Original subtitles

Previously this season on The Real Housewives of New York City.

I'm going to go meet with an arborist from the Central Park Conservancy.

The tree should be by some dogs.

Grandma loves dogs.

I am guarded. I have been.

So many times. And, like, if that comes off as not wanting to participate or not

wanting to try or not wanting to be a friend, like, I apologize. That's not my

intention at all. Get out of my face. I did not say your name. Take these

glasses when you're talking to me, first of all. Do not grab me. You're never

direct, Jekyll. I want to know more about you. Your story is about your

coming from Kenya.

Is that not part of my story? No, we want to know about you.

This is what happened. She, your f***ing pet parrot. She's actually so f***ing

over you. Yeah, well, I've been having it too. Let's be done. I'm out.

Bitch, how people treat you is a direct reflection of what you've given them

permission to do. So that's not the end of it.

You know, she called me prude, she called me a diva. Is she a diva?

Jess, no.

It's thigh bipolar, yeah.

Oh.

Stick to the ingredients?

Darling, it's me.

My lashes may be fake, but I definitely keep it real.

I'm a true New Yorker. The only bull I'll take is by the horn.

I always bring the flavor. It's not my fault you don't have any taste. In New

York, there's a lot of bad apples, but I'm the baddest of the bunch.

I love to laugh, so make me mad, and I'll date your dad.

I do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it.

This mannequin scared the shit out of me.

I thought it was a real person.

Can I see this wig?

I'll get away with that.

She's a vibe.

She's a vibe, right?

Yeah, that's cute.

Let's go.

I do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it.

Pound number eight, top card or bottom?

Bottom.

You might be caught in the middle of someone's issues, like two friends that

not getting along and you're friends with both of them.

Is it going to get resolved before this Saturday? Because I'm having a birthday

party and I'm inviting both of them.

Balancing is you in the power position. So maybe you're like, look, people, my

birthday, let's call it truth and fun.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, gorgeous, girl. Gorgeous.

Where's the wind machine?

This is what I like to see. Heads are closer together.

Thank you.

Gorgeous.

Stairs. I love that with the teeth. Oh, coming.

There she is.

Yalla.

You look gorgeous.

I love your shoes. Thank you. I'm so happy we're doing this. Me too.

I'm so excited.

You ready to get bumped?

Now is the time for Uwe and I to have some fun together.

Sorry!

Not with our hands, but with our bumper cars like adults do.

I love bumper cars so much. I usually get kicked out.

I have got bad. My nieces will go in and the guy will be like, no, you can't

come in. Last week you were really bad. And I was like.

Erin, let's be a team.

Okay, who's our next one? Let's take 12. Okay, go, go, go. Okay. I got you. I'm

with you. I have a straight shot.

Go, Erin, go, go, Erin, go.

This is the Erin that I love.

This was awesome.

That was fun. Right?

This is what Erin and I are meant to look pretty and have fun. Want to have

coffee or something? Yes, I would love that so much. And eat at the same time.

Thank you so much.

The trick of this thing is to go in circles. And then nobody comes next to

Yeah, everyone was like, whoa. Nobody goes in a tornado.

Thank you for making this so much fun. You know what? We had so much fun the

other night.

It's just me and you talking right now. She's talking to Oopa. I'm kidding.

I'm sitting with you.

I'm sitting with you.

Let's keep it going. Let's keep it moving.

We were so happy. I just felt a little bad about Abbott.

You went on him a little about his traveling and points. Like, who does

And I think you guys, because his answer was not.

She lets me do what I want. I just want to travel, eat, have fun.

And do whatever. And it's being able to do what you love with someone else.

She's the perfect partner for that. Wow.

It's your opportunity to say something nice about your wife in front of all

these people. Like, she's amazing. She's a lovely mother.

Personally, in my own weird way, I think that was the most loving thing someone

could say to someone.

Like, I love this person because she's letting me be me.

I don't know. It's just, like, not common.

I want a man who's going to keep up with my shit. Right. Who's going to take my

shit? Like, I'm waiting for someone who's going to take my shit, and I'm

to love them so much. Another thing.

When I come to that event, my husband, like, pinned me down. He did? Why you're

not married. Oh, I heard that.

Uwe, one sec. I'm confused.

You are confident.

You are smart. You're a businesswoman.

Why you're not in a serious relationship?

I don't know. Why don't we all close our eyes and speak to God in your own

language? I didn't find my Abe. I didn't find my private. I didn't find my

David. Once I do... Maybe I might change my mind. Right. And it will be uber

hard tie the knot.

But right now. I like that.

I'm happy being me.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. At some point, I know for sure I'll be

to like share with the world and my friends and family him.

But the only person who knows about my person is Sai.

I'm good. I don't need anything else.

Who is this? I'm good.

Erin is New York Times. If I told Erin about this.

everyone and their mother and their children will know.

I really hope that Jethel and Thay can be, like, good again.

Yeah. But can I be honest with you? Yeah. Jethel, sometimes she just gets in

roundabout. We call it around the bush in Africa.

She gets in the roundabout.

She goes around, goes around. Well, in Manhattan, there's no bush here.

I just walk into Dior's.

Yeah, I had a meeting earlier, so I just came in my Parisian look. You look

really cute.

I like this little bra thing you have going on. You know what? I'm one year

older, none the wiser, so I'm just going to titties out every day this year. I

like your titties out. It looks good, but I'm freezing. I'm not going to have

titties out.

I haven't been to Central Park in forever.

Now every time I come to Central Park, all I think is, is this where Uwe had

sex? Is that where Uwe had sex? Is that where Uwe had sex? Like, where?

I forgot about that. You went back to Central Park? Yes.

Where in Central Park?

We're not going to get into details.

Unlike Google, I've never bang -banged it out in Central Park.

Yeah, I didn't do doggy style there. I just took my dog.

Did I ever tell you that story about how my mom used to make me sell incense?

Yeah. Did you bring some in your Dior bag? I, like, sort of brought some

incense. Should we get a panel? Do you want me to help? So embarrassing.

And then she, like, wrapped it in foil.

My mom loved Central Park. She grew up in Central Park. She loved the congas.

She loved rollerblading.

And I had to go running around like, excuse me, hi, would you like to buy

incense? I was 15 and it was mortifying.

remember if i sold any i think i was probably the worst salesman for incense

ever i think i might have hid under a tree for a while and then told her like

didn't get any sales today thank you for coming so what we're going to do is

through the central park conservancy you can endow a tree so you can do benches

for a donation then you own for example this bench theoretically oh that's cool

so i'm gonna endow a tree and you're doing this for for mimi yeah oh that's

gonna be so nice

Since losing my grandmother a year and a half ago, I've just been almost fixated

on wanting to do something special for her, but here in New York.

And probably has something to do with the fact that growing up, she and Nazian

would talk about the one time that she traveled to Central Park. She loved me

living here. That's really, really a nice thing. Now there's going to be a

permanent living thing in her honor.

I wanted to be closer to the pond. One of the things that my grandma would do

Indiana, she loved ducks.

I was like, Mimi, what are you doing? She's like, oh, I'm just going to go

the ducks. You know, I'm like, this is really sweet.

Hi.

Hi, how are you?

Good to meet you, Axel Brynwickfield. Hi, Bryn, I'm Stormy. Hi, Cy, nice to

you. Cy, nice to meet you. Welcome to the endowment process.

We're excited about this. Yeah.

Today, we're going to look at tree specimens to choose from.

Okay. There's this really cool thing that we work with.

It's our data system. All the purple trees are available.

That's so cool. Okay. Okay. Yeah, you want to take a walk? So, yeah, as you

see, if we sit on a bench anywhere around here, all those trees on the

side are available.

Okay. This was a willow with a yellow. She loved whipping willows. Is that

available? Yeah, that's what that is, that yellow one.

Yes, it's available.

Oh, my God. And then, look, a duck just went by.

Oh.

There's a bench right underneath it. Yep, there is. Oh.

And right next to that is... I think she loves it. Oh, wonderful.

Let's go walk over to it. That's sweet when you said there's ducks. Thank you.

I understand what Brynn is going through a lot because I've been through a lot

of the things that she went through. Obviously, two different situations, but

she's like a little sister to me. We have a very, very close relationship,

don't think that it can be explained to other people in our friend group.

Aw, okay. Yeah, that's it.

I love it.

It's perfect.

Wait, have you ever hugged a tree?

It's the best feeling ever.

I agree full -heartedly.

They're a living thing.

They really are.

Oh, my God.

This is nice.

I love it. It's beautiful. All right, turn around.

Oh, I'm happy.

Thank you guys so much. I'm so happy. Now there's a nice memorial.

A little piece of New York for Mimi. I'm glad you did that. Yeah, thank you for

coming. Of course, I'm happy to be here for you.

Coming up...

How

is this real?

Of course the model's drinking green juice. You're so cliche.

You're almost done with her makeup, right?

Oh, yeah. Okay, perfect.

Oh, you look amazing.

I am shooting the first campaign for my newest venture, an e -commerce platform

bringing ready -to -wear and accessories coming out of India and the Middle

East. Jenna Lyon. How's it going?

I'm good.

What is happening over here?

Um... My friend is on a photo shoot with Miami Camel, and they said that they

would give them lashes, so I'm making boxes.

Wait, you do this yourself?

Yeah, just you wait. You're going to be doing a lot of stuff yourself too, my

love. Listen, I'm all for it. I feel like I've taken over your home, but I

hear you. Oh, no, it's okay.

It's not the first time. Over the last nine years, I've probably had 50 -some

-odd photo shoots in my apartment.

I need some eyelashes for the shoot. Oh, what level of drama would you like?

Dessel asked.

And if I can help her out or help anyone out, I'm game. I've been supported and

helped by other women, and I think it's important.

Should we start? Let's go. Yeah, are you ready?

Oh, good.

See? You see how that is just perfect?

Beautiful.

How's it going?

It's going really good.

You have to come see some of these shots. Oh, I do want to see it. So I

to do Indian but in, like, Western settings. They're, like, not traditional

all.

Can I?

I'm just going to... I just think you might want to move something so that it

doesn't feel cluttered.

It's a little... Yeah.

Jenna's a perfectionist, and if I had enough money, I would hire her to

creatively direct this shoot.

You don't want that in your shot, man. Like, that is hard.

You don't want that in your shot. You don't want this in your shot. But guess

what? I cannot afford Jenna Lyons. So to have her come and tweak things, I'm all

ears. That's better.

Anyway. Yeah, it does look better. Thank you. No, you're on your own. Sorry.

That's really cool.

It's giving, like, Serengeti, like, tribal, but, like, well -read.

Well -read.

I am dead.

Oh, my God.

That was me, like, popping jokes and, like, dying.

I'm trapped on my box because I just realized that I don't have any glue in

house. I have to go get glue. Oh, no.

Oh, Amore. Amore, where are you?

The elevator is not working. So Jenna, elevator is being worked on. You have to

walk up like a thousand staircases. I'm so sorry.

Don't worry. Think about your ass workout. Think about your...

How's it looking?

It's sick.

Yeah? Sick, sick, sick. It's so good.

Hi.

What the...

I'm good.

Oh, my God. Wow.

You didn't tell me I'm coming, Kilimanjaro. I'm so sorry, but I knew

could do it. I would not have wore heels if I knew this elevator is broken.

But, you know, you do things for friends.

And you sound so sexy. I lost my voice and it just happened. No way. I haven't

been sucking dick or anything. I don't know what happened.

Okay, Rin.

I invited Uba because he was a model. She gave great advice.

In fact, she's my biggest cheerleader. I love her.

I mean, you see the fashion, but I think we should do more of her waist.

Yeah, let's give a little bit more. You got those abs, baby girl.

Let's see if she changes her thing. Let's see if she's going to walk.

Oh, my God. Let's know.

Oh, la, oh, la, la.

I think we got it. Yeah. You are stunning.

Stunning, stunning, stunning.

She is.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Bada, can we talk about this bathtub?

Yeah. I am obsessed.

How you been?

I haven't spoken to you, but Brynn and Jenna came over on Friday. Anyway, Brynn

is telling me about all this shit that, like, Aaron and Cy are saying about my

marriage.

You know what Aaron told me? She was like, Oh, my God. Uba asked the cutest

question and went around and asked, like, how did you meet the person you

But no, why you love your wife. Yeah. And Aaron was like, what? Havid said was

like, I like Jessel because she lets me do what I want. That's exactly not what

he said. She's like, it was so weird. He wasn't wearing his ring.

And she's like, I don't know what's going on. Whoa.

What the?

Do they think a wedding ring stops a man from cheating?

It is. Literally, you do this.

Dumbest comment. And you put it in your pocket.

And voila, you do whatever. Also, men get hit on more statistically. With a

wedding ring. With a wedding ring. That's exactly what Puppet said. Did you

talk? No, but that's the truth. It literally said the same thing. No,

truth. They're like trying to poke holes in my marriage.

I'm sorry. I was here.

This is the edge.

I'm down here now. You don't talk about my hug.

I think that's off -limits.

It is off -limits. I'm sorry. It is off -limits.

Personally, I don't get in people marriage.

I don't get in people children.

It's none of my business, and it shouldn't be.

Weak people fight that way.

For Brynn's birthday, are you planning to speak to them?

I don't know what I'm going to do yet. You know, if I address it, it's going to

be short, it's going to be sweet. One, two, three, exit.

So I'm waiting for my friend to come in. I would love to, like, really do this

to her. Yeah, we can do that. Okay. Thanks for the scare. Yeah.

Appreciate it.

Who

is

that?

You look so cute.

You look so cute. Hi.

I love this place.

So the guy was telling me that the masks are in the back.

OK. What are you wearing? Do you know? No clue.

Brynn is having a party.

Venetian masks are recommended.

What can I help you guys with? We're looking for a Venetian mask.

But if you want more of the classic one, we have the nice long nose.

I've never been to a masquerade, but I always wanted to go to one. I only think

of Eyes Wide Shut.

And I'm also with my swinger friends. So what could we be getting into?

This one's cool.

Ooh, wait.

I like this.

This is just for fun. These are here. Try it out. Come on.

Okay,

I think I'm going to get the black one and this one. So these two.

Which was your selection again?

These two.

These two right here? Yeah. Okay, great. I'll bring these up to the front, okay?

Please take a look around. More if you wish.

I haven't seen you since the swingers debacle.

That's crazy.

I was annoyed then and I'm just still annoyed by Jekyll. Yeah. I seriously am

like so over this mean girl.

No one's being a mean girl. Yes, you are. Just so you make no sense when you

speak. And then she called you a pet parrot. Oh, I don't like that. I don't

if she called me a pet parrot. But you were talking to Ubin. I was like, well,

my pet parrot's not even listening right now.

She called me a pet parrot? She called you a pet parrot. Ew.

I don't care because it's not true.

So I'm not offended.

Pet parrot?

I want to drop kick her. She's the parrot. She can't even remember her own

thoughts. She writes all thoughts down in a notebook.

It's just the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Then when she called me mean

like, that's when I got up and walked away and called her a bitch. Yeah,

not cool.

And I'm like, it's not that I'm being mean. Yes, I'm a little bit abrasive.

I'm very straightforward.

I could work on that.

Mm -hmm. But all of a sudden, you're a mean girl. You're a mean girl. And I was

like, this is pointless.

And we're all very direct, very honest. Very honest. So it's hard with people

like that. I will tell you one thing. I went with Uwe to bumper cars on ice.

Honestly, I had a really good time. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, it was good. That's

nice. But one thing that I wanted to tell you, and it's not the biggest deal,

but I don't know if you want to bring it up with David, but she brought up how

he said, like, why are you single?

And she was just saying how people shouldn't ask that.

Like, would anyone ask a man that? I think he was saying it in a way that was

like, you are the full package. I can't believe no one has scooped you up yet.

Right. How could she be offended by David? David would hurt.

no one and he loves my friends all he does is compliment my friends

my friends so much and i'm like hello hello i'm your wife what about me i

she was offended though it obviously was something for her just food for thought

okay but she's fine she's very happy she's in a good place

i mean she's dating someone

She's in a good place.

I mean, she's dating someone.

Who is she dating?

None of your business.

That was like a lock bolt. I accidentally found out, and so... She

you? She was showing me a photo, and there were some photos there.

You guys are having so much fun.

And I set up, and then she told me... How do you know who it is?

She just told me...

It's someone she's dating.

Okay, cute.

And she said to me, please keep this between us.

You are the only one.

Won't say a word.

I just didn't know if it was, like, public knowledge or not. No, it's not.

I'm even upset with myself that I even said this much. Like, that is her

personal business.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, like, that's that.

No, I'm happy for her. That's so good.

It bothers me a bit that I know...

Uwe's dating someone before I do, considering I'm much closer with Uwe or

been. You know, we had a great day in Bryant Park, but I think we're both

treading lightly right now. But it doesn't mean that it doesn't sting.

I think that she's perfectly, like, she's very happy, and I don't, I

be out here, like, telling someone else's business.

So nobody knows?

I don't think so.

As soon as Aaron asked me who she's dating, immediately I wanted to retract

entire statement.

Just kidding!

I'm just kidding. She's not seeing anyone. That was a joke.

Just a joke.

You're Sherlock's son. You know everything.

Oopa's going to come for my head. I'm not trying to piss her off. And you know

what? She's my friend.

She told me something that I shouldn't have said. I felt awful.

I felt awful for saying something.

I think we'll go out. We'll have fun with Noor Jaisal and life goes on. While

we're at it, we should dress you up like a parrot.

And then you could just say things, like funny things, like, shut up, Jaisal.

Shut up, Jaisal.

Take that, Jaisal. Take that, Jaisal.

I'm going to this party today.

It's Bryn's birthday.

So I could do this.

Bryn's night, yeah. Right? With, like, very beautiful shoes and just, like,

shiny. Or I have not worn this dang toy in so long.

But it's not your birthday.

It's Bryn. I don't think she's going to care.

What do you think? Yeah.

You have fast.

Usually you pick things like last, last minute. But that's when you pick the

best clothes though, right?

Let me fix your hair actually before tonight.

So I want to also see what you're wearing. Do you have it like worked out?

I'm going to wear tuxes, right?

Do you know if you're going to do like bow tie, no bow tie? Of course I'm going

to do a bow tie. You are? Of course.

Who wears a tux without a bow tie? I don't know. You could do that.

Weirdos. I feel like you could do that.

You could.

It doesn't mean you should.

Okay.

So now I'm screwed. I actually have no idea what I'm going to wear. What do you

think of this?

I wore this to the Met Ball years ago. It's white, little, little pants, and

then there's a top.

My only issue is the mask is really solid. That is really transparent.

It'll feel weird.

I actually agree with you.

You know, you know, you know, you know.

Can we do something with this?

I don't know if it's dressy enough. I don't know what I would wear with it.

Okay.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Zach is funny.

He's deeply smart.

I'm sorry. I don't know if I can prove of that.

He's also an amazing dresser and has tons of swagger.

What do you think of this?

What am I looking at? It's a jumpsuit. It just looks like a trouser.

That looks really wacky.

Um. Wacky?

I don't know. It's Celine.

I love you.

Wow, you're really leaving me.

I don't know how I'm going to go to a party and not talk because I have, like,

zero voice.

Do you think I sound kind of sexy, though?

Uh... Do I have to answer that?

How did I leave you for, like, an hour and this place, like, blew up? It looks

great. Got a nice ball pit.

I think my body's shutting down.

I'm like... Oh, you got a big party tonight.

I genuinely want to have a good time. I don't want to deal with, like, the

negativity.

So what about Erin?

I mean, I feel the same way.

She does not need to talk about my marriage. Like, she can literally sit in

sad little Tribeca corner and, like, fixate on, like, our lives.

Like, good for you.

She's obsessed.

It's like Eminem's dad right now.

Like, crazy lunatic.

She's a parrot.

She has no brain.

I mean, she doesn't...

have the capacity to think for herself.

Okay. Should I just walk in with, like, five, ten rings on my fingers?

No, I think you're good.

I don't need to make a statement.

They're so obsessed with me.

Like, I can't focus as much on other people's lives.

I'm not sure why Aaron and Cy are causing issues.

Are they projecting that they're not happy with their marriage onto us, who

very happily married?

Perhaps. How are you feeling about Cy these right now?

I'm so over it. I literally don't care.

Okay. So when you see her tonight, what's going to happen?

It could go one of two ways.

I think, like, depending on how I feel, I might, you know, say a quick few words

to her. Or I could just completely just ignore them because if she doesn't like

me, I'm not going to make an effort.

I don't know which way I'm going to go yet.

You know what would help?

What? A couple shots before you go.

Whiskey? Tequila.

Oh, my God.

Coming up.

What kind of kiss do you want, my love? Just like a little kiss. Really, just a

little one? It's my birthday.

That's all you want, is a little one? Yes.

I need some more of that.

No, no, no, no lie.

Real queens don't die. We just pass on the crown and multiply.

So you can keep hitting on a boss lady.

Betcha.

Take not the hustle, babe, no lie.

Real queens don't die. We just pass on the crown and multiply.

So you can... I'm stuck in my own car. Hi, how are you? Good evening.

Hi, how are you?

Very well.

Happy birthday.

Oh, thank you. So kind of you. Can I take care of your coat? Yes, please.

Oh,

you got...

The team has been working all morning.

Balloons are in. It's a lot of balloons. I'm extremely happy. This is my dear

friend's restaurant. We have the most fabulous balloons, all the alcohol that

you can want. So I'm so excited to just toast everyone.

Here we go.

Our cheese and charcuterie board here. You know, we still have to be careful

keep all the cheese knives and pairing utensils away from this group, but we've

come a very long way, and it feels like a safe space for Brie.

Yay! Enjoy.

Thank you so much.

Should I put mine on? I like the whole thing. I like the whole thing. I'm gonna

leave you guys for one second because I'm gonna find the boys room. Oh, okay.

Wait,

should I put my hat on?

You look like a bandit. It's a fashion moment. You kind of look like the

McDonald's bandit.

Yeah, sure. I'll steal your fries if you have some. I mean, food is food. Your

girl is hungry. What's the problem here?

I think it looks hot.

So great to see you.

So great to see you, baby.

Hi, how are you?

Hello.

So beautiful.

Thanks, Billy.

You brought them in Venice, darling.

Right? Yeah.

You look amazing.

Thank you. You're the best.

Hi, Mama.

Hello. How are you?

You look hot.

You look hot, too.

You know that all I want to do is hang out with you guys? Who's your biggest

fan? The only reason why I'm friends with your wives is because I just want

hang out. I'm just trying to get to you. She thinks we have, like, good,

eligible friends.

My good friends are all happily married. So you're useless.

I'm completely useless.

I'm useless. Have you not talked to Ty about this?

Happy birthday. Hi, honey.

Hi. Can you wrap me up in this?

We're doing a group hug.

Are we the only idiots wearing masks?

Oh, shit. Wait, no one's wearing a mask?

Oh, come on.

Wait, that was the assignment.

Come, there's some cheese in here. You know, my favorite.

Hi, there.

Hey, how are you?

so handsome oh my god this is my friend sarah the invite

clearly states bring the person who you either a last had sex with and or be

the person who you want to have sex with that evening so jenna which one is it

and more importantly where do i fit into this equation

What kind of kiss do you want, my love?

Just like a little kiss? Yeah. Really, just a little one? It's my birthday.

That's all you want, is a little one? Yeah. Okay.

I need some more of that. There you go.

I'm the next Mrs. Jenna Lyons. It's going to happen, whether she likes it or

not.

I had to talk to you. What about?

When I first met you, and I was blown away by you, and I think you're a

spectacular woman, I made a comment that probably is not.

the best comment to make. Why don't you have a man yet? Stuff like that. But I

want you to know where I was coming from. I was trying in my wrong way to

compliment you. Okay. And I do not think a woman needs a man on their arm to be

successful. How about we do, we make this like a teacher moment.

Yes. It's just a wrong question.

Yes, it was the wrong question. For me, I promise you. I totally agree.

No, it was the wrong question.

Very much. I love you, too. Let's go celebrate the birthday.

I adore you, I adore you. All right, let's go. Yeah, let's do this, let's do

this, let's do this. Is Jessel here?

I don't see her.

If she were here, would you see her?

I don't think so.

I don't think so.

Thanks.

Jessel's always going to be late, okay? To you, Jessel's just camo, isn't she?

She's camouflage.

You're a fashion girl, she's camo.

What does it mean? It's a group setting.

Just a school in a group setting. She's just one -on -one. That's not my job.

Oh, wow.

Look, it's so cute.

Very cool.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hi. Hi.

Hello, hello. Hi, baby. Oh, my God, you look gorgeous.

You do, too. Let me see. No one's wearing a mask.

No, it's just not attached to my face.

Oh, well, then I'm just going to take this off. Long time no see. I love this.

Hi, guys.

Hi.

I do to her.

I didn't do anything.

Coming up.

I was a little bit thrown off when we were sitting with Jenna and you called

side bipolar.

He said, she's just being a bit.

I love cheese.

I think she's starting out on the right foot. She's ignoring me. That's exactly

what I asked for.

Excuse me, can you move?

Excuse me, I would like some cheese. You know how I feel about the cheese, okay,

Abe? Hi.

You're like a vision.

Oh, my God.

Are you okay?

I'm good. Are you okay? Yeah. Okay. I just was surprised you didn't say hi to

me. I did say hi. Hi, guys. Hi.

What's going on?

Not that much. Just hanging out. Good, good.

Really? Okay. Well, you know, I heard that you were saying all this shit about

my husband.

Like he doesn't wear a ring and that he goes to Vietnam and something's like off

with that.

It's not true. All I do is...

Say what I think.

Listen,

I'm not dealing with this, Erin.

All I'm saying is Brynn told me the stuff that you were saying about my

and I was clearly upset.

And just FYI, like, I heard you don't like me, so, like, you know, let's

It's not that I don't like you. I just don't want to be best friends.

I don't want to be best friends either.

Amazing. Cy, the last thing I need to do is sit there and paint nails and braid

hair. Like, let's just go our separate ways.

I'm so glad we finally agree on something.

Cool. We're good?

Perfect. I never said we weren't good.

Let's just get a shot, okay?

You want to come?

Sure. Okay, cool. I'm going to go in there for a minute. Yeah, yeah.

I already had a dirty martini, which is too much alcohol for me.

Wait, it's too much alcohol for you? I can't do more than one.

Wait, really? Yeah, I get drunk.

That's so cute, though. I'm like a two -drunk minimum.

A two -drunk minimum? Well, maximum. A two -drink maximum? Yeah, that's what I

meant. I...

Truly have, I feel like, tried with you lately to, like, be nice and to be okay.

And I've heard horrible things.

But it doesn't make me lash out like it does you. I'm not lashing out. Okay, but

I've heard that you have a whole notepad filled with shit about me.

I have a fucking checklist that I've been keeping in my phone about this

Apparently she keeps notes on what everyone says.

And how she feels in that moment.

That is wild.

That is so psychotic, and I don't do that. And by the way, to call me a pet

parrot multiple times, first of all, it's ridiculous.

Okay. Don't fight, don't fight, don't fight. Hang on, hang on, don't fight,

don't fight. Why are you putting me with that? She's my friend, but I'm not,

like, we're not the same person.

I can't.

I can't. Nothing makes me happier than to miss out on the drama.

Great. Let me know when it's over.

Every single time.

We get into an altercation, it's the two of you.

That's right.

You guys were fighting at fingers. I was with Uba the entire time. Why in the

moment were you mad at me and not at her?

Why? I don't get it. I was mad at both of you. I think the problem is that

you're not mad enough. Guys, nothing is worth getting mad enough, okay?

Your integrity is. I don't get to a point where I'm going to scream at

I'm never going to put you down. Me neither, by the way.

You take you standing up with yourself with being ratchet.

No, there's a way in your voice and your loveliness to stand up for yourself. I

have stuck up for myself and taken care of myself since I was younger. With

Jessel, I think maybe she's literally incapable of doing it.

I've told her ad nauseum, stick it to these

bitches and you will get respect. And she's not doing it. You guys, let's go

a drink and then we're going to do something.

You know, it's like... and stick up for yourself.

Okay. And what I actually want to do, it's like new year, new you, is I think,

and this is going to sound effing crazy, but I promise, I did this at my yoga

teacher training.

Let's just go around. It could be personal. It could be someone else. If

your grievance, we leave it here, and then it's all done. Why do we want to do

that? So we're airing our dirty laundry? Is that what you're saying?

No, it's not because of that.

It's because of like just... It's her birthday wish. It's my birthday, and I

feel like... Because you both told me all this about, like, you, Aaron, and

Jessel, and just figured it out and ended here. All right, I'm fired up!

fun party trick. Hey, guys, let's sit down and air out our grievances. At my

birthday party, said no one ever.

Yeah, so here's what I'm just thinking. We're going to air grievances, and

there's something that has ran personally in my family.

Povit, I was a little bit thrown off when we were sitting with Jenna and you

called side bipolar.

That's so...

Is thigh bipolar? Yes.

She flips a switch.

I did not mean that.

When you took it back, you took it back and then I was like, yo, yo, yo, Jen and

I looked at each other and we were like, yo, you don't want to do that because

you didn't mean it at all. She didn't mean it.

I'm definitely not bipolar.

Also very offensive considering my mother was bipolar.

So I don't think we should go around maybe claiming that people have a mental

illness when they don't.

However, then I was like, take it back. He said, on record, hand on heart, I

take it back. And he goes, she's just being a bitch.

Did I call Cy a bitch? Probably.

And if I didn't, she's a bitch.

Don't confuse being a bitch with being honest.

I'm straightforward with your wife.

Sometimes she lies. She says things that don't make sense to me.

What am I lying about?

You lie all the time. You have so many white lies that just kind of flicker

away. Everything that you say. The Vietnam thing, for example.

Who cares?

No one gives a... Don't yell at me. Obviously, I have to yell if you're not

going to comprehend... Don't raise your voice.

No one gives a... Literally.

So if you just ask me, let me explain.

Let me explain.

Okay, so just ask me. Don't yell at me. Obviously, I have to yell if you're not

going to fucking comprehend what I'm saying.

Just raise your voice.

The conversation went, Povit booked a staycation for me. I thought it was

sweet. It was lovely. He did it right before he was leaving. He's going to

Vietnam.

In a couple of weeks. And so I'm really happy that he planned this before that.

Then I go to Swinger's, and I'm like, oh my god, you're leaving next week? And

you go, I don't have a ticket.

I didn't say that. I did not say that. Yes, you did.

What's going on? When are you leaving? There's no date yet. I thought you were

leaving next week.

I'm not going next week.

He's not going next week. He's trying to figure it out, like his date.

I have a ticket. It's an open ticket. Right. She said you have a date. Yeah, I

have a date. I had a date, February 9th. Flight's in open. That's gone.

It changes now. Can you explain to me why that is important? Because lie after

lie is annoying.

I don't know when you were flying.

Let's go over there to get some food. I'm starving. You got me. Everyone shut

the f*** up. I'm so bored of this. I'm going to go find my husband.

Okay, your husband. I'm going to go get my pet parrot.

It's Brynn's birthday. I just want to get drunk.

Jeth always says she wishes she was a guy because guys don't give a f*** about

drama, petty drama.

No, we have drama, and then we just let it go. We let it go. That's the whole

point. We let it go. Come on, guys. Come, come, come, come.

You're going to want to see this. You're going to want to see this.

Listen, you have to.

Can you get your wife to like me again? I don't know what the hell is wrong with

her. I don't think she dislikes you. She thinks you're an amazing person, a

human being. But it seems you didn't want to open up.

And I don't know why. It's hard for me to open up. I think it's... What are you

talking about?

I'm just saying it's hard for me to open up.

Like, I don't know why it is.

It just... I struggle with it. If you ask me a question, I'll give you, like,

very, like, umbrella answer. The only thing Cy ever said to me about you

I just want to know about Jess. Who she is. At the end of the day, I just want

to know you. I appreciate that.

I deeply respect that. But I'm not going to beg and plead for anyone to be my

friend. I've realized that when the Q -tip meets resistance, you've got to

digging in there and push the Q -tip out. Okay, here's my pet parrot. You

like tackling hives, and I heard you call people a pet parrot.

Wait, I got a pet parrot.

Oh, my God.

Wait.

This is kind of amazing.

I don't know.

I'm obsessed with the pet parrot. It's the best Aaron move ever. It was

brilliant.

This is a great sign that Aaron actually

has a sense of humor.

There's a moment in time to take things seriously, and there's a moment in time

to laugh at yourself.

And in this moment, we're all laughing at ourselves.

I have to tell you, I'm learning English through you guys, but it's not good

vocabulary.

And I don't think I can use this in my business meeting.

You definitely cannot. Huckling hug, cockling, what is that?

Peppar. Peppar hug.

Peppar.

There's a bunch of things that I... Please go. Teach me the English that I

get money.

I'm really, really, really happy of where my life is going.

I am grateful for the friends I've chose, the career I have led, the

coming my way, and I want to enjoy the journey.

I don't really care how fast I'm going to get to my destination.

You know what this all proves? How much smarter Jen is than all of us. That's

what this proves right here. You don't know if that's the case. I don't know.

That's the case. Honestly, I really don't. I do. No, I really don't.

It's amazing to me what they have that I don't. It's like they have fearless in

a way that I am not. Are you kidding me? You got to the height you got to not

being fearless? I think you're selling yourself short. No, I can have it for a

second. I didn't. I mean, I couldn't walk into the room the way this one

It's funny when you say that because Ty talks about you.

Like you're a superwoman. I'm surprised I'm also flattered just because I have a

ton of respect for Cy. No, she does. I get mad at you when you don't. I get

actually very upset. I know that you're much more than that.

I honestly think that being open has everything to do with the landing pad.

can't be open in an environment that doesn't feel safe. So when the

feels safe and I feel like there's a level of trust, I'm okay. And with my

experience with this friend group, I think I'm feeling the landing pad.

Now what's happening?

I love Nancy Drew books. I grew up reading them, wanting to be her.

I'd, like, spy on neighbors.

This is the best cake ever.

As an adult, when I'm, like, really emo and weird, I'll still read them. It's a

quick read, and it, like, makes you feel good.

Let's do it. Let's do it. OK, boys, boys, come here. Now we're going to do

together. Everybody's hands.

Oh. Everybody's hands. Hand job. Hand job. Oh, man. It's a Brynn hand job.

This is literally my dream scenario.

I just want the husband and the boyfriend.

One, two, three. It should just be me and the guy this birthday.

Yay!

We did it.

Oh, my god. If Brynn could be slapped by 1 ,000 dicks.

on her birthday, I think this would be her ideal scenario.

Well, that's a big piece of cake for a boy.

I don't mind if I sit here, do you?

Can I have some of your cake? Yeah, take a piece.

Thank you. But let's get over it.

I think we should all get over it.

You make me sick, and sometimes I don't like you.

You make me sick too, and sometimes I don't like you. And sometimes I feel

you're annoying too.

Over the summer, you were a bitch with the cheese. I love cheese.

And you know what? I'm over it.

This is a friend group. They are my family. My friends are my family that I

choose. And at the end of the day, sometimes you fight with your family and

that's okay.

Sometimes you get over it and sometimes you got to fight it out.

Hi.

I'm going to call you in like, I'm going to call you like in 20 minutes.

All is good.

That's when I say all is good.

Okay, bye.

Uba, I heard you got a man in Connecticut.

Oh, no. Oh.

Oh, my God.

Britt.

Uba, I heard you got a man in Connecticut.

Oh, no.

Oh.

Oh, my God.

Britt.

Where's Connecticut? What is that? Where's Connecticut?

When was the last time you drove?

Every week I drive.

I go to Hudson. I go to Connecticut.

Brynn, that was fucked up. No, it's not. Yeah, it is. Don't do that.

After the costume shop, Cy and I took Brynn out for her birthday.

We went to her favorite place, Casa Cipriani.

We were talking for a while, and we made a decision. We all looked at each other

in the eye and said, this is the circle of trust.

That's when Cy told us a little bit more about Uba's boyfriend, where he lived,

what he does.

I don't think that's appropriate.

Okay, Cy.

That's someone's personal business.

So you can understand my shock when I hear first thing out of Brynn's mouth is

Connecticut.

The whole thing was confidential.

So she must have heard from Cy. But for Brynn to mention a part of that, I'm

just like, bitch, you don't deserve a birthday.

We should not come. We should take you to McDonald drive -thru.

literally enough rights for you. I started it on camera.

She's fine.

She's very happy.

I mean, she's dating someone.

She's fine, she's fine. You know what?

I love you so much. I was never going to ask you anything.

You did not freak the f*** out about everything. But I'm going.

Going home.

You're going home?

Yeah, I'm done. Happy birthday.

I'm out of here. Is she really leaving?

Wait, she's pissed that you actually named a state that she's dating someone?

And is that what we're really talking about? Anytime something personal,

particularly in your romantic life, is exposed, it's really vulnerable. It's

a good feeling. And I can understand Uba wanting to keep that private. Like,

she's hurt and upset, and I get it.

I repeated something Psy said.

I heard you say it in the bathroom.

You never said where.

Shed.

Dating someone is not my business. It's no one's business.

I don't know who and I don't know where. How did you know that? To God.

That's what I said. The difference between me telling Erin about Uba dating

someone on camera was a total accident. I told her and I instantly regretted it.

Me telling Brynn? All right.

I spilled the beans.

I was drinking, but I asked her specifically, please do not say

You told me she was aging from Connecticut. I never told you CT. Yes,

When did I tell you CT? Geotag. I geotagged and I said CT. And if I did

that, that is f***ed up. That is f***ed up to say that. That's someone's

personal business.

And I said it and I definitely said it. How would I know it then? How would I

know it? It is her story to tell.

That's not okay. So I'm wrong with that.

So I apologize for that. So there was your story to say. And I'm sorry to say.

You said it on camera. She said it on camera.

Yeah, she said it on camera. Yeah, you did.

With her. I said that she's dating someone in CT on camera. That wasn't on

camera. You're saying. You said it was on camera. It was not on camera.

That is her business. That is her story to tell. You don't. Have a good

birthday. You.

I want nothing to do with Brynn. Absolutely nothing to do with her.

I feel like I let Uba down and Brynn let me down.

I'm out.

Uba. Where's the jacket? Where's my jacket? You can try to be mad.

Brynn, you're in a doghouse. This is not cool. And I know she's going to blame

it on alcohol. Then don't drink. Like, no, I'm actually not happy at all. I

thought we were dancing and having dinner.

First rule of circle of trust is don't break the trust.

Cy, Aaron, and I talked about certain things, and that's understandable. Cy

loves her thinking that I had broken the trust tree, but I hadn't. I just

drunkenly mentioned a U .S. state.

Drop down menu.

CP. Why is she blaming it on Cy? Because Cy's the one who told her.

I was. And Cy told me. Ooh.

Did you drink tequila?

I'm really sorry. No, it's okay, it's okay. It's okay.

That's not.

Okay, do you understand? I know, I know, I know, I know. Don't say it, really.

Don't worry.

That's not okay.

Happy birthday.

Enjoy.

Why? Why?

Because for the millionth time, you didn't stick up for yourself and do

whatever.

I am done with this petty bullshit.

If it were up to me to kind of move past everything that's happened, I would do

it in a heartbeat because life's too short.

I'm going to go. Love you. Love you. Happy birthday.

You want to wait inside for the car? Is it a little cold out here?

I mean, you could give me your jacket. Oh, I could give my jacket. I'm cold too

then. This is how you felt at your anniversary party when we actually left.

It's tough, right?

It's weird.

I'm like, I thought we were just going to rage.

I thought so, too.

And people actually get mad about it.

I'm at a loss. This night was not how I expected.

Bye, Erin.

Bye. I think everyone needs to cool off, and hopefully we can all come together

and press the reset button.

A year from now, my next birthday, I see myself in my apartment with one little

cupcake and a little candle because I have absolutely no friends anymore.

Again, again!

But I'll probably be the governor of Connecticut.

Go CT!

Oh yeah,

yeah, yeah.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh,

yeah, yeah, yeah.

Next week, it's part one of the Real Housewives of New York City reunion.

Hi, where are your jeans from?

Oh, it's called Levi's. I don't know if you've ever heard of it.

Shadow and Lions did it again.

Brynn, are you taking your boob out?

Sometimes I get bored, I touch my balls. One of my favorite authors is Judith

Bloom. Judy Bloom.

Her real name is Judith.

Is it?

Let's address the elephant in the room. Yes. Have you eaten?

What is different between TV Jenna and real Jenna?

TV Jenna is poor me, victim, and the real Jenna is powerhouse.

You watched the show, right? I did.

Do you watch it with a blindfold over your face? You don't even remember half

the night. You were drunk.

I had a rough summer. Oh, my God. I can't believe what's happening already.

Maybe you don't know how to be loved, watcher. No, no, no. I'm not afraid of

you. You put people in the hospital? No, no. I put people in the funeral homes.

Oh. I am so...

I'm just nobody on my back.

Where do you go from here?