All language subtitles for Brilliant.Minds.S02E07.1080p.10bit.WEBRip.6CH.x265.HEVC-PSA1

For millennia,
humans have wondered,

where does our sense of self
reside in the body?

Ancient Egyptians believed
the answer was in our hearts.

But the Greeks...

If you all wouldn't mind, um,
silencing your phones.

The Greeks believed
our self and identity

was formed in the brain.

However, in modern times,

the question remains unanswered.

I'm sorry, but whoever's
phone keeps going off,

be a champ and step out,
would you?

We don't hear anything.

What is this,
some kind of a prank?

No one hears that?

What is he talking about?

Seriously, what is that?

Where's it coming from?

Does the chief know you're
pocketing hospital supplies?

Uh, well, I certainly hope not,

'cause that guy is a real pain.

Listen, Wolf, I, um...

I wanted to say thank you
for all the care you've taken

with Jorge and his recovery.

Well, that is how it works,
Nichols.

You save them on the table
even when they fall 39 floors

to what should have been
certain death,

and I make sure

that they are set up for
recovery when they wake up.

I know you go above and beyond.

That is a frustrating thing
that you do.

But it means a lot to me
with this patient.

Does that mean
you trust my judgment now

and you'll give me free rein
of the neuro budget?

Maybe if I wasn't such a pain.

What was that?

The flirting, the looks,
the yearning.

You and the chief.

Interim chief.

And there's nothing to tell.

Wolf, how long
have we been working together?

Uh, not that long.

You know
I'm never gonna let this go.

- It was a fleeting dalliance.
- A situationship?

Never DTR'ed?

We're totally different people.

We didn't even get along
at first.

-Workplace enemies to lovers.
Classic.

Well, things were actually
going well at first

until life got complicated.

I stood him up
at his awards dinner.

You left that man
on his big night,

standing alone in a tux
in the rain?

I don't think it was raining.

You don't make it easy
on a guy, Wolf.

But now I need my dads together.

- No, no, no. He's chief.
- Interim chief.

And that didn't stop
your mother.

Mm. It's "Gay's Anatomy"
up in here,

and I am fully invested.

Sam, how have you been?

It feels like I'm caught
in this loop.

Every day is...

Every day is the same.
I wake up.

The clock starts again.

I've got 12 hours to figure out
where I'm gonna sleep next.

Shelters...

fill up quick.

I wander around the city,

pop in for a movie at the dollar
theater when the weather's bad.

I like the old ones
where they talk a lot.

It helps drown out the noise.

Well, when I need cash, I, uh...

I hustle chess at the park.

You know, it's not much,
but it gets me by.

And, then, um,
I do it all over again.

Being unhoused
can lock the brain

into a trauma response state.

It makes us feel trapped
in a survival-mode cycle.

It's my fault.

People don't trust me.

They...
They assume I'm an addict.

I make them uncomfortable.

You are a worthless!

Expendable.

You shouldn't be here.

I said get out!

Can you tell us more
about the voices?

It's like demons...

in my head.

What about medication?

-Uh, I think the E.D.
gave you Risperidone.

Mnh-mnh, mnh-mnh.

I don't like what they give me.

It turns me into something else.

A-A zombie.

I don't feel like me anymore.

Well, that's not uncommon.

It takes time

to find the medication
and the dosage

that works best for you.

And that's my job.

The emergency department's job
is to stabilize you

and to provide a hot and cot
for our psych patients.

It's good enough for me.

Well,
it's not good enough for us.

We can do better.

Sam has had 25 hospitalizations

since his first psychotic break
four years ago,

after he moved here
to attend NYU.

And exactly zero of those times
did he get a true workup

to see if any of his symptoms
were organic.

I thought he was diagnosed
with schizophrenia.

Yes, by some doctors.

Schizoaffective by others,
even bipolar.

Everybody always writes Sam off
because of his situation.

I actually didn't see
any presentation of mania

or any other signs
of an episode.

Schizophrenia is the
more probable diagnosis.

A psych diagnosis,
Dr. Kinney,

which after all these years
and how he's presented,

does seem
the most likely scenario here.

Which doesn't mean

that we can't figure out
a treatment

to help him better navigate
his life.

But there's probably no miracle
cure that's gonna "fix him."

I know that.

But Sam told us
he was ready to get help,

and he showed back up
for his first appointment.

I just think he deserves good,
genuine, unbiased care,

because his
is not the type of case

that people take an interest in.

So, then why the interest
from you, Dr. Kinney?

Because you taught us
that every patient matters.

And because you're the best
teacher I've ever had, Dr. Wolf.

And also you, Dr. Pierce.
- Mm-hmm.

Well, I cannot argue
with my own advice.

Go ahead and admit Sam.

I agree.

I know she takes after me,
but I'm not that...

relentlessly persistent, am I?

Mm.

I think, um...

it's time for the next step,

as in our relationship.

I was thinking that maybe
you could meet my friends.

- Okay.
- Yeah?

- Yeah.
- Alright.

Well, a group
of first responders and I

started a kickball league.

It's super casual.

We go to Flanagan's afterwards.

And there's a game tomorrow...

Uh...

count me in.

I've always been
a sandlot girly.

That's baseball.

- Right.
- Yeah.

Your next consult's
waiting inside, Dr. Wolf.

Chart's on the desk.
- Thank you.

-Hey there. I'm Dr. Wolf.
How are you doing today?

Already better
now that you're here.

Thank you for seeing me
on such short notice.

Well, why don't you tell me
what's going on?

-Um, well, I'm...
I'm experiencing, uh...

I don't even know
what to call it.

A song.

A song?

I keep hearing it sporadically,

one particular song.

It's like a radio
turning on and off in my head.

It's incredibly distracting.

I'm in the city for work,

and it's completely derailed
my trip.

What do you do?

I'm somewhat of a historian.

I specialize in the fringe
facets of medicine.

Oh. Did you know that mercury

was the primary treatment
of syphilis

for hundreds of years...

Before the discovery
of penicillin in the 1940s.

Uh, you haven't changed a bit.

I'm sorry?

You really don't recognize me,
Oliver?

Tom?

H-How are you here?

I happened to be in New York
and in need of a neurologist.

And your name...
Your name kept coming up.

I wasn't sure
if you'd remember me.

Well, of... of course.

I-I remember you.

Is it happening right now?

I need your help, Oliver.

And again, tell me where
the sound is the loudest.

The first position...

Or the second position?

The first one.

Okay.

I'm so glad you could see me,
Oliver.

I feel like I'm losing my mind.

Uh, and you were right
to come in.

I would like to admit you,
just to run some tests.

Uh, it's comforting to see
that some things never change.

You're still collecting rocks.

Oh. Not a rock, a mineral.

Lepidolite, to be specific.

It's actually one of the few

naturally occurring resources
of lithium. So...

Okay. Um, if you could tell me
a little bit about the song.

When you hear it,
are there other symptoms...

flashing lights
or muscle weakness, pain?

It's not exactly painful,

but there's like a pressure
that builds in my head.

I try to relieve it sometimes

by holding my nose
and blowing to pop my ears.

It... It seems to dampen
the effect a bit.

Can I ask what song is playing?

Maybe there's some significance.

Well, that's what's so funny.

Oliver knows it.

It's that song
from our summer together.

But what could it possibly mean?

It means
that he never forgot you

and that he's back
to rekindle the flame, honey.

It was 30 years ago.

"Oh! I still can't believe
that Tom is here."

Okay. I honestly thought
that you made him up,

like a Canadian boyfriend
no one ever meets.

He wasn't a boyfriend at all,
Canadian or otherwise.

It was one summer.

We shared one kiss.

One magical summer...

and one clearly memorable kiss.

And I love the idea
of you dating again.

I mean, I sometimes worry

that you don't think that you're
relationship material,

but you are.
- "Relationship material"?

Carol, please don't mock me.

I'm not. I'm being serious.

I mean, I thought you and Josh

were kind of circling something
again, but...

-Why do you say that?
Did he say something?

Is there something
you want to say?

Well, don't you think
that my relationship with Josh

proves that I'm not
relationship material?

I messed everything up.

So unmess it up, then.

I don't know how to do that.

But I do know neurology,

so perhaps we could focus
on that

instead of my love life.

If we must.

Tom's case
is exceedingly unique.

Although music is obviously such
a powerful force in our psyche,

in his case, it's hard to know

whether it's organic
or purely psychological.

Maybe seeing you again

is triggering him
to hear your song.

This isn't
a bad romantic comedy, Carol.

He heard the song
before he came in.

The song is incidental.

I'm worried it might be
symptomatic of a tumor

or AVM maybe.

Auditory hallucinations
can accompany

all sorts of psych diagnoses.

Um, do you have any ideas
about his mental-health history?

I haven't seen him in decades.

I don't know who he is at all.

Well, maybe this is an
opportunity to get to know him.

I'm gonna get to know his brain,

starting with labs,
a CT, and an EEG

to get a sense
of what's going on in there

when that song is playing.

Well, maybe the machine

will spit out a picture
of the two of you.

We're supposed
to tell our patients

that they're gonna feel
a slight pinch,

but it's more like
a jellyfish sting.

We're gonna need you
to stay completely still.

I-I can handle a little pain.

Okay. We've numbed the area
with local anesthetic,

so you're gonna feel
some slight pressure.

You're a waste of space!

You are weak.

You're expendable.

- poison me!
This is how they get you.

They're after your mind!

They'll make things worse!

This is how you die!

Sam, you got to remain still.

I think I hit a nerve.

We can't continue with him
in this state.

For patients with schizophrenia,
sedatives can help.

No! He doesn't want the drugs.

So, then,
this procedure is over.

-It's okay. It's okay, Sam.
It's okay.

I... It's okay. You're okay.

- Here. We got you.
- You're okay, you're okay.

I finally got approval
to do a workup on Sam,

but it's basically impossible
to stick a needle in his spine

without the voices
in his head yelling.

-Mm. LP fail.
We've all been there, right?

- Spinal tap queen.
- I haven't.

How about I work on Sam

and you go play kickball
with Katie and her friends?

-Come on.
Sports plus strangers

equals peak Dana Dang
social anxiety.

Unless...

You'd like to come with.

No. No, no.

I'm sorry. It's a ticking clock.

I don't know how much longer

will be able to keep Sam
in the hospital.

Yeah, but what about the voices
in my head...

the one saying "They're all
gonna laugh at you"?

Oh, my God. Dana, that's it.

I told Sam
to ignore the hallucinations,

but how can I expect him
to do that

if I don't know
what he's hearing?

If I want to get Sam
to trust me,

I have to find out
what they're saying.

So glad my deeply rooted
insecurities helped someone.

I'll go with him.

I mean, fair warning, though,
I get a little competitive.

-Really?
You'd play kickball for me?

Yeah. Used to be my game
back in middle school.

Those bitches won't know
what hit him.

-Okay.
Maybe don't call him bitches.

Mmm.

Slow your roll, Bobby Fischer.

Work our way to the knight.

If the board was a battlefield,
pawns were...

Sorry.

Pawns are, uh,
the least powerful pieces.

Sam, what did you hear just now?

Sometimes
it's like, uh, it feels like

10 different radio stations on
at the same time.

Chess helps me, uh,
shut them up.

Can I ask
what the voices are saying?

It's not really easy to tell.

Unless it's Lawrence.

He's the loudmouth.

Right now
he's saying I'm the pawn...

I'm weak...

expendable,

waste of space.

He said there was no point
in doing the test,

because if I died,

nobody would miss me.

I-I know it's not real.

But, uh...

You hear the same voice
long enough,

you start to believe it.

Lawrence...

hi.

Listen carefully.

You're wrong.

Sam isn't weak at all.

He is brave.

He is brave to be here
right now.

He is brave to get help.

And if anything
were to happen to him...

I would miss him.

Maybe, uh,
we could try the test again.

You got it.

And I might have a way
to get you through it this time.

You know what song
lives rent-free in my head?

"Golden" from "KPop Demon..."
- "KPop Demon Hunters."

Oh, I'm obsessed.

I like him!

Tom, uh,
why don't you get comfortable,

and the moment
you hear the song,

let us know.
- Well, it may take a while.

I'm not sure
what triggers the episodes.

-Darn.
How will we pass the time?

Ooh, I know.
Dishing about Dr. Wolf.

Tell me, Tom,
what was he like in his youth?

Sorry.

Um, smart, a bit intense.

Handsome, but didn't know it.

Woefully ignorant
of popular culture.

When I finally did get him
to open up,

it felt like I'd solved
the Riemann hypothesis.

Weird.

He's totally an open book now.

What's happening?

The song is actually a seizure.

And it's frying his brain.

Dr. Wolf, he's lucky
he hasn't dropped dead.

I'm having seizures?

Well, shouldn't I be aware
of that?

Uh, not all seizures
are the same.

In your case, the ictal event

manifests as this song
in your head.

Each time you hear the song,
it represents another seizure.

We call it
musical hallucinations.

Most musical hallucinations
stem from psychiatric issues.

It's actually quite rare for
seizures to present this way.

If I've been having
uncontrolled seizures for days,

I'm at risk of brain damage,
at the very least.

It's true the frequency
of your seizures is extreme,

but you did get here in time,

and we'll continue
to monitor you closely.

And we'll start you
on an anticonvulsant right away,

if that's the course
of treatment you agree to.

We can try you
on various medications

until we find the right one
to help suppress the seizures.

We're gonna get this
under control, Tom.

Thank you.

I knew I needed you.

On your way
to Dr. Nichols' office?

Yes...

for a patient consult.

Oh, consulting
about the cute Brit in 311

who I hear is also your ex?

I didn't know,
you got around like that, Wolf.

But clearly
this is an opportunity.

Um... I don't follow.

Hey, if I wanted to make
my ex jealous,

I might let them know
that my other ex

had specifically come to me
about his seizures,

especially if they're hot
British seizures.

But that's just me.

Yes, that is just you,
because I would never.

Okay.

You have time for a consult?

What's up?

Patient
with musical hallucinations

presenting as seizures.

EEG reveals
left temporal lobe epilepsy.

Musical epilepsy?

Oh, interesting.

Temporal lobe localized events
have been known

to activate musical memory
traces in the cortex.

How often are the seizures?
- Frequent.

Are they responding
to medication?

I started him on levetiracetam,

but I thought maybe
you'd want to meet him,

because this could be
a once-in-a-lifetime case.

Yeah, sure.

I should let you know,

because I don't want it
to be awkward

that the patient is my ex.

Right this way, sir.

What is going on?

Welcome to the LP Theater!

You did this just for me?

Studies have shown that
a relaxing activity like a movie

can help decrease the intensity
of the voices you're hearing.

An old classic.

Lots of talking.

And after the procedure,
we'll open up the snack bar.

Popcorn, chocolate, gummy bears.

- You got any sour punch straws?
- Mm...

all you can eat.

Shall we head
to your front-row seat?

Oh, Tom.

Uh, this is...

Dr. Nichols,
our head of neurosurgery.

And Chief Medical Officer.

And that.

Pleasure.

Uh, sorry for the state
of undress when you walked in.

I just had to freshen up
after all those tests.

Though I suppose it's nothing
Oliver hasn't seen before.

Right. Wolf, uh, mentioned
you two used to date.

It was just, uh, one kiss
ages ago.

- One... One kiss.
- One... One kiss ages ago.

But it left
quite the impression.

We have a code blue in 311!

Alright. It's alright.

I got you.

He's having progressive
temporal lobe seizures.

Draw 1 milligram of Ativan,
stat. Tom?

Tom, Tom!

Hey, I need you to listen to me.

Stop!
You're gonna hurt yourself.

Wolf, his ear.

That was a life-threatening
tonic clonic seizure.

Normally,
I would keep trying meds.

But this ictal event
was clearly an escalation.

Surgery has to be on the table.

I know this is presenting
primarily

as a musical hallucination,
but...

The next time
he hears that song,

it might be the last thing
he ever hears.

Unfortunately, your brain
is not responding

to any of the medications
we've tried,

and it appears your seizures
are getting worse.

We think you have
drug-resistant epilepsy,

meaning the normal course
of medication won't work.

One of the avenues
we'd like to explore

is a resection
of the temporal lobe

that's causing the seizures
to occur.

- Brain surgery?
- With seizures that intense,

the risk
of permanent brain injury

or worse is high.

Yeah, we're not rushing
straight to surgery.

We will perform something
called a Wada test.

Where you shut down
each side of the brain

to figure out
where language and memory

are primarily stored?

We know the source
of your seizures

is the left temporal lobe.

We need to see
how tied to these functions

that area is
in your particular brain.

- Dad, Dad, Dad!
- Guys!

Oh!
- I am so sorry.

We got here as fast as we could.

I can't believe this!
- I know.

This must be his good friend.

Where are my manners?

I'm Rashid, Tom's husband.

-Dang! Get over here!
Come loosen up!

Don't you pulling a hammie.

I'm loose.

Loosey freaking Liu!

Hey, I'm so glad you're here.

- Sure.
- Okay. Come on.

Alright, everybody!

Bring it in to pick teams.

Everybody, come on!

Andy and I are captains.

Alright. For my first choice,

I am going with a sure bet.

They are quick, funny,
brilliant with a pen light

and on a six-game hot streak...

Lex!

Lex!

To be clear...

my hot streak
isn't just confined to kickball.

Alright, you're up.

It's all negative.

The imaging, the LP.

Dr. Wolf confirmed
there is nothing here.

Just false hope.

I disagree.

You got Sam a true diagnosis.

Yeah. And for what?

Now I'm just gonna send him
out in the world

so he can keep reliving
that same day,

to keep reliving
that same trauma?

How is that helping him?

It may not be the outcome
you wanted,

but people live
with schizophrenia every day.

You got Sam to trust you.

He's willing to do the work.

Now you have to trust him

to manage
his own life and treatment.

I just wish it didn't
have to be so hard for him.

You can't wave a wand

and make someone's life
magically different.

You can't erase the past.

Healing takes time

and work

and acknowledging reality.

And sometimes
that's as difficult for doctors

as it is for their patients.

Hey, Van, do you think I could
get your help with a patient?

Actually,
I need Michelle's help.

Call me back.

Hey, good job.

You good?

I can't believe she didn't
even pick me for her team.

Don't worry about it.

Oh...

Hey, y-you think Katie
dated her?

I think she dated them.

Who... Lex?

No, like all of them,

like the entire infield.

Oh!

Alright. Bring it in shallow.

You got it, coach.

Come on, Dana! You got this!

Show them who's boss! Let's go!

Whoo! Yes!

-Alright. No, no, no.
Don't get up.

Head support, please.

So sorry.

Oh, uh, you okay?

The Wada test found
that in your case,

language and memory
come from both

temporal lobes in your brain.

The risk would be lower if they
came from the opposite side

of the temporal lobe
causing seizures.

And much greater

if they're primarily stored
on the same side.

I understand.

So, it's somewhere
in the middle?

So, what do we do?

In this particular case,

given how aggressive
your episodes are,

I believe the risk of surgery
is worth it.

A temporal lobotomy
will likely cure

or markedly diminish
your seizures.

But there are risks...
stroke, paralysis, infections,

and, in extreme cases,
difficulties with language,

possible loss of old memories,

and the inability
to form new ones.

So, I-I could wake up
with amnesia.

I-I could forget my family,
my friends, my past.

I have done this procedure
hundreds of times,

and I'm not boasting when I say

that you will be
in the very best hands.

Ever since this started,
it has warped my brain.

To maybe lose my memory,

to forget the people
that I love,

to forget...

I just... I just don't know.

I heard you've opted
to reject the surgery.

May I ask why?

Because I don't want to stop
hearing the song.

Tom, the song isn't important.

These seizures are serious...
life-threatening.

Maybe they're happening
for a reason.

Since I started hearing it,

I've been transported back
to our time together.

More than just the memory.

The feeling.

As intense
as it was all those years ago.

Do you remember, Oliver?

I do. Of course I do.

It's like going back
to a simpler time

when everything was
just... possibility.

Will you go somewhere with me?

Hey. Good news.

Michelle found a place
that'll hold a bed for Sam.

It'll cost him
to get the bus out there,

but I gave her your number,

and she's going to call you
with the details.

Oh, amazing!

Really going all out
for this patient,

Yeah, well, I mean,
you know how I am.

Thank you so much for this, Van.

Um, could I ask just a favor
in return?

Yeah.

Um, it's a little awkward,

and it might not even come up,

but if it does, uh,

could you just tell Michelle

that there's nothing
between us anymore?

-Yeah. Of course.
I mean, it's true.

Are you guys back together?

Uh, we haven't had, like,
the official conversation yet,

but, uh, yeah, we are.

That sounds really nice.

You deserve it.

Things are working out
for both of us.

I mean, look at you being
all super-doctor.

You're gonna end up
out-Wolfing Wolf.

Except, like, the actual
functional human version.

Sports just aren't my thing.

Well, neither
is making an effort

to get along with my friends,
apparently.

It was a lot, okay?

All the butt slaps
and the side eyes.

And what is with
all of the chanting?

Organized sports are
literally a cult.

Okay. It can be a lot.

I guess I could have given
you a heads up.

I'm sorry.

My friends are a little bit
easier to get along with is all.

Easy? Or judgmental?

The way that Ericka reacted
when you told her

it was you who reported
Dr. Pierce...

I was the one that lied to her.

And since when
do you not like Ericka?

It's not that I don't like her.

No one's that perfect.

There's something off about her.

Sam, we've reviewed
your paperwork,

and there is no evidence
of any structural abnormality.

You are physically
perfectly healthy.

What you're struggling with
is psychiatric.

Yeah.

I honestly can't say
I'm surprised.

Thanks for trying, though.

I guess this means I gotta go.

We do have to discharge you.

But that's not the end
of your care.

Beginning tomorrow,

I'd like to see you
three times a week,

with the goal...
if you're comfortable...

of starting you
on a low-dose neuroleptic.

- That's...
- Not all meds are the same.

And with therapy,

we can find
non-medical interventions

that will help you
better live with the voices.

How does that sound?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Uh, think I can grab
a few things for the road?

You're... You're not gonna
reuse this, huh?

No, it's... it's all yours.

Dr. Kinney will work with you
on discharge,

and I look forward to seeing
you tomorrow.

- Cool. Appreciate it.
- Thanks, Dr. Pierce.

I called in a couple
favors myself.

Got you a stay
in a temporary housing facility.

And not just for one night.

We'll have to reapply weekly,

but you are all set up
for the first week.

This folder has everything
you need.

Intake forms, letter of referral
from the hospital,

and the name of your contact
there.

The only downside is that it's
all the way out in Queens,

so you'll need money
to get there.

Here.
- What?

- Take this.
- No.

No, no, that's...
that's too much.

I'm not...
I'm not taking your credit card.

Yes, you can,

because I know you'll be
back here tomorrow.

You trusted me enough to stay.

I trust you, too.

Thank you.

Thanks. Thank you.

This is
where we came that summer.

Some things never change,
even in 30 years.

Especially in New York.

Well, I think we Brits
have you beat

on getting mired in history.

Indeed, I've made a whole career
out of it.

Yes.

You are a world-wide
guest-lecturing historian.

You've married a lovely man
and have two beautiful children.

Ah, I see now.

This was "trying to change
my mind" ice cream.

No.

It's true, Tom.

You're not who you were
back then.

Neither am I.

You've become a smart
and handsome doctor.

Just as I always knew you would.

You don't know me, Tom.

Not who I am now.

You remember I told you about
how my father died?

- Yes.
- Well, it turns out he didn't.

With his bipolar disorder,
he and my mom

thought it was best
that he not be in my life,

so they devised the lie
that he died.

- My God.
- He disappeared for 30 years.

And then he turned up
out of nowhere.

Just as I was ready
to reconnect,

he left a note
and disappeared again.

Are you alright?

I'm not telling you this
for sympathy, Tom.

I'm telling you this
because those simpler times,

they don't exist.

They can't exist again
for any of us.

We don't get to go back
into the past.

Life changes us.

And that is not a bad thing,
but it is life.

The only option we have
is to move forward.

So move forward.

Did you take some of my pills?

What?

I haven't needed these
in a while,

but I was in my head
about Katie and kickball,

and, uh,

I know how many
I'm supposed to have left.

What is going on?
- What?

What do you want me to say?

Yes. I took a couple
of your pills.

I just needed them
until I could...

Until... Until what?

After all the crap
that you gave me

about needing meds
and reporting Dr. Pierce,

and now you're, what,
just casually popping benzos?

Do you have any idea
how dangerous that is?

I am not casually doing
anything.

I mean, do you think
this is fun for me?

Do you think I want to be
like this?

I have no idea
what you're doing,

because apparently you've
been lying to me for months.

-Okay, fine.
You want the truth?

The truth is that I am a mess.

I, uh, went to that wellness
retreat

in Mexico to feel better,
and, uh,

I couldn't even
manage to do that right.

And so, I ended up with
200mg of benzos in my suitcase.

- Oh, Ericka.
- Yeah,

I-I, um, I let Celia die.

I, uh, I got out first,
and I watched her die.

And that... that was supposed
to be me.

And I'm... I'm supposed to be
moving on,

and I'm supposed to be good,
and I'm supposed to be smart,

and I'm supposed
to be a good doctor,

and I am supposed
to keep it together,

and I am supposed to
figure it out,

- and I just... I...
- No, no, no. No!

Okay. Okay.

Okay.

Shh!

I don't know
what's wrong with me.

Okay. Okay. Come here.

Tom?

You made it through the surgery.

Dr. Nicholas is very pleased
with the result.

I, uh, I don't think we've met.

Oliver Wolf,

there's no way
I could ever forget you.

We... We've talked about this,
but we can't...

Oliver,

I don't hear the song anymore.

Well, I should hope not.

That was the point
of the surgery.

I'm so grateful
you got me through this.

Because I love my life.

I love my family.
I love Rashid.

But old friends are nice, too.

Maybe that's why this happened.

And I might have made that fit
surgeon a bit jealous, hmm?

Dr. Nichols?

Oh, don't pretend
to be surprised.

You're very bad at it.

And I know I'm right.

Well, if I'm being honest,
I wouldn't mind it if you were.

Whatever's happened
in your life.

I always knew you would go on

to do the
most extraordinary things.

And here you are.

We all have voices in our head.

Voices of the people
who shaped us.

Did Sam show back up
for his appointment?

Mnh-mnh.

There's always tomorrow.

It's never too late
to seek help.

- Yep.
- There's always tomorrow.

Mm-hmm.

Voices that tell us
we're not good enough,

no matter how hard we try.

Wolf, hey.

Uh, I just wanted to say
thank you

for what you did for Tom.

I've been told
that's how it works.

I know Tom means something
to you.

I was glad I could help.
- Uh...

well, he meant something
to me a long time ago,

but I've been thinking about
what I want for the future.

And I've been thinking about how
it felt when we were together.

And I would like to try again.

- I... Wolf...
- I mean,

if it's the chief thing,
I get it.

But I think we can work
around that,

and it's worth.
- It's not that.

It's, um...

I'm seeing someone, Oliver.

Who?

Oh.
- I was with him before us.

We recently reconnected,

and I've been
meaning to tell you.

But I didn't know how,

and it just happened.

Um, it's, um... easy.
You know?

Easy? Right. Um...

I don'tknow...

because I'm me.

But that sounds good.

- I'm sorry to...
- No, no, no.

It's okay.

You should be happy, Josh.

And then there are the voices
that tell us

we don't deserve to be loved.

I can understand how you feel.

You understand how I feel?

How long was it we had, honey?

- I didn't count the days.
- Well, I did every one of them.

Mostly I remember the last one.

The wow finish.

I was adopted.

I don't know that much
about my birth mother.

But I know that she had
schizophrenia.

She couldn't...

No one could help her.

She just got lost.

Some of us don't get to be easy.

I know that can feel
like it'll always be a curse.

But I promise sometimes
it's a gift.

Greg, move your head.