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1
00:00:24,955 --> 00:00:26,991
I have come to realize
that almost everything
2
00:00:26,992 --> 00:00:31,478
in dating and relationships
has a parallel to sports.
3
00:00:31,479 --> 00:00:33,170
Especially baseball.
4
00:00:33,171 --> 00:00:34,861
Well, that's probably
because that's what I do.
5
00:00:34,862 --> 00:00:37,277
I'm a sportswriter for
the Chicago Sun-Times.
6
00:00:37,278 --> 00:00:38,865
I cover the Cubs.
7
00:00:38,866 --> 00:00:41,488
It's like, for example,
your friends are your team...
8
00:00:41,489 --> 00:00:43,491
Okay,
well, that one was easy.
9
00:00:44,837 --> 00:00:46,321
Oh, it's on.
10
00:00:46,322 --> 00:00:48,599
Kenny and Mike are
like great infielders.
11
00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:50,946
They make our team
strong up the middle.
12
00:00:50,947 --> 00:00:53,673
Oh, pizza. I'm starving.
13
00:00:53,674 --> 00:00:54,915
Don't get too excited.
14
00:00:54,916 --> 00:00:56,055
Kenny went to
the Pizza Castle.
15
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,333
The Pizza Castle?
Why'd you go there?
16
00:00:58,334 --> 00:01:00,024
Thought I'd shake
things up a little bit.
17
00:01:00,025 --> 00:01:01,612
Mike always
orders from Nunzio's.
18
00:01:01,613 --> 00:01:03,200
Yeah, because it's good,
because we like it,
19
00:01:03,201 --> 00:01:04,718
and because it
never lets us down.
20
00:01:04,719 --> 00:01:06,825
You just described Lassie.
21
00:01:07,722 --> 00:01:08,895
What are the brown things?
22
00:01:08,896 --> 00:01:10,103
Mushrooms.
23
00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:11,311
Why with the mushrooms? What?
24
00:01:11,312 --> 00:01:12,450
I'm trying to
eat healthier.
25
00:01:12,451 --> 00:01:13,762
Dude, if you don't
like it, don't eat it.
26
00:01:13,763 --> 00:01:15,074
Oh, I'm gonna eat it.
27
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,006
Just without
the fungus
on top of it.
28
00:01:17,007 --> 00:01:18,111
What are you doing?
29
00:01:18,112 --> 00:01:19,285
Were you born
in a barn?
30
00:01:19,286 --> 00:01:21,667
I don't remember
where I was born.
31
00:01:22,254 --> 00:01:23,773
Oh!
32
00:01:24,498 --> 00:01:25,981
No.
Yes.
33
00:01:25,982 --> 00:01:27,569
Is it on?
It's on.
34
00:01:27,570 --> 00:01:31,090
It's off.
It's not on. Cease fire.
35
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:33,092
Deal the cards.
36
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,715
I told Meredith
there was an accident
on Lakeshore Drive.
37
00:01:35,716 --> 00:01:38,683
I figure that
should buy me 90 minutes.
38
00:01:38,684 --> 00:01:40,789
Like my brother,
Andy, and me.
39
00:01:40,790 --> 00:01:43,412
We've been on the same team
since I was born.
40
00:01:43,413 --> 00:01:46,726
Unfortunately, his wife,
Meredith, is a huge drag
41
00:01:46,727 --> 00:01:48,797
and keeps him
on a short leash.
42
00:01:48,798 --> 00:01:51,040
So he's more like
a relief pitcher.
43
00:01:51,041 --> 00:01:52,801
He can only play
a couple of innings.
44
00:01:52,802 --> 00:01:54,630
Andy, come on,
one of these days,
45
00:01:54,631 --> 00:01:56,425
you've got to
stand up to Meredith.
46
00:01:56,426 --> 00:01:57,806
Yeah. That's gonna happen.
47
00:01:57,807 --> 00:01:59,601
Look, she's the boss of me.
48
00:01:59,602 --> 00:02:01,292
Divorce is messy,
and she knows
49
00:02:01,293 --> 00:02:02,880
I don't want that,
so she owns me.
50
00:02:02,881 --> 00:02:04,813
Do you miss your balls?
51
00:02:04,814 --> 00:02:06,711
I'd appreciate it
if you didn't
talk about my balls
52
00:02:06,712 --> 00:02:09,128
unless you are
addressing them directly.
53
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,026
Ew. Ew!
54
00:02:11,027 --> 00:02:12,579
Thank you, Andy.
You're one of
the big reasons
55
00:02:12,580 --> 00:02:13,718
why I'm still single.
56
00:02:13,719 --> 00:02:15,168
Wait a second,
aren't you dating
57
00:02:15,169 --> 00:02:17,274
that new girl from
the Cubs' PR office?
58
00:02:17,275 --> 00:02:19,414
I think calling it
"dating" is generous.
59
00:02:19,415 --> 00:02:22,141
It's more like
meet for a drink,
go back to her apartment,
60
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,212
and then bolt out
sometime before sunrise.
61
00:02:24,213 --> 00:02:25,627
There's gotta be
a shorter name for that.
62
00:02:25,628 --> 00:02:27,594
How about "I'm scared"?
63
00:02:27,595 --> 00:02:29,424
Actually, I am maturing.
64
00:02:29,425 --> 00:02:30,942
We're going on, like,
our third date this week.
65
00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:32,703
Hey!
Which is why it's over.
66
00:02:32,704 --> 00:02:33,980
Yeah,
tonight's the swan song.
67
00:02:33,981 --> 00:02:35,326
Is that...
"Swan song," is that right?
68
00:02:35,327 --> 00:02:36,672
Yeah.
Yeah. Swan song.
69
00:02:36,673 --> 00:02:38,743
After the third date,
chicks start expecting stuff.
70
00:02:38,744 --> 00:02:40,124
Like a fourth date?
71
00:02:40,125 --> 00:02:42,472
Can we get started,
please? Jeez.
72
00:02:44,094 --> 00:02:46,475
Brendo!
Brendo!
73
00:02:46,476 --> 00:02:48,132
Sorry I'm late, guys.
I'm sorry.
74
00:02:48,133 --> 00:02:50,203
Brendan is like
the veteran on the team.
75
00:02:50,204 --> 00:02:52,550
We were roommates in college
and have been
close ever since.
76
00:02:52,551 --> 00:02:54,656
It's like we came up
through the minor
leagues together.
77
00:02:54,657 --> 00:02:56,866
So, guys, I have some...
78
00:02:58,039 --> 00:03:00,558
Yeah, yeah,
I guess you call it news.
79
00:03:00,559 --> 00:03:02,629
Well, all right,
I'm just gonna come out
and say this. I...
80
00:03:02,630 --> 00:03:04,666
You broke up with Wendy.
81
00:03:04,667 --> 00:03:06,081
Yeah. How'd you know?
82
00:03:06,082 --> 00:03:07,565
Dude, you've broken up
with her, like, 83 times.
83
00:03:07,566 --> 00:03:08,808
It was a good guess.
84
00:03:08,809 --> 00:03:10,568
Yeah, it's like either
you had a hot dog today,
85
00:03:10,569 --> 00:03:12,363
or you broke up with Wendy.
86
00:03:12,364 --> 00:03:14,365
Yeah, it's like
either you played Metallica
on your radio show today,
87
00:03:14,366 --> 00:03:15,953
or you broke up with Wendy.
88
00:03:15,954 --> 00:03:18,473
It was like you broke
up with Wendy today,
or you broke up with Wendy.
89
00:03:18,474 --> 00:03:20,440
Blah, blah, blah,
let's play poker.
90
00:03:20,441 --> 00:03:22,304
I'm on a time constraint.
All right?
91
00:03:22,305 --> 00:03:24,617
Wow, guys.
Thank you so much
for the sensitivity.
92
00:03:24,618 --> 00:03:26,343
That's really...
That's nice.
93
00:03:26,344 --> 00:03:27,447
Oh.
Oh.
94
00:03:27,448 --> 00:03:29,173
Are you okay, man?
95
00:03:29,174 --> 00:03:30,312
Yeah, you know,
I'm all right...
96
00:03:30,313 --> 00:03:32,694
Great! Let's play cards.
Let's play!
97
00:03:32,695 --> 00:03:35,248
Oh, Peej.
I need to ask you a favor.
98
00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:37,492
You want to crash here.
99
00:03:37,493 --> 00:03:40,426
It's totally cool.
The guest room's free.
100
00:03:40,427 --> 00:03:42,462
Wow. Am I really
that predictable?
101
00:03:42,463 --> 00:03:44,326
You're like the most
predictable person we know.
102
00:03:44,327 --> 00:03:46,397
I only got 79 minutes.
103
00:03:46,398 --> 00:03:48,192
Except for Andy.
104
00:03:48,193 --> 00:03:50,401
So I guess you
could say my place is
the team's clubhouse.
105
00:03:50,402 --> 00:03:52,092
It's like
the players' second home
106
00:03:52,093 --> 00:03:55,924
where we celebrate wins
and we pick each
other up after losses.
107
00:03:55,925 --> 00:03:57,408
We obviously
don't shower together.
108
00:03:57,409 --> 00:03:58,858
That would be weird.
109
00:03:58,859 --> 00:04:01,585
What's wrong with you?
110
00:04:01,586 --> 00:04:05,002
The reason I love sports
is because you
know where you stand.
111
00:04:05,003 --> 00:04:06,935
Someone wins
and someone loses.
112
00:04:06,936 --> 00:04:09,040
It's black and white.
113
00:04:09,041 --> 00:04:12,631
Dating, on the other hand,
is a whole
different ballgame.
114
00:04:14,392 --> 00:04:16,151
Hey, Skip.
Arm feels pretty good.
115
00:04:16,152 --> 00:04:17,359
Is it good
enough to play short?
116
00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:18,498
No, no, no, no.
117
00:04:18,499 --> 00:04:19,775
Bury me at first
and pray to God
118
00:04:19,776 --> 00:04:21,052
I don't have to
throw to anybody.
119
00:04:21,053 --> 00:04:22,226
All right,
we've got 15 minutes
120
00:04:22,227 --> 00:04:23,641
till game time,
and no shortstop.
121
00:04:23,642 --> 00:04:25,091
Where's Mike and his friend?
122
00:04:25,092 --> 00:04:27,127
Hey. We're dead.
123
00:04:27,128 --> 00:04:30,130
You see their pitcher?
Throwing at least 80.
124
00:04:30,131 --> 00:04:31,408
I'm not saying let's forfeit.
125
00:04:31,409 --> 00:04:33,927
I'm saying,
seriously, let's forfeit.
126
00:04:33,928 --> 00:04:36,344
All right, if you complain
to me about the order,
127
00:04:36,345 --> 00:04:38,278
I will drop you down.
128
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,590
Mike! Finally.
129
00:04:41,591 --> 00:04:43,937
P.J., this is Bobby.
He's our new shortstop.
130
00:04:43,938 --> 00:04:45,180
Hey. P.J.
Hey.
131
00:04:45,181 --> 00:04:47,286
We've met before,
haven't we?
132
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,494
Yeah, yeah, in the
press box the other day.
You borrowed my pen.
133
00:04:48,495 --> 00:04:50,944
That's right.
You're the new Trib guy.
134
00:04:50,945 --> 00:04:52,670
So what the hell?
That pen ran out of ink.
135
00:04:52,671 --> 00:04:56,295
That's why I had no problem
lending it to you.
136
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,365
So, are you good?
137
00:04:57,366 --> 00:04:58,504
I haven't played
much since college.
138
00:04:58,505 --> 00:05:00,264
So, like, last year?
139
00:05:00,265 --> 00:05:01,610
That's funny.
She's funny.
140
00:05:01,611 --> 00:05:03,060
You didn't tell
me she was funny.
141
00:05:03,061 --> 00:05:04,993
Yeah.
She's a barrel of monkeys.
142
00:05:04,994 --> 00:05:06,995
So, Bobby, you'll bat last.
143
00:05:06,996 --> 00:05:08,410
Come on,
you're gonna bat me last
144
00:05:08,411 --> 00:05:10,274
just because you can't
take a little teasing?
145
00:05:10,275 --> 00:05:13,312
No, I'm batting you last
'cause you might suck.
146
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,176
That's good coaching.
147
00:05:18,766 --> 00:05:20,146
Excuse me.
148
00:05:20,147 --> 00:05:22,874
Yeah, yeah.
I'll see you in a minute.
149
00:05:24,185 --> 00:05:25,703
Sarah from Minneapolis.
150
00:05:25,704 --> 00:05:28,085
Huge Sabbath fan.
Loves my show.
151
00:05:28,086 --> 00:05:29,362
Thrilled for her.
152
00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:31,468
Yeah, I still got it.
153
00:05:31,469 --> 00:05:33,435
Watch out, ladies,
'cause Dr. Brendo
is back and...
154
00:05:33,436 --> 00:05:35,817
Don't say,
"Making house calls."
155
00:05:35,818 --> 00:05:39,821
Fine. Senator Brendo,
working for you.
156
00:05:39,822 --> 00:05:41,754
Oh, my God.
What's wrong with you?
157
00:05:41,755 --> 00:05:44,791
That one throw,
you almost took
that dude's head off.
158
00:05:44,792 --> 00:05:47,000
So, Bobby,
you playing with us
for good now, or what?
159
00:05:47,001 --> 00:05:48,450
Well, yeah, sure.
I'd love to.
160
00:05:48,451 --> 00:05:49,727
I mean,
if you guys
have the room.
161
00:05:49,728 --> 00:05:50,970
Have the room?
162
00:05:50,971 --> 00:05:52,143
For Christ sakes,
we won the game.
163
00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:53,869
You're the best
player we have.
164
00:05:53,870 --> 00:05:55,492
We'll make the room.
165
00:05:55,493 --> 00:05:56,976
Kenny, you're off the team.
166
00:05:56,977 --> 00:05:58,702
What? Who's gonna
play first?
167
00:05:58,703 --> 00:06:00,013
Bobby, he's gonna
play every position.
168
00:06:00,014 --> 00:06:01,705
He's a veritable
one-man team.
169
00:06:01,706 --> 00:06:03,741
To Bobby.
To Bobby, if he'll have us.
170
00:06:03,742 --> 00:06:05,329
Cheers. All right.
171
00:06:05,330 --> 00:06:08,021
Hey, you about
ready to go?
Yeah.
172
00:06:08,022 --> 00:06:09,126
Hi, Mike.
173
00:06:09,127 --> 00:06:10,438
Hello, Stephanie.
174
00:06:10,439 --> 00:06:12,301
Hi, Kenny.
Hello, Stephanie.
175
00:06:12,302 --> 00:06:13,510
May I get you
an adult beverage?
176
00:06:13,511 --> 00:06:15,719
No, no, no,
'cause we're gonna go.
177
00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:17,065
Bobby,
this is Stephanie.
178
00:06:17,066 --> 00:06:18,791
Oh. Hi.
179
00:06:18,792 --> 00:06:20,275
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
180
00:06:20,276 --> 00:06:22,070
I just gotta go home
and change, all right?
181
00:06:22,071 --> 00:06:24,969
Stephanie and I
helped each other
get through journalism school.
182
00:06:24,970 --> 00:06:27,627
She keeps trying to
get me to be more girly.
183
00:06:27,628 --> 00:06:32,150
But trust me,
she's plenty girly enough
for the both of us.
184
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,774
So, who's the cute
one I don't know?
185
00:06:36,775 --> 00:06:38,569
Bobby? He's the new guy.
186
00:06:38,570 --> 00:06:41,192
So...
187
00:06:41,193 --> 00:06:43,436
I don't know,
I just met the guy.
188
00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:46,094
He's cute,
he's funny, he's smart.
189
00:06:46,095 --> 00:06:48,786
But I mean, I'm not looking
for a relationship,
so I don't know.
190
00:06:48,787 --> 00:06:50,374
You can do what
you always do.
191
00:06:50,375 --> 00:06:52,687
Date him until
he can't handle
all the guys in your life
192
00:06:52,688 --> 00:06:56,725
and then break up with him
because he's crazy
for being jealous.
193
00:06:56,726 --> 00:06:59,418
I don't always do that.
194
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:02,144
Anyway, I realize
that all my anxiety
195
00:07:02,145 --> 00:07:04,112
is really coming
from my relationship
with Adam,
196
00:07:04,113 --> 00:07:06,183
and that
there's just something
that I've been avoiding
197
00:07:06,184 --> 00:07:08,772
that I think I
have to finally face.
198
00:07:08,773 --> 00:07:10,188
What?
You know.
199
00:07:11,672 --> 00:07:13,224
What?
Sex.
200
00:07:13,225 --> 00:07:15,262
You haven't had sex yet?
201
00:07:17,678 --> 00:07:18,954
It's been,
like, three months.
202
00:07:18,955 --> 00:07:20,300
Two and a half.
203
00:07:20,301 --> 00:07:22,130
And you know how I feel.
204
00:07:22,131 --> 00:07:23,718
If you sleep
with a guy too soon,
it's too easy,
205
00:07:23,719 --> 00:07:26,272
and you're not
a challenge anymore.
206
00:07:26,273 --> 00:07:29,378
Oh, Steph, trust me.
207
00:07:29,379 --> 00:07:31,657
You're very challenging.
208
00:07:31,658 --> 00:07:33,969
It's time for Football Sunday.
209
00:07:33,970 --> 00:07:35,730
Today's game is
Chicago against Green Bay.
210
00:07:37,802 --> 00:07:41,252
Coming. Coming.
211
00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:43,531
Hey, what's happening?
Hey, how you doing?
212
00:07:43,532 --> 00:07:45,153
I got your corned beef.
It looked blue.
213
00:07:45,154 --> 00:07:46,706
Game's starting soon.
214
00:07:46,707 --> 00:07:47,914
Where's Brendan?
215
00:07:47,915 --> 00:07:49,433
He's probably
still sleeping.
216
00:07:49,434 --> 00:07:50,814
There'll be no sleeping.
The Bears are on.
217
00:07:50,815 --> 00:07:52,747
Yo, Brendo! Bears!
218
00:07:52,748 --> 00:07:54,783
Brendan!
219
00:07:54,784 --> 00:07:56,544
He's not here.
220
00:07:56,545 --> 00:07:59,408
Maybe he went home
with that girl from the bar.
221
00:07:59,409 --> 00:08:00,582
The girl from the bar.
222
00:08:00,583 --> 00:08:01,721
What girl
from the bar?
223
00:08:01,722 --> 00:08:02,895
You know,
the girl that he was,
224
00:08:02,896 --> 00:08:04,517
like, flirting
with the whole night.
225
00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:06,070
Outstanding.
226
00:08:06,071 --> 00:08:08,107
Fantastic!
227
00:08:08,108 --> 00:08:11,904
What girl from the bar?
I'm so proud of you.
228
00:08:11,905 --> 00:08:14,216
Hey, you know what?
Let's celebrate, huh?
229
00:08:14,217 --> 00:08:16,495
I gotta tell you,
I did not think
this breakup was real,
230
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:19,532
but now that it is,
I say, thank God.
231
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:21,879
'Cause Wendy was
ripping your soul out.
232
00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:24,849
But anyway, she's gone.
Forever.
233
00:08:25,677 --> 00:08:27,540
A toast. To new beginnings.
234
00:08:27,541 --> 00:08:28,714
To one night stands.
235
00:08:28,715 --> 00:08:30,129
What girl from the bar?
236
00:08:30,130 --> 00:08:31,337
I have no idea.
237
00:08:31,338 --> 00:08:33,512
I kind of slept over
at Wendy's last night.
238
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:36,343
No beer for you.
We're not celebrating.
239
00:08:36,792 --> 00:08:38,068
Mmm-mmm.
240
00:08:38,069 --> 00:08:40,312
She called late,
we talked.
241
00:08:41,451 --> 00:08:42,935
She was lonely.
God...
242
00:08:42,936 --> 00:08:45,351
And then she
heard this weird noise
in her apartment,
243
00:08:45,352 --> 00:08:47,940
so, look,
nothing happened, all right?
244
00:08:47,941 --> 00:08:49,079
You just talked?
245
00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:51,220
Yes, we just talked. I swear.
246
00:08:54,257 --> 00:08:55,948
A little cuddling.
247
00:08:55,949 --> 00:08:57,846
Ooh!
248
00:08:57,847 --> 00:08:59,710
You know what I mean,
all right?
249
00:08:59,711 --> 00:09:01,299
Nothing happened.
250
00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:03,543
Huh.
251
00:09:04,889 --> 00:09:05,889
What, "huh"?
252
00:09:05,890 --> 00:09:07,649
Bren, you got a booty call.
253
00:09:07,650 --> 00:09:09,755
What? No, I told you.
Nothing happened.
We just talked.
254
00:09:09,756 --> 00:09:12,378
No, I know. See, sex
is the guy's booty call.
255
00:09:12,379 --> 00:09:14,794
You got the girl booty call.
256
00:09:14,795 --> 00:09:16,002
The girl booty call?
257
00:09:16,003 --> 00:09:18,349
Yeah, it's the most complex
of all booty calls,
258
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:21,594
you see,
with the girl booty call,
she needs that emotional fix.
259
00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:23,631
You know,
the "Hold me, I'm scared,
260
00:09:23,632 --> 00:09:26,185
"it's so lonely
here without you."
261
00:09:26,186 --> 00:09:28,463
The minute she
finds somebody else,
you're out.
262
00:09:28,464 --> 00:09:29,637
That's ridiculous.
263
00:09:29,638 --> 00:09:31,328
Booty calls are
not worth it.
264
00:09:31,329 --> 00:09:32,881
That's the one thing
you learn as you get older.
265
00:09:32,882 --> 00:09:34,503
That's the one thing?
266
00:09:34,504 --> 00:09:35,953
Yeah, I mean,
you know it's
not going anywhere,
267
00:09:35,954 --> 00:09:39,370
but she's hot,
so you gotta
pretend that it might.
268
00:09:39,371 --> 00:09:41,372
And then the next day,
you don't call.
269
00:09:41,373 --> 00:09:43,167
Which is fine until
you run into her one day,
270
00:09:43,168 --> 00:09:45,238
like, oh, I don't know,
she's working at
a Lord and Taylor,
271
00:09:45,239 --> 00:09:47,275
and you're trying
to buy a pair of pants.
272
00:09:47,276 --> 00:09:48,897
And she hates me.
273
00:09:48,898 --> 00:09:50,174
Who can blame her?
274
00:09:50,175 --> 00:09:52,176
Yes. Sure.
275
00:09:52,177 --> 00:09:53,868
But not only
does she hate me,
but now everybody hates me
276
00:09:53,869 --> 00:09:56,733
because all of a sudden,
I'm that guy.
277
00:09:56,734 --> 00:09:58,873
And no one will sell me
a freaking pair of pants.
278
00:09:58,874 --> 00:10:00,875
What's Lord and Taylor?
Water tower.
279
00:10:00,876 --> 00:10:03,567
That's a good one.
That is a good one.
280
00:10:03,568 --> 00:10:05,189
You know...
281
00:10:05,190 --> 00:10:06,812
You know, it'd be fine
if there were just
one or two of them,
282
00:10:06,813 --> 00:10:08,986
but there have been so many.
283
00:10:08,987 --> 00:10:12,472
I mean, there are
whole parts of this town
I haven't been to in years.
284
00:10:12,473 --> 00:10:14,129
I would love to go to
the Lincoln Park Zoo.
285
00:10:14,130 --> 00:10:15,372
Hey, the pandas had a baby.
286
00:10:15,373 --> 00:10:16,684
I don't believe that.
287
00:10:16,685 --> 00:10:19,100
It's true.
288
00:10:19,101 --> 00:10:22,068
There are rules
in sports that don't
exist on paper,
289
00:10:22,069 --> 00:10:24,208
but all
the players abide by them.
290
00:10:24,209 --> 00:10:27,418
These unwritten rules
keep our excitement
for the game alive.
291
00:10:27,419 --> 00:10:30,180
Hey. Stop working,
try-hard, game's over.
292
00:10:30,181 --> 00:10:31,630
Don't be a hero.
You'll get everybody hurt.
293
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,321
Oh. Wouldn't want to do that.
294
00:10:33,322 --> 00:10:34,805
You know,
make the rest of us look bad.
295
00:10:34,806 --> 00:10:37,049
As it is, you're a lot cuter
than everybody else.
296
00:10:37,050 --> 00:10:40,259
I don't know.
Harve? Kind of foxy,
297
00:10:40,260 --> 00:10:42,226
in like a bloated, pasty way.
298
00:10:42,227 --> 00:10:43,538
Check him out.
299
00:10:43,539 --> 00:10:44,747
I will.
300
00:10:47,094 --> 00:10:50,096
Hey, what are you doing now?
You want to grab a beer?
301
00:10:50,097 --> 00:10:52,547
I... Okay.
302
00:10:52,548 --> 00:10:54,067
Sure, that sounds great.
303
00:10:56,414 --> 00:10:58,657
Huh. The unwritten rules.
Okay, so, like
304
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,520
throwing out
a batter in retaliation?
305
00:11:00,521 --> 00:11:02,488
Yeah,
don't take an extra base
when you're ahead.
306
00:11:02,489 --> 00:11:04,663
Cleats up, cleats down,
that kind of thing, you know?
307
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:07,010
So I'm gonna submit it
to some magazines and...
308
00:11:07,011 --> 00:11:08,252
That's awesome.
309
00:11:08,253 --> 00:11:10,185
I got a few things
in Sports Illustrated.
310
00:11:10,186 --> 00:11:13,257
Stories?
No. Ads. Yeah.
311
00:11:13,258 --> 00:11:15,018
I was selling baseball cards.
312
00:11:15,019 --> 00:11:17,020
Oh, really?
You collect them, too?
Yeah.
313
00:11:17,021 --> 00:11:19,401
I just sold an
Ernie Banks rookie card.
314
00:11:19,402 --> 00:11:21,334
You sold it?
Are you insane?
315
00:11:21,335 --> 00:11:23,336
No. I had two.
316
00:11:23,337 --> 00:11:25,787
I actually...
I've been collecting
since I was seven.
317
00:11:25,788 --> 00:11:27,789
Wow. Okay.
So you were that girl.
318
00:11:27,790 --> 00:11:30,792
You would've broken my heart
into a million pieces.
319
00:11:30,793 --> 00:11:32,345
God. I don't know.
320
00:11:32,346 --> 00:11:34,244
I did punch the boys I liked.
321
00:11:34,245 --> 00:11:36,177
Really? That's hot.
322
00:11:37,420 --> 00:11:39,664
No, seriously. That's hot.
323
00:11:43,599 --> 00:11:44,772
What's up, you two?
324
00:11:44,773 --> 00:11:46,566
What's going on?
Hey!
325
00:11:46,567 --> 00:11:47,913
Hey, how about that
eighth inning, huh?
326
00:11:47,914 --> 00:11:49,500
That kid Hill is
something special.
327
00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:51,261
I know, right?
He is.
328
00:11:51,262 --> 00:11:53,850
Hey, we're going to
the new barbecue place
on Ashland, are you in?
329
00:11:53,851 --> 00:11:56,024
Um...
330
00:11:56,025 --> 00:11:57,957
You know what,
actually I'm not hungry.
I'm happy here.
331
00:11:57,958 --> 00:11:59,579
You're gonna love this place.
It's the real deal.
332
00:11:59,580 --> 00:12:01,443
They put the barbecue
on Wonder Bread
and everything.
333
00:12:01,444 --> 00:12:02,686
Huh.
You see, you keep thinking
334
00:12:02,687 --> 00:12:03,618
Wonder Bread's
a selling point.
335
00:12:03,619 --> 00:12:05,862
But it's not.
336
00:12:05,863 --> 00:12:07,656
All right.
337
00:12:07,657 --> 00:12:09,175
Well, you guys
just let us know
how it is, huh?
338
00:12:09,176 --> 00:12:10,694
Really? Come on.
339
00:12:10,695 --> 00:12:12,489
Come on, seriously.
Barbecue. Mmm.
340
00:12:12,490 --> 00:12:13,939
And besides,
don't leave me
alone with this guy.
341
00:12:13,940 --> 00:12:16,389
I've got nothing left
to talk to him about.
342
00:12:16,390 --> 00:12:18,737
Come on.
All right. You know what?
Fine, I could eat.
343
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,566
Why not?
Oh, really?
344
00:12:20,567 --> 00:12:22,050
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You sure you
don't want to go?
345
00:12:22,051 --> 00:12:24,397
Yeah, sure, sure, sure.
I got things to do.
346
00:12:24,398 --> 00:12:25,951
You guys go ahead. Seriously.
347
00:12:25,952 --> 00:12:27,469
All right.
Okay.
348
00:12:27,470 --> 00:12:29,264
Well, then, I'll see
you tomorrow at the field.
349
00:12:29,265 --> 00:12:31,095
Sounds cool. Okay.
350
00:12:33,304 --> 00:12:36,685
You see, here's where
this dating game gets tricky.
351
00:12:36,686 --> 00:12:41,173
I mean, in a split second,
I've gone from
winning to losing.
352
00:12:41,174 --> 00:12:43,175
But the game's
not over, right?
353
00:12:43,176 --> 00:12:45,384
I mean, now I'm the underdog.
354
00:12:45,385 --> 00:12:48,388
Hey, who doesn't
root for the underdog?
355
00:12:55,809 --> 00:12:57,051
Maybe I've just lost it.
356
00:12:57,052 --> 00:12:58,328
You haven't lost it.
357
00:12:58,329 --> 00:13:00,744
But you don't want to
hear my advice, so...
358
00:13:00,745 --> 00:13:04,023
Okay, I think your problem is
you're too much
one of the guys.
359
00:13:04,024 --> 00:13:06,508
You're not mysterious.
It's not sexy.
360
00:13:06,509 --> 00:13:08,476
And he probably doesn't
even know you're interested.
361
00:13:08,477 --> 00:13:09,857
Well, then he's an idiot.
362
00:13:09,858 --> 00:13:11,582
Peej, you're hot.
363
00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:15,207
It wouldn't kill you
to strut your stuff
once in a while.
364
00:13:15,208 --> 00:13:16,760
Okay, maybe you're right,
all right?
365
00:13:16,761 --> 00:13:19,280
Maybe I could put
a little effort into it.
366
00:13:19,281 --> 00:13:20,660
For real?
367
00:13:20,661 --> 00:13:22,697
Yeah, like maybe,
you could, you know,
368
00:13:22,698 --> 00:13:24,803
help me pick out a cute top,
and I'll do my hair.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
369
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:28,392
Can we just mark this moment,
the day that you
listened to my advice?
370
00:13:28,393 --> 00:13:29,911
Yes, you've worn me down.
371
00:13:29,912 --> 00:13:31,948
Okay, when are you
seeing him next?
Tomorrow night.
372
00:13:31,949 --> 00:13:33,881
The guys asked him
to play poker with us.
373
00:13:33,882 --> 00:13:36,055
Poker game.
That's not ideal.
374
00:13:36,056 --> 00:13:37,367
But we can make this work.
Okay.
375
00:13:37,368 --> 00:13:39,610
We're gonna get the top.
We'll do the hair.
376
00:13:39,611 --> 00:13:41,889
We'll make some
hors d'oeuvres.
Hmm?
377
00:13:41,890 --> 00:13:44,201
And you may want to think
about letting him win.
378
00:13:44,202 --> 00:13:46,895
Oh, God.
That's where I draw the line.
379
00:14:01,979 --> 00:14:03,048
Hey.
380
00:14:03,049 --> 00:14:04,118
Oh, hey.
381
00:14:04,119 --> 00:14:06,879
I had the most
killer show today.
382
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:12,022
The guys from
Queensryche in my studio,
90 minutes, awesome.
383
00:14:12,023 --> 00:14:13,748
Something burning?
384
00:14:13,749 --> 00:14:15,439
Crap. My hors d'oeuvres.
385
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:17,476
You made hors d'oeuvres?
Yeah.
386
00:14:17,477 --> 00:14:18,615
Wait. You're cooking?
387
00:14:18,616 --> 00:14:19,719
I cook.
388
00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:21,204
You don't cook.
389
00:14:21,205 --> 00:14:22,653
The P.J. I know
does not cook.
390
00:14:22,654 --> 00:14:24,483
I do cook. I cook
when you're not looking.
391
00:14:24,484 --> 00:14:26,002
Whoa! You look good.
392
00:14:26,003 --> 00:14:27,072
Oh, thanks.
393
00:14:27,073 --> 00:14:28,418
Why?
394
00:14:28,419 --> 00:14:32,147
Hey. I didn't bring beer.
I'm planning on mooching.
395
00:14:32,699 --> 00:14:33,733
Are you cooking?
396
00:14:33,734 --> 00:14:34,803
I know, right?
397
00:14:34,804 --> 00:14:36,495
I cook stuff.
All right?
398
00:14:36,496 --> 00:14:38,256
And even if I don't,
I do now.
399
00:14:39,154 --> 00:14:40,948
Hey! We have arrived.
400
00:14:40,949 --> 00:14:42,432
Hey. All right.
Hey, Andy. What's up?
401
00:14:42,433 --> 00:14:44,261
What's going on?
All righty.
402
00:14:44,262 --> 00:14:45,745
How's it going?
There's the beer.
Hey, Andy, this is Bobby.
403
00:14:45,746 --> 00:14:47,955
He's our new shortstop.
This is Andy,
he's our old shortstop.
404
00:14:47,956 --> 00:14:49,059
Ouch.
405
00:14:49,060 --> 00:14:50,681
I'm P.J.'s brother.
Hey.
406
00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:53,098
Here's something weird.
She's cooking.
What?
407
00:14:53,099 --> 00:14:54,685
Why?
I don't know.
408
00:14:54,686 --> 00:14:56,308
Hi, guys.
Hey.
409
00:14:56,309 --> 00:14:58,034
Hey, Bobby.
Mushroom cap?
410
00:14:58,035 --> 00:14:59,898
Are you wearing
make-up?
411
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,658
Yeah. I had
this thing earlier.
412
00:15:01,659 --> 00:15:04,488
A make-up thing?
413
00:15:04,489 --> 00:15:08,976
Why don't you go
get the table set,
and I'll check on the brie.
414
00:15:08,977 --> 00:15:10,978
There's brie?
415
00:15:10,979 --> 00:15:13,394
What's happening?
416
00:15:13,395 --> 00:15:17,846
So on top of everything
else, it turns out Bobby's
a decent poker player.
417
00:15:17,847 --> 00:15:19,296
You had two.
Yes!
418
00:15:19,297 --> 00:15:21,540
Yeah!
On Southport, yes.
I live right by there.
419
00:15:21,541 --> 00:15:22,748
Oh, my God,
I love that place.
420
00:15:22,749 --> 00:15:23,956
Have you had their wings?
421
00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:26,096
Yeah.
Like, the best in the city.
422
00:15:26,097 --> 00:15:28,823
And they have the real
old school Asteroids.
423
00:15:28,824 --> 00:15:32,137
I know. I don't want to brag,
but I'm kind of
the reigning champ.
424
00:15:32,138 --> 00:15:34,725
Really? Well,
we're gonna have to do
something about that.
425
00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:35,968
Okay.
426
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,076
I gotta run.
427
00:15:40,077 --> 00:15:42,285
If I'm late, she'll
make me quit this, too.
428
00:15:42,286 --> 00:15:44,321
Okay, Andy,
she can't make
you do anything.
429
00:15:44,322 --> 00:15:46,703
We both know I
have no free will.
430
00:15:46,704 --> 00:15:49,396
It's okay.
I've made peace with it.
431
00:15:50,846 --> 00:15:52,467
Catch you guys next week.
432
00:15:52,468 --> 00:15:53,503
Okay, that's
depressing.
433
00:15:54,574 --> 00:15:55,954
Yeah.
434
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,058
All right.
435
00:15:57,059 --> 00:15:59,854
Sleepy time.
We're out.
436
00:15:59,855 --> 00:16:01,338
Oh, hey. Bobby.
Why don't you
come with us?
437
00:16:01,339 --> 00:16:03,720
We'll give you a ride.
438
00:16:03,721 --> 00:16:07,413
No. No.
You don't need a ride. Stay.
439
00:16:07,414 --> 00:16:10,209
Stay and take the train,
or the bus or a cab.
440
00:16:10,210 --> 00:16:12,073
Or do something
crazy like walk home.
441
00:16:12,074 --> 00:16:15,283
So thank you for tonight.
442
00:16:15,284 --> 00:16:18,321
I'll see you tomorrow, probably?
443
00:16:18,322 --> 00:16:19,737
Yeah, yeah.
444
00:16:20,945 --> 00:16:22,774
All right.
Okay.
445
00:16:26,675 --> 00:16:29,090
I wore this cute
top for nothing?
446
00:16:35,201 --> 00:16:37,513
Hello? Hey.
447
00:16:39,032 --> 00:16:41,827
No, no, I'm not
doing anything right now.
448
00:16:41,828 --> 00:16:43,898
What do you mean?
449
00:16:43,899 --> 00:16:47,522
Do you want me to come over
and check it out?
450
00:16:47,523 --> 00:16:49,835
Okay. Okay, cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
451
00:16:49,836 --> 00:16:52,976
I'll be over there in like,
two minutes. Okay.
452
00:16:52,977 --> 00:16:54,529
Bye.
453
00:16:54,530 --> 00:16:55,668
What are you doing?
454
00:16:55,669 --> 00:16:57,532
What?
455
00:16:57,533 --> 00:17:00,777
Come on, dude.
She's not into you anymore.
456
00:17:00,778 --> 00:17:03,055
She's using you until
she finds another guy.
457
00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:04,884
That's not true.
458
00:17:04,885 --> 00:17:07,611
All right.
Don't come crying to me
when she dumps you again.
459
00:17:07,612 --> 00:17:08,750
Fine. I won't.
460
00:17:08,751 --> 00:17:10,304
Fine.
461
00:17:10,305 --> 00:17:11,615
Have fun in crazy land.
462
00:17:11,616 --> 00:17:12,789
Fine. I will.
463
00:17:14,102 --> 00:17:15,517
Fine.
464
00:17:17,139 --> 00:17:19,452
Hello?
P.J. Hey, it's Bobby.
465
00:17:20,763 --> 00:17:21,798
Hey!
466
00:17:21,799 --> 00:17:25,906
Hey. So I am downstairs,
467
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:30,738
and do you maybe wanna
get a drink or something?
468
00:17:30,739 --> 00:17:32,499
Yeah. Come on over.
469
00:17:34,363 --> 00:17:36,675
'Cause we could
have a drink here.
470
00:17:36,676 --> 00:17:37,952
Okay.
471
00:17:37,953 --> 00:17:39,609
Well,
I'll see you in a minute.
472
00:17:39,610 --> 00:17:41,232
All right. Great.
473
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:45,442
Oh, cute top.
Need my cute top.
474
00:17:45,443 --> 00:17:48,342
Why?
Bobby's coming for a drink.
475
00:17:48,343 --> 00:17:51,276
Now? With just you?
476
00:17:51,277 --> 00:17:53,485
Dude, you just
totally got a booty call.
477
00:17:53,486 --> 00:17:56,281
I know. Isn't it great?
478
00:17:56,282 --> 00:17:58,386
So it's fine for
you to get one,
but not for me?
479
00:17:58,387 --> 00:18:00,871
Yeah.
Mine's completely consensual.
480
00:18:00,872 --> 00:18:03,702
You are being used
by your booty call.
Completely different.
481
00:18:03,703 --> 00:18:07,913
You know what?
Anyway, bye, have fun.
Drive safe.
482
00:18:07,914 --> 00:18:09,639
Oh, so now
you want me to go.
483
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:11,399
Well, I don't really
want to be fighting
when he gets here,
484
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:12,780
it's not sexy.
485
00:18:12,781 --> 00:18:14,540
Well, then I might stay.
Then I might kill you.
486
00:18:14,541 --> 00:18:17,888
Then I'll go.
487
00:18:17,889 --> 00:18:21,168
Baseball players
go through a routine
as they step up to the plate.
488
00:18:21,169 --> 00:18:24,378
You knock
the dirt off your cleats,
you tighten your glove,
489
00:18:24,379 --> 00:18:27,001
and you just pray
you make contact.
490
00:18:35,183 --> 00:18:36,494
Hey.
491
00:18:37,046 --> 00:18:38,358
Hey.
492
00:18:41,430 --> 00:18:43,190
Thank you.
493
00:18:43,191 --> 00:18:46,296
Look, P.J., I don't
want you to think I...
494
00:18:46,297 --> 00:18:49,886
I mean, I just came up to...
You know...
495
00:18:49,887 --> 00:18:52,165
I'm fine if we don't...
496
00:18:54,512 --> 00:18:57,583
I just came for a drink.
497
00:18:57,584 --> 00:19:00,553
Really?
That's the only reason
you came back?
498
00:19:02,727 --> 00:19:04,039
Yes.
499
00:19:11,219 --> 00:19:15,291
Oh, hey, you want to see
my baseball card collection?
500
00:19:15,292 --> 00:19:17,086
It's in my bedroom.
501
00:19:24,715 --> 00:19:27,095
Wow, that is some collection.
502
00:19:27,096 --> 00:19:30,065
Yeah. It's been
building for a while.
503
00:19:31,756 --> 00:19:35,828
P.J., look,
I just want to say
that I really like you,
504
00:19:35,829 --> 00:19:38,417
and whatever
happens tonight...
505
00:19:38,418 --> 00:19:42,319
Oh, Bobby. You don't need
to give me the speech, okay?
506
00:19:43,112 --> 00:19:44,354
What speech?
507
00:19:44,355 --> 00:19:46,943
You know, the "We'll be
friends anyway" speech.
508
00:19:46,944 --> 00:19:50,049
I know we'll be friends.
509
00:19:50,050 --> 00:19:51,672
You do?
Yeah.
510
00:19:51,673 --> 00:19:54,122
And let's be honest,
we're both
grownups here, right?
511
00:19:54,123 --> 00:19:57,712
Yeah. Yeah.
Um, I guess.
512
00:19:57,713 --> 00:19:58,989
What's wrong?
513
00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:00,991
Uh...
514
00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:03,166
I don't know,
you're, uh...
515
00:20:03,167 --> 00:20:05,203
You're kind of
freaking me out
a little bit.
516
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:09,448
Oh, God, look.
Oh, I'm sorry.
517
00:20:09,449 --> 00:20:11,588
Here. Come sit down.
We'll take it slower.
518
00:20:11,589 --> 00:20:14,281
Oh! That... That... That's
what's freaking me out.
519
00:20:14,282 --> 00:20:15,972
Can you maybe
not say that stuff?
520
00:20:15,973 --> 00:20:17,111
What stuff?
521
00:20:17,112 --> 00:20:21,529
The guy stuff.
I mean, guys act like that.
522
00:20:21,530 --> 00:20:24,774
Girls say things like, um,
523
00:20:24,775 --> 00:20:27,363
"Wait. Why is this
happening so fast?"
524
00:20:27,364 --> 00:20:30,158
Or, "How do I know
this isn't just
a one night stand?"
525
00:20:30,159 --> 00:20:32,230
But that would be
completely acting.
526
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:35,164
Fine, but that's hot.
527
00:20:36,027 --> 00:20:38,064
Okay, fine.
528
00:20:42,310 --> 00:20:43,379
Okay, look, Bobby.
529
00:20:43,380 --> 00:20:46,899
This is really
happening just so fast,
530
00:20:46,900 --> 00:20:49,868
and I mean,
we don't know
each other very well,
531
00:20:49,869 --> 00:20:53,390
and how do I know
it isn't just
a one night stand?
532
00:20:54,977 --> 00:20:56,495
So you're mocking me.
533
00:20:56,496 --> 00:20:58,015
Only a little bit.
534
00:21:01,294 --> 00:21:04,538
Well, thank you for tonight.
535
00:21:04,539 --> 00:21:07,403
I had a really, um...
536
00:21:07,404 --> 00:21:09,577
A weird time.
537
00:21:09,578 --> 00:21:11,408
Well, you're weird.
538
00:21:13,444 --> 00:21:16,860
You know, I thought
some parts were
pretty okay, though.
539
00:21:16,861 --> 00:21:19,207
Yeah. Me, too.
540
00:21:19,208 --> 00:21:21,451
Okay,
so, I'll see you around.
541
00:21:21,452 --> 00:21:23,385
Not if I see you first.
542
00:21:24,455 --> 00:21:25,905
Okay.
Right.
543
00:21:28,701 --> 00:21:32,807
You see, this sucks.
544
00:21:32,808 --> 00:21:36,190
I mean, there's no umpires,
there's no referees,
545
00:21:36,191 --> 00:21:38,296
there's nobody
to call a foul.
546
00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:40,401
Nobody to throw a flag.
547
00:21:40,402 --> 00:21:45,304
I mean, come on,
shouldn't somebody
get a penalty here?
548
00:21:46,650 --> 00:21:49,790
Hey, I just passed Bobby.
He seemed weird.
549
00:21:49,791 --> 00:21:51,274
He is weird.
550
00:21:51,275 --> 00:21:54,105
Maybe I'm weird.
I don't really know.
551
00:21:55,348 --> 00:21:57,246
Hey, you're back.
552
00:22:00,008 --> 00:22:01,146
So I tried to kiss her.
553
00:22:01,147 --> 00:22:02,285
Yeah?
554
00:22:02,286 --> 00:22:04,183
You know, romantically?
555
00:22:04,184 --> 00:22:07,048
And she turned her head.
So I asked her, I said,
556
00:22:07,049 --> 00:22:09,361
"Are we getting
back together,
or am I just here to talk?"
557
00:22:09,362 --> 00:22:10,983
Right.
558
00:22:10,984 --> 00:22:12,710
God, I feel cheap.
559
00:22:17,405 --> 00:22:20,061
And damn you for being right.
560
00:22:20,062 --> 00:22:22,374
Okay, I was just
trying to protect you.
561
00:22:22,375 --> 00:22:24,238
Whatever.
562
00:22:24,239 --> 00:22:25,722
There are some
parts of the game
563
00:22:25,723 --> 00:22:27,103
you have to learn
through experience
564
00:22:27,104 --> 00:22:30,555
in order to become
a more complete player.
565
00:22:30,556 --> 00:22:32,833
You see, the difference
between love and sports
566
00:22:32,834 --> 00:22:37,769
is that sports have
very few unwritten rules,
and so many ones we all know.
567
00:22:37,770 --> 00:22:39,702
I mean, can you imagine
what it would be like
568
00:22:39,703 --> 00:22:41,704
if the foul line
was always moving,
569
00:22:41,705 --> 00:22:45,397
or if sometimes
it was two
strikes and you're out?
570
00:22:45,398 --> 00:22:49,160
If you've ever
tried to date someone,
you probably can.
571
00:22:53,855 --> 00:22:55,096
You guys should get drinks.
572
00:22:55,097 --> 00:22:57,376
You're gonna have to
go get drinks after the game.
573
00:22:59,516 --> 00:23:00,895
What?
42192
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