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[Announcer] There are reports of
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00:00:11,710 --> 00:00:14,223
sailors leaving their
ketchup on the table!
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00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:16,594
[Man] Leaving the mustard, Bill!
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00:00:16,594 --> 00:00:17,475
Mustard!
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00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:20,049
[Announcer] And do not leave
the mustard on the table!
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00:00:20,049 --> 00:00:22,466
(rock music)
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00:00:25,409 --> 00:00:27,992
(upbeat music)
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[Laurence] Cera, backup, now!
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00:00:40,254 --> 00:00:42,587
(screaming)
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00:00:43,529 --> 00:00:44,645
(crashes)
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00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:46,812
(panting)
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00:00:47,863 --> 00:00:49,083
Yeah!
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00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:50,673
(laughs)
14
00:00:50,673 --> 00:00:53,173
(funky music)
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00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:55,640
You must be the new Lieutenant.
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00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:57,250
Bridges, Geoffrey.
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00:00:57,250 --> 00:00:58,180
Nice to meet you, sir.
18
00:00:58,180 --> 00:00:59,370
And your name, Sergeant.
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00:00:59,370 --> 00:01:00,234
James Dean.
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00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:01,968
(laughs) Like the little sausages.
21
00:01:01,968 --> 00:01:03,428
No, that's Jimmy.
22
00:01:03,428 --> 00:01:05,928
(funky music)
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00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:12,490
I am so fucking high right now!
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00:01:12,490 --> 00:01:14,856
Come on, get on the bed!
25
00:01:14,856 --> 00:01:16,160
I don't even know how you walk around
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00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:19,210
with those big gorilla balls
hanging between your legs.
27
00:01:19,210 --> 00:01:21,750
You know I just tape them to my leg, so.
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00:01:21,750 --> 00:01:23,530
Yeah, and I help.
29
00:01:23,530 --> 00:01:24,387
All right.
30
00:01:24,387 --> 00:01:27,137
(dramatic music)
31
00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:37,679
(buzzing)
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(whirring)
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00:01:50,460 --> 00:01:52,627
(panting)
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Got you a bucket.
35
00:02:09,177 --> 00:02:11,510
(shoots)
No!
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(panting)
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00:02:24,507 --> 00:02:27,983
So, how was work?
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I love you.
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Get the fuck out.
40
00:02:49,633 --> 00:02:52,133
(funky music)
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00:03:39,990 --> 00:03:42,323
You okay over there, Cera?
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Yeah.
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00:03:44,950 --> 00:03:46,510
[Laurence] You sure?
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It's this beret.
45
00:03:48,070 --> 00:03:50,420
You could just take it off.
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00:03:50,420 --> 00:03:52,183
No, no, don't want to get in trouble.
47
00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:58,090
Are you waiting for someone?
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00:03:58,090 --> 00:04:00,990
Yeah, my dad's supposed
to come on base today.
49
00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:02,060
Awesome!
50
00:04:02,060 --> 00:04:04,080
I get to meet your dad!
51
00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:04,913
Yeah.
(cheers)
52
00:04:04,913 --> 00:04:05,746
Awesome.
53
00:04:11,290 --> 00:04:13,683
Seriously, Cera, just take it off.
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(exclaims)
55
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Cera, Cera.
56
00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:27,153
Attention!
57
00:04:38,990 --> 00:04:39,823
As you were.
58
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:41,913
Sir.
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00:04:45,870 --> 00:04:46,783
Sorry about that.
60
00:04:48,225 --> 00:04:49,058
It's okay.
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00:04:52,330 --> 00:04:53,163
Do I look good?
62
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:55,753
No.
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00:04:56,703 --> 00:04:58,340
(upbeat music)
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00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:00,440
All right, so as a part of
the counter terrorism class,
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00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:02,240
we're gonna be going over what happens
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00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:03,550
not only here but abroad.
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00:05:03,550 --> 00:05:05,120
You know, other bases in.
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00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:06,100
What's up Grayson?
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00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:09,050
Will domestic terror classes
be a part of the curriculum?
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00:05:10,775 --> 00:05:12,990
(mocking)
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00:05:12,990 --> 00:05:14,200
Who the fuck gave you your fuck.
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00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,200
I pinned you your five,
yeah, that's right.
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00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:17,330
Yes.
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00:05:17,330 --> 00:05:19,390
Domestic, here and abroad,
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00:05:19,390 --> 00:05:21,830
domestic terrorism is gonna
be included, all right.
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00:05:21,830 --> 00:05:23,160
But when that stuff pops off
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00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:24,620
it's already gonna be too
little too late, right.
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00:05:24,620 --> 00:05:27,340
Those guys are flying way under the radar,
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00:05:27,340 --> 00:05:30,593
but at least we'll be prepared
for any worst case scenario.
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00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:33,966
(screams)
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Are there any good questions?
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Laurence, take care of him.
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00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:44,273
We're trying to get out of here early.
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00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:47,200
Oh, that reminds me.
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00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:48,986
It is Child Abuse Awareness Month,
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00:05:48,986 --> 00:05:51,280
so don't go drowning kids in the bathtub
87
00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:52,430
and then bury them in the backyard
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until the end of the month.
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00:05:53,945 --> 00:05:55,690
(laughing)
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00:05:55,690 --> 00:05:58,860
Looking at you, Johnson, you dirty ginger.
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00:05:58,860 --> 00:05:59,880
The amount of freckles you've got,
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00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:02,380
that's one for each kid's
soul that he's eaten.
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00:06:02,380 --> 00:06:03,213
That's right, that's right.
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00:06:03,213 --> 00:06:04,820
And he loves those
Asian souls, Laurence.
95
00:06:04,820 --> 00:06:06,913
- I almost had him.
- [James] I heard about that.
96
00:06:06,913 --> 00:06:07,746
I know!
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00:06:07,746 --> 00:06:08,788
It was so close!
98
00:06:08,788 --> 00:06:11,163
(laughs) All right, get
out of here, let's go.
99
00:06:13,761 --> 00:06:16,178
(clattering)
100
00:06:17,255 --> 00:06:19,164
Did you draw dicks the entire time?
101
00:06:19,164 --> 00:06:20,120
All of you?
102
00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:21,370
Let me see it!
103
00:06:21,370 --> 00:06:23,270
Oh, you little fuckers.
104
00:06:23,270 --> 00:06:24,400
Oh, he took notes.
105
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:25,233
There's one.
106
00:06:25,233 --> 00:06:27,700
You can always trust in a
bald man, that's what I say.
107
00:06:28,781 --> 00:06:32,851
Did you see weirdo looking
at me through the window?
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00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:34,960
(scoffs) He was eye
fucking the shit out of you
109
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:35,840
before you caught him.
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00:06:35,840 --> 00:06:37,370
Oh my god, shut up.
111
00:06:37,370 --> 00:06:39,316
Oh yeah, he wants it.
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00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:40,933
All right.
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00:06:40,933 --> 00:06:42,526
I gotta go.
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I don't wanna burn any bridges.
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(laughing)
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00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:46,273
All right.
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Go get him, tiger.
118
00:06:47,106 --> 00:06:48,353
Yeah, yeah.
119
00:06:50,809 --> 00:06:57,618
Palm strike.
120
00:06:57,618 --> 00:06:58,500
I missed that one.
121
00:06:58,500 --> 00:07:01,774
Palm strike.
122
00:07:01,774 --> 00:07:02,999
Palm strike mother fucker.
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00:07:02,999 --> 00:07:04,310
(knocking)
124
00:07:04,310 --> 00:07:05,143
Yes?
125
00:07:05,143 --> 00:07:06,150
Sir!
126
00:07:06,150 --> 00:07:07,560
Yes.
127
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:12,210
Dean, it's so good to see you.
128
00:07:12,210 --> 00:07:13,043
Okay.
129
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,292
I saw you at the briefing,
I just wanna make sure that
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00:07:16,292 --> 00:07:18,080
everything's okay or if you wanted to
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00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:19,760
go over anything extra.
132
00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:23,210
Yes, indeed, I have a couple
things I'd like to convey.
133
00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:24,043
Yeah.
134
00:07:24,043 --> 00:07:25,362
Just, excuse me.
135
00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:26,970
Here you go.
136
00:07:26,970 --> 00:07:27,820
Thank you, sir.
137
00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:30,120
Printed that off fresh.
138
00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:32,100
Hands up, don't shoot.
139
00:07:32,100 --> 00:07:32,933
Wow.
140
00:07:35,230 --> 00:07:36,930
An active shooter demonstration?
141
00:07:36,930 --> 00:07:37,893
Yes, indeed.
142
00:07:39,890 --> 00:07:43,620
I really loved your little
speech this morning.
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And the timing just couldn't be better.
144
00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:48,980
I already scheduled this
for the end of the month
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00:07:48,980 --> 00:07:52,483
just to ensure that we
are, as you proclaimed,
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00:07:54,910 --> 00:07:57,040
prepared for the worst.
147
00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:57,873
Okay.
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00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:02,861
I understand where you're going, sir.
149
00:08:02,861 --> 00:08:04,030
Yes, thank you.
150
00:08:04,030 --> 00:08:07,040
But I've been on Port
Stewart for about 12 years
151
00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:10,790
on and off and, to be completely honest,
152
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I think an active shooter demonstration
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00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:13,763
is a little arbitrary.
154
00:08:17,300 --> 00:08:22,100
But, we could go over
leadership development
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00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:24,310
or time management skills.
156
00:08:24,310 --> 00:08:27,260
You know, some of the things
that I went over earlier today,
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in the briefing.
158
00:08:28,093 --> 00:08:28,926
Is that a white belt?
159
00:08:28,926 --> 00:08:30,240
Almost blue belt.
160
00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:31,073
Good for you.
161
00:08:32,530 --> 00:08:33,370
So, that's?
162
00:08:33,370 --> 00:08:34,470
Outstanding, Sergeant.
163
00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:37,640
So I will just schedule the
active shooter demonstration for
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00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:38,870
the end of the month, all right.
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00:08:38,870 --> 00:08:39,710
Of course.
166
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[Bridges] Thank you so much.
167
00:08:41,170 --> 00:08:42,270
You're welcome, sir.
168
00:08:44,010 --> 00:08:47,210
Oh, and before I forget,
I noticed a few of your men
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out of regs, out of regulation AR-
170
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Six 70 dash one.
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That's it.
172
00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:57,623
I even noticed one of them
had their beret on backwards.
173
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,082
I'd like to schedule a small
briefing tomorrow morning
174
00:09:02,082 --> 00:09:05,960
to go over the new policies
moving forward, okay?
175
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:06,874
Roger that, sir.
176
00:09:06,874 --> 00:09:08,260
(laughs)
177
00:09:08,260 --> 00:09:09,431
Oh, and before I forget, I have,
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00:09:09,431 --> 00:09:11,893
I have some wonderful news.
179
00:09:13,950 --> 00:09:18,000
After seeing your, let's
say bleak office, last week
180
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:22,940
I decided to put in a
special request and have your
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00:09:22,940 --> 00:09:27,120
dreary furnishings moved next to mine.
182
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,840
I think you'll quite enjoy the extra space
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00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:32,223
and we get to work more closely together.
184
00:09:34,750 --> 00:09:35,803
No hands!
185
00:09:37,736 --> 00:09:40,486
(dramatic music)
186
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,170
Oh shit Tarzan.
187
00:09:46,170 --> 00:09:47,373
What happened in here?
188
00:09:50,964 --> 00:09:51,797
Isn't this great?
189
00:09:51,797 --> 00:09:54,210
We got matching ficus's!
190
00:09:54,210 --> 00:09:56,160
Don't forget to water it.
191
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,323
Just kidding, I'll water it if you forget.
192
00:10:00,930 --> 00:10:02,263
He must be stopped.
193
00:10:06,714 --> 00:10:09,010
I don't know.
194
00:10:09,010 --> 00:10:10,433
It's pretty sus.
195
00:10:11,620 --> 00:10:12,713
Where's her face?
196
00:10:14,870 --> 00:10:17,470
In today's social climate,
she doesn't believe that
197
00:10:17,470 --> 00:10:20,100
women should be ranked
among the sizes and shapes
198
00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:22,070
and prettiness's of their face,
199
00:10:22,070 --> 00:10:24,130
so she doesn't show her face.
200
00:10:24,130 --> 00:10:25,995
She's from the future.
201
00:10:25,995 --> 00:10:27,863
She's probably a dude.
202
00:10:27,863 --> 00:10:28,696
(laughs)
203
00:10:28,696 --> 00:10:29,910
Yeah right.
204
00:10:29,910 --> 00:10:30,743
Look at this.
205
00:10:32,383 --> 00:10:33,216
Mmm?
206
00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:34,933
Hey!
207
00:10:34,933 --> 00:10:36,634
What'd I say about watching pornography?
208
00:10:36,634 --> 00:10:38,263
(laughs) I'm just kidding guys.
209
00:10:39,150 --> 00:10:40,230
Hey dad.
210
00:10:40,230 --> 00:10:41,480
Week late.
211
00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:42,313
I'm sorry, son.
212
00:10:42,313 --> 00:10:43,480
Those gangsters went out of state,
213
00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:44,780
we had to give them a chase.
214
00:10:44,780 --> 00:10:45,613
Come over here.
215
00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:49,080
You're a cop too?
216
00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:50,340
18 years this month!
217
00:10:50,340 --> 00:10:52,370
You must be my son's right hand man.
218
00:10:52,370 --> 00:10:54,350
Get out of here with that, I'm a hugger.
219
00:10:54,350 --> 00:10:56,277
Oh it is such an honor
to meet you, Mr. Laurence.
220
00:10:56,277 --> 00:10:57,820
Yeah.
221
00:10:57,820 --> 00:10:59,080
You smell like bagel bites.
222
00:10:59,080 --> 00:10:59,913
Oh, hey.
223
00:10:59,913 --> 00:11:03,460
When you put pizza on a bagel,
you can have pizza any time!
224
00:11:03,460 --> 00:11:04,360
Genius!
- Genius!
225
00:11:07,220 --> 00:11:08,330
Anyway, you can call me Kim.
226
00:11:08,330 --> 00:11:09,163
Oh.
227
00:11:09,163 --> 00:11:11,110
Is that because of your Korean descent?
228
00:11:11,110 --> 00:11:12,620
No, my dad named me Kimberly.
229
00:11:12,620 --> 00:11:14,760
It's one of those boy
named Sue sort of deals.
230
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:16,390
All right, Kimberly.
231
00:11:16,390 --> 00:11:17,223
Just Kim.
232
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:19,960
How did you even get on base?
233
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:21,950
Well, your Provost
Marshall and I go way back.
234
00:11:21,950 --> 00:11:24,560
Actually, back to basic and
I might have helped his son
235
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,250
get out of a deuce or two.
236
00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:28,183
We'll keep that between us though, right.
237
00:11:29,270 --> 00:11:30,730
Anyway, your PM gave me the green light to
238
00:11:30,730 --> 00:11:31,563
head out with you boys today,
239
00:11:31,563 --> 00:11:33,798
so we're gonna have a lot of fun.
240
00:11:33,798 --> 00:11:34,850
Awesome.
241
00:11:34,850 --> 00:11:35,735
Yeah.
242
00:11:35,735 --> 00:11:36,683
Excellent.
243
00:11:37,643 --> 00:11:38,770
(upbeat music)
244
00:11:38,770 --> 00:11:39,603
Oh yeah.
245
00:11:40,503 --> 00:11:42,753
(grunting)
246
00:11:49,470 --> 00:11:50,303
That's right.
247
00:11:50,303 --> 00:11:52,386
(laughs)
248
00:11:53,985 --> 00:11:55,068
That's right.
249
00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:01,317
Very much care about this
part of my community.
250
00:12:12,270 --> 00:12:13,879
[Telephone] Hey, this
is big old boy Butts,
251
00:12:13,879 --> 00:12:16,930
if I'm not picking up
there's a good chance
252
00:12:16,930 --> 00:12:18,790
I've been abducted by the deep state.
253
00:12:18,790 --> 00:12:22,980
I need you to call my mother
in Akron, Ohio right away.
254
00:12:22,980 --> 00:12:24,147
Please leave a message, too.
255
00:12:24,147 --> 00:12:24,980
(beeps)
256
00:12:24,980 --> 00:12:26,162
Well hey there handsome.
257
00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:29,334
Haven't heard from you in a while.
258
00:12:29,334 --> 00:12:31,740
I called you last week and I
didn't get no phone call back.
259
00:12:31,740 --> 00:12:32,920
You're gonna start making me feel like
260
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,220
you don't love me no more.
261
00:12:35,100 --> 00:12:35,933
Oh, bro.
262
00:12:35,933 --> 00:12:37,783
Some shit has been going down.
263
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:40,483
I got a lot to tell you.
264
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:50,200
But hey listen man, I miss
your big, stupid face,
265
00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:53,980
so, give me a call back.
266
00:12:53,980 --> 00:12:55,853
We'll grab some beers.
267
00:12:58,740 --> 00:13:00,640
You just call me back, all right, bye.
268
00:13:02,992 --> 00:13:05,325
(sad music)
269
00:13:09,780 --> 00:13:11,920
Let's get the bridges built, boys.
270
00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:12,753
Huh?
271
00:13:12,753 --> 00:13:14,213
Let's get a little engineering going.
272
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:18,140
I have the designs, all
I need is some teamwork.
273
00:13:18,140 --> 00:13:20,950
I just need a little
help from everyone else.
274
00:13:20,950 --> 00:13:23,323
Just everyone get on the
same page and I think.
275
00:13:24,250 --> 00:13:26,050
Get some life going here.
276
00:13:26,050 --> 00:13:27,210
How we looking, huh?
277
00:13:27,210 --> 00:13:28,960
We're looking confident.
278
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,440
Looking like someone who
inspires the confidence.
279
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:32,273
Oh yeah.
280
00:13:36,030 --> 00:13:38,500
Just one little, one little blemish
281
00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:40,600
and that could bring down the ship.
282
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:42,570
We don't want to bring
down the ship today, do we?
283
00:13:42,570 --> 00:13:43,690
No, no.
284
00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:46,660
We gotta look in control here.
285
00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:47,493
Okay.
286
00:13:48,420 --> 00:13:51,869
So, like, what's the craziest
thing you've done on duty?
287
00:13:51,869 --> 00:13:52,870
Cera, come on.
288
00:13:52,870 --> 00:13:54,250
I'll tell you what.
289
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:55,640
Last week I had quite a doozy.
290
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:58,200
We chased an attempt murder suspect.
291
00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,060
That guy was squirrley.
292
00:14:00,060 --> 00:14:01,287
I got a round in him, though.
293
00:14:01,287 --> 00:14:02,760
Cool!
294
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:04,305
Cera, that almost
happened to us recently.
295
00:14:04,305 --> 00:14:06,790
Yeah, not really.
296
00:14:06,790 --> 00:14:09,210
Luckily for us, that
little wound I put in him
297
00:14:09,210 --> 00:14:11,050
left a blood trail so long.
298
00:14:11,050 --> 00:14:13,063
And it wasn't so pretty
when we caught him.
299
00:14:15,610 --> 00:14:17,470
Oh, hey look, there's Tommy.
300
00:14:17,470 --> 00:14:18,303
Tommy!
301
00:14:18,303 --> 00:14:19,270
[Tommy] Hello!
302
00:14:19,270 --> 00:14:20,410
It's a small world.
303
00:14:20,410 --> 00:14:21,355
After all.
304
00:14:21,355 --> 00:14:22,188
(laughing)
305
00:14:22,188 --> 00:14:23,660
That's a good one, Cera.
306
00:14:23,660 --> 00:14:25,570
Oh my gosh.
307
00:14:25,570 --> 00:14:26,403
I had water.
308
00:14:26,403 --> 00:14:27,450
I had 14 waters.
309
00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:29,650
We have a half a case
in me, we're good now.
310
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:33,790
Let's make sure it looks
like we're glistening.
311
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,590
Little bit of a green tea mint here.
312
00:14:35,590 --> 00:14:37,330
Hundred percent natural, just like you.
313
00:14:37,330 --> 00:14:38,530
You're gonna be natural.
314
00:14:38,530 --> 00:14:39,760
We're gonna get in there,
315
00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:41,670
you and your little Sergeant Deanski.
316
00:14:41,670 --> 00:14:44,040
Big D, hey Dean, good to see you again.
317
00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:45,760
Oh, it's a nice looking
office you got here.
318
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,842
I wonder who set this up for you.
319
00:14:47,842 --> 00:14:49,020
(laughs)
320
00:14:49,020 --> 00:14:50,863
You're a good pal to me.
321
00:14:52,629 --> 00:14:54,460
We're gonna put that away.
322
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:55,640
We're gonna build bridges here.
323
00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:58,120
Yeah, Dean, you and me, we're a team.
324
00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:02,260
Right, you hand out the pamphlets
and I'll do the talking.
325
00:15:02,260 --> 00:15:03,200
All right.
326
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:06,486
And speaking of pamphlets,
here you go, okay.
327
00:15:06,486 --> 00:15:07,363
Let's get this.
328
00:15:08,930 --> 00:15:10,790
Oh my god, you're
sweating like a storm, man.
329
00:15:10,790 --> 00:15:11,680
It's warm in here!
330
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:12,730
Got water?
331
00:15:12,730 --> 00:15:13,563
I'm nervous.
332
00:15:13,563 --> 00:15:14,460
You're sweaty.
333
00:15:14,460 --> 00:15:15,830
You good now?
334
00:15:15,830 --> 00:15:17,690
You sure you don't want
me to sit back there?
335
00:15:17,690 --> 00:15:18,890
This is your car.
336
00:15:18,890 --> 00:15:19,723
No, no, no.
337
00:15:19,723 --> 00:15:21,600
Please, please sit up there.
338
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,750
- Okay.
- I kinda like it back here.
339
00:15:23,750 --> 00:15:25,513
Kinda feel like a bad guy.
340
00:15:26,420 --> 00:15:30,383
Last time I saw somebody
that wet was, mom's over there.
341
00:15:30,383 --> 00:15:32,049
Please.
342
00:15:33,070 --> 00:15:34,690
I used to get mom so excited.
343
00:15:34,690 --> 00:15:35,780
No, what do you mean?
344
00:15:35,780 --> 00:15:36,920
She was soaking wet.
345
00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:38,559
Dad, please.
346
00:15:38,559 --> 00:15:41,070
I remember back in the day.
347
00:15:41,070 --> 00:15:42,960
- Back in the day.
- Oh baby you want this.
348
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:43,851
You want this.
349
00:15:43,851 --> 00:15:45,729
Mom does not sound
like that. Mom does not.
350
00:15:45,729 --> 00:15:46,562
No, that was me.
351
00:15:46,562 --> 00:15:48,450
I had my accent early.
352
00:15:48,450 --> 00:15:50,330
She'd be like, give me
your little egg roll.
353
00:15:50,330 --> 00:15:51,620
Oh you want my egg roll?
354
00:15:51,620 --> 00:15:53,740
Stand by for the sweet and sour sauce.
355
00:15:53,740 --> 00:15:55,480
Oh, it was so classic.
356
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:56,520
You gotta help me out with this.
357
00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:58,690
They've denied my block leave three times.
358
00:15:58,690 --> 00:15:59,600
It seems legit.
359
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:01,060
Sorry, am I interrupting?
360
00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:02,726
No, sir. I'm just kinda
going over my block-
361
00:16:02,726 --> 00:16:04,392
Outstanding. Can I get one of you to
362
00:16:04,392 --> 00:16:06,080
hand out the literature
for today's briefing?
363
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:08,230
I will, Lieutenant.
364
00:16:08,230 --> 00:16:09,070
Oh, thank you, Patricia.
365
00:16:09,070 --> 00:16:10,000
Good initiative.
366
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:13,767
All right, rock on.
367
00:16:13,767 --> 00:16:16,720
I'm gonna fucking murder this guy.
368
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:18,610
I'll help you bury the body.
369
00:16:18,610 --> 00:16:19,570
Good initiative, Patricia.
370
00:16:19,570 --> 00:16:21,763
Oh, thank you, Sergeant.
371
00:16:21,763 --> 00:16:22,596
Rock on.
372
00:16:24,430 --> 00:16:25,740
Male, early 20's.
373
00:16:26,750 --> 00:16:28,100
Did he have any scars?
374
00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:29,250
Any tattoos?
375
00:16:29,250 --> 00:16:32,300
Hey look, I'm a keep it 100 with you.
376
00:16:32,300 --> 00:16:35,940
I was so blazed that I
don't even remember shit.
377
00:16:35,940 --> 00:16:37,006
You know what I'm saying?
378
00:16:37,006 --> 00:16:40,263
All your bullshit making
me thirsty as a bitch.
379
00:16:42,340 --> 00:16:43,270
What is that?
380
00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:44,870
This is four 20 Loco, y'all want some?
381
00:16:44,870 --> 00:16:46,887
- I can smell it from here.
- You want some?
382
00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:48,573
What?
383
00:16:48,573 --> 00:16:49,567
Let me see.
384
00:16:49,567 --> 00:16:50,400
Hold on.
385
00:16:53,372 --> 00:16:54,690
Hey, don't touch my shit!
386
00:16:54,690 --> 00:16:55,710
Hey!
387
00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:57,011
- Okay, okay.
- Hey!
388
00:16:57,011 --> 00:16:57,844
Get your hands off me.
389
00:16:57,844 --> 00:16:59,567
- We're here to help you, sir.
- Let's not drink here.
390
00:16:59,567 --> 00:17:01,649
- Can we just get
- Back to the bike.
391
00:17:01,649 --> 00:17:02,482
More information on this guy?
392
00:17:02,482 --> 00:17:03,315
Yeah.
393
00:17:03,315 --> 00:17:04,148
So your bike has been stolen.
394
00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:05,814
Stolen bike. What
does the bike look like?
395
00:17:05,814 --> 00:17:06,647
The bike.
396
00:17:06,647 --> 00:17:07,640
It was a silver.
397
00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:10,050
I think it was a Mongoose, pimp.
398
00:17:10,050 --> 00:17:11,410
Silver?
399
00:17:11,410 --> 00:17:12,243
Yeah.
400
00:17:13,180 --> 00:17:14,446
Write that down.
401
00:17:14,446 --> 00:17:16,410
Why are you looking like you
ain't never heard that color?
402
00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:18,527
Jews are partial to silver.
403
00:17:19,540 --> 00:17:21,463
What the fuck, Cera?
404
00:17:22,460 --> 00:17:23,760
Y'all gonna get my shit or what?
405
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:24,593
No, no.
406
00:17:24,593 --> 00:17:25,750
We're gonna get your shit all right.
407
00:17:25,750 --> 00:17:26,583
Yeah.
408
00:17:26,583 --> 00:17:28,872
We are going to get your shit.
409
00:17:28,872 --> 00:17:31,330
Just gotta to to a synagogue.
410
00:17:31,330 --> 00:17:34,830
Yeah, I got it at Wal Mart.
411
00:17:34,830 --> 00:17:35,800
Wal Mart?
412
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:37,430
Yeah, I stole that shit.
413
00:17:37,430 --> 00:17:38,440
You did what?
414
00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:39,340
Man, fuck y'all.
415
00:17:40,852 --> 00:17:41,975
Get down!
416
00:17:41,975 --> 00:17:42,808
I ain't do shit.
417
00:17:42,808 --> 00:17:45,895
Get out of the car!
418
00:17:45,895 --> 00:17:46,983
Give me a reason!
419
00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:48,797
Give me a fucking reason!
420
00:17:49,830 --> 00:17:50,670
Okay everyone.
421
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:51,593
Hello.
422
00:17:56,220 --> 00:17:59,293
My name is Second Lieutenant Bridges.
423
00:18:00,540 --> 00:18:01,680
There's a picture.
424
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:04,220
The word and the word again.
425
00:18:04,220 --> 00:18:05,933
This one has the full spelling.
426
00:18:07,180 --> 00:18:08,963
Geoffrey, that's my first name.
427
00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:12,510
I'd like to welcome you all to the
428
00:18:12,510 --> 00:18:15,530
first of many briefings
that I'd like to have.
429
00:18:15,530 --> 00:18:19,503
And while Sergeant Patricks
hands out the pamphlets,
430
00:18:24,330 --> 00:18:26,120
I'd like to just divert your attention
431
00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:30,887
to a little presentation that
I've put together, all right.
432
00:18:30,887 --> 00:18:32,313
Okay.
433
00:18:33,330 --> 00:18:38,330
So this is an HP,
434
00:18:38,890 --> 00:18:41,703
so it's gonna be a little
different for me today.
435
00:18:43,010 --> 00:18:44,461
No internet.
436
00:18:44,461 --> 00:18:47,420
Okay, do you know, do we have to be on the
437
00:18:47,420 --> 00:18:51,020
same network as my work
computer in my office?
438
00:18:51,020 --> 00:18:51,853
Yes sir.
439
00:18:51,853 --> 00:18:54,251
The projector and the
computer needs to be on the--
440
00:18:54,251 --> 00:18:57,570
Which network are we on in my thing?
441
00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:59,120
[Patricks] I wrote it down for you, sir.
442
00:18:59,120 --> 00:18:59,953
Right here.
443
00:18:59,953 --> 00:19:00,786
[Bridges] And then.
444
00:19:00,786 --> 00:19:02,820
[Patricks] Now we need
to connect the HDMI.
445
00:19:02,820 --> 00:19:03,653
Is it HDMI?
446
00:19:03,653 --> 00:19:04,646
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
447
00:19:04,646 --> 00:19:05,723
Perfect.
448
00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:10,580
They're asking for the wiffy password.
449
00:19:10,580 --> 00:19:12,160
[Patricks] I gave it
to you already, sir.
450
00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:13,520
You changed it.
451
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,270
[Bridges] I changed it again?
452
00:19:15,270 --> 00:19:18,283
[Patricks] Bridges, bridges, rocks.
453
00:19:20,649 --> 00:19:23,520
To the best of your ability,
can you recall what happened?
454
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:25,140
Oh yeah.
455
00:19:25,140 --> 00:19:29,853
I was walking and then I was
up in the air like, oh no.
456
00:19:30,980 --> 00:19:33,395
And then I was like, on the ground.
457
00:19:33,395 --> 00:19:35,280
A car hit you?
458
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:37,380
What was the color, the make, the model,
459
00:19:37,380 --> 00:19:40,310
the person driving it, do
you remember any of that?
460
00:19:40,310 --> 00:19:41,143
Absolutely.
461
00:19:41,143 --> 00:19:43,000
30 C.
462
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,153
Victoria's Secret.
463
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:49,573
Cera, she has a concussion, can we?
464
00:19:50,630 --> 00:19:52,630
Ma'am, we're gonna take you to hospital.
465
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:54,800
Make sure you're okay, all right?
466
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:55,633
Here you go.
467
00:19:56,670 --> 00:19:58,770
So nice.
468
00:19:58,770 --> 00:20:00,201
Should I take my bra off now?
469
00:20:00,201 --> 00:20:01,034
Oh, no.
470
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:01,867
I'm just here to help.
471
00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:03,453
No need for that, ma'am.
472
00:20:04,589 --> 00:20:08,053
You're a nice face, unlike
that Jew who ran me over.
473
00:20:10,955 --> 00:20:14,800
No.
474
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:16,740
Maybe the Jews are connected.
475
00:20:16,740 --> 00:20:17,663
Okay.
476
00:20:17,663 --> 00:20:19,513
I don't know, I mean, that I think.
477
00:20:20,410 --> 00:20:21,790
[Patricks] You have to turn it on, sir.
478
00:20:21,790 --> 00:20:23,390
[Bridges] Did I make it, okay.
479
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:28,040
This should be right
there, is what I'm saying.
480
00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:29,870
The power button might help.
481
00:20:29,870 --> 00:20:32,030
Okay, okay, something's happening.
482
00:20:32,030 --> 00:20:33,703
We're getting there people,
we're getting there.
483
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:36,690
Wait, no it's not, it's not connecting.
484
00:20:36,690 --> 00:20:39,280
It still says no internet.
485
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:40,600
You know what, it's fine, it's fine.
486
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:41,550
This is taking too.
487
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,330
We're just gonna do a
little light reading today.
488
00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:45,704
How's that sound?
489
00:20:45,704 --> 00:20:47,159
Great.
490
00:20:47,159 --> 00:20:48,400
Can I get?
491
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:49,910
All right, everyone, just please.
492
00:20:49,910 --> 00:20:52,123
Can you turn that light
off? It's super bright.
493
00:20:52,123 --> 00:20:54,503
- It is working a little bit.
- It says no internet still.
494
00:20:57,752 --> 00:21:01,053
You're gonna hold this
here until we're finished.
495
00:21:02,290 --> 00:21:04,643
I swear to god, it's still on.
496
00:21:06,690 --> 00:21:08,710
You think you did a great job, didn't you?
497
00:21:08,710 --> 00:21:10,940
We're just gonna turn it right there.
498
00:21:10,940 --> 00:21:14,373
Okay, all right, you know what,
page two, please everyone.
499
00:21:15,230 --> 00:21:17,340
And you, Corporal, what is it, Johnson,
500
00:21:17,340 --> 00:21:18,883
with the red fucking curly,
501
00:21:21,170 --> 00:21:22,670
what do you call red headed people?
502
00:21:22,670 --> 00:21:23,503
Gingers.
503
00:21:23,503 --> 00:21:24,590
You ginger!
504
00:21:24,590 --> 00:21:26,253
Just start reading please.
505
00:21:30,460 --> 00:21:33,193
Drives, drives.
506
00:21:36,050 --> 00:21:36,973
Oh, okay.
507
00:21:39,418 --> 00:21:41,835
(stuttering)
508
00:21:44,860 --> 00:21:47,960
Usually it's a lot crazier than this.
509
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:50,010
Yeah, like this one
time, we had these kids
510
00:21:50,010 --> 00:21:51,931
drinking at the dumpster
and I had to yell at them.
511
00:21:51,931 --> 00:21:52,764
Stop!
512
00:21:52,764 --> 00:21:53,597
Stop!
- Yeah.
513
00:21:53,597 --> 00:21:54,430
No, stop the car!
514
00:21:54,430 --> 00:21:55,263
That's the bike!
515
00:21:55,263 --> 00:21:56,798
Hey, get over here!
516
00:21:56,798 --> 00:21:57,917
It's a Huffy!
517
00:21:57,917 --> 00:21:59,334
It's a good bike.
518
00:22:03,444 --> 00:22:04,747
Oh shit rat dog.
519
00:22:06,730 --> 00:22:08,290
Here you go, see.
520
00:22:08,290 --> 00:22:09,460
Yep, put them on just like that.
521
00:22:09,460 --> 00:22:11,570
Here, you don't need that.
522
00:22:11,570 --> 00:22:12,920
Jesus Christ, how do you?
523
00:22:17,950 --> 00:22:19,320
Good cuff job son.
524
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:20,153
Thanks.
525
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:22,586
Get up here, dirt bag.
526
00:22:22,586 --> 00:22:25,003
(stuttering)
527
00:22:27,030 --> 00:22:28,580
Nothing even starts with a D.
528
00:22:33,221 --> 00:22:35,943
Okay.
529
00:22:38,490 --> 00:22:39,780
One of, maybe him?
530
00:22:43,576 --> 00:22:44,830
I can't!
531
00:22:44,830 --> 00:22:45,760
I cannot.
532
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:49,153
I can't sit through this for
another 30 minutes, all right.
533
00:22:51,500 --> 00:22:52,333
What?
534
00:22:57,140 --> 00:22:58,588
Big Boy Butts?
535
00:22:58,588 --> 00:23:01,320
(romantic music)
536
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:02,153
Dean?
537
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:22,767
What's with the uniform?
538
00:23:22,767 --> 00:23:24,076
Reserve, baby!
539
00:23:24,076 --> 00:23:26,326
(cheering)
540
00:23:28,010 --> 00:23:29,053
Sergeant Dean!
541
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:31,070
Sir.
542
00:23:31,070 --> 00:23:33,423
May we proceed, please?
543
00:23:34,930 --> 00:23:35,763
Hoo-rah.
544
00:23:37,210 --> 00:23:38,630
Great.
545
00:23:38,630 --> 00:23:41,750
All right, Paco, your shot at it.
546
00:23:41,750 --> 00:23:42,810
You know what, just forget it.
547
00:23:42,810 --> 00:23:44,810
'Cause it's not in fucking Spanish.
548
00:23:44,810 --> 00:23:46,520
I don't want to let you even try.
549
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:47,400
All right.
550
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:52,220
Bridges are community,
togetherness, connections, hope,
551
00:23:52,220 --> 00:23:54,470
and you know what,
they're just fun to cross.
552
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:58,510
Well, hey, I had a good time.
553
00:23:58,510 --> 00:24:00,970
I want to thank you for
taking me out today.
554
00:24:00,970 --> 00:24:02,460
Hopefully I didn't get in your way,
555
00:24:02,460 --> 00:24:06,030
and act more like the vinegar,
you guys were the honey.
556
00:24:06,030 --> 00:24:06,863
No.
557
00:24:06,863 --> 00:24:08,350
You're the honey.
558
00:24:08,350 --> 00:24:10,500
It was a honor to serve with you Mr. Kim.
559
00:24:10,500 --> 00:24:11,800
I appreciate it.
560
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:15,470
Hey, maybe after you get a break next time
561
00:24:15,470 --> 00:24:17,050
we can go out for dinner.
562
00:24:17,050 --> 00:24:18,903
Your mom, she misses you.
563
00:24:19,820 --> 00:24:22,630
Maybe we can catch a
ball game or something.
564
00:24:22,630 --> 00:24:24,010
Yeah, sounds cool.
565
00:24:24,010 --> 00:24:26,431
[Cera] Just say the
word and I am so there.
566
00:24:26,431 --> 00:24:27,470
(laughs)
567
00:24:27,470 --> 00:24:28,720
I got your number, bro.
568
00:24:30,673 --> 00:24:31,883
Okay.
569
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:36,040
Call your mom, okay?
570
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:37,753
I will.
571
00:24:37,753 --> 00:24:39,903
Hey, it was really nice meeting you.
572
00:24:39,903 --> 00:24:42,470
I want you to take care of my boy, okay?
573
00:24:42,470 --> 00:24:43,710
All right.
574
00:24:43,710 --> 00:24:44,543
See you son.
575
00:24:46,106 --> 00:24:47,123
Bye dad.
576
00:24:50,410 --> 00:24:52,830
So freaking cool.
577
00:24:52,830 --> 00:24:55,500
You know we should totally
go to a game together.
578
00:24:55,500 --> 00:24:57,460
My lady friend said she has a
579
00:24:57,460 --> 00:25:01,250
coworker who would love to meet you.
580
00:25:01,250 --> 00:25:02,890
We could double date.
581
00:25:02,890 --> 00:25:04,660
That we be so sweet!
582
00:25:04,660 --> 00:25:06,240
If our girl friends were friends.
583
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:07,073
Cera, cera, please.
584
00:25:07,073 --> 00:25:08,480
Not right now, please.
585
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:09,313
Thanks.
586
00:25:09,313 --> 00:25:10,270
Sorry man.
587
00:25:10,270 --> 00:25:11,697
All right, you're good.
588
00:25:15,420 --> 00:25:16,253
So,
589
00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:19,910
why do you like my dad so much, anyway?
590
00:25:20,970 --> 00:25:23,770
Well, aside from the fact
that he's a freaking badass,
591
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:26,933
I never had one.
592
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:29,960
A dad.
593
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:31,540
Or mom.
594
00:25:31,540 --> 00:25:33,613
My aunt raised me, Fresh Prince style.
595
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:38,283
I'd be lucky to have the
connection that you guys have.
596
00:25:40,710 --> 00:25:41,610
Thanks for that.
597
00:25:43,020 --> 00:25:45,390
You know I ain't never had a dad either.
598
00:25:45,390 --> 00:25:47,077
Or at least not a good one.
599
00:25:51,430 --> 00:25:52,263
Sorry dude.
600
00:25:54,020 --> 00:25:56,680
Vanessa sent me more photos last night.
601
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:57,570
You want to see?
602
00:25:57,570 --> 00:25:59,670
Does a one legged duck swim in a circle?
603
00:26:00,820 --> 00:26:04,173
No, what he means to say is
a bullfrog's ass water tight.
604
00:26:06,060 --> 00:26:08,240
Let's see that pussy, come on now.
605
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:09,830
Dude, just show us the pictures.
606
00:26:09,830 --> 00:26:10,723
Oh, okay.
607
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:16,713
Holy butt hole.
608
00:26:18,410 --> 00:26:20,155
The skin's so flawless.
609
00:26:20,155 --> 00:26:21,140
So tight.
610
00:26:21,140 --> 00:26:23,760
She has a seven step
miniaturization routine.
611
00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:25,260
Yep, I believe that.
612
00:26:25,260 --> 00:26:26,093
I believe that.
613
00:26:26,093 --> 00:26:26,926
Watch.
614
00:26:32,900 --> 00:26:34,393
That's a good bitch.
615
00:26:37,290 --> 00:26:40,680
Okay, walls, they drive people apart.
616
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,533
How the fuck can you
guys stand this ass clown?
617
00:26:44,500 --> 00:26:45,333
We can't.
618
00:26:46,350 --> 00:26:50,250
I was just about to shoot him,
but then you walked in, so.
619
00:26:50,250 --> 00:26:51,850
Thank you.
620
00:26:51,850 --> 00:26:55,150
Yeah, well, I'm about to do it myself.
621
00:26:55,150 --> 00:27:00,150
[Bridges] It's road head
you, it was ginger, all right.
622
00:27:00,534 --> 00:27:03,907
Dude, I can't believe
I'm about to say this,
623
00:27:03,907 --> 00:27:07,353
but I am so happy that you came back.
624
00:27:08,452 --> 00:27:10,952
(funky music)
625
00:27:17,379 --> 00:27:22,119
♪ Somewhere on the scene ♪
626
00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:26,762
♪ It got a little longer so it seems ♪
627
00:27:26,762 --> 00:27:30,913
♪ I burned out so to speak ♪
628
00:27:30,913 --> 00:27:35,151
♪ Now come a little closer ♪
629
00:27:35,151 --> 00:27:39,576
♪ I feel a little lie in the lie track ♪
630
00:27:39,576 --> 00:27:43,905
♪ I felt a bit of bad but I came back ♪
631
00:27:43,905 --> 00:27:48,237
♪ There's still a little
light in the light crack ♪
632
00:27:48,237 --> 00:27:49,603
♪ Still a bit of good ♪
633
00:27:49,603 --> 00:27:52,873
♪ So good ♪
634
00:27:52,873 --> 00:27:56,706
♪ And I know just what to say ♪
41777
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