Original subtitles

Previously on The Real Housewives of New York City. What are you serving, Uber?

Chocolate, darling.

I'm a round -the -way girl, through and through. I always will be. Sometimes I

see people looking through my brownstone, and lo and behold, look at

fashion industry is extremely small.

Jenna and I have rubbed shoulders several times. I'm really excited to get

know her a little bit better. I would have loved to work for you. I feel like

would have been so fun. Well, ask people who work for me.

That bitch.

It's like there's this innocence to her. It seems very real. Like, she's not

jaded. Like me.

How are you all with Bryn now?

I'm still a little bit salty about that night. I won't be caught dead.

Wait, it's not 2006?

I'm not a D -list model.

Then you go to lunch with Guy and you start talking.

And I don't like it when people say... That I didn't say. Cy and Brynn ditched

the group dinner and then they posted on Instagram that they were at Casa

Cipriani. Yes, I did do that. A hundred percent.

Let's move on from it. Give me a hug. It's hard to stay mad at Brynn. She

it light enough that you kind of forget.

I could leave you right now and over so hard. I am a true friend.

The secret ingredient?

Darling, it's me.

My lashes may be fake, but I definitely keep it real.

I'm a true New Yorker. The only bull I'll take is by the horn.

I always bring the flavor. It's not my fault you don't have any taste.

In New York, there's a lot of bad apples, but I'm the baddest of the

I love to laugh, but make me mad, and I'll date your dad.

Thank you, sir.

Hello? Hola.

Hi, where are you? I'm outside.

Okay, I'm coming right now. Okay.

Hi, boo. This is my travel vibe. I love it.

We're going to the Hamptons. Erin invited us out to her home, which is

Girls, I really want to invite you to my house and experience my version of the

Hamptons. I've never been to the Hamptons in the fall.

So this is going to be really nice, and I am looking forward to a weekend away.

Could you help me with my bags? They're still in the house.

I travel super light.

I have two more garment bags.

They're backseat. You don't have one more person coming.

It's not my first trip to the rodeo, okay? I know what the Hamptons is. Yes.

I packed for my move.

Overly glamorous.

Cranky bitch.

Country club.

Equestrian life.

Around the way chick.

Hipster who lives in Williamsburg, because I definitely had some, like, ugg

slides. And I'm for east side rich bitch.

She has more.

Side packed for every single Instagram post that she's going to post for the

next six months.

I thought I over packed.

The girl is all about content.

I'm going to need to make money. Good for her.

Oh, Jess is here.

Hi. Hi. How much do you have? Oh, my God. Did you get your head down? You

amazing. Are you kidding me? No, I'm going to put this in here. How much

do you have? Hi, I have a lot of stuff. How much stuff do you have?

Okay, you guys are giving me my stuff?

This is all of Uba's stuff. I can't believe she would bring this much stuff.

no, no. Uba.

Uba.

Uba, I cannot wait.

We're not going to fit it.

Okay, let's go.

There's five other bags in here.

Hold on. Ow.

Oh, my God.

The things I do for clothes, man, it's just insane.

Wait a second.

Are we missing Brynn?

No, Brynn is not coming. You're coming, right? You're coming with us?

I don't know. I'm trying.

Tomorrow I'm going to get a steroid injection if I don't feel better, but

I'll just be late.

She's not feeling well? She's still not feeling well.

I'm hoping she comes by the morning.

Where am I putting these girls?

The Jenna here.

Looks cute.

Brynn.

I'm really excited to have the girls over. I grew up going out east since I

eight years old. And then when my husband and I met, we decided that we

to get our own home.

Because both our parents actually Hamptoned. Is that even a thing?

So cute.

We took the funds from a flip we did in Bushwick to buy a depressed property

that looked like before I renovated it.

It is now five bedrooms with a finished basement and seven bathrooms.

Caviar.

Hi. Hi.

Oh, my God. Thank you for coming.

Of course.

Thank you so much for having us. I'll give you a hug just in a bit. Yes, I'm

excited. Your house is beautiful.

Yeah, this is gorgeous.

Where do you want to set it up? I think right here is perfect. Me too.

Do you know if they all eat caviar?

I mean, who doesn't like caviar?

Shanna apparently likes dry heaves from dill.

So be sure to give her the dill.

I am not prepared for Cheesecake 2 .0. So I picked caviar because that's a nice

bougie snack for these bougie bitches.

Like, she's not allergic. She's dry heaves. I've literally never heard

like that in my life.

Well, actually, I'm really happy that we're doing this, even though it was

really tough for me to agree to stay in the house.

Wait, were you serious? No, 100%. I want to stay in a hotel.

I'm pitching a tent for you.

People get the wrong idea. Oh, is my house not good enough for you? I'm like,

when I'm traveling with people, I need a full night of sleep where I'm not

worried. Like, it's night sleeping. Do you need melatonin? Yeah. So you're

saying when you're alone, it's just...

Your time to be off. It's your time to be you.

Yeah. What is this toilet paper?

Hey, what is it? I don't know what kind of ply she has.

I don't know what kind of toilet paper she has. I'm very serious about my

paper. Oh, my God.

Sometimes you just got to bring her up. I thought you were joking at Jenna's.

I'm not joking.

I might show up with my own toilet paper. I don't know what kind of ply you

have. I don't know. Oh, my God.

I grew up broke on one ply. I have elevated my lifestyle, and therefore I'm

going to elevate my toilet paper.

If she has one ply of toilet paper, I'm going to let her know. Wait, I have a

question. Are we shopping for everyone's lunch and bringing it to the house?

She said she has a few things for us to snack on. Maybe like a cheese plate or

something. I don't eat cheese. It's you, bitch.

You're the one who doesn't eat the cheese.

I don't eat the cheese. She said it.

The oldest time we've been pinpointing die?

Damn it, Uber.

The whole time it has been you who does not eat cheese.

How'd you come up with these?

You know what? We've been experimenting quite a bit. Because I feel like caviar,

a lot of people have not tried it.

How have people not tried caviar?

OK, Uber now.

Hi. Hi, Amore. Hi, Amore.

Are you stressed?

No, no, no. I'm just, I'm cutting flowers. So there's, like, flowers

Do you have food?

So, hi, thigh.

Hi.

I have a whole caviar set up.

Caviar? Yeah, is that not good?

Okay,

so you don't like caviar. Okay, got it.

It's like five minutes. I'm preparing a whole spread of caviar.

And you're going to get a sandwich at Provisions? I can't.

Provisions is the Bergdorf of supermarkets.

Okay, I love you. Bye. Bye.

I'm getting hungry just making all this stuff.

Can I eat this or am I wrong? No, go for it.

Hello?

Anybody home?

Who's that?

Hello? Who's there?

Hi. Oh, hi.

You're here first.

I'm here first. Hi, baby. Hi.

I've never been on a girl's trip. I don't remember the last time I had a

sleepover. I mean, unless something else was going on.

I don't know what to do.

Hi. Hi.

We have some caviar. Do you want to try this one?

Okay. Where is it?

Hold me.

You're so rude.

You know, even with my glasses off, I can see that.

I wasn't going to let you eat it.

What happened with me and Del?

She still can kiss my ass. I have no interest in Del.

It does not deserve to be on the planet, as far as I'm concerned. Del is

delicious. No.

Yeah. No.

Okay, but talk to me about Pringles and caviar.

It's an unusual combo.

It's delicious. It's the best.

Not no.

Not no.

Not no. That's her slogan.

Jenna's a new friend. She just entered into this group.

I feel like I know Jenna really well, and I want Jenna to come to my place and

be with the girls so they can really get to know her the way I know her.

Okay, wait. What's over here?

This used to be a bedroom, but now it's the TV room. I can't believe how big

this house is. It just keeps opening up. I always joke that it's a great place

to trip at because you can hide. Where am I going now?

How many square feet is this?

6 ,500 to 6 ,500.

My house is maybe the size of your kitchen in this living room. No. No,

,500 square feet.

Is everything okay?

Yeah. Are you nervous about this weekend?

No. I'm a little bit. I'm excited.

You are? You're nervous?

You know, sleeping over is like a different thing than having cocktail.

Why can't, like, you'll love it. I'm nervous that, like, I'll be awkward, I'm

not going to fit in. I'm nervous I'll say something stupid.

I'm nervous I'll, like, need alone time and everyone will be like, what the

hell, why?

But I'm here and I'm excited, like, cautiously excited.

Okay, first of all, I want to know, what do I get special before they get here?

You want more special things? I don't know. I like to be first and then get

special things.

More caviar?

Yeah, let's go have more caviar. Should we go have the caviar and then tell them

when they get here that it's all gone? Yeah, we should.

We're all good.

So guys, what do we think our activity is going to be? I've never been to the

Hamptons in the winter, first of all.

There's a whole pack riding.

Yeah, I haven't ridden anything in a really long time.

When's the last time you had sex?

Since I've had the kids.

Huh?

Coming up.

On the other end of the phone was our head of PR and our CEO. And the post

we have information that you are seeing a woman. Would you like to confirm or

deny?

Since I've had the kids.

Huh?

I haven't really gotten, like, down and dirty.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Your children are one.

Yeah, it's been a while. Are you kidding?

I thought the point of being married is to be able to get laid all the time.

Who doesn't get their pipes cleaned in over a year by their husband?

Poor girl.

But why aren't you having sex?

Because we're both exhausted.

Yeah, but that's what keeps your relationship together. Two things are

finances. The relationship is over.

I know. I mean, I feel really awful because I'm really like self -conscious

about my scar, like the C -section. Oh, because you had a C -section. Yeah, and

I still feel raw. Not raw, but like I feel odd.

You're getting blowjobs, right?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The toothless, yeah.

I do that.

I'm not worried about my marriage. I know my husband can't perform.

I know I'm good.

It's just, you know, we need a little kick up the butt.

I don't want to use that.

Can we go lingerie shopping?

Yes, actually.

Why don't you wear, like, a cute little thing that covers the C -section scar?

Something that might, you can either, like, pull the panties over.

How about just have a hole in it?

Like a glory hole?

Jess, let's just hop on your husband's D and get to work. It's like riding a

bike. It's been so long. It'll be so quick, and then we can move on. I think

just need to pony up. Because if you don't use it, you'll lose it.

So beautiful. Oh, my God. Look at the vintage Mercedes.

That's adorable.

These are for you.

Oh, my God. Thank you.

You're welcome.

Olive oil, which I love. Do you know what that is?

Vodafone? Yeah.

Welcome. Oh, my God. We're not in New York anymore.

Whoa. What a banging.

I need to pee so bad.

Wow, you're banging pretty hard there.

Hi. Hello.

Hi. Welcome.

In case you need it in your skeptic tank.

Just in case. I was raised that you don't show up to anyone's house empty

-handed. Hi.

Hi. I'm sorry, I don't have anything.

But I'd rather her be empty -handed than...

Bring me a roll of toilet paper. Hi, baby.

You look so cute.

Oh, my God, you look... Oh, wow.

You know what? Oh, my God.

Maybe we should share a room.

Erin, you want to come help us? I can help you. I'm not wearing shoes.

You see that? Uwe's wearing three jackets. No, she's wearing everything in

closet. I don't play with cold.

Okay,

let me open this one.

Whoa. Holy mother of God. What is happening back here?

There we go.

It's a party.

I'm dying.

I need an assistant.

There's nothing that surprises me about the number of bags.

Listen, I don't think I've ever seen Saiyan the same thing twice. She is the

definition of an influencer. She's probably going to have three different

outfits for the entire day. I don't have the stamina, but, you know.

She rolls deep.

My husband said I better wear everything that is in the suitcase. I probably

will wear one thing.

Hello.

Hi. Hi.

How are you? Good. I'm Cynthia.

Hi. So nice to meet you.

Oh, this looks amazing. I'm going to wash my hands. This is so beautiful,

Yeah? Welcome. I love it. It looks fantastic.

Thank you.

They put the caviar in Pringles?

You a high -low type chick?

You went to the bodega. You got the Pringles. You couldn't even give me a

Erin.

Oh, my God.

You want to do the rooms? Sure. You want to bring your stuff out? I can bring my

stuff. Okay, I'll help. I can't do that with her. This looks amazing.

Thank you. I love that. Thank you, thank you.

Holy.

I wasn't kidding.

What the?

I am kicking these bitches out after three nights, so I don't know where they

think they're going with all these outfits.

It's off -season in the Hamptons.

You guys are amazing.

I love the service around here. I got to tell you. Well, we don't have service

attached to this house. I mean, thank God I'm not wearing my heels.

I would topple over and die.

Okay, so you were originally staying with Brynn, but now she's not coming

tonight, so you have your own room. Okay.

This is amazing.

Well, I put you in here because it's a big mess. Oh, my God.

I have to, like, move around to fit it in here.

This is not going to work for me.

Where am I supposed to put all of my moods?

Do you have any living quarters that might be a little bit larger?

No. No, I'm kidding.

I don't. I'm just kidding.

That's your room.

Yeah, I'm already in.

I love it.

Beautiful. Oh, my God.

I love my room.

Erin House is stunning. And the best part of Erin House, the cherry on top of

the cake, it's literally a seven -minute drive to Provision.

I think this is you, Jethro. Oh, this is so adorable.

Oh, my God.

It reminds me of my childhood room. So cute.

Jenna's room is beautiful.

Uba has a mirror in her room.

It's key.

And I have Layla's room.

Yeah.

I love you so much. These pajamas are so adorable. Aren't they cute?

Thank you so much. You're so welcome.

You're like the best host.

Do a 5 -5?

I have a 5 -5.

We'll do it all.

I haven't really ever had, like, a girl's group. I'm okay one -on -one, but

get really taken out in a group.

It is not where I excel.

Unless I'm, like, the boss and standing in the middle of the room and everyone

has to listen to me. Like, that's a lot easier.

Wait, so what are we doing tonight?

We're going to Topping Roads. What time? I'm so excited.

I don't know, like, 7 -ish, 6 -30?

What are you wearing? Are you wearing jeans?

I mean, I love that you're asking me. I literally brought sweatpants. I brought

58 outfits. I'm just going to get dressed for no reason. Why not?

Are you wearing a dress?

I'm going to wear jeans. I plan to use all of my outfits.

Do we remember that I am a content creator?

I need looks. I'm here to serve, okay? I'm here to serve.

In your home here, you have, like, no clothes.

Well... It's a little complicated. I rented my house out and then my mom got

sick. And so I never sort of put my house back to, like I never moved back

So I moved out to rent it. Yeah. And then things happened and I left town.

I'm so sorry, by the way, about your mom.

Was it a month ago?

I guess six weeks now.

My mom was sick for eight months. She was doing well. And then the last two

a half, three months, it turned quickly.

You and your mom were really close?

Not at all.

Coming up.

Can't you just have sex in the shower? They haven't broken the seal yet. We

haven't broken the seal yet. Do it.

Go home.

You and your mom were really close?

Not at all. My mom had Asperger's, so she didn't have the ability to make

connection. Connection.

Well, she knew that she was always called out for saying weird things or

being cold or for not having any kind of emotion.

My mom had no idea that she had Asperger's. She got diagnosed much later

life. Growing up, I knew something was missing, but I had no idea why. I just

thought our family was different.

Which is why when I met Jekyll's mom, I completely fell apart because her mom

was like literally the mom I wanted.

You've given me more attention than my mother ever gave me. It's kind of crazy.

I can be your mother. I mean, you know that. I'll pay you.

Your mom is very, very loving. She's very sweet.

Even just talking to her, it's like it makes me choked up. It was just so

We cried.

It makes total sense to learn that Jenna's mom was very cold because Jenna

sometimes behaves that way. You get glimpses of like the Jenna that we love,

which is the warm and open and the outgoing, but the way she was raised, it

creeps back in. There's something so like gentle and authentic about your mom

that felt really good. Actually, I got to meet this woman.

She's so chic and well -put. And she's poised. Stunning.

And she's stunning. I mean, I don't know what the hell happened with you.

Do we need to go to provisions and get things free? Yeah, I would love. She's

literally been talking about provisions since we got in the car.

I can't handle it. I'm going to get you a refill. I'm going to come with you

because I'm so hungry. I'm going to eat more caviar.

They're always complaining about food.

Like how much eating needs to occur?

Why do people eat this?

Sorry, I shouldn't say that.

It's very good. Why would I feed you lunch at four? We're going to dinner at

heaven. I feel bad because I haven't eaten.

I had a half avocado and a banana.

And I'm six feet. You've got to feed this machine. It needs to eat.

Bitches can't starve, but I'm out.

Bye, I'm leaving.

Bye, see you in an hour or two.

I'm crying because I'm so hungry.

Aaron. Yeah.

What are you going to eat?

More caviar. Caviar.

Why are you laughing? I'm sorry.

I'm angry.

Uba has very specific things she'll eat, and Sai just wants to eat everything,

so having only caviar as an option might be a little bit exclusionary, but I'm

happy. I said we're having caviar. I didn't know that you guys were going to

lunch. Come to my house, you get fed, you get good drinks, you get good toilet

paper, but that's just me.

Not everybody can be me.

I still don't understand why you're an hour late.

Were you trying to put out? Oh, no.

Wait, I think that you can help. She needs, like, lingerie, like, to spice

things up. I have a whole bag. There's lingerie for everyone.

Oh, my God. Can you go get it? Yes, I'll go get it. See? This is perfect.

Try it on. You want to try it on? I'm going to try it on now.

She's so sweet.

When was the last time you had sex?

Um, it's been a while.

Like a really long time. Like how long? Like since before the babies.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. I need, I need to understand. That was the last time

had sex? Like actually?

Yeah. Oh my God.

I have no words.

The emoji.

Emoji. You guys don't understand.

What don't we understand? That your vagina has cobwebs on it.

We're going to spice up your life.

Jenna, you really need to work because she just told me she hasn't sex in two

years. Actually, it's not a joke.

Wait, wait, wait. Okay, guys.

Sorry.

We're going to send you home with some lube and some lingerie because this is

crazy. It's not a joke. Listen, I have twins. I don't have time. I don't sleep.

I barely eat. Of course you have time.

Those kids go to bed at night.

Do you have a good vibrator, at least?

Uh, no.

I should actually get one.

That one's for you, Jessal.

Oh, my goodness. Thank you.

Oh, my God. Good color.

This is gorgeous. Okay, wait. So just keep in mind, I told her that we were

coming, and she knows who you are.

Hi. Oh, my God. Yes.

How come you guys are all this, like, sexy?

And I have this like. Oh, that's very sexy. You don't think that's sexy? No,

is. I mean, but this is like naughty sexy.

Oh, I love that. No, I'm actually going to wear this out underneath a blazer.

Yeah. But I do have the most covered up situation.

It's this green thing.

If you look through my Instagram, I feel like I give off sexy fun vibe.

Grinch vibe.

I don't know about that.

As far as the most covered up, I think it might be me.

Because I feel like this is a lot of cover up.

Oh, wow.

But that's very you.

This will not be happening in front of anybody.

No, we're all trying it on tonight.

We are.

Let's do it. You can't. You can.

You can too.

No, no, no. You will see behind closed doors why I would not. I have a pretty

rare genetic disorder.

That's why I never show any skin.

The scars are just hyperpigmentation.

The one place I do not have any scars or any model is right here in this landing

strip. So that's why it's often on display.

I think she should wear, like, a garter. I really want you to have sex. Like, I

really want you to have sex. I want to have sex, too.

Oh, I got this nail.

Oh, no, no, the cafe's closed.

What the?

Okay. Hi.

Hi, Uwe.

It's closed. It's closed.

Coming up.

Oh, let's go to the head of the ship.

Do not. You can't go in there. My God. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Can I try

Get out of here.

Cocktail time.

Oh, actually, this is the bag I need to take. Wait, no.

You can't have Alexander Wang on your back and Balenciaga on your back.

Seriously? No.

Is it, like, too much? It's too much. Is it a fashion victim?

Okay. Jenna Lyons called me a fashion victim.

One label's fine. Like, you don't need to have, like, it's too much. Jessel

works in the fashion industry. Like, what are you doing?

All right, we ready?

Uwe, let's go. I'm thinking I don't need a jacket.

I think you'll be fine.

I'm not regretting when this happened. Party.

Party with a party.

And where are we taking us? So we're going to Topping Rose.

It is one of my favorite restaurants out here. The food is exceptionally good.

I'm so excited we get to eat, you guys.

Are we going in here?

So cute.

Hi.

Welcome.

The party has arrived.

Welcome to Topping. My favorite restaurant.

The twerking has begun.

It's really pretty.

Where is North?

What do you mean?

Like, the positioning?

Are you serious?

Why do you care which way is North? I sit right here.

Like, Uwe's the only person who could bring a compass to dinner, and I would

be surprised. I'm like, of course.

There's her compass.

Super special.

Very special woman. This is why I love New York, because you only meet people

like that here.

You need to face north when you're sitting?

It depends on my mood. Like right now, I want to face north. Is that because

it's a mecca? Do you want to sit here? What's happening right now?

My phone has comfort.

I like to face north because it reminds me to be my true self.

True north, you know.

Before, they used to know with sun. They can lick their finger and see where the

wind comes. They can tell that way.

Since we became dumber and dumber and dumber, I'm using a compass.

Good evening.

How are you?

I'm good, thank you. This is our menu.

Which kind of cocktails do you prefer?

Virgin drinks.

Yes. Bring them those virgin until we can't walk anymore.

Okay. She's feeling ecstasy.

I don't drink. I drank when I was younger.

Not good news.

Also, I smoked weed once.

Hospital straight.

My life is so beautiful. I think any time I try to, like, escape the

life I have, God is like, get back there.

I don't drink. I don't like being hungover. Not fun.

I feel healthier.

I feel more present.

I'm happier not drinking.

Can I have a dirty martini with Belvedere?

I will have the same, but with Hendricks. Can I do an espresso martini

tequila? Thank you.

So, what's the plan tomorrow?

Okay, so tomorrow we are... So,

I think we'll all be hungry in the morning.

Yes. Starving.

We're not doing breakfast before working out. Well, I was going to make

shakshuka. Before we work out? What are we doing for a workout? My trainer is

coming over. I don't want to eat breakfast and then work out. I will

Yeah, that might be. So I guess we're going to wake up and we're only having

coffee. Okay. Because nobody will eat my breakfast. It's their dreamy coffee.

Oh. I can't get past that.

I will wake up at 7.

And I will get your special coffee, and then we'll all have regular layman's

coffee. No, I want Jenna's coffee. I don't want regular coffee. And then

going to want it, too. I brought my own ginger tea, so we're good on coffee.

You did?

Yes. I'll have tea.

Everything literally goes out. We're going to be pitching a tent.

Am I being punked right now?

Girls, you're on your own. You have your ginger tea. You can figure out your non

-peasant coffee.

I'm good with that.

Cheers, guys.

Cheers.

People just think I'm taking iPhone photos at the corner I really do create

digital content for brands, but I also have to keep up that same energy by

producing organic content. So, yeah, I might take some iPhone photos with you.

I'm laughing all the way to the bank.

Is it turning you on, Jessal? A little bit. Do I turn you on? Oh, my God, girl.

I should have wet my head like this outside.

She's like a dominatrix. Jessal in some lingerie tonight.

And we're going to make you get in the mood.

I mean, there's no point getting me in the mood now.

So that way when you get home, you'll be so hype and ready to go.

Do you need us to set up like a weekend for you and take care of your kids?

Can't you just expect in the shower? But they haven't broken the seal yet. It's

been a while.

We're going to break the seal.

Were you screwing like crazy before you were trying to get pregnant?

Yeah, like what's normal? Like three, four times a week?

But it's three, four times a week, one night just one time, or one night like

eight times?

Wait, you just have sex one time, just one time, one night? Yeah, girl.

Why take my clothes off for that?

Wait, what?

Do you really have sex like three times every night, every time you have sex?

I never had sex just one time in one night. Never?

Never. Sex eight times in one night is probably possible if you just starfish

the whole time.

I'm different.

I mean,

I'll do it more than once, but it's so different with women in different

conversations. So we should probably take it. I want to hear about it. I'm so

curious. How did you know it wasn't guys that do it for you any

longer?

How did you know it wasn't guys that do it for you any longer? I had no idea.

I was in a very tricky situation. My very close friend was gay, and we were

having a conversation, and my relationship was falling apart with my

and I asked her, like, what happens with women? Like, I just was curious. I had

no idea, honestly, so the same way you probably don't. And by the end of the

conversation, after a lot of detail, I realized that, like, I was, I felt sort

of hot.

Like, I had never had that feeling before. Like, I just wanted to kiss her.

I was completely surprised. And did you?

No, we were sitting at dinner, but I wanted to. And it was like, something

of went off inside of me. I was like, something feels different here. And

you know.

And then I started to have, like, dreams about, it was, you know, it's just kind

of like. About your friend.

Yeah. Something happened when I turned 40.

I had this beautiful little boy.

I had this great job.

And I had this.

feeling inside that I wasn't happy. I remember thinking to myself, like, I

want to feel like this for another 40 years. I didn't even know women were

Like, when I was growing up, I had no idea it was a thing. I knew men were,

I didn't know women were. What do you mean?

It was not a thing. Really?

No. The only person that was even remotely gay who was not admitted was

Jean King.

With who?

With who?

Billie Jean King. I'm well aware that I'm older, but, like, how do you not

who Billie Jean King is?

That's an important one.

Come on.

It's just so crazy that people couldn't be themselves for so long.

I didn't even know that I wasn't myself.

Did you come out, or is this something that... Oh, no.

That was done for me by the New York Post.

Really? By the Post?

Post. Yeah.

I'd been at a restaurant, and I was sitting with this person, and we were

doing anything. We were just having dinner.

And I'm sure we were maybe googly -eyed, but we weren't, like, holding hands or

kissing. We were very, like...

low low key and i remember sitting at my office and i remember hearing my name's

on a dial 8001 on the other end of the phone was our head of pr and our ceo and

they were like were you at j crew at the time yeah and the post said we have

information that you are seeing a woman would you like to confirm or deny and my

i remember even talking about now i guess got hot because i was already In

process of getting divorced, but I had not told my mom, I had not told my

brother, I had not told my family, I had not told anyone at work.

I didn't really know what I was doing. It was like, I was three weeks into this

thing. I had no idea.

It was only three weeks in? Yeah, it was so early.

Anyway, so I heard the words come out of my mouth. I just said, confirm.

Wow. You did? Good for you.

While it was devastating and probably one of the hardest things I've ever

experienced, I am so grateful for how incredibly gracious everyone in the

was. Everyone was incredible.

Not my mom, but everybody else.

Are you dating now?

I am.

Who's the lucky lady?

She's sitting right here.

Because I've had so much press, like, I am very quiet about that, so I'm not

sharing that.

I want to know what's going on with her relationship. She knows my husband. Why

can't I know her girlfriend?

We're friends. That's what friends do. We know each other's spouses.

I'm hoping she'll let her guard down a little bit.

Are you happy? Yes.

That's the most important thing. You see that smile?

That's it.

Why do you have to keep their identity a secret?

My life has put me in the public eye for my job and other things I've done. And

that is my choice. And if someone does not want to be in that with me, then I

have to respect that.

How did you meet your husband?

Mutual friend.

We became, like, best friends. And we didn't even have a romantic relationship

at all. We were best friends for, like, two years. When did it switch?

So he was getting thrown out of his apartment. He was throwing, like, a ton

parties. And at the same time, I was moving out of my family's place. He was

like, hey, I'm looking. You're looking. Like, why don't we find a place

together? Like, we'd be roommates.

What? You hadn't kissed in a while. No.

Zero. Like, let's be roommates?

Yeah, we were roomies.

Wow. Yeah. Wait, how long did that last? Until my mom came into town.

And my mom was like, he's completely in love with you.

You never, ever look at him that way. I never looked at him like that. We were

dating, like, completely, like, separate people, different people at the same

time. I used to give Puppet relationship advice on how to date girls in New

York. He is just such a dork when it comes to women, and so I had to whip him

into shape.

Were you having a lot of sex before?

No, we were. We were married seven years before I got pregnant.

which is a long freaking time.

So I didn't want, it would stress me out when people would ask me all the time,

like, when are you having kids?

We were trying to conceive and nothing was happening.

I had something called unidentified fertility object.

So I ended up going through five cycles of IVF. It was...

You know, in Indian culture, if you can't have children, it's such a taboo.

so tough.

It becomes, like, gossip, and I didn't want to be the subject of, like, any

negativity. Like, you guys met my mom.

I could have spoken to her about anything, and it would have been fine,

know? But, like, in my head, I just wanted to keep it to myself.

She doesn't know you did, have you? No. I just didn't want to, like, worry them,

you know?

We are a very reserved culture, and everything circulates around family.

I didn't want to be seen as weak. I didn't want to be seen as unable.

And so I chose to continue this narrative that everything's fine.

Do you know what? Now that I think about it and I'm making the connection, I was

probably so scarred by the fact that, like, it was work. It was like, I'm

ovulating. Go, go, go, go, go.

Putting him on a schedule.

I was putting him on a schedule. And so maybe now... When I think about it,

like, that's probably what... Oh, my God, you discarded him. Maybe he feels

that. Maybe he feels like that, too.

Guys, we've had a breakthrough.

Thank you, therapist.

I'm going to go pee.

The bathroom here is annoying. You have to go downstairs.

Is everyone going?

Yeah, I have to go.

Oh, and it's close to the head of the ship.

You cannot go in there. My God, hi.

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

Oh, my God, can I try that?

Oh, my God, get the f*** out of here.

It's funny.

I'm amused. I'm embarrassed.

but I'm also very much so amused.

Sorry. Oh, my God. This is what I make with my rice and beans.

This is the best thing ever.

It's a coconut milk, but you want to make sure it's unsweetened. Thank God

does not drink.

Thank God.

If Uba had a sip of champagne, I would leave whatever event we were at.

Wait for me. I'm bringing this to Jess. No, you can't steal the coconut.

You can't steal the... Put it back. No, no.

No? You know how much meals here is very expensive?

If they didn't want people to take those stuff, they should not put it right on

the door to go to the bathroom.

So what? It's a can of coconut cream. It's very hard to find those coconut

cream. Oh, I hear them. I can hear the cackling. Of course you can. All right,

I'll leave you some circuit back for you.

Jessal. What?

When you see your husband next.

Oh, my God.

What is in there? Toilet paper? She's so sick.

What the f*** did you take?

It's like coconut milk from the kitchen.

You went in the kitchen?

Can you not put this, like, right by where I'm sitting so that they think

did that?

You have a British accent. You're not going to go to jelly. I really can't

believe you got to put that back.

Why? Because you took it in the kitchen. Do you know how much my side costs?

No, really. It's giving me anxiety.

We're in a nice restaurant. You have to put it back. I promise. I promise. We'll

put it back.

I'm sorry. Could you return this to the pantry?

Absolutely not. No, I just... They're never going to let us... back in here.

Coming up.

I feel like a Christmas tree. I'm a Christmas tree. Anyone that thinks that

is sexy is crazy.

She said she wants to go inside and put on sweatpants. No, girl. We have a plan.

We have a plan.

Run!

Run!

My shoes, my jacket.

Literally, my hair is up.

Your ponytail looks amazing. Thank you.

Oh, my God. I'm not a pony.

Jesus, Lord.

All right.

Guys, are we doing lingerie?

Erin? I don't think this is going to end badly.

Help me.

What do you want?

Good. This is a good workout. For who?

What's going on over there?

Oh, my God.

Bitch with a cray.

Oh, dear Lord.

Oh, my God.

Nothing. Oh, damn.

I like it. I like it a lot.

This is hot.

It's giving.

It's giving. It's giving rich mom.

What are we doing? Are you putting on more oil?

No, I'm putting lotion. Oh, that's your lingerie? Yeah. Are the babies okay?

I'm taking this back.

Look what I have. I have a grandma outfit.

That's beautiful, this outfit.

I guess they went there and looked on my Instagram. They said it's a grandma.

I feel offended. I am so offended.

It's like a grandma outfit she gave it to me.

Who is this lady?

Anne got two pieces and I got one piece. Did she see my body?

I don't feel like you're naked and I'm not. What party are we at?

Jenna,

I take it back. I love it.

I mean, the body doesn't quit.

Where is Jess? I take it back. I like it. You look gorgeous.

I can't believe I got a size large.

I'm changing.

Jess, come down here so I can teach you some tricks.

Anyone that thinks that this is sexy is like crazy.

How do you know?

I'm a Christmas tree. I'm a Christmas tree.

Oh, my God. And then, like, lotion exploded all over me. It was, like, very

symbolic. You look gorgeous.

The fit is interesting.

It kind of, like, juts out at the hip a little bit.

So it's a little triangular, maybe.

You are gorgeous. No, I hate it. I absolutely hate it. And plus, the size

large. You never really want to see that on lingerie. You kind of want to see an

XS or an S.

I think you look so good. This is not my vibe at all. Why? What is it? The

fabric? The color of the fabric.

It doesn't seem to me that she has any connection that what she's saying might

be really kind of rude and offensive.

I don't get it. Like, I'm completely dumbfounded, honestly.

I feel like I'm a granny in this. Do you want a satin? No, I want

a margarita. Okay.

She's going on and on and on about how ugly the garment is. It's not that bad.

She's being a huge bitch and she has no...

And that is the weirdest part.

I absolutely hate it.

I can see on Jenna's face she is horrified. But at the same time, Jenna

have enough balls to say, hey, can you guys stop? If I was in Jenna's shoes,

say, bitches, give back my... But this is, like, hideous. I would never wear

this, by the way.

I can't believe.

Next time on The Real Housewives of New York City.

Hi. Oh, my God.

Are you okay?

Welcome to Brynn's Booty Camp, upper middle class bitches.

Give me more, Jenna.

Give me more, Jenna.

Come on.

Oh, that's good. Do you want to do plank?

No, I want to do you.

Okay, two truths and a lie.

Oh, look at that.

Hey. I had sex at a Knicks game.

Oh, my God. Who hasn't dated a Knicks player?

Nothing can be Jenna's fault. It's probably my fault. Maybe I like her a

bit more.

It's just because I'm cute.

Or because you're Jenna Lyons. You don't have as much to offer as Jenna.

You couldn't stand the gift that she gave you. I hate it. It looked like a

Christmas tree.

It didn't feel great. Well, it wasn't nice.

Oh, my God.