelings haven't
tapered off, you know?
380
00:19:20,435 --> 00:19:22,506
I don't want to taper off.
381
00:19:23,472 --> 00:19:24,922
It's not you.
382
00:19:26,372 --> 00:19:28,580
I guess...
383
00:19:28,581 --> 00:19:32,411
I don't know.
I guess I just haven't
felt very sexy lately.
384
00:19:32,412 --> 00:19:36,001
Like I've lost
all my mojo
or something.
385
00:19:36,002 --> 00:19:40,005
I don't know. Maybe
it's just the stress of
everything crashing down,
386
00:19:40,006 --> 00:19:43,940
and my family,
and no apartment,
387
00:19:43,941 --> 00:19:45,390
no money.
388
00:19:45,391 --> 00:19:47,461
Yeah, but, babe,
none of that matters to me.
389
00:19:47,462 --> 00:19:51,465
But I thought chicks were
into straight cash dollars.
390
00:19:51,466 --> 00:19:54,778
What are we gonna do?
This level of disorganization
makes me uncomfortable.
391
00:19:54,779 --> 00:19:56,435
Can you hear them?
Are they still out there?
392
00:19:56,436 --> 00:19:59,058
I'm not nosing
in their business.
393
00:19:59,059 --> 00:20:01,060
Kenny,
listen at the door.
394
00:20:01,061 --> 00:20:03,718
I don't want to press
my face against Brendo's door.
What if it sticks?
395
00:20:03,719 --> 00:20:06,445
I don't fling things!
I'm not a monkey.
396
00:20:06,446 --> 00:20:08,827
Listen, we are going
to have to go through
stuff like this,
397
00:20:08,828 --> 00:20:10,898
but we have to
be able to talk about it.
398
00:20:10,899 --> 00:20:17,284
I know.
Wow, we're really, like,
in a relationship.
399
00:20:17,285 --> 00:20:20,080
I know.
It's a brave new world.
400
00:20:22,635 --> 00:20:26,810
Hey, uh, you want to
know what Greg Maddux's
career ERA is?
401
00:20:26,811 --> 00:20:28,916
Oh, don't do that.
402
00:20:28,917 --> 00:20:30,883
Oh, it's 3.16.
403
00:20:30,884 --> 00:20:32,541
Oh, yeah, it is.
404
00:20:36,994 --> 00:20:38,822
We at least
need our beers.
405
00:20:38,823 --> 00:20:41,688
I can't take this anymore.
Let's just pick which one of
us we're going to eat.
406
00:20:44,415 --> 00:20:45,691
I'm not
going out there.
407
00:20:45,692 --> 00:20:47,245
Peej,
I need my phone.
408
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:50,075
I gotta pee
and all my jars are full.
409
00:20:50,076 --> 00:20:53,216
Even though
it's embarrassing,
and sometimes painful,
410
00:20:53,217 --> 00:20:55,356
it's always best to
face the truth.
411
00:20:55,357 --> 00:20:56,702
With eyes wide open.
412
00:20:56,703 --> 00:20:59,499
Please!
Just slide a piece
of pizza under the door.
33477
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