All language subtitles for The.Real.Housewives.of.New.York.City.S13E16

Previously on The Real Housewives of New
York City.

So wait, one of these three men is my
dad? I am almost certain of it.

Holy... I know.

I have a dad.

Shabbat Shalom.

Shabbat Shalom.

That was beautiful.

When I went to college, the Jewish
people hated me. We're not talking about

that. I'm just saying.

I know, but it's not the first time she
went nuts on you. I think she's just

talking about herself. I think she's
projecting.

I don't like the way you act, but I like
you, Ramona.

I want to be mad at you, but I can't.
Thank you for the black Sabbath. Thank

for coming and looking pretty.

Of all my vices, being glamorous is one
I'll never give up.

I'm sex positive and BS negative.

I may say the wrong thing.

But my intentions are always right.

I've had to work twice as hard, perhaps
as much, but now I'm coming for

everything.

Just like New York City, Sonia Morgan
never goes out of style.

Mine's called Tiramisu.

This is a Tiramisu right here. We love
Tiramisu.

Oh.

A 20 -minute one -on -one with me and
Tamika.

Then we have Candace and Curtis joining.

Okay, they look close.

Baby, we're ready. We're ready for
tonight.

Thank you for all your help.

What happened to the broom?

I don't know. I think Rachel's looking
for it.

Oh, gosh.

Let's see if the fish are good.

Okay, well that one doesn't look too
bad. I don't think they're gonna die.

The fish are fine. You know what I was
worried about is this green... You know?

Ow!

Right up my hooch!

How are you, honey? Happy New Year. We
haven't seen you.

Oh, you're so cute.

Isn't she so cute? I put her in a cute
little outfit.

Hi. Here, sit down.

You look great, Mom.

I do. You look hot.

My girl. That's my girl. You got a hot
girl.

50 years.

Imagine that.

God bless her. Seriously.

Oh, that's Danny.

Oh, good.

Hi.

Good to see you. Good to see you.

Angel looks great. All right, I'm going
to get our kosher food ready.

I would love some. It is important for
me to see my parents, even if my mother

drives me crazy sometimes, especially
after my grandmother passing, because I

know my grandmother wants me and my mom
to get along. And I know she's watching

me. These ribs.

Ribosco. Oh, my God, they're so good.

First New Year's meal together, I guess.
I know. I was thinking, like, maybe I

would have done a proper Shabbat, but
I... It's a nice tradition.

It is. It's a great tradition. You turn
off your phone.

I mean, I don't... That's what I don't
do.

I don't think she's going to do that.

I can turn my phone off for 24 hours if
I had someone to entertain me. Entertain

you. It's very hard to do this alone,
this conversion.

I don't have anyone to do it. It's not
like I'm converting for someone and

they're supporting me, which is just me.

A lot of people are naysayers.

You know what I mean?

Some people say you can't convert, that
you're either born Jewish.

No. No. I read that. I think Bunny's
supportive of the conversion, but, like,

she doesn't fully believe it yet.

And I think the more she sees my
dedication, I think she's going to

Well, I hope I have everyone's support
here.

Of course.

You got my support.

Look, Jesus was a Jew.

Exactly. Clearly it was good enough for
him.

Well, it wasn't good enough for him.

He thought it was something new. I
called Jesus my Jewish homeboy.

They're so intertwined that, like...
They are so intertwined.

That's what the book deals with. Yeah.
Well, yeah.

Did you definitely get it? Yeah.

I signed a deal with HarperCollins to
write a book. Wow.

Yep. Is it going to be, like, an
autobiography or is it going to be,

memoirs? It's going to be, like, part
memoir, part, like, prescriptive.

I don't want it to just be like, chapter
one, I was born... I was born in 1982.

I am writing an anti -self -help, self
-help book.

Basically, I don't think that I really
should be giving advice to anyone.

But if you want to hear some things from
me, then you can also read the book.

Honestly, when I think about it, in high
school, if I hadn't done... You would

have done very well. Very mixed up.

With clubs.

I could have been a star athlete. I
could have gone to probably an Ivy

college. Well, that's what happens when
you get involved with drugs. I know.

Mom.

You really didn't have to go there. But
I mean, that's just honest things. That

shows you how it robs somebody of their
life.

Mmm. Isn't that good? Yum.

Wow. I mean, let's not act like I had my
life robbed for me. That's a little...

You did.

All right. Let's see.

Well, what's the matter? That's the
truth.

Certain years, not your whole life. I'm
sorry, but I got to experience the rave

scene of the 90s, and I just wouldn't
trade that for anything. I don't care.

Harvard, bye. I don't care. Those were
years that would have been very

by us that we lost.

Au contraire, Mother Dearest. I didn't
lose years of my life. I was at the

limelight in the tunnel.

How many people can say that?

Not that many.

What about this?

What? To this day, you still... Don't
say you're pretty every day. I'm

to every day look at her and say, you're
so pretty.

I don't need compliments all the time.

But I don't want criticisms all the
time. And everything I do, you have a

criticism for.

I'm not doing this right. I'm not doing
that right.

That's ridiculous.

You said I'm addicted to plastic
surgery, which I find very rude. You

Three surgeries in six months are not
great.

Do another one, and I'm going to go into
addiction. Now I'm calling it

dependency. Go one more step, and I'll
call it addiction. Don't have any more.

No, you look great as you are now. I'm
done. You don't have much money. I'm not

doing it anymore.

That's enough. No, and you look great as
you are. Do I wish she would be less

critical? Absolutely.

Because I do think it has an effect on
me and who I am. Maybe I can blame her

for getting addicted to plastic surgery.

It sounds like this year you got a lot
going on. I do. So we'll be behind you

100%. Thank you.

Promise?

Based on what you do.

Right. I'm like, wait, you're going to
be behind me 100 %? We'll take it a day

at a time. Give me six drinks.

Coming up.

Oh, my God, I speak so much about Luann,
and I love her so much. I always say

shit about him. I don't know what to
tell you guys. I can hear you.

How do I have to know about property tax
rates?

Tax levy equals expenses minus revenue.

Correct. Tax levy, $2 ,500. I got
another correct.

Good thing math was my best subject.

Ebony gave me some great advice.

She said, you know what, Ramona? You go
your own pace. Don't put any limit on

where you're going to finish this real
estate course.

You know what? That really helped me
because now I'm actually progressing

because I'm not putting that pressure on
myself. Thank you, Ebony.

I mean, seriously?

Hello. Sonia Rita, how are you, honey?

Hi. You look so pretty. I like your top,
all that glitter.

I have some bad news.

We did a test last night for COVID, and
we tested positive today, both me and my

assistant that lives here. How do you
feel?

You look good.

Yesterday, we both felt crappy. I had...

body aches, and I thought it was just
allergies. Last night, I felt like my

ached, and I felt really tired. I go, I
don't know, maybe I got COVID again or

something. So I actually went to bed at
10 o 'clock.

But then my test came back today. I'm
fine. I really thought there's a strong

chance that I had it too.

Wow, you're making me feel better. That
was the idea.

I was trying to make you feel better.
I'm glad I just did that.

Ramona going to bed at 10 and feeling
better really doesn't help me with the

fact that I do have COVID. But okay,
Ramona, sure you will.

All right. Well, I'll check in with you
tomorrow.

You're going to be fine. And just relax.

Well, I feel better having spoke to you.
Thank you, Ramona. I love you so much.

I love you so much. Bye. Bye, baby.

Bye.

Hey, baby.

Would you like a little treat?

I'll give you a treat.

You want something different?

Like this.

Oh, gosh.

So Linda was exactly right. My dad was,
in fact, one of the three brothers that

she said he would be. And then Linda
reached out to him, and he was willing

do a DNA test.

And he is my father. It's just amazing.

Okay. So I found out that his name is
Jude.

And it's just incredible for the first
time in my life to know my father's

So I'm reaching out and I'm making the
scariest and also most exciting phone

call of my life.

Hi. Hi. I'm trying to reach Jude. Jude,
my name is Ebony K. Williams.

I'm really looking forward to speaking
with you.

If you can give me a shout back whenever
you get a moment.

Thank you.

I feel very relieved that he didn't pick
up the phone, actually, but very

hopeful, very hopeful that he calls me
back, very hopeful that he hears the

pureness of my intention in my
voicemail. So very excited for what's to

Where's the other suitcase?

Hi, the... Where? Oh, over there? Yeah,
I'm sorry.

I've lost my mind.

Emma, since COVID, I can't think.

I know, it was four weeks ago. Stop
saying you can't blame it on COVID. I

have died.

Can I tell you, Ramona, I had such an
emotional moment with her.

Because when I told her I have a 103
fever, Ramona called and she goes...

Oh, my God, I'm sending an ambulance.

I'm coming over now.

She was ringing the doorbell. I didn't
answer.

She's like, this is not normal. If you
are sick for a week, okay, great.

After a week, you're having a fever and
you can't breathe, not good. She does

that for me.

At first, when I had COVID, I thought,
I'm fine.

Not true. The next day, I was so sick.
But it was so nice to receive calls from

the girls. And Ramona sent me gorgeous,
gorgeous flowers.

bright spot in my day. Miss Singer sent
me these.

Singer knows I love lilies. I'm such a
sucker for Singer. And then when the

doctor cleared me, Leah and Ebony came
over, which was so nice.

So, this is what you take every day,
Sone. The vitamin C. Okay.

I got you two small balls of the vitamin
D. This is, like, kind of hard to get.

Okay. And the zinc.

Oh, my God. This is what they told me I
need.

There you go. It feels so good to know
no matter what I've been through with

girls, when the chips are down, the
girls are there.

I love that. Yeah, that's true.

Can you get the black shiny thing that
goes with that? Where is that?

I think there, that one.

Okay. I want this for Ramona. This is
something I really want for Ramona.

Ramona insisted as soon as I feel
better, I have to come to the Hamptons.

can't wait to spend time with you.

We're all going to get out there Friday
night, the core group.

We're all going to invite for Sean to
come on Saturday.

And I'm going to pamper you, girl.

I know she wants to keep an eye on me.
She misses me. We haven't seen each

in over a month.

Oh, no.

I'm too fat for this? It's horrible.

Okay. I know you hate when I fashion
myself.

I'm not too fat. I'm beautiful. I have a
beautiful figure.

And you're right. I shouldn't fashion
myself.

Thank you. It's just not the season for
a skirt.

That's what we're going to say.

Okay.

Jeans. My turtleneck.

That coat.

I've been away.

Sonny's been sick.

Everybody's been in different places the
last three weeks. So, you know, I

understand why Ramona wants to get us
all together.

It's Valentine's weekend coming up. Oh,
my God. None of us have boyfriends. I'll

play like a Galentine Valentine's party.
I'll make it really funky and fun.

It's the winter in the Hamptons. There's
not a lot going on. So it's kind of

nice to huddle down with your
girlfriends, I got to say.

And that's for me and Ramona. And Ramona
has loungewear for me, too.

Sonia Rita.

Sonia. Oh, my God, I miss you.

I love you, though. I am so exhausted.

You look great. I got to tell you, I
don't think you realized how sick I was.

I checked in with you a couple times,
but I didn't hear back from you. So I

imagine, you know. I was dying.

I will tell you, my assistant was on a,
you know, the thing Harry Dubin has to

do when we're having sex.

What, inhaler? An inhaler.

I can't wait to spend time with you. I
miss you. It's been so long.

You've been the little quarantine baby.

I guess I'm going to say Ramona's in her
room.

We both have antibodies.

Oh, so you might as well share your
antibodies in the same bed.

We'll have one big orgy. It'll be
fabulous. Well, if you make out with me,

be fine.

All right, well, listen.

Save me some good stuff for the weekend,
okay? I love you.

Bye.

Oh, my God. I speak so much about Lou
Ann, and I love her so much. I do love

Ramona, too, but I always say shit about
him. I don't know what to tell you

guys. I love him. I just can't stop
talking shit.

Why is this here? I can hear you.

I love you, Lou. I don't know why. I
heard you talking shit about me.

You better watch this.

No, I said I love you so much. I don't
know why I always talk shit about you.

Not red -handed.

Sonia says she doesn't drink at home. I
don't know about that.

She's so nuts.

Coming up.

It doesn't even look like a thing Ramona
wigs. No, it looks good because it's

ridiculous. Because it's ridiculous.

I'm really excited.

Me too.

Oh, here she comes. Okay.

You know, with all the taxes I pegged,
they can't shovel, they can't plow in

York City.

You go to New Jersey, they plow every
five seconds.

What is all this?

Hot mess. I'm sorry. Hi, Emma.

Hi. Apologies, apologies.

It's okay. We're only going for two
nights. I don't know what's wrong with

Emma, are you in charge of getting her
ready and she's late? So I should be mad

at you, not Sonia? Yeah. Yeah.

Hey,

we try.

I think that Leah should absolutely
blame the intern. Let's get real.

Interns are still learning the ropes.

I didn't bring any food.

What do you want? There's chia pudding.
Anything.

Oh, the chia, yeah. I'll take the chia.

Can we talk about the rooms for a
minute? Oh, yeah. Okay, let's talk about

I don't want to sleep downstairs again
because I have bad memories from there.

But I also understand if you don't want
to sleep down there. I'll sleep down

there, babe. I will.

The last trip to the Hamptons, I was in
one of the worst emotional states I've

been in. And that room really just
reminds me of my grandmother dying.

I don't think it's a big ask to switch
rooms.

If she goes down, where's her tongue
going?

To the lower level. Lower level because
she's not sharing it. Okay.

Got it.

Well, I'll check in with Ramona and make
sure her plan is to put Vershawn at the

lower level. Well, we have to tell her.
Yeah, okay.

I feel totally fine that Ramona has
chosen to invite Vershawn. Clearly, it

a beat for Miss Vershawn to kind of find
her way with the women, which is not

easy. So I think maybe some more time
with the ladies will be a good thing.

Oh, wait, this is the other thing.

Luann? She's going to bitch if she
doesn't get that same room again.

matter. Yeah.

You want to try to move diva Luann?

I'm not moving that bitch. She's fine.

Oh, who's calling up? Oh, Lordy.

I'm like a nervous Nelly. It's like I'm
entertaining a boyfriend or something.

It's just a girl.

Like, relax, Ramona.

I'll get this one.

Hello. Hey, honey. Hi. How are you?

I'm good.

Good. How are you? Good.

Well, I am very, you know. Well, you do
you and I do me. Yeah, I am very want to

play in the snow vibe.

I got my snow boots on. They're snow
bunnies. It's all good.

You can just leave them right there.
Thank you so much.

So I'm going to put my stuff in the
room. Let me help you. I'll help you

some stuff.

Okay, wait. You shouldn't be wearing
your shoes.

It's beige carpet. Well, these are
clean.

How do you wear outside with them,
silly? In the snow, though.

No, not in the dirt.

Fine. Do you want me to take them off?

No, it's fine.

No, they're clean.

So show me all the beautiful
decorations.

Wow.

Looks great.

We worked relentlessly.

Are these new sofas?

No, but they look different, right?

They look totally different.

Why do they look so different?

Because it's the red, I guess.

Wow. No, but you pulled it closer
together.

Now we can eat very nicely here. I love
it. Very casual. Look at her silver. How

gorgeous. Her napkins. Wow, look at
that.

Why go out? It should be very
interesting.

Interesting. What do you mean?

I've never had a Galentine's Day.

Yeah. I can whip up anything in short
notice.

So, it's fine. I'm thrilled to have them
here and I'm ready for them.

Are we doing yoga tomorrow or no?
Whatever the girls want. I mean, I don't

to push Sonya.

She's driving.

I'd rather have her chill out. Sonia's
fine.

All right.

Sonia's totally fine. She's so fine that
she was totally wasted yesterday when I

spoke to her on the phone. Are you
serious? I'm serious. And she thought

hung up.

And she was like, oh, I talk so bad
about Lou.

You know, I shouldn't talk bad about
Lou.

I mean, I was like, what?

What? What?

And do you know that I think I rented
her townhouse for like four months?

My friends from Abu Dhabi are renting
her townhouse.

I've gotten closer to helping her rent
that place than anybody else.

And I'm her tried and true friend.

And then I hear her talking smack about
me. I'm like, that bitch. She was drunk.

Hello, look what she did to me. I'm a
good friend to her. Like, I called her

when she was sick. She never got back to
me.

You know, it's this double -handed
relationship.

No, it's called displaced anger.

I don't know what it is. I think she's
angry in her life. I don't know. You and

I have moved on from our divorce. Our
lives are better than ever. We've saved

money. We've accumulated wealth.

She's lost money.

She's lost.

We're not.

So when she gets drunk, she resents that
you and I. I understand that, but you

can only take so much. Do you know what
I mean? I don't know. I'm forgiving.

I'm fed up. I have so much patience with
Sonia. I have been a really good friend

to her, and I feel like I'm not getting
anything back from her. I love Sonia so

much, but I'm not going to be abused by
Sonia.

She's in trouble. Okay?

I know she's got a problem, but she
doesn't have to take her problems out on

Coming up.

You three have definitely married
extremely wealthy.

Try wealthy. You might like it.

Here we are.

Back again.

And I'm happy about it, man. I'm so
happy. I just am happy I get to, like,

here. You're going to get to be in a
much more positive place. Exactly. I

Yeah. I just want to, like, enjoy the
women and have fun. I feel like I didn't

get to do that last time, and pretty
much nobody got to do that last time,

maybe partly because of me.

I'm turning this whole trip into
sleeping bags. That's terrible.

Do not talk about me. It's none of your
business. Why do you have to be in

everyone's business like a Karen?

So I'm looking forward to getting to
make things up this time around.

Here we go. Get me the hell out of this.

You go ahead. Thank you.

I'm going to jump out here.

I've never seen salad dressing in a
champagne flute.

It's the lemon herb dressing.

So you do it.

Is there truffles in there? Yeah, there
might be a little truffles in there.

We're here!

We're here!

We're here!

No,

I already talked to him about it. What?

Hi!

You look like a Barbie doll.

My Barbie!

You're a Barbie doll.

I'm so excited you're here.

Oh my God, I know.

A whole weekend together.

I think you got more beautiful.

Oh God, stop. Stop, stop.

Look at our little baby.

Oh, look at how cute our little baby is.
Leah and I always have ups and downs,

and right now I'm on up with her, so I'm
embracing it and her.

Another kombucha.

That's who I am. Sonia, when they get
this bus back, it's not going to have

anything in it. No. I'm taking
everything.

Oh, good.

Charity starts at home.

I'd love you to say that. It's true,
though.

I've come such a long way with you
ladies since I was last here.

I'm so glad. We got so close so fast. I
know. I feel like you guys are like my

best friends now. It's crazy.

We love you.

I think there's been a lot of kind of
full circle growth with me and the women

and me and Ramona in particular.

So it's kind of nice to return to like
the scene of the crime, if you will,

because I think we'll do good by it this
time as a group. And I'm excited.

What is this? Oh, I know what that is.

Luann had a great idea to do an identity
swap dinner.

We have to dress like someone else in
the group, and I got assigned Ramona. I

bought an IV stamp, and I'm going to
write COVID blood plasma on the bag.

Oh, my God.

I am getting excited about this.

All right, I'm just going to quickly
just bring some stuff. Oh, my God.

Only you would come with six -inch
heels.

Okay,

hold on.

Oh, Jesus. Look at this. For two days.

Hi.

Thank you. Oh, my God. Wait. I know. For
two days?

This is all... I have one bet. Whose is
this? That's mine. For two nights?

I went all out on my identity swap.

We got to fill Giovanni because we got
to play Lou for Abinity Swap. You like

this on mommy, sweetie?

All right, I'll see you next time. Thank
you. You're very welcome. Say hi to

Oscar. Sonia, do you think this lovely
gentleman can take your bags upstairs?

Wait, can we, can we, excuse me, sir?

Oh, no, he can't, he can't. Oh, never
mind.

He's older than me. Yeah, he can't do
it.

Ramona does a 20 -minute plank. She
can't bring the bags upstairs. I can

you that's going to happen a lot faster
than this guy who just drove me here.

All right, I'm here. All right, what can
I do? What can I help you with? Well,

I'm taking the lighter bag first.

All right.

Okay, I'm going up. Yeah, go to the
right. You can put your things in that

closet you did last time. Just go for
it. Yeah, okay.

There's empty hangers, whatever you
want.

I did have COVID, you know.

Okay. Wait, how do we do this?

Oh, my God.

First you talked smack about me, and now
I'm carrying your bag up the stairs? I

mean, am I a glutton for punishment or
what?

Yeah.

I don't know whether I'm a sucker for
Sonia or just the world's best friend.

Wait, just don't nick my floor. Are you
kidding me? What about my ankles?

Oh, my gosh.

That was a little too much.

Are you all right? Sonia, you have like
a dead body or two in here?

Oh,

Lord. Thank God now you realize. Oh, my
God.

Wow. Oh, my God. Wait, I don't want her
to see my wig.

Did you like it? It doesn't even look
like a... Oh, Ramona, wait. Well, it

sounds weird. But it's, like, ridiculous
looking, and that's why I wanted to

wear it. No, it looks good, because it's
ridiculous.

Because it's ridiculous.

Yeah. Oh, it's good. It's actually
really good, Leah.

Sonia, let's eat.

You actually matched the room. It's
uncanny.

You matched the room.

Ramona, I just have to say something
right away. I mean, I'm going to be so

emotional. It's just like... I'm glad
you're here. Don't cry. I'm glad you're

here. Oh, my God.

I'm glad you're here.

You know, I just feel so guilty
because...

I was holding some shit in, okay? Not
just about you, like a lot of stuff that

went through that you know better than
anyone.

I know, I know. You've been through a
lot of shit. I vented on you.

Please have some boundaries and do
something for others and stop social

for yourself. For what? Another yacht?

Another plane?

Another dress?

Another booty?

Okay, Sonia, that's enough.

COVID for me just really made me...

Look inward as to what is really
important to me. And now I know I need

there with the people I love.

It was rude what I said.

I know. But baby, I knew it displaced
anger.

I know that. It wasn't about me. It's
about what you were going through. And

that's what friends are. We forgive
them. And I knew you were going through

bad time. And that's why I didn't harbor
any anger. I get it. I feel so bad

about you. No, it's okay. Because you
know what? I have to tell you, Ebony and

Leah were like so there about the COVID
and understanding. But you made sure.

Like you were sending an ambulance.

For me. Of course I was. I had 103 feet
up. I know. Actually, I was ready to

send the ambulance.

I was. COVID is a serious disease. And
Sonia was running a fever for a very

time. Sonia's alone.

Who's going to take care of her?

Nurse Ramona to the rescue.

The whole time I was sick, I just kept
thinking about you. How you are so

to me. So understanding.

I know Lou said whatever I said was very
hurtful. So I feel so bad about that.

I guess I have to apologize to Lou, too,
because I've been kind of hard on her

as well. Oh, yeah, yeah. She was rushing
me to go, and I ended up peeing behind

the bus. I have to apologize to Artie.
Oh, I've got a long apology list.

Coming up.

I've got a game for you. You ready to
play?

Pin the tail on us.

Are you kidding me? My God.

Talk about an ass.

I'm sweating in my bra.

All right, so.

Oh, wow.

I wanted to make it.

Sonia, I know you don't want to admit
that you're not feeling great with this

COVID. She's not feeling great, yeah.
And you had a two -hour drive. I

let's just chill out inside.

So I got us these great little outfits,
like very kind of comfy and nice.

Oh, my God. Really? We have to wear
that?

I wanted to make Valentine's Night
special and warm and intimate. And what

better way to bond by wearing some
loungy outfits? And we kind of all wear

same. I think we're just all going to
have a lot of fun and laugh and a great

time. Oh, if you don't watch, you don't
have. I thought it would be fun. It is

so cute. And then I got sparkles. We all
need to do it.

Sparkles? Can we put our own spin on
that outfit?

Luann, you're wearing it. You're not
wearing your cabaret outfit. You're

this.

Okay, so these outfits are ugly. They're
very ugly and very cheap.

Very, very cheap.

But in the spirit of sisterhood, I will
put on these cheap -ass pajamas and

these corny -ass Wawarski crystals on my
face, and I'm happy to do it because

we're all in it together.

Well, as long as I have a feather boa,
I'm fine.

I told her to get the boas. I told her
we needed boas.

Okay.

I want to wear the boa and not be
constricted by the boa.

She got these 10 for $10 because
they're... No!

Is this real wood, Ramona? Yeah, of
course it is. Oh, my God, that's

Oh, I love standing right next to it.
Yeah, I have to put another piece of

on the fire, actually. Oh, we're real
hot girls now.

Hot girl winter!

Yay!

I'm eating chocolate. I'm like, there's
no dessert.

Okay.

I never worry about food with Singer,
but if she don't have dessert, she's

flipping. She has no dessert, Dawn.
She's flipping. It's what happens after

COVID, man.

Everybody freaks about the COVID once
you've had it. You're like a leper.

What happened to your guy, the one from
Ebeneez Girl?

Grew up on bacon. My grandmother made
bacon every weekend. I love it. Nothing

wrong with it. I don't read the reports.

Fake news.

It's healthy for you.

When I had COVID, he didn't send me even
a chicken soup, you know, like in New

York. You say, oh, I'm sick. Oh, really?

Forget COVID. Like, you send, like,
chicken in a pot. And he's Jewish.

He should know better.

Send me the freaking burgers. I figured
he'd be doting over you.

No, not even flour.

So Bradley has fizzled out.

To say the least.

Honestly, I gave it my best effort. I
was a listener. I was available for

Bradley's phone calls. I even did
FaceTimes while he was watching TV.

But when I don't get flowers, and then
when I'm sick with COVID, not even a

chicken in a pot.

No, that's not Mr. Right.

I think I'll go back to Mr. Right now
for a moment then.

And nothing for Valentine's Day?

You sent me more than he sent.

Frenchie, you know, he would always come
with flowers for me and for the intern

and for everybody. Yeah, but he's
French.

That's the difference.

American guys are not romantic.

I think we need to go to Europe.

Hey, babies.

Hey, babies. You look great.

Thank you. I'm very comfy.

Yes, I do. Oh, girl, it took me forever
to put mine on. Yes.

Sonia Morgan.

I'm freaking out. I just blew up the
toilet.

Really? Really, Sonia? Really?

Sonia Rita, do you have a scarf or
anything I can use as a blindfold?

Don't ask.

I do have one. I do have a scarf. You
do?

For a blindfold? Or you know what? We
can look in Ramona's closet.

So here, here's the dinner menu. Roasted
red beef, 12 mushes of tag.

This is beautiful. This is so kind of
you to do. Who needs a man when you got

Ramona Sr.? No. Who needs a man when we
got girlfriends? When we got

girlfriends. You girls are so important
to me. You really are. This is very

romantic, too. Like, in a loving way.
Sweet way. Love. Sex. Because we're sexy

girls. Because we are sexy.

I love a Galentine's Day.

It's a day about love.

And last I checked, you can love on your
girlfriends, too. What is going on

here? What about this? What's this? This
is strange. Are you telling me Ramona's

going to wear this? Oh, this might be
perfect.

This is perfect.

Pump it. Pump it, baby.

Oh, my god.

How things have changed in one day.

And it's not even 8 o 'clock yet. Who is
this? I don't know.

Do you realize that when you spoke to me
yesterday?

Yeah. Where were we? You got off the
phone, but you were still on. On.

And you were like, I don't know why I
try to go out all the time. I feel so

Well, why did you do that to me? I've
been doing it to you and Ramona. I

apologized to her, and I meant to get to
you next.

And I just felt so guilty. I was coming
off my antidepressants.

I know, but I can't be your punching
bag, my love.

You're near and dear to me, and I love
you, and you know that.

So to talk about me that way, but it
makes me feel... You have been my

bag. No, it makes me ill. I don't need
to always vent on you. Of course, and a

person can only take so much. Do you
know what I mean? And then it turns.

You know what I mean? I don't want that
to happen to us. So I love you, and

that's all I wanted to say. And I'm not
going to go on about it, because you

know I don't. Hold on.

But I don't, because that's the only way
to survive.

I love Luann, and I feel bad talking
shit about her all the time.

However, if we don't talk about our best
friends, who do we talk about?

Look what I'm wearing.

Ring of bail?

I've never worn a matching pajama set in
my life.

Hey, girl.

Hey, Lou.

You look fab, Lou. Oh, my God. She's
getting ready for a cabaret. There's

nothing like Lou in a boa.

Talk about how beautiful the table is.
Right? Come on. I think we should clear

it. But who's going to? Nobody.

Just us.

Here's to us.

Just us.

So I'm sitting here. Okay. Ebony's
sitting here.

Leah's sitting here. And then Sonia and
Luann, you decide where you want to sit

there. As long as I'm next to Lou, I'm
in heaven.

I just hope I can take Sonia at face
value and that she's being honest with

because she's laying it on thick.

It's really, really lovely. So nice.

I like hanging with the girls in PJs.
It's great.

So much better than having a boyfriend.

Well, it's definitely better than a
whack boyfriend. I'll own that.

I didn't really know how I would feel
for Valentine's Day, being that I'm just

coming off of yet another breakup.

But I'm very optimistic. I'm looking
forward to dating again. And in the

meantime, I get some great time with my
gals.

It's beautiful. What is it? Beautiful
presentation.

This is baby arugula with roasted red
beets, chevra, and some toasted walnuts.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Wow, looks fabulous, babe.

Bon appetit. Bon appetit.

Oh, my God, look at the beets. They're
hard.

Yeah, they're hard.

Oh, my God, I love that.

Where do we want to travel together when
we can?

I would love to bring you ladies to New
Orleans with me. Because to know me is

to know that part of me.

And you, Lou, and Ramona don't know, but
I confirm Jude is my father. He took

the DNA test.

Really? Oh, my God. I told Sonia.

Sonia, you don't know this because you
were recovering from the COVID. But you

got tested.

Jude is my father.

My investigator.

I know that's how I felt. I talked to
him yesterday for the first time. He

better be gushing over you.

You have a father. That's crazy.

Congratulations.

Thank you, God.

That's major.

Major. It's amazing.

I have two sisters.

They're welcoming me into the family.
Sonia read the text message.

This is your sister with a capital S. I
want to welcome you, capital W, to the

family, capital F.

Yeah. Holy. Isn't that so nice?

They're both moms. They're both great.
They're wives.

They're great. So you have nieces and
nephews. I have, yeah. Oh, my gosh.

It's so incredible how in just six
months, I went from feeling like I had

family to now I have a huge family.

And I have to get started on getting to
know each and every one of them. I think

in 2021, I need to try something new. Mm
-hmm.

Because you three have definitely
married and dated extremely wealthy, and

ended up great.

Yeah. And I think I need to start that.
You do. I need a sugar daddy. Try

wealthy. We might like a sugar daddy.
Let's play win the sugar daddy.

Obviously, whatever strategy I have
doesn't work because I've never gotten

jewelry. I've never had my rent paid for
me. I mean, I had to pay for my own

kids.

I've got a game for you. Can I pay
first?

Yeah, hurry up, Leah. Okay, I love
games.

So here we go. You guys ready? We have
tape.

You ready to play?

Pin the tail on Harry!

Oh, shit!

Oh, God, are you kidding me? My God.

Talk about an ass. Three out of five of
us have dipped our toe in the Harry pot.

You look incredibly beautiful.

Thank you. Your boobs look perfect.

Nothing a little bra and a little Yves
Saint Laurent can't do.

You are so amazing.

You know, Harry, we know each other very
well. I know.

Don't believe me. I'm not. Now I'm not.

Harry! Look at that hair.

Let me see the hair.

And the boobs. Jesus Christ.

Work it out. I can't.

Whoever doesn't get close to his mouth
has to kiss Harry, okay?

He's my friend and ex -boyfriend 30
years ago. Why are you friends with him?

know he said s*** about me. He adores
you. He told me he loves and adores you

and he misses you.

That's all I know. But you shouldn't
even hang out with him. I don't hang out

with him. You do hang out with him.
Here's lips for you.

Lips. Lips. We're all putting lips on
Harry.

Oh, God.

Valentine's Day. I thought it was fun.
This will be fun.

I don't know. I feel a little
disrespectful for Harry. He's my friend.

He's not disrespectful.

He's not your friend. He's my ex
-boyfriend who cheated on me and stole

friend.

ex -boyfriend who cheated on me and all
my friends.

What are we doing?

It's pin the tail on Harry.

Pin the tail on the what? You don't see
the picture?

Okay, Ramona, you go first. Come on.

I'm glad you had a good reaction. Wait,
is there a state?

Oh, my God.

That's so fucking creepy.

Can I ask you to ask Andrea to bring you
another glass of wine?

What's your name? Romeo.

Oh, that's too good.

Romeo. I'm Juliet.

Okay, whoever doesn't get close to his
mouth has to kiss Harry, okay?

Okay. All right, so I'm going to spin
you around.

Oh, don't make me. I'll get vertigo. All
right, okay. Okay, you're good. So

Harry's in front of you. He's in front
of you. I can't even believe Harry's not

here and he's here. I can't stand it.

Okay. Oh, well, I did too far.

Okay, wait. You ready? The only one that
hasn't.

No, not the only bitch.

Okay, now we're going to twist her
around. And here he's in front of you.

you can't see, right? No, I can't see
anything. Okay, here he's in front of

Oh, okay.

Okay, Leah is closer.

So Ramona is in the losing position
right now. I'm going to go now. Oh,

All right, a little twirl.

All right, pin the tail on Harry.

Or the lips, I should say.

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy.

Oh, you are losing, baby.

Everybody else has kissed Harry Dubin,
so I guess I might as well kiss his ass,

too. Let's go.

Everybody's had their lips on Harry.

Why not?

He's not a bad -looking guy, though. All
right. Okay, here you go, Son.

Can I go up here?

Okay, ready?

Let's just see. Sonia's cheating.

Sonia's looking.

Sonia's cheating.

Sonia's cheating.

Sonia's cheating.

I did not look. Okay, here you go. All
right, do it again.

Now I'm going to go right in and stick
it into Harry.

Up his butt. Stick it in. Yeah, give it
to Harry. Keep your eyes closed.

I can't see shit. There you go. Look,
look, look. You're done good.

All right, good.

One game I never want to play again is
find Harry between the sheets or pin a

fucking kiss on this poster.

Yours is the closest.

Okay, so somebody's got to spin me
around. When it comes to Harry, I just

want to stick it on him. I wanted to put
it up on the edge like Ebony did.

But I just want you to know.

I'm just friends with Harry, and he
misses you in New Jersey.

Oh, that's nice.

He does.

So straight ahead, right? Straight
ahead, girl.

Straight ahead.

You and Sonya's lips are kissing!

No! No!

We're safe. Okay, Ebony.

Oh, no. You gotta kiss Harry.

We need proof.

Oh,

no! We need proof.

That's part of the deal. You gotta kiss
Harry, and we get to take a picture.

Yep.

Sorry. Okay, come on. Oh, God.

All right, Leah, come on on this one.

Oh, he's a nice guy. I'll introduce you.
I'm okay.

Don't introduce him to anybody. He's
actually very charming.

You better hurry up, Lou.

All right, here she goes.

I live for a nice older man, honey, but
Harry Dubin just seems raggedy to me,

like an overgrown frat boy or something.

Maybe I'll see what his father looks
like.

Next time on the season finale of The
Real Housewives of New York City.

Leah, look.

I think COVID changed me.

You got a nice butt, singer.

We're going to be in Mykonos for the
day.

What's the matter? She loves Rob.

Yeah. For sure.

For sure.

I've been working hard over here on all
our fun games. Hell, you have.

I'm ready.

I need some hot.

I think you like me and Leah.

Does she do hawkers?

What are we drinking, Bouchon?

I'm Ebony K. Williams, and I'm holding
court.

Y 'all.

Y 'all, y 'all.

Happy birthday.

Just so you know, this is Sonya by Sonya
Morgan.

Oh, it's true, darling.

Under 200.

Under 200 in century 21, darling.

Get a life.