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All language subtitles for Watch 2001- A Space Travesty (2000) - Free Movies - Tubi

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,542 --> 00:00:02,419 [uplifting music] 2 00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:16,349 [enigmatic music] 3 00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:24,607 [ethereal chiming] 4 00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:27,819 [static] 5 00:00:27,944 --> 00:00:30,238 [dramatic music] 6 00:00:44,252 --> 00:00:46,463 [whimsical music] 7 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:57,348 [narrator] It began as a singularity, 8 00:00:57,474 --> 00:01:03,063 the entire universe compressed into a space the size of a proton. 9 00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:06,816 Then the Big Bang blew it apart! 10 00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:08,693 [explosion] 11 00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:12,530 -[whooshing] -Matter converted from energy 12 00:01:12,655 --> 00:01:16,701 swirled and compressed itself into stars. 13 00:01:16,826 --> 00:01:19,120 Red giants 14 00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:22,165 and tiny white dwarfs. 15 00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:24,292 [dramatic, whimsical music] 16 00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:27,003 Stars congealed into galaxies, 17 00:01:27,128 --> 00:01:30,840 massive nebula, and timeless spiral clusters, 18 00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:34,511 spinning faster and faster into the endless void. 19 00:01:34,677 --> 00:01:36,846 [sizzling] 20 00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:42,769 -Black holes arose, swallowing matter. -Ho, ho, ho, ho-- Oh! 21 00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:46,856 Constellations filled the night sky. 22 00:01:47,023 --> 00:01:48,191 Libra. 23 00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:49,859 [chiming] 24 00:01:49,984 --> 00:01:51,444 Sagittarius. 25 00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:55,198 Stifficus. 26 00:01:55,865 --> 00:01:56,991 [whooshing] 27 00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:57,992 [rumbling] 28 00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,702 Planets took form. 29 00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:04,290 -[gentle classical music] -Moons arose. 30 00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:09,045 -Atoms formed molecules. -[beeping] 31 00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:12,549 -Then molecules formed life... -[dramatic music continues] 32 00:02:12,715 --> 00:02:15,426 ...throughout the universe, 33 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:20,098 alien creatures, hideous in form. 34 00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:22,475 [music increases] 35 00:02:27,063 --> 00:02:29,649 -The Earth took form. -[monkey speaks gibberish] 36 00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:30,733 [shrieks] 37 00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:33,403 Then God appeared 38 00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:36,614 and God's voice was heard. 39 00:02:37,365 --> 00:02:39,325 [God] Shut up, you stupid monkey. 40 00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:40,952 -[shrieking stops abruptly] -[squelching] 41 00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:42,662 [wind blowing] 42 00:02:42,787 --> 00:02:46,833 [narrator] And then... a single-celled organism 43 00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:48,751 evolved on Earth 44 00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:54,174 into the highest form of intellect known to God... 45 00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:56,426 ...man! 46 00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:58,261 [cooing] 47 00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:03,808 [Dix] It was one of those days you never forget. 48 00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:07,228 I'd arrested Osmond Bin Laden at a Lakers-Knicks game. 49 00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:08,646 Now I was back in DC 50 00:03:08,771 --> 00:03:11,900 on the QT making my way ASAP to HQ 51 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,903 -when I heard the APB. -[woman on radio] All available units 52 00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,613 to Big Joe's. Hostage situation. 53 00:03:16,779 --> 00:03:18,198 -Unknown number of armed terrorists. -[siren wailing] 54 00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:19,616 [Dix] The Washington PD needed 55 00:03:19,782 --> 00:03:21,743 my expert negotiating skills, 56 00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:24,078 perfected by years of volunteer service 57 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,705 with the pet rescue division. 58 00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:28,458 Coaxing cats out of trees and gerbils out of holes 59 00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,293 made you smart about a lot of things. 60 00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:32,045 [man 1 on megaphone] This is the Washington police force. 61 00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:33,546 There is no way out. 62 00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:36,674 You have five minutes to give yourselves up 63 00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:38,218 and counting! 64 00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:39,469 You're surrounded! 65 00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:41,471 Throw down your arms now! 66 00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:43,306 -[glass shattering] -[clattering] 67 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:45,767 [indistinct chatter] 68 00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:48,102 [whimsical, tense music] 69 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,938 Come out! We got you! 70 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,898 [man 2 on telecom] Yeah! and we got burgers... 71 00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:54,484 -What? I'm not ordering food! -...and hostages and fries! 72 00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:56,402 I'm ordering you to give yourselves up. 73 00:03:56,527 --> 00:03:58,655 And I'm ordering one car for seven people to go 74 00:03:58,821 --> 00:04:00,740 -and one plane. -One plain what? 75 00:04:00,865 --> 00:04:03,368 One plain plane with pilot. Hold the crew. 76 00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:05,578 I want those hostages now! 77 00:04:05,703 --> 00:04:07,330 -One hostage, coming up. -What the f-- 78 00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:09,332 -[screaming] -[Dix] Those hostages were 79 00:04:09,457 --> 00:04:11,668 -my new gerbils, and they needed Marshal "Dick" Dix... -[gunshots] 80 00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:14,837 -...to get them out. -[dramatic music] 81 00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:19,175 -[brakes screeching] -[clinks] 82 00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:20,593 Oh, shit! 83 00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:24,472 -[rumbling] -[engine revving] 84 00:04:25,306 --> 00:04:29,185 -Dix, this is police business. You have no jurisdiction here. -Hmm. 85 00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:31,020 -Now get lost! -[gunshots] 86 00:04:31,145 --> 00:04:32,230 Whoa! 87 00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:36,317 [glass shattering] 88 00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:38,695 [indistinct screaming] 89 00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:45,368 [clangs] 90 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,371 [grunting] 91 00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:50,581 All right! 92 00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:54,210 [light suspenseful music] 93 00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:56,671 -Well... -[indistinct chatter on radio] 94 00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:59,841 ...let's play a little game of Simon Says. 95 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:03,094 Good. Simon says, 96 00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:04,846 -"Get your hands over your heads... -[gasping and grunting] 97 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,764 ...and line up in front of me here." 98 00:05:06,889 --> 00:05:07,849 Hurry it up! 99 00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:11,227 -[loud creaking] -Let's go. 100 00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:13,646 -[indistinct muttering] -Uh, what are you, 101 00:05:13,771 --> 00:05:15,898 a bunch of fanatics? You hate this country? 102 00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:18,526 You mad just because we don't play soccer here? 103 00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:20,528 But, Mr. Simon, 104 00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,363 -we're the hostages. -[hostage] Yeah. 105 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,574 Who do you think you're talking to? A dummy? 106 00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:27,702 These hardworking immigrants are the backbone of this country. 107 00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:29,912 They take jobs that nobody else takes. 108 00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:31,956 They're the ones who put the dam on the Hoover, 109 00:05:32,081 --> 00:05:34,792 the ones who put the railroad ties over the Great Divide, 110 00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:37,211 -and they did it with a smile. -[creaking] 111 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:38,546 They weren't mad at anybody. 112 00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:40,256 -[guns cocking] -[gasping] 113 00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:43,468 Oh, no, no. Don't lower yourself to their level. 114 00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:44,802 -I'll take care of this. -Hmm? 115 00:05:44,927 --> 00:05:46,471 I'll see to it they get a fair trial, 116 00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:48,097 -and then we'll string 'em up. -[dramatic music] 117 00:05:48,264 --> 00:05:49,390 -[crashing] -[electrical buzzing and crackling] 118 00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:52,101 [screaming] 119 00:05:56,522 --> 00:05:58,441 -Fire the tear gas! -[firing shots] 120 00:05:58,566 --> 00:06:00,651 -[hissing] -[coughing] 121 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,784 -[triumphant music] -[engine rumbling] 122 00:06:08,284 --> 00:06:10,536 [tires screeching] 123 00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,288 I'm going to kill him. 124 00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,957 -[reporter 1] There he is! There he is! Marshal Dix! -[reporter 2] Dix! 125 00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:16,626 -[reporter 3] Marshal Dix, can you tell us what happened? -Dix! 126 00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:18,628 -[cross talk] -Let's get one thing clear here. 127 00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,963 This situation was not created by the police. 128 00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:24,133 It was created by people who were getting in the way of the police. 129 00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:26,427 The police are not here to create disorder. 130 00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:29,097 The police are here to protect disorder. 131 00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:30,932 [reporters] Hmm. 132 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:33,851 -[engine rumbling] -[grunts] 133 00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:35,978 -You come back here! -[explosion] 134 00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:38,314 [gasps and groans] 135 00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:40,108 [reporters] Marshal Dix! Marshal Dix! 136 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:42,151 [Dix] There's nothing better than a job well done 137 00:06:42,276 --> 00:06:43,528 and delicately handled. 138 00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:46,072 Now it was time to meet the big boss, 139 00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:48,282 -Secretary Osgood. -[reporter 4] Marshal-- Marshal Dix! 140 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:51,953 I loved my job. Every day was different. Every assignment was different. 141 00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:54,997 Everything about the department was different. 142 00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:57,500 [reporters shouting indistinctly] 143 00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,335 [officer] Hold it right there! Hold it! 144 00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:01,504 [band playing upbeat jazz music] 145 00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:05,216 -[officer 1] Enough, enough. Stop. Stop! -This is not respectful 146 00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:06,884 -to the deceased. This ain't... -[officer 2] How you hangin', Dix? 147 00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:08,511 -...funeral music. -Hey, jump to it, come on. 148 00:07:08,636 --> 00:07:10,596 [upbeat jazz music continues] 149 00:07:10,721 --> 00:07:12,974 -[cross talk] -[grunting] 150 00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:16,352 [blow horn honks] 151 00:07:16,477 --> 00:07:18,229 -Go! Go! -No, no! 152 00:07:18,354 --> 00:07:20,523 -[indistinct chatter] -[Dix] To the untrained eye, 153 00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:23,651 this place looked like the normal bullpen of any old precinct. 154 00:07:24,193 --> 00:07:26,237 But hidden deep within the bowels of this building, 155 00:07:26,362 --> 00:07:28,698 -grave matters of state were at play. -[beeping] 156 00:07:31,367 --> 00:07:33,578 -[Osgood] Dix. Come on in. -[man] ...sure. Why? 157 00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:36,664 -Good to see you, my boy. -Good to see you, Mr. Secretary. 158 00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:40,251 This is Cassandra Menage, executive officer on Vegan. 159 00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:42,253 -Hi. Good. Hi. -How do you do? 160 00:07:42,378 --> 00:07:45,089 Miss Menage is in charge of human and alien affairs. 161 00:07:45,214 --> 00:07:47,800 -That some kind of, uh, dating service? -No. 162 00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:49,886 She oversees our sensitive alien operations. 163 00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:52,054 Oh, well, there's nothing sensitive about them. 164 00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:54,891 You just need more men. Tighten up the border patrols. 165 00:07:55,057 --> 00:07:55,850 Dix. 166 00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:57,560 I'm talking about alien aliens. 167 00:07:57,727 --> 00:07:59,353 U-- Alien aliens. [stuttering] Yeah. 168 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,689 -[whimsical music] -You mean, like the ones from outer space? 169 00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:04,817 Yes. Vegan is a lunar base, just like Area 51, 170 00:08:04,942 --> 00:08:06,944 but shielded from Earth by a reflective bubble. 171 00:08:07,069 --> 00:08:08,905 And there are plenty of aliens there. 172 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,531 Cassandra files classified reports 173 00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:11,908 to the various international governments 174 00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:14,118 involved in the project, ours included. 175 00:08:14,243 --> 00:08:17,079 -[fanfare music] -This latest one, she's delivered in person. 176 00:08:17,246 --> 00:08:19,916 If what she says is true, the future of our planet is at stake. 177 00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:21,250 Well, that could be serious. 178 00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:23,461 Now, I know it smells funny, but the president 179 00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:25,421 -of the United States has been kidnapped... -[sniffs] 180 00:08:25,546 --> 00:08:27,590 -[whimsical music] -...and is being held captive on Vegan. 181 00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:29,634 The man in the White House is a clone. 182 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:31,469 Uh, just a minute. It says here that, 183 00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:33,930 "The man in the White House is a clown." 184 00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:36,599 Clone. 185 00:08:39,268 --> 00:08:42,480 -"Clone," that's what it says here. -Yeah, I know. That's my report. 186 00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:46,108 -[Osgood] This isn't a joke, Dix. -Well, I know that, sir, 187 00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:48,903 it's just that I saw the president on television the other night. 188 00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:50,988 -But that wasn't the president. -She's right. 189 00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:52,990 We're all set up for memory recapture. 190 00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:54,951 Have a seat, Marshal. 191 00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:57,912 [sighs] Cassandra, 192 00:08:58,037 --> 00:09:00,289 your brain waves will be transmitted to the screen, 193 00:09:00,456 --> 00:09:03,292 -so we'll be able to see exactly what you saw and heard. -[whirring and beeping] 194 00:09:03,417 --> 00:09:06,629 When you're ready, I want you to tell us what happened. 195 00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:08,548 Let's close your eyes. 196 00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:10,299 Relax. 197 00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:12,635 Let your unconscious take over. 198 00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:15,805 -Let your mind go blank. -[snoring] 199 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,808 [snoring loudly] 200 00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:19,809 Dix. 201 00:09:21,477 --> 00:09:22,812 -Dix! -[gasps] 202 00:09:23,479 --> 00:09:24,689 You need to watch the screen. 203 00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:27,066 [whirring and beeping continue] 204 00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:30,570 [high-pitched whirring] 205 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,029 [high-pitched ringing] 206 00:09:32,154 --> 00:09:33,447 [Cassandra] I'd gone to the Vegan mines 207 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:34,490 to investigate a grievance 208 00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:35,783 by one of the miners. 209 00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:37,827 -[suspenseful music] -After a lot of turns and twists, 210 00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:39,996 I realized I was completely lost. 211 00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:42,039 -My way was blocked by a cave-in. -[soft dripping] 212 00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:45,376 Then I noticed light coming through a crack in the wall. 213 00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:47,962 I moved forward and found myself in a room 214 00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:50,506 overlooking some kind of an operating theater. 215 00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:53,217 [indistinct chatter] 216 00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:56,095 A man was talking in an alien dialect, 217 00:09:56,220 --> 00:09:57,930 so I switched the Auto-Trans to English 218 00:09:58,055 --> 00:10:00,558 to see if I could recognize his voice, but I couldn't. 219 00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:02,977 [man] ...I will get that silicon for you 220 00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:05,521 if you make me leader of a new world. 221 00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:07,982 [indistinct chatter] 222 00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:10,151 By using DNA building blocks, 223 00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:13,696 I will create clones of existing world leaders 224 00:10:13,821 --> 00:10:16,032 who will follow our orders. 225 00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:18,200 [whirring] 226 00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:21,329 -Activate the cloning machine. -[machine whirring] 227 00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:29,253 -And now, for our latest clone creation... -[chiming] 228 00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:33,257 -...a world leader... admired by all. -[dramatic music] 229 00:10:36,218 --> 00:10:38,888 And there he was, Groucho Marx! 230 00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:41,932 But what happened next was more frightening still. 231 00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:44,977 [man] In Washington, the man in power, the president, 232 00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:47,229 is a clone, our clone. 233 00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:50,566 Now, let me introduce you to his predecessor, 234 00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:53,903 -the real president of the United States. -[triumphant fanfare music] 235 00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:56,072 [indistinct cheering and chattering] 236 00:10:56,989 --> 00:11:00,576 [alien] Now, with our clone in control, we will take your Earth 237 00:11:00,701 --> 00:11:02,787 and all its silicon too. 238 00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:05,581 Then it's hasta la vista! 239 00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:07,291 [laughs evilly] 240 00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:10,419 -Bastards! -[indistinct chatter] 241 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,755 And that's when I ran as fast as I could. 242 00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:15,758 They took the president, took his DNA, 243 00:11:15,883 --> 00:11:17,635 and put an impostor in the White House. 244 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,512 Kidnapping, robbery, and fraud. 245 00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:21,305 That's what I call breaking the law. 246 00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:25,142 Dix, I want you to go to Vegan to make a routine inspection. 247 00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:27,103 -I'll arrange the clearances. -[softly] Mm-hmm. 248 00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:30,272 If the president is there, find him and bring him back. 249 00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:33,484 Remember, the implications here are very grave. 250 00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:37,154 Any mistakes, even fumbles, will be denied at this end. 251 00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:39,615 As far as we're concerned, you're acting on your own. 252 00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:41,283 [dramatic music] 253 00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:43,577 And when you and Miss Menage meet again on Vegan, 254 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:45,204 you've never seen each other before. 255 00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:47,748 -Is that clear? -I've forgotten already. 256 00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:50,000 It'll take me a little longer than that. 257 00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:52,586 -Oh, that's so nice! -Oh, thank you. 258 00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:54,797 Always had a good memory, even as a boy. 259 00:11:54,922 --> 00:11:56,132 -[whimsical music] -[whirring and beeping] 260 00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:58,968 -Um, well, Marshal... -Miss, uh-- 261 00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:00,803 -Menage. Yeah. -Uh, Menage. 262 00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:07,184 -[Osgood] Congratulations, Miss Menage. Thank you. -Uh-- hmm. 263 00:12:10,604 --> 00:12:12,314 -[whirring] -Richard, 264 00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:14,608 if you don't stop pulling your thing, 265 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,944 you're gonna go blind! 266 00:12:18,112 --> 00:12:20,531 [young Dix] But I like pulling on it, Mom. 267 00:12:21,323 --> 00:12:24,577 Mrs. Dix, your son is rapidly losing his sight, 268 00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:26,954 and we don't know why. 269 00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:31,167 [young Dix] Mom, meet my new girlfriend. 270 00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:34,795 [Dix's mother] Richard, you gotta wear your glasses. 271 00:12:36,338 --> 00:12:38,174 [howling] 272 00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:40,468 [Osgood] I have the utmost faith in you, Marshal Dix. 273 00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:43,679 -Have a good flight. -Thank you, Mr. Secretary. 274 00:12:44,221 --> 00:12:45,890 I think this must be broken. 275 00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:50,519 -[beeping] -[indistinct shouting] 276 00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:53,272 [Dix] I didn't have a lot of time. I had to catch a plane 277 00:12:53,397 --> 00:12:55,858 to Cape Kennedy, then the shuttle to Vegan, 278 00:12:55,983 --> 00:12:58,027 -and avoid any pressing delays. -Excuse-- 279 00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:01,280 -[sumo wrestler grunts] -[groans] 280 00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:03,449 [upbeat whimsical music] 281 00:13:03,824 --> 00:13:06,410 [grunting and groaning] 282 00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:10,790 [groans] 283 00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:17,963 [screaming] 284 00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:22,718 [Dix] The department was gonna have to dive in at the deep end 285 00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:25,304 because I was headed for the moon to maybe rescue 286 00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:27,556 the president of the United States. 287 00:13:27,723 --> 00:13:29,809 -[dramatic music] -[hissing] 288 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:32,895 [rumbling] 289 00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:40,903 ["The Blue Danube" by Johann Strauss II] 290 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:44,073 [soft buzzing] 291 00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:54,124 [clicking] 292 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:28,534 [squishing] 293 00:14:29,743 --> 00:14:30,953 [bubbling] 294 00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:41,171 [bubbling] 295 00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:43,549 ["The Blue Danube" continues] 296 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,648 [slurping] 297 00:15:05,946 --> 00:15:07,239 -[pops] -[grunts] 298 00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:10,367 -[sneezes loudly] -[whooshing] 299 00:15:10,826 --> 00:15:12,912 [thudding] 300 00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:16,206 [clattering] 301 00:15:26,675 --> 00:15:27,676 [grunts] 302 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:35,684 -[alarm blaring] -[woman on PA] Artificial gravity enabled. 303 00:15:36,518 --> 00:15:40,606 Warning. Artificial gravity may cause hallucinations. 304 00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:42,983 ["The Blue Danube" continues] 305 00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:54,328 [door whirring] 306 00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:56,872 [woman screaming echoes] 307 00:15:57,373 --> 00:16:00,125 -[man screaming echoes] -[door whirring] 308 00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:08,217 -[door whirring] -["The Blue Danube" playing] 309 00:16:19,186 --> 00:16:21,021 [door whirring] 310 00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:23,399 [rumbling] 311 00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:28,487 [whimsical music] 312 00:16:36,745 --> 00:16:39,581 [woman on PA] Warning. Artificial gravity... 313 00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:41,250 -[beeping] -...off. 314 00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:43,127 [whimsical, tense music] 315 00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:47,172 Please remember to lower the seat. 316 00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:53,762 [farting] 317 00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:55,597 [dramatic music] 318 00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:56,724 [wind blowing] 319 00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:58,475 [belt snaps] 320 00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:02,604 -[belt snaps] -[shouting] 321 00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:04,440 [bubbling] 322 00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:09,528 -[belt snaps] -[screaming] 323 00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:11,030 [thuds] 324 00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:14,616 -[belt snaps] -[all screaming] 325 00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:17,369 [clangs] 326 00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:28,589 [engine rumbling] 327 00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:34,470 [indistinct chatter] 328 00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:39,475 [alien] This should help beam me up. I've got to get back to my ship. 329 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:44,313 -Scotty, Bones, Mr. Spock, where the hell are you? -[indistinct chatter continues] 330 00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:46,648 [buzzing and chiming] 331 00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:56,116 [Dix] Secretary Osgood was right when he told me 332 00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:58,410 there were plenty of aliens on Vegan, 333 00:17:58,535 --> 00:18:01,622 but he'd forgotten to tell me how butt-ugly they were. 334 00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:04,124 They were ugly from any direction. 335 00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:05,834 [man speaking indistinctly on PA] 336 00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:08,670 -...please report to Gate C for assistance. -Mm-hmm. 337 00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:13,342 Mm-hmm. The rules. Smuggling or assisting any alien back to Earth 338 00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:17,513 -means immediate imprisonment. Open your bag, please. -Yo, is that Marshal Dix? 339 00:18:17,638 --> 00:18:19,348 Everything's all right. He's police. 340 00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:20,849 Lieutenant Shitzu, Vegan Security. 341 00:18:20,974 --> 00:18:22,810 -MSWIC. -Miss Who? 342 00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,520 MSWIC. M-S-W-I-C? 343 00:18:24,686 --> 00:18:26,355 I'm the Mother-Sucker-Who's-In-Charge. 344 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:29,483 -Is this your bag? -[man on PA] The escalators are for... 345 00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:31,110 -Hmm. -I'm writing a book. 346 00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:32,903 Welcome to Vegan, Marshal Dix. 347 00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:36,365 That's right, isn't it, Dix? As in more than one dick. 348 00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:38,784 -[grunts] -Uh, it's good to be some place 349 00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:41,203 -where your feet will do what you tell 'em to. -[groaning] 350 00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:43,539 [man on PA] Attention! Attention! 351 00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:45,249 Sensors have detected an alien 352 00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:46,708 -hiding in a human life-form. -[alarm blaring] 353 00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:48,293 -This is strictly forbidden. -Oh, no! 354 00:18:48,418 --> 00:18:50,045 Repeat, this is strictly forbidden. 355 00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:52,214 [indistinct screaming] 356 00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:55,050 We're coming outsy. Come on, boys. Let's go! 357 00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:56,718 Get out of the way! Down, down! 358 00:18:56,844 --> 00:18:58,679 -Get your monkey ass down! Go! -[Dix] What's going on? 359 00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:00,347 -[Shitzu] That fool's a conversion! -[Dix] Do you need 360 00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:01,890 -holy water for that? -Let me explain it to you 361 00:19:02,015 --> 00:19:03,642 like this. When these brothers first came here, 362 00:19:03,767 --> 00:19:05,269 we didn't know about their plans to use conversions 363 00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:07,229 -to take over the Earth. -Okay, men! 364 00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:08,647 Lucky for us, all our asses were saved 365 00:19:08,772 --> 00:19:10,107 due to the sounds of our modern life. 366 00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:11,900 Stuff like Arcade, TV, rap, hip-hop, 367 00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:14,611 -all that irritatin' shit. -Suck him up! Suck him up! 368 00:19:14,736 --> 00:19:17,030 High-pitched sounds makes these suckers explode. 369 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,408 [machine rattling] 370 00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:23,829 Close the lid. 371 00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:26,248 -Baboom! -[explosion] 372 00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:28,375 -[hissing] -[all shouting] 373 00:19:30,043 --> 00:19:33,714 -Everybody all right? Good. -[machine powers down] 374 00:19:34,214 --> 00:19:35,507 [mutters indistinctly] 375 00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:40,637 [grunts, speaks in Italian] 376 00:19:40,762 --> 00:19:42,806 ...I am Captain Valentino Di Pasquale. 377 00:19:42,931 --> 00:19:45,767 -I don't speak alien. -Alie-- [chuckles] he ain't kickin' no alien, 378 00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:47,603 jive-ass lingo. He's just keepin' it real. 379 00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:49,146 He's trying to show you some love, know what I mean? 380 00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:51,064 -What? -[Valentino speaking in Italian] 381 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:54,568 -...uh, he try to speak in a piccolo ebonico. -Pickle what? 382 00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:57,779 No disrespect, but y'all up in this ice cream. You don't even know the flavor. 383 00:19:57,946 --> 00:20:00,282 What do you think, that I don't speak plain English? 384 00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:02,117 Please, uh, my father was from Brooklyn-- 385 00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:04,786 -What's he-- -You know, man, did years in Vegas, babe. 386 00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:07,456 [in sing-song] Who can take the sun-- Yeah! 387 00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,291 [in normal voice] Write that, babe. Yeah. [chuckles] 388 00:20:09,416 --> 00:20:11,293 -The guy's right. -[humming] Yeah! 389 00:20:11,418 --> 00:20:13,086 Uh, Marshal... [speaks in Italian] 390 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,880 -...eh, eh, this way. -Hmm. 391 00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:17,257 [indistinct chatter] 392 00:20:17,841 --> 00:20:19,801 [dramatic music] 393 00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:21,970 [engines rumbling] 394 00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:25,724 [whirring and whooshing] 395 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,811 [indistinct chatter] 396 00:20:36,443 --> 00:20:38,528 Our Operation and Research director, Dr. Pratt, 397 00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:40,197 is standing by to show you around. 398 00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:42,241 Now, Base Commander couldn't be here. 399 00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:44,368 "Sorry," he said, but he's out playing golf. 400 00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:46,620 -[soldier] Sir. -Everything is okay? 401 00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:48,914 -[soldier] Yes, sir. -Good. That means nothing works. 402 00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:52,834 -But he did ask me to escort you to a reception here tonight. -[beeps] 403 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,211 [whirring] 404 00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:56,046 -[chiming] -[beeps] 405 00:20:56,797 --> 00:21:01,009 [sighs] Yeah. One stronzo alien less. [chuckles] 406 00:21:02,511 --> 00:21:04,680 [door whirring] 407 00:21:04,846 --> 00:21:05,847 Huh, Dr. Pratt? 408 00:21:06,014 --> 00:21:08,850 -[door whirring] -[sighs] 409 00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:11,019 Dr. Pratt? 410 00:21:11,895 --> 00:21:14,815 -Yes, Lieutenant? Ah. -Oh, you scared me again. You got me. 411 00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:16,984 Oh, you keep getting me each time, I tell you. 412 00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:18,944 [whimsical music] 413 00:21:19,069 --> 00:21:20,362 This is Marshal Dix. 414 00:21:20,487 --> 00:21:22,781 [Griffin] Oh, yes. Right on time. 415 00:21:22,906 --> 00:21:24,616 I'll never understand these inspections. 416 00:21:24,741 --> 00:21:26,868 What are we looking for this time? 417 00:21:27,369 --> 00:21:28,495 Routine. 418 00:21:29,871 --> 00:21:32,416 Perhaps you may be interested in seeing 419 00:21:32,541 --> 00:21:35,919 -my pièce de résistance? -Piece of what? 420 00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:39,381 My scale replica of the entire complex. 421 00:21:39,506 --> 00:21:41,466 Here's the entrance to the mines, 422 00:21:41,591 --> 00:21:43,176 the administration complex... 423 00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:46,346 -[softly] Oh. -...the spaceport, all the details. 424 00:21:46,471 --> 00:21:49,016 Now, we are here. 425 00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,142 Ah. 426 00:21:50,517 --> 00:21:52,561 No, no, no, no, no! Don't touch. 427 00:21:53,478 --> 00:21:56,398 -It's very delicate. -Doctor, the next time you're on Earth, 428 00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:59,401 I'll show you the paper cup model plane I made. 429 00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:01,778 I certainly look forward to that. 430 00:22:02,237 --> 00:22:04,489 -[door whirring] -[sensual music] 431 00:22:07,951 --> 00:22:09,870 -Here's your report, Dr. Pratt. -Thank you. 432 00:22:09,995 --> 00:22:13,415 Gentlemen, my assistant, Yetta Pussel. 433 00:22:13,915 --> 00:22:16,710 -Gentlemen. -[Griffin] I took the liberty of requesting a copy 434 00:22:16,835 --> 00:22:19,755 of the last routine inspection you people made. 435 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,214 -[sighs softly] -Follow me. 436 00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:23,550 -Now. -[whirring and buzzing] 437 00:22:23,675 --> 00:22:25,761 All our research is carried out here. 438 00:22:25,927 --> 00:22:27,888 Our study of silicon, for example. 439 00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:31,099 Abundant on Earth, nonexistent on many other planets. 440 00:22:31,266 --> 00:22:34,686 For most aliens, it's life-supporting, like food is to us. 441 00:22:34,811 --> 00:22:37,397 -[rustling] -[bubbling] 442 00:22:37,522 --> 00:22:39,274 Hence our ongoing conflict with them 443 00:22:39,441 --> 00:22:41,360 and our tight security here. 444 00:22:41,485 --> 00:22:45,072 -And it works real good on the old Johnson. -Johnson? President Johnson? 445 00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:47,282 There are no presidents on Vegan, Marshal. 446 00:22:47,407 --> 00:22:51,119 I'm afraid we're being battered by a mistaken sense of humor. 447 00:22:51,953 --> 00:22:54,122 -All right, my main man, Marshal Dix. -Uh, okay. 448 00:22:54,289 --> 00:22:58,960 -[Shitzu] All right. -Dr. Uschi Künstler, Senior Base Science Officer. 449 00:23:00,128 --> 00:23:01,588 -Doctor. -Yes. 450 00:23:01,713 --> 00:23:05,550 Of psychology, parapsychology, and solar proctology. 451 00:23:05,675 --> 00:23:08,553 I also supervise genetic replication. 452 00:23:10,097 --> 00:23:11,640 -Uh... -Clones? 453 00:23:12,516 --> 00:23:13,892 Uh, are those clones? 454 00:23:14,017 --> 00:23:16,561 No, just plain old-fashioned rabbits. 455 00:23:16,978 --> 00:23:18,980 But we've made major advances with sheep. 456 00:23:19,106 --> 00:23:21,233 -Molly, for instance, was created only yesterday. -[bleating] 457 00:23:21,358 --> 00:23:24,778 The exact age and likeness of Dolly, her mother-in-law. 458 00:23:24,903 --> 00:23:28,031 -Can you do that with human beings? -No, that's not allowed. 459 00:23:28,156 --> 00:23:30,158 It's strictly against international policy. 460 00:23:30,325 --> 00:23:33,537 I should hope so. It's against my policy too. 461 00:23:33,662 --> 00:23:35,080 I was in the Marines. 462 00:23:35,664 --> 00:23:37,958 Oh. Now, uh... 463 00:23:38,083 --> 00:23:40,710 C-- careful. That's the rapid cloning switch. 464 00:23:40,836 --> 00:23:44,673 You tamper with that, and we'd be overrun with, uh, all kinds of animals. 465 00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:46,425 -Uh-huh. -We've arranged 466 00:23:46,550 --> 00:23:48,343 for our Officer of Human-Alien Affairs, 467 00:23:48,510 --> 00:23:50,720 -Cassandra Menage, to show you to your quarters. -[Dix] Huh. 468 00:23:50,846 --> 00:23:53,098 -I'm headed in that direction. Maybe the marshal and I... -[blowing] 469 00:23:53,223 --> 00:23:55,350 -...could go down together-- -[rattles] 470 00:23:55,517 --> 00:23:57,727 [whimsical music] 471 00:24:05,444 --> 00:24:08,196 -[clattering and thudding] -[indistinct shouting] 472 00:24:08,613 --> 00:24:10,574 [door whirring] 473 00:24:14,035 --> 00:24:16,371 -[Griffin] I've just met him. -[shouting continues] 474 00:24:16,538 --> 00:24:18,748 Yes. From what I can see, 475 00:24:19,332 --> 00:24:21,001 he'll be absolutely fine. 476 00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:24,212 -[chiming] -[whirring] 477 00:24:25,505 --> 00:24:28,216 [beeping] 478 00:24:28,341 --> 00:24:29,593 [chuckles softly] 479 00:24:31,470 --> 00:24:33,054 -Uh, uh, uh-- -[buzzing] 480 00:24:33,180 --> 00:24:34,723 [woman on PA] Turbo power enabled. 481 00:24:34,890 --> 00:24:37,809 -[whooshing] -[grunting] 482 00:24:42,522 --> 00:24:43,732 [chiming] 483 00:24:47,444 --> 00:24:49,488 [groaning] 484 00:24:51,364 --> 00:24:53,909 Welcome to Vegan, Marshal Dix. 485 00:24:54,367 --> 00:24:55,911 Eh, glad to be here. 486 00:24:56,578 --> 00:24:58,330 [both grunting] 487 00:24:58,705 --> 00:24:59,915 [elevator chimes] 488 00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:05,212 Oh! The very person we wanted to see. 489 00:25:05,337 --> 00:25:06,963 -This is Marshal Dix. -[whimsical music] 490 00:25:07,088 --> 00:25:09,174 -[Dix groans and grunts] -[gasps loudly] 491 00:25:09,299 --> 00:25:11,843 -[gasps] -Oh-- ooh! 492 00:25:12,260 --> 00:25:14,221 [Dix groans] 493 00:25:14,346 --> 00:25:16,056 -[Uschi] He's... [farts] -[gasps] 494 00:25:16,181 --> 00:25:17,599 [shakily] he's here... 495 00:25:17,724 --> 00:25:19,935 [both grunting] 496 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:24,189 ...h-- he's here on a routine inspection. 497 00:25:24,314 --> 00:25:26,191 Yes, I can see that. 498 00:25:26,816 --> 00:25:29,402 -[grunts] -Menage. Cassandra Menage. 499 00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:30,612 Nice to meet ya. 500 00:25:31,196 --> 00:25:33,240 [Uschi groans] The marshal... 501 00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:35,158 [grunting] 502 00:25:35,283 --> 00:25:37,827 ...the marshal needs to be accommodated. 503 00:25:38,453 --> 00:25:41,623 Marshal, you can let me down now. 504 00:25:41,790 --> 00:25:44,042 [both grunting] 505 00:25:44,167 --> 00:25:46,461 -[both panting] -[exhales loudly] 506 00:25:46,962 --> 00:25:49,422 Perhaps you can take care of his needs? 507 00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:53,510 Oh! Does he have any needs left to be taken care of? 508 00:25:54,427 --> 00:25:55,303 Uh-- 509 00:25:55,428 --> 00:25:57,264 [whirring] 510 00:25:57,681 --> 00:26:01,476 -[grunts] Uh-- -Well, it was nice meeting you, Marshal Dix. 511 00:26:01,601 --> 00:26:02,727 Thank you. Me too. 512 00:26:04,980 --> 00:26:06,314 [indistinct chatter] 513 00:26:06,439 --> 00:26:07,941 -Marshal, if you please. -[Dix] In the space 514 00:26:08,066 --> 00:26:09,776 of two hours, I checked into the room 515 00:26:09,901 --> 00:26:11,778 I'd be sharing with Captain Di Pasquale, 516 00:26:11,903 --> 00:26:14,030 unpacked my stuff, and then sent Cassandra 517 00:26:14,155 --> 00:26:18,034 off to the library to look for base construction plans that might lead us 518 00:26:18,159 --> 00:26:20,203 to the location of the secret cloning lab. 519 00:26:20,328 --> 00:26:23,123 And now, armed with a dead-on, crime artist's sketch 520 00:26:23,248 --> 00:26:25,875 of the alien I'd seen on Osgood's recapture screen, 521 00:26:26,001 --> 00:26:29,504 I was ready for a little lunar socializing and snooping. 522 00:26:29,629 --> 00:26:33,341 -What are you doing? -Well, uh, I'm your escort. I'm keeping tabs on you. 523 00:26:33,466 --> 00:26:36,428 -Take your hand out of my pocket! -[indistinct chatter] 524 00:26:36,553 --> 00:26:38,346 Go keep tabs on somebody else. 525 00:26:38,513 --> 00:26:39,973 -[cork pops] -Hey, champagne! 526 00:26:40,098 --> 00:26:42,350 [gentle classical music playing] 527 00:26:43,018 --> 00:26:44,603 [waiter] Human refreshments. 528 00:26:46,396 --> 00:26:48,148 [alien 1] He said he was my twin brother. 529 00:26:48,273 --> 00:26:50,275 -[alien 2] Oh, waiter? Can I have a JB, please? -Hmm? 530 00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:52,527 Bulk up with more carbohydrates. 531 00:26:52,902 --> 00:26:54,571 [Dix] Apparently, some of these aliens 532 00:26:54,696 --> 00:26:56,031 learned English by monitoring movies 533 00:26:56,156 --> 00:26:58,033 on our TV transmission satellites. 534 00:26:58,158 --> 00:27:00,869 They all sure sounded like Hollywood actors. Yep. 535 00:27:00,994 --> 00:27:03,246 Even in outer space, everyone wants to be a star. 536 00:27:03,371 --> 00:27:05,749 I think I've seen the alien that was in the caves. 537 00:27:05,874 --> 00:27:08,043 -Yes, me too. -Oh. 538 00:27:09,044 --> 00:27:10,211 -[Cassandra] There. -And Maria... 539 00:27:10,378 --> 00:27:12,088 -[alien 2 laughs] -Oh! Who are you wearin'? 540 00:27:12,714 --> 00:27:13,715 -Two? -Yeah. 541 00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:16,843 Ah, Marshal Dix, there you are! 542 00:27:16,968 --> 00:27:18,345 -[laughs] -How do you do? 543 00:27:18,470 --> 00:27:21,014 Commander Sir Cecil Humphrey Wickernuts. 544 00:27:21,139 --> 00:27:23,391 -My wife, Oona Hottenlocker-Wickernuts. -[laughs] 545 00:27:23,516 --> 00:27:25,727 Oh! You're from Washington! 546 00:27:25,894 --> 00:27:28,146 I do hope you'll put in a good word for us. 547 00:27:28,271 --> 00:27:30,315 -Uh, what's that? -Uh, I, uh, uh, 548 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:34,194 -I found it on the floor. -Uh-- Ah! It's Grop! Uh, yeah, yes, mm-- 549 00:27:34,319 --> 00:27:37,489 No, no, no, it's Drong. [stutters] 550 00:27:37,614 --> 00:27:40,492 -No, no, wait, uh... -Well, you know they say, they all look alike. 551 00:27:40,617 --> 00:27:42,285 [laughter] 552 00:27:42,410 --> 00:27:45,080 We're throwing a party for everyone tomorrow at the club. 553 00:27:45,246 --> 00:27:46,414 Do join us. 554 00:27:46,539 --> 00:27:48,708 -Miss Menage here will be singing too. -[gasps] 555 00:27:48,833 --> 00:27:50,418 What a voice she has! 556 00:27:50,585 --> 00:27:52,754 -True nightingale. [chuckles] -Thank you. 557 00:27:52,879 --> 00:27:56,341 Miss Menage. Enchantè. 558 00:27:56,466 --> 00:27:57,717 [kisses] 559 00:27:58,593 --> 00:28:00,053 Excuse us, won't you? 560 00:28:00,178 --> 00:28:01,596 There's something I'd like you to look at. 561 00:28:01,721 --> 00:28:03,014 -Excuse me. -[Cecil] Of course. 562 00:28:03,139 --> 00:28:05,684 -Excuse me. -[Shitzu] Yo, excuse me too. 563 00:28:05,809 --> 00:28:08,061 [singing in Italian] 564 00:28:12,232 --> 00:28:15,527 So, Marshal Dix, you gonna be my new roommate, eh? [chuckles] 565 00:28:15,652 --> 00:28:16,903 -Yeah. -[speaks in Italian] 566 00:28:17,028 --> 00:28:18,738 You see, this is a good way to know 567 00:28:18,863 --> 00:28:20,323 where your food has been first. 568 00:28:20,448 --> 00:28:22,617 [whimsical music] 569 00:28:22,784 --> 00:28:25,161 [grumbling, grunting] 570 00:28:29,791 --> 00:28:30,875 Eh? 571 00:28:31,543 --> 00:28:33,795 -Uh, excuse me. -Please. 572 00:28:36,005 --> 00:28:39,759 I thought you might like to hear how the Alien Courtesy Center is coming along. 573 00:28:40,176 --> 00:28:42,137 It was your idea, you may remember. 574 00:28:42,512 --> 00:28:46,641 Perhaps you'd like to come and see some of my... renderings. 575 00:28:47,016 --> 00:28:48,268 [Cassandra] I'd be happy to. [chuckles] 576 00:28:48,643 --> 00:28:51,104 All our erections on Vegan 577 00:28:51,229 --> 00:28:53,690 are rubber-stamped by me, you know. 578 00:28:54,107 --> 00:28:55,734 That must keep you busy. 579 00:28:59,612 --> 00:29:00,864 Huh. 580 00:29:06,244 --> 00:29:09,164 Hey, there, you ever done it monkey style? 581 00:29:09,330 --> 00:29:12,959 -Hmm. -Too bad, it could've been a hairy ride. 582 00:29:13,668 --> 00:29:15,170 -[clears throat] -[woman] Yeah. 583 00:29:16,171 --> 00:29:18,673 [shouts] Oh! Oh, my God! My dress! 584 00:29:18,798 --> 00:29:21,009 -[indistinct chatter] -[shouts] 585 00:29:23,553 --> 00:29:25,346 [alien] She can sleep on my planet any time. 586 00:29:25,472 --> 00:29:27,724 Do you like... the music? 587 00:29:28,683 --> 00:29:31,019 I love the sound of the flute. I play a little my-- 588 00:29:31,144 --> 00:29:33,188 -[music continues] -Myself. 589 00:29:33,772 --> 00:29:36,691 Dr. Pratt? Is, uh, 590 00:29:36,816 --> 00:29:39,819 is this, uh-- this here, is this yours? 591 00:29:45,116 --> 00:29:47,076 -Where did you get that? -It was on the floor. 592 00:29:49,704 --> 00:29:51,831 [breathes loudly] 593 00:29:51,956 --> 00:29:54,459 -Uh-- -Thank you. 594 00:29:54,918 --> 00:29:56,377 [gentle classical music playing] 595 00:29:56,503 --> 00:29:57,462 Come this way. 596 00:30:00,924 --> 00:30:04,219 Let's sit here, shall we, Miss Menage? 597 00:30:05,428 --> 00:30:06,554 Waiter. 598 00:30:07,597 --> 00:30:08,515 Uh-- 599 00:30:09,516 --> 00:30:10,308 Hmm? 600 00:30:10,433 --> 00:30:12,852 [screeching] 601 00:30:13,937 --> 00:30:15,063 Ugh. 602 00:30:15,814 --> 00:30:17,357 [alien exclaims] 603 00:30:17,482 --> 00:30:18,399 Uh... 604 00:30:18,900 --> 00:30:20,401 -Uh? -Excuse me. 605 00:30:22,070 --> 00:30:22,987 [softly] What? 606 00:30:23,112 --> 00:30:24,656 [whimsical music continues] 607 00:30:24,781 --> 00:30:26,449 Hi. Uh, excuse me, uh, 608 00:30:26,574 --> 00:30:29,744 I, I don't think these false eyelashes become you. 609 00:30:29,911 --> 00:30:31,955 -[alien] Spoilsport. -[Griffin] Ah! 610 00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:33,915 -delicious. -[Cassandra] Thank you. 611 00:30:34,082 --> 00:30:36,543 -Bon appétit. -Merci. 612 00:30:37,836 --> 00:30:41,506 Excuse me, Dr. Pratt. Uh, Captain Pasquale is gonna take me back 613 00:30:41,631 --> 00:30:43,800 to the apartment in a few minutes. You can reach me there 614 00:30:43,925 --> 00:30:45,134 -if you need me. -Okay. 615 00:30:45,260 --> 00:30:48,429 -Good night. -Good night, Dix. 616 00:30:48,555 --> 00:30:50,974 [gentle classical music continues playing] 617 00:30:59,941 --> 00:31:01,109 [gasps softly] 618 00:31:03,945 --> 00:31:05,029 [inhales sharply] 619 00:31:10,076 --> 00:31:11,035 [exclaims, grunts] 620 00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:13,246 -Excuse me. -Yeah. 621 00:31:17,041 --> 00:31:18,626 Thank you, I thought I'd never get rid of him. 622 00:31:18,751 --> 00:31:22,130 -Leave now before he gets back. -Okay, okay. Thanks. 623 00:31:24,799 --> 00:31:26,634 [whimsical tone] 624 00:31:27,051 --> 00:31:30,388 Miss Menage has gone back to her apartment. She's got a headache. 625 00:31:30,805 --> 00:31:33,308 Really? Well, that's too bad. 626 00:31:33,433 --> 00:31:36,978 Oh, yeah. It is, uh, is real bad, yeah. 627 00:31:38,980 --> 00:31:40,231 Mm-hmm. 628 00:31:41,524 --> 00:31:43,276 [door whirring] 629 00:31:43,401 --> 00:31:46,738 It is important in life to have two boxes. 630 00:31:47,113 --> 00:31:50,366 One for food... [chuckles] and one for fun. 631 00:31:50,825 --> 00:31:54,787 As you can see, I'm not only a master of the buffet, 632 00:31:54,913 --> 00:31:58,666 I'm also a master of disguise. 633 00:31:58,791 --> 00:32:00,084 All kinds. Look. 634 00:32:00,209 --> 00:32:02,670 -[playful music] -[grunts] 635 00:32:02,795 --> 00:32:04,672 Oh! [grunting] 636 00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:08,009 -[slurping] -[splashing] 637 00:32:08,134 --> 00:32:10,887 [mumbling, in Irish accent] Oh, very good. 638 00:32:12,889 --> 00:32:16,267 [shouts, groans] 639 00:32:17,602 --> 00:32:19,354 [chuckling] 640 00:32:19,854 --> 00:32:21,105 -Heh? -Uh, what? 641 00:32:21,230 --> 00:32:23,274 Oh, the final touch. 642 00:32:24,275 --> 00:32:27,362 Now, Marshal, you don't gonna believe to your eyes. 643 00:32:27,487 --> 00:32:30,907 Look my special magic makeup. [chuckling] 644 00:32:34,369 --> 00:32:37,080 -Eh? Do you like it? -Ah, very good. 645 00:32:37,205 --> 00:32:40,166 I know. I know. [chuckles] Oh, sorry. 646 00:32:40,291 --> 00:32:42,251 Let me unzip your face. 647 00:32:42,835 --> 00:32:43,753 -Voilà. -[phone chiming] 648 00:32:43,878 --> 00:32:45,046 -[sighs] -Ooh. 649 00:32:45,421 --> 00:32:47,382 -The telephone. -Oh. 650 00:32:48,841 --> 00:32:50,718 -Yes? -[Cassandra] I'm at Pratt's. It's all clear. 651 00:32:50,843 --> 00:32:52,887 [Dix] I got over there faster than a speeding bullet, 652 00:32:53,054 --> 00:32:54,097 if you know what I mean. 653 00:32:54,514 --> 00:32:56,182 If any plans existed on Vegan 654 00:32:56,307 --> 00:32:57,934 that could lead us to the human cloning lab 655 00:32:58,059 --> 00:32:59,227 and the kidnapped president, 656 00:32:59,727 --> 00:33:01,854 I was sure this is where they would be. 657 00:33:01,980 --> 00:33:04,023 [light whimsical music] 658 00:33:05,066 --> 00:33:08,695 My job was to get in, get the plans, and get out 659 00:33:08,820 --> 00:33:11,614 -as quickly and quietly as possible. -[grunting] 660 00:33:11,739 --> 00:33:13,157 [shouts, thuds] 661 00:33:13,282 --> 00:33:14,492 [groan echoes] 662 00:33:17,203 --> 00:33:18,496 [groans softly] 663 00:33:20,498 --> 00:33:21,958 [grunting] 664 00:33:27,130 --> 00:33:28,297 [sighs] 665 00:33:32,343 --> 00:33:33,928 -[window squeaking] -[gasps] 666 00:33:34,053 --> 00:33:36,264 [thudding and clattering] 667 00:33:36,723 --> 00:33:37,640 [squishes] 668 00:33:38,016 --> 00:33:40,727 [grunting] 669 00:33:42,770 --> 00:33:43,688 [sighs] 670 00:33:49,944 --> 00:33:51,112 -[static] -Cassandra? 671 00:33:51,279 --> 00:33:53,031 -[Cassandra] Yes. -I'm in. 672 00:33:53,156 --> 00:33:54,282 -Roger. -[static] 673 00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:58,536 [door whirring] 674 00:33:58,661 --> 00:34:00,663 [suspenseful music] 675 00:34:01,289 --> 00:34:03,624 [door whirring] 676 00:34:07,462 --> 00:34:09,714 [light whimsical music] 677 00:34:23,519 --> 00:34:25,563 [rustling] 678 00:34:29,317 --> 00:34:30,485 -[squeaking] -[clatter] 679 00:34:30,610 --> 00:34:31,444 [groans] 680 00:34:31,819 --> 00:34:34,322 -[squishing] -It's all clear down here. 681 00:34:36,282 --> 00:34:38,493 [squelching] 682 00:34:39,577 --> 00:34:42,080 [rustling] 683 00:34:51,047 --> 00:34:53,508 -["Can Can" by Offenbach playing loudly] -[gasping] 684 00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:07,605 -[music stops] -[panting] 685 00:35:08,856 --> 00:35:11,442 -[whimsical, suspenseful music] -[rustling] 686 00:35:12,193 --> 00:35:13,486 -[rattles] -[grunts] 687 00:35:20,785 --> 00:35:23,079 [table cracks] 688 00:35:24,122 --> 00:35:25,248 Uh-- 689 00:35:25,873 --> 00:35:26,833 [grunts] 690 00:35:28,876 --> 00:35:31,546 [clattering] 691 00:35:52,525 --> 00:35:54,610 -[rumbling] -[gasping] 692 00:35:55,153 --> 00:35:56,571 -[crashing] -Oh! 693 00:35:56,737 --> 00:35:59,657 -[whirring] -[cuckoo chirps on clock] 694 00:36:00,366 --> 00:36:02,577 [music continues] 695 00:36:11,210 --> 00:36:13,337 [grunting] 696 00:36:16,591 --> 00:36:17,633 [thuds] 697 00:36:21,095 --> 00:36:22,263 [groans] 698 00:36:22,430 --> 00:36:24,182 -[whirring] -I saw lights flashing 699 00:36:24,307 --> 00:36:25,183 in your office, 700 00:36:25,766 --> 00:36:27,727 and someone was dancing the cancan. 701 00:36:27,852 --> 00:36:30,771 Right. Let's have a look, shall we? 702 00:36:30,938 --> 00:36:32,148 -[static] -It's Pratt. 703 00:36:32,273 --> 00:36:35,318 I'm-- I'm coming. I'm on my way. 704 00:36:36,777 --> 00:36:39,405 -[dramatic music] -[clattering] 705 00:36:49,457 --> 00:36:50,958 [thudding] 706 00:36:57,089 --> 00:37:00,176 -[door whirring] -[crashing] 707 00:37:08,142 --> 00:37:10,937 -[alarm blaring] -[panting] 708 00:37:13,981 --> 00:37:16,525 What kind of man would do something like that? 709 00:37:16,651 --> 00:37:19,820 I know exactly what kind of man, Dr. Künstler. 710 00:37:19,987 --> 00:37:21,322 [sheep bleating] 711 00:37:21,906 --> 00:37:23,032 And I promise you... 712 00:37:23,866 --> 00:37:26,535 ...he's going to pay dearly for this. 713 00:37:27,370 --> 00:37:28,704 Very dearly! 714 00:37:28,829 --> 00:37:30,957 [bleating] 715 00:37:31,082 --> 00:37:33,334 [tense music] 716 00:37:35,169 --> 00:37:36,921 -[bleating] -[gasps] 717 00:37:37,046 --> 00:37:38,714 [speaks indistinctly, shouts] 718 00:37:38,839 --> 00:37:41,008 -[thudding] -[groaning] 719 00:37:41,133 --> 00:37:43,344 [cheerful music] 720 00:37:48,140 --> 00:37:50,351 [dramatic music] 721 00:37:53,980 --> 00:37:56,023 [alarm blaring distantly] 722 00:37:59,068 --> 00:37:59,986 [Dix] Who is it? 723 00:38:00,486 --> 00:38:01,737 This is Dr. Pratt. 724 00:38:01,862 --> 00:38:04,699 I want a few words with you, Marshal. 725 00:38:04,824 --> 00:38:05,533 Yes? 726 00:38:05,658 --> 00:38:06,951 I don't have all day, Dix! 727 00:38:07,076 --> 00:38:08,536 Just open the door, will you? 728 00:38:08,661 --> 00:38:09,578 Uh, 729 00:38:10,121 --> 00:38:11,747 um, I'll be a moment, Dr. Pratt. 730 00:38:11,872 --> 00:38:13,541 [Griffin] Dix, I have a bone to pick with you. 731 00:38:13,708 --> 00:38:15,584 -Now, open this door now! -[clattering] 732 00:38:15,710 --> 00:38:16,919 [shouts] Open the door! 733 00:38:17,670 --> 00:38:19,338 [Dix] Just putting on my trousers. 734 00:38:19,463 --> 00:38:21,007 Just putting on my trousers. 735 00:38:22,216 --> 00:38:23,551 [Griffin] Ah... 736 00:38:24,176 --> 00:38:27,596 ...just cleaning yourself up, are you, Marshal? 737 00:38:28,389 --> 00:38:30,474 You are shaving, aren't you? 738 00:38:30,599 --> 00:38:32,727 Uh, yes, I shave my whole face. 739 00:38:32,852 --> 00:38:34,645 Uh, my whiskers grow pretty fast. 740 00:38:34,770 --> 00:38:36,397 -Does it really? -Uh, I start very early 741 00:38:36,522 --> 00:38:37,982 when I have an important function to attend, 742 00:38:38,107 --> 00:38:40,067 like the one, uh, this evening, and, uh-- 743 00:38:40,192 --> 00:38:43,112 Oh, uh, come in, come in, uh-- Oh, oh, good to see you, Doctor. 744 00:38:43,821 --> 00:38:46,741 [grunting] Let go of my hand, Dix! 745 00:38:46,866 --> 00:38:49,201 -Oh, oh, my-- -[spits] What are you doing? 746 00:38:49,327 --> 00:38:51,412 -[mumbles] -You fool! Let go of me! 747 00:38:51,537 --> 00:38:52,913 -Let me-- -What are you doing to me? 748 00:38:53,039 --> 00:38:54,874 -Here-- -Look at me! What are you doing? 749 00:38:54,999 --> 00:38:58,336 Dix, you imbecile! Stop it! [breathing heavily] 750 00:38:58,461 --> 00:39:00,755 There's something I want you to know. 751 00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:04,508 I know who you are, and I know why you're here, 752 00:39:04,633 --> 00:39:08,554 but you are never, never going to find him! 753 00:39:11,599 --> 00:39:12,850 [grunts loudly] 754 00:39:14,518 --> 00:39:16,437 [upbeat dance music playing] 755 00:39:16,604 --> 00:39:19,357 [indistinct chatter and laughter] 756 00:39:38,918 --> 00:39:41,587 The man behind this whole thing is Dr. Griffin Pratt. 757 00:39:41,712 --> 00:39:43,964 He as much as told me he's got the president prisoner. 758 00:39:44,131 --> 00:39:45,758 He even challenged me to go find him. 759 00:39:45,883 --> 00:39:48,427 He's as guilty as jam lips kissing a fruit tart. 760 00:39:48,552 --> 00:39:50,304 -Pratt. -Yeah. 761 00:39:50,971 --> 00:39:53,808 -We have to be very careful. -Yeah. 762 00:39:56,977 --> 00:39:59,063 I gotta go change now. See you later. 763 00:40:00,439 --> 00:40:01,482 [waiter 1] You'll have a Moonbanger? 764 00:40:01,607 --> 00:40:03,484 [bubbling] 765 00:40:03,818 --> 00:40:05,945 [humming] 766 00:40:07,196 --> 00:40:08,656 Think I'll skip this one. 767 00:40:13,244 --> 00:40:16,622 -You and Shitzu keep an eye on Dr. Pratt tonight. -[Valentino] Okay. 768 00:40:16,747 --> 00:40:18,999 [music continues playing] 769 00:40:24,046 --> 00:40:24,922 Please. 770 00:40:25,381 --> 00:40:27,967 Marshal Dix wants us to keep an eye on Dr. Pratt. 771 00:40:28,092 --> 00:40:31,011 -[speaks in Italian] -Dr. Pratt? Why Dr. Pratt? 772 00:40:31,178 --> 00:40:32,763 Well, uh, I don't know, 773 00:40:32,888 --> 00:40:34,682 but I do know what I better do right now. 774 00:40:34,849 --> 00:40:37,017 Excuse me. [grunts and groans] 775 00:40:39,437 --> 00:40:41,480 Ooh, what a line. 776 00:40:47,570 --> 00:40:48,696 Mm-hmm. 777 00:40:52,032 --> 00:40:53,742 -[man] Zip it, wacko, this is a bar! -Sorry. 778 00:40:53,868 --> 00:40:55,870 [waiter 2] The piss hole's over there! Buzz off! 779 00:40:55,995 --> 00:40:58,247 -Put your pecker in line, you yutz! -[groaning] 780 00:40:58,372 --> 00:41:02,877 Your Majesties and humble beings, let's hear a warm Vegan welcome 781 00:41:03,043 --> 00:41:07,214 for our star attraction, Miss Cassandra Menage. 782 00:41:07,381 --> 00:41:09,925 [cheering and clapping] 783 00:41:10,468 --> 00:41:11,969 [cheers and groans] 784 00:41:12,386 --> 00:41:14,847 ["Get Down Tonight" by Ophélie Winter playing] 785 00:41:19,393 --> 00:41:23,689 ♪ Baby, baby Let's get together ♪ 786 00:41:23,814 --> 00:41:26,609 ♪ Honey, honey, me and you ♪ 787 00:41:26,734 --> 00:41:29,320 -[man] Uh-huh. -♪ And do the things ♪ 788 00:41:29,445 --> 00:41:32,072 ♪ Oh, do the things ♪ 789 00:41:32,740 --> 00:41:35,367 ♪ That we like to do ♪ 790 00:41:35,493 --> 00:41:38,579 -♪ Oh, do a little dance ♪ -[man grunting] 791 00:41:38,704 --> 00:41:40,247 ♪ Make a little love ♪ 792 00:41:40,372 --> 00:41:43,918 ♪ Get down tonight Get down tonight ♪ 793 00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:47,171 -♪ Baby, baby... ♪ -[Dix] I didn't think anyone 794 00:41:47,296 --> 00:41:48,756 could take my mind off of Pratt, 795 00:41:48,923 --> 00:41:51,634 but suddenly there she was, onstage, 796 00:41:52,092 --> 00:41:55,095 a woman who could take anyone's mind off of anything. 797 00:41:55,679 --> 00:41:59,517 She had the deep nurturing instincts and strong family things that, 798 00:41:59,642 --> 00:42:03,103 that make her the ideal mother for any unplanned child. 799 00:42:03,521 --> 00:42:05,731 Cassandra was a nightingale. 800 00:42:05,856 --> 00:42:08,442 The old saying, "Wet birds never fly at night," 801 00:42:08,567 --> 00:42:12,029 I think she could fly any time she wanted to. 802 00:42:12,530 --> 00:42:14,448 ♪ ...make a little love ♪ 803 00:42:14,573 --> 00:42:17,993 -♪ Get down tonight Get down tonight ♪ -[man grunting] 804 00:42:18,118 --> 00:42:19,328 [vocalizes] 805 00:42:19,787 --> 00:42:22,665 [man singing indistinctly] 806 00:42:23,165 --> 00:42:26,043 [Dix] There he was, Dr. Griffin Pratt, 807 00:42:26,168 --> 00:42:28,587 a man who could ruin anyone's wet dream. 808 00:42:28,712 --> 00:42:33,300 Suave, cool, with all the moves of a slick ballroom dancer. 809 00:42:33,717 --> 00:42:35,094 It's time for Dr. Pratt 810 00:42:35,219 --> 00:42:37,263 to find out that he'd met his match, 811 00:42:37,388 --> 00:42:40,558 -his intellectual equal. -♪ ...get down tonight ♪ 812 00:42:40,683 --> 00:42:43,936 -I was about to arrange that introduction. -[mumbling, indistinct chatter] 813 00:42:44,061 --> 00:42:47,106 Dr. Pratt. You said to me, 814 00:42:47,231 --> 00:42:48,857 "There's something I want you to know. 815 00:42:48,983 --> 00:42:50,901 I know why you're here, and I know what you want." 816 00:42:51,026 --> 00:42:54,280 There's something I want you to know. So do I. 817 00:42:54,655 --> 00:42:56,574 -"So do I"? -Yes. 818 00:42:56,699 --> 00:42:58,409 Know why I'm here and know what I want. 819 00:42:58,534 --> 00:42:59,785 We stand here facing each other 820 00:42:59,910 --> 00:43:02,329 like Chief Ten Bears and Josey Wales. 821 00:43:02,454 --> 00:43:04,164 -"Chief Ten Bears"? -Yeah. 822 00:43:04,331 --> 00:43:07,167 He would say, "There's iron in your words that you know 823 00:43:07,293 --> 00:43:09,461 as there's iron in my words that I know. 824 00:43:09,587 --> 00:43:12,214 And there's iron in the words that you ain't livin' if you don't know it." 825 00:43:12,339 --> 00:43:15,509 Turn back to Chief Ten Bears before it's too late. 826 00:43:16,176 --> 00:43:18,262 -"Chief Ten--" -Ten Bears. 827 00:43:18,804 --> 00:43:20,848 -And the other one? -Josey Wales. 828 00:43:21,849 --> 00:43:24,268 -Who's he? -Clint Eastwood. 829 00:43:24,685 --> 00:43:26,312 -"Clint Eastwood"? -Yeah. 830 00:43:26,437 --> 00:43:29,356 -Oh, hey, hey! -You are a very convincing thinker, Marshal. 831 00:43:30,024 --> 00:43:32,026 Let me get back to you on this, all right? 832 00:43:34,194 --> 00:43:35,738 [Valentino] Out of order? 833 00:43:35,863 --> 00:43:38,157 It's 30 minutes I've been waiting here! 834 00:43:38,282 --> 00:43:40,576 Look, uh, carbon-based life, you're gonna have to hold it in. 835 00:43:40,701 --> 00:43:41,744 [Valentino] Damn it! 836 00:43:42,369 --> 00:43:44,538 -[breathes heavily and grunts] -♪ Get down ♪ 837 00:43:44,705 --> 00:43:46,040 ♪ Get down, get down ♪ 838 00:43:46,206 --> 00:43:50,461 -♪ Get down, get down tonight ♪ -[groaning] 839 00:43:50,586 --> 00:43:53,213 -[door creaking] -[Valentino sighing] 840 00:43:53,339 --> 00:43:54,548 [laughs] 841 00:43:54,715 --> 00:43:56,717 -Yo, man, stand clear. -What is it? 842 00:43:56,884 --> 00:43:58,886 -Another alien conversion? -Close enough. 843 00:43:59,011 --> 00:44:01,639 -[alien] Get out of my way! -[man] Yeah. 844 00:44:03,390 --> 00:44:07,311 [alien] Yoo-hoo, I am goin' to the moon! Yeah! 845 00:44:08,354 --> 00:44:10,981 -Yeah! [laughs] -[clattering and rumbling] 846 00:44:11,106 --> 00:44:14,526 ♪ ...down, get down Get down tonight ♪ 847 00:44:14,652 --> 00:44:16,904 [clapping and cheering] 848 00:44:19,573 --> 00:44:21,909 [upbeat dance music playing] 849 00:44:23,952 --> 00:44:25,829 [alien] Get out of my way, dork! 850 00:44:26,330 --> 00:44:28,374 [clanging and clattering] 851 00:44:28,957 --> 00:44:32,419 -[explosion] -[man] Oh! 852 00:44:32,586 --> 00:44:37,424 -[alien] Ooh! How sweet it is! -[cheering] 853 00:44:37,591 --> 00:44:41,679 Hey, I'm out now! Give me another turd-raveling music! 854 00:44:41,804 --> 00:44:43,180 [laughs] 855 00:44:43,889 --> 00:44:45,432 What's the celebration about? 856 00:44:45,557 --> 00:44:47,851 You'd be jiggy too, bro, if you only dumped once a year. 857 00:44:47,976 --> 00:44:50,270 -[alien] Oh, yeah! I'm sleek! -Hmm. 858 00:44:50,437 --> 00:44:52,815 -[alien] I'm thin! [laughs] -Where's Pasquale? 859 00:44:55,859 --> 00:44:57,778 -I hate aliens! -There he is. 860 00:44:57,903 --> 00:44:59,905 Why do they have to eat fava beans? 861 00:45:00,030 --> 00:45:01,782 [all chanting] Dump! Dump! Dump! 862 00:45:01,907 --> 00:45:03,158 [speaks in Italian] 863 00:45:03,867 --> 00:45:05,452 -[music continues playing] -[glasses clink] 864 00:45:06,578 --> 00:45:09,289 Okay, fellas, now, come on. You've been over-served here. 865 00:45:09,456 --> 00:45:10,791 -[shouts] -[buzzing] 866 00:45:10,916 --> 00:45:11,959 [Dix] All right. Come on. 867 00:45:12,126 --> 00:45:14,545 [Shitzu continues shouting] 868 00:45:14,670 --> 00:45:17,089 [cheering] 869 00:45:20,843 --> 00:45:22,136 [buzzing increases] 870 00:45:22,302 --> 00:45:24,972 -[whirring] -[shouting] 871 00:45:27,141 --> 00:45:29,935 -[boings] -[indistinct shouting] 872 00:45:32,604 --> 00:45:33,856 -[Uschi] Marshal? -Yeah, yeah. 873 00:45:33,981 --> 00:45:34,982 -Marshal. -Yes? 874 00:45:35,107 --> 00:45:36,650 I have to speak to you. 875 00:45:36,775 --> 00:45:39,236 [Dix] Is this some kind of performance or something? 876 00:45:39,361 --> 00:45:41,989 Oh, no. He's a cyborg. It happens all the time. 877 00:45:42,156 --> 00:45:43,615 I'm gonna put him back together in the morning. 878 00:45:43,741 --> 00:45:45,284 -Oh. -He's gonna be just fine. 879 00:45:45,409 --> 00:45:47,161 -Yeah. -Come on, I need to talk to you. 880 00:45:47,995 --> 00:45:49,788 Okay. All right. 881 00:45:51,832 --> 00:45:53,083 Make yourself at home. 882 00:45:53,208 --> 00:45:55,294 -[door whirring] -I'm gonna be right back. 883 00:45:57,838 --> 00:46:00,048 [buzzing and beeping] 884 00:46:06,847 --> 00:46:09,266 [dramatic, romantic music playing] 885 00:46:11,810 --> 00:46:13,020 Hello. 886 00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:14,438 Uh-- 887 00:46:15,606 --> 00:46:17,524 [door whirring] 888 00:46:20,944 --> 00:46:22,988 Something's going on. 889 00:46:23,530 --> 00:46:24,865 [softly] Uh-huh. 890 00:46:24,990 --> 00:46:26,575 I don't know who's behind it. 891 00:46:27,493 --> 00:46:30,954 I don't know what they're doing or why they're doing it. 892 00:46:31,079 --> 00:46:35,417 All I know is... I know I want you to know. 893 00:46:36,001 --> 00:46:39,004 Well, I, uh, I'm glad you told me. 894 00:46:40,130 --> 00:46:42,299 Marshal, I know exactly why you're here. 895 00:46:42,758 --> 00:46:43,926 I can help you. 896 00:46:44,384 --> 00:46:48,055 But therefore, you have to trust me. 897 00:46:52,559 --> 00:46:53,977 Did you know that... 898 00:46:54,728 --> 00:46:59,566 ...a male lion can mate 45 times in three hours? 899 00:47:00,192 --> 00:47:03,362 I don't have a lion. I don't even have a dog. 900 00:47:09,827 --> 00:47:12,079 [upbeat dance music playing] 901 00:47:13,121 --> 00:47:15,374 [bed whirring] 902 00:47:19,127 --> 00:47:20,963 -[snapping] -[softly] Uh-- 903 00:47:23,048 --> 00:47:25,050 [growling] 904 00:47:32,015 --> 00:47:33,100 [gasps] 905 00:47:34,351 --> 00:47:35,936 -[slapping] -[groans] 906 00:47:39,523 --> 00:47:41,567 [Dix] One of the advantages of working undercover 907 00:47:41,692 --> 00:47:43,944 was that sometimes things got uncovered 908 00:47:44,111 --> 00:47:47,531 that you didn't expect to see uncovered, and you learned about things 909 00:47:47,656 --> 00:47:49,825 -that you didn't expect to learn about. -[gasps softly] 910 00:47:49,950 --> 00:47:52,452 -Now, whatever Dr. Künstler was trying to hide... -[grunting] 911 00:47:52,619 --> 00:47:54,997 ...she sure wasn't doing a very good job. 912 00:47:56,123 --> 00:47:57,666 Anything on your mind, Dick? 913 00:47:57,791 --> 00:47:58,792 [whimsical tinkling] 914 00:47:58,959 --> 00:47:59,960 -[Dix] No. -[lion grunts] 915 00:48:00,127 --> 00:48:01,962 I'm not even thinking. 916 00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:05,799 Dr. Künstler, get a grip. 917 00:48:05,924 --> 00:48:07,759 -[whooshes] -[groans] 918 00:48:07,885 --> 00:48:09,094 [whimsical music] 919 00:48:09,219 --> 00:48:11,930 That does it. It's time you went home. 920 00:48:12,055 --> 00:48:13,307 I'm at home. 921 00:48:13,432 --> 00:48:15,684 -It's time I went home. -[fabric ripping] 922 00:48:15,809 --> 00:48:16,810 Stay. 923 00:48:17,394 --> 00:48:19,146 Don't you wanna know what else I know? 924 00:48:19,313 --> 00:48:22,357 No. That stuff about the lion, that was good enough for me. 925 00:48:22,482 --> 00:48:24,526 [door whirring] 926 00:48:26,278 --> 00:48:28,572 -[gulping] -[clinking] 927 00:48:28,697 --> 00:48:31,158 [Cassandra moaning] 928 00:48:31,325 --> 00:48:33,619 -Oh, there you are. -[Cassandra slurps and moans] 929 00:48:33,744 --> 00:48:34,995 At last you come. 930 00:48:37,497 --> 00:48:39,958 My God, is that all you people do up here in the evenings? 931 00:48:40,083 --> 00:48:41,209 -[Valentino chuckles] -[cup clinking] 932 00:48:41,335 --> 00:48:43,211 This is good for sleep, Marshal. 933 00:48:43,337 --> 00:48:45,881 A nice, sweet warm decaf. 934 00:48:46,006 --> 00:48:49,843 Nonfat latte, uh, a touch of mocha, no foam. 935 00:48:50,010 --> 00:48:51,845 -Do you want some? -No, thank you. 936 00:48:52,012 --> 00:48:53,889 I came by to see how Valentino was doing 937 00:48:54,014 --> 00:48:55,515 after that dreadful thing at the club. 938 00:48:55,682 --> 00:48:58,644 -Oh... [mumbles] yeah, pretty bad, huh? -Mm. 939 00:48:58,769 --> 00:49:01,438 I also told him about the president being a prisoner. 940 00:49:01,563 --> 00:49:04,274 -What? -We need all the assistance we can get, Marshal. 941 00:49:04,399 --> 00:49:06,193 -Yes, b-- -Uh, don't worry, Marshal. 942 00:49:06,318 --> 00:49:08,403 Uh, the elephant is sitting on my lips. 943 00:49:08,528 --> 00:49:11,031 Uh, I say nothing to Lieutenant Shitzu. 944 00:49:11,198 --> 00:49:13,283 I saw you leave the club with Dr. Künstler. 945 00:49:13,408 --> 00:49:15,744 -What happened? -Oh, uh, nothing. 946 00:49:16,370 --> 00:49:18,705 -Strange young lady. -[whimsical music] 947 00:49:18,830 --> 00:49:20,415 Other wild-goose chase. 948 00:49:21,041 --> 00:49:23,251 Well, I don't know about the wild goose, 949 00:49:23,377 --> 00:49:25,754 but the chase looks like it was very exciting. 950 00:49:25,879 --> 00:49:28,131 No. It is a little cold in here. 951 00:49:28,256 --> 00:49:30,258 I think I'll have some of that hot coffee. 952 00:49:31,677 --> 00:49:34,554 [beeps] 953 00:49:35,847 --> 00:49:37,265 Oh, God! 954 00:49:37,849 --> 00:49:39,142 Someone has stolen my zipper. 955 00:49:39,935 --> 00:49:43,146 [woman] The atmosphere has no effect on my balance whatsoever, 956 00:49:43,271 --> 00:49:45,774 -and I'm here-- What-- [gasps] -[man] Watch your step there. 957 00:49:45,899 --> 00:49:48,402 [man] Houston, we have a problem. She's fallen and she can't get up. 958 00:49:48,527 --> 00:49:51,238 -I thought I told you no contact! -I know, sir. 959 00:49:51,363 --> 00:49:54,992 But I'm convinced now that the president is here and is being held prisoner. 960 00:49:55,117 --> 00:49:56,994 The man behind it is Dr. Griffin Pratt. 961 00:49:57,119 --> 00:49:59,037 -Are you sure? -[Dix] I'm positive. 962 00:49:59,579 --> 00:50:01,498 -[knocks on door] -Mr. Secretary, 963 00:50:01,623 --> 00:50:03,417 send up the Galactic National Guard. 964 00:50:03,542 --> 00:50:05,544 -We'll get this cleared up in one day. -Who is it? 965 00:50:05,669 --> 00:50:07,629 No! That's the last thing we wanna do. 966 00:50:07,754 --> 00:50:09,756 That would sign the president's death warrant! 967 00:50:10,257 --> 00:50:12,676 You must handle this yourself. Get Miss Menage. 968 00:50:12,801 --> 00:50:15,721 -[screams] -[alien] Don't fight it, baby! It's bigger than both of us. 969 00:50:16,096 --> 00:50:18,515 ...the president's life is at stake, to say nothing of our planet! 970 00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:20,934 What this impostor will say at the Heads of State conference 971 00:50:21,059 --> 00:50:23,603 in Paris on Friday, God only knows! 972 00:50:24,229 --> 00:50:25,439 [Valentino] Un momento. 973 00:50:25,939 --> 00:50:27,190 Don't think for a minute 974 00:50:27,315 --> 00:50:29,651 that Marshal Dix is doing nothing up here. 975 00:50:29,776 --> 00:50:33,572 He's dealing with one of the most important men of the American government. 976 00:50:33,697 --> 00:50:37,492 This guy lives in a big, huge white house, 977 00:50:38,035 --> 00:50:39,619 but I can't tell you who is him. 978 00:50:40,537 --> 00:50:42,789 [whimsical, suspenseful music] 979 00:50:47,878 --> 00:50:49,129 Cassandra? 980 00:50:52,883 --> 00:50:53,800 Cassandra? 981 00:50:56,261 --> 00:50:57,429 [squishes] 982 00:50:59,514 --> 00:51:02,142 [rattling] 983 00:51:02,851 --> 00:51:05,562 [grunting] 984 00:51:06,146 --> 00:51:09,149 [grunting increases] 985 00:51:13,236 --> 00:51:14,863 -[ripping] -[grunts] 986 00:51:14,988 --> 00:51:17,032 [indistinct grumbling] 987 00:51:17,157 --> 00:51:19,409 [playful music] 988 00:51:28,460 --> 00:51:32,589 Wait a minute. You mean the president is a prisoner here on Vegan? 989 00:51:32,714 --> 00:51:35,467 -How did you know? -You just told us, man! 990 00:51:35,592 --> 00:51:38,095 -A fanculo. I did not. -Yes, you did. 991 00:51:38,220 --> 00:51:39,721 -I did? -[both] Yes. 992 00:51:39,846 --> 00:51:41,556 [man coughs] Was that a cough drop you gave me? 993 00:51:41,681 --> 00:51:44,017 -No, it was a suppository. -[man exclaims indistinctly] 994 00:51:44,476 --> 00:51:46,686 -[door whirring] -Dr. Griffin Pratt? 995 00:51:46,812 --> 00:51:48,522 I hope you don't think there's anything you missed 996 00:51:48,647 --> 00:51:51,525 -the other night, Marshal. -Just one thing. You. 997 00:51:51,650 --> 00:51:53,527 You're under arrest. You have a right to remain silent. 998 00:51:53,652 --> 00:51:55,112 Before you say another word, 999 00:51:55,779 --> 00:51:57,447 there's something I want you to know. 1000 00:51:57,572 --> 00:52:01,201 I've been ordered to reconstitute the president. 1001 00:52:01,326 --> 00:52:03,078 "Reconstitute"? What does that mean? 1002 00:52:03,203 --> 00:52:06,039 Drain all his body fluids. 1003 00:52:06,748 --> 00:52:08,375 [grunts] What's that, some sort of enema? 1004 00:52:08,542 --> 00:52:11,169 No, no, no. Drain all his blood, 1005 00:52:11,294 --> 00:52:14,089 then reconstitute it into refined plasma 1006 00:52:14,214 --> 00:52:16,591 ready to activate the clone. 1007 00:52:16,716 --> 00:52:18,552 -Wouldn't that kill him? -Most certainly. 1008 00:52:18,677 --> 00:52:21,012 -I thought so. -Now, please understand me, Marshal. 1009 00:52:21,138 --> 00:52:23,473 The thought of killing the president has kept me up all night! 1010 00:52:24,224 --> 00:52:27,477 Well, to be perfectly honest, I may have dozed off once or twice, 1011 00:52:27,602 --> 00:52:29,396 so let's say at least half the night. 1012 00:52:29,521 --> 00:52:33,275 I don't know how I allowed this to happen. It's very confusing. 1013 00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:36,570 I feel as though I've been drugged or brainwashed or whatever they did to me. 1014 00:52:36,736 --> 00:52:39,906 But your words last night about Chief Ten Bears 1015 00:52:40,073 --> 00:52:42,033 and... Josey Eastwood-- 1016 00:52:42,159 --> 00:52:45,579 -Uh, Clint Eastwood. -Eastwood! Brought me to my senses. 1017 00:52:45,745 --> 00:52:47,581 And I must undo the damage I've done, 1018 00:52:47,747 --> 00:52:49,291 which is why I want to take you to the president 1019 00:52:49,416 --> 00:52:51,001 and help you get him out of here. 1020 00:52:51,126 --> 00:52:52,919 But we'll have to move fast. 1021 00:52:53,044 --> 00:52:55,714 Faster than you think. I just came from Cassandra's apartment. 1022 00:52:55,839 --> 00:52:56,882 She's been kidnapped. 1023 00:52:57,007 --> 00:52:59,426 Kidnapped? Abducted? 1024 00:52:59,551 --> 00:53:01,386 Well, we won't know that till we talk with her. 1025 00:53:01,511 --> 00:53:03,388 Up till now, it's just a simple kidnapping. 1026 00:53:03,513 --> 00:53:05,891 She left a note in glue on her door. 1027 00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:09,186 See? It says, "Help," spelled backwards. 1028 00:53:09,311 --> 00:53:10,937 H-E-L-P. 1029 00:53:11,062 --> 00:53:12,355 Ah. 1030 00:53:13,231 --> 00:53:14,399 We'd better get moving. 1031 00:53:14,941 --> 00:53:17,027 There may be two lives we have to save. 1032 00:53:17,152 --> 00:53:19,154 [dramatic music] 1033 00:53:19,279 --> 00:53:22,449 -This is the easiest way to get to the president. -[elevator chiming] 1034 00:53:24,451 --> 00:53:26,077 But whatever you do, don't touch that... 1035 00:53:26,203 --> 00:53:28,079 -[woman on PA] Turbo power enabled. -[shouts] button! 1036 00:53:28,705 --> 00:53:31,750 -Get off my face! -[whooshing] 1037 00:53:33,960 --> 00:53:34,961 Follow me. 1038 00:53:35,086 --> 00:53:37,297 [suspenseful music] 1039 00:53:45,639 --> 00:53:48,642 Put this on. You'll be less conspicuous. 1040 00:53:49,601 --> 00:53:51,311 -[soft dripping] -Oh-- 1041 00:53:52,312 --> 00:53:54,856 -[aliens humming] -[soft rattling] 1042 00:54:01,363 --> 00:54:02,989 -[chiming] -[door creaking] 1043 00:54:03,156 --> 00:54:04,908 Mr. Dix, meet... 1044 00:54:05,992 --> 00:54:06,910 ...the president. 1045 00:54:07,035 --> 00:54:09,579 [triumphant fanfare music] 1046 00:54:09,996 --> 00:54:10,997 [softly] Mm. 1047 00:54:13,291 --> 00:54:14,376 Mr. President? 1048 00:54:15,502 --> 00:54:20,382 -Is that really you? -That depends on what you mean by the word, "is." 1049 00:54:20,966 --> 00:54:22,050 Well... 1050 00:54:22,717 --> 00:54:24,844 -...are that really you? -Well, of course it's me. 1051 00:54:24,970 --> 00:54:27,264 I've been telling these people about my birthmark. 1052 00:54:27,389 --> 00:54:28,848 Here, take a look. 1053 00:54:29,474 --> 00:54:32,686 [screaming] 1054 00:54:34,688 --> 00:54:37,274 I'm the only man who's got a birthmark like that. 1055 00:54:37,399 --> 00:54:38,942 It's almost a perfect four-leaf clover. 1056 00:54:39,067 --> 00:54:41,820 Yes, sir, it looks like a four-leaf clover. 1057 00:54:41,945 --> 00:54:43,697 Yes, and if that's not sufficient, 1058 00:54:43,863 --> 00:54:45,865 then give me the name of someone who plays the saxophone 1059 00:54:45,991 --> 00:54:48,368 -as good as this. -[plays in off-key] 1060 00:54:48,535 --> 00:54:51,413 Uh, Mr. President... I'm convinced. 1061 00:54:51,997 --> 00:54:54,874 My name is Marshal Dix, International Security Force. 1062 00:54:55,041 --> 00:54:58,211 I'm here to take you back to Washington where you belong. 1063 00:54:58,378 --> 00:54:59,462 Great. 1064 00:55:00,171 --> 00:55:02,215 -[ominous music] -[door whirring] 1065 00:55:02,382 --> 00:55:06,469 [muffled grunting] 1066 00:55:10,598 --> 00:55:13,893 -Yeah! -Cassandra, when did you get here? 1067 00:55:14,060 --> 00:55:15,145 -[ripping] -[groans] 1068 00:55:15,895 --> 00:55:17,689 -What? -Surely you didn't think it would be as easy 1069 00:55:17,814 --> 00:55:19,691 as all that, did you, Dix? 1070 00:55:19,816 --> 00:55:23,486 Now, who would you like to become, a Rodman or a Rodham? 1071 00:55:23,611 --> 00:55:25,155 -Mm. -Oh, dear. 1072 00:55:25,697 --> 00:55:27,282 The president's looking a little upset. 1073 00:55:27,407 --> 00:55:30,994 -Perhaps we should switch him with Cassandra. -[gasps] 1074 00:55:31,119 --> 00:55:33,246 All right. That does it. 1075 00:55:33,705 --> 00:55:37,459 You're under arrest. So are these bozos here. 1076 00:55:37,584 --> 00:55:39,669 You have a right to remain silent. 1077 00:55:39,794 --> 00:55:41,504 Anything you say will be written down... 1078 00:55:41,629 --> 00:55:43,089 -[clattering] -...and used against you. 1079 00:55:43,256 --> 00:55:44,257 Seize them! 1080 00:55:44,424 --> 00:55:46,509 -[dramatic music] -[grunting] 1081 00:55:48,887 --> 00:55:51,264 -[thudding] -[grunting] 1082 00:55:51,765 --> 00:55:53,183 -[thudding] -[alien groans] 1083 00:55:53,725 --> 00:55:55,310 -[grunts] -[yelling] 1084 00:55:55,435 --> 00:55:58,980 [Dix] Such grace, such poetry. 1085 00:55:59,606 --> 00:56:01,733 What a cunning stunt. 1086 00:56:01,858 --> 00:56:04,486 Any more from you jerks, and I rip your faces off! 1087 00:56:04,611 --> 00:56:07,280 I was a sucker for all that romantic talk. 1088 00:56:07,447 --> 00:56:09,157 -[grunting and groaning continue] -This young woman 1089 00:56:09,282 --> 00:56:11,034 could not only sing like a dove, she was blessed 1090 00:56:11,159 --> 00:56:13,286 with a serene peace that would've been at home 1091 00:56:13,453 --> 00:56:15,163 in a Tibetan monastery. 1092 00:56:15,830 --> 00:56:19,876 She had everything. The delicate footwork of a ballet dancer, 1093 00:56:20,001 --> 00:56:22,045 the high kicks of a Rockette. 1094 00:56:22,170 --> 00:56:24,964 Boy, did I love those high kicks! 1095 00:56:25,673 --> 00:56:26,883 -[thudding] -[alien groaning] 1096 00:56:27,008 --> 00:56:29,636 Very impressive, but now, as they say, 1097 00:56:29,803 --> 00:56:32,806 -it's your turn to bite the dust-- [yells] -[Cassandra grunts] Yeehaw! 1098 00:56:32,931 --> 00:56:35,725 -[panting] -[alien and Griffin groaning] 1099 00:56:35,850 --> 00:56:38,478 -[glass shatters] -[groans] 1100 00:56:38,645 --> 00:56:40,397 I'm glad you were here. 1101 00:56:41,106 --> 00:56:42,399 I feel safe with you. 1102 00:56:42,524 --> 00:56:44,984 Let's not talk about me. We gotta get out of here. 1103 00:56:45,110 --> 00:56:47,445 -Follow her, Mr. President, quick! -Mm-hmm. 1104 00:56:49,030 --> 00:56:50,031 [groans] 1105 00:56:50,156 --> 00:56:52,242 [music continues] 1106 00:56:52,367 --> 00:56:53,827 -[Dix] Captain Pasquale. -Yes. 1107 00:56:53,952 --> 00:56:55,537 See if you can locate Lieutenant Shitzu 1108 00:56:55,662 --> 00:56:57,455 -and Dr. Künstler. -Yes. 1109 00:56:57,580 --> 00:56:58,998 Meet us out in front of the Research Center. 1110 00:56:59,124 --> 00:57:00,959 -Yes. -We're heading for Washington, DC, 1111 00:57:01,084 --> 00:57:03,420 and the White House, and bring your makeup case. 1112 00:57:03,545 --> 00:57:04,754 -Done. -[static] 1113 00:57:07,048 --> 00:57:08,007 Who was this guy? 1114 00:57:08,133 --> 00:57:09,134 Come on, all of you! 1115 00:57:09,259 --> 00:57:10,635 Rubelt, up you get, come on. 1116 00:57:10,760 --> 00:57:12,053 Kunic! Pull yourself together. 1117 00:57:12,178 --> 00:57:14,848 Get up. That's it. Good boys, good boys. 1118 00:57:14,973 --> 00:57:18,726 -[growling] -No, no, no! Wait. Let them go. 1119 00:57:21,604 --> 00:57:24,524 [Dix] Di Pasquale worked hard and fast to disguise the president 1120 00:57:24,691 --> 00:57:28,445 -as Fidel Castro or ZZ Top, take your pick. -Sorry-- [speaks indistinctly] 1121 00:57:28,570 --> 00:57:30,613 -Anyway, it was the perfect way... -Sorry. Sorry. 1122 00:57:30,738 --> 00:57:32,657 -...to get to Washington. -[president] Man, this beard itches! 1123 00:57:32,782 --> 00:57:34,784 -Step back. Step-- Oh, sorry. -...it's me, it's me-- 1124 00:57:34,909 --> 00:57:36,536 -Okay, yeah. Thank you-- -Step back. 1125 00:57:36,703 --> 00:57:37,954 -Thank you. Please. -Please. 1126 00:57:38,413 --> 00:57:40,790 [president] I wonder if ZZ Top needs a sax player. 1127 00:57:40,915 --> 00:57:43,835 -[indistinct chatter] -[engine whirring] 1128 00:57:44,377 --> 00:57:48,089 [alien] ...my ship. My crew. Bones. Spock. 1129 00:57:48,840 --> 00:57:51,551 -[whirring] -[alarm blaring] 1130 00:57:52,218 --> 00:57:54,471 [rumbling] 1131 00:57:56,723 --> 00:58:00,143 [triumphant music] 1132 00:58:01,561 --> 00:58:03,771 [Dix] It was good to see Washington, DC, again, 1133 00:58:03,897 --> 00:58:05,899 -but we had no time to sightsee. -[siren blaring] 1134 00:58:06,065 --> 00:58:07,775 In a couple of days, that clone clown 1135 00:58:07,901 --> 00:58:09,819 would be shooting his mouth off in Paris. 1136 00:58:09,944 --> 00:58:12,030 I'd contacted Secretary Osgood. 1137 00:58:12,155 --> 00:58:14,908 He came up with a watertight plan to make the switch. 1138 00:58:16,117 --> 00:58:19,078 Okay, guys, uh, time for me to shake hands with Little Willie. 1139 00:58:19,746 --> 00:58:22,081 -[indistinct chatter] -[guard 1] Code Yellow, gentlemen, Code Yellow. 1140 00:58:22,207 --> 00:58:24,292 [Valentino] Marshal, did you bring an umbrella? 1141 00:58:24,417 --> 00:58:27,253 [Dix] No, just grab him before he takes aim. 1142 00:58:27,420 --> 00:58:28,963 [gasps] 1143 00:58:30,840 --> 00:58:32,926 -[guard 1] You okay there, sir? -[guard 2] Sir, everything all right? 1144 00:58:33,092 --> 00:58:34,928 -[Osgood] Uh-oh. -[president] Yeah, mission accomplished. 1145 00:58:35,053 --> 00:58:37,222 -Let's rock! -[guard 1] Oh. Yeah. 1146 00:58:37,347 --> 00:58:38,848 -[guard 2] All right. Well... -[guard 1] All right. 1147 00:58:38,973 --> 00:58:40,600 -...we are in motion-- -[guard 1] Let's go. 1148 00:58:41,309 --> 00:58:43,520 [Dix] Di Pasquale disguised the cloned president 1149 00:58:43,645 --> 00:58:45,772 -as somebody who nobody would think twice about... -[indistinct chatter] 1150 00:58:45,939 --> 00:58:49,943 -...a dirty, old man. -I'm gonna have the CIA cavity search you all! 1151 00:58:51,069 --> 00:58:54,447 -Yes! -[president] At the Three Tenors Gala Concert 1152 00:58:54,614 --> 00:58:57,116 in Paris this Friday night... 1153 00:58:57,617 --> 00:59:00,495 ...following the International Heads of State Conference, 1154 00:59:00,620 --> 00:59:05,917 I will announce changes that will benefit the future of our world forever. 1155 00:59:06,042 --> 00:59:08,127 Good job. Well done, everyone. 1156 00:59:08,628 --> 00:59:11,965 Now, all that remains is to get our friend off to clone heaven. 1157 00:59:12,090 --> 00:59:14,342 We have kept Earth to ourselves 1158 00:59:14,467 --> 00:59:16,302 -for far too long. -What? 1159 00:59:16,427 --> 00:59:18,805 In the spirit of intergalactic harmony... 1160 00:59:18,972 --> 00:59:22,141 -[Shitzu] Hey, that's Dr. Pratt. -Yeah, yeah. Uh, it's him! 1161 00:59:22,308 --> 00:59:25,144 -Yes. -...we must be willing to reach out... 1162 00:59:25,270 --> 00:59:27,814 Please, there are forces at work here. 1163 00:59:27,939 --> 00:59:30,066 Let's just forget about it and move on. 1164 00:59:30,191 --> 00:59:31,818 -[indistinct chatter on TV] -[light suspenseful music] 1165 00:59:31,985 --> 00:59:33,903 Now, someone give me a hand getting our impostor 1166 00:59:34,028 --> 00:59:35,238 -out of here. -[muffled shouts] 1167 00:59:35,363 --> 00:59:36,489 Uh, no, just a minute. 1168 00:59:36,823 --> 00:59:38,074 Moving a little too fast here. 1169 00:59:38,199 --> 00:59:39,867 I think that there are forces at work, 1170 00:59:39,993 --> 00:59:41,786 but I don't think that they're our own. 1171 00:59:41,911 --> 00:59:43,496 More than possible that we've been set up 1172 00:59:43,621 --> 00:59:45,873 -to put a clone on the White House. -[muffled groans] 1173 00:59:45,999 --> 00:59:48,960 -And take the real president out. -Right. 1174 00:59:51,254 --> 00:59:53,673 -Why are you the president? -Because of the birthmark. 1175 00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:57,010 -The birthmark! I saw the birthmark. -Your birthmark proves nothing. 1176 00:59:57,176 --> 00:59:59,053 When you're cloned, your birthmark is cloned too. 1177 00:59:59,178 --> 01:00:01,973 -[Dix] Right. -But I don't have a birthmark. 1178 01:00:02,098 --> 01:00:05,226 I had it removed three months ago. Personal reasons. 1179 01:00:05,351 --> 01:00:07,854 If you'll give me a little help, I'll show you. 1180 01:00:11,274 --> 01:00:12,191 [sighs] 1181 01:00:14,861 --> 01:00:17,405 [screaming] 1182 01:00:17,780 --> 01:00:20,074 -Oh, my God. -Dr. Künstler, 1183 01:00:20,199 --> 01:00:23,369 the birthmark should be on the side, not on the front. 1184 01:00:23,703 --> 01:00:25,079 We can see where there was something, 1185 01:00:25,204 --> 01:00:26,831 but there's no birthmark there now. 1186 01:00:26,956 --> 01:00:28,583 There's a simple solution. 1187 01:00:30,627 --> 01:00:32,128 -One dead president. -[gun cocks] 1188 01:00:32,253 --> 01:00:35,548 So, it's not just Dr. Pratt. It's you too. 1189 01:00:35,673 --> 01:00:37,383 Very good, Dix. 1190 01:00:37,508 --> 01:00:38,468 -[grunts] -[Osgood groans] 1191 01:00:38,593 --> 01:00:39,844 [thudding] 1192 01:00:40,553 --> 01:00:43,723 -Now, that really was a job well done. -[chuckles] 1193 01:00:43,848 --> 01:00:45,558 Not well enough done, Mr. President. 1194 01:00:45,892 --> 01:00:49,062 Do you know anybody you can trust that can get us to Paris? 1195 01:00:49,562 --> 01:00:51,105 -Yes. -[light triumphant music] 1196 01:00:51,230 --> 01:00:53,107 [Dix] The president's intent was genuine, 1197 01:00:53,232 --> 01:00:55,401 -but his travel plans didn't fly. -[clattering] 1198 01:00:55,568 --> 01:00:59,072 Then, suddenly, our luck turned full circle, and we were airborne. 1199 01:01:00,615 --> 01:01:02,867 [engine rumbling] 1200 01:01:05,787 --> 01:01:09,207 [Dix] The job was to undo what I had already undone. 1201 01:01:09,332 --> 01:01:10,917 There was a clone already in Paris 1202 01:01:11,042 --> 01:01:12,585 who looked exactly like the president, 1203 01:01:12,752 --> 01:01:15,421 and he had a birthmark on his left hip to prove it. 1204 01:01:15,588 --> 01:01:17,090 We had the real president, 1205 01:01:17,256 --> 01:01:18,800 but he had removed the birthmark, 1206 01:01:18,925 --> 01:01:21,177 so we couldn't prove anything. 1207 01:01:21,594 --> 01:01:24,305 How it would all be worked out, I didn't know, 1208 01:01:24,430 --> 01:01:27,225 but I did know that the president had to make every effort 1209 01:01:27,350 --> 01:01:29,143 -to keep his pants on. -[camera shutter clicking] 1210 01:01:29,268 --> 01:01:31,187 -[indistinct chatter] -[upbeat classical music playing] 1211 01:01:31,312 --> 01:01:34,774 -[reporter] Madonna. -Ooh. Ah! 1212 01:01:35,441 --> 01:01:36,776 [drumming] 1213 01:01:38,444 --> 01:01:41,989 -[crowd clapping] -How are you? Good to see you. Thank you very much. 1214 01:01:42,115 --> 01:01:45,076 [speaks inaudibly] Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you very much. 1215 01:01:45,201 --> 01:01:47,453 Thank you so much for being here. Bonjour. Bonjour. 1216 01:01:47,620 --> 01:01:51,749 [man in French accent] Let's see. What is a four-letter word for "word"? 1217 01:01:52,750 --> 01:01:55,795 -[camera shutter clicking] -[woman shouts in the distance] Madonna! 1218 01:01:57,463 --> 01:01:58,965 [in French accent] Do you have reservations? 1219 01:01:59,090 --> 01:02:00,758 [in fake foreign accent] Yeah. Uh, reservations 1220 01:02:00,883 --> 01:02:04,303 about being asked if we have reservations. 1221 01:02:04,429 --> 01:02:06,973 In America, they have Indians, they have reservations, 1222 01:02:07,140 --> 01:02:09,392 but no one asks if they have them. 1223 01:02:09,517 --> 01:02:11,352 Bonjour. Yankee Doodle. 1224 01:02:11,477 --> 01:02:12,687 [beeping and buzzing] 1225 01:02:18,151 --> 01:02:21,863 -What is that? -That is a hockey cup. 1226 01:02:21,988 --> 01:02:25,074 -Hockey? -Yeah, I use it to play sand hockey 1227 01:02:25,199 --> 01:02:28,161 -in the desert. -Do you have identification? 1228 01:02:28,286 --> 01:02:31,831 -Well, uh, yeah-- -[Shitzu] Ah! Prince Yabuti of Jabuti. 1229 01:02:31,998 --> 01:02:34,333 Good to see you, you son of a-- 1230 01:02:35,168 --> 01:02:37,545 Take this. It's me, Shitzu. 1231 01:02:38,129 --> 01:02:41,507 Good to see you. Good to see you. Oh, my God! 1232 01:02:43,593 --> 01:02:46,179 I had to wear this. This is the only outfit Dr. Pratt wouldn't look under. 1233 01:02:46,345 --> 01:02:49,015 -Are too conspicuous. -Me? How about you? 1234 01:02:49,140 --> 01:02:50,850 That Arab accent, it sounds kinda German. 1235 01:02:50,975 --> 01:02:52,727 We got Cassandra in the orchestra. 1236 01:02:53,227 --> 01:02:54,020 Okay. 1237 01:02:54,145 --> 01:02:55,897 -Ah, yes. -Hey! 1238 01:02:58,024 --> 01:02:59,525 [beeping and buzzing] 1239 01:02:59,942 --> 01:03:01,194 [chuckles] 1240 01:03:03,529 --> 01:03:07,575 -Ah! Well, it is a rat trap... -[snapping] 1241 01:03:07,700 --> 01:03:11,078 -[groans] Do you have an invitation? -...they said they-- 1242 01:03:11,204 --> 01:03:13,748 -[grunts] How did you-- -Yes, of course. 1243 01:03:17,126 --> 01:03:19,670 "The artist formerly known as--" 1244 01:03:19,796 --> 01:03:21,088 It is Prince in disguise. 1245 01:03:21,214 --> 01:03:22,590 -[camera shutters clicking] -Excuse me, 1246 01:03:22,715 --> 01:03:25,301 Mr. Formerly-Know-As. Smile, please. [chuckles] 1247 01:03:25,426 --> 01:03:29,972 -Oh. -Wait! You're not the artist formerly known as Prince. 1248 01:03:30,431 --> 01:03:31,766 -The real artist is over here. -Yeah. 1249 01:03:31,891 --> 01:03:33,518 [indistinct chatter] 1250 01:03:33,643 --> 01:03:35,895 -[crowd clapping] -[president] Oh, man, it's the pope. 1251 01:03:36,062 --> 01:03:38,731 Come on, Dix. Let's get out of here before he corners me. 1252 01:03:38,856 --> 01:03:40,483 [heavenly music] 1253 01:03:40,608 --> 01:03:41,651 Bless you. 1254 01:03:41,776 --> 01:03:42,860 Oh, great. 1255 01:03:43,236 --> 01:03:45,404 They're serving Italian dinner here tonight. 1256 01:03:45,947 --> 01:03:47,740 I think I'll have the toreador. 1257 01:03:47,907 --> 01:03:49,575 Gracias. Gracias. 1258 01:03:49,700 --> 01:03:52,078 [indistinct chatter] 1259 01:03:56,040 --> 01:03:59,043 [man 1] Yabuti? Yabuti, you camel! 1260 01:03:59,168 --> 01:04:01,087 -Huh? -Pay me what you owe me! 1261 01:04:01,254 --> 01:04:02,421 -[screams] -[clattering] 1262 01:04:02,547 --> 01:04:04,423 [groaning] 1263 01:04:05,591 --> 01:04:07,093 [indistinct chatter] 1264 01:04:08,386 --> 01:04:11,097 That's all right. I'm okay. 1265 01:04:11,264 --> 01:04:12,181 [growls] 1266 01:04:12,849 --> 01:04:16,227 -[exclaims] -Keep a low profile. Did he call me a camel? 1267 01:04:16,352 --> 01:04:18,479 -Hey! -[cross talk] 1268 01:04:18,604 --> 01:04:19,772 [woman] That's mine! 1269 01:04:19,897 --> 01:04:21,023 [man 2] My head is spinning. 1270 01:04:21,148 --> 01:04:23,401 [cheerful classical music playing] 1271 01:04:26,946 --> 01:04:30,700 They wanted you to play a saxophone solo after which intermission? 1272 01:04:31,117 --> 01:04:34,620 [president] The White House itinerary said, after the first intermission, 1273 01:04:34,787 --> 01:04:39,166 that I would ride up and appear magically on stage through a trapdoor. 1274 01:04:39,292 --> 01:04:41,669 -But we don't have the sax. -We will. 1275 01:04:41,794 --> 01:04:46,007 -Hey. Hello. [chuckles] Do you wanna taste an ice cream? -[scoffs] 1276 01:04:46,132 --> 01:04:48,759 It's very, very good. Take it, take it! 1277 01:04:49,385 --> 01:04:53,055 Or maybe you like vanilla. Vanilla is wonderful. 1278 01:04:53,180 --> 01:04:56,851 The best Italian flavor, pistachio. [speaks in Italian] 1279 01:04:56,976 --> 01:04:58,561 -You like ice cream. -Non! 1280 01:04:58,686 --> 01:05:01,439 No. Thank you very much. Thank you. [chuckling] 1281 01:05:01,564 --> 01:05:04,650 -Gelati! Gelati! -[crowd clapping] 1282 01:05:04,775 --> 01:05:05,943 Gelati! 1283 01:05:06,485 --> 01:05:09,947 -[plays the flute] -[indistinct chatter] 1284 01:05:16,162 --> 01:05:18,915 -[gasps] -[man shouts indistinctly] 1285 01:05:20,458 --> 01:05:22,209 [grunting] 1286 01:05:22,793 --> 01:05:24,587 My sax! Hello. Oh, no! 1287 01:05:24,712 --> 01:05:26,672 [clapping continues] 1288 01:05:26,797 --> 01:05:29,008 [crowd cheering and whistling] 1289 01:05:39,685 --> 01:05:43,564 -Ice cream! [speaks in Italian] -Hmm? 1290 01:05:43,689 --> 01:05:46,192 -Ice cream. -[Valentino] Oh, signora, congratulations. 1291 01:05:46,359 --> 01:05:49,111 -This is a great ice cream. It's the best-- -Hmm? 1292 01:05:49,236 --> 01:05:51,364 -What? Please. Please. -You will have to move. You will have to move. 1293 01:05:51,530 --> 01:05:52,907 -No-- [speaks indistinctly] -Please! You can't stop commerce. 1294 01:05:53,032 --> 01:05:54,492 -[guard] No. No-- -Let it go. Let it go! 1295 01:05:55,785 --> 01:05:57,078 -Ow! -Oh. 1296 01:05:57,578 --> 01:05:59,038 Ah. Shit! 1297 01:05:59,163 --> 01:06:01,874 Oh, oh, I-- I'm sorry, Mrs. President. 1298 01:06:02,041 --> 01:06:03,167 I'm really sorry. Sorry! 1299 01:06:03,292 --> 01:06:05,127 Eh, no, no, it was only an accident. 1300 01:06:05,252 --> 01:06:07,046 Eh, y-- you see, it was only an accident. [chuckles] 1301 01:06:07,213 --> 01:06:09,173 We got this. Go back to work, go back to work. All right. All right. 1302 01:06:09,298 --> 01:06:11,342 Go back to work. Thank you. Thanks for stopping by. Thank you. 1303 01:06:11,467 --> 01:06:13,177 I see our friends are here. 1304 01:06:13,678 --> 01:06:15,304 -Do you want an ice cream? -[mumbles indistinctly] 1305 01:06:15,429 --> 01:06:18,516 I think we better alert the police. [sighs] 1306 01:06:18,641 --> 01:06:21,227 -[grunts] -[indistinct chatter] 1307 01:06:23,562 --> 01:06:25,648 ["William Tell" by Gioachino Rossini playing] 1308 01:06:25,773 --> 01:06:28,442 [Uschi softly] I think I'd better go check to find out what's going on. 1309 01:06:31,946 --> 01:06:33,906 [humming] 1310 01:06:34,031 --> 01:06:36,158 Looks like the gang is all here. 1311 01:06:39,870 --> 01:06:41,998 Mm. Ice cream. 1312 01:06:45,251 --> 01:06:46,919 [Griffin] One is disguised as a vendor, 1313 01:06:47,086 --> 01:06:50,172 the other one's wearing a French policeman's uniform. 1314 01:06:50,297 --> 01:06:52,758 -What? Merde. -Inspector Wazoo. 1315 01:06:53,134 --> 01:06:55,052 The president's life may be at stake. 1316 01:06:55,177 --> 01:06:56,554 [speaks in French] 1317 01:06:57,138 --> 01:07:00,516 We will search the place from top to bottom. 1318 01:07:00,641 --> 01:07:02,435 [speaking in French] 1319 01:07:02,852 --> 01:07:05,855 We knew where they were at the hotel in Washington, didn't we, Osgood? 1320 01:07:06,355 --> 01:07:09,942 You had to be there. You were busy being the man in the moon. I was there. 1321 01:07:10,401 --> 01:07:12,111 The only place they could possibly make the switch 1322 01:07:12,278 --> 01:07:14,447 is under the stage by the trapdoor lifts. 1323 01:07:15,114 --> 01:07:16,407 Let's take a look, shall we? 1324 01:07:16,866 --> 01:07:19,493 Let's go get your saxophone, check backstage. 1325 01:07:19,618 --> 01:07:21,245 They won't look at those trapdoors. 1326 01:07:21,370 --> 01:07:23,748 Oh, what did the Japanese delegation say? 1327 01:07:23,873 --> 01:07:26,542 [chuckles] Oh, you can't understand a word they say. 1328 01:07:26,667 --> 01:07:29,003 They said, uh, "Would I enjoy sushi?" 1329 01:07:29,128 --> 01:07:31,172 -And? -Well, I said, "Sure thing, man. 1330 01:07:31,297 --> 01:07:33,674 -Send Susie to my room." -[scoffs] 1331 01:07:33,799 --> 01:07:36,969 Oh, I'm just kidding. You can trust me, baby. [chuckles] 1332 01:07:37,344 --> 01:07:39,597 [crowd cheering and clapping] 1333 01:07:41,515 --> 01:07:44,185 Nice. Good one. Uh-huh, uh-huh. 1334 01:07:45,144 --> 01:07:47,563 [soft creaking] 1335 01:07:50,316 --> 01:07:52,568 [Cheering and clapping increase] 1336 01:08:05,164 --> 01:08:06,332 [Luciano] Maestro! 1337 01:08:07,917 --> 01:08:09,043 [clears throat] 1338 01:08:10,669 --> 01:08:13,130 ["Les Toreadors Carmen" by Georges Bizet playing] 1339 01:08:25,226 --> 01:08:26,685 [humming] 1340 01:08:35,319 --> 01:08:37,196 -Hey, this isn't rap concert! -[gasping] 1341 01:08:37,321 --> 01:08:40,699 -I hate opera! -[men groaning] 1342 01:08:54,255 --> 01:08:55,214 Take this. 1343 01:08:55,381 --> 01:08:57,091 Ditch the Arab disguises. 1344 01:08:57,216 --> 01:08:58,300 They're checking everyone. 1345 01:08:58,968 --> 01:09:01,387 -Hey! [shouts indistinctly] -[indistinct shouting] 1346 01:09:08,936 --> 01:09:11,188 [crowd clapping and cheering] 1347 01:09:14,233 --> 01:09:15,985 -Fantastic. -[Valentino] Oh! 1348 01:09:16,110 --> 01:09:17,236 Hey. 1349 01:09:17,695 --> 01:09:18,654 Huh? 1350 01:09:19,238 --> 01:09:20,322 Maestro. 1351 01:09:22,533 --> 01:09:26,245 -Come on, let's go! -[president] Maybe there'll be some costumes under the stage. 1352 01:09:27,746 --> 01:09:30,583 -[screaming] -[whirring] 1353 01:09:31,542 --> 01:09:33,586 -Are you okay? Who cares? -Yes. 1354 01:09:33,711 --> 01:09:34,962 [indistinct singing in the distance] 1355 01:09:35,087 --> 01:09:36,589 -Where are we? -Where are we? 1356 01:09:36,714 --> 01:09:38,674 Under the stage! What do you think, it's the roof? 1357 01:09:39,842 --> 01:09:42,469 Uh, all right. There must be something in here. 1358 01:09:42,595 --> 01:09:43,762 Now, you're gonna have to stay in that outfit 1359 01:09:43,929 --> 01:09:45,431 so you can keep your face covered. 1360 01:09:46,265 --> 01:09:49,059 Maybe there's something here for me so we won't look 1361 01:09:49,185 --> 01:09:50,269 so much like a team. 1362 01:09:50,436 --> 01:09:52,229 -It's a good idea, Dix. -Ah. 1363 01:09:52,354 --> 01:09:53,647 [rattling] 1364 01:09:54,106 --> 01:09:56,192 Be mostly women's clothes here. 1365 01:09:57,151 --> 01:09:59,361 [clattering] 1366 01:10:00,112 --> 01:10:03,282 -Allo? -[whimsical, suspenseful music] 1367 01:10:05,242 --> 01:10:06,452 -Allo? -[grunting] 1368 01:10:06,827 --> 01:10:09,038 [president] Oui. Oui. Uh, allo. 1369 01:10:09,622 --> 01:10:12,958 Ah, that's a real nice prop there, uh, Maestro. 1370 01:10:13,125 --> 01:10:16,670 -[in French accent] Maestro, is that you? -Yeah, yeah, it's the maestro. 1371 01:10:17,254 --> 01:10:18,923 It's me. 1372 01:10:19,590 --> 01:10:22,134 Oh. [chuckles] I heard this big crash. 1373 01:10:22,259 --> 01:10:25,596 -Are you all right? -Uh, it was, uh, uh, an accident. 1374 01:10:25,721 --> 01:10:28,390 [mutters indistinctly] I am changing my robe 1375 01:10:28,515 --> 01:10:31,310 as the pharaoh whose robe I use for singing 1376 01:10:31,435 --> 01:10:33,354 the Aria for Aida. 1377 01:10:33,979 --> 01:10:35,648 Oh, eh, pardon. 1378 01:10:36,899 --> 01:10:37,900 Uh-- 1379 01:10:38,692 --> 01:10:39,318 Oh. 1380 01:10:39,443 --> 01:10:41,153 [chuckles nervously] 1381 01:10:41,487 --> 01:10:42,655 Oh, là là. 1382 01:10:42,821 --> 01:10:45,241 I told you that they were not right. 1383 01:10:45,908 --> 01:10:49,286 Um, you know, this is probably the wrong time, 1384 01:10:49,411 --> 01:10:52,122 but could you just sing... [speaks in French] 1385 01:10:52,248 --> 01:10:53,832 ...a little note perhaps? 1386 01:10:53,999 --> 01:10:55,668 [Dix] Oh, uh-- uh, 1387 01:10:55,793 --> 01:10:57,836 Si. Si, si, si. [clears throat] 1388 01:10:57,962 --> 01:10:59,380 ♪ Molto grande ♪ 1389 01:10:59,505 --> 01:11:00,965 ♪ Molto grande ♪ 1390 01:11:01,090 --> 01:11:04,468 -♪ Molte grande Clementine... ♪ -Oh! 1391 01:11:04,593 --> 01:11:07,346 ♪ You are gone And I lost forever ♪ 1392 01:11:07,513 --> 01:11:10,516 ♪ Molte grande, Clementine ♪ 1393 01:11:10,683 --> 01:11:13,102 [chuckling] Oh! Merci. 1394 01:11:13,227 --> 01:11:15,187 -Oh, I'm sorry, these are-- -No, no, no, no, no. 1395 01:11:15,312 --> 01:11:17,523 You keep them as a memento. 1396 01:11:17,690 --> 01:11:20,192 They're not the right condom for my beard. 1397 01:11:20,359 --> 01:11:21,735 Oh! 1398 01:11:21,860 --> 01:11:23,696 Merci. I will cherish these. 1399 01:11:23,862 --> 01:11:26,198 -[speaking in Italian] -Merci beaucoup. 1400 01:11:26,323 --> 01:11:30,202 -[continues speaking in Italian] -[laughing] Oh. Ciao. 1401 01:11:30,327 --> 01:11:31,954 -[laughs] -[president] Bonjour. 1402 01:11:32,079 --> 01:11:33,998 [woman laughing] 1403 01:11:35,374 --> 01:11:36,834 [sighs and groans] 1404 01:11:37,710 --> 01:11:39,920 [crowd clapping and cheering] 1405 01:11:42,589 --> 01:11:45,384 ["In The Navy" by Village People playing] 1406 01:11:51,140 --> 01:11:52,266 What is this? 1407 01:11:52,391 --> 01:11:53,851 "What is this?" The platform. 1408 01:11:53,976 --> 01:11:55,644 Up and down. Up and down. 1409 01:11:56,103 --> 01:11:57,062 [clears throat] 1410 01:11:58,105 --> 01:12:01,900 ♪ Where can you find pleasure Search the world for treasure ♪ 1411 01:12:02,026 --> 01:12:05,446 -♪ Learn science, technology? ♪ -[crowd clapping] 1412 01:12:05,571 --> 01:12:09,575 -♪ Where can you begin to make Your dreams all come true ♪ -[humming] 1413 01:12:09,742 --> 01:12:13,329 ♪ On the land or on the sea? ♪ 1414 01:12:13,454 --> 01:12:17,416 ♪ Where can you learn to fly Play in sports and skin dive ♪ 1415 01:12:17,541 --> 01:12:20,336 ♪ Study oceanography? ♪ 1416 01:12:20,461 --> 01:12:22,588 [Valentino whistles] What the hell's this? 1417 01:12:23,964 --> 01:12:26,550 [speaks in French] You have pissed? 1418 01:12:27,426 --> 01:12:30,262 Well, I had one about three hours ago. Does that count? 1419 01:12:30,387 --> 01:12:31,972 Show me your piss. 1420 01:12:32,431 --> 01:12:35,267 -What? -I need a backstage piss. 1421 01:12:35,392 --> 01:12:36,435 Backstage, oh! 1422 01:12:36,560 --> 01:12:38,437 Oh, oh, uh-- [chuckles] 1423 01:12:38,979 --> 01:12:41,940 -Uh, yeah. -♪ ...in the Navy ♪ 1424 01:12:42,107 --> 01:12:43,692 ♪ In the Navy ♪ 1425 01:12:44,109 --> 01:12:46,111 [president] I think he said backstage "pass." 1426 01:12:46,236 --> 01:12:49,281 -♪ Protect the motherland ♪ -♪ In the Navy ♪ 1427 01:12:49,782 --> 01:12:51,367 ♪ Now come on And join your fellow men ♪ 1428 01:12:51,492 --> 01:12:54,370 -What is this? -Oh, don't touch the control panel, please. 1429 01:12:54,495 --> 01:12:57,373 This is where everything is controlled from, 1430 01:12:57,498 --> 01:12:59,500 inside that cabinet. 1431 01:12:59,625 --> 01:13:01,877 [crowd clapping rhythmically] 1432 01:13:03,545 --> 01:13:06,131 [crowd chanting indistinctly] 1433 01:13:07,216 --> 01:13:10,427 -♪ If you like adventure Don't you wait... ♪ -[shushes] 1434 01:13:10,552 --> 01:13:13,347 No one will get pissed while I'm here. 1435 01:13:13,472 --> 01:13:14,390 -[thudding] -[groans] 1436 01:13:14,515 --> 01:13:15,849 -[whirring] -Hmm? 1437 01:13:18,227 --> 01:13:19,561 -Ah. -Fix the controller! 1438 01:13:21,688 --> 01:13:24,108 -Fix it, fix it! -♪ Maybe you're too young ♪ 1439 01:13:24,233 --> 01:13:25,943 -♪ To join up today ♪ -[Osgood] Huh? 1440 01:13:26,068 --> 01:13:28,779 ♪ But don't you worry About a thing ♪ 1441 01:13:28,904 --> 01:13:34,034 -Up, please. Up! -♪ For I'm sure there will be always a good Navy ♪ 1442 01:13:34,159 --> 01:13:37,538 -♪ Protecting the land and sea ♪ -[grunts] 1443 01:13:37,663 --> 01:13:39,706 -♪ In the Navy ♪ -[groans] 1444 01:13:39,832 --> 01:13:41,375 ♪ You can sail the seven seas ♪ 1445 01:13:41,500 --> 01:13:43,001 ♪ In the Navy ♪ 1446 01:13:43,127 --> 01:13:45,129 ♪ Yes, you can put Your mind at ease ♪ 1447 01:13:45,254 --> 01:13:47,089 -♪ In the Navy ♪ -[shouting indistinctly] 1448 01:13:47,214 --> 01:13:49,967 [crowd clapping and cheering] 1449 01:13:51,176 --> 01:13:52,678 ♪ In the Navy ♪ 1450 01:13:52,845 --> 01:13:54,763 -[grunting] -♪ In the Navy ♪ 1451 01:13:54,888 --> 01:13:56,598 -[grunting] -♪ Protect the motherland ♪ 1452 01:13:56,723 --> 01:13:58,392 -♪ In The Navy ♪ -What the hell is going on? 1453 01:13:58,517 --> 01:13:59,601 Quicker! 1454 01:14:00,102 --> 01:14:01,979 -Huh? -♪ In the Navy ♪ 1455 01:14:02,104 --> 01:14:04,356 ♪ Come on and be bold Make a stand ♪ 1456 01:14:04,481 --> 01:14:06,150 -♪ In the Navy ♪ -Huh? 1457 01:14:06,275 --> 01:14:08,527 -♪ In the Navy ♪ -♪ In the Navy ♪ 1458 01:14:08,694 --> 01:14:10,696 -[crowd clapping rhythmically] -[grunting] 1459 01:14:10,863 --> 01:14:12,406 -[beeping and whirring] -[shouts indistinctly] 1460 01:14:12,531 --> 01:14:13,866 ♪ They want you, they want you ♪ 1461 01:14:14,032 --> 01:14:15,993 ♪ They want you As a new recruit ♪ 1462 01:14:16,118 --> 01:14:17,870 -♪ Who me? ♪ -♪ They want you They want you ♪ 1463 01:14:17,995 --> 01:14:19,413 ♪ They want you As a new recruit ♪ 1464 01:14:19,538 --> 01:14:20,956 [grunting and shouting] 1465 01:14:21,081 --> 01:14:23,584 [officer] Come out now! [continues indistinctly] 1466 01:14:26,295 --> 01:14:28,464 [indistinct shouting] 1467 01:14:29,715 --> 01:14:31,341 ♪ Hey, hey, look, man ♪ 1468 01:14:31,467 --> 01:14:34,720 ♪ I get seasick even watching it on TV! ♪ 1469 01:14:35,137 --> 01:14:37,347 -[grunting] -♪ They want you ♪ 1470 01:14:37,473 --> 01:14:40,225 -♪ My goodness! What am I gonna do... ♪ -♪ They want you! ♪ 1471 01:14:40,392 --> 01:14:42,019 ♪ ...in a submarine? ♪ 1472 01:14:42,769 --> 01:14:45,397 -♪ The want you ♪ -[officer] Going up! 1473 01:14:45,522 --> 01:14:46,482 [laughing] Hey! 1474 01:14:46,607 --> 01:14:49,026 ♪ They want you ♪ 1475 01:14:49,151 --> 01:14:50,527 ♪ In the Navy ♪ 1476 01:14:50,652 --> 01:14:52,696 [crowd cheering, clapping, and whistling] 1477 01:14:53,447 --> 01:14:57,326 -♪ In the Navy ♪ -♪ Yes, you can sail The seven seas ♪ 1478 01:14:57,451 --> 01:14:58,911 ♪ In the Navy ♪ 1479 01:14:59,077 --> 01:15:01,205 ♪ Yes, you can put Your mind at ease ♪ 1480 01:15:01,330 --> 01:15:02,748 ♪ In the Navy ♪ 1481 01:15:02,915 --> 01:15:04,791 ♪ Come on now People, make a stand ♪ 1482 01:15:04,917 --> 01:15:06,710 ♪ In the Navy ♪ 1483 01:15:06,835 --> 01:15:08,670 ♪ In the Navy ♪ 1484 01:15:08,795 --> 01:15:10,130 ♪ In the Navy ♪ 1485 01:15:10,255 --> 01:15:12,466 ♪ Come on Protect the motherland ♪ 1486 01:15:12,591 --> 01:15:14,092 ♪ In the Navy ♪ 1487 01:15:14,218 --> 01:15:16,261 ♪ Come on, now Join your fellow men ♪ 1488 01:15:16,386 --> 01:15:17,679 ♪ In the Navy ♪ 1489 01:15:17,804 --> 01:15:19,890 [clapping and cheering increase] 1490 01:15:20,015 --> 01:15:24,436 -♪ In the Navy ♪ -Whoo! Whoo! Le-- let's just go! 1491 01:15:24,811 --> 01:15:27,606 Whoo! Well done, John Travolta. 1492 01:15:27,731 --> 01:15:29,358 Burn, baby, burn! 1493 01:15:29,483 --> 01:15:31,860 -Could you find the weapon we left in there? -[Uschi] Yep. 1494 01:15:31,985 --> 01:15:34,071 If it looks like he's going to succeed, 1495 01:15:34,196 --> 01:15:36,740 -kill the president. -["Il Barbiere di Siviglia: Overture" by Gioachino Rossini] 1496 01:15:36,865 --> 01:15:38,492 The real one, that is. 1497 01:15:39,284 --> 01:15:41,870 [hysterical laughing] 1498 01:15:44,122 --> 01:15:46,750 [Luciano in the distance] Stage manager! Stage-- [shouts] 1499 01:15:46,875 --> 01:15:49,670 There you are! [speaks in Italian] 1500 01:15:49,795 --> 01:15:52,381 People are running around, moving the floors! 1501 01:15:52,506 --> 01:15:53,840 -Bastard! -Mm-hmm. 1502 01:15:53,966 --> 01:15:56,635 -I want them found and-- -[man] There's no one-- 1503 01:15:56,802 --> 01:15:58,971 Ah, shut up, you fool! 1504 01:15:59,096 --> 01:16:02,015 I go and rest now, and then I change my costumes 1505 01:16:02,140 --> 01:16:04,226 -for second act. When I come back... -[whimpering] 1506 01:16:04,351 --> 01:16:06,812 ...you have better have caught them or else-- 1507 01:16:06,979 --> 01:16:10,607 [grunting and shouting] Capisce? 1508 01:16:11,275 --> 01:16:13,986 [exhales heavily, pants] 1509 01:16:15,487 --> 01:16:17,406 -[indistinct chatter] -...hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Tell me about 1510 01:16:17,531 --> 01:16:19,491 the story about the woman that went to the doctor's office, she says, 1511 01:16:19,658 --> 01:16:21,702 "Doctor, I'm sick." He says, "What's wrong?" She says, "I don't know." 1512 01:16:21,827 --> 01:16:23,495 He says, "Well, I'ma take your temperature through your rectum." 1513 01:16:23,620 --> 01:16:25,163 [shouting] What is going down here? 1514 01:16:25,330 --> 01:16:26,373 -[groans in frustration] -[man grunts] 1515 01:16:26,498 --> 01:16:28,333 I am in outrage! 1516 01:16:29,167 --> 01:16:31,587 -[both gasp] -Oh, Maestro! Oh, 1517 01:16:31,712 --> 01:16:33,839 I have to thank you again for these. 1518 01:16:33,964 --> 01:16:36,341 You see, I kept them close to my heart! 1519 01:16:36,466 --> 01:16:39,720 Oh, what are you talking about? I did not give you anything. 1520 01:16:39,845 --> 01:16:43,473 Besides, my condoms are engraved with my portrait 1521 01:16:43,599 --> 01:16:45,475 and covered with fur. 1522 01:16:45,601 --> 01:16:49,521 U-- th-- the-- these are counterfeits! Now, out of my way! 1523 01:16:49,688 --> 01:16:52,524 [gasps] Counterfeits? Maestro! 1524 01:16:52,649 --> 01:16:54,026 [gasps, sighs] 1525 01:16:54,192 --> 01:16:56,194 [mumbling] ...keep an eye out. 1526 01:16:56,361 --> 01:16:59,114 ["Il Barbiere di Siviglia: Overture" continues] 1527 01:17:00,866 --> 01:17:03,368 Künstler is one of them. She's a super spy. 1528 01:17:03,535 --> 01:17:06,371 I told you she was a super, super-- suppository. 1529 01:17:06,538 --> 01:17:08,707 -I knew she was in bed with Pratt. -What? 1530 01:17:08,874 --> 01:17:11,543 And she had me over to her apartment, she did that dance for me, 1531 01:17:11,710 --> 01:17:14,338 -rubbed her body all over mine, used her tongue. -Huh? 1532 01:17:14,463 --> 01:17:16,256 That slut. A lap dance? 1533 01:17:16,381 --> 01:17:19,509 Could've been Lapland, Finland, Russia, any of those countries up there. 1534 01:17:19,968 --> 01:17:21,720 And what she told me about the lion, 1535 01:17:21,845 --> 01:17:24,306 they mate 45 times in three hours. 1536 01:17:24,431 --> 01:17:25,474 How many times? 1537 01:17:26,099 --> 01:17:27,851 -You just keep your eye on Künstler. -Oh. 1538 01:17:28,393 --> 01:17:31,063 She's got orders to kill the president if anything goes wrong. 1539 01:17:31,229 --> 01:17:33,148 She gets up on the table, he gets behind her. All of a sudden, 1540 01:17:33,273 --> 01:17:34,775 she starts saying... [mimics moaning] 1541 01:17:34,900 --> 01:17:37,069 -Wardrobe! Wardrobe! -[man] I'm coming. 1542 01:17:37,194 --> 01:17:40,364 -Where is my costume? -I know it was here. I hung it myself. 1543 01:17:40,489 --> 01:17:42,866 And I'll hang you myself if you don't find it! 1544 01:17:42,991 --> 01:17:47,537 Luciano, they have come to hear your voice, not to see your clothes. 1545 01:17:47,663 --> 01:17:49,748 You think the French won't notice 1546 01:17:49,873 --> 01:17:52,376 if I'm in the middle of an Italian battlefield, 1547 01:17:52,501 --> 01:17:56,254 fighting the Germans wearing American boxer shorts? 1548 01:17:56,380 --> 01:17:59,257 [singing] 1549 01:18:00,467 --> 01:18:02,094 [all singing] 1550 01:18:02,260 --> 01:18:04,304 "Hey, Doctor, that ain't my rectum." 1551 01:18:04,429 --> 01:18:06,890 He says, "Yeah. Well, that ain't my thermometer either." 1552 01:18:07,265 --> 01:18:09,184 [screaming] 1553 01:18:09,559 --> 01:18:12,145 Mr. President, we are ready for you now, sir. 1554 01:18:12,270 --> 01:18:14,940 -[indistinct chatter] -Well, I'm on. 1555 01:18:15,107 --> 01:18:16,441 Good luck, snookums. 1556 01:18:16,608 --> 01:18:18,860 ["Il Barbiere di Siviglia: Overture" continues] 1557 01:18:25,117 --> 01:18:27,285 President, no birthmark games tonight. 1558 01:18:27,452 --> 01:18:29,287 Just remember, you don't have one anymore, 1559 01:18:29,413 --> 01:18:31,289 but there's a clone out there who looks exactly like you 1560 01:18:31,456 --> 01:18:35,335 and he does have it. So you just... keep your pants on. 1561 01:18:35,460 --> 01:18:38,380 And keep your fingers crossed that Osgood won't remember 1562 01:18:38,505 --> 01:18:39,798 what he thought he saw in the hotel. 1563 01:18:39,923 --> 01:18:41,299 -Uh, won't remember... -Huh? 1564 01:18:41,800 --> 01:18:43,135 ...what he thought he saw in the hotel. 1565 01:18:43,301 --> 01:18:45,303 I thought that you thought that he didn't see 1566 01:18:45,429 --> 01:18:47,389 what he thought he saw in the hotel. I was right the first time. 1567 01:18:47,514 --> 01:18:49,599 -[shouting] First, there was the condoms! -[whimpering] 1568 01:18:49,725 --> 01:18:51,643 Now, they've stolen my costume! 1569 01:18:51,768 --> 01:18:53,895 -Still cannot find them! -[man shouts in the distance] Maestro, you're on! 1570 01:18:54,020 --> 01:18:55,147 -Sure. -[groans] 1571 01:18:55,272 --> 01:18:58,191 [inhales] Scusi. [screams] 1572 01:18:58,316 --> 01:19:00,360 ...or, uh, rather that he doesn't remember what, 1573 01:19:00,485 --> 01:19:03,780 what he, he, he thought he didn't see in the hotel. 1574 01:19:03,905 --> 01:19:07,409 Well, you'll remember. He didn't see the, uh, the birthmark, and-- 1575 01:19:10,537 --> 01:19:14,082 -[grunts] -Monsieur le Président, everything is checked and ready. 1576 01:19:14,207 --> 01:19:16,835 You can blow your instrument with confidence 1577 01:19:17,002 --> 01:19:20,797 knowing I will be here holding the fart. 1578 01:19:20,922 --> 01:19:25,177 [crowd clapping and whistling] 1579 01:19:33,101 --> 01:19:34,853 [clearing throats] 1580 01:19:37,522 --> 01:19:40,525 Thank you. Thank you. And now, ladies and gentlemen, 1581 01:19:40,650 --> 01:19:42,444 it gives me great pleasure 1582 01:19:42,569 --> 01:19:45,363 to introduce our surprise guest. 1583 01:19:45,530 --> 01:19:46,448 Hmm. 1584 01:19:46,573 --> 01:19:48,492 [playful rock music playing] 1585 01:19:48,617 --> 01:19:49,826 [crowd gasping] 1586 01:19:55,707 --> 01:19:56,958 Oh! 1587 01:20:02,380 --> 01:20:05,550 -So far so good. -Don't be a pessimist. 1588 01:20:11,890 --> 01:20:14,059 I like the way he blows his horn. 1589 01:20:14,226 --> 01:20:16,311 My son likes to toot too. 1590 01:20:19,981 --> 01:20:21,149 Let's go. 1591 01:20:24,361 --> 01:20:26,029 -[screams] -[thudding] 1592 01:20:26,613 --> 01:20:29,074 -[groans] -[president] Uh, are you all right? 1593 01:20:29,199 --> 01:20:31,243 [groaning continues] 1594 01:20:32,244 --> 01:20:34,996 [president] Here. Catch the saxophone. 1595 01:20:35,956 --> 01:20:37,249 -[clangs] -[Dix groans] 1596 01:20:43,880 --> 01:20:45,340 [president] Whee! 1597 01:20:47,592 --> 01:20:50,470 -What do we do now, Dix? -[Dix] I'll lower the trapdoor, Mr. President. 1598 01:20:50,595 --> 01:20:53,598 You get on it. Then you'll go up, and I'll bring the clone down 1599 01:20:53,723 --> 01:20:55,016 and put the arm on him. 1600 01:20:56,518 --> 01:20:57,519 He's good, eh? 1601 01:21:09,698 --> 01:21:10,824 Hmm? 1602 01:21:25,005 --> 01:21:25,964 What? 1603 01:21:26,089 --> 01:21:27,299 Two of them? 1604 01:21:27,841 --> 01:21:28,967 Huh? 1605 01:21:33,305 --> 01:21:34,514 [Luciano clears throat] 1606 01:21:36,099 --> 01:21:37,767 -[both grunting] -[Osgood] Me first. 1607 01:21:38,351 --> 01:21:40,478 -You! You messed things up for the last time! -Uh-- 1608 01:21:40,645 --> 01:21:43,023 -[grunting and groaning] -[buzzing and whirring] 1609 01:21:43,481 --> 01:21:44,858 [whirring] 1610 01:21:46,985 --> 01:21:48,111 Damn it! 1611 01:21:49,988 --> 01:21:50,822 Huh? 1612 01:21:50,989 --> 01:21:52,490 Here, piggy, piggy. Here. 1613 01:21:52,616 --> 01:21:56,161 -Sooey! Your presidency's about over. -[groaning] 1614 01:21:56,328 --> 01:21:57,871 -Oh? -[president] You've never even been to Arkansas. 1615 01:21:57,996 --> 01:21:59,456 You imposter! 1616 01:21:59,831 --> 01:22:00,916 -I'm gonna make-- -Huh? 1617 01:22:01,041 --> 01:22:02,500 -Stop-- -[both groaning] 1618 01:22:02,667 --> 01:22:04,669 [dramatic music] 1619 01:22:05,045 --> 01:22:06,087 -[grunting] You think you-- -[groans] 1620 01:22:06,212 --> 01:22:08,298 -[all gasp and groan] -Oh! 1621 01:22:08,423 --> 01:22:10,342 Yes! Oh! Oh. 1622 01:22:10,967 --> 01:22:12,677 -[grunts] -Guys-- 1623 01:22:12,802 --> 01:22:15,096 [indistinct chatter] 1624 01:22:15,513 --> 01:22:16,389 Aw. 1625 01:22:16,932 --> 01:22:18,183 Shut up! Now, there. 1626 01:22:20,602 --> 01:22:23,021 Who is who? 1627 01:22:23,521 --> 01:22:24,439 Hmm? 1628 01:22:24,981 --> 01:22:26,274 We have here... 1629 01:22:27,067 --> 01:22:28,693 ...two president. 1630 01:22:28,860 --> 01:22:29,778 -Two of them? -Oh. 1631 01:22:29,903 --> 01:22:31,196 My gosh, this could be 1632 01:22:31,321 --> 01:22:33,281 an intern's nightmare. 1633 01:22:33,406 --> 01:22:34,366 Two. 1634 01:22:34,866 --> 01:22:36,493 -Identical. -Mm. 1635 01:22:36,618 --> 01:22:38,912 Identical? Yes. 1636 01:22:39,037 --> 01:22:40,705 But are our memories the same? 1637 01:22:40,872 --> 01:22:44,042 Here's something I composed when I was six years old. 1638 01:22:44,501 --> 01:22:46,086 No one knows it. 1639 01:22:47,045 --> 01:22:49,589 [playing gentle music] 1640 01:22:54,761 --> 01:22:57,347 [playing gentle music] 1641 01:22:59,975 --> 01:23:03,186 -[exhales] -So... now, 1642 01:23:03,311 --> 01:23:05,605 who is the real president? 1643 01:23:05,730 --> 01:23:08,066 Okay. How about this one? 1644 01:23:08,191 --> 01:23:10,360 I learned it yesterday. 1645 01:23:11,236 --> 01:23:14,030 [playing jazz music] 1646 01:23:24,290 --> 01:23:25,750 -[plays in off-key] -[crowd] Oh. 1647 01:23:25,917 --> 01:23:28,420 -Ah. -[groans] 1648 01:23:28,920 --> 01:23:31,381 [hums and grunts] 1649 01:23:34,926 --> 01:23:38,346 It's not so good, huh? There's your clone, inspector. 1650 01:23:38,888 --> 01:23:42,600 He remembers everything about my life till the time he was cloned, 1651 01:23:42,767 --> 01:23:45,812 -but nothing afterward. -Right. 1652 01:23:45,937 --> 01:23:47,731 There's your clone, Dr. Pratt. 1653 01:23:47,856 --> 01:23:50,525 -You! You're the one who did this to me! -[crowd gasping] 1654 01:23:50,650 --> 01:23:53,236 -[gasps] -I'm gonna destroy you! 1655 01:23:53,361 --> 01:23:55,238 -You vermin! -[whimsical, dramatic music] 1656 01:23:55,363 --> 01:23:56,448 -[both screaming] -[thudding] 1657 01:23:56,614 --> 01:23:58,658 -[gasps] -[woman screaming] 1658 01:23:59,451 --> 01:24:01,453 -[all gasping] -[thudding] 1659 01:24:02,120 --> 01:24:03,538 -[grunting] Uh-- -Oh. 1660 01:24:03,663 --> 01:24:06,791 -What should we do? -Lord, give me a sign. 1661 01:24:06,916 --> 01:24:08,877 [both grunting and groaning] 1662 01:24:09,544 --> 01:24:11,046 [automated message] You've got mail. 1663 01:24:11,880 --> 01:24:12,797 [Dix grunts] 1664 01:24:14,466 --> 01:24:18,678 God said, "Let there be music." On with the show! 1665 01:24:18,803 --> 01:24:21,723 -[grunts] -[crowd clapping] 1666 01:24:22,307 --> 01:24:23,641 [indistinct chatter] 1667 01:24:26,227 --> 01:24:28,063 [maestro] Here we go. One-- 1668 01:24:29,189 --> 01:24:30,690 -[grunts] -[groans] 1669 01:24:31,524 --> 01:24:33,318 So much for taking over the world. 1670 01:24:33,443 --> 01:24:35,737 I just wanted to rid the world of idiots like you. 1671 01:24:35,862 --> 01:24:36,988 -[Dix grunts] -Ow! 1672 01:24:37,113 --> 01:24:39,199 [Luciano singing indistinctly] 1673 01:24:39,324 --> 01:24:41,159 [dramatic classical music playing] 1674 01:24:41,326 --> 01:24:42,827 -[grunts] -[crowd gasps] 1675 01:24:43,411 --> 01:24:46,081 [speaks in Italian, whimpers] 1676 01:24:51,753 --> 01:24:52,670 Hmm? 1677 01:24:53,254 --> 01:24:55,298 [groaning] 1678 01:25:00,970 --> 01:25:03,389 [both shouting indistinctly] 1679 01:25:19,989 --> 01:25:22,367 -[thudding] -[groaning] 1680 01:25:22,826 --> 01:25:24,285 -[electrical buzzing and crackling] -[clinking and whirring] 1681 01:25:24,410 --> 01:25:26,746 [Luciano shouting in Italian] 1682 01:25:29,374 --> 01:25:31,751 Hey, you... [speaks in Italian] do something! 1683 01:25:33,044 --> 01:25:35,630 -[firecrackers whistling] -It's fake, like wrestling. 1684 01:25:37,173 --> 01:25:40,093 [Luciano shouting] Where is that stage manager... [continues indistinctly] 1685 01:25:40,218 --> 01:25:41,386 [woman screams] 1686 01:25:43,054 --> 01:25:44,639 [indistinct shouting] 1687 01:25:44,764 --> 01:25:47,684 -[growling] -[indistinct chatter] 1688 01:25:48,393 --> 01:25:50,061 -Look out! -[screams] 1689 01:25:50,436 --> 01:25:53,731 -[growling] -Ooh, that's gonna leave a mark! 1690 01:25:53,898 --> 01:25:55,441 [shouting in Italian] 1691 01:25:55,567 --> 01:25:58,736 -Bonjour. Excuse me. [grunts] -[screaming, shuddering] 1692 01:25:58,862 --> 01:26:00,947 -[buzzing and hissing continue] -[grunting] 1693 01:26:01,072 --> 01:26:04,534 -[man] Get me down! -[both grunting and groaning] 1694 01:26:06,119 --> 01:26:08,788 -[Valentino screams] -[groans] 1695 01:26:09,581 --> 01:26:11,499 -Oh! -[man] Did you see that? 1696 01:26:11,916 --> 01:26:13,084 -Give me that-- -[indistinct chatter] 1697 01:26:13,585 --> 01:26:15,420 -[Dix] Come on! -Oh-- 1698 01:26:16,004 --> 01:26:16,880 [grunting] 1699 01:26:18,381 --> 01:26:20,133 -[exhales sharply] -[indistinct chatter] 1700 01:26:20,258 --> 01:26:22,302 -[ominous music] -[Griffin] Take your hands off me! 1701 01:26:22,427 --> 01:26:24,095 [Luciano speaking in Italian] 1702 01:26:24,220 --> 01:26:25,972 [weapon whirring] 1703 01:26:26,097 --> 01:26:27,557 Huh? Oh-- 1704 01:26:27,682 --> 01:26:29,767 -[continues indistinctly] -Could you do better? 1705 01:26:29,893 --> 01:26:31,895 [music increases] 1706 01:26:32,604 --> 01:26:34,981 -[grunting] -The solution is 1707 01:26:35,440 --> 01:26:38,735 -kill the president. -[crowd gasps] 1708 01:26:38,860 --> 01:26:40,320 [laughs evilly] 1709 01:26:40,445 --> 01:26:42,280 -[hissing] -[shouts] 1710 01:26:42,822 --> 01:26:44,115 [explosion] 1711 01:26:44,282 --> 01:26:45,783 [sings high-pitched note] 1712 01:26:45,909 --> 01:26:49,204 -[gasps] -[screams] 1713 01:26:49,787 --> 01:26:50,663 [groaning] 1714 01:26:53,833 --> 01:26:55,877 -[glass shatters] -[squelching] 1715 01:26:56,002 --> 01:26:58,463 Oh, holy shit, baby. 1716 01:26:59,714 --> 01:27:03,134 -Oogie-boogie-boogie. La-la! -[alien groaning] 1717 01:27:03,301 --> 01:27:04,260 What? 1718 01:27:04,761 --> 01:27:07,639 -[farting] -[shouting] 1719 01:27:07,764 --> 01:27:08,806 [gasps] 1720 01:27:10,308 --> 01:27:12,352 -Oh! -[alien] I'll be back! 1721 01:27:12,477 --> 01:27:13,978 -[farting continues] -Oh! 1722 01:27:16,314 --> 01:27:18,691 -[grunts] Yes. -[groans] 1723 01:27:18,816 --> 01:27:21,444 -[groaning and screaming] -[splashing] 1724 01:27:22,612 --> 01:27:24,489 Hasta la vista, baby. 1725 01:27:24,614 --> 01:27:27,367 [crowd cheering and clapping] 1726 01:27:28,368 --> 01:27:29,410 -Back off! -[coughing] 1727 01:27:29,535 --> 01:27:31,788 [inaudible chatter] 1728 01:27:32,247 --> 01:27:33,831 [clone] Hey, I'm just a clone. 1729 01:27:37,669 --> 01:27:41,172 Ladies and gentlemen, this may have been 1730 01:27:41,506 --> 01:27:44,550 -the greatest save of all time. -Hmm. 1731 01:27:44,676 --> 01:27:46,386 And the man responsible 1732 01:27:46,511 --> 01:27:49,180 is from the Interplanetary Security, 1733 01:27:49,639 --> 01:27:51,516 Marshal "Dick" Dix. 1734 01:27:51,683 --> 01:27:53,893 -[triumphant music] -[crowd clapping and cheering] 1735 01:27:57,855 --> 01:27:59,899 Thank you, uh, Mr. President. 1736 01:28:00,024 --> 01:28:01,901 [president] You're very welcome, Marshal Dix, 1737 01:28:02,026 --> 01:28:04,237 and the world thanks you. 1738 01:28:04,362 --> 01:28:06,447 -[clapping increases] -[chuckles softly] 1739 01:28:06,572 --> 01:28:09,575 [singing "Libiamo (Drinking song) From la Traviata, Act I" by Giuseppe Verdi] 1740 01:28:09,701 --> 01:28:11,869 -Whoa. -[chuckles] 1741 01:28:14,205 --> 01:28:16,541 [firecrackers exploding] 1742 01:28:26,050 --> 01:28:28,886 [vocalizing] 1743 01:28:32,390 --> 01:28:34,976 -[Shitzu] Yo, man! -[chuckling] Hey! 1744 01:28:36,185 --> 01:28:38,146 [Cassandra] Marshal, you were wonderful. 1745 01:28:38,271 --> 01:28:40,481 [Dix] Now I knew what it was like to be a Roman candle 1746 01:28:40,606 --> 01:28:44,485 on the 4th of July. Yet, this hero stuff was not for me. 1747 01:28:44,610 --> 01:28:47,238 -No more. No more! -I was ready to get back on the beat, 1748 01:28:47,363 --> 01:28:51,451 hear the wail of sirens, and play with my handcuffs and my gun. 1749 01:28:51,909 --> 01:28:56,456 Yes, I was ready to plant my flag back in Washington, DC, 1750 01:28:56,581 --> 01:29:01,461 where every congressman has the constitutional right to be a felon. 1751 01:29:02,337 --> 01:29:03,755 Good old America. 1752 01:29:04,505 --> 01:29:07,759 ["Libiamo (Drinking song) From la Traviata, Act I" continues] 1753 01:29:13,097 --> 01:29:15,350 -[squawking] -[waiter] Here's your soup, sir. 1754 01:29:15,475 --> 01:29:17,435 -[inhales sharply] -[indistinct chatter] 1755 01:29:17,602 --> 01:29:18,853 [moans] Smells great. 1756 01:29:18,978 --> 01:29:20,521 -[parrot] Oh, piss off! -[waiter] Whoa! 1757 01:29:21,189 --> 01:29:23,274 [waiter mutters] Miserable bird. I should stuff it. 1758 01:29:23,399 --> 01:29:25,485 Uh, uh-- [sighs] 1759 01:29:25,610 --> 01:29:27,653 [cheerful music] 1760 01:29:28,071 --> 01:29:31,866 Uh, well... I, I wanna drink a toast. 1761 01:29:31,991 --> 01:29:33,284 -[cork pops] -[parrot screams] 1762 01:29:33,451 --> 01:29:35,328 -[splashes] -[gasps] 1763 01:29:35,453 --> 01:29:38,373 I wanna, I wanna drink a toast. 1764 01:29:38,831 --> 01:29:40,124 -[chuckling] No, to you! -[man] I'll save that bird. 1765 01:29:40,291 --> 01:29:41,959 You've made the world a safe place again. 1766 01:29:42,126 --> 01:29:45,129 Your high kicks helped out pretty good too there, you know. 1767 01:29:45,254 --> 01:29:47,340 [parrot squawking] 1768 01:29:47,465 --> 01:29:48,966 [soft pouring] 1769 01:29:49,092 --> 01:29:52,595 Oh, uh-- well, how is, uh, how's everything on Vegan? 1770 01:29:52,720 --> 01:29:55,890 -I, I hear y-- you've gotten a promotion. -[gasping and spitting] 1771 01:29:56,015 --> 01:29:58,684 Yes. Now I'm responsible for all new erections. 1772 01:29:58,810 --> 01:29:59,769 [chokes] 1773 01:30:02,480 --> 01:30:03,481 Congratulations. 1774 01:30:04,023 --> 01:30:06,109 I'm not a bit surprised. [chuckles] 1775 01:30:06,234 --> 01:30:08,611 [sighs] I love spending my vacation on Earth. 1776 01:30:09,320 --> 01:30:10,655 This place is so peaceful, 1777 01:30:11,072 --> 01:30:15,118 the ocean, the music, product placements. 1778 01:30:15,493 --> 01:30:17,495 [groans] 1779 01:30:17,620 --> 01:30:19,664 [choking and groaning] 1780 01:30:20,164 --> 01:30:22,166 [gasping] 1781 01:30:23,334 --> 01:30:24,502 Are you all right? 1782 01:30:27,338 --> 01:30:28,756 -[groans] -[whimsical tone] 1783 01:30:30,174 --> 01:30:31,175 [clinking] 1784 01:30:31,592 --> 01:30:33,636 Uh, just picking my teeth. 1785 01:30:33,761 --> 01:30:35,805 -[music continues] -[birds chirping] 1786 01:30:36,222 --> 01:30:37,974 [softly] There's something I need to tell you. 1787 01:30:39,767 --> 01:30:41,477 I see dead people. 1788 01:30:42,437 --> 01:30:43,354 What? 1789 01:30:43,521 --> 01:30:45,314 I see dead people. Look. 1790 01:30:45,440 --> 01:30:46,524 Hey, baby. 1791 01:30:47,859 --> 01:30:49,861 -[chuckles] -You're right. 1792 01:30:50,027 --> 01:30:52,613 [alien 1] Hey. Would you like to hear the dessert specials? 1793 01:30:52,738 --> 01:30:55,783 We got silicon hooter pie with whipped cream for you. 1794 01:30:55,908 --> 01:30:58,911 [alien 2] We've got silicon lips ice cream for you. 1795 01:30:59,036 --> 01:31:01,622 -[alien 1] And, yo, we got guns! -Guns! 1796 01:31:01,747 --> 01:31:03,541 -Big guns. -For you. 1797 01:31:03,708 --> 01:31:06,461 Gun? Big guns? 1798 01:31:06,586 --> 01:31:07,837 Oh, those aren't guns. 1799 01:31:07,962 --> 01:31:10,506 -Uh? -This is a gun. 1800 01:31:10,631 --> 01:31:13,176 -[stuttering] -[clattering] 1801 01:31:13,301 --> 01:31:14,385 [gunshot] 1802 01:31:14,552 --> 01:31:15,887 [alien 2] Wait, wait, wait. 1803 01:31:16,012 --> 01:31:17,722 [cheerful music] 1804 01:31:17,889 --> 01:31:22,393 Marshal, you made the world a safe place again, again. 1805 01:31:23,436 --> 01:31:25,354 -You're so wonderful. -[Dix exhaling] Oh-- [chuckles] 1806 01:31:25,480 --> 01:31:28,274 -You know, you could be my father. -Oh, no, no. 1807 01:31:28,691 --> 01:31:31,861 That concert was the only time I've ever been to France, ever. 1808 01:31:31,986 --> 01:31:34,197 -Richard. -[light romantic music] 1809 01:31:34,322 --> 01:31:35,573 [Dix] Mm. 1810 01:31:37,617 --> 01:31:38,910 [chuckles softly] 1811 01:31:39,577 --> 01:31:43,164 [whimsical, triumphant tone] 1812 01:31:44,957 --> 01:31:47,585 ["Throw it Up" by Ophélie Winter] 1813 01:31:50,171 --> 01:31:52,089 -[man] ♪ You ready? ♪ -[woman echoes] ♪ I'm ready ♪ 1814 01:31:52,256 --> 01:31:53,925 -[man] ♪ Come on ♪ -[woman echoes] ♪ I'm ready ♪ 1815 01:31:54,091 --> 01:31:55,927 [man] ♪ Say what? Huh, huh, huh ♪ 1816 01:31:56,052 --> 01:31:58,137 ♪ Say what? Huh, huh ♪ 1817 01:31:58,262 --> 01:31:59,764 ♪ Say what? Ah ♪ 1818 01:32:00,139 --> 01:32:02,099 ♪ Tonight, we go bloop Like cloud nine ♪ 1819 01:32:02,225 --> 01:32:04,018 ♪ Let's sweep on the dance floor All night ♪ 1820 01:32:04,143 --> 01:32:06,020 ♪ We hittin' corners Like six fours on three ♪ 1821 01:32:06,145 --> 01:32:08,523 ♪ Slide in, great spot Trades and treats, yo ♪ 1822 01:32:08,648 --> 01:32:10,107 ♪ I gotta catch me a feelin' ♪ 1823 01:32:10,274 --> 01:32:12,068 ♪ Keep it burning In the back in the VIP ♪ 1824 01:32:12,193 --> 01:32:14,070 ♪ Ho-ho, you like that Give it right there ♪ 1825 01:32:14,195 --> 01:32:16,614 ♪ Come party with me And I feel ya, who that? ♪ 1826 01:32:16,781 --> 01:32:18,324 -[women] ♪ This is For the ladies in the club ♪ -[woman vocalizing] 1827 01:32:18,449 --> 01:32:19,867 [women] ♪ If you wanna toss it up ♪ 1828 01:32:19,992 --> 01:32:21,452 ♪ If you wanna keep it krunk ♪ 1829 01:32:21,619 --> 01:32:23,079 ♪ Throw it up ♪ 1830 01:32:23,204 --> 01:32:24,539 ♪ Throw it up ♪ 1831 01:32:24,664 --> 01:32:26,457 ♪ And this is for the fellas In the back ♪ 1832 01:32:26,582 --> 01:32:27,833 ♪ Ones with the pockets fat ♪ 1833 01:32:27,959 --> 01:32:29,460 ♪ Girl is sippin' on yak ♪ 1834 01:32:29,627 --> 01:32:32,630 ♪ Throw it up, throw it up ♪ 1835 01:32:33,130 --> 01:32:35,675 [woman] ♪ It's Friday night And I'm in the mood ♪ 1836 01:32:35,800 --> 01:32:38,469 ♪ To make a move Gonna dance all night ♪ 1837 01:32:38,636 --> 01:32:41,097 ♪ Gonna wear the songs Right off my shirt ♪ 1838 01:32:41,222 --> 01:32:43,432 ♪ But with the scene Let's scope it up ♪ 1839 01:32:43,558 --> 01:32:46,644 ♪ Till I find a feel And I'ma break it down ♪ 1840 01:32:46,769 --> 01:32:49,146 ♪ Let's bite that thing Up to the beat ♪ 1841 01:32:49,605 --> 01:32:53,442 ♪ Oh, there it goes And the latter comes ♪ 1842 01:32:53,568 --> 01:32:57,113 ♪ It's hard to tell I gotta scoop him up ♪ 1843 01:32:57,530 --> 01:33:00,992 ♪ High-five the thing Say, "You can hang" ♪ 1844 01:33:01,158 --> 01:33:02,868 ♪ I don't think so ♪ 1845 01:33:02,994 --> 01:33:04,662 ♪ Flavor lands Let's see you go ♪ 1846 01:33:04,829 --> 01:33:06,497 [women] ♪ This is for the ladies In the club ♪ 1847 01:33:06,664 --> 01:33:07,999 -♪ If you wanna toss it up ♪ -[vocalizing] 1848 01:33:08,124 --> 01:33:09,667 ♪ If you wanna keep it krunk ♪ 1849 01:33:09,834 --> 01:33:11,460 -♪ Throw it up ♪ -[woman] ♪ Nah ♪ 1850 01:33:11,586 --> 01:33:13,170 -♪ Nah, throw it up ♪ -[women] ♪ Throw it up ♪ 1851 01:33:13,337 --> 01:33:14,672 ♪ This is for the fellas In the back ♪ 1852 01:33:14,797 --> 01:33:15,881 ♪ Ones with the pockets fat ♪ 1853 01:33:16,007 --> 01:33:17,508 ♪ Blind, is sippin' on yak ♪ 1854 01:33:17,633 --> 01:33:19,260 ♪ Throw it up ♪ 1855 01:33:19,385 --> 01:33:21,304 -♪ Throw it up ♪ -[woman] ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 1856 01:33:21,429 --> 01:33:22,763 [women] ♪ Everyone is chillin' In the club ♪ 1857 01:33:22,888 --> 01:33:24,390 ♪ Fellas wanna touch and rub ♪ 1858 01:33:24,515 --> 01:33:26,726 ♪ Ladies wanna up the mark Throw it up ♪ 1859 01:33:26,851 --> 01:33:28,811 -[woman] ♪ Throw it up Oh, yeah ♪ -[women] ♪ Throw it up ♪ 1860 01:33:28,936 --> 01:33:30,396 ♪ Everybody tryin' to spend up ♪ 1861 01:33:30,521 --> 01:33:31,856 ♪ Checkin' out the freaks In the club ♪ 1862 01:33:32,023 --> 01:33:33,482 ♪ Ladies wanna tease you up ♪ 1863 01:33:33,608 --> 01:33:35,401 ♪ Throw it up ♪ 1864 01:33:35,526 --> 01:33:37,028 ♪ Throw it up ♪ 1865 01:33:37,194 --> 01:33:38,821 [woman] ♪ And the burn can move ♪ 1866 01:33:38,946 --> 01:33:41,073 ♪ Step for step It's in the groove ♪ 1867 01:33:41,198 --> 01:33:45,077 ♪ In the right, in the band He can dig it real good ♪ 1868 01:33:45,202 --> 01:33:48,831 -♪ On and on, not too fast Not too slow ♪ -[women] ♪ Not too fast... ♪ 1869 01:33:48,956 --> 01:33:51,459 [woman] ♪ Gonna take him home And see him whirl ♪ 1870 01:33:51,584 --> 01:33:53,628 -♪ Without his clothes ♪ -[women] ♪ Out his clothes ♪ 1871 01:33:53,753 --> 01:33:55,087 [woman] ♪ He's on the floor ♪ 1872 01:33:55,212 --> 01:33:57,048 ♪ Baby, had me handled with-- ♪ 1873 01:33:57,214 --> 01:33:59,050 -[grunting] -♪ He made nine ♪ 1874 01:33:59,216 --> 01:34:01,052 ♪ One man I won't forget, so-- ♪ 1875 01:34:01,177 --> 01:34:05,056 ♪ I think he's hurt His chance to put it down ♪ 1876 01:34:05,222 --> 01:34:08,643 ♪ 'Cause I've been watching His ass for some time now ♪ 1877 01:34:08,768 --> 01:34:11,562 [women] ♪ This is For the ladies in the club If you wanna toss it up ♪ 1878 01:34:11,729 --> 01:34:13,439 -[woman] ♪ Go on, yeah ♪ -♪ If you wanna keep it krunk ♪ 1879 01:34:13,564 --> 01:34:15,941 ♪ Throw it up, throw it up ♪ 1880 01:34:16,067 --> 01:34:18,235 -♪ I'm gonna throw it up ♪ -[women] ♪ This is For the fellas in the back ♪ 1881 01:34:18,402 --> 01:34:21,072 ♪ Ones with the pockets fat Girl is sippin' on yak ♪ 1882 01:34:21,238 --> 01:34:24,659 -♪ Throw it up, throw it up ♪ -[woman] ♪ Mm, nah Throw it up ♪ 1883 01:34:24,784 --> 01:34:26,243 [women] ♪ When we're chillin' In the club ♪ 1884 01:34:26,410 --> 01:34:27,912 ♪ Fellas wanna touch and rub ♪ 1885 01:34:28,037 --> 01:34:29,497 ♪ Ladies wanna fuck 'em up ♪ 1886 01:34:29,622 --> 01:34:31,248 ♪ Throw it up ♪ 1887 01:34:31,415 --> 01:34:32,917 -♪ Throw it up ♪ -[woman] ♪ Ooh, yeah, babe ♪ 1888 01:34:33,042 --> 01:34:34,502 [women] ♪ Everybody tryin' to spend up ♪ 1889 01:34:34,627 --> 01:34:36,337 ♪ Checkin' out the freaks In the club ♪ 1890 01:34:36,462 --> 01:34:38,422 ♪ Ladies wanna tease you up Throw it up ♪ 1891 01:34:38,714 --> 01:34:41,133 -[woman] ♪ You can ♪ -♪ Throw it up ♪ 1892 01:34:41,258 --> 01:34:43,427 [woman rapping] ♪ Yo, this is for the thugs and the gentlemen Spending the dubs ♪ 1893 01:34:43,594 --> 01:34:46,722 ♪ In the club... ♪ [continues indistinctly] 1894 01:34:56,774 --> 01:34:59,694 [women] ♪ This is For the ladies in the club If you wanna toss it up ♪ 1895 01:34:59,819 --> 01:35:02,071 -♪ If you wanna Keep it krunk, throw it up ♪ -[woman] ♪ I said ♪ 1896 01:35:02,196 --> 01:35:04,657 -♪ Throw it up Let's go, let's go... ♪ -[women] ♪ Throw it up ♪ 1897 01:35:04,782 --> 01:35:07,868 ♪ This is For the fellas in the back Ones with the pockets fat ♪ 1898 01:35:07,993 --> 01:35:10,079 ♪ Girl is sippin' on yak Throw it up ♪ 1899 01:35:10,204 --> 01:35:12,915 -[woman] ♪ Throw it... up Yeah ♪ -[women] ♪ Throw it up ♪ 1900 01:35:13,040 --> 01:35:14,291 ♪ Everybody's chillin' In the club ♪ 1901 01:35:14,417 --> 01:35:15,918 ♪ Fellas wanna touch and rub ♪ 1902 01:35:16,043 --> 01:35:17,294 ♪ Ladies wanna up 'em up ♪ 1903 01:35:17,420 --> 01:35:19,964 ♪ Throw it up, throw it up ♪ 1904 01:35:20,131 --> 01:35:23,718 -[woman] ♪ The way You smile, just wanna ♪ -[women] ♪ ...checkin' out... ♪ 1905 01:35:23,843 --> 01:35:25,553 -♪ Ladies wanna tease you up ♪ -[woman] ♪ I wanna Take you home ♪ 1906 01:35:25,678 --> 01:35:27,221 [women] ♪ Throw it up ♪ 1907 01:35:27,346 --> 01:35:28,973 -♪ Good, I throw it up ♪ -♪ Throw it up ♪ 1908 01:35:29,098 --> 01:35:30,307 ♪ This is for the ladies In the club ♪ 1909 01:35:30,433 --> 01:35:31,892 ♪ If you wanna toss it up ♪ 1910 01:35:32,017 --> 01:35:33,477 ♪ If you wanna keep it krunk ♪ 1911 01:35:33,602 --> 01:35:34,812 ♪ Throw it up ♪ 1912 01:35:34,979 --> 01:35:36,897 -♪ Ah ♪ -♪ Throw it up ♪ 1913 01:35:37,690 --> 01:35:39,942 [dramatic music] 1914 01:36:04,925 --> 01:36:07,511 [suspenseful fanfare music] 1915 01:36:17,855 --> 01:36:20,107 [upbeat, whimsical music] 1916 01:36:59,605 --> 01:37:02,066 ["The Blue Danube" by Johann Strauss II] 1917 01:37:46,151 --> 01:37:47,444 [standard fart] 1918 01:37:50,114 --> 01:37:51,240 [soft fart] 1919 01:37:54,118 --> 01:37:55,244 [loud fart] 1920 01:37:58,122 --> 01:37:59,206 [splattering fart] 1921 01:38:02,501 --> 01:38:04,253 -[loud fart] -[splattering] 1922 01:38:07,715 --> 01:38:08,841 [quick fart] 1923 01:38:12,136 --> 01:38:13,304 [muffled fart] 1924 01:38:16,473 --> 01:38:18,517 [continuous fart] 146262