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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,003 [♪ theme music playing] 2 00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:22,940 [Tina] Okay. [sighs] The package is supposed to come today. 3 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,274 Then the nightmare will be over 4 00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:25,943 and all mistakes will be erased. 5 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,027 Thank you, Grandma, 6 00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:28,820 for that just-barely generous-enough gift card 7 00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:30,155 that made this purchase possible. 8 00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:31,907 And when it gets here, we'll open the box, 9 00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:33,158 take out the porcelain baby 10 00:00:33,242 --> 00:00:34,535 with its butt flap unbuttoned... 11 00:00:34,618 --> 00:00:36,495 -Little Baby Butt Flap. -...and we'll sneakily put it 12 00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:38,622 with all the other porcelain babies on Mom's dresser. 13 00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:40,666 And no one ever needs to know we accidentally broke it. 14 00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:42,376 Whoa, whoa, whoa. "We" broke it? 15 00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:43,585 Okay, technically, I broke it. 16 00:00:43,669 --> 00:00:44,795 But... But they can't find out. 17 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:47,130 Look, I finally convinced Mom and Dad to raise 18 00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:49,800 my hourly babysitting rate to a cool five dollars. 19 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:50,884 And if I have to tell them 20 00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:52,386 that on my first official night, 21 00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:54,263 as a five-dollar-an-hour babysitter, 22 00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:56,723 I broke one of Mom's top-tier porcelain babies, 23 00:00:56,807 --> 00:00:58,558 I can kiss that sweet raise goodbye. 24 00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:00,686 Also, you guys went into Mom and Dad's room first. 25 00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:03,480 We... We're not supposed to play in there, so it's all of our faults. 26 00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:04,564 Really? 27 00:01:04,648 --> 00:01:06,525 -Boobie battle! -Hiyah! 28 00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:08,110 [both] Boom, boom, boom, boom. 29 00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:09,570 What the heck is going on in here? 30 00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:11,238 -Boobie battle. -Obviously. 31 00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:13,782 -We're just doing what grown-up women do. -Yeah. 32 00:01:13,865 --> 00:01:16,118 I'm a highly-paid professional babysitter now. 33 00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:17,202 Here we go. 34 00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:19,037 And Mom and Dad aren't shelling out an Abey Linky, 35 00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:20,789 or five Georgey Washies an hour 36 00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:23,500 for me to let you two come in here and mess with Mom's bras. 37 00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:24,918 They're paying me to be responsible... 38 00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:27,045 -[thuds] -...dependable, and... Ah! 39 00:01:27,129 --> 00:01:28,463 Phew! It didn't break. 40 00:01:28,547 --> 00:01:30,882 That could've been... Ah! Whoa! [yelps] Ah! 41 00:01:30,966 --> 00:01:32,968 [sighs] This carpet is saving my day. 42 00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:34,052 [shatters] 43 00:01:34,136 --> 00:01:35,429 -[♪ tense music playing] -Oh, my God! 44 00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:36,930 -You broke the baby! -Whoa, ho, ho, ho! 45 00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:38,265 [Tina hyperventilating] 46 00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:40,601 Sorry, go on about being responsible. 47 00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:43,520 The important thing is the replacement baby is coming today. 48 00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:45,355 We just gotta stay cool for the next few hours, 49 00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:46,940 and keep praying that Mom doesn't notice 50 00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:48,483 that Little Baby Butt Flap is missing. 51 00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:50,902 Would it help if I lower my butt flap to distract her? 52 00:01:50,986 --> 00:01:52,237 Maybe. Ow! 53 00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:54,865 Ugh! Stupid freakin' extra tooth. 54 00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,199 I still can't believe it. 55 00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:58,076 My sister has an extra tooth. 56 00:01:58,160 --> 00:01:59,828 It's like I'm related to a shark, 57 00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:01,330 but without all the drama. 58 00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:04,166 [sighs] I guess I'm glad Dr. Yap is taking it out today. 59 00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:06,001 Turned into an angry little thing. 60 00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:07,419 How are you gonna trick yourself outta 61 00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:09,171 your paralyzing fear of the dentist this time? 62 00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:12,299 Equalizer? You're Denzel? Your tooth needs equalizing? 63 00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:14,217 I was thinking, maybe I'm CIA, 64 00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:16,261 and the tooth is a tiny unstable nuke, 65 00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:18,305 planted there by a Russian triple agent. 66 00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:21,141 -That works. -[Linda] Louise! Dentist time. 67 00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:23,602 Coming! Also, I'm not Louise. 68 00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:25,812 I'm Special Agent Hammerknife. 69 00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:29,608 All right, well, the spy plane is leaving, Agent Hammertime. 70 00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:31,193 -[doorbell chiming] -Hey, Teddy. 71 00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:33,362 Hey, Bob. Just stoppin' by real quick for a coffee 72 00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:35,614 before I go pick up Kathleen's mom at the airport. 73 00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,074 She's flying in from Ireland, 74 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,825 'cause she's Irish, like Kathleen. 75 00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:40,327 I... I guess it runs in the family. 76 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,079 Well, why can't Kathleen pick her up? 77 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,372 She's at a bachelorette party. 78 00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:44,790 It's at a cabin in the mountains. 79 00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,124 It was supposed to end this morning, 80 00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:47,918 but the bride-to-be got cold feet. 81 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,461 She got frostbite snowshoeing. 82 00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:50,712 Oh, is she okay? 83 00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:52,798 Yeah, but Kathleen has to drive her to the hospital. 84 00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:54,174 -Chuck a look. -[Bob] Hmm. 85 00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:55,759 Yeah, the friend's a handful. 86 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,761 But, anyway, now I gotta pick up Kathleen's mom. 87 00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,888 I'm gonna bring her back here, get her some lunch, 88 00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:01,390 then Kathleen will meet up with us. 89 00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:03,058 Do little Irish ladies like to eat burgers? 90 00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:04,768 -I think so. -Can you look it up? 91 00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,269 -No. -Do you have stew? 92 00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:08,480 -Beef stew? -No, we... we don't, Teddy. 93 00:03:08,563 --> 00:03:09,940 We've never had beef stew. 94 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,942 I think you just put a burger in water, right? 95 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,277 -No, that's not how-- -I'm actually pretty nervous. 96 00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:16,905 -I can tell. -Kathleen says her mom can be tough. 97 00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:18,323 But I really want her to like me. 98 00:03:18,407 --> 00:03:21,284 She says I'll be okay, as long as I tell her mom I'm Catholic. 99 00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:22,619 -Early and often. -Smart. 100 00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:24,996 -Is this crucifix too big? -It... It's a little big. 101 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:26,540 -It's heavy. -It looks heavy. 102 00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:27,833 Ooh, I better head out. 103 00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:28,917 Can I get the coffee to go? 104 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,628 Sure. Oh. You're taking the... Oh, no. 105 00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:33,213 -Okay. -Oh, God. It's spilling everywhere. 106 00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:34,673 Teddy, we have to-go cups. 107 00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:35,757 You're taking the-- 108 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,634 You might wanna think about getting better ones. 109 00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:38,885 This is basically just a mug. 110 00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:41,888 Hey! There she is. 111 00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:43,348 -How's the patient? -Good. 112 00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:44,558 The nuke was disarmed, 113 00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:47,102 and she now has the exact right number of teeth, 114 00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:49,688 and they're in the right places, or close enough. 115 00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:53,358 As you know, I gave her a little extra happy-time medicine, 116 00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:54,943 since she's a bit of a nervous patient. 117 00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:56,027 Sure. Right. 118 00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:58,447 -Papa? -Yeah, she's blitzed. 119 00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,157 It might last a couple of hours. 120 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,617 Well, let's get this little loopy Lou home. 121 00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:05,036 [chuckles] Right after you cover that co-pay. 122 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,955 Co-pay? Like, we both pay? 123 00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:09,207 Just kidding. I got this one you get the next one. 124 00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:10,500 -Ha! -Ha. 125 00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,462 Hey, so, super normal question. 126 00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:15,130 When does the mail come these days? 127 00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:18,633 Oh, uh. I guess Mike usually comes in the afternoon. 128 00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:19,801 Cool, cool, cool. 129 00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:21,970 Uh, so, like, what time? 3:00? 4:00? 2:15? 130 00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:23,430 All of those are in the afternoon, Dad. 131 00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:24,765 -Easy, Tina. -Sorry. 132 00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:26,183 Are you expecting something? 133 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,267 Uh, yeah. 134 00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:29,978 A really important box of pencils. 135 00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:31,438 -You ordered pencils? -Yeah. 136 00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:33,815 You know, long, yellow, pointy things? Eraser at the end. 137 00:04:33,899 --> 00:04:35,233 Kind of like a not-so-confident pen? 138 00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:36,359 -Pencils! -Okay. 139 00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:37,903 -[doorbell chiming] -Hey, everyone. 140 00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:39,780 Look who's on her feet and has less teeth? 141 00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:43,116 She's talking about me, my people! 142 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,368 Hey, Louise. How are you doing? 143 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:49,206 Honestly, I feel like how you wanna look. 144 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:52,584 -[Bob] Hmm. -[lisping] Hey, these stools, so rad. 145 00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:57,672 Yeah, I went there. We gotta be able to talk. You know? 146 00:04:57,756 --> 00:04:58,965 So, as you can see, 147 00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:01,843 the anesthesia made Louise loopy as a Hula-Hoop. 148 00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:03,762 Dr. Yap said that's normal. 149 00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:05,847 He said she might say a bunch of crazy stuff. 150 00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:06,973 A little bit unfiltered. 151 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:09,100 Yap said that sometimes it's like a truth serum. 152 00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:11,144 -A truth serum? -[Linda] Yeah. 153 00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:13,897 He said, "One kid confessed to wiping boogers on the cat." 154 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,190 It wasn't even his cat. 155 00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:18,193 Just some cat that was in the wrong place at the wrong time. 156 00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:20,654 -How long till it wears off? -A couple hours. 157 00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:24,366 Tina, Gene, my favorite little chimichangas. 158 00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:25,951 I just wanna pinch your cheeks. 159 00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:27,828 So squishy. 160 00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:29,037 -Ow! -That's forceful. 161 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:30,705 And, sir, full disclosure. 162 00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:32,374 My brother's farted in that booth 163 00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:34,167 probably, like, 80 times. 164 00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:36,378 -[Bob] Oh, uh... -[Linda chuckles nervously] 165 00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:38,547 He says the acoustics are better there. 166 00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,423 -Just thought you should know. -Okay. 167 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,676 Let's get this little patient upstairs, huh? 168 00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:45,136 -Yeah, good idea. -She's on drugs. We don't fart. 169 00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:46,429 Except when we do drugs. 170 00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:48,557 -I'm so sorry about our children. -[doorbell chiming] 171 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:49,891 -[door closes] -We... We tried. 172 00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:51,768 Truth serum? We have a problem. 173 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,186 Louise is gonna spill the beans. 174 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:54,938 What beans? Sounds delicious. 175 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,314 The porcelain-baby beans. 176 00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:57,941 -Oh, right. -We gotta get up there. 177 00:05:58,024 --> 00:05:59,234 We gotta be by Louise's side 178 00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:00,610 until that anesthesia wears off. 179 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,529 I mean, more of a "you" situation? 180 00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:04,364 Oh, no. I wasn't the only one who broke 181 00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:06,575 Mom's don't-go-in-my-room rule, Boobie Battler. 182 00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:08,618 Fine. And it's Sir Boobie Battler. 183 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:09,911 I was recently knighted 184 00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:11,830 by the bazoombas of the round table. 185 00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:14,416 Hey, Dad, we're just gonna go upstairs real quick for a long time, 186 00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:16,459 and help Mom set up things for Louise, okay? 187 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,086 Did you say, "for a long time"? 188 00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:20,255 -[Tina] Great, thanks, bye. -[Gene] Love you, Father. 189 00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:21,798 Big fan! 190 00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:27,178 [Linda] There we go. Snug as a bug on drugs. 191 00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:30,223 Oh, I don't have any cash. Am I supposed to tip you? 192 00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:32,142 We'll settle up at the end of the day. 193 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:33,476 -Knock, knock! -Who's there? 194 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,354 Nice-people-who-are-here to-take-care of-their-sister who? 195 00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:37,689 I'm not sure we did that right. 196 00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:40,483 [tuts] Aw, that's very sweet, but I got this, kids. 197 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,736 You two should help your father in the restaurant. 198 00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:46,031 I really think we should be up here, during Louise's time of need. 199 00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:47,490 Mom, let 'em stay. 200 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:48,658 They amuse me. 201 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,744 Like, Tina here. I mean look at her. 202 00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:53,705 -See? -[tuts] Okay, fine., 203 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:55,832 I guess you two can stick around for a bit. 204 00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:56,958 You must be thirsty. 205 00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:58,293 I'm gonna get you a glass of water. 206 00:06:58,376 --> 00:07:00,086 The good water. I'll be right back. 207 00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:01,755 Gettin' me a glass of water! 208 00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:03,882 Man, that's service. 209 00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:06,676 Mom, did you know, one time I put a water balloon 210 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,970 in the sun visor of Mr. Frond's car? 211 00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:10,555 -[Tina gasps] -Am I a genius? 212 00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:11,640 -[Gene yelps] -Mom! 213 00:07:11,723 --> 00:07:13,350 She's spewing out secrets left and right. 214 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:14,934 She's the one who put the water balloon 215 00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:16,603 in the visor of Mr. Frond's car? 216 00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:18,229 I wanna ask her for an autograph. 217 00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:20,023 We gotta make sure the conversation stays away 218 00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,067 from babies, or broken things, or babysitting. 219 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:23,902 What else is there? Gas prices? 220 00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:27,030 What would really help is if we could just keep Mom away from Louise entirely. 221 00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:29,699 Is there a fun microbrewery tour we could take Mom on? 222 00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:32,994 Hey, hey! Who's high as a kite and ready to be hydrated? 223 00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:34,079 [Louise] Me! 224 00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:35,789 Uh, could you, maybe, go back to the kitchen 225 00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:36,956 and get us some water, too? 226 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,417 Yeah, so we can all be on the same page, water wise. 227 00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:41,419 You can get your own water, you sillies. 228 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:43,630 I'm staying with Loopy Goldberg over here. 229 00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,882 -Ha! I'm a fun nurse. -Yeah, you are. 230 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,342 And I'm a fun patient. 231 00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:49,678 Let's never not be in this room together. 232 00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:51,096 [Linda] Okay. 233 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:52,681 And we're here. 234 00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:55,558 After you. Mary, this is Bob Burger. 235 00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:56,976 I... Uh, yeah. 236 00:07:57,060 --> 00:08:00,188 Bob, this is Kathleen's fantastic Irish mom, Mary. 237 00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:01,690 Hi, Mary. Nice to meet you. 238 00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:04,859 You look familiar to me. Did you spend time in County Louth? 239 00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:06,444 Uh, no. 240 00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:08,196 You look like one of the McClarney brothers, 241 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:10,490 and I do not care for them. 242 00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:12,867 Um, I'm not a McClarney brother. 243 00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,411 Tell that to your weak chin. 244 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,162 Uh, [chuckles] don't mind him, Mary. 245 00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:17,914 He's not super Catholic like we are. 246 00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:19,457 You wanna take a seat over in this booth, 247 00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:21,459 -and I'll bring us some menus? -I will. 248 00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:25,296 I think she likes me. She's not so tough. She's sweet. 249 00:08:25,380 --> 00:08:26,381 I mean, not really. 250 00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:28,091 Well, that's your fault for looking like 251 00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:29,676 -a McClarney brother, Bob. -[phone ringing] 252 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:30,760 -Come on. -Yep. 253 00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:32,679 Bob's Burgers. 254 00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:34,264 Dad, it's Tina, your daughter. 255 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,641 -Hi, Tina. -Yeah, hi. So, it's the afternoon. 256 00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:38,935 -Um, did the mail come yet? -Uh, no, not yet. 257 00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:40,186 Son of a bitch! 258 00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:42,147 You're really excited about these pencils, huh? 259 00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:44,816 Yeah, teens love pencils. Look it up. Gotta go, bye. 260 00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:47,277 Uh, feel free to come down and work-- Oh, you hung up. 261 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,528 How's it going in here? 262 00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:50,780 Great! I've been dominating the conversation 263 00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,199 by telling everyone about my new mole hair. 264 00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:54,325 Curly Sue! 265 00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:57,037 We know a lot about Curly Sue now, 266 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,831 but we should talk about Tina's face. 267 00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:02,375 Tina, why do you look so scared? 268 00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:05,128 Your face is, like... [mimics shuddering] 269 00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:06,254 [groans] 270 00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:07,714 Talk to us, baby. 271 00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:11,468 Um, no, I'm not scared. I'm... I'm so chill. [laughs] 272 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:15,972 Hey, Mom. We should make Louise a smoothie in the kitchen. 273 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,098 -Right away. -Oh! 274 00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:20,769 Ooh, a smoothie. Smoothie. 275 00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:22,937 [whispering] Ah, smoothie. 276 00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:24,522 Yeah, smoothie is a good idea. 277 00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:25,857 You can make her a smoothie. 278 00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:28,860 Oh, uh, I was thinking you and I do it together? 279 00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:31,196 You can manage it. You're a big girl. And I don't wanna get up. 280 00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:34,949 Uh, okay. Um, the... the blender lid is optional, right? 281 00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:37,660 Dealer's choice? And we just throw spoons in there with the fruit? 282 00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,287 Uh, no. I better go with ya. 283 00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:42,082 Okay, uh, Gene. Why don't you help Louise get some rest? 284 00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:44,584 Catch a little shut mouth. Uh, I mean, um, shut eye. 285 00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,544 Yeah, I'm good with kids. I can swaddle her. 286 00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:48,671 Good, uh, we'll be back in 30 or 40 minutes. 287 00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,298 What? No, it takes two seconds. 288 00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:52,675 Uh, let's just get in there and see what we're working with. 289 00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:53,927 But don't push! [grunts] 290 00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:55,762 Not pushing. Just helping you leave faster. 291 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:56,846 [Linda] Ow! 292 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,932 [both cackling] 293 00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:01,851 [both stop laughing] 294 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:04,562 [hesitates] I'm sorry. I have to bring you your food. 295 00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:05,939 Yeah, and then you could go. 296 00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:07,357 Should we say grace, Mary? 297 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,818 A little more of this guy, a little less of this guy? 298 00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:10,902 A lot less. 299 00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:12,570 What d'you say, JC? You want Bob to leave? 300 00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:13,655 I'm leaving. 301 00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:15,365 -[Tina] Berries? -[Linda] Uh-huh. 302 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:16,616 -[Tina] Cucumbers? -Nah. 303 00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:18,159 -[Tina] Chicken? -Ew! No. 304 00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:19,577 -[Tina] Dijon mustard? -No. 305 00:10:19,661 --> 00:10:21,746 -[Tina] Seriously? No mustard? -No, Tina. 306 00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:22,831 -Chicken? -No! 307 00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:24,082 Uh, let's take it from the top. 308 00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:25,166 -Berries? -Yes. 309 00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:26,334 -[Tina] Chicken? -No! 310 00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:30,213 -Now you're getting sleepy. -I can't move, Gene. 311 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:31,756 -I like it. -[Gene shushing] 312 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,216 I'm gonna get this tighter. 313 00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,301 You're swaddled, but you could be swaddled-er! 314 00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:36,553 Go nuts. [grunts] 315 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,180 [Linda] What was that sound? Did Louise fall off the couch? 316 00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:40,849 [tuts] Aw, my baby. What happened? 317 00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:42,517 Can someone plop me back up there? 318 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:43,726 I wanna do that again. 319 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,645 No, no more falling off the couch. 320 00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:47,313 Gene, don't swaddle your sister. 321 00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:49,440 She was fussy and my milk hasn't come in yet. 322 00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:51,484 Come on, Mom. Let's get back to the kitchen, huh? 323 00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:54,445 Find just the right ice cubes. Or we make some new ones. 324 00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:56,614 Hmm? First it's water then it's ice. 325 00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:58,908 -What? -No, Tina. Ow! 326 00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,995 Mary, I have to admit. I was a little worried about meeting you. 327 00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:04,038 Ah, you should be. I'm a firecracker. 328 00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,874 Yes, you are. [chuckles] 329 00:11:05,957 --> 00:11:09,294 And, uh, you should know, I... I really care about your daughter a lot. 330 00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:11,087 Well, here's the thing. 331 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,672 Kathleen hasn't mentioned you. 332 00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,257 Not even once. 333 00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:15,633 -[♪ sad chord plays] -Oh. 334 00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:17,844 But then, again, you know how she is when she's in training. 335 00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:19,220 Yeah, yeah. 336 00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:21,264 Wait. "In training"? 337 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:23,016 -For regionals. -"For regionals"? 338 00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:26,186 For her bodybuilding, of course, you know how much work it is. 339 00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:28,479 -Sure, right. -And she's a heavyweight. 340 00:11:28,563 --> 00:11:30,523 You know, that weight class is brutal. 341 00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:32,650 Heavyweight, yeah. Uh-huh. 342 00:11:32,734 --> 00:11:36,279 She's six-feet tall, 210 pounds of pure Irish muscle. 343 00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:38,489 She must throw you around like a rag doll. 344 00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:41,409 Uh-huh. That's... That's our Kathleen, all right. 345 00:11:41,492 --> 00:11:44,037 The six-foot tall professional bodybuilder. 346 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,539 -With the mohawk. -Right! The mohawk. 347 00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:49,125 Mary, excuse me for just one moment. 348 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,668 Oh, crap. Oh, crap. Oh, crap. 349 00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:53,338 I'm starting to think, maybe her daughter's not my Kathleen. 350 00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:54,547 [chuckles] Oh, I heard. 351 00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:56,633 Did I possibly pick up someone else's mom? 352 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:57,926 You definitely did. 353 00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,428 But her name's Mary. And her daughter's Kathleen. 354 00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:02,972 Well, maybe that describes, like, half of Ireland. 355 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,058 That means my Kathleen's little Irish mom 356 00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:06,559 is still waiting at the airport. 357 00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:08,686 -Oh, crap. Oh, crap. -Yep. 358 00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:11,689 Mary, I would love to give your daughter, Kathleen, a quick call, 359 00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:12,899 just to say hi. 360 00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:14,817 But I seem to have misplaced her number, 361 00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:17,528 which is crazy 'cause I obviously know her. [chuckles] 362 00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:19,447 Would you mind jotting that down real quick? 363 00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:20,740 Sorry for sweating everywhere. 364 00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:22,492 [chuckles] It's not because I'm freaking out. 365 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:23,618 It's a calm sweat. 366 00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:26,287 -[Louise] Mmm, mmm. -There we go. 367 00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:27,747 [Louise] Mmm. Mmm. 368 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:30,458 See, I told you both of us feeding you was a good idea. 369 00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:32,543 Your mouth never has to not have smoothie in it. 370 00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:34,587 Mmm. Thanks for taking care of me, guys. 371 00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:35,713 Uh-huh. [shushing] 372 00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:38,967 Though, I guess you are a professional babysitter, Tina. 373 00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:41,302 Earning those big five-dollar bucks. 374 00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:42,845 -Yep, no talking. -Oh, hey. 375 00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:44,806 Did that thing ever come in the mail? 376 00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:46,349 [laughs] Napkin time. 377 00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:47,850 Let's wipe that little mouth real good. 378 00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,310 [laughs] Napkin tim-- 379 00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:50,478 Wait, what thing in the mail? 380 00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:52,313 Um, she's talking about my... my pencils. 381 00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:54,232 -[Louise] Hmm? -Um, I ordered new pencils 382 00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:55,733 and we're all really excited about them. 383 00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:57,652 Aw, pencils. Good for you. 384 00:12:57,735 --> 00:12:59,946 Pencils? No. I'm talking about the-- 385 00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:02,907 Oh, man. There is smoothie all over your mouth. 386 00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:04,284 I'm just gonna wipe a little harder. 387 00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:06,369 -Tina, you're smothering her. -[Louise mumbling] 388 00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:07,453 Yeah, that's Mom's job. 389 00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:09,330 Ah! Tina, my tooth! 390 00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:11,499 Just kidding. I can't feel anything. 391 00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:12,792 So many drugs. 392 00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:14,711 -Oof! -Louise, are you okay? 393 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:17,880 Yeah, this floor keeps jumping up and slapping me, 394 00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:19,549 but that's what I love about it. 395 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:20,883 It's got moxie. 396 00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:23,886 Tina, Gene, you think you're helpin' but you're not helpin'. 397 00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,263 Out. Go downstairs. 398 00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:26,556 Go not help your father. 399 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,141 Wait, what? No. We are helping. 400 00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:30,059 Don't banish us to the shadow realm. 401 00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:31,394 Mom, please let us stay. 402 00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:33,938 I... I promise Louise will fall of the couch zero more times, 403 00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:35,648 now... now that I get that you're not into it. 404 00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,984 Tina, Gene, I love you, but you stink at this. 405 00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:39,986 -Out you go. Let's go. -[Tina] Uh... 406 00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:43,448 We stink at a lot of things and it never seemed to bothered you before. 407 00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:44,532 But fine! 408 00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:49,829 -[♪ perplexed music playing] -Ugh, I can't believe Mom kicked us out. 409 00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:52,081 Now Louise is gonna blab about the broken Butt Baby, 410 00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,541 Mom's gonna lose trust in me, 411 00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:55,460 [hesitates] and no more Abey Linkies for Tina. 412 00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:57,920 We need a gag order, but I don't actually know what that is. 413 00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,047 It sounds kinky. 414 00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:01,382 I'm so sorry, other Kathleen. 415 00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:04,052 Of course, you have every right to-- 416 00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:07,722 Well, now, that's a little vulgar. Oh, so, you don't want me to drive her... 417 00:14:07,805 --> 00:14:09,223 Oh, no. Yep, no. 418 00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:11,559 I got it. Don't put your mom in any more cars 419 00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:14,270 and drive her anywhere or you'll beat my arse. Yep. 420 00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:17,023 Damn it. Back in the stupid restaurant. 421 00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:18,483 Um, heard that. Hi, kids. 422 00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:22,612 Sorry, I'm just, uh, so mad we can't help Louise anymore. 423 00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,864 Our weakness is that we care too much. 424 00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:28,910 Well, you can still be helpful down here in the restaurant we run. 425 00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:31,079 -I doubt it. -And where the "H" is the mail? 426 00:14:31,162 --> 00:14:33,581 Is it mail-carrier walk-extra-slow day? 427 00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:35,416 If so, they deserve it, but still. 428 00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:36,584 Hey, kids. [chuckles] 429 00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:37,919 -[Tina] Hi, Teddy. -[Gene] Hello. 430 00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:40,213 Bob, I gotta go to the airport, like, right now. 431 00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:41,756 So, I need you to watch this Mary, 432 00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:43,591 until the other Kathleen picks her up. 433 00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:45,843 What? No. This Mary hates me. 434 00:14:45,927 --> 00:14:48,429 Why does she hate you? You talked to her, didn't you? 435 00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:49,555 Hmm. Shush. 436 00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:52,183 I gotta go. My Kathleen's Mary is probably at the airport 437 00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:53,309 freakin' out. 438 00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:55,770 Wait, aren't you gonna tell this Mary what's going on? 439 00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,688 Can't you do it? She already hates you. 440 00:14:57,772 --> 00:15:00,691 -What? No. -Oh, also, her Kathleen is terrifying, 441 00:15:00,775 --> 00:15:02,985 and is on her way here and wants to kick some arse. 442 00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:04,529 I think that means ass. I don't know. 443 00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:06,864 -Great. -Mary. Uh, so I gotta run. 444 00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:09,158 Everything's gonna be fine. Bob's gonna help you out. 445 00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,576 [chuckles nervously] Bye. 446 00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:14,038 -Hi. -[Mary] No. 447 00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:15,164 -Need anything? -Not from you. 448 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,499 -Yep. -[doorbell chiming] 449 00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:18,668 [Tina] Mike's here. Yes! That's what I'm talking about. 450 00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,294 Wow! Someone likes mail. 451 00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:21,587 I guess that makes two of us. 452 00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:22,797 -Hey, Mike. -Hey, Bob. 453 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,841 Here's some bills, and some more bills. 454 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,300 What are you guys, bill collectors? 455 00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:27,969 [Bob] Ha! It feels like it sometimes. 456 00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:29,428 [Mike] 'Cause of all the bills you get. 457 00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:31,055 [Bob] No, yeah. I... I got it. 458 00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:32,348 Hey, how's the weather out there? 459 00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:34,100 Looks like it's a nice day to walk around. 460 00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:36,144 Oh, my God! Mike, do you have a package for us? 461 00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:38,020 Geez, yep. Here you go. 462 00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:39,981 Yes. Ha! Mwah. 463 00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:41,899 That's very dirty. 464 00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:45,153 -[Tina] R... Right, right. Mmm. -But I understand the urge. 465 00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:46,571 -Bye. -Bye, Mike. 466 00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:49,157 Huh, that box seems kind of small for pencils. 467 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:52,535 Uh, that's because th... they're golf pencils. 468 00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:55,621 Yeah, for golf. How else are we gonna break into corporate America? 469 00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:56,706 [Bob] Hmm. 470 00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,457 Okay, if Gene and I go upstairs real quick 471 00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:00,168 to put these away in my tiny pencil cabinet? 472 00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:02,295 -What? No. -Uh, we'll be right back, okay? Thanks. 473 00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:04,172 Oh, wait, wait, wait. I need you down here. 474 00:16:04,255 --> 00:16:06,007 Also, your mom kicked you out. 475 00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:07,592 She was just testing our commitment. 476 00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:09,135 [Tina] We'll tell her you say hi. Bye! 477 00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:11,262 [Bob sighs] So... 478 00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:12,555 -Don't. -[Bob] Hmm. 479 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,183 [Tina sighs] There he is. 480 00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:17,143 Little Baby Butt Flap, with just one crack. 481 00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:18,561 The one he was born with. 482 00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:20,563 Okay, Mom's with Louise in the living room. 483 00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:22,815 If I use the hallway door, I can sneak this into Mom's room 484 00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:25,651 without them seeing me, slip this onto Mom's dresser, and we're in the clear. 485 00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:26,777 Good luck up there. 486 00:16:26,861 --> 00:16:29,530 Don't let the other babies make you feel bad just 'cause your flap's down. 487 00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:30,740 It's your strength. 488 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,950 [♪ suspenseful music playing] 489 00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:35,161 [Louise] Remember when Tina and Gene were here? 490 00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:37,914 Those guys are so freaked out about the beans. 491 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,290 Beans? What beans? 492 00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:42,460 The beans, woman. They think I'm gonna spill 'em. 493 00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:45,713 But I'm not, 'cause they're my magic beans and I'm Jack, baby. 494 00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:48,424 I'm not gonna say anything about what happened in your room. 495 00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:50,509 What? What happened in my room? 496 00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:51,761 What didn't happen? 497 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,137 But what did happen? 498 00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:54,347 [chuckling] I know, right? 499 00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:55,848 Okay, I'm gonna go look in my room, 500 00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:57,099 'cause you're makin' me nervous. 501 00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:59,018 All right. I'm gonna stare at my feet. 502 00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:01,270 [Louise] Look at all these different-sized toes. 503 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:02,939 That's gotta mean something. 504 00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,024 Mom's searching her room. She's gonna figure it out. 505 00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:06,609 -Baby Butt Flap, teleport. -[Tina groaning] 506 00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,110 Go! Energize. 507 00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:09,779 Crap. 508 00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:13,115 [♪ tense music playing] 509 00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:14,867 Okay, what am I looking for in here, Louise? 510 00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:17,119 Beans? Did you kids spill beans in here? 511 00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:20,122 [Linda] This is why you're not allowed in my room. 512 00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:23,167 I'm not crazy about your energy right now, Lin. 513 00:17:23,251 --> 00:17:25,002 -Psst! Louise. -Oh, hey, guys. 514 00:17:25,086 --> 00:17:26,712 -[Tina and Gene shushing] -Why? What? 515 00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:28,881 [whispering] You... You gotta get Mom out of her room. 516 00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:30,466 Ge... get her to come into the living room. 517 00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,301 That's fun. How do I do that? 518 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:33,803 Um, tell her you can't reach the remote 519 00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:35,972 and you need her to come in and turn on the TV for you. 520 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,515 Ooh, maybe that commercial 521 00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:40,059 with the break-dancing personal injury lawyer will be on. 522 00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:42,311 Oh, yeah. Hey, Mom! 523 00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:43,854 Come turn on the TV! 524 00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:47,358 Maybe that commercial with the break-dancing lawyer will be on. 525 00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,735 The one that made Gene wanna practice law? 526 00:17:49,819 --> 00:17:52,196 I love that commercial, but Mom is busy. 527 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:55,283 Dang it. Um, tell her that you wanna talk about, 528 00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:58,077 uh, finally starting the family book club, but it's magazines. 529 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,454 Oh, yeah. She's been pushing that for a while. 530 00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:03,457 Hey, Mom! You wanna come talk about family book club, 531 00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:04,709 but it's magazines? 532 00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:08,129 I'm coming around on it. I wanna get into the details. 533 00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:09,338 Not now, sweetie. 534 00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,007 Right now, I mostly just wanna know 535 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,967 what the heck happened in my room. 536 00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:15,052 That's what Mom really wants to talk about. 537 00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:16,596 What happened in her room. 538 00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:18,806 Oh, my God. That actually might be the only thing 539 00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:20,141 that gets her to come in here. 540 00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:22,602 You know what, Louise? Tell Mom everything. 541 00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:24,687 Everything that happened to Little Baby Butt Flap. 542 00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,856 -What? -Yeah, and take a long time. 543 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,316 Feel free to fall off the couch a lot. 544 00:18:28,399 --> 00:18:29,650 You got it, boss. 545 00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:33,029 [Louise] Hey, Mom! You wanna know what happened in your room? 546 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,739 Come in here, and I'll tell you. 547 00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:38,075 -You're gonna be so mad. -How mad? 548 00:18:38,159 --> 00:18:39,994 -Go. Go. Go. -Talk, Louise. 549 00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:43,372 [Louise] So, you know, how you decided to pay Tina five dollars an hour, 550 00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:46,250 United States cash money to babysit us, 551 00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:48,419 because she's so responsible? 552 00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:50,796 [whooshing] 553 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:52,048 [tires screeching] 554 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:55,009 Hi, you must be Mary, Kathleen's mom, right? 555 00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:57,637 How was your flight? I'm Teddy. Catholic as hell. 556 00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,639 I... I hope you haven't been waiting too long. 557 00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:00,931 Traffic. Ooh, boy. 558 00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:02,266 What are you gonna do? [chuckles] 559 00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:04,852 Hey, you hungry? I know a great burger place. 560 00:19:04,935 --> 00:19:08,564 And Gene and I were having a boobie battle with your bras, 561 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:10,566 as one does when you're not home. 562 00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:12,943 -[Linda] Okay, I don't like that. -[Louise] Gene's idea. 563 00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:17,865 And then, Tina comes in and proceeds to just smash the living daylights 564 00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:20,034 -out of your porcelain Butt Flap Baby. -[Tina gasps] 565 00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:21,869 Oh, God. I'm coming, Little Baby Butt Flap. 566 00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:23,204 [Tina grunting] 567 00:19:23,287 --> 00:19:25,665 [Linda] Please don't be dead. Please don't be dead. 568 00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:27,249 [sighs] Oh, there you are. Oh! 569 00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:30,920 Seems fine. I don't know, Louise. 570 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,673 I think that's the, uh, wack-enol talking. 571 00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:35,549 No babies are broken in here. 572 00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:37,593 And they might have gotten a little cuter somehow. 573 00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:39,470 -Mwah! -Whatever, bro. 574 00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:41,931 Come push me off the couch. I miss the rush. 575 00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:43,099 -No. -Boo. 576 00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:44,183 Phew! 577 00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:47,186 [Linda] Baby Butt Flap, you look like you wanna come over here and play 578 00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:49,355 -with Baby Bashful. -Oh, no. [groaning] 579 00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:52,191 [Linda] And Baby Bath Time, I'm gonna put you with Baby Hold Her Toes. 580 00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:54,110 -But don't get too clicky, okay? -[Tina grunting] 581 00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,486 [Linda] You know how you two can get. 582 00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:57,738 And look at the face you're makin', little Stinker Baby. 583 00:19:57,863 --> 00:19:59,573 -[Tina exhales] -What a little stinker you are. 584 00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:01,409 I'm gonna put you next to Baby Surprised Eyes. 585 00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:02,493 [groaning] 586 00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:04,120 You two have fun, but be nice. 587 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,413 [sighs] 588 00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:06,580 [♪ pleasant music playing] 589 00:20:06,664 --> 00:20:09,959 Going to the toilet. That airport bench didn't have a bog hole in it. 590 00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,627 [sighs] Sorry, again. 591 00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,838 Oh, Teddy, don't feel bad. Honest mistake. 592 00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:16,215 She does look like every little old lady in Ireland. 593 00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:17,633 I've even picked up the wrong one. 594 00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,802 -Really? -Yeah, she lived with me for two years. 595 00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:22,596 I grew quite fond of her. Swapped her back. We stay in touch. 596 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,015 -[chuckles] Wait, you're kidding, right? -Yes. 597 00:20:25,099 --> 00:20:27,309 So, you couldn't find a bigger crucifix now? 598 00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:30,813 This is XL. If you want double XL, you have to special order it. 599 00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:33,232 I can't believe I missed bodybuilder Kathleen. 600 00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:35,526 Yeah, her mom kept asking her to beat me up, 601 00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:38,779 but, uh, she didn't. And I'm... I'm glad for that. 602 00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:39,864 Me, too. 603 00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:42,074 Hey, by the way, good news. 604 00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:43,701 Louise didn't blab to Tina and Gene 605 00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:44,827 that we let her stay up late, 606 00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:47,037 and watch that horror movie without them a few weeks ago. 607 00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:48,873 Oh, phew! I was worried about that. 608 00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:51,125 Glad, you stayed close to her. That was a good plan. 609 00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:53,753 Gene and Tina have no idea. They're clueless. 610 00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:55,838 [Bob] Ha! We're smart and they're dumb. 611 00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:57,339 [Linda] ♪ Little Baby Butt Flap ♪ 612 00:20:57,423 --> 00:21:00,968 ♪ With your rosy cheeks both north and south ♪ 613 00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:03,763 ♪ Everyone can see your butt crack ♪ 614 00:21:04,221 --> 00:21:07,266 ♪ But we think it's sweet you let it all hang out ♪ 615 00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:10,519 ♪ Don't you ever pull that flap up ♪ 616 00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:12,480 ♪ If you care about me ♪ 617 00:21:12,563 --> 00:21:14,565 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 618 00:21:14,648 --> 00:21:17,735 ♪ Your adorable face makes the world much brighter ♪ 619 00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:19,278 ♪ With a tushy that cute ♪ 620 00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:20,863 ♪ It's a shame to wear a diaper ♪ 621 00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:22,823 ♪ Oh, Little Baby Butt Flap ♪ 622 00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:25,868 ♪ I love you from the bottom of my heart ♪ 623 00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:27,203 [Linda] Aw, come here, little baby. 624 00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:28,871 Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! 48340

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