Original subtitles

[Music]

at the end of the rainbow there's

happiness and to find it how often I've

tried but my life is a race just a wild

goose chase and my dreams have all been

dinner

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failure

what can the reason be I wonder if the

world to play

I wonder if it could be me

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always chasing

Ching

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my sings are just alike

Oh

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oh I'm alive thanks for the fun time hot

stuff

yeah yeah listen it's discrete you hear

me I can't let it get out I'm offering

my services to randos on the street it

was a quick cash crack got it whatever

you think harlot ouch Oh such an insult

let me know when you come up with

something creative to call me you sack

up early package horseshit tell the

missus I said hi

she's not coming back

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hey your drag show oh my god my drugs

damn it

those are the cowardly sinners they're

not in

territorial co-decision the power of my

machines are running no other demon can

compare to the like survived gee that

was pretty swell boss you really showed

that war I liked when you shot them with

your ring I wish he'd shoot me with his

Raygun

at this rate I was seized control of the

entire website of the pentagram by day's

end and nothing not a single beast in

this infernal of suffering will be able

to take back this empire from my

constrictive grass here will be mine and

everybody will know the name of service

pardon who said that

what did you just say to me you fried

chicken fetuses wake up

that was a dose mr. bossman

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you looking for a flight old man why

don't you get that to your toy [ __ ]

off my turf before ice

oh you want to go missing well I'm happy

to apprise

good afternoon I'm Katie killjoy and I'm

Tom trench okay outside a pentagram city

today is the turf war is raging on the

west side between notable kingpins

Serpentis and self-proclaimed

spunky powerhouse cherry bomb that's

right Tom after the recent extermination

many areas are now up for grabs demons

all over hell are already duking it out

to gain new territory that was do you

see there really be going it looks like

they're fighting tooth and nail for that

hot spot and I'm sure like to nail her

jackass Tom or should I say no don't up

next we have an exclusive interview

which is daughter of hell's own head

honcho who's here to discuss her

brand-new passion project actor prick a

little okay you remember what to say yes

let's do this just listen and I'll map

it to you come on Maggie I know what to

say I just feel like we need to I don't

know make things sound more exciting

sing a song about it

you knew I was gonna say this because I

know you but please don't sing this is

serious well you know I'm expressing

myself and Michael's through song but

life isn't a musical hon fine but I have

these other ideas of what to say the

highlighted bits are the best board it's

all highlighted is this a drawing yes

that's the happy everyone's smiling and

happy in heaven I don't think it's that

simple

just please follow the talking points we

went over and do not sing okay fine

all just half the results of my

impeccable improv skills hey I'm charlie

katie killjoy I'd say it's a pleasure to

meet me but that would be a lie you can

put that away

I don't touch the gays I have standards

for you look my time is money so I'll

keep this short you're not here because

we wanted you here

you're here because Geoffrey couldn't

make it for his cannibal cooking segment

you might be some royal bigshot but that

doesn't mean [ __ ] to me I'm too rich and

too influential to give up line [ __ ]

about what some Chuck's wearing demon

princess wants to advertise don't get

cute with me honey or I will [ __ ]

Charlie whatever that was about this new

passion project you've been insistently

pestered a news station about well as

most of you know I was born here in hell

and growing up I always tried to see the

good in everything around me hell is my

home and you are my people we we just

went through another extermination we

lost so many souls and it breaks my

heart to see my people being slaughtered

every year and no one is even given a

chance I can't stand idly by while the

place I live is subjected to such

violence so I've been thinking is that

there a more humane way to endure

overpopulation here in hell perhaps we

can create in

- 'native way to change souls through

Redemption well I think yes so that's

what this project aims to achieve ladies

and gentlemen I'm opening the first of

its kind a hotel that rehabilitate

sinners you know because hotels are for

people passing through look every single

one of you has something good deep down

inside I know you do baby I'm not

getting through to you oh no I have a

dream I'm here to tell

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Wow

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and no more smiles just eat chitlins and

con candy

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Wow experiment even works you want

people to be good just pretty good well

we have a paid trip already who believes

in our cause and he's shown incredible

progress oh and who might that be

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angel dust the porn star you [ __ ]

mutt Tom

in any case that's not even an

accomplishment I'm sure you can get that

hooker to do anything with enough total

sugar in Luke I beg to differ

he's been behaved clean and out of

trouble for two weeks now breaking news

we are receiving word that a new player

has entered the ongoing turf war let's

go to the live feed it looks like the

one who just joined the battle is none

other than a [ __ ] an actor angel dust

a juicy coincidence you must feels

really stupid right now

look at this well it sure looks like

your little project is dead on arrival

tell us how does it feel to be such a

total failure

how does it feel that I got your pet

[ __ ]

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anyway I thought you up and died or some

[ __ ] I wish if it's dated this crappy

hotel on the other side of town some

broads are let me stay rent-free if I

play nice crazy [ __ ] and clear for to

wait well sorta clean just clean as you

can

[ __ ] loader Bolivian watching your

[ __ ] have no class in war the side

remember it is the side with the most

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speaking a style is your hat like alive

or something

oh well that's none of your goddamn

business now is it would that make your

hat the top and you the bottom

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I'm going to blow you to bits

kinky I'm not like that not so cocky now

are we you know you really got a watch

what comes out of your mouth

I've been making these sex jokes the

whole and it's obvious you ain't

catching on I mean it's just don't think

you're gonna get in a lot of trouble for

this little guy cause you haven't

changed you know you're my favorite guy

to party with you'll know it sugar tits

you ready to finish this

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[Applause]

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[Applause]

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what what what are you coming I owed my

girl buddy a solid isn't that a

redeeming quality helping friends with

staff not with turf wars that results in

territorial genocide you win some you

lose a few hundred it wasn't that bad

anyway

come on I had to my credibility was on

the line I mean what kind of reputation

would I have if people found out I was

trying to go clean it just throws out my

entire persona your credibility what

about the hotels your little slight made

us look like a [ __ ] joke no no no

babe jokes are funny I made you look

pathetic

like an orphan no arms or legs with

progeria right now I'm bummed thinking

about it this thing of any liquor can

you please just try to take this

seriously fine I'll try just don't get

your taco in a twist baby was that you

trying to be sexist or racist whatever

pisses you off more is there seriously

no liquor in here I'm gonna kill him

dule clicks wait what that big old dad

who are exactly do I go double hell

sorry you're stuck with me [ __ ] get

used to it buddy listen

who cares if some jagoff Scott hey most

of them are ugly freaks look around got

a bunch of [ __ ] Harlequin babies now

you're wanting to talk Hey

this body is flawless everyone wants

some of me and I got the creepy fan

letters to prove it that was really

uncool you know angel uncool after that

train wreck there is no way anyone is

gonna want to stay at the hotel all

thanks to you and your selfish [ __ ]

does that mean I don't have a free room

anymore

ah shucks

hey come on we don't know if things are

over yet

try to relax baggie it'll be okay it's

probably a good idea to get some actual

food in this place you know to feed all

the wayward Souls you got in here

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hey mom I know I keep calling and you

must be busy

really busy but the interview didn't go

well and I don't know if I'm going to

make a difference I don't know what I'm

doing I could really use some advice mom

I I think dad was right about me anyway

I'll stop talking before this gets long

love you bye

[Music]

hey Maggie why radio demon is at the

door

what Oh what should I do

well don't let him in

may I speak now you may tell us a

pleasure to be meeting you sweetheart

I'd a pleasure

excuse my sudden visit but I saw your

Fiasco on a picture show and I just

couldn't resist water performance why I

haven't been invited attain to the stock

market crash of 1929 so many orphans

right there I know your game I'm not

gonna let you hurt anyone here you

pompous cheesy ridiculous thing you're

trying to do please hotel I want to help

you run it why does anyone do anything

Cher bottom-5 lacked inspiration for

decades my work became Montaigne [ __ ]

focus does getting into a fistfight with

a reporter count is entertainment it's

the purest guy my dear after all the

world is a stage and the stage is a

world of entertainment so does this mean

that you think it's possible to

rehabilitate a demon that's all working

on cents Redemption oh the non-existent

humanity no no no no I don't think

there's anything left that could save

such loathsome sinner

the chance given was the life they live

before the punishment is this there is

no I'm doing what is done why do you

want to help me if you don't believe in

my cause considered an investment in

ongoing entertainment for myself I want

to watch the scum of the world struggle

to climb up the hill of betterment only

to repeatedly trip and tumble down to

the fiery pit of failure yes indeedy

I see big things coming our way

so what's the deal with smiles over

there wait you've never heard a thing

before you've been here longer than me

the radio demon one of the most powerful

beings hell has ever seen not big on

politics the decades ago Aleister

manifested he held seemingly overnight

he began to topple overlords who had

been dominant for centuries that kind of

raw power had never been hardest by a

mortal soul before

he broadcast his carnage all throughout

hell

just so everyone could witness his

ability

sinners started conjure the radio deal

as lazy as that is many have speculated

what unimaginable force enabled him to

rival our world's most ancient and

destructive evils

one thing's for sure he's an

unpredictable source of danger a wicked

spirit of mystery and a violent monster

of chaos the likes of which we can't

risk getting involved with unless we

embraced

he looks like a strawberry pimp well I

don't trust him he'll be fed do you

trust any man any men men Charlie listen

to me you can't believe this creep he

isn't just a happy face he's a deal

maker pure evil

he can't be redeemed and is most likely

looking for a way to destroy everything

we're trying to do I we don't know that

look I know he's bad and I know he

probably doesn't want to change but the

whole point of this is to give people a

chance I'm Duffy things will be better

how can I turn someone away

I can't it goes against everything I'm

trying to do everything I believe in

just trust me

I can take care of myself charlie

whatever you do do not make a deal with

him don't worry I picked up one thing

from my dad

you don't take [ __ ] from other demons

okay so now you're sketchy as [ __ ] and

you clearly see what I'm trying to do

here is a joke but I don't I think

everyone deserves a chance to prove they

can be better so I'm taking your offer

to help on the condition that there be

no trickster booty strings attached so

it's a deal

no checking no deals DYI hmm as princess

of hell and heir to the throne daya dear

by order that you help with this hotel

for as long as you desire

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sound fair huh fair enough

cool beans smile my dear you know you're

never fully dressed without one so where

is your hotel staff you're going to need

more than that and what can you do my

effeminate fellow I can suck your dick

ha

no you're lost well this just once - I

suppose I can cash in a few favors to

liven things up

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this little darling is nippy it's been a

while since we do fancy

why are your women sorry that's rude

ladies touch which is weird because

you're human we boys

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Oh what the [ __ ] is this you Oh Oscar my

good friend glad you to make it don't

you husker me you son of a [ __ ] I was

about to win the whole damn pot good to

see you too

what the hell do you want with me this

time my friend I am doing some charity

work so I took it upon myself to

volunteer your services I hope that's

okay

are you [ __ ] me no I don't think so

you thought it would be some kind of big

[ __ ] riot just to pull me out of

nowhere you think I'm some kind of

[ __ ] clown maybe ain't no [ __ ]

charity job well I figured you would be

the perfect face to man the front desk

of this fine establishment with your

charming smile and welcoming energy this

job was made for you don't worry my

friend I can make this more welcoming

what you think you can fire me with a

wink and some cheap booze or you Stan

hey hey hey no no bar no alcohol this is

supposed to be a place that describes us

in some kind of now brothel

shut up we are keeping this only have

you watch me oh my gosh welcome to the

hotel you are going to hear I lost the

ability to love years ago so what do you

think it's okay this is going to be very

entertaining

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what the hell Charmian damn it Bell now

let's cancel these burning fools a

placement well take the boys

sign of every demon is a must come up

now with

be simple tense improper sound they'll

spend a little time down at the husband

well well well look who it is harboring

the Strymon freak we meet yet again

Aleister do I know you

oh yes you do

and this time I have the element of

surprise

well I'm starved who wants some

jambalaya my mother once showed me a

wonderful recipe for jambalaya

in fact in nearly killed her ha ha ha

you could say that kick was right about

real changes down here the game is set

now stay tuned

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now will you shoot me with your Raygun