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♪
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(woman) ♪ WHAT IS THIS THING ♪
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♪ CALLED LOVE? ♪
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♪ THIS FUNNY THING ♪
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♪ CALLED LOVE ♪
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♪ JUST WHO CAN SOLVE ♪
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♪ ITS MYSTERY? ♪
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♪ WHY SHOULD IT MAKE ♪
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♪ A FOOL OF ME? ♪
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♪ I SAW YOU THERE ♪
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♪ THAT WONDERFUL DAY ♪
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♪ YOU TOOK MY LOVE ♪
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♪ AND THREW IT AWAY ♪
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00:01:01,333 --> 00:01:04,300
♪ AND SO I ASK THE LORD ♪
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♪ IN HEAVEN ABOVE ♪
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♪ WHAT IS THIS THING ♪
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♪ CALLED LOVE? ♪
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♪ CALLED LOVE ♪
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Captioned by
Closed Captioning Services, Inc.
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I ONLY WISH ALL OF OUR CLIENTS
WERE SUCH A DELIGHT, ALANA.
21
00:01:37,700 --> 00:01:39,333
LOVELY EVENING.
22
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YEAH, CONSIDERING
WE SPENT DINNER PLOTTING OUT
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HOW TO SPILL THE BLOOD
OF THAT PREDATORY PRICK.
24
00:01:43,500 --> 00:01:46,300
OH, TWO "P" WORDS IN A ROW.
I'M APPROACHING THRESHOLD.
25
00:01:46,300 --> 00:01:50,233
ALANA, YOU DO $300 MILLION
A YEAR. YOU'RE A TARGET.
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00:01:50,233 --> 00:01:51,734
YOUR NAUGHTY DREAMS BRA
IS A RUNAWAY HIT.
27
00:01:51,734 --> 00:01:54,400
IT WAS INEVITABLE
SOMEBODY WAS GONNA RIP IT OFF.
28
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:55,600
WELL-SAID, MICHAEL.
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00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:57,500
WIN THE LAWSUIT FOR ME, GUYS.
30
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I WANT THAT BASTARD'S BALLS
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SHRIVELING IN A SMALL JAR
IN A HOT ROOM.
32
00:02:02,867 --> 00:02:06,166
WE'LL MAKE THIS GO AWAY,
ALANA.
33
00:02:06,166 --> 00:02:07,734
ARE YOU STARING
AT MY BREASTS, LUTHER?
34
00:02:07,734 --> 00:02:11,500
NO, NO, JUST MARVELING
AT THE ENGINEERING BRILLIANCE
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00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:13,567
OF YOUR NAUGHTY DREAMS.
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I'M NOT WEARING A BRA.
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OH. BRILLIANT.
38
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BYE, NOW.
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(sighs)
WHAT A GOOD PERSON SHE IS.
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(car door closes)
YEAH. OTHER THAN BEING
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A POWER-CRAZED, OVERSEXED,
CASTRATING BITCH.
(vehicle departs)
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OVERSEXED?
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
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SINCE SHE'S ONE
OF OUR BIGGEST CLIENTS,
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I... SUPPOSE I SHOULDN'T
SLEEP WITH HER, RIGHT?
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YOU SHOULDN'T SLEEP WITH HER
BECAUSE SHE'D SNAP YOUR DICK OFF
46
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AND USE IT AS A CAT TOY.
47
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DID YOU SEE HOW HER NIPPLES
WERE POINTED RIGHT AT ME
48
00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:45,433
WHEN THE VICHYSSOISE ARRIVED?
49
00:02:45,433 --> 00:02:48,900
I'M NOT JUST IMAGINING THINGS
HERE, MICHAEL.
50
00:02:48,900 --> 00:02:50,834
THEY WERE MAKING DIRECT
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EYE CONTACT WITH ME
AND SAYING...
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(high-pitched voice)
"LUTHER, WE'RE IN HERE,
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00:02:54,266 --> 00:02:56,300
"AND WE'RE ALL ALONE.
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00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:58,567
"YES, WE WANT TO COME OUT
AND HAVE SOME FUN.
55
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WE NEED A FRIEND."
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OH, MY GOD. LUTHER!
IT'S ME, NIKKI!
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LENA, LOOK WHO'S HERE.
58
00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:06,333
LUTHER?
59
00:03:06,333 --> 00:03:07,633
YOU REMEMBER US?
60
00:03:07,633 --> 00:03:10,600
DEER VALLEY? YOUR SKI CONDO?
61
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,533
YOU OWN A SKI CONDO?
I DID THAT WEEKEND.
62
00:03:12,533 --> 00:03:15,300
OH, THAT'S THE SQUIRTER,
THE ONE I TOLD YOU ABOUT.
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LOADS OF FUN.
LOADS OF LAUNDRY.
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(singsongy) LUTHER,
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00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:22,500
WE'VE GOT A BAR IN HERE AND SOME
NASTY DVDs FROM ICELAND.
66
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COME SAY HI!
67
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ICELAND? (mutters)
68
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(siren whoops)
69
00:03:34,567 --> 00:03:37,133
(police radio chatter)
70
00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:39,533
SIR,
ARE YOU MICHAEL STRATHMORE?
71
00:03:39,533 --> 00:03:41,500
YES. WHAT'S GOING ON?
SIR, YOU'RE UNDER ARREST.
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FOR WHAT?
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(handcuffs clicking)
AAH.
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I HAVE A BENCH WARRANT.
DO YOU HAVE AN ATTORNEY?
I AM AN ATTORNEY.
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NOW SEE HERE, OFFICER!
I CAN VOUCH FOR MR. STRATHMORE.
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00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:51,600
WHAT'S THE CHARGE?
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SIR, YOU'RE INTERFERING
WITH AN ARRESTING OFFICER.
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00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,500
ARE THOSE GIRLS UNDERAGE?
79
00:03:56,500 --> 00:03:59,800
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
THEY'RE PART OF A CHURCH GROUP.
80
00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:01,767
WHAT'S YOUR BADGE NUMBER,
OFFICER?
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IT'S OKAY.
I'LL HANDLE THIS, LUTHER.
82
00:04:05,900 --> 00:04:08,867
OH. HE'LL HANDLE IT.
83
00:04:08,867 --> 00:04:11,667
"ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT"
IS GOING TO LOVE THIS.
84
00:04:11,667 --> 00:04:12,867
(laughs)
85
00:04:12,867 --> 00:04:14,867
(police radio chatter)
86
00:04:14,867 --> 00:04:18,367
DOWN WE GO. DOWN THE HATCH.
(clears throat)
87
00:04:18,367 --> 00:04:21,433
(police radio chatter)
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00:04:21,433 --> 00:04:23,300
AND THEY'RE REALLY
GONNA LOVE THIS.
89
00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:26,567
OH, NIPPLE, CAN YOU SEE ME?
NIPPLE, CAN YOU HEAR ME?
90
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,734
(both laugh)
(clink)
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00:04:28,734 --> 00:04:31,433
MY SECOND WIFE NEVER CARED
FOR GAMBLING,
92
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PROBABLY 'CAUSE SHE'S TOO YOUNG
TO GET INTO THE CASINOS.
93
00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:37,700
ANYWAY, NOT TO GET TOO DEEP HERE
'CAUSE I HATE THAT SHIT--
94
00:04:37,700 --> 00:04:40,133
IT'S ALL A BIG GAMBLE ANYWAY,
ISN'T IT?
95
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I MEAN, WHAT ARE THE ODDS
96
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I'M GONNA FALL IN LOVE
WITH A CAR SHOW MODEL
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AND WANT TO TO GET MARRIED
FOR THE EIGHTH TIME? (chuckles)
98
00:04:47,266 --> 00:04:50,834
FATE IS ONE CRAZY MOTHERFUCKER.
IT'S LIKE I TELL MICHAEL--
99
00:04:50,834 --> 00:04:54,200
YOU SPIN THE WHEEL,
A BALL FALLS WHERE IT MAY.
100
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,533
FATE COULD GIVE A FAT FUCK
WHAT YOU THINK.
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BEFORE YOU KNOW IT,
102
00:04:58,300 --> 00:05:00,700
WE'RE ALL WEARING HEAVY MAKEUP
IN A BOX ANYWAY,
103
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:03,233
SO LET GO OF THE HANDLEBARS.
104
00:05:03,233 --> 00:05:06,166
WHY DID YOU BLINDFOLD ME?
WHAT IS THIS?
105
00:05:06,166 --> 00:05:08,934
WHAT, AM I BEING ESCORTED
TO MY OWN MURDER?
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HEY, SHUT UP!
107
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YOU'RE IN TROUBLE.
108
00:05:12,567 --> 00:05:14,433
A LOT OF TROUBLE.
109
00:05:19,700 --> 00:05:24,367
HEY, OFFICER, YOU EVER HEARD
OF POLICE BRUTALITY?
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00:05:24,367 --> 00:05:25,633
(animals roaring in distance)
111
00:05:25,633 --> 00:05:28,400
THIS BRUTAL ENOUGH FOR YOU?
112
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I HEAR LIONS.
113
00:05:29,767 --> 00:05:32,333
(giggles)
IT'S JUST YOUR IMAGINATION.
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00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:33,767
(both grunting)
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I DON'T HAVE AN IMAGINATION.
(grunts)
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I'M A LAWYER, REMEMBER?
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(trumpeting)
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QUIET,
AND I'LL DO IT JUST...
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(squeals, grunting)
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(chatters)
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(both grunting)
122
00:05:51,467 --> 00:05:52,800
(growls)
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GOD, I MISSED YOUR COCK.
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00:05:54,734 --> 00:05:56,533
YOU KNOW,
IT'S BEEN ASKING ABOUT YOU.
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(grunting)
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00:05:58,133 --> 00:05:59,500
WE'RE AT THE FUCKING ZOO.
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(both laughing)
128
00:06:02,533 --> 00:06:04,133
YOU LIKE IT?
129
00:06:04,133 --> 00:06:05,734
OHH! GREAT IDEA, JANE.
130
00:06:05,734 --> 00:06:09,500
(both moaning)
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(gasps)
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00:06:13,867 --> 00:06:15,400
(squawking)
133
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:18,467
(gasps) JUST PROTECTING
AND SERVING.
134
00:06:18,467 --> 00:06:21,300
WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE?
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I CAN'T STAY AWAY
FROM YOU.
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(calling)
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(chattering)
138
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:29,100
(both grunting)
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00:06:29,100 --> 00:06:31,133
(chattering)
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00:06:31,133 --> 00:06:33,233
(continues grunting)
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(calling, roaring)
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(gasping)
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(growling)
(gasping)
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00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:45,200
(shouting)
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00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,467
(screams)
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00:06:47,467 --> 00:06:49,834
(gasping)
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00:06:49,834 --> 00:06:53,300
(laughs)
THAT WAS KILLER.
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00:06:53,300 --> 00:06:54,600
(sighs)
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(chuckles and moans)
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00:06:57,266 --> 00:07:00,567
(animals roaring in distance)
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00:07:00,567 --> 00:07:02,467
(sighs)
152
00:07:02,467 --> 00:07:05,133
YOU FOUGHT BACK GOOD.
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GOT ME WET.
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00:07:11,266 --> 00:07:13,166
ARE YOU OKAY?
155
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:14,433
YEAH.
156
00:07:14,433 --> 00:07:15,567
WHAT IS IT?
157
00:07:15,567 --> 00:07:18,200
I'M GOOD.
158
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:19,633
YOU WERE BETTER
A MINUTE AGO.
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00:07:19,633 --> 00:07:22,233
(laughs) YOU WORRY TOO MUCH.
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00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:24,266
TELL ME I'M WRONG.
I'LL STOP ASKING.
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HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU GOT
YOUR FIRST KISS?
162
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,567
YOU GOT A PROBLEM
WITH THE WAY I KISS?
163
00:07:32,567 --> 00:07:34,700
YOU CAN--
YOU COULD USE SOME WORK.
164
00:07:36,567 --> 00:07:38,567
LISTEN, I GOTTA GET BACK
ON SHIFT, SO, UM,
165
00:07:38,567 --> 00:07:42,233
LET'S GET OUTTA HERE.
JUST GO.
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00:07:43,533 --> 00:07:45,100
YEAH.
167
00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:46,433
YEAH.
168
00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:48,900
LET ME OUT UP THERE.
169
00:07:48,900 --> 00:07:50,600
WHY? I'LL RUN YOU BACK
TO THE RESTAURANT
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00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,133
TO GET YOUR CAR.
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00:07:52,133 --> 00:07:53,467
I'LL WALK.
I FEEL LIKE GETTING SOME AIR.
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(chuckles) YOU'RE PISSED.
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00:07:54,900 --> 00:07:56,533
I CAN TELL BECAUSE
174
00:07:56,533 --> 00:07:59,200
YOUR SENTENCES GET CLIPPED
AND IMPERSONAL.
175
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,300
YOU NEVER TOLD ME I KISS
LIKE A FUCKING AMATEUR.
176
00:08:01,300 --> 00:08:03,467
I NEVER COMPARED YOU
TO AN AMATEUR.
177
00:08:03,467 --> 00:08:06,600
YOUR LIPS... KIND OF--
KIND OF WEIRD, THAT'S ALL.
178
00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:08,300
EVERYBODY'S ISOMETRICAL.
179
00:08:08,300 --> 00:08:10,500
WHAT ARE YOU,
HEAD OF THE GENOME PROJECT?
180
00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:13,500
I DON'T WANNA HEAR ANY MORE.
IF I KISSED LIKE YOU,
I WOULD WANT DETAILS.
181
00:08:13,500 --> 00:08:15,200
YEAH, WELL, I'M NOT YOU,
FOR WHICH I AM GRATEFUL FOR.
182
00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:18,734
NOW PULL OVER.
AND WHERE'S MY PANTS?
183
00:08:18,734 --> 00:08:22,266
NO! YOU JUST THREW MY PANTS
OUT THE GODDAMN WINDOW!
184
00:08:22,266 --> 00:08:25,800
NO, NO, THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
WHAT ARE YOU, 12?
185
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:28,467
(giggles)
STOP THE GODDAMN CAR!
186
00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:30,233
(brakes squeal)
187
00:08:30,233 --> 00:08:31,467
JESUS.
188
00:08:36,567 --> 00:08:38,200
WHAT, YOU THINK
I'M TOO SELF-CONSCIOUS
189
00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:40,467
TO WALK AROUND
WITHOUT MY PANTS ON?
190
00:08:40,467 --> 00:08:43,200
YOU THINK YOU CAN CONTROL ME
THROUGH MY PANTS?
191
00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:45,533
WHAT PANTS?
OH, GO TO HELL!
192
00:08:45,533 --> 00:08:47,767
OH, I'M ALREADY THERE.
DON'T EXPECT TO SEE ME.
193
00:08:47,767 --> 00:08:49,800
YEAH, I'LL BE LAYING LOW
SO ME AND MY DEFORMED LIPS
194
00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:53,600
AREN'T OUT IN PUBLIC
SCARING CHILDREN.
195
00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:59,333
(tires peal)
196
00:08:59,333 --> 00:09:02,567
(dog barking in distance)
197
00:09:02,567 --> 00:09:04,166
FUCK.
198
00:09:07,133 --> 00:09:10,400
I ONCE GOT INTO A 4-HOUR
ARGUMENT WITH A ANAIS NIN
199
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,900
ABOUT FELLATIO AND COMMUNISM.
200
00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:14,433
SHE SWORE SHE DIDN'T SWALLOW
201
00:09:14,433 --> 00:09:16,800
UNLESS THE MAN GAVE
TO SOVIET CHARITIES.
202
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:19,467
I TOLD HER SHE WAS
AN EXTORTIONIST
203
00:09:19,467 --> 00:09:21,800
AND THAT I LOVED SUCKING COCK.
204
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,266
(inhales deeply)
205
00:09:24,266 --> 00:09:26,367
THAT'S GOOD FUCKING WEED.
206
00:09:26,367 --> 00:09:28,500
THEY SAY THE MEASURE
OF A FIRST-CLASS MIND
207
00:09:28,500 --> 00:09:31,100
IS THE ABILITY TO ENTERTAIN
TWO OPPOSING THOUGHTS
208
00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:32,767
AT THE SAME TIME.
209
00:09:32,767 --> 00:09:34,467
I THINK THE MEASURE
OF A FIRST-CLASS MIND
210
00:09:34,467 --> 00:09:37,600
IS KNOWING WHEN TO TELL SOMEONE
TO KISS YOUR ASS.
211
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:40,567
PEOPLE NEVER ARGUE ABOUT WHAT
THEY'RE ARGUING ABOUT.
212
00:09:40,567 --> 00:09:42,400
IT'S ALL JUST SYMBOLIC.
213
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:45,867
I SAY CUT TO THE CHASE,
SWALLOW, AND GET ON WITH IT.
214
00:09:51,433 --> 00:09:52,700
GOD, I'M GONNA BE LATE.
215
00:09:52,700 --> 00:09:53,867
MM, YOU DIDN'T SLEEP
LAST NIGHT.
216
00:09:53,867 --> 00:09:55,667
I COULD HEAR YOU
TOSSING AND TURNING.
217
00:09:55,667 --> 00:09:57,500
YOU SMELL LIKE THE VELD.
218
00:09:57,500 --> 00:09:58,800
WE FUCKED AT A ZOO.
I'VE GOTTA GO.
219
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:00,700
A ZOO? OKAY, GIVE ME
SOME MORE DETAILS HERE
220
00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:03,166
SO I CAN BURN OFF
MY ANTIDEPRESSANTS.
221
00:10:03,166 --> 00:10:06,533
IT'S A KISSING PROBLEM.
OKAY? YOU HAPPIER NOW?
222
00:10:06,533 --> 00:10:08,633
HE ACCUSED YOU OF THAT?
223
00:10:08,633 --> 00:10:10,433
I MEAN,
THAT'S TOTALLY INSENSITIVE.
NO, I ACCUSED HIM.
224
00:10:10,433 --> 00:10:11,700
YOU DON'T LIKE
THE WAY HE KISSES?
225
00:10:11,700 --> 00:10:13,166
(sighs)
226
00:10:13,166 --> 00:10:14,533
YOU HAVE NO FUTURE.
227
00:10:14,533 --> 00:10:17,533
IS IT LIKE
HE'S LICKING STAMPS?
228
00:10:17,533 --> 00:10:20,900
(chuckles) NO. HE'S GOT
SOME TECHNIQUE, SOME SUBTLETY.
229
00:10:20,900 --> 00:10:23,433
I TOLD HIM IT'S
THE LIP ALIGNMENT PROBLEM.
230
00:10:23,433 --> 00:10:26,300
WHICH WAS BULLSHIT.
TOTAL.
231
00:10:26,300 --> 00:10:28,600
HMM. SO YOU'RE SAYING
THAT YOU'RE KISSING HIM
232
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,500
BETTER THAN HE'S KISSING YOU.
233
00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:32,500
YEAH. THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING.
234
00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:37,300
SOMETIMES THE PERSON
WHO FEELS MOST HOLDS BACK MOST.
235
00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:41,166
HE'S A LAWYER.
HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE FEELS.
236
00:10:41,166 --> 00:10:43,266
HIS LIPS DO.
237
00:10:46,767 --> 00:10:48,900
(sighs)
238
00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:50,400
IT'S TRUE.
(door squeaks)
239
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:54,166
(horn blares)
240
00:10:54,166 --> 00:10:57,200
IT IS MY ABSOLUTE CONVICTION
THAT IF WE ARE GOING TO...
241
00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:58,467
(inhales sharply) MOUNT...
242
00:10:58,467 --> 00:10:59,800
DON'T SAY "MOUNT."
243
00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:01,467
A PROPER DEFENSE FOR ALANA--
244
00:11:01,467 --> 00:11:04,533
WHO IS THE FUTURE
OF REALLY SUGGESTIVE UNDERWEAR
245
00:11:04,533 --> 00:11:06,500
IN AMERICA--
HEREINAFTER REFERRED TO
246
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,834
AS "SILKY WHACKOFFIA"
247
00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:10,834
AND ASSURE HER
A COURTROOM VICTORY--
248
00:11:10,834 --> 00:11:12,667
AT WHICH TIME SHE WILL BECOME
A BILLIONAIRE
249
00:11:12,667 --> 00:11:14,667
AND MY THIRD WIFE--
250
00:11:14,667 --> 00:11:16,166
YOU NEED TO HAVE
A MORE INTIMATE UNDERSTANDING
251
00:11:16,166 --> 00:11:17,567
OF HER PRODUCT LINE.
252
00:11:17,567 --> 00:11:20,133
BLAH, BLAH. YOU JUST
LIKE TOUCHING THAT STUFF.
253
00:11:20,133 --> 00:11:23,233
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?
YOU'RE SO PISSY THIS MORNING.
254
00:11:23,233 --> 00:11:24,633
HMM, TROUBLE IN COPLAND?
255
00:11:24,633 --> 00:11:26,500
SHE IS SEXY, BY THE WAY.
256
00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:29,633
SHE INTO THREESOMES--
HER, ME, THE SQUIRTER?
257
00:11:29,633 --> 00:11:31,433
I'LL BRING MY OWN TOP.
258
00:11:31,433 --> 00:11:35,367
YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT SHE'S INTO?
HURTING MY FEELINGS.
259
00:11:35,367 --> 00:11:36,667
SHE TOLD ME I KISSED BAD.
260
00:11:36,667 --> 00:11:38,133
REALLY?
261
00:11:38,133 --> 00:11:39,433
NO ONE EVER SAID THAT
TO ME BEFORE.
262
00:11:39,433 --> 00:11:40,767
HMM.
263
00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:42,266
IT'S OVER BETWEEN US.
264
00:11:42,266 --> 00:11:44,200
BAD KISSING IS
THE KISS OF DEATH.
265
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:47,734
(clears throat)
WHAT'S YOUR, UM... STYLE?
266
00:11:47,734 --> 00:11:49,600
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
267
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,333
YOUR KISSING STYLE.
SHOW ME.
268
00:11:52,333 --> 00:11:53,834
I'VE KISSED A FEW WOMEN.
I'M OBJECTIVE.
269
00:11:53,834 --> 00:11:56,333
(laughs)
270
00:11:56,333 --> 00:11:57,834
I'M NOT GONNA KISS YOU.
271
00:11:57,834 --> 00:12:00,834
OH, COME ON, MICHAEL.
THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.
272
00:12:00,834 --> 00:12:03,734
I-I DON'T DERIVE
ANY EROTIC PLEASURE FROM IT.
273
00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:12,266
ALL RIGHT, TAKE CHARGE.
274
00:12:12,266 --> 00:12:14,166
(clears throat)
275
00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:16,166
(sighs)
276
00:12:16,166 --> 00:12:18,300
DO YOU, UH,
TILT LEFT OR RIGHT?
277
00:12:18,300 --> 00:12:19,600
RIGHT.
278
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:21,567
LOVELY. OH, VERY NICE COLOGNE,
BY THE WAY.
279
00:12:21,567 --> 00:12:22,900
THANK YOU.
TONGUE?
280
00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:25,633
NOT RIGHT NOW.
UNDERSTOOD. MY LIPS ARE YOURS.
281
00:12:28,367 --> 00:12:31,333
HMM. ONE MORE GO.
NEED MORE DATA.
282
00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:32,767
(clears throat)
283
00:12:34,166 --> 00:12:35,533
MM-HMM.
284
00:12:35,533 --> 00:12:38,600
MM-HMM. MM, MM, MM.
285
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:41,700
(clears throat)
IT WAS GOOD.
286
00:12:41,700 --> 00:12:43,266
BUT NOT GREAT.
287
00:12:43,266 --> 00:12:45,266
NO, I FEEL FULFILLED.
288
00:12:45,266 --> 00:12:46,700
YOU'RE NOT JUST SAYING THAT?
289
00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:48,333
NOW THAT WE'VE KISSED,
MAYBE YOU'RE...
290
00:12:48,333 --> 00:12:49,734
AFRAID TO HURT MY FEELINGS?
291
00:12:49,734 --> 00:12:52,266
NO, I THINK YOU'RE
A VERY GOOD KISSER, MICHAEL.
292
00:12:52,266 --> 00:12:57,200
HOWEVER, I DO HAVE ONE TIP.
IF I MAY.
293
00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:58,800
(clears throat)
YEAH.
294
00:13:08,934 --> 00:13:10,533
(sighs)
295
00:13:10,533 --> 00:13:12,266
AHH.
296
00:13:12,266 --> 00:13:14,667
(sniffs, clears throat)
297
00:13:14,667 --> 00:13:16,400
THAT WAS... THAT WAS NICE.
298
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:17,834
MM.
WHAT WAS THAT--WHAT WAS THAT
THING YOU WERE DOING?
299
00:13:17,834 --> 00:13:19,266
SUCTION.
300
00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:20,467
SUCTION?
301
00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:22,233
SUCTION.
302
00:13:22,233 --> 00:13:23,633
(pats arm)
303
00:13:23,633 --> 00:13:25,900
IT'S YOUR FRIEND.
304
00:13:25,900 --> 00:13:29,200
(cell phone rings)
305
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,867
(ring)
306
00:13:32,734 --> 00:13:34,734
(ring)
307
00:13:34,734 --> 00:13:38,400
(dog barking in distance)
308
00:13:43,133 --> 00:13:46,633
(chuckles)
RELAX. I'M UNARMED.
309
00:13:51,867 --> 00:13:55,500
NICE PLACE.
310
00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:58,333
WHATEVER LOOKS GOOD
IS MY SISTER'S IDEA.
311
00:13:58,333 --> 00:14:00,400
SHE'S THE ONE
WITH THE TASTE.
312
00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:02,834
YOU SAYING
YOU DON'T HAVE TASTE?
313
00:14:02,834 --> 00:14:05,934
MM.
I'M THE GIRL WITH A GUN.
314
00:14:05,934 --> 00:14:08,600
TASTE ISN'T MY... STRENGTH.
315
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,300
WHAT IS?
316
00:14:10,300 --> 00:14:11,934
GOING TOO FAR.
317
00:14:15,467 --> 00:14:17,367
LOOK...
318
00:14:17,367 --> 00:14:21,467
I INVITED YOU HERE
TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU...
319
00:14:21,467 --> 00:14:22,800
AND YOUR LIPS...
320
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:26,500
AND MAYBE LATER, YOUR COCK.
321
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,734
WHAT IS IT? DO I SCARE YOU?
322
00:14:30,734 --> 00:14:32,567
A LITTLE.
323
00:14:34,900 --> 00:14:37,367
I FEEL LIKE
YOU SEE RIGHT THROUGH ME.
324
00:14:37,367 --> 00:14:39,600
I JUST HAVE
INTENSE EYE CONTACT.
325
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:41,834
YOU HAVE INTENSE...
EVERYTHING.
326
00:14:41,834 --> 00:14:45,767
I'M TRYING TO WORK ON THAT.
327
00:14:45,767 --> 00:14:47,467
UM...
328
00:14:47,467 --> 00:14:49,467
I... (chuckles)
329
00:14:49,467 --> 00:14:52,600
I LIED TO YOU
THE OTHER NIGHT...
330
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,834
WHAT I SAID ABOUT YOUR LIPS.
331
00:14:54,834 --> 00:14:56,500
WHEN I THOUGHT ABOUT IT,
I...
332
00:14:56,500 --> 00:14:58,367
REALIZED MAYBE IT WAS ME.
333
00:14:58,367 --> 00:14:59,734
(knock on door)
334
00:14:59,734 --> 00:15:02,567
COME IN, RITA.
335
00:15:02,567 --> 00:15:05,667
I'M NOT TOO EARLY, AM I?
336
00:15:05,667 --> 00:15:06,867
YOU MUST BE MICHAEL.
337
00:15:06,867 --> 00:15:08,333
(door closes)
338
00:15:08,333 --> 00:15:11,700
I'M RITA.
339
00:15:11,700 --> 00:15:13,233
WHAT'S GOING ON?
340
00:15:13,233 --> 00:15:16,467
RITA'S AN OLD FRIEND.
341
00:15:16,467 --> 00:15:19,433
I INVITED HERE TO GIVE US
SOME PERSPECTIVE.
342
00:15:19,433 --> 00:15:21,266
YOU KNOW, LIKE I SAID,
343
00:15:21,266 --> 00:15:23,300
MAYBE IT WAS ME.
344
00:16:20,233 --> 00:16:23,734
(all grunting)
345
00:16:35,166 --> 00:16:36,867
OHH!
346
00:16:36,867 --> 00:16:39,834
(moaning)
347
00:16:44,767 --> 00:16:47,767
(all grunting)
348
00:17:20,467 --> 00:17:23,266
I STILL REMEMBER
THE EXACT MOMENT THAT I MET VIC
349
00:17:23,266 --> 00:17:24,700
AT THE AUTO SHOW.
350
00:17:24,700 --> 00:17:27,433
I WAS GESTURING
AT THE NEW LEXUS.
351
00:17:27,433 --> 00:17:29,266
NO.
352
00:17:29,266 --> 00:17:30,800
THAT WAS IT.
353
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,800
AND HE WALKS PAST
IN HIS SEXY FLIGHT JACKET,
354
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,400
AND HE LOOKS JUST LIKE
VAL KILMER OUT OF "TOP GUN,"
355
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:41,400
AND HE SEES ME AND HE SAYS,
"I THINK I LOVE YOU."
356
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:44,200
AND THEN HE KISSES ME.
357
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,233
AND I KISS HIM BACK.
358
00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:51,133
AND THEN I THINK, OH, GOD,
CHANTAL, WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?
359
00:17:51,133 --> 00:17:57,433
AND THEN I THOUGHT, DON'T STOP,
BECAUSE THIS IS THE REAL THING.
360
00:17:57,433 --> 00:17:59,533
YOU KNOW WHY?
361
00:17:59,533 --> 00:18:00,834
YOU CAN TELL
IF IT'S THE REAL THING
362
00:18:00,834 --> 00:18:03,567
BY THE WAY A MAN KISSES YOU,
363
00:18:03,567 --> 00:18:05,867
AND I WAS SO RIGHT.
364
00:18:05,867 --> 00:18:09,133
THAT'S REAL LOVE...
365
00:18:09,133 --> 00:18:14,266
AND VACATIONS AND EATING OUT
AT FABULOUS RESTAURANTS AND...
366
00:18:14,266 --> 00:18:17,500
JEWELRY... AND... (giggles)
367
00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:20,300
IT DOESN'T HURT THAT
VIC'S HUNG LIKE KING KONG.
368
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:21,633
(giggles)
369
00:18:21,633 --> 00:18:25,166
WHICH ONE
DO YOU LIKE BETTER,
370
00:18:25,166 --> 00:18:27,767
COUNTRY CLUB "A"
OR COUNTRY CLUB "B"?
371
00:18:27,767 --> 00:18:29,533
WHICHEVER ONE ADMITS JEWS.
372
00:18:29,533 --> 00:18:33,100
I'M SERIOUS. STOP BEING
SO CAVALIER AND SNARKY.
373
00:18:33,100 --> 00:18:35,500
I WAS BEING UNCARING
AND IRONIC.
374
00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:38,166
COME ON. I NEED A LOCATION
FOR PEMMIE'S SURPRISE PARTY.
375
00:18:38,166 --> 00:18:41,367
PEMMIE.
WHO NAMES A KID PEMBURG?
376
00:18:41,367 --> 00:18:43,467
PEMBURG IS A FAMILY NAME.
377
00:18:43,467 --> 00:18:45,100
WE WERE ON THE "MAYFLOWER."
378
00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:46,633
DID YOU HAVE SLAVES?
379
00:18:46,633 --> 00:18:48,867
ARE YOU GONNA HELP ME
OR NOT?
380
00:18:48,867 --> 00:18:50,767
THAT ONE.
REALLY?
381
00:18:50,767 --> 00:18:52,600
THE OTHER ONE.
WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?
382
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:55,567
IT'S A GODDAMN COUNTRY CLUB--
LOT OF WHITE-HAIRED GUYS
383
00:18:55,567 --> 00:19:00,400
WALKING AROUND IN PLAID PANTS
AND BOW TIES.
384
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,633
WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU,
MICHAEL?
385
00:19:02,633 --> 00:19:06,400
YOU ARE LIKE A DIFFERENT PERSON
SINCE THAT ACCIDENT.
386
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:10,133
I'M THAT CLOSE TO DEATH,
ALL BETS ARE OFF.
387
00:19:10,133 --> 00:19:12,867
IS THAT WHAT WE ARE--
A BET?
388
00:19:12,867 --> 00:19:17,300
(chuckles) BECAUSE
IF THAT'S WHAT WE ARE...
389
00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:19,266
♪
390
00:19:19,266 --> 00:19:21,200
WE'RE WINNING.
391
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:25,166
JUST REMEMBER, THERE'S NOTHING
THAT YOU CAN'T TELL ME.
392
00:19:25,166 --> 00:19:26,800
WE'RE ENGAGED.
393
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,300
(man) ♪ SHE TURNED AROUND ♪
394
00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:35,467
♪ AND I WAS HYPNOTIZED ♪
395
00:19:35,467 --> 00:19:37,166
MICHAEL,
THEY'RE PLAYING OUR SONG.
396
00:19:37,166 --> 00:19:38,500
OH, YEAH.
397
00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:40,333
♪ I WAS LOST... ♪
398
00:19:40,333 --> 00:19:41,867
DANCE WITH ME.
399
00:19:41,867 --> 00:19:44,834
COME ON. RIGHT HERE
IN THE STREET. LET'S DO IT.
400
00:19:44,834 --> 00:19:46,400
(laughs)
401
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:48,133
(giggles)
402
00:19:48,133 --> 00:19:49,734
OH, WE ARE INSANE.
403
00:19:49,734 --> 00:19:53,467
♪ TO ME ♪
404
00:19:53,467 --> 00:19:57,266
(both grunting,
animals roaring and screeching)
405
00:19:57,266 --> 00:20:00,600
♪ ...ETERNITY ♪
406
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,834
PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS.
407
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,133
YEAH, LOOKS LIKE OUR MAN.
LET'S GRAB HIM.
408
00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:20,567
THAT'S NO FUN.
LET'S JUST CHASE HIM A LITTLE.
409
00:20:20,567 --> 00:20:22,166
COME ON.
410
00:20:22,166 --> 00:20:24,433
NO. NO. I KNOW THAT LOOK.
OH, YOU'RE ON EDGE.
411
00:20:24,433 --> 00:20:26,767
PROMISE ME YOU'RE NOT GONNA GO
ALL CHARLIE SHEEN AGAIN.
412
00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:28,667
LAST THING YOU NEED
IS ANOTHER SUSPENSION.
413
00:20:28,667 --> 00:20:30,467
I'M JUST MESSING WITH YA.
414
00:20:30,467 --> 00:20:31,834
COME ON.
GIVE ME A LITTLE CREDIT.
415
00:20:31,834 --> 00:20:33,500
I CAN'T, ESPECIALLY WHEN
416
00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:35,266
YOUR BOYFRIEND HASN'T
CALLED YOU IN THREE DAYS.
417
00:20:35,266 --> 00:20:37,200
I HAVEN'T CALLED HIM EITHER,
418
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:40,567
AND HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND.
HE'S JUST A RANDOM CITIZEN.
419
00:20:40,567 --> 00:20:42,867
REALLY? I THOUGHT YOU TWO
WERE HOT AND HEAVY.
420
00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:44,400
NO BIG DEAL.
421
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:45,934
MM-HMM, FLASH HIM.
422
00:20:45,934 --> 00:20:49,400
(siren wails)
423
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:52,333
(brakes squeal)
424
00:20:52,333 --> 00:20:53,533
BE RIGHT BACK.
425
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,300
AAH! AAH!
426
00:21:02,300 --> 00:21:03,633
AFTERNOON, MOTHERFUCKER,
427
00:21:03,633 --> 00:21:05,400
AND WELCOME TO THE WORLD
OF LAW-ABIDING CITIZENS.
428
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:06,867
WHAT'S THIS ABOUT, OFFICER?
(handcuffs clicking)
429
00:21:06,867 --> 00:21:08,300
LITTLE THING WE LIKE TO CALL
BREAKING AND ENTERING.
430
00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:10,500
WHAT?!
YEAH.
431
00:21:15,533 --> 00:21:16,767
COMFY BACK THERE?
432
00:21:16,767 --> 00:21:18,433
VERY NICE, THANK YOU.
433
00:21:18,433 --> 00:21:21,567
LOOK, MAYBE YOU GUYS
ARE JUST TOO MUCH ALIKE.
434
00:21:21,567 --> 00:21:23,266
I MEAN, THE LAST PERSON YOU
WANNA GET IN THE RING WITH
435
00:21:23,266 --> 00:21:24,734
IS YOURSELF, RIGHT?
436
00:21:24,734 --> 00:21:27,200
REALLY? IS THAT
YOUR PSYCHOLOGY DEGREE
437
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:28,600
HANGING OVER THE REARVIEW,
PRESTON?
438
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:30,300
(laughs)
439
00:21:30,300 --> 00:21:32,533
MADAME, I AM AN ACUTE OBSERVER
OF THE HUMAN CONDITION,
440
00:21:32,533 --> 00:21:34,367
ESPECIALLY YOURS.
441
00:21:34,367 --> 00:21:37,867
ONE THING I KNOW ABOUT YOU,
LIZ--NOTHING YOU CAN'T SOLVE.
442
00:21:37,867 --> 00:21:41,400
UP UNTIL NOW.
443
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:42,900
THIS GUY REALLY GOT
TO YOU.
444
00:21:42,900 --> 00:21:45,166
AS MUCH AS I GOT TO HIM.
445
00:21:45,166 --> 00:21:48,367
ANYWAY, THERE'S OTHER FISH
IN THE SEA.
446
00:21:48,367 --> 00:21:50,867
OH, I BEG TO DIFFER.
SHUT UP BACK THERE.
447
00:21:50,867 --> 00:21:52,767
HEY, PELON, I KNOW
WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
448
00:21:52,767 --> 00:21:54,934
LEAVE ME ALONE. YOU SHOULD WRITE
THIS DOWN, SWEETHEART.
449
00:21:54,934 --> 00:21:56,433
YOU'RE FAR TOO PRETTY.
450
00:21:56,433 --> 00:22:00,166
LISTEN TO ME.
I DON'T GIVE A MAD FUCK
451
00:22:00,166 --> 00:22:02,500
WHAT KIND OF POLE OR BAIT
YOU USE,
452
00:22:02,500 --> 00:22:04,667
IF YOU'RE POOR
OR IF YOU'RE RICH.
453
00:22:04,667 --> 00:22:07,300
YOU'RE GONNA CATCH THE FISH
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO CATCH.
454
00:22:07,300 --> 00:22:11,400
¿ME ENTIENDES?
455
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:14,700
OH, LOAD NUMBER FIVE.
456
00:22:14,700 --> 00:22:19,433
OH, WHY MUST I ALWAYS GO
FOR THE FREAKY CHICKS?
457
00:22:19,433 --> 00:22:23,567
(woman) LUTHER!
THE STRAPS ARE TOO TIGHT.
458
00:22:23,567 --> 00:22:27,567
LOAD NUMBER SIX.
459
00:22:27,567 --> 00:22:30,800
(dog barking in distance)
460
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:43,367
MICHAEL?
461
00:24:13,467 --> 00:24:14,800
KISS ME.
462
00:24:16,734 --> 00:24:18,734
I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T LIKE
THE WAY I KISS.
463
00:24:18,734 --> 00:24:23,233
IT'S NOT THAT. IT'S JUST,
I WASN'T SURE YOU MEANT IT.
464
00:24:23,233 --> 00:24:25,166
I DIDN'T REALIZE
IT MATTERED TO YOU.
465
00:24:25,166 --> 00:24:26,567
I DIDN'T EITHER.
466
00:24:36,900 --> 00:24:38,400
MMM.
467
00:24:57,867 --> 00:25:18,600
♪
32254
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