All language subtitles for The.Real.Housewives.of.New.York.City.S14E06.720p.HEVC.x265-MeGusta[eztv.re]

Previously on The Real Housewives of New
York City. Are you dating now?

I am.

Who's the lucky lady? I'm not sharing
that.

You know what's coming back? Handjob.

Anything that has a job in it, I don't
want a job.

If Jess will say anything about me, tell
me.

I just got carried away, and I felt like
the cackling hangs were ganging up on

me. Cackling hag?

Jenna comes over, and she was telling me
all these things that you had said

about me. Maybe we are not... Yeah,
yeah, I'm on the same page. Like, I

have time for, like, fake friends.

My intention with that conversation was
to, like...

You know, just kind of get over it. And
I'm sorry if I, like, offended you in

any way, and that's not my intention at
all.

Oh, kitty.

You know how we've been planning our 10
-year wedding anniversary?

Anyway, December 14th, mark your
calendars. We're having a big party.

December 14th? December 14th. Oh, shit.

What?

The secret ingredient?

Darling, it's me.

My laugh is maybe fake, but I definitely
keep it real.

I'm a true New Yorker. The only bull
I'll take is by the horn.

I always bring the flavor.

It's not my fault you don't have any
taste.

In New York, there's a lot of bad
apples, but I'm the baddest of the

I love to laugh, but make me mad, and
I'll date your dad.

Nice seeing you.

Oh, my God.

Hello. How are you, darling?

I am so good. How are you? Looks
amazing.

I had to dress up. I'm coming to see
you.

Where's Tat?

Where did you come from?

I was in Miami a few days. This is not
New York, Tat.

I'm pale and I'm black.

Jacob is the juror to the star, to the
1%, if you want to just shine bright

diamond. You go to Jacob.

Ah! Hello.

How are you?

This is gorgeous.

Hi, I'm Jacob. Hi, how are you? Aaron,
nice to meet you.

This is an insane looking store.

Thank you. I love it, but why am I here?

To borrow jewelry.

For the party? Something borrow,
something new, something this, right?

Yes. I love you. Thank you. You can come
in here too, Jacob.

I'm not passing up millions of dollars
worth of diamonds to wear at my

anniversary party. Thank you, Uba.

I like it. I could live here.

Welcome to Kiernan's Abyss. Hello.

How are you today?

Good.

So a dear friend of ours is having a
10th anniversary party. It's a huge

It's going to be downtown.

I would say it's creative black tie.

But they're very, like, cool. Is she
bothering you, sir?

Is she harassing you? Is she harassing
you?

Hi, lovebug.

What's taking place? How are you? Good.
Kiernan's Abyss is quintessential New

York. The best fashion. We have a lot of
things going on. We need to shop.

Everything's on trend.

Honestly, my Disneyland.

I have no idea what I'm wearing. Do you
have a sense of what you're doing?

I think I'm going to go, like, very,
like, black tie -ish more.

Oh, really? Yeah.

Like, you want to be the bride?

Uh, yeah, no.

No, then I'll end up running away from
the party. Do you want to overshadow

Erin? Is that what I hear? No, not at
all.

I have been engaged three times.

None of my engagements worked out
because I wasn't ready.

Why not just say no?

To the proposal.

It's easier to say yes.

You look in their eyes and it's like,
it's very difficult to say no.

I know you went on a date like this
week, right?

Yes. And I left him at a party.

What? I just got bored and I was like,
I'm going to leave. So I just left. Was

he like, where are you? Well, I texted
him when I got home and I was like,

I left.

I'm ready to settle down.

But I can't do this anymore.

I'm old.

I'm tired.

You know what I'm saying? I don't want
to date anymore.

I don't want to get to know people.

I don't want to be like, am I going to
be your parent?

When's the first time we can poop in
front of each other? I don't want to do

of that. I'm just ready to like be
married and old.

And then the next day I was like, sorry,
I left. You know, that was, I should

have given you the heads up. Why should
you apologize? If a guy did that to me,

he wouldn't be like, there'd be a
horse's head in his bed the next day.

How do you guys even know each other?

Oh, we met years ago. In Monaco?

In Monaco. What chair was it? Is that
Prince Albert?

It was Prince Albert. The environment
thing. And we've been best friends ever

since. I mean, your stuff is really...
Thank you. He saved you. And I will make

sure that you wear something special for
this party. Oh, thank you.

Right? This and the earrings.

Oh, my God.

Like, I'm in love. I know you're
borrowing it, but I feel bad for Abe.

He's going to have to buy it.

They're not expensive.

They're not? I don't think so. How much
are they?

$224 ,000. Oh, nothing.

Nothing? Nothing. Oh.

Like a down payment on a house.

I'm loving Uber right now for bringing
me. Like if anyone else was like, oh,

going to take you to get millions of
dollars worth of diamonds so that you're

tripping at your anniversary party, I
wouldn't believe them. But it's Uber. I

have how much here?

$220 ,000. Okay.

$224 ,000.

$224 ,000. Wow.

I already felt like a million bucks, but
now I feel like two and a half.

Wow.

Brynn, you said you wanted to do
something black tie, and honey, that is

Your body is ridiculous.

Did you read Erin's party invite
closely?

Is there a penis on it?

That would be interesting. Wait, did I
get it? Yeah, I got it. There's just

a lot of, like, sponsors at the bottom.

Okay. I don't recognize any of these
brands.

It's like a Coachella poster. It's like
brought to you by... But hell, teacher's

on. I mean, look, they're the ones with
the house in the Hamptons, not me, so...

Am I going to have to pay for bottle
service at this party? You may have to.

you know I promoted a Wookiee Man? What
is this? What are we walking into?

I'm wondering, how have you been?

Oh, I've been crazy.

Yesterday, you were so stressed. I was
not in a good mood. I know. I was

really... But you showed up. You were
really good friends. I felt like if I

didn't come, it would...

leave kind of send like a bad message
i'd rather be friends with jessel than

like pissed off by her all the time with
all her stupid comments i don't need to

hold the scratch so right now jessel and
i are good i want to have fun with her

at my party and move on but like she
also made a comment like i'm a woman who

supports women like insinuating that i
don't yeah but you just like don't call

them names yeah you call women names
like old hat like how is the downfall of

instant cackling hack I felt like there
was some unresolved, like, stuff between

Aaron and I, so I wanted to squash it.
Did you actually apologize for the

cackling at the end? Because I do think
you should, like, form actually

apologize for that. Well, I feel like my
apology on Thursday at my event was an

all -inclusive apology.

You know what I mean?

Or no. Do you think I had to, like,
what?

I mean, I literally was like, I'm sorry
for everything. The generalized apology

that I gave, that is actually, oh, isn't
this a buffet?

No.

It's all inclusive.

You think I have to bring it up again?
I'm not going to bring it up again.

I apologize.

I put a Band -Aid over it. Maybe things
are bubbling under the surface. But at

this point, I'm just moving on.

Life's too short. You know, and she made
an effort, and thank you. But let me

just be clear. She's had a problem with
you. She's had a problem with Cy.

Jenna left her house. She has a problem
with me.

Like, I don't think it's us.

There's a common denominator.

There's definitely a common denominator.

Coming up.

Oh, my God. Are you doing this on my
table?

No, not on my table, Rio.

Honey, did you... You've got to be
joking.

I don't think you've met Emily.

No. You may not recognize her because
she's cut her hair.

Oh, my God. You're not getting these
bitmojis.

Wait, did she put me in a dog costume?

That's me.

Since leaving J .Crew, I had attempts to
do things that I had really been

wanting to do for years, like interior
design work.

I renovated a brownstone, and
ironically, I got more attention for

did for my career in fashion.

So just to get you oriented, Emily
bought this cottage outside of Toronto.

think what I want to do today is just go
through lighting, furniture plans, and

I don't know if we're going to get
through everything.

Hi, how are you? Hi.

You look gorgeous. Yeah, how are you?

I was going to say you look gorgeous.
Oh, thanks.

Emily and I are friends. We were
introduced about two years ago to date.

You look studious. Oh, wait, are you
wearing a Canada sweater?

Oh, my God, I love you. We didn't have a
love connection, but we had a friend

connection. And then she bought this
house and she was like, would you help

the interior design?

So just kind of snowballed. Do you
notice anything different about me?

Your hair is really short.

I'm wearing Troy.

Oh my God. You're so sweet. Thank you,
babe. They look gorgeous.

I also started a brand of eyelashes
called Love Scene.

Emily's been like probably one of my
biggest supporters.

She's like, send them to me. I'll do an
unboxing.

I'll wear them and I'll give them to my
makeup artist. It is really meaningful.

My makeup artist.

I love her.

Or

inside the

box. I love that idea. In here? Like a
coffin?

Are you working on a horror film?

Are you really?

So... The question I have is, this is
your dining room table. Do you remember

that really insane over -the -top light
fixture that we were talking about? I'm

feeling like maybe that's a little bit
too much for this.

You decide.

Okay. Like, if you want to spend all the
lighting budget there,

then does that mean I can go dark for,
like, everywhere else in the house?

And then you get your coffin bed.

Oh, my God.

Oh, hi.

Sorry I'm late.

I mean, after 12 years.

Are you used to it? Why are we at David
Burke? We haven't been here in years.

Hi. Hi, how are you? Are we up yet?

Yeah. Nice and warm in here.

Dave and I have been together 12 years,
10 years married, and tonight we're

celebrating our 10 -year anniversary.

Can I get a coat? Yeah, I'll check it
for you. Thanks so much. Do you want me

check your coat too?

Yeah, check yours. Why not?

I'll keep it for you. Why?

Just like having my cook.

That's weird.

Hi, guys. How's it going?

Hey, how are you? Good.

Should I give you guys a few minutes?

Let's start with oysters, lobster
dumplings, and then can I have a dirty

martini? What's this dream catcher? It's
just the tequila. Is it like a

margarita or salt?

It is. Thank you. Thanks.

I feel like we've been downtown for so
long that I miss coming to the Upper

East. I just don't really like going
above Canal.

but for you. When we went on our first
date, you were uptown, I was living

downtown, and you were ped.

I was annoyed that you asked me on a
date and you made me come close to your

apartment. If I catered to you, there
would have been no second date.

Probably not.

So now all I do is cater to you.

Um, the party.

The party is coming up. What do we have
to do?

We need to, like, send the run of show
to Rachel because our friends want to

make these speeches.

We have to tell them to, like, limit the
time. Two minutes.

But I'm nervous about telling you my
vows. Yeah.

I'm a little stressed about writing my
vows because I've never done it. I think

we didn't say vows the first time around
because we were just so young, and the

rabbi did the whole ceremony, and
honestly, we didn't really think of it.

I was at work writing that, and I
started tearing up. Really?

Like, actually.

You? Like, what the hell is going on?

I just want to tell him how much I love
him. However that comes out, hopefully

it's received well.

We got married pretty young. You were a
baby. Were you 24, 25?

25. 25?

We barely knew each other.

I proposed to you after nine months.

even i just kind of locked eyes and we
understood each other on a level that

can't really explain we're like
opposites but oddly similar he's more

more crazy he's relaxed i'm in overdrive
we have really good balance that's why

we work i don't think people realize how
important it is to be friends like if

we weren't married like i think we would
be friends

Couldn't be funnier if you were not one.

Okay.

I mean, just being honest. Spend so much
time together.

Oh, lovely.

Got some oysters here for you.

Thank you so much. Not to be a pain,
but... He doesn't want his fruity

drink. I think Don Julio and Yale, just
on the rock. On the rock. Do you want a

big rock or a bunch of rock? I'd love a
big rock. Ooh, I want a big rock, too.

Thank you. You want a big rock?

I do, actually.

Wait, is this a joke?

Get that away from me. Is that real?

No, I couldn't not get you a thick ring.

Is this a joke?

I'm almost like a little pissed off.
Like, how much did you spend on this

Like, where'd you get the money for
this? Holy sh... It was pricey, but she

deserves it.

I love you. Thank you.

I have to give you another one.

Yeah,

but my dress is like... I love you.

Coming up...

Sorry, I didn't want to scream.

Can you come out here for one second? I
just want to have you take a look with

me at the school application stuff.

Sure.

What's going on?

Did you get the application?

We had to email the Montessori school.

I got the email, though.

Can you send it to me?

Like, I don't think you understand,
like, the urgency of all this. Like, we

have, like, less than two weeks to get
these applications in.

This preschool application process in
New York is psychotic. We've narrowed

preschool search down to two. I mean,
I've narrowed it down to two schools.

Pavit has been sitting on his ass,
fiddling with his balls.

We're going to need to do, like, an in
-person meeting.

Okay. And then we need to start, like,
prepping just between us, like, what

realistically we're able to do.

So I love this one because it is
international.

For instance, like, they have campuses
in, like, Brazil, Sao Paulo, Hong Kong,

New York.

All we care about is New York. It's
where we live.

No, I get that. But, like, they teach in
Mandarin and they teach in Spanish. So

you're, like, immersed in this, like, in
this language. I mean, imagine, like,

our kids could speak Mandarin.

But at the same time, they can't even
speak English right now.

They do speak English. What are you
talking about? And then the second one

Montessori, which is actually kind of
cool because celebrities, tech

entrepreneurs, it's like a very, very
high -profile school.

How about race car drivers?

You keep joking about this stuff, but we
have to get this stuff in. I get it,

but they're so young right now.

I think you need to take a look and see
if this is feasible.

Are you crazy?

What? $62 ,000?

For what? Coloring?

No, I mean, look, they give materials,
snacks, field trips. You get an iPad and

you get an Apple Mac if you join the
school. Oh, great.

You're paying $62 ,000 for an iPad and a
Mac.

That's ridiculous.

I mean, this is, like, what it is.

It's something we really have to focus
on, and you need to, like, invest now

imagine, like, you know...

Tom Cruise sent his kid here.

I mean, you could be rubbing shoulders
with that.

In New York, where you go to school is
your status.

He doesn't see it like that.

Puppet thinks in dollars.

His Google is cheap is best for
everything, or best cheap is for

But you cannot get the best if you're
cheap.

Oh my God, they're asking for boards and
organizations.

Are you part of anything?

Except for, like, the fried chicken
committee that you, like, eat? It's the

Street Food Association of New York
City. They want a statement from us.

What do you mean? We are interested in
parents' thoughts about their child. Oh,

my God. Which one are you doing?

I'm doing real right now.

We're with thoughtful, intelligent, and
socially inept. Is that a word?

Is inept a negative thing or a positive
thing? I don't know. Is it?

Can you click on that? I thought you
were the English major.

Oh, shit.

Socially inept people don't know how to
comfortably socialize. Can you delete

that? Now you're going to mess up our
child's education before you even start

it.

I like that. Me too.

Oh, my God. Are you doing this on my
table?

No, not on my table, Rio.

Come. I saved the day.

Look at this.

Me too.

Color till your heart's content.

Me too.

Yeah, but, you know. Honey, did you see
this?

You've got to be joking.

You've got to be joking. Can't they do
it up here? This is why I don't like

anything in here.

No, no.

Can we do it up on here?

I got very lucky with David.

He's always there for his kids. Like,
watching him as a father, I'm amazed.

I'm actually jealous I didn't have a
father like that. Like, he is above and

beyond for his children.

Parenting is so difficult.

Parenting is difficult.

Working.

I feel like I just had a million events.

including Jaisal's event.

And apparently Jaisal and Aaron got into
it. At the event? No, no, no, no,

prior. And Jaisal got really emotional
with Aaron and started crying. Why are

you getting emotional?

You should not even be having a
conversation in front of you. Rio, you

your masterpiece and surprise me.

Okay.

I was like, what is the deal? What
happened with Erin? I was like, why did

cry if somebody, like, called you
pampered? I didn't understand it. On top

taking care of twins, she's starting
working again. Yeah. If someone was to

me out or pampered or this or that,
she's juggling all this stuff, I might

pissed off too. Yeah, absolutely. Think
of how overwhelming her past year has

been. You're right. I find it funny that
the ladies come to you to discuss

feelings.

You have many strong suits, but a
counselor is not one of those.

I have a tendency to be very hard on
people just because of my upbringing and

not becoming a victim.

So I tend to not be so empathetic.

Yeah. Maybe I just don't listen too
much. I have that tendency to, like, not

listen to people. When someone opens up
to you emotionally, you tune them out.

Amazing. You know what? Your husband
must be so lucky. I know. He's so lucky.

He's so lucky.

David really helps me see a situation
from a different light. It is a great

partner, but sometimes I wish he would
just agree with me and just shut up. Oh,

by the way, Erin is having her 10 -year
anniversary.

You and I, baby, are headed out and
about. We need a babysitter.

Can I wear a track suit?

No. I don't think it's black tie, but I
think it's a very formal... There's no

athleisure? No. Can I wear this with a
tie?

No, David.

I don't think that's appropriate.

Coming up... There's a lot of wieners in
this place.

Put them into my mouth.

Uh -oh,

JJ. Where's Daddy?

I don't know.

You don't know?

Abe? I'm in.

Hi.

Hi.

Here, you just get your options out.
I'll hold them.

Okay. Oh, these are sick.

Right? Yeah.

How cute.

It's a two -piece.

Do you like it?

I mean, obviously.

I don't think I can wear this thing.

I think it's too, I don't know, not
cute, right? Okay.

Oh, God.

It's going downhill fast.

Oh, my God.

All right, I'm going to try the dress.

Here, number one.

I feel like it.

This is not it.

Hi. I don't know. I don't know.

Oh,

hi.

Yeah, I don't think that.

Okay.

Is that for me?

Oh, that's for me. I thought I'd pour
you one more for myself.

Cheers. Cheers.

You know, it's like four in the
afternoon.

When have I ever talked to you before?
You're such an a -hole.

Let's, like, chill for a minute.

There's a long night ahead of us.

I know.

Like, a long night.

Um, have you talked to any of the girls?

Mm -hmm.

Well, Brandon's bringing her girlfriend.

Maybe she wants to, like, meet guys at
the party.

There'll be some, uh, some of our
friends that she might like. Who else? I

she RSVP'd. Did you find out Jenna's
bringing a date?

No, I have no idea. Is she dating, even?

I don't know. She doesn't talk about it.

She's so private.

Not everybody's like me.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's it. That's the one.

Do you like this one?

What'd you think, boo -boo? Yeah.

What'd you think of my babe, babe?

I feel like I'm missing somebody.

Jessel. Oh, shit.

That's so bad. She's coming. And you
know what?

I'm actually excited to have fun with
her because she apologized, clean slate.

I'm, like, ready to, like, have fun with
Jessel.

You know, and I know you love Abbott.
Yeah.

Good. I think it'll be fun.

So there's a lot of hairspray in this
wine. It smells like hairspray. Oh, this

is just bad wine. Which one?

I ain't bringing out the good stuff on
you right now. When I get pampered,

bring out the good stuff.

Can I see what you're wearing? I know
that you did shopping on your own, and I

always get nervous when you shop on your
own.

Why do you get nervous?

Because. You have? Well, excuse me. It
took almost seven years to get it right.

Oh, shoot.

With Puppet, I don't think he cared so
much about his appearance before I met

him. But listen, if you want to be with
me, you've got to look a certain way.

This is what I brought.

It's a nice double -breasted corduroy. I
love that.

I created a monster.

Nowadays, he blow -dries his hair every
day. He gets his eyebrows done. I made

him stop that. I was like, why are your
eyebrows thinner than mine? And he looks

like Zoolander, but he loves to look
good.

Wait, where's my mic? I'm literally
going to drop it.

Isn't it beautiful? That is amazing.

Drop the wine.

Drop the wine? And then your kid will
lick it off the floor like he did last

time? That's cool, right?

Louis is calling me.

Hi. Are you excited? Are we going to
dance all night?

Why are you in bed, like, in a jacket?

I'm so afraid to give you this news.

So I picked my dress. I got my diamond.

I ate because I was afraid you were
going to feed me.

Why do you always think I'm not going to
feed you?

Don't tell me you have COVID.

Do not tell me you have COVID.

Oh, I can't believe you're not coming.

I cannot believe you're not going to be
in the jewelry with me tonight.

I'm a million dollars more expensive
because of Uba and she can't even see

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry you can't come.
I love you. I hope you feel so much

better.

Okay.

I love you. Bye.

I'm going to start getting ready.

Oh, my

God. You did such a good job.

I was speechless.

It is beautiful. And also the venue is
so special.

Hall de Lumiere, which is on Chamber
Street. It's an old bank.

It's like this beautiful piece of
history in New York City.

Hi.

Hi.

Say hi to Jackie, my friend. Hi.

How are you, Eric?

Nice to meet you.

So, was that them?

Yeah, but I met them last.

I know.

It's a whole production, this thing.
It's like wearing, like, armor.

Dad has a girlfriend.

great at least she's of age oh my god
doesn't this look beautiful this is very

common and not surprising wait i have to
find the bodyguard i'm so excited hi

erin nice to meet you i'm robert from
jacob and company you're my security

bodyguard i love it maybe you'll forget
that i'm wearing them you'll let me take

them home i haven't lost anything yet
are you gonna jinx me good robert from

jacob and co is gonna follow me around
until i'm ready to give him back the

jewel

Cal, can you help me?

It may not be tonight.

Make sure that doesn't fall off, is it?
You got it? Oh, yay.

He'll be in bed with us.

He'll be like, I'm still here.

Keep it going.

Thank you so much. Nice to meet you.
I'll see you lurking around, I'm sure.

Coming up.

Where's the hot dude?

Where? Are we making moves?

I'm single, so I'm making moves.

Wait, what?

What happened?

Feels like a bank or a courtroom. My two
favorite places.

Why are there so many men here?

I'm not complaining.

Hi, guys.

Hello. Hello.

Hello.

Is it because I look like the stepmom
from Parent Trap?

I've got my party stockings on.

I have my outfit. I have my fur.

I'm flying pretty high.

Keep the glasses on because the eyes are
bloodshot.

Oh, wow.

You look beautiful.

Hi.

Happy anniversary.

Thank you.

Do you remember Sarah Pan?

Hi. Hi, Mama.

You look hot. How are you?

Hot. Is this hot? I'm going to hit it
like it's so hot.

Miranda's still in her sunglasses.

Nine o 'clock.

Take them off.

Wait, wait, I have to meet your dad.

Oh, gosh.

Yeah. Don't hit on my dad tonight.

I'm 100 % hanging on your dad tonight.
I'm going to hit on my dad. Also,

dudes everywhere. I know. You know what
I was going to say. Is this my birthday

party? Oh, so pretty.

Oh, my goodness.

Uncle Judy.

Hi. Hi, honey.

David,

this is my friend, Brian. Hi. This is my
brother, David.

Oh, your brother. She's going to hit on
my brother. Lovely to meet you.

Hi. Are you Aaron's dad?

I'm Tessel.

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

You're married?

Yes, yes, I have been.

When did you get married?

2014.

How long ago?

He doesn't know anything.

Two kids.

Oh, we're twins.

No,

no, no, no, no, no.

Is that what you told him? Two and done,
two and done.

I spent three years trying to have a
child. I have seven embryos that are

chilling in a freezer.

My girl is in there.

Puppet thinks he's two and done.

No, no, no, no, no.

I want to say hi to Erin.

Erin, everybody's waiting for you. I'm
like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm wearing armor.

My dad's saying he wrote this. You can
see her move.

She's married, she's taken, it's okay.

It's okay.

I don't allow, I don't allow.

There's a lot of wieners in this place.

Put them into my mouth.

Oh, hello.

Hi.

You know, at the event at her house, I
saw you for like a split second. I know,

but I was there for like 10 minutes. My
kid was sick like it was chaos. I know.

You should have just texted me. It's
like, it's not a big deal.

No, but you know, like we had our thing
and I wanted to like show up before. I

know it was important to you. Thank you.
You know what? I really wanted to like

actually start fresh. I want to have fun
with you. I really appreciate it. I

told you.

Thank you.

I mean,

I don't make a habit of grabbing asses.

Part of my repertoire, or maybe it is. I
should check that.

Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. Now I
feel like a total weirdo.

Look at you. I didn't even know you had
a hug first.

Is this her idea or yours, or was it a
mutual idea to do this?

No, it's a real reason.

We never did that. It's just, like, we
were so young, and I just didn't think

about it. So we had to do that.

didn't think about it it's what every
wedding has i'm just trying to get my

around that maybe we didn't we weren't
ready we only knew each other for like a

year and a half at that point you
weren't ready to make a stage about we

ready to commit to each other for the
rest of your life yes that makes a ton

sense sorry sorry i don't mean to
interrupt hi how are you my hands are

sorry okay me too this is beautiful
isn't it pretty it's so They did a good

You're thirsty?

Yeah, I'm so thirsty. I went to London
school in this outfit because she had a

performance. Wow, you're committed.
Thank you. I mean, I wanted to surprise

Where's David?

He couldn't make it because our
babysitter was there.

David didn't really care, though. David
was like, I'm sorry, but I'm fine with

staying home.

This place feels like Bank of America
holiday party meets a charity gala meets

bar mitzvah.

I think I'm a little bored.

How do I like to entertain myself?

Binging.

Opa! Opa!

Don't worry, it's sponsored. It's fine.

Good to see you. How are you?
Congratulations.

Hi, good to see you. How are you? How
are you? What a name.

Like that.

He was like, oh my God, you're blue.

Hi, Eddie.

How are you?

Wait, you need to come for Shabbat. I
know, I need to. Oh my God. No,

you got to do it.

Now, when you're ready to get a divorce,
I'm single, and we're just going to do

a swap, right? It's just like a swap.

You can't take her anywhere.

Wife swapping, I think, happens after
the 20 -year anniversary.

20 years. 20 years. Okay. Another 10
years. Yeah.

That's what we talk about. And then
you're going to wife swap. I'm patient,

I'm patient. I think we're going to do
our vows soon, though.

Wait, if you didn't say vows, then
technically you're not married.

No, there's a contract.

Okay. I made a whole, I set a whole list
of all the videos.

Someone knows that's how to get out of
my dressing.

She's trying to break through, I'm
telling you.

This is great. Friends will love this.

Whatever you do, don't mess up and say,
I ain't taking friends.

It's not you I'm interested in. It's
actually Aaron's dad.

Because then I'm going to become Aaron's
stepmom.

I cannot. Did you imagine you got a
stepmom? I wouldn't make a great evil

stepmom. Maybe she'll be amazing.

I like that.

What's the look she's going for tonight,
by the way?

She's going to be literally like, this
is it. It's perfect.

Hey, Mom.

Hi, Mom.

And here's the thing, too. If I was
their stepmom, I wouldn't let her call

Brynn. No, you have to call me Mom now.
Like Mommy. Oh, my God. Call me Mom.

Mommy. Mommy.

Let's go find people.

Okay.

You're sparing me from being your
stepmom. No, no, no. You have a lot of

to like.

I've got to lock my shit up.

I'm ripping on her party, and I'm
hitting on her husband.

All right, I'm making, like, vows with
you two, and I need to have a drink.

Who's the hot dude?

Where? What hot guy? Oh, he's really
hot.

What's the deal? Would you ever sleep
with a guy again?

Sure. It's the right one, yeah. I feel
like we're, are we making moves?

I'm single, so I'm making moves.

Wait, what?

What happened?

Really? Wait, what happened?

Did that just happen? We've been
planned.

It's happened.

Jenna,

how, how do you feel? Like, how are you
feeling? I mean...

It's been a little, it's been rough. You
know when you think your life is going

one direction and then it takes a turn.

I dated this person for almost a year
and a half. It's not been consistent. I

think that there were signs.

Like you get excited, you believe
something is going to be. And so when

future goes away, it can be really
heartbreaking. You know, I'm not getting

younger.

Was it a mutual thing or was it
something that you felt?

Do you think it was because this person
wanted to be more vocal?

The other way around.

And was like, I don't actually, like,
this is not what I had in mind.

Yeah. I was like, I hear that. Yeah. And
it's not like I can turn it off. So

it's been, we've been like.

You can come hang out at my house. Thank
you. I'll bring you tons of mom pills.

Thank you. And you can come hang out
with us. Thank you. Bring your son.

Jenna's finally opening up.

And I wish that she would show me more
of this side of her. She never wants to

talk about a girlfriend or introduce us
to this girl. And now all of a sudden

this girl breaks her heart. And I'm
happy that she told me this because now

feel like she can lean on me. I feel so
bad. I'm so sorry. Thank you so much. I

feel very protective over you. I
appreciate that so much. Really, I do.

It means a lot. Thank you. Would you
like to have a threesome with me and my

husband?

Cycle, apparently.

If you guys haven't had sex in a year
and a half, I don't think I should be

entry line. Yeah, you're right.

Actually, she'll be perfect.

You can, like, sit there and direct
everything that's going on.

I'm not into training.

Like... You move over here.

You're wearing the wrong collar. I'm
just kidding. No foot.

Like, you don't want that. You totally
break the feel for us.

Coming up.

I just want to tell you, it's a little
rude. Can you, like, get more

Are you going to go around and... I'm
telling one of the people to it.

is talking.

Well, this is the other one.

They're looking at dresses.

They're amazing. They're in love.

They're hot.

They're rich.

Like, let's just keep drinking.

You know what I'm saying? I'm rubbing it
in. You sound like an old bitter hack.

Old cackling hack. Like speech after
speech after speech.

Can I wrap this up a little bit?

Is this thing still on? Please shut it
off.

I think the people that she should be
telling to zip it is

maybe... Because we're dead.

You're right. You are right. Mom's
fabulous.

Yes. I'm sorry.

She's right. I'm dying.

All right.

A very special moment right now.

Am I going to get the opportunity to be
like, does anyone speak forever hold

your peace?

Abe, I truly can't believe we've been
married for 10 years.

When I met you 12 years ago in a bar.

Lower East Side called the draft.

I never thought I would be meeting the
man I would call home.

Hey, I'm going to need Adderall if you
want me to pay $10.

Cool, Ella.

Lots of people back there talking.

I promise you, you are my best friend.

I think even if we weren't married, aka
not attracted to each other and didn't

want to have babies with each other.

We would still be best friends.

That's what I heard. Did anybody else
hear that?

I wake up every day thanking God for the
life I've been given with you, but

mostly for the coffee that you leave on
my nightstand.

Let's celebrate everyone.

Thank you for all of you.

My left foot is falling asleep. My eye
is drooping.

I really hope we're done.

All right.

Aaron, lately it's occurred to me what a
long, strange trip it's been. I love

the dead. I love their lyrics for random
things like wedding vows because they

make sense.

From the moment I met you, it feels like
we've been connected through the

universe, through time, space.

I told my parents the next morning when
I met you that I met the girl I'm going

to marry.

Oh, that's cool.

That's really sweet. That's nice, right?

I will always be your rock.

When the sea of life gets stormy, I will
continue to keep you satisfied

emotionally and definitely physically.

You're not my soulmate.

I love you more than I ever have.

And I see you, and I love you.

I love you too, Nicko!

Alright, let's skip.

Hungry there's no food here.

There's absolutely no food. I asked Erin
where the food was and she showed me

piggies in a blanket I'm a pescatarian.
I don't eat piggies in a blanket.

And that was my sign. I'm going to go.

Listen, I came. I supported.

I sat through all the speeches.

You wouldn't even notice me if I was
gone. I'm going to Nobu, honey. I'm

At the very least, she should have said
goodbye to me, which is exactly what she

said Jenna should have done when she
dipped out of my house. I think it was a

little rude not to say bye.

It was rude.

Aside from that, this party is
everything I could have expected.

Everyone's so excited, so happy for us.
And it's just a really, really

beautiful, special night.

Okay, silly face.

Yeah!

We got it.

Now let's dance.

Next time on The Real Housewives of New
York City.

My name is not my real name. My name is
Judith. My brother used to call me

Jenna, Jenna, Jenna Talia.

Oh, my God.

No. My dad keeps asking me when we're
going to have a baby girl. Your parents

don't even know you've been IVF so far.
There are some things that, like, I've

been wanting to tell you.

Mm -hmm.

I think Aaron's going to be happy for
leaving just so you know. I honestly,

between you and I, don't.

Rin, like, oh, so you can get out of the
marriage.

Which is not cool.

I don't think it's funny to joke about
being divorced on my anniversary party.

If you accuse me of flirting with a
married man, it's going to really get

It was a joke. Don't flatter yourself.

Yes, it is. Because the party was
boring.

I don't want to be here anymore. You
guys all suck. Bye.

Merry Christmas.