Original subtitles

[♪ theme song playing]

Drivel. Funny word. What's the plural? "Drivelous"?

That looks like you'll be jaywalking home. [snickers]

Oh. [chuckles] I didn't think I'd get my way.

[tittering] So much pressure.

Okay. Scanning through 1000 channels and…

nothing good.

Mom, maybe you could tell a story about us when we were younger.

Um, we've done that a few times. Not sure what stories are left.

Well, at least we used the fireplace for once.

And this does remind me of a story.

It's a story of a very sad time,

a time when we thought Bart might be a truly bad boy.

It was four years ago.

Bart was six, and Homer was gently reading little Lisa to sleep.

"The scared little bird walked up to the steam shovel.

Are you my mother? Asked the bird.

The steam shovel said, snort!"

Mmm. Carrot.

Homer, there's someone else here who might have wanted that cookie.

Aw. Sorry, boy.

Ew. Carrot. [groans]

You know, the more I think about it, Homie,

Never!

[groans] Repeat after me: "Right is right."

Right is wrong!

[sighs] It's so hard being a good father.

How did people raise kids before duct tape?

[Marge] It got to where all Bart could think about

was how mad he was at Homer.

[♪ "La Gazza Iadra: Overture" playing]

Prayer, ignoring it, donating $20. Nothing worked.

My recommendation is a larger donation.

Thanks for nothing.

That's his father.

He's aged that poor man that much?

What the?

Homer is 38.

Dear God.

Bart, you're a very special boy.

Okay. I'm just going to say it. The boy is a P-S-Y-C-H-O.

Psycho!

And there's your second opinion.

With an emergency court order, we can get him immediately into this facility.

The social workers will come Monday

in a windowless van disguised as a colorful ice-cream truck.

We really miss you, boy.

[game beeping, chiming]

[recorder] The cow says… [imitating cow] …Moo!

That's a phone call you never wanna get. [cries]

You know what these signify? That's right. It's all the times I cried.

[electricity crackles]

-Well, is it free coffee with purchase-- -I'm afraid not.

Well, you're coming downtown to where I live,

to teach my wife how to make donuts. Let's go.

[♪ ice cream truck music plays]

This childhood is over.

And in case we have to deal with that quote unquote "father", I brought this.

Boy, they're coming for you.

[knocks on door]

Not again.

You know what to do, people.

[bangs on door]

Just take the ding dang plate!