Original subtitles

Previously on The Real Housewives of New York City.

I'm so excited.

I don't know anything about how you grew up. Me neither. What's up with you? My

parents are from Africa, and we came to England as immigrants.

In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue, and guess what?

Juzzle's parents got to the Mayflower, and they all ended up in London.

What do you think, Sue?

If I looked like Psy or Bran or any of them, none of this conversation would be

happening. One side, I have this scar here, and then it's darker here and

lighter here.

You get to walk one day in my skin, and then we'll talk.

I got to figure myself out. I'm not 27 anymore. These eggs aren't going to

scramble themselves.

No. You should. When I went in for the intake, though, they started educating

me, and they're like, can you just write down on the intake form who you'd like

to do embryos with? I'm like, that's a weird line.

That's a weird line.

You know I love you, but I don't believe your story about the embryo thing. Why

the fuck would I lie about something like that? I'm going to take a time out,

and I'm not going to go to dinner.

I just felt so bad.

I don't feel bad.

It's okay.

I love you so much. Seeing you like this is like beyond heartbreaking.

I just really love you, friend.

The secret ingredient?

Darling, it's me.

My lashes may be fake, but I definitely keep it real.

I'm a true New Yorker. The only bull I'll take is by the horn.

I always bring the flavor. It's not my fault you don't have any taste. In New

York, there's a lot of bad apples, but I'm the baddest of the bunch.

I love to laugh, but make me mad, and I'll date your dad.

Morning, sunshine. Oh, good morning.

Are you going to work out this morning? You know, you just got to make the most

out of your time when you're in paradise. Yeah? Did you work out

did masking. I did like two minutes of stretching and tried to do my job this

morning. Sorry, ladies, I'm just... I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. You know, we're just hanging out in here. There's just a couple of

hoes hanging out. There's just some hoes. What are you wearing? I think I'm

going to do this. I'm going to quickly shower.

Get this show on the road.

Knock, knock. Oh, hi.

Oh, we're getting set.

Do you have celery juice?

Everything for you, Mama. Do you know the key to my heart?

Celery juice? Is bringing me celery juice in the morning. I didn't know if

just wanted the stock as well.

You ate the stock.

Thank you. Cheers.

This is sweet.

Thank you.

I don't want to interrupt your workout.

We missed you last night. I missed you guys.

I chilled. I got some rest.

How was dinner?

Okay, so Jessel was so funny.

What did Jessel say last night? Okay, so we wanted to like learn more because

remember she told us a story about her life.

I actually didn't have anything growing up. I wanted to be in fashion and so by

the age of like 22, I went to New York and I had no money. It was brutal. It

sucked. So the thing is that bothers me about Jessel is I feel like she hears

your story. She hears... side story she hears uber story and she wants the same

story but it's like that's not your story and that's okay exactly you don't

to be like i grew up poor and was smuggled into the it bothers me like

not comparisons that you can make and i was like your parents didn't help you at

all it's okay if your parents i feel like you're not honest about like like

is not adding up to me my parents my parents did not help me why would i lie

about that i mean they didn't give me one single dime i will get my dad on

facetime right now so you can ask him Yes, he paid for my college and all of

that stuff. I would love for somebody to help me. God, I wish.

Yes, okay, so they paid for King's College. Yes, they did.

So she kept going on and on. She was like, my father would not let me come to

New York, so I had to live with my uncle for two years, and I struggled. I had

nothing. So a guy, like, really opened up again, and she was like, look, you

lived with your uncle.

Like, I was homeless.

Like, there was a point where I had $20 in my bank account. I'm not even fucking

joking. There was a point when I had zero dollars and zero cents. It was

negative $498.

They allow you to go into overdraft?

All I ever was was overdraft. My life was overdraft.

Do you know what it feels like to have zero dollars and zero cents? No money,

parents' house to crash in. Having $20 in my bank account was a dream when I

young. They might be the most opposite humans that I know.

I was so annoyed. God bless her. She doesn't know she's doing it though. She

doesn't. She's so out of it. It's ridiculous. I like it.

Wow.

Good morning.

Good morning. How are you doing? This looks fantastic.

Thank you, gentlemen.

Did your whole... Oh, yeah. That was not... Do you not have on panties? No,

definitely not happening. I just saw Jenna Lyons. Definitely not happening.

Pagina. Nice you can't unsee. Good morning, Jenna.

Hi. Hi. We met you last night.

Oh, we should chill. Did you rest?

I did, I did.

Oh, my goodness. Good morning, beautiful. Good morning.

This is not the outfit I left you wearing. Oh, by the way, so, you know,

sharing a room with my princess here.

So she's like, oh, but you know, I don't snow.

I was like, oh, that's great. You're really going to do this right now? Last

night, I wake up in the middle of the night, and I hear, I'm like, what is

noise? Wait, did you record it? I did. Here, play it.

Play it. Play it.

Put the phone in the glass, and it'll make it louder.

That is a low blow, Uba. It's like you farted in your sleep. Chill out.

I don't snore.

Better hear anything.

Why are you still holding out? Jessica doesn't like to admit to anything.

Oh, come on.

I don't snore. That was a one -off.

That's not me, you guys.

It's not me.

I mean, it doesn't really sound like a snore.

It's just like a little, like, heavy breathing.

Very elegant.

That's what it sounds like.

It was awesome.

Or anything.

It's going to be fun.

We're going to all jump in the water. Your beautiful curly hair, the real and

the fake.

It could get in the water. Okay, okay, good.

So I have this long.

I love that.

Little poochie. Very Bodhi. Or it could be a little chilly.

What is that? Lula Johnson.

No, I like the first one. The first one? Yeah, because it's got a little pop of

gold. Yeah.

It's gorgeous.

You're so good.

Wow. What did I miss? You look so pretty.

Thank you. Are we ready, ladies?

We are. Oh, girl.

Hello. You look so cute.

It's a boat day, isn't it? So cute.

Hi, beauty. You ready?

I'm ready.

You look cute.

Oh, sparkly. I love it. Oh, thanks.

This is great.

Very festive.

Hello. Hello.

Hello. Oh,

my God. It's so beautiful.

If I'm planning the trip, was anyone expecting me not to get a boat?

Thank you.

When you think of Psy, think of Lux, okay?

Psy's amazing. I was meant to be here. I love it. Can I make you a drink,

milady? Yeah.

What would you like? Tequila.

Tequila. Something virgin.

How nice.

I just want to know, like, at what point it's okay to throw someone over.

No, no, no, no. No, I'm not kidding.

No, no, it's me. I'm going to throw her over, so just let me know where it's

safe. Uba. She threw me in the pool. She opened the door to pranking.

And now she's just trying to avoid getting pushed back into the pool. But

matter of time. The prank is coming back to you. You started the pranking.

There you go. Oh, thank you, Jason.

Thank you so much. Thank you, Jason.

Good job, Ty. Tell me more. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Love you, girls.

Love you.

Here's to a beautiful day.

Anguilla, I'm falling in love.

Here, just touch your tongue with mine.

Oh, my goodness.

Five seconds away from cuddling. Is that Lancome?

Coming up.

Do you know what your new name should be? It should be Queen of Assumption

because you just seem about everyone.

Good one. Brynn was lying. What the heck is wrong with you?

This is insane.

It's so nice.

Join us, Jenna.

It's beautiful.

Actually, we're stopping here.

I think we're going to go in and just, like, hang.

Oh, my God. Are you okay?

No, I'm so happy. So graceful. I'm so graceful. I'm so happy.

A sea turtle.

You get a sea turtle just right here.

Oh, my God. You guys, look. Yeah, just over there.

I want my insane, saggy, big tits.

Is it normal that I have to pee again?

No. It's not? Leave it for the turtles.

You guys know swimming?

I am. I am.

We're not. You guys aren't? That's if you're eating, guys.

Yeah. Oh, scuba.

This is like, literally, you look like a Balmain -like situation.

You look James Bond.

Yeah, that is James Bond.

alliance can pull off this like what the heck if i if i wore this like that or

that or that take off the wetsuit girl like a shark is going to bite you

they're going to think you're a seal i think jell looks like a babe full

coverage but it's kind of sleek and sexy

because I don't want to get my hair wet. Why get wet when you're already wet?

Wait, so we really missed you last night.

I needed, like, my bodyguards. These two came at me. Which ones?

Aaron and Si.

Really? Yeah.

You got in that sandwich? No, but it was, like, so dumb.

Like, what did they say?

Si asked me a simple question.

Where did you first work when you came to New York? Okay. And I'm like, I lived

with my uncle, and then I got my first internship, and I wasn't making any

money, and then I got my first job, and I was able to move out.

And they're like, wait, so how long did you live with your uncle for? They

wanted, like, timeline.

Yeah, they wanted, like, dates.

And they were not taking any answers she gave them. And I'm like, I'm like...

What do you think they were trying to get at? I think Aaron thinks I'm lying

about the fact that, like, I grew up with nothing.

Like, why would I lie about that?

Yeah. But I feel like Erin's like, oh, you came from, like, a wealthy family,

and you come from, like, this and that, and you didn't. No.

No matter what she said, it wasn't enough. You lied.

What is in it to you to, like, question what people are telling you? She said

that she had, like, $20 in her account. The other person screamed. I didn't have

anything. Nobody's compared how much. $20, zero, it's all the same.

We're broke.

You're broke.

I don't have to explain my shit to anyone. You don't. And also, if I'm

explaining my shit to you, don't question me about it. I don't know what

want to hear from me.

I'm a super rich Indian princess and I have a fucking elephant.

There's no reason for me to be ashamed of coming from wealth. If I was wealthy,

I'd be like, yeah, I'm rich.

Jenna, I'm slamming pineapple juice for us. Thank you. When does this get to be

consummated? Tonight.

The magic happens at night, Jenna. Yeah. I mean, listen, things have not

happened. You know what?

I'm a cracker for good -looking, successful New Yorkers.

I'm going to get you like I did the rest of them. It's all like Donkey Kong.

Let's go.

Bada bing, bada boom. Thank you.

Brynn's incredibly attractive and sexy. We're on an island. Like, who knows what

might happen? Like, not know.

Watch this.

I'll get a ring by the end of this trip.

I'm an old -fashioned girl, so I'd take her name. Brian Lyons.

Oh, my God, I can see it. The invite, the credit card statements, the deed,

house. All right. Thank you so much. You're welcome.

And you're the one right here. Are you single?

Are you married? Like, what's the situation? Yeah, what's the situation?

Yeah,

what's the situation? The lime as well?

Whatever you want. You like the lime first? Do it.

Do it. Do it.

I do the lime first. He's like, give it to me.

Stop it. Now you need to stop it.

Oh, by the way, Jenna.

Yes, love? Rin has something to say. Maybe I have a little crush.

Bottoms up, Jenna.

I'm hungry.

Oh, my God. My view is perfect. I'm excited.

A pilot, Captain Nelson said it was like lobster.

Wait, you think he's a pilot?

A pilot. It's the same thing. They dried there. Do you think this is a PJ?

Yeah. I mean, stop it!

It's a pilot.

We will need you to drive the boat. You want me to drive the boat?

Yeah. Yeah, I'll do it. I can't drive the boat, but I'll ride you. Can you

bitches swim is what I'm going to ask.

Jessel does not need to be operating heavy machinery. I'm going to drive the

boat. When she doesn't even know what the name of the person who is operating

that machinery is.

Guys, I'm your new captain. Watch the wave.

We're all going to die. So scared. Why is it all of a sudden lovely?

How do I? tip these bitches off the boat what do i have to do oh i'm going the

wrong way just see that she brought up to me she's like brenna i need to talk

you and she's like those two out there they came at me last night we weren't

going at her i said just tell the truth she was like they were really like

annoying and getting into the nitty -gritty you guys were doing that that

because i want to hear yeah the truth i know i know i know nothing wrong with

that yeah But she just told Brynn. You told Brynn that we were going at you?

I said you asked me a question, and I was telling you the answer, and then you

guys were, like, dissecting everything.

The answer's not simple with you, Jessel. It's never simple with you.

you, like, did you get help? Did you didn't get help? I told you I didn't get

help. I said my dad did not give me help. Did you not get that part?

The math is not mathing. But to be fair, she did say that.

She said, I would not be able to move to New York if my uncle didn't help me.

Yeah, she'd say that.

These girls don't have an agenda with Jenna. Jenna can say her mother was an

alien, and these girls will believe it, right?

Jethro can bring her mom to them and be like, this is my mom. They'll be like,

we need a DNA, right? It's like, there's no winning here, Jethro.

Like, you don't get what we're trying to say.

No, I don't. You're constantly trying to say, my life was so hard, it was so

hard, it was so this and so that. I'm not constantly trying to say that. But

are. But that's what my reality is.

No, it's not. It's not taking away from anyone.

I'm not comparing myself to Brynn. I'm not comparing myself to that. Because

had a perfectly fine life. How do you know that? Did you live my life, Erin?

Did you live my life, Erin?

Your life was so incredibly hard when you lived with your rich uncle. I said I

lived with my uncle. Did I say he was incredibly rich?

Oh, my God. Did I? You know what your new name should be? It should be Queen

Assumption because you just team s*** about everyone. Good one. Brynn was

What the heck is wrong with you? I'm about to jump off the boat. I don't

understand where this is coming from. Why does it bother you?

Because it's so inauthentic. It just seems like Erin is projecting her

onto me.

I'm not going to try and justify my shit to you guys, okay? You don't have to.

Okay, so then why do you care? Did you grow up in a horrible situation? Was it

so horrible? You don't know where I came from, and we don't. We don't. We don't.

And that's why we ask.

You didn't ask that question. You didn't ask that question. Even if you have

a...

Jessel, even when I'm like, I want to know more about you. Your story is about

your parents coming from Kenya.

Is that not part of my story? No, we want to know about you.

Is that not part of my story? It's that simple.

Why is it simple?

Because I can't get the point across the same show.

Ooh, Brooklyn's in the house in Anguilla.

The vein popped out. I'm like, are we on a boat or are we in the bodega?

Something's going down. I'm going to just grab my snacks and get out of here.

wish I had a little bit of time.

My parents to me is my story. I'm sorry. But it's not your story, my love.

It's not your story. But it's part of how I grew up, okay?

In a generation, people share a story of their family. You are who you came

from. And it's so shocking that these intelligent women, they don't see that.

It's annoying and actually quite embarrassing.

I'm done with this conversation because I don't care. Okay, well, I don't care

that you don't care. Okay.

Are we cool?

Okay. We're totally fine. I'm having a great time on the water. I just drove

this not yet. It's great.

This is not yet.

Coming up.

I'm basically topless in Cancun in the middle of this club. And everyone

is like, yeah.

Did you watch Winnie the Pooh? I loved Winnie the Pooh. Me too. I want to be

Eeyore. I am Tiga. I'm Eeyore.

You are too. I'm definitely Tiga. I'm the only one.

Nobody else can be Tiga. Nobody can be Tiga. Now I know why I got thrown in the

pool. But you know what? I'm going to suffer.

I'm washing my back every minute. How do you suffer? What do you mean? You've

been on the boat all day. What do you mean? Perfectly dry. No, I'm gorgeous.

Because I'm Tiga. In the back of my Oblangaca, I am Tiga.

I'm one of five kids. We love pranking each other. That's how we grew up. Like,

we would go with each other all the time.

I cannot wait to get Uba back.

This light is unbelievable.

All right, come on. Let's get dressed and go to dinner.

Because I'm wearing white, too. I go change. I go change. I look at this

situation.

What's that?

No, I'm sorry. Do you mind?

Yeah, mine. I would absolutely need to find a prenup.

No way.

She's not getting everything.

Okay, guys, let's go, please.

Ready? Here we go.

Get up.

Oh, cute.

Why are you so covered up? It got caught. It got caught.

Hi, good evening. Welcome to Ocean Echo. Hi. My name is Allie.

You can have a seat. Excuse me. Can I have your drink order, please?

I'm going to have sex on the beach without the vodka.

Sex on the beach? Oh.

But without the vodka. Oh, okay.

I'll have sex on the beach with the vodka.

I'm actually just going to stick with this, right? The water? Thank you.

I'm kind of a white wine. I don't do white wine.

Uwe, this is you drinking water.

Like a cat.

Oh, my God, Uwe.

I can't look at somebody. I've had no complaints in the oral area.

I'm sure there has not been a single complaint.

Even my dentist is like, honey.

Fun fact, if you just act like you're choking on it, they love it.

You don't even have to really suck it or figure out how to do it when you're

getting a blood job. Just start coughing,

act like you're choking, and they're like, oh my God, they think it's so hot.

Oh, really? And by them, I mean every man on the face of the earth.

Fun fact.

This is an educational meal.

Fun fact number two. I need to educate my friends. Can't be all fun in the sun,

ladies. Thank you. I'm over here.

Brynn, I'm not even partaking in any of your ridiculous sexiness, whatever is

going on with you.

By the way, this is not appropriate for this one here. It's not. Yeah, it really

is. It's not. Like, people are horrified.

Who wants to be T -shirt fat, Jenna?

I'm in. Like, I am ready. We're picking out rings.

Can I have your dinner order, please? Can I do the tuna tataki? The crab cake.

Crab cake. The Caesar salad.

The snapper. The snapper. Thank you.

Thank you so much. You're lovely, by the way. We appreciate you. Thanks for

putting up with us.

So, wait. Why don't we do this? Why don't we say the most embarrassing story

about ourselves?

Okay. You go first.

I'm down.

Okay, fine.

When I was, like, 12 or 13, I go to the bathroom, and I got my period.

And I was like, oh, my God, what do I do? What do I do? So I grabbed a tampon.

And I remember I go, and I, like, lay on my little twin bed. I'm like, okay,

what do I do? Because I never, like, knew or explored myself or something

that. So I, like, go down there, you know, and I find the hole, and I, and

in. I'm like, okay, okay. You know, and I get up, and I'm walking around. I'm

like, it was weird, you know?

I put the tampon in my butt.

Oh! Oh, my God.

I didn't know there was another hole.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Back, back, back, back.

You didn't know that there was... No, dude, no. I grew up in a Catholic

conservative thing. I wasn't, like, born in seventh grade. Wow.

I can't believe that that was on Insanity Painful.

It wasn't.

Bren, how big is your asshole?

It's like a pretty significant thing to stick up your butt by mistake.

I'm just, I don't know. Okay, just embarrassing story.

Okay, let's set the scene.

It's spring break, Cancun.

We're at the hottest club and inside this club, it's like a grotto.

Like there's like two levels. Love a grotto.

So I'm like, I want to go into the grotto. I didn't bring anything, no

nothing. And so I take off my dress and I'm wearing my underwear and I'm in the

top level of this grotto.

And I see my other group of girlfriends, like they're on the dance floor.

So I'm, like, leaning over, and I'm, like, trying to get their attention.

Guys, guys, guys. I slip, like, in, like, head first into the second level

sport. And my bra, like, goes up like this. And my face is in the water, by

way. So I'm basically topless in Cancun

in the middle of this club.

And everyone is like.

I cannot make this up. Like, it was mortified.

That's what I tell you.

It was so stupid. It was so stupid. It was so stupid. But I just saw everything

that you just described. I saw Jessel doing it. Because it's so Jessel. Jessel

is best when she's just being herself.

I mean, she's so comfortable when she tells this story.

That's the Jessel we love. Well done. I win at stories, I guess. Okay, anyway.

I'm proud of you.

That was a great story. Mine is frighteningly similar to yours. Stop.

Frighteningly. So do you know that place Obar?

Does anybody know Obar? Obar?

Wait, where is this? On the Upper East Side.

Super expensive.

Very, very wealthy people. I didn't have this kind of money. All of them had

black cards. I'd never seen a black card before.

At the entrance, it's below. So you go down this very steep set of stairs.

As I'm walking down the stairs, my coat is dragging on the steps behind me, and

someone steps on it.

I go...

headfirst, like a rocket. And my dress is silk. I literally flip and slide.

You don't understand. It was warped.

The sound that I made slammed into the wall. And

who picked me up? Literally,

Ralph Fiennes.

I

saw

Ralph Fiennes in a bar at a hotel in London,

probably 10 years later.

I don't know if he remembers. I don't think so.

I should have told myself before.

What? Stop. Details.

What?

Coming up.

That is my bitch.

I shit on myself before.

What? Stop.

Details. What?

It was a track meet. And I was in high school and it was so bad, but I was out

there.

And I was already waiting for the race to start.

Oh, my God.

The gun went off.

No. I run second leg. I see her coming around the corner. I say, okay, I got

I got this.

I take off right in. She says, stick.

I say, all right.

Oh,

my God.

I don't think it was that much. It was more like a big shark.

Oh, God.

Well, for me, I don't know if he's an embarrassed story. I don't know.

Because I always think all the guys just want me for some reason.

For some reason. That's what I just think. For some crazy reason. For some

reason. I'm like, he's looking at me, he's looking, he wants me, he wants me.

You can't have, you can't have. Anyways, in the club, I love, like, dancing and

stuff. So I went to the bathroom, and my favorite song was playing.

So I, he really starts, and I drive myself, whatever, and I'm running to go

dancing, and this guy is chasing me. Hey, hey, hey. I'm like, what?

He's like, hey, you have a toilet paper.

The last time I was embarrassed was when I was on a flight with my kid and

Elijah would not stop crying.

Is that terrible?

Is that it?

That's it?

That's it?

That's all you have, Erin?

And my kids are embarrassing me on a plane. Like, that's everyone. That's

mother in America, in the world.

That's not a fun story.

Why don't we go hang out at the house? We can have a few drinks there. Okay.

love that.

Tomorrow, we're going to do a rum tour. Rum tour.

Gold. And then, because it's our last night in paradise, we're going to do

dinner at the villa.

Yay! I'm happy. I want to have dinner at home. How was everything?

It was fantastic. Everything was fantastic. We love you. We love you. I

guys.

So beautiful, thank you, but it was the prettiest no don't come on

everyone And

she

believes it This was the best story

Jenna, are you going in the hot tub? Yes, you are. The party doesn't stop.

you just fart?

Ew. No, I didn't.

I have so much work to do. I'm so behind.

You do tomorrow morning.

I'm so behind. You do tomorrow morning.

Such a dumbass is Uber.

Thank you.

Have a good night.

See you tomorrow.

Do not tell her I have her phone. Do not. I'm going to push her in the pool.

change.

Okay.

Don't throw me out.

I love you.

I love you. Don't do it.

What do you mean?

I love you.

You're like reminding me. I know. I forgot.

Oh, I forgot. You forget.

I know that I'm not leaving this trip without this weave getting in the water.

Listen, I started, so I'm okay with it. But it's like the anticipation of it.

It's not fun.

I can't swim.

I really can't swim.

Take it.

It's otherwise going to happen at the worst moment. You're going to be really

upset. You want to take it now or you want to just suffer all day?

Tomorrow you'll suffer all day.

Throw you in the ocean.

Guys, I had so much water today. A lot of water.

No,

she better. I will murder you if you even come here. What are you going to

I'm not going to throw you out.

Otherwise it's gonna be like this No

This

doesn't count by the way

That is my fish!

I just needed to push Uba in.

It was like timber!

And it was great.

By the way, that doesn't count.

It doesn't count.

It doesn't count.

It's not payback that Uba's in the pool because I didn't push her in. But that's

okay because I also have her phone.

So I have another prank going.

Coming up.

I'm not getting out of here first. I did not say your name.

Oh,

God.

Oh,

God.

I am so pissed.

You know, Aaron had my phone and didn't want to give it to me.

Do you know I have a family that I need to tell them that I'm okay?

She was pranking you.

She's pranking you from throwing her in the pool. But you threw me in the pool.

The deal was already done.

But then she said it wasn't even because I did it.

She didn't do it because she's a pussy.

She couldn't do it. When I came to find my phone, Jethro came to look out the

phone with me.

So I group text through Jethro. Erin is replying back with a bunch of

emoji, but we don't understand what it is, right?

I sleep very light. I came out and saw her walking around looking for her

I knew Aaron had it. I told Jessel, go upstairs. Aaron has it.

So I go upstairs and Aaron has it. And she's like laughing.

Like who takes someone's phone in like another country?

No, I knew she had your phone. I did? I knew she had your phone. That's why I

told you to go up there.

So you knew that? I said to Jeffo, I said, go to Aaron's room. Aaron has it.

At this point, I'm pissed at Aaron and Cy, because Cy knew Aaron had my phone,

and she didn't say it. Everyone, when they lose their phone, the first thing

they go panicking. Your credit card is in there. Your password, your pictures.

This is a serious matter. Like, I want it on my phone. I'm going back to bed.

I thought you were going to go to Aaron's and curse her up.

I'm going to find her. She's going to be awake somewhere.

All right, well, I'm going to relax.

Of course I would want to know where my phone is. Like, I'm addicted to my

phone, of course. I want to call my family. I want to get on the gram. I

do all the things. I wouldn't have dwelled on it the way she is dwelling on

but I understand it.

Okay, we have to hide the evidence.

Hide the evidence.

Hi.

I am the worst singer. I see that.

Anyway, I heard Uba screaming.

Oh, she's so... I'm mad at you. Really?

Yeah, I mean, I would be mad at you, too.

Really? For taking my phone and me not knowing where it was.

She realized that it was gone. I gave it to her.

Like, how f***ed up is that? It's not like we're home, where I can just go to

Apple Store.

This is like another country. This is everything I have to connect me to my

kids, my husband, the outside world. Like, if someone took this, I would be

f***ing pissed.

Uber is obsessed with her phone. Yeah, but literally she didn't even know it

gone. She checks her phone every five minutes.

It was a prank.

I've actually never seen you so upset.

This is stupid.

Did she apologize?

She has no idea that she did anything wrong. Or she did anything wrong.

I have not tell her anything.

I just don't want to worry my family. I have upset them before. My phone dies

all the time. You're not married. You travel all the time. You're by yourself.

You're a girl. And then you have sisters that are worried about you.

Thank you so much for texting her. I really appreciate it. Of course. Uber,

course. And this makes even much more sense why we share a room. Thank you.

First of all, she should be thanking me because she left her phone in the car

and I went and got it for her.

She's so annoyed by it. She needs to calm down. She's so unreasonable.

Of course I was going to get the phone back to her. I literally had her phone

for 45 minutes.

It wasn't that long.

Okay, I'm starved.

I swear when I get back, I'm going to detox.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Good morning, guys.

Good morning.

Where are all the other hookers?

Who cares?

Do you run still?

No. My knees are bad now.

You've been on your knees a lot?

A lot.

You've got really a head on mine.

I stroked my way through life.

I'm so proud right now.

Always a smooth ride.

Things got a little bumpy along the way.

Good morning.

What do you mean?

What do I do?

Oh, my God.

See that look?

Hi,

Amore. Do you have hot water?

I'm literally so scared. It's terrifying.

She doesn't even look at me.

Good morning, sweetie.

How are you?

Good morning.

Why are you getting a kiss? What did I do?

And safe.

Feels like shit. It feels actually very mean.

It feels really mean.

Why did she come out of you?

Why did Zuba come out?

Wait, you don't remember taking her phone last night?

I do, but I took it for an hour and I gave it back to her right at night.

But I was kidding. It was a joke. She does not find it funny.

No one a joke is a joke. Yeah. Everyone needs to take like a humor class or

something or go to like a comedy workshop. This is the problem with the

Were you ever going to give it back to her last night?

Of course. I just told you that I was. Okay.

Erin's a mother. She has kids. I think that if the tables were turned and that

she was on the other foot, it would have been, you know, a problem.

Why are you so mad? Are you representing Uber? No, no. I'm asking Erin a

question because I wasn't up there. In the case of the missing phone. I'm not

representing her, you guys.

Against Erin.

Okay, Jekyll, you texted me and I sent an emoji like this.

And I knew that you guys would all understand that me going like this meant

I had the phone.

I honestly didn't know if you had it or not. I don't know. This really was

supposed to be like a little stupid fun joke.

I'm just like, I had to sit there and she was like, I'm just telling you.

All right, should we get dressed?

Yeah.

You don't get your ass beat, girl.

Coming up.

You took my phone. You had my phone.

You had my phone. Get away.

Hi,

honey. Good morning, wifey. Oh, my God.

You're so sweet. I've been up all morning.

I just wanted to make you.

Something special.

Okay, we have everything that we would need.

We have some fruit here for you. My first thought is deep excitement that

was taking care of me.

There's banana wrapped in bacon.

And then there's Greek yogurt.

And then chocolates because Valentine's Day, love chocolate.

Yeah, and then French toast.

Wow, and the hot sauce. My second thought was what the actual hell is on

plate. I just figured if all else fails, I could just put this on my boobs. I'm

so sorry.

I mean, this is going to go so well.

I'm feeling really good about that right now.

Do you need something?

Well, sure.

Let me do you and then you can do me.

This is like the staging.

Aaron!

The run train's coming.

Ethel, are you ready?

Hi, Lucy.

Why do I just love, like, sitting in this tub? I don't know. It's cute that

do that. Wait, have you even seen or spoken to Erin yet?

No.

I am very annoyed with her for turning this in. Because it's our last day.

You're right. Basically, at lunch, my goal is to be blacked out.

I was thinking about it.

We're all friends.

What if I had been someone who really doesn't like to be thrown in the pool?

Like, she took a chance by throwing me in the pool.

Right. You know what I mean? I happen to be fine with it because I'm chill.

Yeah. But, like, how am I supposed to know that she's so crazy about her

Someone took your phone for just a short period of time. It's not that big of a

deal. Chill out. We're on vacation.

Aaron thought she was being funny. Aaron, leave the funny to me. And that's

I don't think the punishment matches the crime.

Exactly. She's shaking in her boots, let's be honest.

But she's downplaying it, you know that. She's like, I don't sound like, what's

the big deal?

And then she was like, why are you trying to be her lawyer? I'm like, I'm

trying to be her lawyer.

Maybe I should call her husband to be my lawyer.

Are

we

ready to roll?

All right, shall we do this?

All right, let's get this show on the road.

Did you get a boob job in the last hour?

Yeah, your boobs look great. Huge.

Where's Jenna?

She's coming.

She's in her room?

Yeah. I heard you brought her breakfast.

Yeah. I'm going to exercise.

You really? This is how I'm going to flirt. You're working. I'm working it.

Showing her what I'm capable of, you know?

Right now I'm intimidated because Uber's making it a point to single me out, not

to look my way. I'm a little scared.

Should we bring bathing suits?

Just in case.

I'm going to go grab a suit.

Oh, I left something.

Erin was here, right? I hear her saying my name.

Stop saying my name when I'm not around. I didn't say your name. I heard you say

your name. No, no, I said Erin was standing right here. I don't care what

saying about me right now. I don't want you to say my name. Guess what? Get out

of my face. I'm not getting out of your face. Get out of my face. I did not say

your name. Get out of my face. Take these glasses when you're talking to me,

first of all. Do not grab me. Listen. Do not grab me. Give me my phone. I'm not

listening to you, no. Give me your side glasses. You are not allowed to speak to

me like this. You took my phone. You are not allowed to speak to me like this.

You had my phone.

You had my phone. Get away from me. Why do you have my phone? Get away from me.

Why do you have my phone? Uba, I'm not kidding. Get away from me right now.

Try.

Try me. I'm not going to try you. I'm asking you to get away. Try.

Next time on The Real Housewives of New York City.

I

have

got her back.

By calling me a spoiled brat.

you are literally putting myself on a control crew whatever the it is aaron

she talks mad about you you're like just like the dumb dumb of the whole group

i've been playing nice in the sandwich i have a checklist about this okay no

you're getting accused of throwing someone in a pool i got accused of being

blunt and funny why are you bringing this up now because she's riley no

No, don't tell me what to do. Shut up! You're such a bitch.

No, no, you are a bitch. And guess what? It's coming to you.