Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,589 --> 00:00:06,695
There are times when
it's so convenient your
friends became a couple.
2
00:00:06,696 --> 00:00:10,250
Oh! Peej, before I forget.
My publisher got us into Fig.
3
00:00:10,251 --> 00:00:11,424
No way!
4
00:00:11,425 --> 00:00:12,770
Oh, my God,
that's amazing!
When?
5
00:00:12,771 --> 00:00:14,496
What's amazing?
Saturday.
6
00:00:14,497 --> 00:00:16,498
What's Fig?
But isn't there, like, a
three month waiting list?
7
00:00:16,499 --> 00:00:18,431
For what?
I know.
She's magic.
8
00:00:18,432 --> 00:00:20,329
Who? Wait, what are they
talking about?
9
00:00:20,330 --> 00:00:21,744
It's like they're
sleepwalking, dude.
10
00:00:21,745 --> 00:00:23,056
If you try to wake
them, they get violent.
11
00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:25,058
Okay, I am so excited!
12
00:00:25,059 --> 00:00:26,164
Fig!
Fig!
13
00:00:28,787 --> 00:00:31,513
Good morning, honey.
You wandered out
to the shed again.
14
00:00:31,514 --> 00:00:32,756
Steph got us into Fig.
15
00:00:34,379 --> 00:00:36,207
Vince's restaurant.
16
00:00:36,208 --> 00:00:39,107
From Top Chef.
Oh, my God, Vince!
17
00:00:39,108 --> 00:00:41,040
Top Chef! Vince! Fig!
18
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,558
Now they're just
shouting out
random words.
19
00:00:42,559 --> 00:00:45,527
Hamburger monkey pants!
What are you guys
talking about?
20
00:00:45,528 --> 00:00:47,770
You guys don't
watch Top Chef?
21
00:00:47,771 --> 00:00:50,428
If we did, I think you would
have heard "Vince!" or
"Fig!" at some point.
22
00:00:50,429 --> 00:00:52,879
Okay, well, Vince is the guy
that almost won Top Chef.
23
00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:54,743
And he just opened up
this fancy new restaurant.
24
00:00:54,744 --> 00:00:56,607
Oh, and it's getting
great reviews.
25
00:00:56,608 --> 00:00:59,748
Oh, and they have that
caprese salad where the tomato
looks like the cheese
26
00:00:59,749 --> 00:01:01,922
and the cheese looks
like the tomato.
27
00:01:01,923 --> 00:01:04,477
You know, we should
just do the tasting menu
and let him surprise us.
28
00:01:04,478 --> 00:01:07,928
You know, you should just do
the tasting menu
and let him surprise you.
29
00:01:07,929 --> 00:01:11,725
You know, I wasn't aware
that it's okay to make plans
in front of your friends
30
00:01:11,726 --> 00:01:13,693
that you're not including.
31
00:01:13,694 --> 00:01:15,591
Aw, Mike...
No, no...
32
00:01:15,592 --> 00:01:18,801
There are times when the
differences between couple
friends and single friends
33
00:01:18,802 --> 00:01:20,355
cannot be avoided.
34
00:01:20,356 --> 00:01:22,357
Mike. Come here,
come on.
Mikey.
35
00:01:22,358 --> 00:01:26,223
Seriously, Mike, if you want
to go, I'm sure we can make
the reservation for six.
36
00:01:26,224 --> 00:01:29,398
No, no. You guys go and have
your fancy couples night. We
don't want to embarrass you.
37
00:01:29,399 --> 00:01:31,538
Oh, come on.
It's not like that.
38
00:01:31,539 --> 00:01:33,402
Yeah, dude, you don't
even watch Top Chef.
39
00:01:33,403 --> 00:01:35,611
No, only grown-ups
watch Top Chef.
40
00:01:35,612 --> 00:01:37,613
I'm too busy watching
SpongeBob SquarePants
41
00:01:37,614 --> 00:01:40,340
with my finger up my nose.
Right, Brendan?
42
00:01:40,341 --> 00:01:42,239
I have no interest
in going to Fig.
43
00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:44,655
Don't listen to him.
He's just too hurt
to show it.
44
00:01:44,656 --> 00:01:47,416
Actually, it's my first
Saturday night off from
the club in six months
45
00:01:47,417 --> 00:01:49,315
and I would rather spend it
blowing off some steam,
46
00:01:49,316 --> 00:01:50,764
not worrying about
which fork to use.
47
00:01:50,765 --> 00:01:52,559
Whatever, dude.
48
00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,872
All right, Mike, do you
want to come?
We will be happy to have you.
49
00:01:54,873 --> 00:01:57,875
Oh, and be the fifth wheel?
No, thank you.
50
00:01:57,876 --> 00:02:01,050
I'd rather blow off some steam
with this guy. Right, Brendo?
51
00:02:01,051 --> 00:02:04,606
Whatever, dude. I'm really
not invested in any of this.
52
00:02:04,607 --> 00:02:06,849
That's right!
Brothers united! Okay.
53
00:02:06,850 --> 00:02:08,541
We are going to do
something awesome!
54
00:02:08,542 --> 00:02:10,991
Right on.
Couple of single dudes,
anything is possible.
55
00:02:10,992 --> 00:02:13,754
Oh, boy.
So, you gonna drink here
or at Crowley's?
56
00:02:15,204 --> 00:02:16,412
Both!
Yeah!
57
00:02:47,305 --> 00:02:49,892
Look, so fancy!
58
00:02:49,893 --> 00:02:51,446
They have an inside tree!
59
00:02:51,447 --> 00:02:52,895
Ah, I wonder what kind
of tree it is.
60
00:02:52,896 --> 00:02:55,244
Oh, I don't know... Fig?
61
00:02:58,247 --> 00:03:01,214
Hi, reservation for
Layne at 8:00.
62
00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:03,699
Your table is not quite ready.
It will be 15 or 20 minutes.
63
00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:05,771
May I
suggest a drink
at our bar?
64
00:03:07,221 --> 00:03:09,327
Okay.
65
00:03:13,331 --> 00:03:15,298
There's no place to sit.
66
00:03:17,266 --> 00:03:18,681
Wow. Fifteen or
20 minutes?
67
00:03:20,959 --> 00:03:23,755
I'll handle it. Don't even
bother getting drinks.
68
00:03:26,896 --> 00:03:30,209
I love Kenny's
Goodfellas mode.
69
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:33,142
I know. It's like being
with Don Corleone
70
00:03:33,143 --> 00:03:34,593
but without all the killing.
71
00:03:36,181 --> 00:03:37,354
How'd it go?
72
00:03:37,355 --> 00:03:39,253
Good. Be about 15
or 20 minutes.
73
00:03:40,081 --> 00:03:41,254
He didn't take
the money?
74
00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:42,808
Oh, he took the money.
75
00:03:45,604 --> 00:03:46,846
Hey.
76
00:03:46,847 --> 00:03:49,055
All right!
While the adults are away,
77
00:03:49,056 --> 00:03:52,231
Brendan and Mike will play.
Check it out. I got the
new system.
78
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,094
I got Golden Gloves 9
Super Knockout.
79
00:03:54,095 --> 00:03:56,200
And if we want to
take the time,
80
00:03:56,201 --> 00:03:58,616
there's a way to make
the guys look just like us.
81
00:03:58,617 --> 00:04:00,515
I can't believe...
So you're not insulted?
82
00:04:00,516 --> 00:04:01,826
By what?
83
00:04:01,827 --> 00:04:03,828
They were embarrassed
to have us at their dinner.
84
00:04:03,829 --> 00:04:05,209
No, dude, I didn't
take it like that.
85
00:04:05,210 --> 00:04:07,315
Besides, let them go have
their fancy-schmantzy meal.
86
00:04:07,316 --> 00:04:08,730
Our night's going
to be more fun.
87
00:04:08,731 --> 00:04:10,766
I guarantee it.
Really?
88
00:04:10,767 --> 00:04:15,254
Oh, yes. Trust me.
They think we're children,
89
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:18,636
but we are about to do
something very adult.
90
00:04:18,637 --> 00:04:19,844
You made brownies?
91
00:04:19,845 --> 00:04:22,640
Oh, I made big boy brownies.
92
00:04:22,641 --> 00:04:24,194
It's an old college recipe.
93
00:04:25,472 --> 00:04:27,818
Oh, you made brownies.
94
00:04:27,819 --> 00:04:29,751
Yes...
Click. Boop!
95
00:04:29,752 --> 00:04:30,787
There it is.
Brownies!
96
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:40,002
Is it me or have
we been sitting for,
like, a half hour?
97
00:04:40,003 --> 00:04:41,452
I just want a menu.
98
00:04:41,453 --> 00:04:43,730
Oh, I think I see our drinks.
Thank God!
99
00:04:43,731 --> 00:04:46,320
No. They're not coming.
They're over there on the bar.
100
00:04:48,460 --> 00:04:53,464
Oh, look at them.
The little cuties.
Just waiting for a home.
101
00:04:53,465 --> 00:04:56,950
Poor things. They're sweating.
102
00:04:56,951 --> 00:04:59,919
You know what? I'm just
gonna grab them.
I mean, they're right there.
103
00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:02,059
I wouldn't do that.
Why?
104
00:05:02,060 --> 00:05:07,098
It's against restaurant
protocol. Trust me. We don't
want to be that table.
105
00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:09,342
What's that table?
When I worked
at a restaurant...
106
00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:11,068
You worked at a restaurant?
107
00:05:11,069 --> 00:05:13,346
Yeah, and when it
gets really busy,
108
00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:16,660
the waiters have a choice.
To give all-around C+ service,
109
00:05:16,661 --> 00:05:21,250
or A+ service
to everyone except
one table.
110
00:05:21,251 --> 00:05:22,942
We called it
"that table."
111
00:05:22,943 --> 00:05:25,082
I'm sorry. When did you
work in a restaurant?
112
00:05:25,083 --> 00:05:26,911
In college. Everyone
should be forced
113
00:05:26,912 --> 00:05:29,258
to marry ketchup bottles
at least once in their lives.
114
00:05:29,259 --> 00:05:30,570
There'd be less war.
115
00:05:30,571 --> 00:05:32,572
Well, how do you
pick that table?
116
00:05:32,573 --> 00:05:35,195
Whoever got the angriest
the quickest usually
got abandoned.
117
00:05:35,196 --> 00:05:38,509
So I suggest we
chill for five minutes.
118
00:05:38,510 --> 00:05:40,477
Let somebody else become
the angry table.
119
00:05:40,478 --> 00:05:44,447
But, I'm not angry. I mean,
if we see our drinks, we
should be able to go get them.
120
00:05:48,278 --> 00:05:51,453
Yeah...
121
00:05:51,454 --> 00:05:54,526
Excuse me.
This area needs to be clear.
Please return to your table.
122
00:05:56,666 --> 00:05:57,633
As soon as you can.
123
00:05:58,841 --> 00:06:00,981
And now we're that table.
124
00:06:06,573 --> 00:06:11,508
Oh, dude, I got the cheat
codes for the game, so we can
play as dinosaurs if we want!
125
00:06:11,509 --> 00:06:16,202
Wait! Don't. Put the brownie
down. Put it down.
126
00:06:16,203 --> 00:06:18,480
Aren't we doing exactly
what they expect us to do?
127
00:06:18,481 --> 00:06:20,931
I mean, they're going
to come home
all full of amuse-bouches
128
00:06:20,932 --> 00:06:23,485
and holier-than-thous and
they're going to find us
covered in cheese curls.
129
00:06:23,486 --> 00:06:24,728
Oh, I forgot cheese curls!
130
00:06:24,729 --> 00:06:26,143
Let's prove them wrong.
131
00:06:26,144 --> 00:06:27,869
Let's step it up! Just because
we're single, doesn't mean
132
00:06:27,870 --> 00:06:30,250
we can't enjoy
a sophisticated night
out on the town.
133
00:06:30,251 --> 00:06:33,357
Well, all right, man, but
I only got the game
system for one night.
134
00:06:33,358 --> 00:06:35,117
Let's play a bigger game.
135
00:06:35,118 --> 00:06:37,603
Let's try something new.
Let's be men.
136
00:06:37,604 --> 00:06:39,156
Let's wear suits.
137
00:06:39,157 --> 00:06:40,951
All right, these are, like,
$40 brownies, dude.
138
00:06:40,952 --> 00:06:43,332
They'll keep.
You know what men
in suits do?
139
00:06:43,333 --> 00:06:44,851
They meet women in skirts!
140
00:06:44,852 --> 00:06:46,853
Oh, skirts.
Yeah!
141
00:06:46,854 --> 00:06:48,855
I like skirts.
Who doesn't?
142
00:06:48,856 --> 00:06:50,167
Women in skirts
like brownies...
143
00:06:50,168 --> 00:06:52,825
No, not flowery
peasant skirts.
I mean real skirts!
144
00:06:52,826 --> 00:06:56,345
Tight skirts with a
little slit on the side
145
00:06:56,346 --> 00:06:57,692
to distract jurors.
146
00:06:57,693 --> 00:06:58,763
Yeah.
147
00:06:59,833 --> 00:07:00,833
So no brownies?
148
00:07:00,834 --> 00:07:02,525
No brownies!
149
00:07:03,215 --> 00:07:04,216
Suits.
150
00:07:06,011 --> 00:07:09,013
Bobby's right.
We're that table.
151
00:07:09,014 --> 00:07:12,500
This is not okay.
I'm gonna tell that stuffed
shirt we're dissatisfied.
152
00:07:12,501 --> 00:07:15,744
Kenny, don't embarrass us.
Okay? My publisher
made this reservation.
153
00:07:15,745 --> 00:07:18,575
I'm not going to make a scene.
Okay? I'm just going to tell
them we're leaving.
154
00:07:18,576 --> 00:07:20,335
They're not going
to want that.
I don't know, Kenny.
155
00:07:20,336 --> 00:07:22,786
What have we got to lose?
The service can't
get any worse.
156
00:07:22,787 --> 00:07:24,753
Excuse me?
157
00:07:24,754 --> 00:07:26,997
Yes?
I just want you to know
we're not very happy with our
158
00:07:26,998 --> 00:07:29,379
service, and my friends and I,
we're going to be leaving.
159
00:07:30,346 --> 00:07:32,072
Oh... Very well.
160
00:07:35,420 --> 00:07:38,734
Can you clear this table
quickly? There's a
party waiting at the bar.
161
00:07:42,531 --> 00:07:45,395
Wow. Really?
Now they're quick?
162
00:07:54,197 --> 00:07:55,819
So this is where men go.
163
00:07:55,820 --> 00:07:57,476
Tonight we're
stepping it up.
164
00:07:57,477 --> 00:08:00,617
We sure are.
And might I say,
that is a great tie.
165
00:08:00,618 --> 00:08:06,623
Thank you. And thanks
for loaning it to me.
And for tying it.
166
00:08:06,624 --> 00:08:11,144
Gotta tell ya, man, at first
I was kind of skeptical.
But now I get it. I'm in.
167
00:08:11,145 --> 00:08:12,663
I've been to this place
three times in my life,
168
00:08:12,664 --> 00:08:14,700
and I've been asked
to leave three times.
169
00:08:14,701 --> 00:08:16,080
That changes tonight.
170
00:08:16,081 --> 00:08:17,806
All three times, huh?
171
00:08:17,807 --> 00:08:20,222
Yes. Very politely twice.
172
00:08:20,223 --> 00:08:21,914
What happened
the third time?
173
00:08:21,915 --> 00:08:24,296
Don't worry about that.
I look totally different.
I'm in a suit.
174
00:08:25,297 --> 00:08:26,264
What can I get you gentlemen?
175
00:08:28,162 --> 00:08:30,717
Two Dalmore scotches.
A couple rocks, please.
Right away.
176
00:08:33,789 --> 00:08:34,823
"Gentlemen"!
"Gentlemen"!
177
00:08:38,276 --> 00:08:40,070
I can't believe
I wore heels for that.
178
00:08:40,071 --> 00:08:42,935
"Well, just follow my
lead. Hey, badda-bing."
179
00:08:42,936 --> 00:08:47,146
Uh, let's remember,
I'm not the enemy.
Fig is.
180
00:08:47,147 --> 00:08:49,010
I'm just so bummed.
181
00:08:49,011 --> 00:08:50,218
Because we were
going to have
a special evening,
182
00:08:50,219 --> 00:08:52,290
and now here we are
back at P.J.'s again.
183
00:08:54,499 --> 00:08:57,536
Well, maybe we can play
bridge or something.
That's different.
184
00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:00,711
Hey! That's the spirit!
Do you know how
to play bridge?
185
00:09:00,712 --> 00:09:02,989
God, no. I'm not 80.
186
00:09:02,990 --> 00:09:05,923
All right, well, come on,
you guys. Let's rally! Okay?
I'll order a pizza.
187
00:09:05,924 --> 00:09:08,029
We can play charades
or something.
188
00:09:08,030 --> 00:09:11,411
Hi, yeah. Can I get a
pizza, please?
Yeah, I'll hold...
189
00:09:11,412 --> 00:09:12,861
You guys find
some treats?
190
00:09:12,862 --> 00:09:15,139
Sorry, I am starving.
All I ate was vodka and
a pretzel roll.
191
00:09:15,140 --> 00:09:16,555
Mm-hmm. We helped ourselves.
192
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,833
Hey, Peej,
these brownies you
made are delicious.
193
00:09:18,834 --> 00:09:19,972
I didn't make any brownies.
194
00:09:19,973 --> 00:09:21,283
Maybe Brendo baked them.
195
00:09:21,284 --> 00:09:23,459
Brendo
doesn't bake...
196
00:09:24,494 --> 00:09:25,495
Uh-oh.
197
00:09:27,670 --> 00:09:29,568
What?
Well, there's only
one kind of brownie
198
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:30,914
that Brendo bakes.
199
00:09:30,915 --> 00:09:33,261
Are you saying...
Did we just...
200
00:09:33,262 --> 00:09:34,952
Wait a minute, what?
201
00:09:34,953 --> 00:09:38,404
Well, now. It looks like
tonight might be
special after all.
202
00:09:38,405 --> 00:09:39,612
That was my second one.
203
00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:41,131
Ooh!
204
00:09:41,132 --> 00:09:42,753
What's he mean "Ooh"?
What do you mean, "Ooh"?
205
00:09:42,754 --> 00:09:44,444
Oh, no, Bobby.
What do we do?
206
00:09:44,445 --> 00:09:47,620
Well, Peej. I think our
friends are about to board
a little ride.
207
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:51,245
So, we could wish them well
and send them
on their way. Or...
208
00:09:53,662 --> 00:09:55,421
We could join them.
209
00:09:55,422 --> 00:09:59,252
Oh, honey. Please join us.
210
00:09:59,253 --> 00:10:04,603
Oh, hi. Yeah, I'd actually
like to have three pizzas,
please. And some hot wings.
211
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:08,227
And that deep fried cookie
pizza thing, yeah. Yeah,
that's the one. Two of them.
212
00:10:08,228 --> 00:10:09,435
Thanks, bye!
213
00:10:09,436 --> 00:10:10,679
Cheers!
Cheers!
214
00:10:13,751 --> 00:10:16,925
I just don't think
corporations should have the
same legal rights of a person.
215
00:10:16,926 --> 00:10:19,238
You know? I mean,
there's no constitutional
grounds for that.
216
00:10:19,239 --> 00:10:20,826
That is fascinating stuff.
217
00:10:20,827 --> 00:10:23,656
You know, we should
talk about non-sports stuff
more often.
218
00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:26,176
Tell me about it. You know,
actually, I want to go back to
what you were
219
00:10:26,177 --> 00:10:30,180
saying about the black holes.
I had no idea you knew
so much about physics.
220
00:10:30,181 --> 00:10:32,147
It's been a secret obsession
of mine since I was a kid.
221
00:10:32,148 --> 00:10:35,254
Can probably be
traced all the way back
to the Bionic Woman.
222
00:10:35,255 --> 00:10:36,773
Ah, excuse me for the
interruption,
223
00:10:36,774 --> 00:10:39,155
but I just noticed that
we're being noticed.
224
00:10:41,019 --> 00:10:44,263
Oh, my.
Oh, yes, those are not your
typical Crowley's women.
225
00:10:44,264 --> 00:10:47,749
No kidding. Those
women ooze class.
226
00:10:47,750 --> 00:10:49,026
What's our plan?
227
00:10:49,027 --> 00:10:50,131
All right, stop using
words like "ooze."
228
00:10:50,132 --> 00:10:51,167
Okay, yeah.
I can do that.
229
00:10:52,306 --> 00:10:55,308
We gotta act like
adults on this one.
230
00:10:55,309 --> 00:10:57,138
I think they're
smiling this way!
231
00:10:57,139 --> 00:10:59,865
All right, settle down,
Ginger. Here's what we do.
232
00:10:59,866 --> 00:11:00,935
Show them the ties.
233
00:11:00,936 --> 00:11:02,489
Yup.
234
00:11:10,048 --> 00:11:12,879
Holy smokes,
I think it's working!
Yeah. You go, ties!
235
00:11:15,813 --> 00:11:18,918
Good evening.
It is, isn't it?
Where are you in from?
236
00:11:18,919 --> 00:11:21,818
Actually, we live here.
We just love this bar.
237
00:11:21,819 --> 00:11:25,754
Ah, a man with taste.
I'm Lena.
Brendan.
238
00:11:28,273 --> 00:11:29,964
Emily.
Michael.
239
00:11:29,965 --> 00:11:31,829
Nice to meet you, Michael.
Nice to meet you.
240
00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:47,326
Oh! Nice one, Peej.
241
00:11:47,327 --> 00:11:49,985
Keep your guard up, Steph!
Work the body!
242
00:11:51,607 --> 00:11:52,573
Hey!
243
00:11:53,989 --> 00:11:56,024
Here you go, champ.
Eye of the tiger!
244
00:11:56,025 --> 00:11:59,407
You're giving it away out
there! All these people
came to see you.
245
00:11:59,408 --> 00:12:00,960
Hundreds of people came.
246
00:12:00,961 --> 00:12:02,237
Okay...
Don't disappoint.
247
00:12:02,238 --> 00:12:03,274
Let's do this, blondie.
248
00:12:03,999 --> 00:12:05,345
All right, come on!
249
00:12:07,623 --> 00:12:11,075
Okay. Top five inventions
of mankind.
250
00:12:12,041 --> 00:12:14,008
Um, the wheel,
251
00:12:14,009 --> 00:12:17,183
submarines, penicillin...
252
00:12:17,184 --> 00:12:20,462
Slippers, creme brulee
253
00:12:20,463 --> 00:12:22,948
spoons...
254
00:12:22,949 --> 00:12:25,536
Wait, but now we have six
top five inventions.
255
00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:28,954
Then let's do 10
and add four more.
256
00:12:28,955 --> 00:12:32,406
Yes! I wanted to add dry
erase markers anyway.
257
00:12:33,580 --> 00:12:35,719
Ready, and...
258
00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:38,032
T-O-U-C-H!
259
00:12:38,033 --> 00:12:40,482
D-O-W-N!
260
00:12:40,483 --> 00:12:42,519
Kenny...
What?
261
00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:44,417
Kenny!
What?
262
00:12:44,418 --> 00:12:46,592
♪ Your head moves from side
to side
263
00:12:46,593 --> 00:12:48,663
♪ And you ain't got no alibi
264
00:12:48,664 --> 00:12:51,148
♪ You ugly
♪ You ugly
265
00:12:55,257 --> 00:12:57,672
Wait, who are you even
cheering for?
I'm cheering for you.
266
00:12:57,673 --> 00:12:59,501
But you keep saying Kenny.
267
00:12:59,502 --> 00:13:00,951
'Cause he's ugly.
268
00:13:00,952 --> 00:13:02,678
And he ain't got no alibi.
269
00:13:04,093 --> 00:13:05,543
I'm not ugly.
270
00:13:12,412 --> 00:13:16,622
Rain coming down, right?
Thunder, lightning outside.
Craziness. Total craziness.
271
00:13:16,623 --> 00:13:18,244
And then Mike...
...al.
272
00:13:18,245 --> 00:13:21,109
Michael says to the pilot...
273
00:13:21,110 --> 00:13:22,973
I give you a 10
on the take off,
274
00:13:22,974 --> 00:13:26,597
but your score's going
to be heavily weighted
on the landing!
275
00:13:27,945 --> 00:13:29,428
On the landing!
That's good!
276
00:13:29,429 --> 00:13:31,188
That's good!
277
00:13:31,189 --> 00:13:34,743
You see that? $5 beer gets
you a girl. $15 drink
gets you a woman.
278
00:13:34,744 --> 00:13:38,955
I can't tell you how
refreshing it is to finally
meet some grown-up men.
279
00:13:38,956 --> 00:13:41,750
Tell me about it.
I love Chicago.
280
00:13:41,751 --> 00:13:44,512
It is not like Dallas.
Full of boys.
281
00:13:44,513 --> 00:13:47,135
Hey, guys. Excuse me.
We have to close up.
282
00:13:47,136 --> 00:13:50,138
Oh. Sorry, Cliff.
I didn't realize we were
the last ones here.
283
00:13:50,139 --> 00:13:51,415
Thanks for everything, boss.
284
00:13:51,416 --> 00:13:52,728
Thanks.
285
00:13:54,523 --> 00:13:57,352
Well, the downside
of a hotel bar.
286
00:13:57,353 --> 00:14:00,355
But I would sure
like to keep this
conversation going.
287
00:14:00,356 --> 00:14:05,050
Yeah. This is our last night
in town and we still haven't
seen a real Chicago bar.
288
00:14:05,051 --> 00:14:07,121
That's right.
Oh, hey, Brendan,
289
00:14:07,122 --> 00:14:10,227
what's the name of the place
in your neighborhood?
It's like a pub or a tavern?
290
00:14:10,228 --> 00:14:11,884
Oh, it's uh...
291
00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:15,612
Cullen's? Cochran's?
Carmichael's?
Craven's? Crowley's?
292
00:14:15,613 --> 00:14:16,994
Bingo.
Great idea!
293
00:14:23,655 --> 00:14:27,313
Senorita Vaca,
let us leave this dusty bar.
294
00:14:27,314 --> 00:14:29,005
Paris awaits us!
295
00:14:29,006 --> 00:14:33,630
Oh, Sergeant Shark,
you do make speeches.
296
00:14:34,977 --> 00:14:37,392
They're kissing.
297
00:14:37,393 --> 00:14:40,464
Hey, you guys. I just
spent an hour online
searching for boots.
298
00:14:40,465 --> 00:14:42,673
I think we're
descending into madness.
299
00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:45,090
No disrespect to
your puppet show, Bobby.
300
00:14:45,091 --> 00:14:49,992
Oh, puppets have no
use for boots.
301
00:14:52,719 --> 00:14:53,822
Ow!
302
00:14:53,823 --> 00:14:55,755
Maybe we should get
some fresh air.
303
00:14:55,756 --> 00:15:00,622
I don't know if I can move.
My feet feel like they're full
of really heavy water.
304
00:15:00,623 --> 00:15:03,453
How can one water be heavier
than any other water?
305
00:15:03,454 --> 00:15:07,146
No, no! We're not going
to talk about water. Come on,
you guys, let's go.
306
00:15:07,147 --> 00:15:09,598
Let's go outside before
this night really
gets away from us.
307
00:15:10,012 --> 00:15:10,979
Okay.
308
00:15:11,703 --> 00:15:12,773
Crowley's?
309
00:15:16,743 --> 00:15:19,849
No shirt, no shoes,
no service.
310
00:15:22,783 --> 00:15:26,684
Okay, I'll leave the puppets
here. Bye, guys.
311
00:15:36,004 --> 00:15:39,144
I was starting to think
that every man in the country
played video games
312
00:15:39,145 --> 00:15:40,559
with strangers
on the Internet.
313
00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:44,804
Aw, now that is just sad.
Especially the strangers part.
314
00:15:44,805 --> 00:15:50,431
And when did guys decide that
it was okay to go out at
night wearing a hoodie?
315
00:15:50,432 --> 00:15:52,812
Boys. You know, sometimes
I feel sorry for them.
316
00:15:54,091 --> 00:15:55,195
Oh, hey. We know
these people.
317
00:15:58,371 --> 00:16:00,372
Oh, hey, guys!
These are our friends.
318
00:16:00,373 --> 00:16:04,410
Yeah. Emily and Lena,
this is P.J., Kenny,
Steph, and Bobby.
319
00:16:04,411 --> 00:16:05,447
Hi!
Hi!
320
00:16:06,103 --> 00:16:07,069
Suits.
321
00:16:09,244 --> 00:16:10,278
I'm sorry?
322
00:16:10,279 --> 00:16:11,349
You're in suits.
323
00:16:12,764 --> 00:16:14,834
You okay, Kenny?
324
00:16:14,835 --> 00:16:19,356
We've had wine.
We've had, like,
a lot of wine.
325
00:16:19,357 --> 00:16:22,118
I think he means to
say you look really,
really good, Mike.
326
00:16:22,119 --> 00:16:23,188
Michael.
327
00:16:23,189 --> 00:16:24,948
What?
328
00:16:24,949 --> 00:16:28,124
Michael was telling us that
you all were at Fig tonight.
How was it?
329
00:16:28,125 --> 00:16:29,297
Huh?
330
00:16:29,298 --> 00:16:33,130
Wait, who's Michael?
You're Michael? What?
331
00:16:36,616 --> 00:16:38,997
You know, I think that
the service was actually
a little bit spotty.
332
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,275
She called him Michael!
That just weird.
333
00:16:41,276 --> 00:16:44,174
'Cause you don't even really
look like a Michael.
334
00:16:44,175 --> 00:16:48,868
It's like if you called Kenny
Howard or something, right?
335
00:16:48,869 --> 00:16:51,630
Is anybody drinking this?
336
00:16:51,631 --> 00:16:55,047
Well... This is
embarrassing.
337
00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:57,601
I just want this
feeling to end.
338
00:16:57,602 --> 00:16:59,810
You know, I think I might
use the ladies' room.
339
00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:01,985
And I will join you, Lena.
340
00:17:01,986 --> 00:17:03,022
We will be right here.
341
00:17:07,371 --> 00:17:09,372
What is wrong with you guys?
You're acting like idiots.
342
00:17:09,373 --> 00:17:11,960
Oh, look.
It's angry Michael.
343
00:17:14,309 --> 00:17:17,104
Seriously, guys. These women
think we're grown-ups, okay?
With grown-up friends.
344
00:17:17,105 --> 00:17:20,866
Okay, we're sorry. We're
sorry, Brendan. It's kind
of your fault, though.
345
00:17:20,867 --> 00:17:23,006
How is this my fault?
346
00:17:23,007 --> 00:17:25,388
We didn't get to eat dinner,
so we ate the brownies
that you made.
347
00:17:25,389 --> 00:17:26,492
You ate those?
348
00:17:26,493 --> 00:17:27,769
I ate two.
349
00:17:27,770 --> 00:17:29,461
And a stick of butter.
350
00:17:31,257 --> 00:17:34,087
How were they?
Dude, look at us.
351
00:17:36,227 --> 00:17:38,677
Well, well, well. So, the
couples got themselves
352
00:17:38,678 --> 00:17:40,852
into a little bit
of a state, tonight, huh?
353
00:17:42,164 --> 00:17:43,268
Are you wearing my T-shirt?
354
00:17:43,269 --> 00:17:45,960
Yeah. Yeah, it's comfy.
355
00:17:45,961 --> 00:17:50,516
I ate an entire bag
of chips. I hurt my tongue.
356
00:17:50,517 --> 00:17:55,280
So you came here? You morons.
You're ruining everything
we've built with these ladies.
357
00:17:55,281 --> 00:17:57,489
They're classy.
We're being classy.
358
00:17:57,490 --> 00:18:00,319
Sorry, Michael.
359
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:03,150
Dude, what made you
go all Michael?
360
00:18:03,151 --> 00:18:05,013
It is my name, Robert.
361
00:18:05,014 --> 00:18:09,466
Yeah, it's like his alter-ego.
See, Michael is Mike with
super-hero class.
362
00:18:12,263 --> 00:18:13,781
Stop it, Brendan. 'Cause
you're not helping this.
363
00:18:13,782 --> 00:18:17,233
I'm sorry, man. It's fun.
You ate two, huh?
364
00:18:17,234 --> 00:18:19,614
Don't. I'm not...
I need a bath
or something.
365
00:18:19,615 --> 00:18:21,100
Dude, don't fight it.
366
00:18:22,998 --> 00:18:24,688
Take a trip down that road
for a bit.
367
00:18:24,689 --> 00:18:28,003
Yeah. Look at that.
There you go. Atta boy.
368
00:18:32,559 --> 00:18:33,801
All right, all right,
all right. Mike's right.
369
00:18:33,802 --> 00:18:35,458
I feel bad. We're screwing
you guys up.
370
00:18:35,459 --> 00:18:37,425
We should just go.
371
00:18:37,426 --> 00:18:38,564
No, no... Wait.
You can't leave now.
That would be weird.
372
00:18:38,565 --> 00:18:40,497
Okay, how do we
explain that?
373
00:18:40,498 --> 00:18:45,157
Okay, okay. You guys, here
they come. So, come on, group.
Just pull it together.
374
00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:46,331
For Brendan and Mike.
375
00:18:46,332 --> 00:18:47,539
Michael.
376
00:18:47,540 --> 00:18:48,610
Don't.
377
00:18:50,198 --> 00:18:52,164
Welcome back.
Thank you.
378
00:18:52,165 --> 00:18:55,409
I am so sorry about our
entrance. We drank on
empty stomachs, you know?
379
00:18:55,410 --> 00:18:57,790
No worries.
We're not judging.
380
00:18:57,791 --> 00:19:00,103
No, but I do
think we're leaving.
381
00:19:00,104 --> 00:19:03,969
We didn't realize that it had
gotten pretty late and we fly
back to Dallas in the morning.
382
00:19:03,970 --> 00:19:05,419
Yeah, so we're just going
to go back to the hotel.
383
00:19:05,420 --> 00:19:07,662
You are?
I think so.
384
00:19:07,663 --> 00:19:11,391
But, uh, Lena and I were
hoping that you gentlemen
would escort us back.
385
00:19:15,602 --> 00:19:19,226
We'd be happy to.
Well, bye.
386
00:19:19,227 --> 00:19:21,194
Good night, you guys.
Pleasure to meet you all.
387
00:19:26,441 --> 00:19:28,407
Wow, that kind of
worked out
well for them.
388
00:19:28,408 --> 00:19:31,030
All I can say is "whew."
389
00:19:31,031 --> 00:19:33,171
Yeah. Michael would
have never let us hear
the end of that.
390
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,242
So what should we do?
391
00:19:35,243 --> 00:19:38,797
I don't know about you guys,
but I could really
use a hot meal.
392
00:19:38,798 --> 00:19:40,385
You know, like,
some real food.
393
00:19:40,386 --> 00:19:44,492
Totally! Oh, I know just the
place, too. It's open late.
394
00:19:44,493 --> 00:19:47,495
Really good food,
super mellow vibe.
395
00:19:47,496 --> 00:19:51,361
Mellow is good.
I could use mellow.
396
00:19:51,362 --> 00:19:52,638
I hope they have crayons!
397
00:19:52,639 --> 00:19:55,365
Yeah!
Oh! I hit the
liquid center.
398
00:19:57,403 --> 00:19:59,439
Why are we standing here?
Let's go.
399
00:20:03,650 --> 00:20:07,066
There are upsides
to growing up and being
in a relationship.
400
00:20:07,067 --> 00:20:11,381
And there are upsides
to being single and
carefree.
401
00:20:11,382 --> 00:20:15,316
When you're single, you never
quite know where the
night is going to take you.
402
00:20:15,317 --> 00:20:19,562
And that can be really fun.
403
00:20:19,563 --> 00:20:24,256
Being in a mature relationship
means that no matter what
happens, that other person
404
00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:28,812
is going to be there for you,
which is nice.
405
00:20:28,813 --> 00:20:33,092
Tonight, I guess we
all got a little bit
of both worlds.
406
00:20:33,093 --> 00:20:36,648
You know what? This is good.
I'm actually starting to feel
a little normal.
407
00:20:36,649 --> 00:20:41,584
Me, too.
It was a fun ride, though.
408
00:20:41,585 --> 00:20:42,620
Oh, yeah.
409
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:47,590
I think Kenny's going
to need a little
more time, guys.
410
00:20:47,591 --> 00:20:48,626
Yeah.
411
00:20:50,145 --> 00:20:53,285
Look, Kenny, I drew a picture
of how you look tonight.
33014
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof