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1
00:00:11,170 --> 00:00:12,640
You wanna go to skinny dipping?
2
00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:14,140
Sure, lesbo.
3
00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:15,050
You are.
4
00:00:15,883 --> 00:00:16,840
You are though, really.
5
00:00:27,490 --> 00:00:28,520
Okay everyone,
6
00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:31,480
we have two very special
officers from the local PD,
7
00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:34,260
who will be giving us a
period of instructions
8
00:00:34,260 --> 00:00:36,676
on active shooters.
9
00:00:39,796 --> 00:00:40,629
Move it Lance.
10
00:00:41,462 --> 00:00:42,540
We've gotta teach you every
time to defend yourself.
11
00:00:42,540 --> 00:00:44,260
Do they use a real gun?
12
00:00:44,260 --> 00:00:47,420
No, they're just like,
simulating crisis at first.
13
00:00:47,420 --> 00:00:48,534
Bridges gave this to me.
14
00:00:48,534 --> 00:00:50,296
He knows we're in his office.
15
00:00:50,296 --> 00:00:51,129
Shit.
16
00:00:51,129 --> 00:00:51,962
Got your fucking chicken.
17
00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:57,340
You address her as ma'am.
18
00:00:57,340 --> 00:00:58,173
Thank you, sir.
19
00:00:58,173 --> 00:00:59,100
Can I get a volunteer?
20
00:01:00,013 --> 00:01:01,120
Do you wanna get out of here?
21
00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:03,520
There are three simple
things we can all do
22
00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:07,840
during today's demonstration,
to combat an active shooter.
23
00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:08,673
One.
24
00:01:08,673 --> 00:01:09,506
Hey, get over here.
25
00:01:09,506 --> 00:01:10,468
Go, go, run.
26
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:12,890
Hide.
27
00:01:12,890 --> 00:01:14,290
Bang bang, mother fucker.
28
00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:17,043
Fight.
29
00:01:17,043 --> 00:01:19,430
You cannot apprehend me.
30
00:01:19,430 --> 00:01:20,263
To my right,
31
00:01:20,263 --> 00:01:21,360
are your friends and colleagues,
32
00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:22,890
whose lives you could have saved
33
00:01:22,890 --> 00:01:24,105
had you paid more attention.
34
00:01:24,938 --> 00:01:25,771
Oh shit.
35
00:01:25,771 --> 00:01:27,100
Don't even fucking think it.
36
00:01:27,100 --> 00:01:28,989
Come on, hey wait, wait.
37
00:01:30,417 --> 00:01:32,190
Juan, come over.
38
00:01:32,190 --> 00:01:35,124
Indecision results in death.
39
00:01:35,124 --> 00:01:37,290
If you don't come out right now,
40
00:01:37,290 --> 00:01:38,823
I'm gonna smoke this bitch.
41
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:41,498
It's not your fault.
42
00:01:49,970 --> 00:01:51,060
Don't close your eyes.
43
00:01:51,060 --> 00:01:53,303
Don't close your eyes, fuck.
44
00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:09,763
Everybody dies.
45
00:02:10,860 --> 00:02:13,140
That's just the way that it goes.
46
00:02:13,140 --> 00:02:15,740
But what distinguishes
one man from the next,
47
00:02:15,740 --> 00:02:19,100
is how he lived his life
in between the dates
48
00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:20,750
that are etched in his tombstone.
49
00:02:21,610 --> 00:02:24,013
Today, we memorialize one of those men,
50
00:02:25,870 --> 00:02:29,260
by posthumously awarding,
Lieutenant Joffrey Bridges
51
00:02:31,010 --> 00:02:33,360
for the valor that he
showed outside of combat.
52
00:02:36,650 --> 00:02:38,000
Thank you for your service.
53
00:02:48,890 --> 00:02:49,723
In addition,
54
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:52,060
we need to bring attention to those
55
00:02:52,060 --> 00:02:54,233
who sacrifice themselves for us.
56
00:02:55,870 --> 00:02:57,810
The brotherhood that we share,
57
00:02:57,810 --> 00:02:59,930
when we fight for one another
and lay down our lives
58
00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:02,430
for the person to the left
and to the right of us.
59
00:03:03,460 --> 00:03:05,050
And because of that,
60
00:03:05,050 --> 00:03:07,430
I am proud to award,
61
00:03:07,430 --> 00:03:10,140
United States army soldiers medal,
62
00:03:10,140 --> 00:03:13,300
to my friend and colleague,
63
00:03:13,300 --> 00:03:17,307
Sergeant Richard Felt Butts.
64
00:03:25,700 --> 00:03:28,113
Congratulations and good job.
65
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,093
Thank you, Sergeant Dean.
66
00:03:35,940 --> 00:03:38,253
And thank all of you for being here today.
67
00:03:39,766 --> 00:03:40,966
And for believing in me.
68
00:03:43,020 --> 00:03:46,910
You know, I used to think this
was all one big simulation,
69
00:03:46,910 --> 00:03:49,450
but now I know, it's real.
70
00:03:49,450 --> 00:03:52,750
This big flat piece of earth
we're all sharing today,
71
00:03:52,750 --> 00:03:54,310
is very real.
72
00:03:54,310 --> 00:03:57,560
Almost as real as genetically
modified beehives,
73
00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:58,615
or nine-11.
74
00:03:58,615 --> 00:03:59,448
No, no.
75
00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:01,278
Or other deep state activities.
76
00:04:01,278 --> 00:04:03,120
Stop, stop, gimme the mic.
77
00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:03,960
- That our.
- Stop it.
78
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:05,790
Superiors are hiding from us.
79
00:04:05,790 --> 00:04:06,848
Stupid, thank you.
80
00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:11,000
Sergeant Butts, a true American hero,
81
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:14,240
words of wisdom, we'll never forget.
82
00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:16,160
The bar is open for one more hour,
83
00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:20,403
so everybody have a good
time and be responsible.
84
00:04:22,260 --> 00:04:24,797
All right, thank you all for coming.
85
00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:33,657
The award system is
total bullshit, Cera.
86
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:24,290
Thanks for your service.
87
00:05:24,290 --> 00:05:25,370
You're welcome.
88
00:05:25,370 --> 00:05:26,265
Oh, hi.
89
00:05:26,265 --> 00:05:28,098
God bless you.
90
00:05:28,098 --> 00:05:29,840
And God bless you.
91
00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:34,200
Butts, I'm so sorry.
92
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,374
I was selfish and I ignored you and-
93
00:05:36,374 --> 00:05:39,032
Lawrence, Lawrence.
94
00:05:39,032 --> 00:05:42,080
There's only one thing
worse than crisis actors
95
00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,183
and that's people trying
to hurt my friends.
96
00:05:47,830 --> 00:05:48,987
I love you, man.
97
00:05:48,987 --> 00:05:49,983
I love you.
98
00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:55,023
Apes, together, strong.
99
00:05:56,101 --> 00:05:56,934
Okay.
100
00:05:56,934 --> 00:05:58,900
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
101
00:05:58,900 --> 00:05:59,993
Ah, my stitches.
102
00:06:00,826 --> 00:06:01,659
Oh, sorry.
103
00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:05,620
So what got the bullet?
104
00:06:05,620 --> 00:06:07,823
Oh, I had a little help,
105
00:06:09,780 --> 00:06:11,334
from my friends.
106
00:06:16,780 --> 00:06:17,613
Excuse me.
107
00:06:19,260 --> 00:06:21,760
What's a girl gotta do to
get a drink around here?
108
00:06:23,570 --> 00:06:24,620
I'll be right back.
109
00:06:28,370 --> 00:06:30,283
So what's with the foot?
110
00:06:31,190 --> 00:06:34,380
Oh, ah, the other bullet
grazed my pinky toe.
111
00:06:34,380 --> 00:06:35,510
I'm gonna be honest with you.
112
00:06:35,510 --> 00:06:36,350
I can walk it,
113
00:06:36,350 --> 00:06:37,460
but I'm thinking about getting a little
114
00:06:37,460 --> 00:06:39,147
sympathy fuck out of it.
115
00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:43,800
All right, soldier's medal
recipient right here folks.
116
00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:45,740
So what's next?
117
00:06:45,740 --> 00:06:47,320
Oh well, I'm definitely gonna be milking
118
00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:49,370
this heroism thing for a couple of years.
119
00:06:49,370 --> 00:06:51,330
Probably do some speaking engagements,
120
00:06:51,330 --> 00:06:52,250
live off-
121
00:06:52,250 --> 00:06:54,673
holy fuck.
122
00:06:55,523 --> 00:06:58,468
♪ I'm a high flyer. ♪
123
00:06:58,468 --> 00:07:01,198
♪ I got the right stuff. ♪
124
00:07:01,198 --> 00:07:03,598
♪ I'm the King of the heart, ♪
125
00:07:03,598 --> 00:07:07,998
♪ Got the good stuff. ♪ ♪
126
00:07:07,998 --> 00:07:08,930
My God,
127
00:07:08,930 --> 00:07:10,920
get the fuck out of the way, Laurence.
128
00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:11,753
Yeah.
129
00:07:19,970 --> 00:07:21,410
Or I buy you a drink bitch?
130
00:07:21,410 --> 00:07:22,617
Oh, please.
131
00:07:23,850 --> 00:07:24,683
That's so cool.
132
00:07:24,683 --> 00:07:27,345
Okay, do you want a drink, hun?
133
00:07:27,345 --> 00:07:28,178
Yeah.
134
00:07:28,178 --> 00:07:29,700
Yeah, okay.
135
00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:31,670
He's fucking ignoring me this whole time.
136
00:07:31,670 --> 00:07:32,820
How do I get a guy's attention?
137
00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:34,294
Flash your tits.
138
00:07:34,294 --> 00:07:35,150
What, are you new at this?
139
00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:36,484
You have a lot to work with.
140
00:07:36,484 --> 00:07:37,317
I do, I do.
141
00:07:37,317 --> 00:07:39,150
They need to come out and play a little.
142
00:07:39,150 --> 00:07:42,130
I'm not gonna second
guess that decision.
143
00:07:42,130 --> 00:07:43,081
What are you having?
144
00:07:43,081 --> 00:07:45,130
Probably a finger of whiskey,
145
00:07:45,130 --> 00:07:46,207
maybe two.
146
00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:48,938
Ooh, two baby.
147
00:07:49,771 --> 00:07:50,604
Oh, shit.
148
00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:51,437
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
149
00:07:51,437 --> 00:07:52,360
My apologies.
150
00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:54,026
Hi.
151
00:07:54,026 --> 00:07:54,859
How are you doing?
152
00:07:54,859 --> 00:07:55,743
I'm good.
153
00:07:55,743 --> 00:07:56,576
How are you?
154
00:07:56,576 --> 00:07:57,409
Pretty good.
155
00:07:57,409 --> 00:07:58,265
Rick butts.
156
00:07:59,098 --> 00:08:02,053
Hmm, oh no, what happened?
157
00:08:02,053 --> 00:08:03,790
I just got a little booboo, no big deal.
158
00:08:03,790 --> 00:08:06,990
Do you need me to take care of you?
159
00:08:06,990 --> 00:08:08,900
Yeah, I might need a
ride to the hospital.
160
00:08:08,900 --> 00:08:11,624
I'm sure I can fix something
up, if you're in pain.
161
00:08:11,624 --> 00:08:13,533
Yeah, you wanna put them sirens on?
162
00:08:13,533 --> 00:08:14,366
I do.
163
00:08:14,366 --> 00:08:15,199
We're better get there fast.
164
00:08:15,199 --> 00:08:16,381
Let's go baby.
165
00:08:19,261 --> 00:08:20,700
Oh my God,
166
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:21,900
well, this is happening.
167
00:08:23,610 --> 00:08:25,743
Hey man, I'm so sorry.
168
00:08:26,980 --> 00:08:30,110
I'm such an idiot for not
telling you about Williams.
169
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:32,200
I don't know what the heck I was thinking.
170
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:34,040
I just didn't wanna spoil the moment,
171
00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:36,030
you were having there.
- Cera, Cera.
172
00:08:36,030 --> 00:08:36,863
I get it,
173
00:08:36,863 --> 00:08:41,080
and, I accept your apology bud,
174
00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:42,589
we're a team, all right?
175
00:08:42,589 --> 00:08:44,939
I mean, you've had my
back since the beginning.
176
00:08:46,330 --> 00:08:48,933
Just no more secrets, got it?
177
00:08:50,380 --> 00:08:52,040
So we're cool?
178
00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:53,190
We'll always be cool.
179
00:08:58,270 --> 00:08:59,840
Dean's spinning game over there.
180
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:01,339
Hey my little schmuffin.
181
00:09:01,339 --> 00:09:03,226
Come here, my little tube nugget.
182
00:09:04,990 --> 00:09:06,130
Come here
183
00:09:06,130 --> 00:09:07,987
Now, you guys can finally meet.
184
00:09:07,987 --> 00:09:08,820
Yeah, that's great.
185
00:09:08,820 --> 00:09:10,810
Nathan, meet my girlfriend, Vanessa.
186
00:09:10,810 --> 00:09:12,780
Vanessa, my partner in crime, Nathan.
187
00:09:12,780 --> 00:09:15,650
Oh, Nathan, it's so
nice to finally meet you.
188
00:09:15,650 --> 00:09:16,483
Likewise.
189
00:09:16,483 --> 00:09:18,580
I've heard a lot of
amazing things about you.
190
00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:21,260
Like what?
191
00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:23,543
Oh, you know about that mole.
192
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,950
Yeah, the mole that
we had in the military.
193
00:09:26,950 --> 00:09:29,449
Yeah.
194
00:09:29,449 --> 00:09:31,850
Oh, and this is my friend Brianna.
195
00:09:31,850 --> 00:09:33,460
Hi, it's nice to meet you.
196
00:09:33,460 --> 00:09:35,980
Hi, I'm a hugger.
197
00:09:35,980 --> 00:09:38,503
Oh, yeah.
198
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:42,688
Sorry, can you give me one second?
199
00:09:42,688 --> 00:09:43,521
Uh, huh.
200
00:09:43,521 --> 00:09:44,354
Please?
201
00:09:44,354 --> 00:09:46,460
Cera, what does my dad doing here?
202
00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:48,761
Oh, you said you were busy.
203
00:09:48,761 --> 00:09:51,580
Take me out to the ballgame.
204
00:09:51,580 --> 00:09:52,413
There he is.
205
00:09:56,413 --> 00:09:58,020
Happy to see your son.
206
00:09:58,020 --> 00:10:00,140
And this must be the lovely Vanessa.
207
00:10:00,140 --> 00:10:01,230
So nice to meet you, Mr?
208
00:10:01,230 --> 00:10:02,330
Oh, get away with that, I'm a hugger.
209
00:10:02,330 --> 00:10:03,167
Call me Kim.
210
00:10:04,150 --> 00:10:06,470
Man, I can tell this
one's a keeper already.
211
00:10:06,470 --> 00:10:08,640
Stop, Mr. Kim, you're embarrassing me.
212
00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:09,950
Well done son.
213
00:10:09,950 --> 00:10:11,970
Dad, what are you doing here?
214
00:10:11,970 --> 00:10:14,253
Oh, I'm here to take my boy to ballgame.
215
00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:19,280
Can I talk to you for a second?
216
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,763
Sure, excuse us ladies.
217
00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:25,100
He really does have that mole.
218
00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:26,561
Hey, little pepper.
219
00:10:26,561 --> 00:10:28,070
Can you just not call me little pepper.
220
00:10:28,070 --> 00:10:29,770
- Oh, what gives.
- I'm an adult.
221
00:10:30,700 --> 00:10:31,850
Tell me what's wrong.
222
00:10:36,350 --> 00:10:38,630
So yeah, we arrested him,
223
00:10:38,630 --> 00:10:41,111
but I literally punched
the fight out of him.
224
00:10:41,944 --> 00:10:43,020
My God, that's crazy.
225
00:10:43,020 --> 00:10:44,420
That's what he said.
226
00:10:44,420 --> 00:10:46,003
Wow, this is joy.
227
00:10:50,330 --> 00:10:52,849
What, I got a booger
in my nose, or something?
228
00:10:53,775 --> 00:10:55,136
No, actually, shit.
229
00:10:56,330 --> 00:11:01,330
No, I was just thinking that
you're a really great guy.
230
00:11:02,660 --> 00:11:03,493
Shut up.
231
00:11:03,493 --> 00:11:04,548
You are.
232
00:11:06,239 --> 00:11:10,068
I know I already thanked
you, for the whole-
233
00:11:10,068 --> 00:11:11,497
Saving your life thing?
234
00:11:11,497 --> 00:11:12,330
Yeah.
235
00:11:12,330 --> 00:11:13,333
Yeah, no big deal.
236
00:11:14,270 --> 00:11:15,120
That old thing.
237
00:11:17,452 --> 00:11:18,369
But I just,
238
00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:25,240
I hope that you find
somebody that deserves you.
239
00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:35,303
What if I already have?
240
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:41,170
Oh, I'm just gonna,
241
00:11:41,170 --> 00:11:42,839
I need to go to the bathroom.
242
00:11:42,839 --> 00:11:46,118
Yeah, of course.
243
00:11:46,118 --> 00:11:47,110
Sorry, I'll be right back.
244
00:11:47,110 --> 00:11:49,199
Okay, yeah, okay.
245
00:11:49,199 --> 00:11:51,729
What the fuck was that Jimmy?
246
00:11:51,729 --> 00:11:52,562
You fuckin',
247
00:11:52,562 --> 00:11:54,270
you wanna fuck tonight?
248
00:11:54,270 --> 00:11:55,360
You wanna fuck, Jimmy?
249
00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:57,070
You stupid bastard.
250
00:11:57,070 --> 00:11:58,720
Just fucking roofing your drink.
251
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:00,890
Oh my God, I'm in charge of people.
252
00:12:00,890 --> 00:12:03,805
Somebody put me in
fucking charge of people.
253
00:12:04,694 --> 00:12:06,440
Do you mind if I motor boat
your tits a little bitch?
254
00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:07,560
Oh yeah, it's fine.
255
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,460
You're just in fucking charge.
256
00:12:09,460 --> 00:12:10,683
Hey bro, sorry, this-
257
00:12:11,882 --> 00:12:13,299
What's up bruh?
258
00:12:18,851 --> 00:12:19,684
Sir.
259
00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:32,273
I love you.
260
00:12:42,165 --> 00:12:43,203
Excuse me.
261
00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:44,873
What is this?
262
00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:47,418
That's Go cheese.
263
00:12:48,690 --> 00:12:50,290
No, that is not Go cheese.
264
00:12:50,290 --> 00:12:52,300
Maybe a Jarlsberg or a Buford,
265
00:12:52,300 --> 00:12:53,673
but that is not Go cheese.
266
00:12:54,930 --> 00:12:57,160
Do you have anything a little more robust?
267
00:12:57,160 --> 00:13:00,413
Maybe a Cheese Gorsky
or a Rockpool perhaps.
268
00:13:01,950 --> 00:13:04,206
I think there's some cheddar in the back.
269
00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:07,113
No.
270
00:13:13,130 --> 00:13:14,050
That was disappointing.
271
00:13:14,050 --> 00:13:15,470
You would think there'd be a little more
272
00:13:15,470 --> 00:13:16,778
cheese diversification in their diets.
273
00:13:16,778 --> 00:13:18,440
Do you wanna get out of here?
274
00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:19,630
Yes, I would like to go
275
00:13:19,630 --> 00:13:20,960
to the Charcuterie down the street.
276
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:22,800
They have wonderful-
277
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:23,633
To my place.
278
00:13:33,130 --> 00:13:34,003
Yes, my lady.
279
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:41,330
Dad, it's like you've adopted him.
280
00:13:41,330 --> 00:13:42,940
You guys have your own handshake.
281
00:13:42,940 --> 00:13:44,290
What the f-?
282
00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:46,100
What is this milking shit?
283
00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:48,410
Dad, we don't have our own handshake.
284
00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:49,867
Wait here,
285
00:13:49,867 --> 00:13:51,500
please wait here.
286
00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:53,460
But you're a man.
287
00:13:53,460 --> 00:13:57,053
And he's a good kid, but
he's just that, he's a kid.
288
00:13:59,943 --> 00:14:01,550
Mr. Lawrence I presume.
289
00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:03,110
Yes sir, you can call me Kim.
290
00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:05,440
Oh, Mr. Kim, I would
like to let you know
291
00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:07,400
that your son right here,
292
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:09,340
has the most inflamed,
293
00:14:09,340 --> 00:14:12,170
the biggest, the most reddish,
pink gorilla sized balls
294
00:14:12,170 --> 00:14:14,021
I have ever seen.
295
00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:16,490
He's never seen my balls, okay.
296
00:14:18,950 --> 00:14:20,293
What I meant to say was,
297
00:14:22,100 --> 00:14:23,980
I don't deserve this.
298
00:14:23,980 --> 00:14:25,470
It was your son's sacrifice
299
00:14:25,470 --> 00:14:27,500
and sticking his neck out for everyone,
300
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:29,080
that saved the day.
301
00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:30,880
Well, I'm just lucky
that I had another shot
302
00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:32,130
at redemption after that.
303
00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:38,003
I am truly blessed, to be in
the presence of such a hero.
304
00:14:40,660 --> 00:14:41,493
And my friend.
305
00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:45,510
Thank you.
306
00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:47,042
Thank you for that.
307
00:14:47,042 --> 00:14:48,690
Thank you very much.
308
00:14:48,690 --> 00:14:50,190
Thanks, so much.
309
00:14:52,430 --> 00:14:55,613
Hey, I'm really proud of you.
310
00:14:55,613 --> 00:14:56,853
I love you dad.
311
00:14:57,870 --> 00:14:58,920
I love you too son.
312
00:15:00,970 --> 00:15:04,570
Yeah, Vanessa's friend over there,
313
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,770
she's been eyeballing
you, this entire time.
314
00:15:10,353 --> 00:15:12,343
Fuck, She's kind of cute.
315
00:15:12,343 --> 00:15:13,880
Why you to take these?
316
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:16,200
Are you sure they're
not for your other son?
317
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:19,340
Look, you may have outgrown my lap,
318
00:15:19,340 --> 00:15:21,710
but you haven't outgrown my heart.
319
00:15:21,710 --> 00:15:23,320
That's cheesy as fuck dad.
320
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:25,270
Look I saw it on a Snapple cap, okay.
321
00:15:26,590 --> 00:15:28,390
Just go over there, she's looking at you.
322
00:15:28,390 --> 00:15:29,860
Go say hi.
323
00:15:29,860 --> 00:15:31,430
She's like,
324
00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:32,263
she's a 10.
325
00:15:32,263 --> 00:15:33,880
Yeah, I think you got a shot.
326
00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:35,810
You're pulling a solid four.
327
00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:36,960
4.5 dad.
328
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,624
Yeah, you get that from your mom's side.
329
00:15:39,457 --> 00:15:40,710
Thanks.
330
00:15:40,710 --> 00:15:42,360
You guys go have fun.
331
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:43,910
Make a little, Eurasian babies.
332
00:15:49,070 --> 00:15:51,143
Sir, sir.
333
00:15:55,170 --> 00:15:56,563
I think the tits would help.
334
00:16:03,050 --> 00:16:08,050
So, you can just switch back like that.
335
00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:09,990
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
336
00:16:09,990 --> 00:16:10,823
Pretty much.
337
00:16:10,823 --> 00:16:11,950
Okay.
338
00:16:11,950 --> 00:16:13,800
They shouldn't get so
expensive on a cop's salary, man.
339
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:14,633
I'm sure touched.
340
00:16:15,466 --> 00:16:18,070
Yeah, so I'm kind of gender fluid now.
341
00:16:18,070 --> 00:16:18,903
Fluid.
342
00:16:18,903 --> 00:16:19,736
Yeah.
343
00:16:19,736 --> 00:16:20,569
Fluid.
344
00:16:20,569 --> 00:16:21,600
I think the secondary term is
345
00:16:22,470 --> 00:16:25,130
heterosexual, cisgender male.
346
00:16:25,130 --> 00:16:26,245
- Male.
- Male.
347
00:16:26,245 --> 00:16:28,943
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
348
00:16:29,860 --> 00:16:31,743
Just kind of want it to be a Dubin tits.
349
00:16:31,743 --> 00:16:32,900
You know what I mean?
350
00:16:32,900 --> 00:16:33,840
Oh yeah.
351
00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:38,165
I can get behind that, I did.
352
00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:38,998
Yeah, thanks again.
353
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,853
So, when we used to,
354
00:16:45,950 --> 00:16:47,780
Does this mean I'm gay?
355
00:16:47,780 --> 00:16:48,613
For sure.
356
00:16:49,490 --> 00:16:50,720
Yeah.
- Some people.
357
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:53,050
Pretty gay actually.
358
00:16:53,050 --> 00:16:54,590
So you're gay?
359
00:16:54,590 --> 00:16:57,345
Oh no, I was a chick
when we fucked me, man.
360
00:16:57,345 --> 00:16:58,555
Are you kidding me?
361
00:16:58,555 --> 00:17:00,690
Oh, hey, how are you?
362
00:17:05,052 --> 00:17:09,313
Wait, are you two a thing?
363
00:17:09,313 --> 00:17:12,170
Yeah, we're going two, three months now?
364
00:17:12,170 --> 00:17:13,670
- Yeah.
- Of course.
365
00:17:13,670 --> 00:17:15,043
She's my rock.
366
00:17:18,970 --> 00:17:19,803
Yeah.
367
00:17:19,803 --> 00:17:21,940
Great, great, great.
368
00:17:21,940 --> 00:17:22,773
It's a lot of fun.
369
00:17:22,773 --> 00:17:24,330
Yeah, yeah.
370
00:17:24,330 --> 00:17:26,540
Anyways, it's nice to meet you bro.
371
00:17:26,540 --> 00:17:28,050
Cool, yeah,
372
00:17:28,050 --> 00:17:29,440
awesome, great.
373
00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:30,273
You stay up.
374
00:17:30,273 --> 00:17:31,106
I will.
375
00:17:31,106 --> 00:17:33,363
I'm gonna have difficulty.
376
00:17:33,363 --> 00:17:34,610
I'll see you at the locals?
377
00:17:34,610 --> 00:17:35,660
Of course, yeah.
378
00:17:35,660 --> 00:17:36,655
See ya.
379
00:17:36,655 --> 00:17:37,673
I'm gonna get a tattoo.
380
00:17:37,673 --> 00:17:38,760
Okay, are you sure?
381
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:39,746
I'm good.
382
00:17:39,746 --> 00:17:41,646
Have a nice day.
383
00:17:41,646 --> 00:17:43,316
You guys have a nice day.
384
00:17:43,316 --> 00:17:44,149
Thank you.
385
00:17:44,149 --> 00:17:45,851
Have a nice day.
386
00:17:45,851 --> 00:17:48,910
Oh my God, I don't even
know women with bigger tits.
387
00:17:48,910 --> 00:17:50,923
Oh, Oh, I'm a pornstar, man
388
00:17:50,923 --> 00:17:51,800
it's okay.
389
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,453
I fucking felt it on my leg.
390
00:17:53,453 --> 00:17:55,043
I knew I felt it on my leg.
391
00:17:55,043 --> 00:17:56,080
Oh my God,
392
00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:58,263
how am I ever gonna go
back to being straight?
393
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:00,320
Wanna play on my titties?
394
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:03,490
Yes, yes, yes.
395
00:18:03,490 --> 00:18:04,890
I know a good rub and tug.
396
00:18:06,030 --> 00:18:07,300
Fuck it, I'm down.
397
00:18:07,300 --> 00:18:08,193
Let's do this.
398
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:12,490
There's so much penned up aggression.
399
00:18:12,490 --> 00:18:17,303
Wait, you've always been a lady, right?
400
00:18:19,164 --> 00:18:20,663
As far as I know.
401
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:23,860
Okay, yeah that's good.
402
00:18:23,860 --> 00:18:25,513
Alright I don't care, whatever.
403
00:18:26,910 --> 00:18:27,953
Is this place Asian?
404
00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:31,160
Nihau mother fucker.
405
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,440
They still do that
crazy shit with her feet?
406
00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:34,720
That's a 100 dollars more...
407
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:36,440
I don't even care right now.
408
00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:37,273
It used to be 50,
409
00:18:37,273 --> 00:18:39,367
but I guess inflation
hits us all different.
410
00:18:39,367 --> 00:18:40,343
Sorry, honey boo boo.
411
00:18:40,343 --> 00:18:42,300
Any discounts for white boys?
412
00:18:42,300 --> 00:18:43,587
On 4th of July.
413
00:18:43,587 --> 00:18:45,687
Damnit, can't even leave a dollar short.
414
00:18:49,127 --> 00:18:54,127
♪ I'll take you there. ♪ ♪
415
00:19:14,780 --> 00:19:16,060
Well, howdy do, there?
416
00:19:16,060 --> 00:19:18,090
Looks like sea biscuit's up an item.
417
00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:20,412
Are you ready for rounds 12, 13, 14?
418
00:19:21,245 --> 00:19:22,270
I'm just kidding there soldier boy.
419
00:19:22,270 --> 00:19:23,130
But seriously,
420
00:19:23,130 --> 00:19:24,520
how do you like your eggs?
421
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:26,000
Scrambled?
422
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,140
Or sunny side up?
423
00:19:27,140 --> 00:19:28,043
And I'm Alabaster Chrome, sir.
424
00:19:31,060 --> 00:19:33,263
And crispy bacon, Alagerg.
425
00:19:50,073 --> 00:19:51,700
Live fast, die young,
426
00:19:51,700 --> 00:19:53,460
bad girls do it well.
427
00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:54,950
Live fast, die young,
428
00:19:54,950 --> 00:19:56,943
bad girls do it too best.
429
00:19:58,350 --> 00:20:00,200
I let my chain hit my chest,
430
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:01,970
when I'm banging on the dance floor.
431
00:20:01,970 --> 00:20:04,683
A chain hit my chest on the radio.
432
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,670
Darrel, how many times must I say?
433
00:20:09,670 --> 00:20:12,893
I want my bread pudding
after dinner, not before.
434
00:20:14,537 --> 00:20:15,370
As you can see,
435
00:20:15,370 --> 00:20:19,180
I have terrible bowel
movements because of dairy.
436
00:20:19,180 --> 00:20:20,800
I called the Grubhub guy,
437
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,340
he should be here in about 30 minutes.
438
00:20:23,340 --> 00:20:24,920
Please tip the boy.
439
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:28,680
Quiet, I got news for you shit lips.
440
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,120
We caught your boss.
441
00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:32,623
That is bad news.
442
00:20:34,070 --> 00:20:36,453
Bad news for you.
443
00:20:44,878 --> 00:20:45,711
For you.
444
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,738
Did you hear that Mia?
445
00:20:51,220 --> 00:20:53,038
Joe Rogan, Johnny Stamos.
446
00:20:54,390 --> 00:20:55,979
For you, Darrel.
447
00:20:55,979 --> 00:20:56,812
For you.
448
00:21:32,540 --> 00:21:33,810
Live fast, die young,
449
00:21:33,810 --> 00:21:35,853
bad girls do it the best, Mia.
450
00:21:38,460 --> 00:21:42,100
Oh Mia, I remember in the hotel lobby.
451
00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:45,270
We locked eyes and I was so stupid,
452
00:21:45,270 --> 00:21:46,913
so stupid, I didn't see.
453
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:56,520
Darrel, I need lotion and baby wipes, now.
454
00:21:58,590 --> 00:22:00,813
Joe Rogan, please don't look.
455
00:22:05,050 --> 00:22:06,400
Darrel, baby wipes, lotion.
456
00:22:19,283 --> 00:22:20,866
Breath in, splat.
29750
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