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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,003
[♪ theme music playing]
2
00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:22,940
[Tina] Okay. [sighs]
The package is supposed to come today.
3
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,274
Then the nightmare
will be over
4
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:25,943
and all mistakes
will be erased.
5
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,027
Thank you, Grandma,
6
00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:28,820
for that just-barely
generous-enough gift card
7
00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:30,155
that made this
purchase possible.
8
00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:31,907
And when it gets here,
we'll open the box,
9
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:33,158
take out the porcelain baby
10
00:00:33,242 --> 00:00:34,535
with its butt flap
unbuttoned...
11
00:00:34,618 --> 00:00:36,495
-Little Baby Butt Flap.
-...and we'll sneakily put it
12
00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:38,622
with all the other
porcelain babies on Mom's dresser.
13
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:40,666
And no one ever needs to know
we accidentally broke it.
14
00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:42,376
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
"We" broke it?
15
00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:43,585
Okay, technically,
I broke it.
16
00:00:43,669 --> 00:00:44,795
But... But they
can't find out.
17
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:47,130
Look, I finally convinced
Mom and Dad to raise
18
00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:49,800
my hourly babysitting rate
to a cool five dollars.
19
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:50,884
And if I have to tell them
20
00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:52,386
that on my first
official night,
21
00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:54,263
as a five-dollar-an-hour
babysitter,
22
00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:56,723
I broke one of Mom's
top-tier porcelain babies,
23
00:00:56,807 --> 00:00:58,558
I can kiss
that sweet raise goodbye.
24
00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:00,686
Also, you guys went
into Mom and Dad's room first.
25
00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:03,480
We... We're not supposed to play
in there, so it's all of our faults.
26
00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:04,564
Really?
27
00:01:04,648 --> 00:01:06,525
-Boobie battle!
-Hiyah!
28
00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:08,110
[both] Boom, boom, boom, boom.
29
00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:09,570
What the heck
is going on in here?
30
00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:11,238
-Boobie battle.
-Obviously.
31
00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:13,782
-We're just doing what grown-up women do.
-Yeah.
32
00:01:13,865 --> 00:01:16,118
I'm a highly-paid
professional babysitter now.
33
00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:17,202
Here we go.
34
00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:19,037
And Mom and Dad
aren't shelling out an Abey Linky,
35
00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:20,789
or five Georgey Washies
an hour
36
00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:23,500
for me to let you two come in here
and mess with Mom's bras.
37
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:24,918
They're paying me
to be responsible...
38
00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:27,045
-[thuds]
-...dependable, and... Ah!
39
00:01:27,129 --> 00:01:28,463
Phew! It didn't break.
40
00:01:28,547 --> 00:01:30,882
That could've been...
Ah! Whoa! [yelps] Ah!
41
00:01:30,966 --> 00:01:32,968
[sighs] This carpet is saving my day.
42
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[shatters]
43
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-[♪ tense music playing]
-Oh, my God!
44
00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:36,930
-You broke the baby!
-Whoa, ho, ho, ho!
45
00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:38,265
[Tina hyperventilating]
46
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Sorry, go on about
being responsible.
47
00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:43,520
The important thing is
the replacement baby is coming today.
48
00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:45,355
We just gotta stay cool
for the next few hours,
49
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:46,940
and keep praying that
Mom doesn't notice
50
00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:48,483
that Little Baby Butt Flap
is missing.
51
00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:50,902
Would it help if I lower
my butt flap to distract her?
52
00:01:50,986 --> 00:01:52,237
Maybe. Ow!
53
00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:54,865
Ugh! Stupid freakin'
extra tooth.
54
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,199
I still can't believe it.
55
00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:58,076
My sister has an extra tooth.
56
00:01:58,160 --> 00:01:59,828
It's like I'm related
to a shark,
57
00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:01,330
but without all the drama.
58
00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:04,166
[sighs] I guess
I'm glad Dr. Yap is taking it out today.
59
00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:06,001
Turned into
an angry little thing.
60
00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:07,419
How are you gonna
trick yourself outta
61
00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:09,171
your paralyzing fear
of the dentist this time?
62
00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:12,299
Equalizer? You're Denzel?
Your tooth needs equalizing?
63
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:14,217
I was thinking,
maybe I'm CIA,
64
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:16,261
and the tooth is
a tiny unstable nuke,
65
00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:18,305
planted there
by a Russian triple agent.
66
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:21,141
-That works.
-[Linda] Louise! Dentist time.
67
00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:23,602
Coming! Also, I'm not Louise.
68
00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:25,812
I'm Special Agent
Hammerknife.
69
00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:29,608
All right, well, the spy plane is leaving,
Agent Hammertime.
70
00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:31,193
-[doorbell chiming]
-Hey, Teddy.
71
00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:33,362
Hey, Bob. Just stoppin' by
real quick for a coffee
72
00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:35,614
before I go pick up
Kathleen's mom at the airport.
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00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,074
She's flying in from Ireland,
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00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,825
'cause she's Irish,
like Kathleen.
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00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:40,327
I... I guess it runs
in the family.
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00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,079
Well, why can't
Kathleen pick her up?
77
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,372
She's at
a bachelorette party.
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00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:44,790
It's at a cabin
in the mountains.
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00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,124
It was supposed to end
this morning,
80
00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:47,918
but the bride-to-be
got cold feet.
81
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,461
She got frostbite
snowshoeing.
82
00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:50,712
Oh, is she okay?
83
00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:52,798
Yeah, but Kathleen
has to drive her to the hospital.
84
00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:54,174
-Chuck a look.
-[Bob] Hmm.
85
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:55,759
Yeah, the friend's
a handful.
86
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,761
But, anyway,
now I gotta pick up Kathleen's mom.
87
00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,888
I'm gonna bring her back here,
get her some lunch,
88
00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:01,390
then Kathleen will
meet up with us.
89
00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:03,058
Do little Irish ladies
like to eat burgers?
90
00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:04,768
-I think so.
-Can you look it up?
91
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,269
-No.
-Do you have stew?
92
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:08,480
-Beef stew?
-No, we... we don't, Teddy.
93
00:03:08,563 --> 00:03:09,940
We've never had beef stew.
94
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,942
I think you just put
a burger in water, right?
95
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,277
-No, that's not how--
-I'm actually pretty nervous.
96
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:16,905
-I can tell.
-Kathleen says her mom can be tough.
97
00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:18,323
But I really want her
to like me.
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00:03:18,407 --> 00:03:21,284
She says I'll be okay,
as long as I tell her mom I'm Catholic.
99
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:22,619
-Early and often.
-Smart.
100
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:24,996
-Is this crucifix too big?
-It... It's a little big.
101
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:26,540
-It's heavy.
-It looks heavy.
102
00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:27,833
Ooh, I better head out.
103
00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:28,917
Can I get the coffee to go?
104
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Sure. Oh.
You're taking the... Oh, no.
105
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-Okay.
-Oh, God. It's spilling everywhere.
106
00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:34,673
Teddy, we have to-go cups.
107
00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:35,757
You're taking the--
108
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,634
You might wanna think
about getting better ones.
109
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:38,885
This is basically just a mug.
110
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Hey! There she is.
111
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-How's the patient?
-Good.
112
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The nuke was disarmed,
113
00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:47,102
and she now has
the exact right number of teeth,
114
00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:49,688
and they're
in the right places, or close enough.
115
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:53,358
As you know, I gave her
a little extra happy-time medicine,
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00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:54,943
since she's
a bit of a nervous patient.
117
00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:56,027
Sure. Right.
118
00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:58,447
-Papa?
-Yeah, she's blitzed.
119
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,157
It might last
a couple of hours.
120
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,617
Well, let's get
this little loopy Lou home.
121
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:05,036
[chuckles] Right after
you cover that co-pay.
122
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,955
Co-pay? Like, we both pay?
123
00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:09,207
Just kidding.
I got this one you get the next one.
124
00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:10,500
-Ha!
-Ha.
125
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,462
Hey, so,
super normal question.
126
00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:15,130
When does the mail come
these days?
127
00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:18,633
Oh, uh. I guess
Mike usually comes in the afternoon.
128
00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:19,801
Cool, cool, cool.
129
00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:21,970
Uh, so, like, what time?
3:00? 4:00? 2:15?
130
00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:23,430
All of those are
in the afternoon, Dad.
131
00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:24,765
-Easy, Tina.
-Sorry.
132
00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:26,183
Are you expecting something?
133
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,267
Uh, yeah.
134
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:29,978
A really important
box of pencils.
135
00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:31,438
-You ordered pencils?
-Yeah.
136
00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:33,815
You know, long,
yellow, pointy things? Eraser at the end.
137
00:04:33,899 --> 00:04:35,233
Kind of like
a not-so-confident pen?
138
00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:36,359
-Pencils!
-Okay.
139
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:37,903
-[doorbell chiming]
-Hey, everyone.
140
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:39,780
Look who's on her feet
and has less teeth?
141
00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:43,116
She's talking
about me, my people!
142
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,368
Hey, Louise.
How are you doing?
143
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:49,206
Honestly, I feel like
how you wanna look.
144
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:52,584
-[Bob] Hmm.
-[lisping] Hey, these stools, so rad.
145
00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:57,672
Yeah, I went there.
We gotta be able to talk. You know?
146
00:04:57,756 --> 00:04:58,965
So, as you can see,
147
00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:01,843
the anesthesia made Louise loopy
as a Hula-Hoop.
148
00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:03,762
Dr. Yap said that's normal.
149
00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:05,847
He said she might say
a bunch of crazy stuff.
150
00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:06,973
A little bit unfiltered.
151
00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:09,100
Yap said that sometimes
it's like a truth serum.
152
00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:11,144
-A truth serum?
-[Linda] Yeah.
153
00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:13,897
He said, "One kid confessed
to wiping boogers on the cat."
154
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,190
It wasn't even his cat.
155
00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:18,193
Just some cat that was
in the wrong place at the wrong time.
156
00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:20,654
-How long till it wears off?
-A couple hours.
157
00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:24,366
Tina, Gene,
my favorite little chimichangas.
158
00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:25,951
I just wanna
pinch your cheeks.
159
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:27,828
So squishy.
160
00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:29,037
-Ow!
-That's forceful.
161
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:30,705
And, sir, full disclosure.
162
00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:32,374
My brother's farted
in that booth
163
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:34,167
probably, like, 80 times.
164
00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:36,378
-[Bob] Oh, uh...
-[Linda chuckles nervously]
165
00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:38,547
He says the acoustics
are better there.
166
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,423
-Just thought you should know.
-Okay.
167
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,676
Let's get this little patient
upstairs, huh?
168
00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:45,136
-Yeah, good idea.
-She's on drugs. We don't fart.
169
00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:46,429
Except when we do drugs.
170
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:48,557
-I'm so sorry about our children.
-[doorbell chiming]
171
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:49,891
-[door closes]
-We... We tried.
172
00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:51,768
Truth serum?
We have a problem.
173
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,186
Louise is gonna
spill the beans.
174
00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:54,938
What beans?
Sounds delicious.
175
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,314
The porcelain-baby beans.
176
00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:57,941
-Oh, right.
-We gotta get up there.
177
00:05:58,024 --> 00:05:59,234
We gotta be
by Louise's side
178
00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:00,610
until that anesthesia
wears off.
179
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,529
I mean,
more of a "you" situation?
180
00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:04,364
Oh, no. I wasn't
the only one who broke
181
00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:06,575
Mom's
don't-go-in-my-room rule, Boobie Battler.
182
00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:08,618
Fine. And it's
Sir Boobie Battler.
183
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:09,911
I was recently knighted
184
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:11,830
by the bazoombas
of the round table.
185
00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:14,416
Hey, Dad, we're just gonna
go upstairs real quick for a long time,
186
00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:16,459
and help Mom
set up things for Louise, okay?
187
00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,086
Did you say,
"for a long time"?
188
00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:20,255
-[Tina] Great, thanks, bye.
-[Gene] Love you, Father.
189
00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:21,798
Big fan!
190
00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:27,178
[Linda] There we go.
Snug as a bug on drugs.
191
00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:30,223
Oh, I don't have any cash.
Am I supposed to tip you?
192
00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:32,142
We'll settle up
at the end of the day.
193
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:33,476
-Knock, knock!
-Who's there?
194
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,354
Nice-people-who-are-here
to-take-care of-their-sister who?
195
00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:37,689
I'm not sure
we did that right.
196
00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:40,483
[tuts] Aw, that's very sweet,
but I got this, kids.
197
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,736
You two should
help your father in the restaurant.
198
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:46,031
I really think we should be up here,
during Louise's time of need.
199
00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:47,490
Mom, let 'em stay.
200
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:48,658
They amuse me.
201
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,744
Like, Tina here.
I mean look at her.
202
00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:53,705
-See?
-[tuts] Okay, fine.,
203
00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:55,832
I guess you two
can stick around for a bit.
204
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:56,958
You must be thirsty.
205
00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:58,293
I'm gonna get you
a glass of water.
206
00:06:58,376 --> 00:07:00,086
The good water.
I'll be right back.
207
00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:01,755
Gettin' me a glass of water!
208
00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:03,882
Man, that's service.
209
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:06,676
Mom, did you know,
one time I put a water balloon
210
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,970
in the sun visor
of Mr. Frond's car?
211
00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:10,555
-[Tina gasps]
-Am I a genius?
212
00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:11,640
-[Gene yelps]
-Mom!
213
00:07:11,723 --> 00:07:13,350
She's spewing out secrets
left and right.
214
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:14,934
She's the one
who put the water balloon
215
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:16,603
in the visor
of Mr. Frond's car?
216
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:18,229
I wanna ask her
for an autograph.
217
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:20,023
We gotta make sure
the conversation stays away
218
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,067
from babies,
or broken things, or babysitting.
219
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:23,902
What else is there?
Gas prices?
220
00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:27,030
What would really help is if we could
just keep Mom away from Louise entirely.
221
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:29,699
Is there a fun
microbrewery tour we could take Mom on?
222
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:32,994
Hey, hey! Who's high as a kite
and ready to be hydrated?
223
00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:34,079
[Louise] Me!
224
00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:35,789
Uh, could you, maybe,
go back to the kitchen
225
00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:36,956
and get us some water, too?
226
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,417
Yeah, so we can all be
on the same page, water wise.
227
00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:41,419
You can get
your own water, you sillies.
228
00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:43,630
I'm staying
with Loopy Goldberg over here.
229
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,882
-Ha! I'm a fun nurse.
-Yeah, you are.
230
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,342
And I'm a fun patient.
231
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:49,678
Let's never not be
in this room together.
232
00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:51,096
[Linda] Okay.
233
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:52,681
And we're here.
234
00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:55,558
After you.
Mary, this is Bob Burger.
235
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:56,976
I... Uh, yeah.
236
00:07:57,060 --> 00:08:00,188
Bob, this is Kathleen's
fantastic Irish mom, Mary.
237
00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:01,690
Hi, Mary. Nice to meet you.
238
00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:04,859
You look familiar to me.
Did you spend time in County Louth?
239
00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:06,444
Uh, no.
240
00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:08,196
You look like one
of the McClarney brothers,
241
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:10,490
and I do not care for them.
242
00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:12,867
Um, I'm not
a McClarney brother.
243
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,411
Tell that to your weak chin.
244
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,162
Uh, [chuckles]
don't mind him, Mary.
245
00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:17,914
He's not super Catholic
like we are.
246
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:19,457
You wanna take a seat
over in this booth,
247
00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:21,459
-and I'll bring us some menus?
-I will.
248
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:25,296
I think she likes me.
She's not so tough. She's sweet.
249
00:08:25,380 --> 00:08:26,381
I mean, not really.
250
00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:28,091
Well, that's your fault
for looking like
251
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:29,676
-a McClarney brother, Bob.
-[phone ringing]
252
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:30,760
-Come on.
-Yep.
253
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:32,679
Bob's Burgers.
254
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:34,264
Dad, it's Tina, your daughter.
255
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,641
-Hi, Tina.
-Yeah, hi. So, it's the afternoon.
256
00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:38,935
-Um, did the mail come yet?
-Uh, no, not yet.
257
00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:40,186
Son of a bitch!
258
00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:42,147
You're really excited
about these pencils, huh?
259
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:44,816
Yeah, teens love pencils.
Look it up. Gotta go, bye.
260
00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:47,277
Uh, feel free
to come down and work-- Oh, you hung up.
261
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,528
How's it going in here?
262
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:50,780
Great! I've been dominating
the conversation
263
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,199
by telling everyone
about my new mole hair.
264
00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:54,325
Curly Sue!
265
00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:57,037
We know a lot
about Curly Sue now,
266
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,831
but we should talk
about Tina's face.
267
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:02,375
Tina, why do you look
so scared?
268
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:05,128
Your face is, like...
[mimics shuddering]
269
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:06,254
[groans]
270
00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:07,714
Talk to us, baby.
271
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:11,468
Um, no, I'm not scared.
I'm... I'm so chill. [laughs]
272
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:15,972
Hey, Mom. We should
make Louise a smoothie in the kitchen.
273
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,098
-Right away.
-Oh!
274
00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:20,769
Ooh, a smoothie.
Smoothie.
275
00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:22,937
[whispering]
Ah, smoothie.
276
00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:24,522
Yeah, smoothie is a good idea.
277
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:25,857
You can make her a smoothie.
278
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:28,860
Oh, uh,
I was thinking you and I do it together?
279
00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:31,196
You can manage it. You're a big girl.
And I don't wanna get up.
280
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:34,949
Uh, okay. Um, the...
the blender lid is optional, right?
281
00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:37,660
Dealer's choice? And we just
throw spoons in there with the fruit?
282
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,287
Uh, no. I better go with ya.
283
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:42,082
Okay, uh, Gene.
Why don't you help Louise get some rest?
284
00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:44,584
Catch a little shut mouth.
Uh, I mean, um, shut eye.
285
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,544
Yeah, I'm good with kids.
I can swaddle her.
286
00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:48,671
Good, uh, we'll be back
in 30 or 40 minutes.
287
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,298
What? No, it takes
two seconds.
288
00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:52,675
Uh, let's just get in there
and see what we're working with.
289
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:53,927
But don't push! [grunts]
290
00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:55,762
Not pushing.
Just helping you leave faster.
291
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:56,846
[Linda] Ow!
292
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,932
[both cackling]
293
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:01,851
[both stop laughing]
294
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:04,562
[hesitates] I'm sorry.
I have to bring you your food.
295
00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:05,939
Yeah, and then you could go.
296
00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:07,357
Should we say grace, Mary?
297
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,818
A little more of this guy,
a little less of this guy?
298
00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:10,902
A lot less.
299
00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:12,570
What d'you say, JC?
You want Bob to leave?
300
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:13,655
I'm leaving.
301
00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:15,365
-[Tina] Berries?
-[Linda] Uh-huh.
302
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:16,616
-[Tina] Cucumbers?
-Nah.
303
00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:18,159
-[Tina] Chicken?
-Ew! No.
304
00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:19,577
-[Tina] Dijon mustard?
-No.
305
00:10:19,661 --> 00:10:21,746
-[Tina] Seriously? No mustard?
-No, Tina.
306
00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:22,831
-Chicken?
-No!
307
00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:24,082
Uh, let's take it
from the top.
308
00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:25,166
-Berries?
-Yes.
309
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:26,334
-[Tina] Chicken?
-No!
310
00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:30,213
-Now you're getting sleepy.
-I can't move, Gene.
311
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:31,756
-I like it.
-[Gene shushing]
312
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,216
I'm gonna get this tighter.
313
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,301
You're swaddled,
but you could be swaddled-er!
314
00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:36,553
Go nuts. [grunts]
315
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,180
[Linda] What was that sound?
Did Louise fall off the couch?
316
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:40,849
[tuts] Aw, my baby.
What happened?
317
00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:42,517
Can someone plop me
back up there?
318
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:43,726
I wanna do that again.
319
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,645
No, no more
falling off the couch.
320
00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:47,313
Gene, don't swaddle
your sister.
321
00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:49,440
She was fussy
and my milk hasn't come in yet.
322
00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:51,484
Come on, Mom.
Let's get back to the kitchen, huh?
323
00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:54,445
Find just the right ice cubes.
Or we make some new ones.
324
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:56,614
Hmm? First it's water
then it's ice.
325
00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:58,908
-What?
-No, Tina. Ow!
326
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,995
Mary, I have to admit.
I was a little worried about meeting you.
327
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:04,038
Ah, you should be.
I'm a firecracker.
328
00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,874
Yes, you are. [chuckles]
329
00:11:05,957 --> 00:11:09,294
And, uh, you should know, I...
I really care about your daughter a lot.
330
00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:11,087
Well, here's the thing.
331
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,672
Kathleen hasn't mentioned you.
332
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,257
Not even once.
333
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:15,633
-[♪ sad chord plays]
-Oh.
334
00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:17,844
But then, again, you know
how she is when she's in training.
335
00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:19,220
Yeah, yeah.
336
00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:21,264
Wait. "In training"?
337
00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:23,016
-For regionals.
-"For regionals"?
338
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:26,186
For her bodybuilding,
of course, you know how much work it is.
339
00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:28,479
-Sure, right.
-And she's a heavyweight.
340
00:11:28,563 --> 00:11:30,523
You know,
that weight class is brutal.
341
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:32,650
Heavyweight, yeah. Uh-huh.
342
00:11:32,734 --> 00:11:36,279
She's six-feet tall,
210 pounds of pure Irish muscle.
343
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:38,489
She must throw
you around like a rag doll.
344
00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:41,409
Uh-huh. That's... That's
our Kathleen, all right.
345
00:11:41,492 --> 00:11:44,037
The six-foot tall
professional bodybuilder.
346
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,539
-With the mohawk.
-Right! The mohawk.
347
00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:49,125
Mary, excuse me
for just one moment.
348
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,668
Oh, crap. Oh, crap. Oh, crap.
349
00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:53,338
I'm starting to think,
maybe her daughter's not my Kathleen.
350
00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:54,547
[chuckles] Oh, I heard.
351
00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:56,633
Did I possibly pick up
someone else's mom?
352
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:57,926
You definitely did.
353
00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,428
But her name's Mary.
And her daughter's Kathleen.
354
00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:02,972
Well, maybe that describes,
like, half of Ireland.
355
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,058
That means
my Kathleen's little Irish mom
356
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:06,559
is still waiting
at the airport.
357
00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:08,686
-Oh, crap. Oh, crap.
-Yep.
358
00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:11,689
Mary, I would love to give your daughter,
Kathleen, a quick call,
359
00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:12,899
just to say hi.
360
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:14,817
But I seem to have
misplaced her number,
361
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:17,528
which is crazy
'cause I obviously know her. [chuckles]
362
00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:19,447
Would you mind
jotting that down real quick?
363
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:20,740
Sorry for sweating everywhere.
364
00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:22,492
[chuckles] It's not
because I'm freaking out.
365
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:23,618
It's a calm sweat.
366
00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:26,287
-[Louise] Mmm, mmm.
-There we go.
367
00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:27,747
[Louise] Mmm. Mmm.
368
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:30,458
See, I told you
both of us feeding you was a good idea.
369
00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:32,543
Your mouth never has to
not have smoothie in it.
370
00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:34,587
Mmm. Thanks for taking
care of me, guys.
371
00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:35,713
Uh-huh. [shushing]
372
00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:38,967
Though, I guess
you are a professional babysitter, Tina.
373
00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:41,302
Earning those big
five-dollar bucks.
374
00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:42,845
-Yep, no talking.
-Oh, hey.
375
00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:44,806
Did that thing
ever come in the mail?
376
00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:46,349
[laughs] Napkin time.
377
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:47,850
Let's wipe that
little mouth real good.
378
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,310
[laughs] Napkin tim--
379
00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:50,478
Wait, what thing in the mail?
380
00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:52,313
Um, she's talking
about my... my pencils.
381
00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:54,232
-[Louise] Hmm?
-Um, I ordered new pencils
382
00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:55,733
and we're all
really excited about them.
383
00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:57,652
Aw, pencils. Good for you.
384
00:12:57,735 --> 00:12:59,946
Pencils? No.
I'm talking about the--
385
00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:02,907
Oh, man. There is smoothie
all over your mouth.
386
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:04,284
I'm just gonna
wipe a little harder.
387
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:06,369
-Tina, you're smothering her.
-[Louise mumbling]
388
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:07,453
Yeah, that's Mom's job.
389
00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:09,330
Ah! Tina, my tooth!
390
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:11,499
Just kidding.
I can't feel anything.
391
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:12,792
So many drugs.
392
00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:14,711
-Oof!
-Louise, are you okay?
393
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:17,880
Yeah, this floor keeps
jumping up and slapping me,
394
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:19,549
but that's what
I love about it.
395
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:20,883
It's got moxie.
396
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:23,886
Tina, Gene, you think
you're helpin' but you're not helpin'.
397
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,263
Out. Go downstairs.
398
00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:26,556
Go not help your father.
399
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,141
Wait, what? No.
We are helping.
400
00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:30,059
Don't banish us
to the shadow realm.
401
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:31,394
Mom, please let us stay.
402
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:33,938
I... I promise Louise will fall
of the couch zero more times,
403
00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:35,648
now... now that I get
that you're not into it.
404
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,984
Tina, Gene, I love you,
but you stink at this.
405
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:39,986
-Out you go. Let's go.
-[Tina] Uh...
406
00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:43,448
We stink at a lot of things and it never
seemed to bothered you before.
407
00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:44,532
But fine!
408
00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:49,829
-[♪ perplexed music playing]
-Ugh, I can't believe Mom kicked us out.
409
00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:52,081
Now Louise is gonna blab
about the broken Butt Baby,
410
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,541
Mom's gonna lose trust in me,
411
00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:55,460
[hesitates] and no more
Abey Linkies for Tina.
412
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:57,920
We need a gag order,
but I don't actually know what that is.
413
00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,047
It sounds kinky.
414
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:01,382
I'm so sorry, other Kathleen.
415
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:04,052
Of course,
you have every right to--
416
00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:07,722
Well, now, that's a little vulgar. Oh, so,
you don't want me to drive her...
417
00:14:07,805 --> 00:14:09,223
Oh, no. Yep, no.
418
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:11,559
I got it. Don't put your mom
in any more cars
419
00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:14,270
and drive her anywhere
or you'll beat my arse. Yep.
420
00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:17,023
Damn it. Back in
the stupid restaurant.
421
00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:18,483
Um, heard that. Hi, kids.
422
00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:22,612
Sorry, I'm just, uh,
so mad we can't help Louise anymore.
423
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,864
Our weakness is
that we care too much.
424
00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:28,910
Well, you can still be helpful
down here in the restaurant we run.
425
00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:31,079
-I doubt it.
-And where the "H" is the mail?
426
00:14:31,162 --> 00:14:33,581
Is it mail-carrier
walk-extra-slow day?
427
00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:35,416
If so, they deserve it,
but still.
428
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:36,584
Hey, kids. [chuckles]
429
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:37,919
-[Tina] Hi, Teddy.
-[Gene] Hello.
430
00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:40,213
Bob, I gotta go
to the airport, like, right now.
431
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:41,756
So, I need you
to watch this Mary,
432
00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:43,591
until the other Kathleen
picks her up.
433
00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:45,843
What? No. This Mary hates me.
434
00:14:45,927 --> 00:14:48,429
Why does she hate you?
You talked to her, didn't you?
435
00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:49,555
Hmm. Shush.
436
00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:52,183
I gotta go. My Kathleen's Mary is
probably at the airport
437
00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:53,309
freakin' out.
438
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:55,770
Wait, aren't you gonna tell
this Mary what's going on?
439
00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,688
Can't you do it?
She already hates you.
440
00:14:57,772 --> 00:15:00,691
-What? No.
-Oh, also, her Kathleen is terrifying,
441
00:15:00,775 --> 00:15:02,985
and is on her way here
and wants to kick some arse.
442
00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:04,529
I think that means ass.
I don't know.
443
00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:06,864
-Great.
-Mary. Uh, so I gotta run.
444
00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:09,158
Everything's gonna be fine.
Bob's gonna help you out.
445
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,576
[chuckles nervously] Bye.
446
00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:14,038
-Hi.
-[Mary] No.
447
00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:15,164
-Need anything?
-Not from you.
448
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,499
-Yep.
-[doorbell chiming]
449
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:18,668
[Tina] Mike's here. Yes!
That's what I'm talking about.
450
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,294
Wow! Someone likes mail.
451
00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:21,587
I guess that makes two of us.
452
00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:22,797
-Hey, Mike.
-Hey, Bob.
453
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,841
Here's some bills,
and some more bills.
454
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,300
What are you guys,
bill collectors?
455
00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:27,969
[Bob] Ha!
It feels like it sometimes.
456
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:29,428
[Mike] 'Cause of all
the bills you get.
457
00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:31,055
[Bob] No, yeah. I... I got it.
458
00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:32,348
Hey, how's
the weather out there?
459
00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:34,100
Looks like it's a nice day
to walk around.
460
00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:36,144
Oh, my God!
Mike, do you have a package for us?
461
00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:38,020
Geez, yep. Here you go.
462
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:39,981
Yes. Ha! Mwah.
463
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:41,899
That's very dirty.
464
00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:45,153
-[Tina] R... Right, right. Mmm.
-But I understand the urge.
465
00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:46,571
-Bye.
-Bye, Mike.
466
00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:49,157
Huh, that box seems
kind of small for pencils.
467
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:52,535
Uh, that's
because th... they're golf pencils.
468
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:55,621
Yeah, for golf. How else are
we gonna break into corporate America?
469
00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:56,706
[Bob] Hmm.
470
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,457
Okay, if Gene and I go upstairs real quick
471
00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:00,168
to put these away
in my tiny pencil cabinet?
472
00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:02,295
-What? No.
-Uh, we'll be right back, okay? Thanks.
473
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:04,172
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
I need you down here.
474
00:16:04,255 --> 00:16:06,007
Also, your mom kicked you out.
475
00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:07,592
She was just testing
our commitment.
476
00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:09,135
[Tina] We'll tell her
you say hi. Bye!
477
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:11,262
[Bob sighs] So...
478
00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:12,555
-Don't.
-[Bob] Hmm.
479
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,183
[Tina sighs] There he is.
480
00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:17,143
Little Baby Butt Flap,
with just one crack.
481
00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:18,561
The one he was born with.
482
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:20,563
Okay, Mom's with Louise
in the living room.
483
00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:22,815
If I use the hallway door,
I can sneak this into Mom's room
484
00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:25,651
without them seeing me, slip this onto
Mom's dresser, and we're in the clear.
485
00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:26,777
Good luck up there.
486
00:16:26,861 --> 00:16:29,530
Don't let the other babies make
you feel bad just 'cause your flap's down.
487
00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:30,740
It's your strength.
488
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,950
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
489
00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:35,161
[Louise] Remember when
Tina and Gene were here?
490
00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:37,914
Those guys are so freaked out
about the beans.
491
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,290
Beans? What beans?
492
00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:42,460
The beans, woman.
They think I'm gonna spill 'em.
493
00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:45,713
But I'm not, 'cause they're
my magic beans and I'm Jack, baby.
494
00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:48,424
I'm not gonna say anything
about what happened in your room.
495
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:50,509
What? What happened
in my room?
496
00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:51,761
What didn't happen?
497
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,137
But what did happen?
498
00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:54,347
[chuckling] I know, right?
499
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:55,848
Okay, I'm gonna go
look in my room,
500
00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:57,099
'cause you're
makin' me nervous.
501
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:59,018
All right. I'm gonna
stare at my feet.
502
00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:01,270
[Louise] Look at all these
different-sized toes.
503
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:02,939
That's gotta mean something.
504
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,024
Mom's searching her room.
She's gonna figure it out.
505
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:06,609
-Baby Butt Flap, teleport.
-[Tina groaning]
506
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,110
Go! Energize.
507
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:09,779
Crap.
508
00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:13,115
[♪ tense music playing]
509
00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:14,867
Okay, what am I looking
for in here, Louise?
510
00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:17,119
Beans? Did you kids
spill beans in here?
511
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:20,122
[Linda] This is why
you're not allowed in my room.
512
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:23,167
I'm not crazy
about your energy right now, Lin.
513
00:17:23,251 --> 00:17:25,002
-Psst! Louise.
-Oh, hey, guys.
514
00:17:25,086 --> 00:17:26,712
-[Tina and Gene shushing]
-Why? What?
515
00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:28,881
[whispering] You...
You gotta get Mom out of her room.
516
00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:30,466
Ge... get her to come
into the living room.
517
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,301
That's fun. How do I do that?
518
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:33,803
Um, tell her
you can't reach the remote
519
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:35,972
and you need her
to come in and turn on the TV for you.
520
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,515
Ooh, maybe that commercial
521
00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:40,059
with the break-dancing
personal injury lawyer will be on.
522
00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:42,311
Oh, yeah. Hey, Mom!
523
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:43,854
Come turn on the TV!
524
00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:47,358
Maybe that commercial
with the break-dancing lawyer will be on.
525
00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,735
The one that made
Gene wanna practice law?
526
00:17:49,819 --> 00:17:52,196
I love that commercial,
but Mom is busy.
527
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:55,283
Dang it. Um, tell her that
you wanna talk about,
528
00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:58,077
uh, finally starting
the family book club, but it's magazines.
529
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,454
Oh, yeah. She's been
pushing that for a while.
530
00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:03,457
Hey, Mom! You wanna come talk
about family book club,
531
00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:04,709
but it's magazines?
532
00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:08,129
I'm coming around on it.
I wanna get into the details.
533
00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:09,338
Not now, sweetie.
534
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,007
Right now,
I mostly just wanna know
535
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,967
what the heck
happened in my room.
536
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:15,052
That's what Mom
really wants to talk about.
537
00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:16,596
What happened in her room.
538
00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:18,806
Oh, my God.
That actually might be the only thing
539
00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:20,141
that gets her to come in here.
540
00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:22,602
You know what, Louise?
Tell Mom everything.
541
00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:24,687
Everything that happened
to Little Baby Butt Flap.
542
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,856
-What?
-Yeah, and take a long time.
543
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,316
Feel free
to fall off the couch a lot.
544
00:18:28,399 --> 00:18:29,650
You got it, boss.
545
00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:33,029
[Louise] Hey, Mom!
You wanna know what happened in your room?
546
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,739
Come in here,
and I'll tell you.
547
00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:38,075
-You're gonna be so mad.
-How mad?
548
00:18:38,159 --> 00:18:39,994
-Go. Go. Go.
-Talk, Louise.
549
00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:43,372
[Louise] So, you know, how you decided
to pay Tina five dollars an hour,
550
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:46,250
United States cash money
to babysit us,
551
00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:48,419
because she's so responsible?
552
00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:50,796
[whooshing]
553
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:52,048
[tires screeching]
554
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:55,009
Hi, you must be Mary,
Kathleen's mom, right?
555
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:57,637
How was your flight?
I'm Teddy. Catholic as hell.
556
00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,639
I... I hope you haven't
been waiting too long.
557
00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:00,931
Traffic. Ooh, boy.
558
00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:02,266
What are you gonna do?
[chuckles]
559
00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:04,852
Hey, you hungry?
I know a great burger place.
560
00:19:04,935 --> 00:19:08,564
And Gene and I were having
a boobie battle with your bras,
561
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:10,566
as one does
when you're not home.
562
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:12,943
-[Linda] Okay, I don't like that.
-[Louise] Gene's idea.
563
00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:17,865
And then, Tina comes in and proceeds
to just smash the living daylights
564
00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:20,034
-out of your porcelain Butt Flap Baby.
-[Tina gasps]
565
00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:21,869
Oh, God. I'm coming,
Little Baby Butt Flap.
566
00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:23,204
[Tina grunting]
567
00:19:23,287 --> 00:19:25,665
[Linda] Please don't be dead.
Please don't be dead.
568
00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:27,249
[sighs] Oh, there you are. Oh!
569
00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:30,920
Seems fine.
I don't know, Louise.
570
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,673
I think that's the,
uh, wack-enol talking.
571
00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:35,549
No babies are broken in here.
572
00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:37,593
And they might have gotten
a little cuter somehow.
573
00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:39,470
-Mwah!
-Whatever, bro.
574
00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:41,931
Come push me off the couch.
I miss the rush.
575
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:43,099
-No.
-Boo.
576
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:44,183
Phew!
577
00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:47,186
[Linda] Baby Butt Flap, you look like
you wanna come over here and play
578
00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:49,355
-with Baby Bashful.
-Oh, no. [groaning]
579
00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:52,191
[Linda] And Baby Bath Time,
I'm gonna put you with Baby Hold Her Toes.
580
00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:54,110
-But don't get too clicky, okay?
-[Tina grunting]
581
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,486
[Linda] You know
how you two can get.
582
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:57,738
And look at the face
you're makin', little Stinker Baby.
583
00:19:57,863 --> 00:19:59,573
-[Tina exhales]
-What a little stinker you are.
584
00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:01,409
I'm gonna put you next
to Baby Surprised Eyes.
585
00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:02,493
[groaning]
586
00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:04,120
You two have fun,
but be nice.
587
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,413
[sighs]
588
00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:06,580
[♪ pleasant music playing]
589
00:20:06,664 --> 00:20:09,959
Going to the toilet. That airport bench
didn't have a bog hole in it.
590
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,627
[sighs] Sorry, again.
591
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,838
Oh, Teddy, don't feel bad.
Honest mistake.
592
00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:16,215
She does look like
every little old lady in Ireland.
593
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:17,633
I've even picked up
the wrong one.
594
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,802
-Really?
-Yeah, she lived with me for two years.
595
00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:22,596
I grew quite fond of her.
Swapped her back. We stay in touch.
596
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,015
-[chuckles] Wait, you're kidding, right?
-Yes.
597
00:20:25,099 --> 00:20:27,309
So, you couldn't find
a bigger crucifix now?
598
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:30,813
This is XL. If you want double XL,
you have to special order it.
599
00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:33,232
I can't believe I missed
bodybuilder Kathleen.
600
00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:35,526
Yeah, her mom kept asking her
to beat me up,
601
00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:38,779
but, uh, she didn't.
And I'm... I'm glad for that.
602
00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:39,864
Me, too.
603
00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:42,074
Hey, by the way, good news.
604
00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:43,701
Louise didn't blab
to Tina and Gene
605
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:44,827
that we let her stay up late,
606
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:47,037
and watch that horror movie
without them a few weeks ago.
607
00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:48,873
Oh, phew!
I was worried about that.
608
00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:51,125
Glad, you stayed close to her.
That was a good plan.
609
00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:53,753
Gene and Tina have no idea.
They're clueless.
610
00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:55,838
[Bob] Ha! We're smart
and they're dumb.
611
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:57,339
[Linda]
♪ Little Baby Butt Flap ♪
612
00:20:57,423 --> 00:21:00,968
♪ With your rosy cheeks
both north and south ♪
613
00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:03,763
♪ Everyone can see
your butt crack ♪
614
00:21:04,221 --> 00:21:07,266
♪ But we think it's sweet
you let it all hang out ♪
615
00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:10,519
♪ Don't you ever pull
that flap up ♪
616
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:12,480
♪ If you care about me ♪
617
00:21:12,563 --> 00:21:14,565
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
618
00:21:14,648 --> 00:21:17,735
♪ Your adorable face makes
the world much brighter ♪
619
00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:19,278
♪ With a tushy that cute ♪
620
00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:20,863
♪ It's a shame
to wear a diaper ♪
621
00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:22,823
♪ Oh, Little Baby Butt Flap ♪
622
00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:25,868
♪ I love you from the bottom
of my heart ♪
623
00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:27,203
[Linda] Aw,
come here, little baby.
624
00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:28,871
Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!
Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!
48340
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