Original subtitles

I'd like to welcome you to the beginning of our vacation.

Introducing Alex, the life and soul of the party. I'm not in the mood.

What's the matter, bro? You still feeling dizzy? I'm not in the mood.

You think you're going to hurl again?

I'm going to knock that camera out of your hand.

Okay, okay, okay.

And I'd like to present to you my two amigos from Madrid. Let's say hello to

friends. What's up, bitches?

Would you like to say anything to your mothers?

Oh, that we're a pair of... And we're going to fuck every guy that comes along

tonight. And all the guys that come our way.

Oh, everyone that comes along.

Like this.

Anna, can you change the channel?

We have no other options.

They're all bad.

There's nothing else to listen to and that's that.

What's with this map? I can't understand anything.

I haven't seen any place to eat. It's crazy.

Well, I don't see anything.

All closed.

Hola. Hello?

Hello?

Is anybody in here?

Come in.

What? Hey.

Bandi Jawas.

Kaputsala. Oh, I'm sorry. We don't speak Mallorcan.

Ah, sores tanqueros.

You should have told me. I would have spoke English.

So, what's up?

Yeah, could I get some of those cookies from Inca?

And, uh, three gallons of water?

Anything else?

Yeah, um, do you know the way to the main highway?

We're looking for a place called, uh, Kalajoya?

Kalajoya? Ah, Kalajoya.

Kalajoya.

Yes, let's go back up this main route here.

Oh, so bad.

Oh, my God. That's gross.

Meat's supposed to be cooked.

Yeah, but I think it's seasoned with spices so that it won't go bad.

What? So what? It's still pork.

Yeah, but it's good.

Oh, come on. Go vegetarian already.

Well, I like it.

Oh, I have to go to the bathroom. So I'm going to go right here. Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Where's the bathroom?

Yes, of course.

Go to the rear entrance. It's right back there. You won't miss it, I'm sure.

Thank you.

Uh, water.

Yeah. Yeah, please.

Aw, damn it.

No more jugs left here. I'll have to check back in the warehouse.

Just give me a minute.

Hello?

Okay, all right.

Let's get the fuck out of here.

Let's go. Okay, take it easy.

All right.

Here's the water. How much do I owe?

Six dollars.

Well, I hope my directions were helpful.

Oh, yes. Thanks very much.

Okay.

Would you guys like some dried meats?

Very good. No, we're good. We have all the time. Let's go. I'll make you a

I said no!

I think we're doing fine. Just follow the road and I'm sure we'll find a

soon. All right.

Okay, it was not a good idea to take that shortcut.

But on top of that, we're not clear about what the map said.

Seriously? Stop busting my werewolves. I've already been driving a long time

none of you can drive, so stop it. And that's that.

Wait, wait, wait, calm down.

This is what we're going to have to do here. We're going to pull over and camp

out. By the time we wake up in the morning and hit the road tomorrow, we'll

cool, calm, and collected.

See? Nothing good at all has happened today.

Babe, take it easy.

Maybe we camp tonight and head to the coast tomorrow.

Hey, I love you.

Danny, better hope those coals are badass. I'm telling you.

Are you guys okay?

Man, what is that out there?

Is everything alright? You okay? You okay back there? What are you doing? Why

did you stop like that? Are you trying to kill us? Paul, look over there.

There's a guy in the middle of the road.

It was a close call. I almost ran him over. Really?

Mother of Christ. Not what I need to happen.

Alright, alright, alright.

How about we go see if he moves any?

No, man.

I don't know.

Maybe he is dead.

Okay, okay, okay, okay. Calm down.

Okay, now, this is what I think.

I'm going to go over there, and I'm going to go check to see if he's all

And if he's not breathing, we'll call the authorities.

How are we going to do that if we can't use our cell phones out here? Are you

kidding me now? I'm going to go outside.

Sir? You okay?

Sir?

You alright?

Uh, sir?

Oh,

fuck!

He's alive!

Come over here. Help me.

What did we do?

Maybe he passed out because he had a heat stroke.

We need to take him to the nearest hospital right away.

No hospital.

There's nothing around here. We don't have any cell phone reception.

What do we do?

If it's not any trouble, would you take me to my house?

Okay. Yeah, of course.

Get him in the car. Come on. Get him in the car. Come on.

Easy, easy, easy.

I got you. Ana, Ana, get the door. Be careful, be careful.

Slowly.

There you go.

All right.

There you go.

All right.

Come on, hurry up. All right, let's go.

Oh, man, the pain.

Over at the end of the road there is a mill.

And then to the right, in my father's house. Yeah, I think I see it up there.

What happened to you on the road back there? Looks like you fell on your ass.

I don't know. It was pretty weird.

I was on the road.

It was pretty hot. I don't know.

I must have collapsed.

I can't remember a thing.

Well, luckily, we were going by. Because otherwise, you'd still be laying there.

Nobody drove by us all day.

Thanks for riding.

Of course. Hey, by the way, what's your name?

Cisco. Cisco Serra.

Well, nice to meet you, Cisco. I'm Paola, Alex, Danny, and Anna.

What's up?

So, you're not from here, are you?

No, we're from Madrid. We're on vacation on the island.

I'm gonna see if anyone's here. Okay.

How you feeling?

Better? Much better.

Polly, grab his arm.

Thank you. Watch out.

Okay.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hey.

Oh, hey.

What's going on here?

Please, we found a man on the road. He said he lived here.

Where's he at? He's in the car. Want to help us? Thanks.

He lived with your father?

See, my father and my son... Dad!

What happened to you?

I don't know.

I just fell down. Well, I'm glad you're okay.

Well, I guess that's it.

Oh, my God, no.

I'm so sorry, guys.

My dad's kind of hopeless right now, and he wasn't supposed to be out alone, and

he always forgets his medications.

I hope it wasn't too much trouble for you guys. No, not at all. It's okay.

Well, how about we invite you to dinner, and you can stay for the evening?

No, don't worry about it. We got a tent. We're going camping. We got everything

we need. We got it all figured out. We appreciate it, though. No worries.

Be safe.

All right? Thank you.

See you later. Bye.

Sure. Yeah, uh...

Could you tell me how to get back to the main road?

Yeah, I can get you there fast. Now, you go down to where you came from, about

seven kilometers.

You're going to make a right, and then you'll see the signs right there.

Perfect. Thanks. I appreciate it. Have a nice day.

See you later.

Bye.

Oh, great. Now what?

Oh, fuck, man. Let's drive around. Let's get the fuck out of here. Well, how am

I supposed to drive around there with those stones and thorns? Do you want to

get a flat tire?

Get out and see if there's anyone in there.

Oh, hell.

What a day.

What the

fuck is that?

Tracy, stay calm.

What are you doing? Alex, no.

This is what we're going to do. We're going to head back. Oh, my God. We're

going to head back over to Cisco's.

Hey, they might have a phone. Then we can call the authorities, okay? Oh, my

God. Danny, can you tell me how we're going to get out of the car? Paula,

everything's going to be all right, all right? You just got to listen to me, all

right? Everything's going to be okay, all right?

Settle down.

Settle down, everyone.

Calm down.

We're going to figure this out.

We're going to head back to Cisco's house, okay?

We're going to go on the count of three.

One.

right now. We'll find him.

You got a dirty mouth.

You are a little pig, huh?

Where's Alex? He better be okay.

What are you going to do, stupid blonde?

Oh, you think you can threaten me?

Oh, no, that's not how this is going to work right now. We're the ones calling

the shots here.

You fucking cunt.

Go find Grandpa, Tomio.

Time for him to see the merchandise.

a thing anymore.

Calm down, Paula.

He was your boyfriend, right?

I don't think he's going to come around again, so you're not in a relationship

anymore, huh?

Motherfucker! Motherfucker! Why did you do this to us?

Why are you doing this?

Cisco, Cisco, seriously, if you satisfy, we won't say anything about what

happened here.

Surely this was a mistake. You thought we were some other people.

Please, if we don't want any trouble, just let us go and we won't tell anyone.

Oh, you're ready to negotiate, huh?

So soon?

It usually takes people a day or two. What do you want from us?

Money?

We've got about 2 ,000 euros between us. It's all yours.

Don't you think if we wanted the money, we would have taken it already?

You don't understand anything, do you?

If I want something, I take it.

And now, I want this.

Nice elections, huh?

Where did you happen to get these?

Madrid or something like that.

Sir, we didn't do anything.

I swear if you let us go, we won't say a word. Did I ask you anything?

Fucking foreigner.

Look, I don't know what you're up to, but it's illegal.

You can't keep us here, okay? It's a crime.

Right here.

I am the law, and here you do whatever it is I tell you to do. Is that clear?

What do you want from us, you piece of shit?

An explanation?

That's not even worth it.

Sir, please let us go.

I'm sure that there's some way we can work this whole thing out. If you want

to leave your land, we'll leave your land and we'll get it out of your hair

good. I'm serious.

Surely we can settle this as civilized people.

If either one of you speak again, I'll cut your tongue right out. Are we clear?

You can't do this to us.

Fucking goddamn foreigners.

You're here upsetting everything and you have no right to do what you do.

Because of this war.

We have won this war.

Fuck them.

Let's go.

Tell Tito to feed them.

No problem.

Don't take too long.

No, Papa.

Hey, you better put me down. I said put me down.

Where am I?

Cut me loose now.

You better do it right now.

Let me down.

What are you going to do with that?

What do you want to do with me?

Help!

Sir, please let me go.

You sick fuck, you better just let me down. You better let me down now.

Please,

just let me go.

What's that?

What is that?

Please, what are you doing?

I'll do anything you ask me to.

Please, stop.

Please, what do you want from me?

Please, I'm begging you.

No, please, what do you want from me?

Please, put those down.

What are you going to do to me?

I said, what are you going to do to me?

No, please, what are you doing?

Think I'm going to be sick.

Everything's going to be okay.

No, we're going to die.

No.

Paula, give me your hand. Give me your hand!

I see you woke up sleeping, beauty.

Maybe I crossed the line when I hit you so hard.

You... Hey, what did you do to us?

Who do you think you are?

If you're into the movie, tough shit.

Well... It looks like you have a boyfriend again.

What a shame.

Now he'll have to see it.

Shut up or I'll pump you for a medal.

Please, let us go. Don't hurt us. Let us go, please.

Now it's just thinking the same thing that you are.

Let's make a deal.

What kind of deal?

This is something I like to do with all the girls I like, you know? Oh, no.

You'd be ashamed to spoil such a beautiful thing.

Look, eh?

You have to do me a little favor with your little mouth, you know, eh? Oh, no.

And then I'll let you go. I'm your friend. Paolo, don't believe him. He's

to you. Shut your mouth.

You speak again, and I will blow your brains out. My God, okay.

I will. Just please, just let him go, okay? Please.

Sorry, but no.

This offer is good for only one person.

Paula, get me out of here. Come on, get me out of here, please, Paula.

I'm really sorry.

Danny, you have to calm down.

Tell me what the fuck you do.

You're not worth a shit. You're a fucking coward. You hear me? You're a

coward.

You don't have the balls to fight me. Hey!

When I get out of here, I'm going to bite off that goddamn face of yours. I

promise you that. You hear me, bastard?

Now you just piss me off.

Do you think you're tough?

Do you think you can beat me?

I can beat you anytime, fucker.

This guy really has some balls.

Tito, get him out.

No.

Hey, get away from me, you bastard. Hey!

Let's see what you got.

Come on now.

You want to fight me?

Is that all you got for me?

See if you're a real hero.

You wouldn't have allowed me to kill your girlfriend.

My girl.

but this.

You don't have anything to say now?

You wanted to kill me, huh?

No, no, no, please don't!

What are you looking at?

Humor the old man, or I'll cut your fucking tits off, you got me?

Look, what did I say about wearing that mask in the house? I've told you a

thousand times, stop wearing that fucking thing in the house.

You have to forgive him.

He's a little not so right in the head, believe me.

You must be hungry.

Go on.

Eat. All of this you see here is typically Mallorcan product, okay?

The best in Mallorca. Come on, have some.

Have some, woman. Don't be shy.

You don't like anything Mallorcan?

You're disappointing me.

Come on, woman. Eat. Have some.

All I want to do is have dinner and get to know you better.

Lookie here. We have fresh -baked empanadas.

Honey, come on.

Nothing.

My family suffered through starvation.

I know what it's like to starve.

The first years of the war.

Fucking Nazi assholes.

Those bastards came over here and made off with everything there was.

Even the food.

They killed our pigs and ate them.

In this town, people didn't starve because of my father and my grandfather.

Another brave man saved all of us from dying of starvation.

But this war, this war, we've already won. We've already won this war.

Franco! Franco hasn't made a move in months, and I'm telling you the truth.

I don't give an ounce of bullshit about you.

You're here because I want my grandson Tomeo to pop his cherry with you.

Yes, Tomeo.

He's a good -looking boy. Look at him. Look at him. Get up, Tomeo.

Come here. Come here.

Isn't he handsome?

The thing is, he's a bit shy with women. Not that he's shy, but he doesn't know

how to ask for it.

I'm asking for him. You understand this? Then you go upstairs.

Okay, Tomeo. What's the matter? Where are you going?

You'll enjoy it. He's got a really nice set of huevos.

Yes, he does.

Don't you?

Listen to me, you understand?

Don't you mess this up. Your father was a pansy when it came to this. I want you

to go straight into her.

Straight into her.

Don't be a man, that's my boy.

Motherfucker.

Come here.

Tell Tito to come.

bother me anymore.

You fucking whore! You fucking bitch!

Thank you.

Okay.

Are you going to need something else, Father?

Well,

good night.

Stick it in your neck.

You're gonna threaten a poor old man who can't walk?

Shut up.

What the fuck?

I keep running more.

What are you going to do to me?

Huh?

What are you going to do to me, you fuck?

Thank you.

We love you. We love you.

Thank you.

Stop! Please!

Please!