All language subtitles for The.Real.Housewives.of.New.York.City.S13E18

He's a good boy. He looks exactly the
same. He hasn't changed a bit.

No, no, no.

Angela, stop eating the tampon.

Are you going to walk or do I have to
carry you, lazy Coco?

Don't we look alike? We look like twins,
right?

Somebody's getting laid tonight, and
it's not you.

Hey, sweetie. How are you, honey?

I'm studying for my real estate course.
I'm like 75 % through. And I bought some

books because I want to be real. Okay.

I'm filming right now. I'm filming right
now.

Very big one bedroom.

Where did you get the big cabinets? You
came with it? Yeah.

Very big.

Isn't it fabulous? I love the closet.

And wait until you say, oh, well, we'll
show you the bathroom later because

there's a lot of people hiding in here.

Forget it. It's so ordinary.

There's a lot of people hiding in there.

Those are the freeloaders. They're still
in my bathroom.

What is the program you were talking
about? I don't know. It's like, oh.

Go down the pole. I couldn't get it.

Oh, God.

Like in my nail or something. I only
have a runny nose.

This is why they think I'm real. Guys
are like, you're real. You eat real

I have gas. Everything.

All right. You're an intern. Pull out
your booger.

Yep.

Okay.

All right, Barry. We're speeding.

All right.

Let's start with... Okay. I'm not drunk.

I'll tell you what, I need a straw.

I'm sorry.

The glass is good. It's this straw. This
straw is ridiculous.

This straw is like a mini fellatio.

Lucky straw.

Yeah, seriously.

The most action I've had since November.

Go ahead.

Do you want me to take it easy? Oh,
everything's going to be fine. No.

No, just let me have my pity party
today. No, no, you're not having a pity

today. Here's why. You've got to go out
there and save other people.

We're going to let this town burn down?

No. We're going to stand up and we're
going to fight. We're going to go out

there and show people how it's done. Do
you have water?

Do you have water?

Oh, my God.

I really have a UCI coming on.

Wow.

Well, you kind of just killed that
little motivational buzz. Sorry, I'm

Let's just do some boxing today, but
just don't punch a shadow boxing. All

right, I have to be careful of my nose.

I feel like I need to stretch out first.

I need to just, like, jump around a
little and warm up. I need to do, like,

yoga. I need to, like, do a little,
like, jump around the ring.

I don't need to do that.

Would you guys mind if I left and I'll
be back later?

And honestly, like, I can't jump around
or I get panic attacks.

Just close the door and lock up behind
you.

Why? Are we annoying you already? No,
you're not annoying me. You're annoying

everybody that watches this show.

Did we all handle these tough times
perfectly?

Maybe not.

But we did manage to have fun.

Ladies and gentlemen, we're about to do
a game. The game is called Ramona vs.

Sonia.

So.

It's like Red Rover, Red Rover, where
Ramona's on one side of the room and

Sonia's on the other side.

I'll say a sentence, and you have to run
to that person. Whoever gets the most

points wins.

Ready?

Who is more likely to kiss a stranger?

Sonia gets four points.

Yep. Ramona's the one that will kiss
anyone.

Every time I go to a restaurant, she's
in the corner making out with some guy.

Ramona loves to play kissy -kissy.

Sonia's make -out sessions are epic.

Oh, my God.

Who is the best wing woman?

Luann! You liar!

All right. You got more dick with me
than anybody.

Who took out Luann numerous times and
she went home with my date? I mean...

right, next.

Who is the most likely to dance first?

I dance first. That was a close one. I
would say Ramona.

Turtle time.

Yeah.

Music. Music.

You got to move, girl.

It's moving me. It's touching me. I
really love it.

Who's the most likely to pick a fight?

Ramona.

You, I know that one.

Ramona doesn't pick fights. She just
says mean shit sometimes.

Maybe fights are just picking me.

Who hosts the best parties?

You.

Sonia Morgan is a great party thrower.
I'm a great party thrower. Ramona, she

likes to leave her own parties. That's
another story.

Are you kidding me? You're going to
leave your guests at home and go to a

No, you're not. Girl, I want to go out.

Oh, my God. This is like weird white
people.

It's seriously some weird eyes wide
shut.

People are going to start putting on
goat masks, and I'm going to end up

taken in a back room and be made to be
someone's bitch.

Really? Really? Really? Really? Really?

Disgusting. Wow.

Oh, wow.

Or her.

I

don't even know how

to do that cackle that Ramona does
because it's...

Eppin' crazy. It's just crazy.

Who's most likely to steal your date?

Luann!

Luann! Luann!

Luann! Luann!

I've seen Luann in action, baby. Don't
leave your man around Luann, child. He

ain't gonna be there when you get back.

The winner of the game is... 27, Ramona
Singer.

Uh -oh.

28...

Not coming up.

Do you have another hour of organizing?
I don't know.

I know. I feel like we're always
organizing stuff. You know what it is?

just like I love this apartment, but I
didn't expect you to be living here too.

And it's hardly enough room for me. I
mean, I've hardly taken up any space,

please. Well, you don't use the second
room at all other than it's like a

with makeup.

Okay. How about just not enough room for
me?

But you don't understand.

Okay, my daughter doesn't live at home
with me anymore. I don't have the

to see my child every day or every week.
And if you can't understand that, these

girls can't, then I'm sorry. I
understand where you're coming from. No,

don't. I do.

No, you don't, okay? You don't. You just
kicked your daughter out of your house,

for God's sake. I did not kick her out.
What are you talking about? I didn't

kick her out. Don't say, now, like, oh,
I can't see my daughter. You just told

your daughter to get herself her own
apartment. I didn't really mean it.

Anyway. Come on.

You can't play both sides. You made your
point.

Next subject.

Welcome back to another edition of What
Happens Next.

So the rules are simple. We're going to
show you never -before -seen footage,

and then you have to tell us what
happens next.

Round one.

Wow, you look like ready to play tennis.
Are you a good player?

Bitch, no.

I like the dress for it. Ramona hires a
couple of gentlemen to teach us tennis.

Hello. Hello. Hi. How you doing?

Come on in.

Mm -hmm. Right? Drum roll.

Oh.

Hi. Oh, hello. How are you? Good
morning. Hi.

I'm Michael.

Hi, Michael. I'm Luann. They're with me.

Hi, Michael. Ebony.

Christian. Nice to meet you. Michael and
Christian. Come on, guys.

Bye. She's on a mission, honey.

Bye. See you guys later.

No, those girls are competitive. They
never want to play with me because I

play as well as them.

So Ramona got me a lesson. I'm the last
person to complain about getting two hot

tennis instructors at once.

Who doesn't like two at the same damn
time?

You know what that means, right?

It's so dirty.

I like the effort.

You just put the racket down and start
playing with your hand?

Anything I can do.

I don't play at all. Are you sure?
Because you look like you play.

I haven't even hit a ball in literally,
you might not even been born yet. Oh,

really?

Sorry. All right, swing up into it.

How are the girls doing?

They're getting there.

I've definitely seen worse.

So that's a compliment, I guess. That
was a shady compliment.

I mean, where is Ramona?

My secret.

Get rid of my wrinkles.

No wrinkles. I have no wrinkles. So how
often do you play tennis? Not often, and

that's why the girls don't play with me.
Careful of the dog.

What happens next?

A. Sonia hits Luann with her racket.

B. Marley humps the tennis ball.

C. Lou asks for both guys' numbers.

Or D.

Sonia eats a muffin covered in ants.

God,

that feels good.

Yeah. Are you good?

Yes. I'm still absorbing. Okay. You go.

Oh, my God. I just ate all the ants on
my muffin.

Hey, I'm cutting out carbs and I'm
adding protein.

You don't really taste them.

Round two.

In Salem, Sonia informs the ladies that
she was visited by spirits.

So no spirits in your room? No, I slept
really well. I heard last night, hello.

You heard that in your room?

Yeah, did you hear that?

No, it's haunted. I heard, I heard,
hello.

And I woke up, it was like four o
'clock.

And I go, this is stupid.

What happens next?

A, Ramona says, that was me. You passed
out in my room.

B, Luann asked if the ghost was single.

C, Sonia says that the ghost told her to
stop taking pills.

Or D, Leah gets upset that no ghost
visited her.

So then I lie down. I go, go back to
sleep. It's only four. And you don't

singer. You're not going to wake up
early. You're going to sleep.

I look up at the chandelier, and it
starts going like that. And I was like,

what? Really? And a red dot in the
middle of it. I'm like, what?

And then my bag of pills started
rattling.

In the dream or in real life? No, in
real life last night. Oh, my God.

Not even moving.

One or two of the bottles fell, and then
you hear all the pills go.

And I go, stop.

You're talking to me, pills.

Right? So I was like, what is the
message?

Your problem isn't alcohol or your
weight or anything.

Are you saying that the pill, like the
water pill, is causing you to have...

Shut up about the drinking.

The pills are speaking to you. That does
not make sense. That's not confusing.

All I'm telling you is that spirit told
me last night I got to get off the pill.

Well, if you believe that story, I got a
bridge to sell you in Brooklyn.

Round three.

In Salem, Luann gets a message that it's
time to get her first tattoo.

Hi. Good morning, honey. How are you?

I feel good. I'm just, like, getting
ready and drinking coffee. Guess what

is. What?

Lotus Day.

No. I swear to God. Wait.

Oh, wait. You have to get the tattoo
today. I've got to get the tattoo today.

you want to go with me and get this?

Oh, yeah. I can't wait.

I wanted to get a tattoo last night, but
I couldn't figure out what it was.

Do you have some pictures of, like,
maybe some spiritual things? Like lotus.

I don't really know what I want. So I
passed, and I'm glad I did, because it

a sign from the heavens that I needed to
get the lotus tattoo.

Ready? Yes.

Hi.

Hello. How are you guys? Hi, we're back.
Welcome back. I'm in.

It's my very first time.

I'm so excited.

Thanks for letting us do your first
tattoo.

Honestly,

I think that I might have a tiny bit to
do with her getting the tattoo. So now

the women don't have only me to make fun
of for having tattoos. They can make

fun of Luann.

Remember the one I showed you, which is
the lotus with the dot, dot, dot? Yep.

That's the one I wanted. We have a few
different sizes just to see, like, which

size you would be comfortable with.
Okay, cool.

It's my first tattoo. This is Salem. So
why not go bold?

It's going to look so good on you.

It's really, like, perfect for you. It
is.

Yeah. You feel it, like. Yeah, I feel
it. Yeah, me too.

Yeah, absolutely. Me too. I've never
been so sure about anything.

Not even about my second marriage.

Well, honestly, I hope you're more sure
about this than you were about the

second marriage.

What happens next?

A, Luanne gets a small tattoo on her
wrist.

B, Luann chickens out when she sees the
needle.

C, Luann gets a tramp stamp.

Or D, Luann gets a face tattoo of her
own face.

All right, we're here. Sorry.

Sorry about that.

Perfect timing. We picked out some
things for you if you like. Thank you.

know, we can't wait to find out. What?
What'd you get? What'd you get? I had a

little change of heart.

Okay. You got a heart now?

She nuts. No way. You've got to be
kidding me.

She's off the rails these days.

They're looking at Luann as if she just
told them that she's pregnant.

It's my rebirth.

It's like, it's a big deal.

No, I can't. I can't believe you don't
like it. It's temporary.

You're lying.

If it was real, I'd have a bandage.
Busted, busted.

Okay, there, okay.

We have to go to T. Martin. Who wants to
get us out of our comfort zone?

First thing you got to do, you got to
spit that gum into that garbage can. Oh,

Lord. No, no, no. Not throw it. Spit it.
Like a real, come on, like a real

Brooklynite. I want to see Ramona do it.
Oh, my God.

Ramona. Come on. Next.

All right, but you have to.

What happens next?

A. Ramona says, this is stupid, and
leaves.

B. Ramona wants another chance and picks
up her gum off the floor.

C. Ebony lectures the ladies on the
history of spitting.

D. Leah misses and blames Ramona for
lying about donating blood plasma.

drinks with you either. You like that
guy?

Well, I mean, I liked our 20 -minute
conversation that ended after you told

I can't poop.

I'm sorry. He was so scared.

What should I do with these?

Central interns?

Oh, interns?

Yeah. We need bodies around here. Okay.
Who are willing to do...

Because you're going back to school.

Yeah.

Oh, this girl wants to assist, but she's
so beautiful, so blonde. I don't want

to be, like, prejudiced, but when I see
a beautiful blonde, let's get her in.

Her resume is awesome.

This guy looks to me gay, so I want to
see him because he'll help me style my

clothes. This one, I have no idea how
she found me, and she's only a 3 .0, but

love all the charity work she's done.

So, yeah, that's why they're the top
four.

Some people don't understand why I have
interns, but at my age, I have so much

wisdom and experience to share.

Do you want me to keep going?

He has to go as deep as possible before
shoving the wings down, because if you

don't, you get a half a cork like you
did last time.

And go slow.

Now, I have another cork. I feel like
I'm learning something else. If you

know these things, it's just very hard
to survive in the real world.

I don't like to do a lot of laundry
because my housekeeper comes and spends

day doing laundry. I think, you know
what, I'm just going to wear the dress

again. I'm going to use the same napkin.

But again, with COVID, you got to be
careful. Yeah, okay.

I think I did pick up dog food with one
of these.

Ooh.

So come join the Sonia Morgan Internship
Program.

Learn things like Real World Fashion
101.

It's like Mary Poppins up in here.

How does this work? Come on.

It's like one of those Hermes. Oh, my
God.

This is Hermes?

Not your kind of Hermes. My kind of
Hermes. The kind you get in a gift bag.

It's like a life preserver.

Here you go.

Here. How does it work?

This is not.

I'm sorry. You're not supposed to touch
people's boobs anymore. It's not PC.

Oh, wait. I didn't think of that.

And then what's this? Does it go over
your head or the other one? Oh, my.

Oh, God. We're not doing this right, I
don't think.

How's that? Is that good? Good. Chic.
Chic c 'est la vie. Chic. This is not

protecting me from... Oh!

It's when you buy clothes.

You put it over the hanger of the
clothes. Now you're lying.

Oh. I wanted to make you feel special.

Oh. All right. You'll just have to be
wet.

I have noticed you didn't poop.

When you don't poop, it shows.

I pooped already. Remember? I broke the
toilet. Yeah, you blew up the third

floor. It was a mess.

I walked in and you had the robe on the
ground and you were like, there's poop

water everywhere.

I wait for the poop to dissolve
overnight.

Yeah, I know because I can smell it.

You smelled it? Yeah.

Holy shit.

Holy shit. Well, it's out there for like
a day and a half.

You see his butt has poop on it?

Now watch this. Hot water.

That's a really good water pressure.

That's too much for his asshole.

Marley, wait, do we need to put soap on
him?

Okay, give me the squirt, give me the
squirt.

The crunchies are softening up. Rinse it
up.

Oh yeah, that feels good. Yeah, there's
a lot of stuff in this house. Oh man, if

someone licked my butt clean like this.

If you don't know how to remove a
dingleberry from your poodle's butt,

you're in big trouble.

I mean, you're really behind the ball.

and the poop he's gonna get a treat
marley yay he gets the good treats too

boy i tried them they were delicious you
ate one of his treats well yeah i

wanted to see if they tasted good they
look like granola with like raisins i

hungry the girls always say i smell like
mothball smell you have to have

mothball uh you know whatever those
things are I had a cat growing up. We

them. We came home. We were dead.

But if you have these moth balls, it
kills all the moths that eat your

May kill your cat, which is not a good
thing. I was very upset. I was

traumatized. I came home. My cat was
dead. He was dead.

Did you call the exterminator to tell
him we have moths? Because I saw moths

the little traps. Mm -hmm. And I also
saw holes in my sweaters. Oh. That means

the moths are here. I read on TV, if you
put your...

In the freezer, it kills the moths.
Larvae.

But I didn't do any of that. Who's going
to put it in the freezer? Not me.

So I buy mothballs, and then Luanne and
Ramona are like, oh my god, you smell so

bad.

You smell like a mothball. But at least
my sweaters are good.

When you buy something, you put the date
on it. So you see how we put the date?

Me and Emma just sniff everything before
we eat it.

Well, I just had an upper GI bacterial
problem. I think it's because I eat old

food and take old vitamins. Some of my
vitamins are from, like, 2006, and they

have mold on them, and I've been taking
them. And she's just popping them. She

made me throw all that stuff out. The
juice. The juice.

The ingredients were, like, may cause
illness.

And it was, like, two years old.

Her food will be from two weeks ago, and
she's, like, yummy. Tastes good. Ready

to eat. And I'm, like, I don't see mold.
I eat it.

If you see mold, you need it. I did eat
mold.

Yeah. You're like, you know, that's
mold. I'm like, yeah, but it doesn't

bad. If this sounds as if it's for you,
come join the Sonia Morgan Fashion

Internship. This internship will get you
one step closer to the next step.

Not coming up.

You want to laugh?

Yeah, I'll ask. I bought this extra
picture.

My aunt came to visit me at work. That
is not Halloween. That's me at work.

Oh, he worked at Hooters. We love
Hooters. You worked at Hooters, Ebony?

Remember we met the Hooter guy? He's the
owner of Hooters. Well, tell them I'm

their most successful story of life.

Oh, really?

You were? Who else is most successful?
Who the bitch you know? Yeah.

Friday night.

Woohoo! Party.

Um, alright, so... Ugh.

Yeah.

Ugh.

Oh my god.

Really?

I'm sorry, I know it's turning you on.
I'm going to stop.

Leah. Yeah?

Who is that? Is that a friend?

Yeah, that's my friend.

Is that good?

One, two, one, two.

Yeah, but don't talk into it. One, two.

Penis, vagina, anal sex.

Sorry. Normally, not into it.

If there's anything we all have in
common, it's that we're a lot.

And we can be a little overwhelming for
people that are in our orbit.

I love Ramona Singer, but don't you...

What do you think about my new friends?

They're interesting.

Interesting. Yeah.

I always dance with a guy right away.
You know my trick.

When I meet a guy, I dance right away. I
smell behind their ears. They don't

smell right to me. Forget that. They
have to smell right. You smell behind

ears. Yeah, and I also smell the penis.
She's like, oh, what?

Hold on. How do you smell the penis?

She's got a very good sense of smell.
How do you smell the penis?

Do you fall?

I'm like, what do you do? She's like,
you know, those dogs that hunt truffles.

Nat, can you just participate a little
bit more? I am. Thank you.

So, Nat, why are you not giving the
people full Natalie vibes?

I have nothing to say.

Oh, it looks like your face is saying a
lot. Yeah, my face is saying a lot.

If it doesn't smell right, don't insert.

Doesn't pass the sniff test?

No. We don't. I don't. But to each their
own, right? Yeah, sure.

I don't.

Nat, do you want to scoot down?

I feel bad for Natalie sometimes because
every time I open my mouth, she does

blush.

When we hang out together, this is not
what goes down.

We laugh, we drink, we stay in our
seats. We don't jump out of our chairs.

Shut up!

You know, listen, I get very passionate
because Ramona has manipulated me for

years. She is a master manipulator. She
knows how to push my button.

Yeah, girl.

Okay, sure.

I know.

Crazy, right?

And when I saw her post a picture with
Miss Ebony, at first I was like, I would

have liked to have posted a picture with
Ebony, my new friend.

I'm not surprised that these women are
your new friends.

Okay. That maybe feels a little like
shade, but okay.

I even asked you, like, how long are we
going to do this?

Yeah, so how long are we about to do
this? Okay, stop.

That was rude, by the way. Yeah, but I
was ready to go.

I was ready.

Yeah. Yeah.

That's her.

That's her, and that's why she's getting
club soda. True, but you know.

I'm trying to get her sober up a little
bit. Okay.

I'm hot.

Tonya, here's your Tito's.

I like Sonia. I think Sonia, she's fun.

But the energy is very overwhelming.

It's loud.

It's the dog is all over the table.

Whoa. On the table.

Angel's like, she's OK to be on the
table as long as she doesn't eat all the

food on the table. Carrie gets on the
table sometimes, too.

See, you know, I mean, I like dogs, but
Angel, come here. Not around my food.

You know, Natalie's a bit bougie, if you
haven't noticed. Oh, wait, look at this

one. He's licking the dip. Oh, no, no,
no, not the dip. The dip.

We need more dip.

Okay, I don't have any more honey. Oh,
well, Carrie was licking the top of it.

Okay, why are you telling me like I'm
your mother?

Carrie, she's cute, but not on my food.

Look at Carrie. I can't. Carrie, that's
for me. Oh, my God.

A bitch better stay away from my food.

No, she just doesn't like Carrie. That's
all it is. No, Carrie's cool.

Okay.

But... That's about as cool as you could
be. Okay, maybe I don't like Carrie.

Yeah, you don't. You don't like Carrie.
That's okay.

Kitchen was in.

Floors were in.

They were putting in the marble in the
bathrooms, which is like really nice

Carrara marble, which I love. What are
you doing?

I'm licking on you.

She's not going to lick on you. Do not
lick on me.

Why is she showing me, Mommy?

Isn't she so cute?

She looks like you, actually.

You're a liar.

She does not look like you.

Her big old eyes. This chocolate and
black? Let's see.

Let me look.

I think y 'all look like cousins.

Girl.

I mean, she was licking and stuff. I
mean, she does lick, but she's not going

lick you. Okay. Y 'all look just alike.

Stop.

Especially with you in this all black.

Because I'm brown.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

She's a pretty girl.

Mm -hmm.

Not coming up.

Awesome. Yeah, that's dope, Ruth. Yeah?

Ooh!

Wow, you really look like a witch.

Oh, I love that. Are we ready?

Okay.

Here, like this for me? Okay. You kind
of lean up against it. Can I have a seat

right here like this for me? Can I ask
you to put your camera away?

Why? Because we're going to take lots of
pictures of you. I won't get them. Just

give me a moment, Ramona. I don't trust
anybody.

Well, you can take your mask off. I'm
trying to run a photo studio.

I understand.

Come on, bossy pants. Get in here.

I'm honestly doing this for pure
entertainment purposes for myself

just want to see Ramona in a witch
outfit.

Awesome. Okay, everyone look over here.
Give me a big smile.

Witch. And you're going to cackle like
evil witches.

I may have to convert to paganism, not
Judaism.

Visit Salem.

A remarkable place where you can live by
your own rules.

Who's setting the table with place
cards?

Anyone can sit wherever you want.

this crap, okay? This is like weird.

Oh, shit.

Who's sitting there? But I'm going to
stay here because I like this. Oh, shit.

Was her place there?

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

What happened?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm
sorry. I'm sorry.

Who started this? Okay, there's water in
the flowers. Leah likes to make a fire.

Look at this. I'm sorry. What happened
there? I don't know.

You burned my name.

I'm sorry.

Leah.

You burned your name. I know.

In Salem, we don't march to the beat of
a different drummer. We dance to it.

What happened to our really bad Bravo
music? Yeah, put that back on, please.

want our bad Bravo music.

You know,

this is actually a tweet.

This is what tweaking is. Sonia's not
twerking.

Sonia's tweaking.

Got it. Well, that's a good twerk. Wait,
wait. No, you have to like, no, you

have to move your legs.

I would love to say that Sonia's
twerking was the wildest dancing we saw,

Are you in the market for a place to
have a wicked, stupid argument?

Choose fail.

One more round before you change your
mind.

That's one.

So apparently these guys are like the
best tattoo shop in New England.

They're the best, ladies and gentlemen.
They're the best.

Wait, my pose is over there.

You got your pose? I got my pose.

So I need to know, pose, is this like...
Can you get Fosé anywhere? Okay, so I'm

going to give you a lowdown. So I love
Fosé all day, right?

I'm like, you know what? I'm going to
make my own. And, you know, I want it to

be called Fosé. How do you spell it? F
-O -S -E?

F -O -S -E? No, F -O -S -E.

No, F -O -S -E.

Fosé, like it's a play on Fosé, like a
faux pas. Like a faux pas. But shouldn't

it be F -A -U -X?

F -A -U -X, yes.

It's F -E -U -X.

Faux is F -A -U -X. Faux is F -A -U -X.

Okay. No, I'm thinking about you.

Let's Google it. No, Ebony, you are so
wrong. It's F -A -U -X. I am a faux pas.

No, Ebony, I don't want to embarrass
you.

Ramona's got it.

Faux, F -A -U -X. Not genuine, fake, or
false. F -A -U -X.

Every minute you talk to Ebony, she's
trying to be right.

Because I'm going to tell you how it is.

I'm going to let you know how to spell.

Girl, enough.

No, Ebony, you are so wrong if you're
saying how you spell faux.

I'm not.

Hold on, she's a lawyer. She's getting
into it. Go, girl.

Ebony's wrong.

I'm about to embarrass her. Wow.

Y 'all, I know it's in Louisiana.

Okay. That spelling.

Okay. E -A -U -X is the long O sound.

So then how do we explain faux pas, you
know? No, that's also correct.

Right. They're both correct.

Okay, you're not wrong.

You're not wrong.

Okay,

we can go now.

I'm actually dying that this
conversation is happening over the

I'm not even spelling it either way, so
I don't know what you guys are arguing

about, but this is not it.

Come to Salem, kid, like you got
anything better to do.

How's the real estate stuff going?

It's a lot more work than I thought it
would be. It's a lot. I don't

Real estate agents are like a dime a
dozen out in the Hamptons. Not anymore.

lot of them are not that bright. I
understand.

It can't be that difficult.

Well, you know what?

She's a perfectionist. She doesn't want
to just pass.

She wants 100.

I know. I know how you are, girl,
because we're the same way.

Cheers, girl. I think you're going to
have your own brokerage firm.

Ooh, I like that you think big for me. I
love that. I do.

Let's put it out there. And I think
you're going to be a judge. I think so,

Sonya Morgan.

Oh, my God. I could totally do you as a
judge. Really?

Are you kidding? I think I'd be a good
judge, to be honest with you. I cannot

tell if I would rather be the next Judge
Judy or the next Thurgood Marshall.

I'd be Thurgood. You think like a...

I've actually thought about that. I see
Judge Judy.

I'm like, Judge Judy's a good gig.

That's a good gig.

What? I mean, you have such an impact on
the world and America. Judge Judy has

an impact on the world, too. That's
true. That's true. Judge Judy has an

on the world? Judge Judy is a boss
bitch. I'm here for it all the way. And

really is grossly underestimated. But,
Ebony, you don't think Thurgood Marshall

impacts the world?

No, of course. No, of course. You know I
do. Oh, okay. You went to Harlem

dinner. Okay. Right. I know.

My sister, Maya Angelou, behind you.
Exactly right. Oh, there's shrimp.

the shrimp? Where's the shrimp?

Not coming up.

Oh my God. Look at this. Hi.

Oh, hello.

Hi there.

That's what a job.

That's a job. Wow. I give them so much
praise. I can tell you.

It's fine. I'll hear they come again.

Wait.

Last time they just waved.

Take this off.

Come here.

Yes, you have to take this off.

Sir.

I mean, I don't feel like I want to be
imprisoned in this apartment.

Women is very much like being in a
sitcom.

I never know what they're going to say.
I never know what they're going to do.

But that's part of the fun.

She held my hand like we did in the
Berkshires. And she was like, I love

Sonia. And I'll always protect you and
your daughter. And I love you so much.

And I was like, good night, Ramona.

The poodle was creeping in between us,
too. Right. I feel like if a guy doesn't

eat your ass, he's not a real man.

I'm Ebony. You might be wondering how I
got myself into this predicament.

Okay, so where were we? I feel like if a
guy doesn't eat your ass, he's not a

real man.

You just thought you'd put that out
randomly?

No, I was just thinking about it.

But do you get your butt waxed then?

I hope so. Because nobody likes hair in
their mouth.

Because I got a chubby, hairy...

It does. I feel like the back door
doesn't hurt at all. That's the part

doesn't hurt.

Oh, you're saying having sex in the back
door doesn't hurt? No, I didn't say

that. I'm thinking your booty wet
doesn't hurt.

Oh, I wouldn't know. Oh, you never got
wet? I don't do that Brazilian wet.

But I did. No, Sonia's booty looks like
that.

I got a poopy booty. That's Sonia's
booty over there.

They can go down there and talk about
their hiney.

asses and JJ's and it's just not me. And
I'm never going to be that girl.

I'm not going to be that girl. I'm
Audrey Hepburn. Did Audrey Hepburn ever

this? No.

Alright, what's the menu? My mother used
to always forget something.

So did I. But okay.

Salad, jar, string beans, salmon and
couscous. Perfect.

Okay.

Where did I put my drink?

Okay. I'm losing it.

I guess I'm a little, am I a little
nervous?

Maybe. All right, here's to me.

Are you cheersing yourself?

Yeah, here's to me. I got, I realize I
haven't seen your dad. We haven't seen

him since what, June?

I know, since, because he usually comes
in once a month when we always have

dinner. I'm nervous having Mario over
for dinner.

Really, Ramona? Really?

Do I do this too?

Yeah. Do I do the string beans? I'm
very, all of it, I light it up?

Yeah. Oh, you think that's your dad?

Yeah,

there's your mom.

A slave in the kitchen.

Hi. How are you? I'm good. Good to see
you.

It's been a while.

Yep. We just realized we spent three
months with you, and we haven't seen you

three months. That's correct.

I have to say, I do miss your cooking
down in Florida.

Well, you just have to come to New York
more often. No, you come back down. Is

that an offer?

You mean an invite?

Yeah.

Really,

Mario? Really?

I kind of remember these plates.

Avery, oh, my God.

Holy. Oh, my God. Avery, Avery. Holy.

What happened? What?

You told me to put everything on fire.
No, no, not the back. This thing.

She put that on. Oh, my God.

What? What's in there?

Frick me out.

Take a deep breath. It's no big deal. At
least it wasn't the salmon.

Avery, just so you know, baby, the back
part was the string beans that go on

after the water boils.

I literally asked you, should I light
everything on fire?

And you said, yes.

We can replay the tape. Do I do this,
too?

Yeah. Do I do the string beans? I'm
very... Yeah. All of it? I light it up?

Yeah. Okay, Avery, use your head, okay?

So I think I lost my job as sous chef.

Avery, really?

Why don't you get the salad?

Because we might have ruined the string
beans because she put it on an empty

thing.

She put it on an empty thing?

I don't know. I asked Mom if I should...
Light everything up on the stove.

And I didn't really look at it. I just
went, I just turned all the knobs.

Like mother, like daughter.

Hey, come on. Bon appetit. All right, so
we did it. Group effort.

Here's to the trifecta.

Three musketeers.

We're back in a different way.

Streaming's up perfect.